1
00:00:20,208 --> 00:00:22,794
Mr. Burke,
you're saying you saw Spider-Man,

2
00:00:22,878 --> 00:00:26,590
with your own eyes,
destroying multiple power lines?

3
00:00:26,673 --> 00:00:30,177
<i>Well, technically,
he did destroy those power lines.</i>

4
00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:34,890
Well, there you have it, folks,
firsthand from an unimpeachable witness.

5
00:00:34,973 --> 00:00:37,601
<i>-Wait, I wasn't finished.
-I'm sorry?</i>

6
00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:39,436
<i>Spider-Man was stopping this guy</i>

7
00:00:39,519 --> 00:00:41,772
<i>who was absorbing
all the energy from the lines.</i>

8
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:43,065
Uh-huh.

9
00:00:43,148 --> 00:00:44,399
<i>Spider-Man stopped that dude,</i>

10
00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:46,735
<i>and then he spