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NETFLIX PRESENTS
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Bonobo apes,
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humankind's closest relatives
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with many fascinating similarities.
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Except for one thing.
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Bonobos are extremely promiscuous,
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while humans form lifelong
and monogamous relationships.
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Or do we?
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Seventy percent of all relationships
experience infidelity,
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and globally,
as many as sixty percent divorce.
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Still, the standard norm
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continues to revolve
around the one lifelong love.
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Why?
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When our ancestors
started walking on two legs
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in order to find more food,
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the females had to carry their children
in their arms instead of on their backs,
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like when we walked on all fours.
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With children on their backs,
the females could defend themselves.
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But from this point in history,
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the male had to defend
both woman and child.
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According to some, this was the foundation
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of humankind's monogamous pair bonding.
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Then came religion.
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Around 350 AD,
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Augustine of Hippo
described man's sexuality and lust
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as, "Moral decadence
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that should be punished
by eternal expulsion from Paradise."
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Poor Augustine worried a lot
about human urges
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and defined marriage as
an institution that would regulate them.
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Marriage is acceptable for reproduction,
faith and sacrament.
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Without lust or passion, though.
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Otherwise, you would have to burn in hell.
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But the threat of God's punishment
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didn't seem to stop the human urges.
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Or should we say "male urges"?
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Up until 18th-century Romanticism,
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when emotions
were finally allowed some space.
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Marriage then became a twosome,
a lifelong and monogamous ideal.
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But the extramarital lusts
would not be tamed.
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Up until...
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the beginning of the 1900s,
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when the women's rights movement
finally demanded equal rights
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and equal sexual freedom.
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This was a problem
for the Christian church.
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Would they have to handle brothels
for women as well now?
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Well, we know how that went.
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But luckily,
the women's liberation struggle continued
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throughout the entire 1900s.
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From the sexual revolution in the '60s,
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people could sleep and live with a partner
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they had picked.
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The modern couple's relationship
was expected to have it all.
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People expected safety
and adventure, friendship and sex
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all under one roof
in a lifelong partnership.
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So why were people
getting divorced more than ever?
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Are there any good kids here?
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Look what he brought! Huh?
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Well, now we're keeping
our fingers crossed.
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She's in the fourth month
so it should be all right.
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Wow, it's amazing
that you are really doing this.
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A few years of changing diapers,
sleep deprivation and bad finances,
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that's nothing to fight about.
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You got a divorce after three years.
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I know what I'm talking about.
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Teun and I don't trick ourselves into
believing that it will be easy at any age.
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Are you going to be Daddy One
and Daddy Two?
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No, Daddy and Daddy's boyfriend.
It's Tom's sperm, so this is the future.
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You know what you'll be doing
for the next ten years.
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Damn it, I don't want to grow up.
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Adam, I don't think there is any risk
that you'll ever grow up.
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I think it's pretty grown up of you
to move in together.
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And now we are just waiting
for a couple of kids too.
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Yeah, we're practicing a lot.
All the time.
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Okay, yeah...
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Cheers to you.
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Cheers to the new apartment.
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Cheers, congratulations.
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It's fun to celebrate Christmas in summer.
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- Cheers!
- Cheers!
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Cheers.
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Yeah, Merry Christmas!
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Hey, can we do the drugs soon?
I'm getting really wasted.
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Frida, do you have a small plate?
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I think we have a plate.
We have plates in the plate...
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drawer.
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I love you.
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I love you.
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PAIR BONDING
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When field voles have sex,
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their brains release dopamine,
the reward hormone.
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It makes them happy
and they want more of their partner.
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And it's the same for humans.
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Sex produces dopamine
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which creates attachment,
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which is the basis of pair bonding.
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Hang on. I'll just...
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There.
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Mm, there.
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Yes, that...
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Ah!
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Damn, it feels as if
it's been two months since we did this.
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No, we screwed last Saturday.
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Don't you remember?
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What? Did we?
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Yes we did.
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It couldn't have been with me.
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No, did she fall out of bed?
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Maybe she hit her head
on the edge of the bed.
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It's all right.
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God, maybe we should get
a sleep therapist or something.
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What?
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Well, I mean,
she still wakes up every night.
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None of the others were like that.
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I don't get it.
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We haven't slept alone since forever.
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Is that... Is that normal?
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Do we have to talk about this now?
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No, I'm sorry.
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It's just...
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As soon as my head hits the pillow
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the thoughts appear. I'm sorry.
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- Could you just be quiet for a while?
- Yes, I'm sorry.
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Come here, honey.
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Come here.
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Hold on, hold on. Condom.
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Oh no, please.
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Stop whining.
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Just put on the condom, please.
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Can't we just...
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No, just put it on. How hard can it be?
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I just want to feel you for real.
That's not so strange, is it?
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But I either stuff myself
full of hormones or pieces of metal
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or I'll get pregnant again,
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and none of that can happen,
so just put it on.
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Yes, all right.
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We have this discussion
every fucking time.
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- Spread your legs a bit.
- Yeah.
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There.
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Okay.
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Wait.
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Now focus.
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Harder.
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What did you say?
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Harder?
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You want it harder?
146
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Why do you want it harder?
147
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Please...
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Do you wish I was bigger?
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No.
150
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Stop it.
151
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Don't ask that
after three kids and ten years.
152
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You'll walk sideways
when I'm done with you.
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I love being inside you.
154
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Mommy?
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- No, keep going.
- Okay.
156
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Mommy!
157
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Just keep going! Keep going!
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Stay in bed.
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Mommy!
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For fuck's sake.
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God!
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Okay, we're leaving in five minutes.
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Daddy? Will I get a dog for Christmas?
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What?
165
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What did you...? No, we can't have a dog.
166
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Not in the flat.
It's not right for the animal.
167
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- Anna? Anna!
- Stop stressing. You don't need to nag.
168
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Yes, I do. It's 7:30. Come on.
169
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Stress is bad for your health.
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- You say that yourself. Right, Dad?
- Yeah, hold on.
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- Brush your teeth.
- Dad, you're not answering.
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What did you say?
173
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You're so annoying, you don't listen.
174
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You're stressing me out. It's not healthy.
175
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I know. I'm sorry, honey.
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- Take these.
- Okay.
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- Good.
- Chop-chop. Put your overall on.
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- Anna, please...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Damn it!
180
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- Come on.
- But I want the comfy socks.
181
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Yes, but it's cold outside,
so you need those.
182
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But I want the comfy ones...
183
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- No, stop that!
- She pulled me.
184
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- Yes, I saw that. Don't do that.
- But I want the comfy socks.
185
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They're dirty.
186
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You have to have clean socks.
187
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:12,000
- Who's taken my water bottle?
- I have your water bottle.
188
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Say that then.
189
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I don't want to fight with you, Louie.
190
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All right.
191
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These socks are good.
I love these socks, Mommy.
192
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- Do you have...?
- Yeah, what?
193
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2 DL SUGAR, 2 EGGS, 2 DL FLOUR
194
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50 G BUTTER, 1 TSP BAKING SODA
195
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20 MINUTES
196
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:33,208
What's this?
197
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,166
Do all of you know what that is?
198
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:38,250
Yes?
199
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A cake.
200
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,416
Yes.
201
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,250
But not just yet, right?
202
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:44,000
Yes, Liam.
203
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:45,291
It's a recipe.
204
00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:47,250
Exactly. It is.
205
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,708
And what do we need recipes for?
206
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:52,291
For baking cakes, for example.
207
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:53,375
Exactly.
208
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Yes, we do.
209
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,791
And if we didn't have a recipe,
210
00:12:56,875 --> 00:13:00,541
the cake might be too hard or soggy.
211
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:03,583
Or we might get a lasagna instead.
212
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,000
- That's not what we wanted.
- No.
213
00:13:07,083 --> 00:13:10,416
Right? So, a recipe is an instruction.
214
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,791
We use the recipe as an instruction.
215
00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,958
And it's the same thing with computers.
216
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:18,375
It's so good.
217
00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:21,125
But dear friends,
let's not get too comfortable, okay?
218
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,208
The Christmas bonus doesn't create itself.
219
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,958
And you want that new car, right?
220
00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:26,791
Don't you? Don't you?
221
00:13:26,875 --> 00:13:28,041
Yes, you do.
222
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,625
Now back to work.
Come on. Get out of here.
223
00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:33,291
Scram, scram, scram.
224
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,291
Stefan, the presentation was awesome.
225
00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:38,666
And Monica, let's talk for a second.
226
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:57,541
Easy for her to work 24/7 when she
doesn't have anything to come home to.
227
00:13:58,416 --> 00:14:00,791
- What? Have you been to her place?
- Stop it.
228
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,416
- Have you slept with her?
- No.
229
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,583
No, but she says it herself.
She doesn't want a family.
230
00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:07,875
She just wants to live life.
231
00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:11,000
Yeah, well, I can relate to that.
232
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,458
But check this out.
233
00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:15,125
Who wants a car
when you can get one of these?
234
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,625
- Whoa.
- Right?
235
00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:18,916
Where did you find it?
236
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,500
Bangkok. It was pretty cheap as well.
237
00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:24,583
I've been emailing the store owner.
He seems really cool.
238
00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:26,125
It looks good.
239
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:29,000
With that one...
We'll get all the way to Nepal in it.
240
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:31,750
I can hardly wait.
241
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,083
Me neither.
242
00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:34,125
You know...
243
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,500
Shit, are you going home?
244
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:39,208
No, I'm working another couple of hours.
245
00:14:39,291 --> 00:14:40,541
Child-free week.
246
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,458
Right, good for you.
247
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,500
Have fun.
248
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:47,416
Yep.
249
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:11,333
Hello, hello. Hi.
250
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,125
- He's reading.
- "Then
251
00:15:13,208 --> 00:15:15,333
the snake said
252
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,291
that she..."
253
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,416
So you can't even say hi?
254
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,375
"...eat the apple, but..."
255
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,625
You are my little honey.
256
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:30,166
- No, goddamn it!
- What did I do? What happened?
257
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:33,333
- I almost dropped it.
- I just wanted to give you a hug.
258
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:37,750
It's just that Leo's been looking forward
to reading that book to us.
259
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:39,166
Did you buy detergent?
260
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:42,166
What book are you reading, Leo?
261
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,500
- Hi, dad.
- Hi.
262
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:48,708
We're reading Alex and Eve at school.
263
00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:50,250
Adam and Eve, honey.
264
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,875
Alex and Eve sounds nice.
265
00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:55,250
- Did you?
- No, I'm afraid I forgot.
266
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,041
- But I got wine. Would you like some?
- No, thanks.
267
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,208
- No...
- Daddy, do you want to hear it?
268
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,125
- I'd love to hear it.
- Listen.
269
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:05,708
- Okay.
- "One day when Eve was in..."
270
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:08,625
Anna, we're eating. Come on
271
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,416
Hi, sweetheart. Are you hungry?
272
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,583
Good.
273
00:16:12,666 --> 00:16:15,583
We had a little accident at school today.
274
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,000
- Yeah, I get it.
- So I need to wash.
275
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,916
I get it, but I forgot to buy it, okay?
276
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,500
- Right...
- Seriously, pasta today again?
277
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,875
If you don't like it,
you can go to bed without dinner.
278
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:30,625
And I'll take this one. The end.
279
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,666
You can't just take it like that.
280
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:34,250
Yes, actually, I can
281
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,875
because now we're going to
have dinner together.
282
00:16:36,958 --> 00:16:38,166
Come on, let's eat.
283
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:41,333
When you study,
I don't interrupt you, but now...
284
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,500
Why do you do that to me?
285
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:46,958
Mommy, tell him. He took my book.
286
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:49,500
Why did you
have to take the book right now?
287
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:52,916
But, honey,
he didn't mean to just take it, okay?
288
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,333
Let's eat first and then
we'll read the rest. Okay, sweetie?
289
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:59,958
- I'm angry!
- Yes, that's enough!
290
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:02,916
Enough. We've heard that you're angry.
291
00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:08,333
Hey.
292
00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:10,291
The faster you eat,
293
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:14,541
the sooner we can cuddle up
on the sofa and read it later, okay?
294
00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:15,875
Okay, sweetie?
295
00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:34,291
Hey, take it easy, okay?
296
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,541
Come and sit down, let me show you.
297
00:17:44,166 --> 00:17:45,208
Wow.
298
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:49,083
Wow... So you are really going?
299
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:50,791
My God, yes.
300
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,625
- For real?
- Of course... Yes, for real. Of course.
301
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:57,291
Yeah.
302
00:17:57,875 --> 00:18:00,291
It's so cool.
303
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:01,750
Yes, it really is.
304
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,166
Louie needs a bath.
Anna had homework, so I was thinking...
305
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:12,500
Could you do bath time? Thanks.
306
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:28,375
Björn?
307
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:32,125
Björn. Go to bed.
308
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,416
Björn?
309
00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:48,083
BOREDOM
310
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,166
I think we had sex
311
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,583
six times an hour in the beginning.
312
00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:57,666
Yeah, back then...
We went at it. Yeah, we did.
313
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:59,541
Then it became once a month
314
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,875
and now it's...
315
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:02,833
Well, what is it now?
316
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:03,750
Now it's...
317
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:10,708
The testosterone levels
drop like crazy after the honeymoon.
318
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,375
Yeah, it's...
319
00:21:12,958 --> 00:21:14,583
We men often joke about it.
320
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,250
"What was that?"
321
00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:19,208
"The testosterone level!"
322
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:23,416
On top of that,
you have to admit that it's...
323
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:27,208
You don't have to flex your muscles
in order to catch her.
324
00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:31,375
Yeah, we have each other.
325
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,291
And that's good too.
326
00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:37,250
I think.
327
00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:39,333
Right, honey?
328
00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:41,250
Don't we?
329
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:44,000
Right.
330
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,833
Spare clothes, cookies, water.
331
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,833
We have everything.
332
00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:55,583
We're off now.
333
00:21:57,541 --> 00:22:00,041
- What?
- Yeah, I told you an hour ago.
334
00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:01,916
You even replied.
335
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,375
What did you say?
336
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,833
Isn't today Saturday?
337
00:22:10,375 --> 00:22:14,166
They've been up for hours and need to
get out before they strangle each other.
338
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,375
Okay.
339
00:22:15,458 --> 00:22:17,291
Can you vacuum while we're gone?
340
00:22:21,333 --> 00:22:22,333
How are you?
341
00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:24,333
There is nothing new at all. Nothing.
342
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,500
It's just work, kids, kids, work.
343
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,500
- How's your new apartment?
- It's nice.
344
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:29,958
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
345
00:22:30,041 --> 00:22:32,208
- I want to visit.
- Yes, of course.
346
00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:34,583
Olli seems happy.
347
00:22:34,666 --> 00:22:35,625
Yeah.
348
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,083
I hope so. I mean, it's very small.
349
00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:40,583
But it's enough for the two of us.
350
00:22:41,291 --> 00:22:42,125
And you?
351
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:43,541
It's all good.
352
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:45,708
Have you met someone?
353
00:22:46,791 --> 00:22:47,666
What?
354
00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:49,416
No, absolutely not.
355
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250
Not met somebody,
356
00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:55,916
but there's a young, fit little thing
357
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,875
who comes over for tea now and then.
358
00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:10,500
- Is that so?
- I'm almost ashamed.
359
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:15,125
Because I feel like my life
is totally perfect right now.
360
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:19,000
For real. I get the best of both worlds.
361
00:23:19,083 --> 00:23:21,416
I get one entire week
when I can be with Olli
362
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:25,333
and be 100% present as his mom.
363
00:23:25,416 --> 00:23:29,791
And then I get one week
when I can binge-watch TV shows,
364
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:32,000
not eat gross kid's food,
365
00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:34,375
and recharge my batteries.
366
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:39,125
Of course, I miss Olli a lot
when he stays with Adam.
367
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:43,375
I can't even think about it.
But I couldn't stay in what we had.
368
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:45,291
I know.
369
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,166
It was a nightmare putting them to bed.
370
00:23:53,041 --> 00:23:54,166
Goodnight.
371
00:24:05,416 --> 00:24:07,791
Are you happy? With our life?
372
00:24:11,208 --> 00:24:13,083
Yes, really happy, honey.
373
00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:15,416
Why do you ask?
374
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,416
I don't think you are. Or that I am.
375
00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:24,916
I see.
376
00:24:26,958 --> 00:24:28,500
Do you miss being on your own?
377
00:24:31,083 --> 00:24:31,916
What?
378
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,708
Not as in being single, but...
379
00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:38,583
Just doing something for you,
380
00:24:38,666 --> 00:24:42,916
being yourself, being ourselves.
381
00:24:44,791 --> 00:24:48,250
Well, of course there are things
that I miss doing,
382
00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:50,916
but I can still do them.
383
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,041
It's just that the days
are so packed right now...
384
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,791
- But are you really happy?
- Well...
385
00:24:56,875 --> 00:25:00,125
Because it feels like
we're just living a routine,
386
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:01,041
you and I.
387
00:25:03,083 --> 00:25:05,666
Maybe you should think more
about yourself,
388
00:25:05,750 --> 00:25:08,208
take it easy, chill a little.
389
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:11,458
Yeah.
390
00:25:12,708 --> 00:25:14,375
But it's not that easy
391
00:25:14,458 --> 00:25:16,875
with three kids and a full-time job.
392
00:25:16,958 --> 00:25:18,375
Yes, it actually is.
393
00:25:21,958 --> 00:25:23,125
You just have to do it.
394
00:25:24,375 --> 00:25:26,291
That's just bullshit.
395
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,583
It's not realistic.
396
00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:33,541
How are we supposed to take it easy
with homework, clubs and cooking...
397
00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:36,916
Why do you think
I'm planning this motorbike trip?
398
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,291
That's exactly my point.
399
00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:43,083
It feels as if you're escaping
from our life.
400
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:46,541
Hang on. You just said
that we should do things on our own.
401
00:25:47,208 --> 00:25:50,541
You said that. Then you can do things
on your own too, right?
402
00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,916
It's not that easy.
That's what I'm saying.
403
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,750
Yes, it is easy,
but you're complicating it.
404
00:25:55,833 --> 00:25:59,291
You don't have to get up
at 6:30 every fucking day.
405
00:25:59,375 --> 00:26:01,958
You don't have to cook every night.
406
00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:03,416
We could solve it.
407
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:07,875
You don't have to wash clothes
all the time. They're not that dirty.
408
00:26:07,958 --> 00:26:10,375
Yes, I do. What the hell do you mean?
409
00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:12,375
I mean that you can relax a bit.
410
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:14,208
Who will do everything then?
411
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:18,458
I'll sleep on the couch.
I can't handle you right now.
412
00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:20,041
Yeah, that's great.
413
00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:21,666
That's just perfect.
414
00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:23,125
Great problem-solving.
415
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,875
I'm just saying that I'm not like you.
416
00:26:26,958 --> 00:26:28,208
- No.
- No.
417
00:26:28,291 --> 00:26:30,333
I can't just turn off my family.
418
00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:32,625
I can't sleep in every Saturday.
419
00:26:32,708 --> 00:26:34,041
I can't.
420
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:36,875
And I'm not dreaming
of traveling through Europe
421
00:26:36,958 --> 00:26:39,458
on some motorbike trip with my friends.
422
00:26:39,541 --> 00:26:41,000
I'm not.
423
00:26:41,875 --> 00:26:44,750
I'm here and now in my life,
424
00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:46,541
and I've chosen that.
425
00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:50,000
It feels like you're always dreaming
426
00:26:50,083 --> 00:26:52,541
about being somewhere else, not here.
427
00:26:52,625 --> 00:26:56,500
Okay, that's how you feel, but I...
What do you want me to say?
428
00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:59,916
I want you to talk to me.
We have to talk this through.
429
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,458
We're always tired
and it's never the right time,
430
00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:06,791
but when I try to talk to you,
you want to walk away.
431
00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:11,625
Right?
432
00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:17,458
Maybe we should talk to someone.
433
00:27:17,541 --> 00:27:19,458
Like a couples therapist.
434
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:22,458
Well, I feel good, Frida.
But maybe you need therapy.
435
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:26,125
Well, that's fucking unfair,
Mr. Anal Porn.
436
00:27:26,208 --> 00:27:29,208
I know you want more in life
437
00:27:29,291 --> 00:27:32,625
than fucking Friday tacos
and everyday sex.
438
00:27:32,708 --> 00:27:34,208
Why can't we talk about it?
439
00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:36,583
Do something about it.
440
00:27:37,416 --> 00:27:38,875
Like, I don't know...
441
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,083
Take a break,
442
00:27:41,916 --> 00:27:44,875
or maybe try involving a third person, or...
443
00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:47,416
- Or maybe not.
- No.
444
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:50,250
But I know there are things
that we could do.
445
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,250
We just need help.
446
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,708
Everyone goes to therapy, why not us?
447
00:27:56,791 --> 00:27:59,333
Hang on. Listen to me.
448
00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:02,500
We're not going to take a break.
Forget that.
449
00:28:02,583 --> 00:28:07,000
And the thing with a third person...
Have you been smoking something?
450
00:28:07,083 --> 00:28:10,166
And therapy isn't always the answer.
451
00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,791
At least not for me.
452
00:28:14,083 --> 00:28:15,750
So what should we do?
453
00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:21,291
Maybe go out and have some fun?
454
00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:29,583
{\an8}REIGNITION
455
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,791
Oh my God, yes.
456
00:28:31,875 --> 00:28:33,958
It was the same thing for us.
457
00:28:34,583 --> 00:28:37,791
When our oxytocin levels plummeted,
458
00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:41,666
we became like brother and sister.
459
00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:45,458
Well, I was as horny as always,
460
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,416
but you know,
461
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,875
you don't sleep with your brother.
462
00:28:57,125 --> 00:29:02,583
So the zoo tried to boost
our hormone levels again.
463
00:29:03,416 --> 00:29:05,833
They thought we were getting too passive.
464
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:06,750
Yep.
465
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:11,416
So they gave us some new toys.
466
00:29:13,416 --> 00:29:18,541
At first I found it ridiculous.
467
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:22,333
I mean, was he supposed to try
and get a six-pack?
468
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:51,166
But then...
469
00:29:57,083 --> 00:29:58,791
What can I say?
470
00:30:00,291 --> 00:30:03,166
Just check out those abs.
471
00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:21,166
It really boosted our chemistry.
472
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,083
Is she asleep?
473
00:30:27,166 --> 00:30:29,125
- Like a little bear.
- Good.
474
00:30:29,791 --> 00:30:31,750
- Damn, you're hot.
- Stop it
475
00:30:31,833 --> 00:30:33,708
I'll just put it in there.
476
00:30:33,791 --> 00:30:36,416
Stop it. I only feel tired.
477
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,625
I guess I'll leave then.
478
00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,500
Or should I wait for you?
479
00:30:42,583 --> 00:30:45,083
- No, don't worry. Mom will be here soon.
- Okay.
480
00:30:48,875 --> 00:30:52,208
We could meet up later if you want.
481
00:30:52,291 --> 00:30:54,708
Unless I fall asleep at dinner.
482
00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:57,958
I'm pretty sure that your party friends
483
00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:00,500
will have something
to keep you up all night.
484
00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:04,416
That feels fucking adolescent.
485
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,375
Nobody has taken drugs
for like a hundred years.
486
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:09,750
And who would
take care of the kids tomorrow?
487
00:31:10,708 --> 00:31:14,375
Well, excuse me.
They do have a dad as well.
488
00:31:14,458 --> 00:31:17,708
I can take the kids first thing,
so go out and have fun.
489
00:31:18,916 --> 00:31:20,125
I think you need it.
490
00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:26,458
Okay.
491
00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:30,500
Have a good time.
492
00:31:31,750 --> 00:31:33,416
- Bye.
- Bye.
493
00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:50,500
- Hello!
- Hi!
494
00:31:50,583 --> 00:31:51,458
Hi!
495
00:31:52,041 --> 00:31:53,125
Hello.
496
00:31:54,208 --> 00:31:56,458
- My turn.
- I can't take it anymore.
497
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,958
Ouch!
498
00:32:01,916 --> 00:32:04,041
That sounds fantastic. Just you two?
499
00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:06,541
Yeah, sure. It's... Thank you.
500
00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:09,000
- We're talking about the trip.
- Right.
501
00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:12,166
It's going to be awesome.
Martin and I, endless dirt roads.
502
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:15,250
We've been doing these trips
since we were, like, 20.
503
00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:16,416
Like, 20?
504
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:18,500
And now you're, like, 21?
505
00:32:19,708 --> 00:32:20,916
You two...
506
00:32:21,791 --> 00:32:23,000
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
507
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:26,333
I love motorbike trips. Love it.
508
00:32:26,416 --> 00:32:27,625
What, do you ride a bike?
509
00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:30,583
Do I ride a bike?
Are you kidding me? Love it.
510
00:32:31,541 --> 00:32:32,416
Awesome. Great.
511
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:34,833
It's the best way to see the world,
512
00:32:34,916 --> 00:32:35,958
if you ask me.
513
00:32:36,041 --> 00:32:37,666
- I agree.
- It's wonderful.
514
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:42,083
- Butterfingers.
- What?
515
00:32:42,166 --> 00:32:43,000
Dropped it.
516
00:32:43,833 --> 00:32:45,041
What did you say?
517
00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:46,875
What did you drop?
518
00:32:46,958 --> 00:32:48,500
Hello. Do you need help?
519
00:32:48,583 --> 00:32:50,625
No, I think I'll manage. Thanks.
520
00:32:51,375 --> 00:32:52,416
Damn.
521
00:32:53,916 --> 00:32:55,375
It's great.
522
00:32:56,166 --> 00:32:58,083
Listen, guess what I've got.
523
00:32:58,166 --> 00:33:01,041
- What?
- I thought we should party.
524
00:33:01,541 --> 00:33:03,250
- No...
- Yeah, come on.
525
00:33:03,333 --> 00:33:05,000
- Here?
- Yes.
526
00:33:06,041 --> 00:33:06,958
Now?
527
00:33:08,875 --> 00:33:11,875
- What's up?
- No, fun. Fun!
528
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:16,166
- What, are you leaving?
- I'll be right back. I'm getting ice.
529
00:33:16,250 --> 00:33:21,500
- The naming.
- No, our last party was a christening.
530
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,500
- Cheers.
- My God, I'm so passé.
531
00:33:24,583 --> 00:33:26,875
Honey, stop it. You look fantastic.
532
00:33:26,958 --> 00:33:30,416
The party doesn't stop in the suburbs.
It's just a bit different.
533
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:33,875
He's right. I've never seen
so many swingers, so many drugs.
534
00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:35,250
It's a circus out there.
535
00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:37,625
Are you kidding?
What suburb are you living in?
536
00:33:37,708 --> 00:33:39,166
For real?
537
00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:42,041
- How does that work for you?
- Let's take that later.
538
00:33:42,125 --> 00:33:43,625
- I want to know.
- Later...
539
00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:45,333
Hey, guys.
540
00:33:45,416 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaking of swingers and drugs,
541
00:33:48,083 --> 00:33:51,333
Mommy has a present for you!
542
00:33:51,416 --> 00:33:55,041
People have started using MDMA
for therapeutic reasons.
543
00:33:55,125 --> 00:33:58,708
I have a lot of traumas
that I need to work through,
544
00:33:58,791 --> 00:34:01,333
and you obviously need to relax,
545
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,291
so here's to being out-of-date
and less serious.
546
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,000
And to meeting more often?
547
00:34:06,083 --> 00:34:07,291
We will.
548
00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:11,458
Here's to everybody being more open
to new adventures.
549
00:34:11,541 --> 00:34:13,250
- Which I am.
- Cheers.
550
00:34:13,333 --> 00:34:16,500
- Björn will see to the kids tomorrow.
- They'll look after Björn.
551
00:34:18,083 --> 00:34:20,125
- God, I love Björn.
- Here's to Björn.
552
00:34:20,208 --> 00:34:21,500
Here's to Björn.
553
00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:25,583
Oh, damn it.
554
00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:31,500
After all the PowerPoint presentations,
555
00:34:31,583 --> 00:34:34,291
the boss needs to get laid
and take it easy, so...
556
00:34:34,375 --> 00:34:36,583
What? You can't say that.
557
00:34:36,666 --> 00:34:38,833
That's politically incorrect.
558
00:34:38,916 --> 00:34:41,875
But you can screw her
if you know what women need.
559
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:43,500
Oh, yuck. No, no, no.
560
00:34:43,583 --> 00:34:46,041
What about you, Björn? What do you need?
561
00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:49,125
- I need a drink. What would you like?
- I...
562
00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:53,083
- Sex on the beach, please?
- Sex on the beach...
563
00:34:53,166 --> 00:34:54,833
Two sex on the beach, please.
564
00:34:54,916 --> 00:34:57,000
Sex on the beach? Yes, please.
565
00:34:59,916 --> 00:35:00,833
Hey.
566
00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:03,375
- I can't.
- No?
567
00:35:03,458 --> 00:35:05,125
- It won't end well.
- Are you sure?
568
00:35:05,208 --> 00:35:06,166
I'm sure.
569
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:09,333
I'm married.
I'm not, you know, that kind of guy.
570
00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,375
- What?
- No worries. Sorry.
571
00:35:12,458 --> 00:35:13,625
It won't end well.
572
00:35:13,708 --> 00:35:16,291
I'm just teasing. I wasn't being serious.
573
00:35:16,375 --> 00:35:17,875
No, your feet are flirting.
574
00:35:17,958 --> 00:35:21,666
But listen, you need to know
that I will suck your cock anytime.
575
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:25,500
And I mean anytime. Let me know.
576
00:35:28,708 --> 00:35:29,625
Okay.
577
00:35:30,125 --> 00:35:32,708
- Okay?
- Okay. Thank you.
578
00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:33,666
One word.
579
00:35:34,916 --> 00:35:36,541
- Okay, cheers.
- Cheers.
580
00:35:38,791 --> 00:35:42,583
THE COOLIDGE EFFECT
581
00:35:42,666 --> 00:35:44,875
We had an important visitor on the farm.
582
00:35:44,958 --> 00:35:47,333
President Calvin Coolidge was here.
583
00:35:48,250 --> 00:35:50,833
And his wife Grace asked,
584
00:35:50,916 --> 00:35:52,750
"How often does the rooster mate?"
585
00:35:52,833 --> 00:35:56,750
"Dozens of times a day,"
the farmer replied.
586
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:58,333
"I see," Grace said.
587
00:35:58,416 --> 00:36:00,333
"Tell my husband."
588
00:36:00,416 --> 00:36:02,291
Then the President asked,
589
00:36:02,375 --> 00:36:06,083
"Is it with the same hen every time"?
590
00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:07,416
"No," the farmer said.
591
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:10,416
"It's a new hen every time."
592
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:13,291
"Oh," the President said.
593
00:36:14,083 --> 00:36:16,083
"Tell that to my wife."
594
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:29,958
You have to control your own narrative.
595
00:36:30,958 --> 00:36:33,875
Look at me and Teun.
We handled our problem.
596
00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:36,708
- We threw the screen out.
- Out with the screen!
597
00:36:36,791 --> 00:36:39,750
- In with the family therapist.
- And the potter's wheel.
598
00:36:39,833 --> 00:36:41,750
Damn, it isn't easy to live.
599
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:42,666
No.
600
00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:45,041
You actually do have a choice in life.
601
00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,000
Live it any way you want.
602
00:36:47,083 --> 00:36:49,583
I mean, ours isn't Instagram perfect,
603
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:51,833
but at least it's ours.
604
00:36:51,916 --> 00:36:52,750
Right?
605
00:36:53,333 --> 00:36:55,708
- It's really... You're lovely.
- I mean it!
606
00:36:55,791 --> 00:37:00,208
I only mean that a psychologist
and meditation isn't always the solution.
607
00:37:00,291 --> 00:37:01,875
But screwing is nice.
608
00:37:01,958 --> 00:37:04,083
Not everybody is built for kid's yoga,
609
00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:07,833
but read about the consequences
of these fucking screens.
610
00:37:07,916 --> 00:37:11,583
- Good.
- Yes. Have you read Sherry Turkle?
611
00:37:11,666 --> 00:37:12,666
- Sherry who?
- No.
612
00:37:13,458 --> 00:37:16,291
The conversation of...
She's been writing for forever about
613
00:37:16,375 --> 00:37:20,791
how too much screen time affects
children's brains and empathic abilities.
614
00:37:20,875 --> 00:37:25,166
I agree. Oliver can become almost
like a zombie in front of his iPad.
615
00:37:25,250 --> 00:37:28,041
After ten minutes it's like,
"I feel nothing."
616
00:37:28,125 --> 00:37:30,166
Now I can't... I can't feel anything.
617
00:37:30,250 --> 00:37:31,625
You're my idols.
618
00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:33,458
You are. I love you.
619
00:37:33,541 --> 00:37:35,541
Björn and I really need
620
00:37:35,625 --> 00:37:39,833
some ceramics
and a couples therapist right now.
621
00:37:39,916 --> 00:37:42,625
- Linda!
- What? Oh my God!
622
00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:44,958
Shit, it's been ages.
623
00:37:45,041 --> 00:37:47,375
- Hello.
- Hello.
624
00:37:47,458 --> 00:37:50,583
- Yes.
- But... It's been ages!
625
00:37:50,666 --> 00:37:52,041
- May I join you?
- Yes.
626
00:37:52,125 --> 00:37:53,708
Oh, nice!
627
00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:11,333
I stank like a fucking pub.
628
00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:15,083
You fell out of that place
and landed horizontally.
629
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:17,291
- They called the police.
- No.
630
00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:19,041
- Yes.
- Yeah, they did.
631
00:38:19,125 --> 00:38:23,916
I had to come up with a story
that you had an allergy or something.
632
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,666
And I said, "I'll try to get him home."
633
00:38:26,750 --> 00:38:28,000
Well, did you?
634
00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:31,666
- Did I?
- No!
635
00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:33,541
- I put you in a taxi.
- Yes.
636
00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:36,833
- Epic.
- We didn't see each other for years.
637
00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:39,083
It was too embarrassing.
638
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:42,500
- Now you understand why she chose Björn.
- Yes, you do.
639
00:38:42,583 --> 00:38:44,291
But you're here now, honey. Cheers!
640
00:38:44,375 --> 00:38:47,666
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
641
00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:49,916
Here's to many embarrassing memories.
642
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:53,416
I have to get back to my party.
See you later?
643
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:54,875
Yes, of course.
644
00:38:54,958 --> 00:38:56,416
- See you.
- Bye, Ben.
645
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,291
It was great seeing you.
646
00:38:58,375 --> 00:38:59,750
- Yes. Good to see you.
- Bye.
647
00:39:00,833 --> 00:39:02,125
Wow, what a...
648
00:39:02,208 --> 00:39:03,250
Linda, stop it.
649
00:39:03,833 --> 00:39:06,333
It must be strange to see him.
650
00:39:06,416 --> 00:39:09,041
- It was a long time ago.
- It didn't feel like it.
651
00:39:09,125 --> 00:39:11,166
I have three kids. Stop it.
652
00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:16,250
- Can't you laugh about it?
- Wow, so sensitive.
653
00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:18,166
"I have three children!"
654
00:39:23,916 --> 00:39:25,583
- Hi.
- Hi.
655
00:39:30,458 --> 00:39:31,666
Are you okay?
656
00:39:31,750 --> 00:39:34,666
Yeah, I'm great.
657
00:39:35,250 --> 00:39:36,750
You look amazing.
658
00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:40,583
You too.
659
00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:46,375
- And how's the family?
- Everybody's fine.
660
00:39:46,458 --> 00:39:48,750
- That's great.
- And you?
661
00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:50,125
Yeah, I'm doing great.
662
00:39:50,208 --> 00:39:54,291
We... We had our second a year ago.
663
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:55,750
We're separated...
664
00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:57,750
Oh no! How sad.
665
00:39:57,833 --> 00:39:59,541
No, calm down. It's super.
666
00:39:59,625 --> 00:40:02,458
It was the best thing
that could have happened to us.
667
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:04,583
- Okay.
- Yes.
668
00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:05,708
Yeah.
669
00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:08,708
But will you move back here, then?
670
00:40:08,791 --> 00:40:10,666
Yes, we're moving back here.
671
00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:13,208
- Right.
- Yes.
672
00:40:14,666 --> 00:40:15,500
Okay.
673
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,708
But hey, maybe we'll see each other later.
674
00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:20,166
Yes, or we could have
675
00:40:21,791 --> 00:40:24,958
a cup of coffee together, if you like?
676
00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:51,125
- Oh, hello. Hi.
- Hi.
677
00:40:52,166 --> 00:40:53,458
- Okay.
- Hello.
678
00:40:53,958 --> 00:40:55,583
- There you are.
- I...
679
00:40:57,208 --> 00:40:58,041
Whoops!
680
00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:05,125
{\an8}PAIR BONDING PATTERNS
681
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:06,791
The results from a study
682
00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:09,375
showed that prairie voles,
683
00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:11,666
just like rats and hens,
684
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:17,375
{\an8}are motivated to bond with their partner
during the mating phase
685
00:41:17,458 --> 00:41:20,166
{\an8}because of increased dopamine levels.
686
00:41:20,250 --> 00:41:23,833
But if you give them a dopamine blocker,
687
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:27,833
they no longer preferred
the partner they mated with.
688
00:41:27,916 --> 00:41:30,833
But if they were given dopamine,
689
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:33,583
they preferred any partner.
690
00:41:33,666 --> 00:41:38,583
{\an8}That reminds me of a study
that is pretty well-known.
691
00:41:38,666 --> 00:41:44,041
{\an8}It is about T-shirts
that women get to smell,
692
00:41:44,125 --> 00:41:47,208
full of sweat from men.
693
00:41:47,291 --> 00:41:51,500
They preferred some over others.
694
00:41:51,583 --> 00:41:53,625
And those T-shirts
695
00:41:53,708 --> 00:41:55,791
had a gene variant
696
00:41:55,875 --> 00:42:00,000
that was very different
from the woman's own variant,
697
00:42:00,833 --> 00:42:02,958
when it comes to the immune system.
698
00:42:03,041 --> 00:42:04,125
That is important.
699
00:42:04,208 --> 00:42:09,000
Women who had a partner
with the same kind of gene variants,
700
00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:10,708
the others were different,
701
00:42:10,791 --> 00:42:13,791
but this was the same variants
as they themselves had...
702
00:42:13,875 --> 00:42:19,208
Those women were more often
deceived by their partners.
703
00:42:19,291 --> 00:42:23,625
They got to experience
more unfaithfulness.
704
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:26,333
I find that fascinating.
705
00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:32,416
{\an8}We did a study with 552 male twins
living in relationships.
706
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:35,583
We found that the ones
carrying one or more gene variants
707
00:42:35,666 --> 00:42:37,333
in the attachment system,
708
00:42:37,416 --> 00:42:39,916
they were lacking,
or having a problem with
709
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,333
bonding with their partners.
710
00:42:42,416 --> 00:42:44,083
But when it comes to women,
711
00:42:44,166 --> 00:42:49,541
since they lack those alleles
in the attachment system,
712
00:42:49,625 --> 00:42:54,125
we instead studied the DRD4-gene,
713
00:42:54,208 --> 00:42:59,958
or allele, also known as
the kick-seeking dopamine gene.
714
00:43:00,041 --> 00:43:03,250
And we found that
the ones with this variant
715
00:43:03,333 --> 00:43:06,458
also had a higher frequency
of one-night stands
716
00:43:06,541 --> 00:43:08,083
and fantasies of infidelity.
717
00:43:08,833 --> 00:43:13,000
So both of the systems seem
to contribute to patterns of infidelity.
718
00:43:28,666 --> 00:43:31,375
Björn! They're here in a couple of hours.
719
00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:33,375
Can you join us?
720
00:44:09,458 --> 00:44:13,791
Yes, and that leads
to a very important question.
721
00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:18,250
Is monogamy based
on inheritance or environment?
722
00:44:23,166 --> 00:44:25,958
Teresa, are you sitting here?
723
00:44:26,041 --> 00:44:28,375
- Do you want some more wine?
- Yes, please.
724
00:44:28,458 --> 00:44:30,666
- Björn, can you set the table?
- Not now.
725
00:44:30,750 --> 00:44:33,250
I have to serve
our guest of honor some wine.
726
00:44:33,333 --> 00:44:34,166
Yes.
727
00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:36,041
Where is Dad?
728
00:44:36,791 --> 00:44:37,958
You know what he's like.
729
00:44:39,625 --> 00:44:43,833
He's lying on the couch watching us
while we do the dirty work.
730
00:44:44,458 --> 00:44:46,625
We have to excuse Jon.
731
00:44:46,708 --> 00:44:49,333
It's too much for him with so many people.
732
00:44:49,416 --> 00:44:51,125
Oh, it looks lovely, Frida.
733
00:44:51,208 --> 00:44:54,833
You make Mommy proud
by sticking to our tradition.
734
00:44:54,916 --> 00:44:56,250
What tradition?
735
00:44:56,333 --> 00:44:59,166
Sweetheart, don't you remember?
736
00:44:59,250 --> 00:45:02,833
No, of course not.
You were so little back then.
737
00:45:02,916 --> 00:45:05,916
But I had to keep my mother-in-law happy
738
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,416
and struggle with
that darn French duck every Christmas.
739
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:12,500
- Mom, we never had duck in Norway.
- No, we didn't.
740
00:45:12,583 --> 00:45:16,458
Don't be ridiculous, Joanna.
I remember what I did and didn't do.
741
00:45:16,541 --> 00:45:17,875
Why would you say that?
742
00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:21,041
Okay, take it easy.
We just can't remember the duck.
743
00:45:21,125 --> 00:45:22,708
That's great.
744
00:45:22,791 --> 00:45:26,000
- That's great.
- It sounds wonderful, Teresa.
745
00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:30,083
But I remember something
about a duck the year your dad died.
746
00:45:30,166 --> 00:45:31,666
- That's right.
- Exactly.
747
00:45:31,750 --> 00:45:33,625
Did someone die, or what?
748
00:45:34,708 --> 00:45:37,125
Maybe you should help set the table, Jon.
749
00:45:37,208 --> 00:45:38,291
Yes.
750
00:45:38,375 --> 00:45:40,750
This one is wonderful, Frida.
751
00:45:40,833 --> 00:45:43,416
- We're going to try it, you and I.
- Yes, we are.
752
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,875
Marianne, would you like a glass?
753
00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:48,750
But Teresa, you're right.
754
00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:53,458
It was the Christmas when we had
the entire French side of the family over.
755
00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:54,666
Yes, that's right,
756
00:45:54,750 --> 00:45:58,000
and that wasn't the only time,
just to let you know.
757
00:45:58,083 --> 00:45:59,750
Okay, Mom. It doesn't matter.
758
00:45:59,833 --> 00:46:02,666
But hey, I thought I heard Louie shout.
759
00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:04,958
- Could you check on the kids?
- Sure.
760
00:46:05,041 --> 00:46:06,333
Thank you.
761
00:46:06,416 --> 00:46:09,250
And I was the one who cooked the duck.
762
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:12,666
And now I've done it again. Voilà!
763
00:46:12,750 --> 00:46:16,166
- Bravo.
- Dinner is served in two hours. Okay?
764
00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:17,833
Wow.
765
00:46:17,916 --> 00:46:19,958
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
766
00:46:20,041 --> 00:46:22,958
- And merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!
767
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:25,291
Yes, and finally,
we performed a study on a group of women.
768
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:31,541
We gave half of them a nasal spray
containing the cuddle hormone, oxytocin.
769
00:47:31,625 --> 00:47:33,541
And the other half
770
00:47:33,625 --> 00:47:35,166
received a placebo spray,
771
00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:37,708
that is, a spray without any effect.
772
00:47:37,791 --> 00:47:41,958
And it turned out that the women
who received the oxytocin spray
773
00:47:42,041 --> 00:47:44,875
were more likely to bond
774
00:47:44,958 --> 00:47:47,416
than the ones who didn't get it.
775
00:47:47,500 --> 00:47:53,250
So to conclude,
I would claim that human monogamy
776
00:47:53,333 --> 00:47:54,500
and infidelity,
777
00:47:54,583 --> 00:47:56,791
just like with the voles,
778
00:47:56,875 --> 00:48:00,291
to a large extent
depends on our genetic make-up.
779
00:48:01,166 --> 00:48:05,708
Yes, a minor hormonal adjustment
could change a lot in our world,
780
00:48:05,791 --> 00:48:08,458
both at the micro and the macro level.
781
00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:39,208
I really thought that we were going to
be able to work through this.
782
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:45,125
But does it have to be so definitive?
783
00:48:49,416 --> 00:48:51,416
I really hope not.
784
00:49:13,041 --> 00:49:14,583
What the hell was that?
785
00:49:26,541 --> 00:49:28,500
There you are, you fucking cunt!
786
00:49:30,458 --> 00:49:31,875
And you, fucking...
787
00:49:31,958 --> 00:49:36,625
Your disgusting girlfriends...
You know what? Burn in hell!
788
00:49:36,708 --> 00:49:39,833
Fucking cunts. I hate you!
789
00:49:43,958 --> 00:49:46,250
I don't want this car!
790
00:49:46,333 --> 00:49:48,750
I don't want that flat!
791
00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:51,500
I don't want anything from you!
792
00:49:51,583 --> 00:49:53,166
Get that?
793
00:49:53,250 --> 00:49:55,166
Do you get what you've done?
794
00:49:55,250 --> 00:49:57,708
Were you thinking about the kids?
795
00:49:57,791 --> 00:50:00,375
Were you thinking at all about the kids
796
00:50:00,458 --> 00:50:05,291
when you spread your legs
like some fucking slut all over town?
797
00:50:05,916 --> 00:50:08,708
Fuck you! Go home to Norway.
798
00:50:08,791 --> 00:50:10,083
Do me that favor.
799
00:50:10,166 --> 00:50:11,791
Are you insane?
800
00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,750
What's wrong with you, you fucking psycho?
801
00:50:14,833 --> 00:50:18,416
Don't you think I know
about your fucking text messages?
802
00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:20,375
Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?
803
00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:25,000
Don't you think I know what you've done?
I know everything, fucking hypocrite!
804
00:50:25,083 --> 00:50:27,375
You're just as complicit!
805
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:30,708
You are. It's just as much your fault!
806
00:50:30,791 --> 00:50:33,666
And don't try to make this about the kids.
807
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:36,583
Because it's about you, fucking dick,
808
00:50:36,666 --> 00:50:38,833
and about how bloody selfish you are!
809
00:50:38,916 --> 00:50:43,416
You're up your own fucking asshole,
that's what you are.
810
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:45,750
Yes, I slept with him!
811
00:50:45,833 --> 00:50:47,625
Who the hell cares?
812
00:50:47,708 --> 00:50:49,333
Who the hell cares about that?
813
00:50:49,416 --> 00:50:53,208
I wanted to be with you!
It was you I wanted.
814
00:50:53,291 --> 00:50:55,416
But you ignored our family.
815
00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:57,833
You ignored me!
816
00:50:57,916 --> 00:51:00,500
Because you are a fucking dickhead!
817
00:51:00,583 --> 00:51:03,625
So fuck you!
818
00:51:03,708 --> 00:51:05,583
Go to hell!
819
00:51:20,875 --> 00:51:23,666
BEER
RESTAURANT
820
00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:27,541
This isn't very smart, bro.
821
00:51:28,583 --> 00:51:32,666
This won't look good
if you want to push the custody thing.
822
00:51:32,750 --> 00:51:36,416
I mean, you have to get a grip.
Get your life under control.
823
00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:37,541
Like hell I will.
824
00:51:37,625 --> 00:51:39,916
I don't give a shit how it looks.
825
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,333
She has ruined everything.
She's destroyed my life.
826
00:51:43,416 --> 00:51:47,041
- I hate her.
- No, I don't think you hate her.
827
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:50,916
Anyway, you can't walk around
moping like this the whole time.
828
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,000
- Yes, I can.
- No.
829
00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:55,791
- Can too. I'm sitting here.
- No, you can't.
830
00:51:55,875 --> 00:51:58,000
- It's easy to mope.
- It's been months...
831
00:51:58,083 --> 00:51:59,666
Hi! How are you doing?
832
00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,291
- Hi.
- Long time, no see.
833
00:52:01,375 --> 00:52:03,916
- Good to see you. How are you?
- Good.
834
00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:07,208
I quit drinking a while back,
835
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:10,083
but it got so fucking boring
that I started again.
836
00:52:10,666 --> 00:52:12,708
But Oliver is good, Linda is good.
837
00:52:12,791 --> 00:52:14,416
We're still separated,
838
00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:16,875
but she's easy to get along with, so...
839
00:52:16,958 --> 00:52:18,708
- Right.
- Yep. And you?
840
00:52:20,166 --> 00:52:21,916
- Yeah, it's...
- Well...
841
00:52:22,750 --> 00:52:26,833
We're celebrating
that Björn got rid of his car today.
842
00:52:26,916 --> 00:52:28,083
- You sold it?
- What?
843
00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:31,666
No, I didn't sell it, I...
844
00:52:32,500 --> 00:52:38,583
took the keys and crashed it into
a house on the street where we live.
845
00:52:39,666 --> 00:52:42,208
- Really? Is that true?
- Yeah, just now.
846
00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:46,500
Wow, okay. Let's toast to that. Excuse me?
847
00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:48,541
Three Golden Slammers, please?
848
00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:52,750
- So now she doesn't have a car.
- There's a thing.
849
00:52:52,833 --> 00:52:56,666
Yeah, so now I'm a dad every other week
at home with the kids,
850
00:52:56,750 --> 00:53:00,083
and every other week
I sleep on Martin's couch.
851
00:53:00,791 --> 00:53:03,916
- So you're doing birdnesting?
- That's what she wanted.
852
00:53:04,583 --> 00:53:05,583
Bird nest?
853
00:53:05,666 --> 00:53:07,000
Yeah, well...
854
00:53:07,583 --> 00:53:10,208
The kids stay,
the parents move in and out.
855
00:53:10,291 --> 00:53:13,750
I see.
People didn't do that when I separated.
856
00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:15,833
Linda and I did it in the beginning.
857
00:53:15,916 --> 00:53:19,625
It might be good for the kids,
but it's goddamn horrible. Horrible!
858
00:53:19,708 --> 00:53:22,125
Yeah, incredibly tough.
859
00:53:22,791 --> 00:53:25,916
- But, are you looking for a flat?
- Yeah.
860
00:53:27,125 --> 00:53:28,041
Yeah, sure.
861
00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:32,375
I will not live in the same house
as that fucking bitch.
862
00:53:32,458 --> 00:53:34,583
I promise you. I'll find something.
863
00:53:34,666 --> 00:53:38,458
My sister is moving in with her boyfriend
and has to rent out her flat.
864
00:53:38,541 --> 00:53:41,541
- Really?
- It's small, in town. Yeah.
865
00:53:42,041 --> 00:53:46,166
Really nice, ordinary.
Cheap, you know. Interested?
866
00:53:46,250 --> 00:53:47,083
Yeah.
867
00:53:47,166 --> 00:53:48,541
- I'll check it out.
- Sure.
868
00:53:49,416 --> 00:53:50,708
- All right.
- Cool.
869
00:53:50,791 --> 00:53:52,916
- Cheers, then.
- Cheers.
870
00:53:57,291 --> 00:53:58,375
Whatever.
871
00:54:00,416 --> 00:54:01,625
Okay, honey.
872
00:54:02,875 --> 00:54:06,750
- Mom, are you picking me up today?
- No, it's Dad's turn.
873
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:08,333
Remember?
874
00:54:08,416 --> 00:54:11,541
But I'll miss you.
875
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:14,958
Ah, honey.
876
00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:18,208
I'll miss you too.
877
00:54:18,291 --> 00:54:19,125
Okay?
878
00:54:19,708 --> 00:54:21,250
I'll miss you too.
879
00:54:24,041 --> 00:54:25,083
You know what?
880
00:54:25,916 --> 00:54:28,125
It's good to miss me, you know?
881
00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:30,375
It's good.
882
00:54:30,458 --> 00:54:34,500
Otherwise, it wouldn't be
so great to see each other again.
883
00:54:34,583 --> 00:54:35,583
No.
884
00:54:35,666 --> 00:54:37,541
So it's good that you miss me.
885
00:54:42,375 --> 00:54:43,208
Okay.
886
00:54:46,541 --> 00:54:47,416
Okay?
887
00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:53,416
Look what I have. Here.
888
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:55,958
Ta-da!
889
00:54:57,666 --> 00:55:00,375
Always have a piece of chocolate
in your jacket pocket.
890
00:55:00,458 --> 00:55:01,625
Yeah.
891
00:55:01,708 --> 00:55:02,750
Mommy loves you.
892
00:55:03,375 --> 00:55:04,208
Okay?
893
00:55:07,291 --> 00:55:08,333
Shall we go in?
894
00:55:09,041 --> 00:55:10,125
Yes, come on.
895
00:55:25,541 --> 00:55:27,875
And he doesn't see how it affects them.
896
00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:34,333
He wants to punish me, but right now,
it's the children he is hurting.
897
00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:39,291
And he's serious about going to court.
898
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:44,708
He doesn't care if the kids
have to be evaluated by a psychiatrist.
899
00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:51,833
I can't even think about
how traumatic that would be for them.
900
00:55:53,833 --> 00:55:56,166
That must be really hard for you.
901
00:55:57,958 --> 00:55:59,666
I know that I was the one who...
902
00:56:00,583 --> 00:56:02,833
That I was the one who started it all.
903
00:56:05,208 --> 00:56:06,750
And I have to live with that.
904
00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:09,541
But I hoped that he would...
905
00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:11,375
that he would wake up...
906
00:56:13,250 --> 00:56:14,291
So that we could
907
00:56:15,333 --> 00:56:17,375
work on our problems
908
00:56:18,958 --> 00:56:21,000
and everything would be good again.
909
00:56:22,375 --> 00:56:28,208
So you felt that
he didn't communicate and wasn't attentive
910
00:56:28,291 --> 00:56:32,625
even before you separated?
That he was shirking responsibility?
911
00:56:33,291 --> 00:56:36,375
- Is that right?
- He didn't want to engage.
912
00:56:36,458 --> 00:56:40,166
And what would happen
if he didn't deal with things?
913
00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:46,708
It feels like you're worried
914
00:56:46,791 --> 00:56:49,500
that something might happen
if he didn't act.
915
00:56:50,208 --> 00:56:52,958
I don't know if anything would happen,
916
00:56:53,541 --> 00:56:56,041
or if the thing was that nothing happened.
917
00:56:57,041 --> 00:56:58,708
That we stagnated and...
918
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:02,583
Yeah, that we were over.
919
00:57:03,166 --> 00:57:05,125
You were afraid of losing him.
920
00:57:10,083 --> 00:57:13,250
And I felt like I had already lost
921
00:57:14,458 --> 00:57:16,708
both myself and him.
922
00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:21,791
And so then I hoped that he would
923
00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:23,958
see that.
924
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,625
Or see me, kind of.
925
00:57:33,416 --> 00:57:35,833
And work on us instead of running away.
926
00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:40,625
In a way, you ran away first.
927
00:57:46,833 --> 00:57:49,166
Frida, let's separate things out a bit.
928
00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:52,208
It wasn't part of his personality
929
00:57:52,291 --> 00:57:54,833
to deal with things
in the same way you did,
930
00:57:54,916 --> 00:57:57,083
even before you separated.
931
00:57:57,666 --> 00:58:00,666
That's the way he was then,
and that's the way he is now.
932
00:58:01,875 --> 00:58:03,541
You can't do anything about that.
933
00:58:03,625 --> 00:58:06,875
Only he himself can change that,
if he wants to.
934
00:58:07,375 --> 00:58:09,875
It's not your job.
It's not your responsibility.
935
00:58:09,958 --> 00:58:12,875
You have no control over that.
936
00:58:13,625 --> 00:58:15,333
And the same is true for you.
937
00:58:16,250 --> 00:58:17,916
Now you've separated,
938
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,541
and he doesn't want to have any contact.
939
00:58:20,625 --> 00:58:22,125
You need to accept that
940
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:25,000
and learn to handle the situation,
941
00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:27,458
instead of waiting for him to change
942
00:58:27,541 --> 00:58:31,250
or be in constant conflict with him.
943
00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:38,833
And this isn't about
if somebody loves or not.
944
00:58:40,041 --> 00:58:41,250
That's who he is.
945
00:58:42,791 --> 00:58:45,833
He is very different from you.
946
00:58:47,333 --> 00:58:49,000
Okay, come here.
947
00:58:50,333 --> 00:58:52,500
You can dance more when we get home.
948
00:58:53,458 --> 00:58:55,583
And switch... No, you can't hold the monkey.
949
00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:58,208
- Yes.
- No, Lou... Don't do that.
950
00:58:58,291 --> 00:59:00,458
It'll just get silly.
951
00:59:00,541 --> 00:59:02,708
Good, let's see. Come on.
952
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,416
- Stop it.
- Ow, Daddy. That hurt!
953
00:59:07,500 --> 00:59:10,291
- Okay, sorry.
- No, I want Mommy!
954
00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:12,541
- But...
- No, don't touch me!
955
00:59:12,625 --> 00:59:15,708
- I have to touch you.
- Don't touch me! No!
956
00:59:15,791 --> 00:59:17,833
Honey, Louie...
957
00:59:17,916 --> 00:59:20,833
- I don't want to!
- No, but Anna is picking up Leo.
958
00:59:20,916 --> 00:59:23,333
We have to hurry home to them. We can't...
959
00:59:23,416 --> 00:59:25,083
I'm doing my best, damn it.
960
00:59:25,166 --> 00:59:26,750
Can't you give it a rest?
961
00:59:26,833 --> 00:59:28,416
- Please?
- I don't want to!
962
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:29,458
Hello, Björn.
963
00:59:29,958 --> 00:59:31,500
Right? Hello.
964
00:59:31,583 --> 00:59:33,458
There. Okay, we'll leave it.
965
00:59:34,291 --> 00:59:37,625
We took a long walk today,
so she's probably a bit tired.
966
00:59:39,041 --> 00:59:39,875
Okay.
967
00:59:40,583 --> 00:59:41,500
It's like that.
968
00:59:41,583 --> 00:59:43,833
Let's go. You'll have to be cold then.
969
00:59:45,666 --> 00:59:47,125
Can we...? Let's go.
970
00:59:47,208 --> 00:59:48,666
Don't forget your bag.
971
00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,500
No.
972
00:59:51,333 --> 00:59:53,666
Here's your... There's my bag, damn it.
973
00:59:58,791 --> 01:00:00,041
Thank you for today.
974
01:00:00,125 --> 01:00:01,208
See you tomorrow.
975
01:00:01,833 --> 01:00:03,541
- See you tomorrow.
- Thank you.
976
01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:04,708
Thank you.
977
01:00:05,208 --> 01:00:06,875
Thanks for being here.
978
01:00:06,958 --> 01:00:09,500
I was nervous, but it's just furniture.
979
01:00:09,583 --> 01:00:12,000
It'll be fine. He's probably been nice.
980
01:00:12,083 --> 01:00:14,583
I mean, you own half of it.
981
01:01:05,083 --> 01:01:06,416
What do I tell the kids?
982
01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:09,333
What do you say?
983
01:01:11,291 --> 01:01:12,291
I don't know.
984
01:01:16,083 --> 01:01:17,583
I'm really trying.
985
01:01:17,666 --> 01:01:20,708
- I'm trying to do everything right.
- I know.
986
01:01:20,791 --> 01:01:23,500
It's our fucking duty to the kids.
987
01:01:24,875 --> 01:01:28,791
And he's just pissing on me.
He pisses on me every chance he gets.
988
01:01:28,875 --> 01:01:30,541
Because he's a fucking dick.
989
01:01:33,625 --> 01:01:35,625
I don't know why he's doing this.
990
01:01:38,583 --> 01:01:41,958
Okay? I'll get you some coffee.
You need some coffee.
991
01:01:44,666 --> 01:01:46,458
But he's taken my kettle.
992
01:01:47,375 --> 01:01:49,583
I can't even make a fucking cup of coffee.
993
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:51,458
And I got it.
994
01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:56,416
I got it from his mother
as a birthday present. You see?
995
01:01:57,875 --> 01:02:02,833
Okay, then I'll boil water
in a pot on the stove.
996
01:02:04,708 --> 01:02:05,625
Hey.
997
01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:09,125
You don't have to make a perfect home.
998
01:02:09,208 --> 01:02:11,125
There are no perfect homes
999
01:02:11,208 --> 01:02:13,416
and the kids will adapt.
1000
01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:17,583
Buy an air mattress.
1001
01:02:18,208 --> 01:02:19,333
Build a fort.
1002
01:02:19,416 --> 01:02:20,666
It'll be all right.
1003
01:02:26,500 --> 01:02:29,416
Mommy, come and jump!
1004
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:30,500
Mommy, come on!
1005
01:02:30,583 --> 01:02:34,500
No, I don't think I'm allowed.
The bed will break.
1006
01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:35,958
- No.
- Stop.
1007
01:02:36,041 --> 01:02:39,083
- Read the sign. They want you to jump.
- Please, come on.
1008
01:02:39,166 --> 01:02:41,375
Come on, it won't break.
1009
01:02:41,458 --> 01:02:42,708
- Come here.
- Come on.
1010
01:02:42,791 --> 01:02:44,958
Come on, come on.
1011
01:02:45,041 --> 01:02:47,000
Up you get. You can do it.
1012
01:02:47,083 --> 01:02:48,666
It won't break.
1013
01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:50,041
- We promise.
- Come here.
1014
01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:42,708
She fits in very well
with the rest of the kids
1015
01:03:42,791 --> 01:03:44,833
and gets along with most of them.
1016
01:03:46,166 --> 01:03:50,291
She is popular
and radiates a lovely energy.
1017
01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:53,000
In general, we see no problems with Louie.
1018
01:03:53,083 --> 01:03:54,041
None whatsoever.
1019
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,000
That's fantastic to hear.
1020
01:03:57,083 --> 01:03:58,166
Well, we are,
1021
01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:01,666
or I am, always worried that she doesn't
1022
01:04:02,625 --> 01:04:04,000
express herself well
1023
01:04:04,083 --> 01:04:07,291
or communicate with others.
1024
01:04:07,375 --> 01:04:11,875
So yeah, that's really
such a relief to hear.
1025
01:04:11,958 --> 01:04:16,041
Yes, as you know, Frida chose
to split our family a while ago,
1026
01:04:16,125 --> 01:04:18,458
and it's been damn hard.
1027
01:04:18,958 --> 01:04:24,291
And the kids are very miserable,
traumatized.
1028
01:04:24,375 --> 01:04:27,541
It's no fun and games at home, but it's...
1029
01:04:27,625 --> 01:04:31,375
How do you put it? That's what happens
when one person in a family
1030
01:04:31,458 --> 01:04:34,875
chooses to think about their own needs,
isn't that right?
1031
01:04:37,166 --> 01:04:41,416
Well, of course, we're used
to these types of situations.
1032
01:04:41,958 --> 01:04:46,791
And the majority of the kids here
live in modern family constellations.
1033
01:04:46,875 --> 01:04:50,250
And that doesn't have to mean
trauma for the kids, per se.
1034
01:04:50,333 --> 01:04:54,250
As long as the parents can work together.
1035
01:04:54,333 --> 01:04:57,166
As Mona said,
1036
01:04:57,250 --> 01:05:00,875
Louie is fine and expresses herself well.
1037
01:05:02,166 --> 01:05:04,916
As long as the kids are extroverted,
1038
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,416
it's a good sign.
1039
01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:10,208
It's when they get quiet
that we get worried.
1040
01:05:10,291 --> 01:05:14,125
Acting out is both normal and healthy.
1041
01:05:14,708 --> 01:05:18,750
So if Louie gets sad or angry
during this period,
1042
01:05:18,833 --> 01:05:20,458
that's totally okay.
1043
01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:23,583
And as Bo said, we are all in agreement
1044
01:05:23,666 --> 01:05:26,500
that she is doing great.
1045
01:05:26,583 --> 01:05:27,541
Thank you.
1046
01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:30,375
Yeah, and tell us if anything changes,
1047
01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:33,916
or if there's something
that we should focus on.
1048
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:37,833
Well, I don't want to communicate
with this person, so we could...
1049
01:05:37,916 --> 01:05:41,750
If we could stay in contact separately,
that would be great.
1050
01:05:42,916 --> 01:05:44,750
- Absolutely.
- Of course.
1051
01:05:44,833 --> 01:05:47,166
We'll let you know of any concerns.
1052
01:05:47,250 --> 01:05:49,666
And you can always grab us, if...
1053
01:05:50,583 --> 01:05:53,791
If you have any thoughts or worries.
1054
01:05:53,875 --> 01:05:55,666
Great. Bye.
1055
01:05:55,750 --> 01:05:57,375
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mona.
1056
01:05:57,458 --> 01:05:58,500
- Bye.
- Bye.
1057
01:06:10,208 --> 01:06:11,083
Björn?
1058
01:06:11,166 --> 01:06:13,000
Björn. Please, wait.
1059
01:06:13,083 --> 01:06:15,625
Please, let's talk about this?
1060
01:06:15,708 --> 01:06:16,916
Can't we talk?
1061
01:06:18,125 --> 01:06:21,458
Please, Björn,
can't we stop this custody thing?
1062
01:06:21,541 --> 01:06:24,916
You should have thought of that
before you destroyed our family.
1063
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,666
No, I'm not stopping "the custody thing."
1064
01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:30,000
Please, Björn, we're in this together.
1065
01:06:30,083 --> 01:06:33,291
Do you want to subject the kids
to the damn psychology tests
1066
01:06:33,375 --> 01:06:36,000
just to prove you're right?
Is that what you want?
1067
01:06:37,208 --> 01:06:38,541
I apologize to you.
1068
01:06:39,291 --> 01:06:40,166
I do.
1069
01:06:40,666 --> 01:06:41,833
For real.
1070
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:45,250
- I'm sorry about... about everything.
- Okay.
1071
01:06:45,333 --> 01:06:46,791
- I am.
- Yeah...
1072
01:06:47,750 --> 01:06:49,791
But don't do this to the kids.
1073
01:06:49,875 --> 01:06:53,500
- They'll be scarred for life.
- Am I doing this to the kids?
1074
01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:56,291
You thought psychologists
was the answer to everything.
1075
01:06:56,375 --> 01:07:00,083
You're the one who scarred them
for life when you left us.
1076
01:07:00,166 --> 01:07:02,916
You were the one
who wanted a divorce, not me.
1077
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,125
And this isn't about your fucking needs,
1078
01:07:06,208 --> 01:07:10,000
or about the kids' needs, for that matter.
It's about my rights.
1079
01:07:10,083 --> 01:07:14,416
And I will have them,
as you're not a fit mother to my kids.
1080
01:07:14,500 --> 01:07:16,166
You are totally reckless.
1081
01:07:16,250 --> 01:07:18,333
You're destroying the kids' lives,
1082
01:07:18,416 --> 01:07:19,916
destroying the kids' dreams,
1083
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,541
destroying the kids' future,
1084
01:07:21,625 --> 01:07:23,250
so now we'll do this my way!
1085
01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:25,708
Come on, get a grip!
1086
01:07:25,791 --> 01:07:27,625
Björn, damn it!
1087
01:07:28,125 --> 01:07:29,875
None of us were happy!
1088
01:07:30,625 --> 01:07:31,791
We had a crisis
1089
01:07:31,875 --> 01:07:33,666
and you didn't admit that.
1090
01:07:33,750 --> 01:07:35,208
You couldn't talk about it.
1091
01:07:35,291 --> 01:07:38,458
That's such fucking bullshit,
and you know it.
1092
01:07:38,541 --> 01:07:40,833
You don't have to
talk everything to death.
1093
01:07:40,916 --> 01:07:44,000
Some things sort themselves out!
1094
01:07:44,083 --> 01:07:47,291
You wanted a divorce,
but you won't get your way anymore.
1095
01:07:47,375 --> 01:07:48,250
Enough is enough!
1096
01:07:48,333 --> 01:07:52,333
Did you see me dream about
some fucking backpacking trip in Asia?
1097
01:07:52,416 --> 01:07:55,458
No, because I was
too busy living our life, Björn!
1098
01:07:55,541 --> 01:07:58,541
I wanted to be in our life, Björn!
Do you get that?
1099
01:07:58,625 --> 01:08:01,875
And I didn't just suggest therapy.
I was open to anything.
1100
01:08:01,958 --> 01:08:04,708
A break, a threesome or whatever!
1101
01:08:04,791 --> 01:08:06,375
But you just didn't care!
1102
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:09,000
But you know what? We were unhappy!
1103
01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:12,875
Both of us. We were so fucking unhappy.
1104
01:08:12,958 --> 01:08:14,708
And you did nothing about it.
1105
01:08:14,791 --> 01:08:15,958
You did nothing!
1106
01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:21,166
I'm sure that's your explanation, Frida.
That's yours.
1107
01:08:21,250 --> 01:08:24,458
But if you want to hear mine,
it's a little different.
1108
01:08:24,541 --> 01:08:29,375
Because you wanted to be alone,
and now you'll get a taste of it.
1109
01:08:29,458 --> 01:08:32,333
You're not taking my kids!
They'll live with me!
1110
01:08:34,875 --> 01:08:37,541
But we're their parents, both of us.
1111
01:08:38,458 --> 01:08:40,666
They need us both.
1112
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:42,083
And then we have to...
1113
01:08:42,166 --> 01:08:45,125
We have to communicate.
This isn't communicating!
1114
01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:48,375
No, exactly.
I don't want to communicate with you!
1115
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,125
Are you stupid?
1116
01:08:50,916 --> 01:08:52,875
I don't want to communicate with you.
1117
01:08:52,958 --> 01:08:56,958
And there'll be no hippie Christmas.
This is what's going to happen.
1118
01:08:57,041 --> 01:09:02,291
I'll take the kids to my parents
and you can have them New Year's Eve.
1119
01:09:05,833 --> 01:09:07,166
End of discussion.
1120
01:09:53,750 --> 01:09:55,583
Hello, and welcome.
1121
01:09:57,625 --> 01:09:58,958
Aren't you coming up?
1122
01:10:01,541 --> 01:10:03,625
The kids have to get their presents.
1123
01:10:04,625 --> 01:10:06,625
I thought we'd have coffee.
1124
01:10:11,833 --> 01:10:12,666
Yes.
1125
01:10:40,291 --> 01:10:42,083
Hello, my honeys!
1126
01:10:42,166 --> 01:10:43,208
Hi, Mom.
1127
01:10:43,291 --> 01:10:45,000
You look so smart!
1128
01:10:45,833 --> 01:10:47,083
We're going to Grandma's.
1129
01:10:47,166 --> 01:10:50,083
- And we'll get a surprise.
- I know.
1130
01:10:50,166 --> 01:10:52,083
It's going to be so much fun!
1131
01:10:52,166 --> 01:10:54,291
Here you have some more surprises.
1132
01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:55,875
Some candy for the journey.
1133
01:10:55,958 --> 01:10:58,083
And Leo, your teddy. Here.
1134
01:10:58,166 --> 01:11:02,041
Okay, have the best Christmas ever.
1135
01:11:02,125 --> 01:11:04,125
And call me if you want something.
1136
01:11:04,208 --> 01:11:05,666
Or if you feel like it.
1137
01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:08,916
- What are you going to do?
- Won't you celebrate?
1138
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:11,500
Yes, for sure.
1139
01:11:11,583 --> 01:11:14,541
I have a lot of tests to grade.
1140
01:11:14,625 --> 01:11:17,000
And then I'll probably go
to Aunt Joanna's.
1141
01:11:17,083 --> 01:11:19,333
But first, I have to call Santa Claus,
1142
01:11:19,416 --> 01:11:21,625
so he has Grandma's address.
1143
01:11:22,125 --> 01:11:23,541
I think we have to go now.
1144
01:11:23,625 --> 01:11:25,083
But let's say goodbye.
1145
01:11:25,166 --> 01:11:28,291
You can't go without giving Mommy a kiss.
Come here.
1146
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,541
Love you, sweetie. Okay?
1147
01:11:30,625 --> 01:11:31,750
Give me a hug.
1148
01:11:33,250 --> 01:11:35,208
I love you. Love you.
1149
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,500
I love you so much.
1150
01:11:37,833 --> 01:11:39,625
- Okay?
- Bye, Mom.
1151
01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:40,916
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
1152
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,875
- I love you.
- I love you. Bye.
1153
01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:45,208
- Bye.
- Bye.
1154
01:11:47,541 --> 01:11:49,375
- Bye.
- Bye.
1155
01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:39,916
- Now it's a snake and now an elephant!
- No more magic, little Louie.
1156
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,541
- Take off the costume.
- I don't want to.
1157
01:12:42,625 --> 01:12:46,416
It's been a really cozy Christmas,
but it'll be too warm.
1158
01:12:46,500 --> 01:12:48,500
I want to show it to Mommy!
1159
01:12:49,375 --> 01:12:53,000
You can show it to Mommy
when you see her, okay
1160
01:12:53,083 --> 01:12:55,000
I want Mommy!
1161
01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:56,833
I want Mommy too.
1162
01:13:01,125 --> 01:13:02,208
Honey, come here.
1163
01:13:02,916 --> 01:13:05,500
Just like Mommy. Come and sit here.
1164
01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:06,416
There, there.
1165
01:13:07,833 --> 01:13:08,666
Come here.
1166
01:13:26,250 --> 01:13:30,750
{\an8}SEPARATION TRAUMA
1167
01:13:30,833 --> 01:13:32,333
Separation anxiety,
1168
01:13:33,125 --> 01:13:34,291
or depression.
1169
01:13:37,125 --> 01:13:40,125
It's comparable to drug withdrawal.
1170
01:13:42,333 --> 01:13:45,833
You even have a reduced immune defense.
1171
01:13:48,708 --> 01:13:52,875
If you were a man,
I could recommend a glass of wine or two.
1172
01:13:53,416 --> 01:13:56,458
But the female body's dopamine system
1173
01:13:56,541 --> 01:13:59,333
isn't triggered
by alcohol in the same way.
1174
01:13:59,875 --> 01:14:02,541
I could give you an oxytocin shot
1175
01:14:03,250 --> 01:14:05,625
in order to start your own dopamine flow.
1176
01:14:08,333 --> 01:14:10,375
Or antidepressants.
1177
01:14:13,041 --> 01:14:15,666
I think you have to get through this.
1178
01:14:16,333 --> 01:14:17,916
Try to look forward.
1179
01:14:20,166 --> 01:14:22,583
Do things that make you happy.
1180
01:14:25,750 --> 01:14:29,291
No, I'm not going to start using Tinder.
I won't do it.
1181
01:14:29,375 --> 01:14:31,541
I'd rather die than subject myself to...
1182
01:14:31,625 --> 01:14:33,083
So damned pretentious!
1183
01:14:33,166 --> 01:14:37,416
It's such a disgusting,
dehumanizing way to socialize.
1184
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:39,708
I mean, why...
1185
01:14:39,791 --> 01:14:44,125
Why don't we have
one of those SCRUFF apps?
1186
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:49,250
Just for sex
without having to talk and be bored
1187
01:14:49,333 --> 01:14:51,125
before you go to bed.
1188
01:14:51,208 --> 01:14:52,375
Isn't that wonderful?
1189
01:14:52,458 --> 01:14:55,375
Yes, because I'm done with the love thing.
1190
01:14:56,333 --> 01:14:58,125
Nothing would happen anyway,
1191
01:14:58,208 --> 01:15:01,375
if I shared my GPS coordinates
on some damn app.
1192
01:15:01,458 --> 01:15:04,000
Girl, it's 2021!
1193
01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:05,833
That's how Tinder works.
1194
01:15:05,916 --> 01:15:08,583
Imagine that you're at a buffet
and you're starving.
1195
01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:10,958
Now you can choose the tastiest bits.
1196
01:15:11,041 --> 01:15:13,750
You can get exactly what you want.
1197
01:15:13,833 --> 01:15:16,041
But who would want me?
1198
01:15:25,333 --> 01:15:29,333
There comes a time
when you have to move on.
1199
01:15:29,416 --> 01:15:33,625
So I went to therapy and looked inward.
1200
01:15:33,708 --> 01:15:36,083
So now I have...
1201
01:15:36,166 --> 01:15:38,583
It's over. That chapter is finished.
1202
01:15:39,541 --> 01:15:41,166
- Well done.
- Yeah.
1203
01:15:41,250 --> 01:15:42,791
- And it happened fast.
- Yeah.
1204
01:15:42,875 --> 01:15:45,541
Just half a year. You're awesome!
1205
01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:46,583
What?
1206
01:15:46,666 --> 01:15:48,291
We only live once.
1207
01:15:49,083 --> 01:15:52,958
I couldn't waste any more time
on figuring out why it wasn't working.
1208
01:15:53,041 --> 01:15:56,125
It wasn't working. And it's complicated.
1209
01:15:56,875 --> 01:15:58,458
Now it's over.
1210
01:15:58,541 --> 01:16:01,875
We've got routines and it's working.
1211
01:16:01,958 --> 01:16:03,000
No drama.
1212
01:16:03,750 --> 01:16:05,125
Time to live a little.
1213
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,958
I wish I could say the same.
1214
01:16:08,041 --> 01:16:08,958
Is it that bad?
1215
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:11,666
Yeah, but...
1216
01:16:11,750 --> 01:16:13,666
I cheated, so I asked for it.
1217
01:16:16,666 --> 01:16:19,333
It's usually
about something else, isn't it?
1218
01:16:19,416 --> 01:16:21,250
Believe me, I know.
1219
01:16:22,416 --> 01:16:24,083
- Didn't I tell you?
- No.
1220
01:16:26,125 --> 01:16:28,458
My ex met somebody else, and so...
1221
01:16:30,708 --> 01:16:32,291
That forced me to...
1222
01:16:35,291 --> 01:16:37,833
wonder if I could have done
something different.
1223
01:16:39,333 --> 01:16:42,000
There's two of you in a relationship.
1224
01:16:51,250 --> 01:16:54,041
That's also a way of looking at it.
1225
01:16:57,958 --> 01:16:59,416
Are you sad that it didn't work out?
1226
01:17:02,833 --> 01:17:05,791
Yeah, I am.
1227
01:17:11,833 --> 01:17:14,291
I could have done
a lot of things differently.
1228
01:17:16,333 --> 01:17:18,291
I could have been quicker
1229
01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:23,666
in communicating and addressing
what went wrong,
1230
01:17:23,750 --> 01:17:27,583
instead of subjecting us to what I did.
1231
01:17:29,791 --> 01:17:33,083
I think mostly it's that feeling
of betrayal which is hard.
1232
01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:36,333
And if you can't discuss it, then...
1233
01:17:37,833 --> 01:17:42,083
For us, it became an opening
to have a talk about whether
1234
01:17:43,666 --> 01:17:45,375
we'd be happier apart.
1235
01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:47,458
Yeah.
1236
01:17:48,708 --> 01:17:54,458
I don't think our relationship
could withstand that sort of honesty.
1237
01:17:57,541 --> 01:17:59,958
And that's why it's over.
1238
01:18:02,750 --> 01:18:05,000
That's not a relationship you want.
1239
01:18:12,958 --> 01:18:14,875
What kind of relationship do you want?
1240
01:18:28,291 --> 01:18:30,000
Okay, bye.
1241
01:18:30,083 --> 01:18:30,916
Bye.
1242
01:19:07,291 --> 01:19:09,208
- Can I take this off?
- Yeah.
1243
01:19:12,041 --> 01:19:13,250
I'll do it.
1244
01:19:52,458 --> 01:19:54,083
What the hell.
1245
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:55,958
Hang on.
1246
01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:57,666
- It's okay.
- Sorry.
1247
01:19:57,750 --> 01:20:00,250
- No.
- How annoying.
1248
01:20:00,833 --> 01:20:02,708
- Damn it.
- It doesn't matter.
1249
01:20:02,791 --> 01:20:04,500
Yeah, but what the hell.
1250
01:20:04,583 --> 01:20:06,500
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
1251
01:20:06,583 --> 01:20:07,416
It's okay.
1252
01:20:07,500 --> 01:20:08,416
This has never...
1253
01:20:11,500 --> 01:20:14,125
I'm really sorry. I'm super horny.
1254
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:18,000
It's never happened before. Never.
1255
01:20:18,500 --> 01:20:19,750
No, I get it.
1256
01:20:20,791 --> 01:20:22,916
We're also going through a divorce.
1257
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:24,125
I get it.
1258
01:20:25,291 --> 01:20:27,375
I see. Difficult?
1259
01:20:27,458 --> 01:20:31,541
No, it's not particularly difficult
at all, actually.
1260
01:20:31,625 --> 01:20:32,458
No?
1261
01:20:32,541 --> 01:20:36,125
I knew at the wedding
that it wouldn't be forever.
1262
01:20:41,750 --> 01:20:43,125
But you have kids.
1263
01:20:44,166 --> 01:20:45,791
Yeah, we do.
1264
01:20:46,958 --> 01:20:49,708
You have different relationships
for different needs.
1265
01:20:51,666 --> 01:20:56,541
He gave me a daughter,
I'm happy about that.
1266
01:21:05,500 --> 01:21:08,416
But don't fret about this.
1267
01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:11,500
It's really no big thing.
I've seen it a lot of times.
1268
01:21:12,541 --> 01:21:15,333
Take a blue pill if you need to.
1269
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,791
- Right?
- Yeah.
1270
01:21:17,875 --> 01:21:20,625
- It doesn't have to be that complicated.
- No, right.
1271
01:21:26,166 --> 01:21:28,500
But, hey...
1272
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:37,375
I'd love to.
1273
01:21:42,583 --> 01:21:43,875
Bye. Take care.
1274
01:21:46,791 --> 01:21:47,666
Bye.
1275
01:23:07,166 --> 01:23:11,208
SURVIVAL
1276
01:23:11,291 --> 01:23:13,416
So you lost the spark in life?
1277
01:23:13,500 --> 01:23:15,958
Yes, but I survived.
1278
01:23:18,041 --> 01:23:19,666
I tried to find somebody new.
1279
01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:23,083
I didn't want to live alone.
1280
01:23:23,833 --> 01:23:26,541
This isn't the best time of my life.
1281
01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:30,625
- No, definitely not.
- But I've stayed clear of drugs.
1282
01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:33,541
It's...
1283
01:23:34,208 --> 01:23:38,000
It's just that I don't know
how I'm going to get over it.
1284
01:23:40,625 --> 01:23:41,791
What's going on?
1285
01:23:42,583 --> 01:23:43,458
Well,
1286
01:23:44,208 --> 01:23:47,083
I joined a scientific study.
1287
01:23:47,166 --> 01:23:50,541
The scientists call it a forced swim test.
1288
01:23:50,625 --> 01:23:52,875
- That's what you see behind us.
- Interesting.
1289
01:23:53,541 --> 01:23:56,541
Voles who have gone through a separation,
1290
01:23:57,750 --> 01:23:58,916
they just sink.
1291
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:01,000
- Straight down.
- They just sink.
1292
01:24:01,083 --> 01:24:02,083
So they don't swim?
1293
01:24:02,166 --> 01:24:04,083
No, they just sink.
1294
01:24:04,166 --> 01:24:06,916
The others,
the ones who are in a relationship,
1295
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:08,291
they swim for dear life.
1296
01:24:08,375 --> 01:24:09,458
They keep going.
1297
01:24:10,583 --> 01:24:11,875
Keep swimming.
1298
01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:14,416
They have something to live for.
1299
01:24:15,375 --> 01:24:18,083
So the conclusion
is that relationships keep us alive.
1300
01:24:19,125 --> 01:24:21,375
That's why we seek duality.
1301
01:24:22,708 --> 01:24:24,000
Over and over again.
1302
01:24:28,125 --> 01:24:30,125
Over and over again.
1303
01:26:01,166 --> 01:26:02,083
Björn!
1304
01:26:02,916 --> 01:26:03,750
Hi!
1305
01:26:04,708 --> 01:26:05,541
Hi!
1306
01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:07,166
But...
1307
01:26:07,833 --> 01:26:09,250
- What's up?
- Hi.
1308
01:26:09,916 --> 01:26:11,041
- Hi.
- How are you?
1309
01:26:11,125 --> 01:26:13,166
Good, thanks. Good to see you.
1310
01:26:13,250 --> 01:26:14,833
Wow. Long time no see.
1311
01:26:14,916 --> 01:26:16,250
Definitely. What...
1312
01:26:16,750 --> 01:26:18,541
But what are you doing here?
1313
01:26:18,625 --> 01:26:20,375
We're meeting the principal.
1314
01:26:21,041 --> 01:26:24,791
Oliver isn't happy in his old school,
so he might transfer here.
1315
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:26,583
Okay, that's nice.
1316
01:26:27,250 --> 01:26:29,250
Leo's theater group has a show on...
1317
01:26:29,333 --> 01:26:30,583
- Really?
- Fun.
1318
01:26:30,666 --> 01:26:31,500
Yeah.
1319
01:26:32,875 --> 01:26:35,375
- It was really nice seeing you.
- Likewise.
1320
01:26:35,458 --> 01:26:38,750
I heard about the custody thing.
1321
01:26:38,833 --> 01:26:40,375
Great that's it's solved.
1322
01:26:40,458 --> 01:26:41,458
Yeah.
1323
01:26:41,541 --> 01:26:43,833
Well, I'm in therapy now.
1324
01:26:43,916 --> 01:26:44,791
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1325
01:26:45,791 --> 01:26:46,750
So that's good.
1326
01:26:47,708 --> 01:26:49,500
Awesome.
1327
01:26:50,416 --> 01:26:53,708
Not having
all that anxiety and bitterness...
1328
01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:55,666
- Yes.
- Fucking awesome.
1329
01:26:57,500 --> 01:27:00,583
I think that you just have to
make a decision, somehow.
1330
01:27:00,666 --> 01:27:04,125
About what you want
and there's no right and wrong, but...
1331
01:27:05,958 --> 01:27:07,541
- No.
- Just make a decision.
1332
01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:10,125
What? Are you...
1333
01:27:10,208 --> 01:27:11,291
Are you together again?
1334
01:27:11,375 --> 01:27:13,375
Sorry, I'm trying to...
1335
01:27:13,458 --> 01:27:16,083
We're not moving in together again...
1336
01:27:16,166 --> 01:27:17,000
No, never.
1337
01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:18,500
We're trying something new.
1338
01:27:18,583 --> 01:27:22,041
We have each other, but with more freedom.
1339
01:27:22,625 --> 01:27:24,375
Okay, good for you.
1340
01:27:24,458 --> 01:27:28,875
We're dating others, but together.
1341
01:27:30,083 --> 01:27:30,958
Yes.
1342
01:27:33,875 --> 01:27:36,125
Wow. Good. Congratulations.
1343
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:38,875
- Thank you.
- Are...
1344
01:27:40,791 --> 01:27:43,375
We have to go,
but it was very nice to see you.
1345
01:27:43,458 --> 01:27:45,666
Likewise. Okay, good luck.
1346
01:27:45,750 --> 01:27:46,958
- See you.
- Yeah, sure.
1347
01:27:47,041 --> 01:27:48,750
- Say hello.
- I will.
1348
01:27:59,375 --> 01:28:02,166
It's time to call in the animals.
1349
01:28:03,666 --> 01:28:04,625
Who are you?
1350
01:28:04,708 --> 01:28:07,666
I'm a rooster. Hear my song.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
1351
01:28:07,750 --> 01:28:10,958
I'm a hen. I lay eggs that you can eat.
1352
01:28:12,583 --> 01:28:14,125
Four voles.
1353
01:28:14,833 --> 01:28:18,000
- Who are you?
- I'm a unicorn.
1354
01:28:18,708 --> 01:28:19,875
Isn't it too much?
1355
01:28:19,958 --> 01:28:21,958
Aren't there too many of us?
1356
01:28:22,041 --> 01:28:23,375
We could remove one.
1357
01:28:43,333 --> 01:28:48,083
Look after the animals,
nature, and each other.
1358
01:29:03,750 --> 01:29:05,041
- Can you hold this?
- Yes.
1359
01:29:05,125 --> 01:29:06,833
- And mine too?
- Yes.
1360
01:29:06,916 --> 01:29:10,291
- Do you have Leo's jacket?
- I have the jacket, but no teddy.
1361
01:29:13,208 --> 01:29:16,750
- Hi, Christine! How are you?
- Hi, nice to see you.
1362
01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,250
How are you? Hello!
1363
01:29:18,333 --> 01:29:20,375
You know. How are you?
1364
01:29:22,250 --> 01:29:23,125
We?
1365
01:29:26,125 --> 01:29:28,208
Well, no... Oh, you mean...
1366
01:29:28,291 --> 01:29:29,166
We're good.
1367
01:29:29,250 --> 01:29:30,958
Divorced, happy, good.
1368
01:29:31,041 --> 01:29:32,500
Nice to be here.
1369
01:29:33,291 --> 01:29:36,375
I was looking
for my little cutie, so I'll...
1370
01:29:36,458 --> 01:29:37,583
- Go ahead.
- I'll see you.
1371
01:29:37,666 --> 01:29:39,625
- Yeah.
- Or...
1372
01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:44,625
Seriously.
1373
01:29:45,583 --> 01:29:46,458
The neighbor?
1374
01:29:48,583 --> 01:29:49,458
Yeah, but it was...
1375
01:29:49,958 --> 01:29:52,208
- It was comfortable, okay?
- Right.
1376
01:29:57,708 --> 01:30:00,625
Dad, we made a cake.
Can you have cake with us?
1377
01:30:00,708 --> 01:30:02,000
Yes, honey...
1378
01:30:02,083 --> 01:30:03,125
Please, Daddy?
1379
01:30:03,208 --> 01:30:04,666
Come on, Dad.
1380
01:30:04,750 --> 01:30:07,166
You'd better ask Mom if it's okay.
1381
01:30:07,250 --> 01:30:10,041
Please, Mommy.
You'd be the best Mommy in the world.
1382
01:30:10,125 --> 01:30:12,708
- Please, Mommy?
- I don't have anything in the fridge.
1383
01:30:12,791 --> 01:30:14,625
Can't Daddy have cake with us?
1384
01:30:14,708 --> 01:30:16,791
We're having leftovers...
1385
01:30:20,916 --> 01:30:23,833
But if you're okay
with having cake for dinner...
1386
01:30:24,833 --> 01:30:26,416
You have nothing in the fridge?
1387
01:30:26,916 --> 01:30:27,916
No.
1388
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:32,541
I'm trying to relax all the "musts."
1389
01:30:36,416 --> 01:30:37,250
Yes.
1390
01:30:40,208 --> 01:30:41,166
Ben's coming.
1391
01:30:42,750 --> 01:30:43,708
I see.
1392
01:30:45,375 --> 01:30:47,750
So if you want to bring Christine,
1393
01:30:48,791 --> 01:30:49,791
then do.
1394
01:30:51,666 --> 01:30:52,500
That's okay.
1395
01:30:58,958 --> 01:31:01,958
- Okay, let's do that. Cake for dinner.
- Yes!
1396
01:31:13,416 --> 01:31:15,250
Yes, it's confusing,
1397
01:31:15,333 --> 01:31:17,291
but the architecture of the brain
1398
01:31:17,375 --> 01:31:20,208
can give us clues
to our relationship problems,
1399
01:31:20,291 --> 01:31:23,208
through three inter-related brain systems,
1400
01:31:23,291 --> 01:31:27,083
that have evolved for pairing,
reproduction and parenting.
1401
01:31:27,166 --> 01:31:30,041
- Shall we crush the perfection?
- Yes!
1402
01:31:30,125 --> 01:31:30,958
Yes.
1403
01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:34,875
But these systems
aren't always directly connected.
1404
01:31:34,958 --> 01:31:37,416
It's possible to love a person,
1405
01:31:37,500 --> 01:31:39,083
be in love with somebody else,
1406
01:31:39,166 --> 01:31:41,416
and sexually attracted to a third,
1407
01:31:41,500 --> 01:31:43,583
all at the same time.
1408
01:31:43,666 --> 01:31:45,958
It might be a neurological explanation
1409
01:31:46,041 --> 01:31:49,541
for why Augustinian relationship norms,
1410
01:31:49,625 --> 01:31:51,500
don't work for everybody.
1411
01:31:51,583 --> 01:31:53,250
But despite all our differences,
1412
01:31:53,333 --> 01:31:56,958
we still judge ourselves
by old norms and standards,
1413
01:31:57,041 --> 01:32:01,958
maybe in an attempt
to find some order in the chaos of love.
1414
01:32:02,041 --> 01:32:05,208
That way, we can
both have our cake and eat it.
1415
01:32:06,875 --> 01:32:10,208
- What are you doing to our pet?
- I'm doing this.
1416
01:32:12,916 --> 01:32:14,125
What are you doing?
1417
01:32:14,208 --> 01:32:18,166
I don't understand
why we can't live together, all of us.
1418
01:32:18,250 --> 01:32:21,666
I need a place of my own too,
just like you kids have your own rooms.
1419
01:32:21,750 --> 01:32:23,750
But we grown-ups don't have that, right?
1420
01:32:25,541 --> 01:32:29,125
Yes, but I think
that it's much better like this,
1421
01:32:29,708 --> 01:32:31,833
because I hate moving back and forth.
1422
01:32:31,916 --> 01:32:34,875
Well, they were the ones who broke up,
1423
01:32:34,958 --> 01:32:37,708
so it's only fair that they
move back and forth, right?
1424
01:32:38,291 --> 01:32:40,875
But I still like having two homes.
1425
01:32:44,875 --> 01:32:47,875
Do you think
they'll get back together again,
1426
01:32:47,958 --> 01:32:49,583
like normal parents?
1427
01:32:51,708 --> 01:32:52,708
But Leo,
1428
01:32:52,791 --> 01:32:54,291
this is normal too.
1429
01:32:55,125 --> 01:32:58,458
I mean, half of your classmates
have parents who are divorced.
1430
01:32:59,250 --> 01:33:00,833
They just don't talk about it.
1431
01:33:02,291 --> 01:33:03,458
And, well,
1432
01:33:03,541 --> 01:33:08,750
I think they're together sometimes.
1433
01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:11,083
I mean, physically.
1434
01:33:15,500 --> 01:33:16,916
But Ben and Christine,
1435
01:33:17,583 --> 01:33:19,125
doesn't that make them sad?
1436
01:33:19,208 --> 01:33:23,583
No, before Ben and Christine
got involved with them, I think.
1437
01:33:24,458 --> 01:33:25,458
But I don't know.
1438
01:33:31,333 --> 01:33:33,500
Up on the roof?
It's too dangerous. Come down.
1439
01:33:35,041 --> 01:33:36,666
Okay, my little monkeys...
1440
01:33:37,875 --> 01:33:39,375
What are you giggling about?
1441
01:33:40,958 --> 01:33:43,250
Grown-ups, you're the monkeys.
1442
01:33:43,333 --> 01:33:44,291
Are we? Okay, yes.
1443
01:33:44,833 --> 01:33:48,291
That's probably right,
but now we're going to go in and be frogs.
1444
01:33:48,375 --> 01:33:49,583
Okay? Come on.
1445
01:33:51,666 --> 01:33:53,041
Let's start. Are you ready?
1446
01:33:53,125 --> 01:33:54,916
Let's sing "Little frogs".
1447
01:33:55,000 --> 01:34:01,083
The little frogs, the little frogs
Are funny to behold
1448
01:34:01,166 --> 01:34:05,208
The little frogs, the little frogs
Are funny to behold
1449
01:34:05,291 --> 01:34:09,166
No ears to be seen there
And tails are missing too
1450
01:34:09,250 --> 01:34:12,750
No ears to be seen there
And tails are missing too
1451
01:34:12,833 --> 01:34:16,208
Cro-ac-ac-ac, cro-ac-ac-ac
Croac-ac-ac-aca
1452
01:34:16,291 --> 01:34:18,666
So the question is...
1453
01:34:18,750 --> 01:34:22,416
Are we humans biological creatures
1454
01:34:22,500 --> 01:34:26,125
who live according to
our pre-programmed genes,
1455
01:34:26,625 --> 01:34:30,666
or does free will regulate everything
1456
01:34:30,750 --> 01:34:36,333
when we make detours
from the monogamous norm?
1457
01:34:36,833 --> 01:34:37,791
Yes.
1458
01:34:37,875 --> 01:34:40,000
No, or yes,
1459
01:34:40,083 --> 01:34:42,458
or maybe both.
1460
01:34:43,125 --> 01:34:47,708
We are both biological
and intellectual creatures,
1461
01:34:47,791 --> 01:34:51,666
imprinted by everything,
from religion to heredity and environment.
1462
01:34:52,666 --> 01:34:57,208
Regardless of sexual,
religious, and political orientation,
1463
01:34:57,291 --> 01:34:59,416
we humans are, after all,
1464
01:34:59,500 --> 01:35:03,750
a fantastic mix of biology and intellect.
1465
01:35:03,833 --> 01:35:06,625
And that is just human.
1466
01:35:06,708 --> 01:35:09,208
But the question remains:
1467
01:35:09,291 --> 01:35:12,166
How do you want to live your life?
1468
01:35:15,166 --> 01:35:17,500
That was all we had this week.
1469
01:35:17,583 --> 01:35:20,750
Next week in Late Night Diorama,
1470
01:35:20,833 --> 01:35:24,791
we'll keep examining human behavior
1471
01:35:24,875 --> 01:35:27,333
from different perspectives.
1472
01:35:27,416 --> 01:35:29,666
Next time, we will examine violence.
1473
01:35:29,750 --> 01:35:33,291
Is violence biological or taught?
1474
01:35:33,375 --> 01:35:35,333
Please join us then.
1475
01:35:35,416 --> 01:35:37,375
See you then, I hope.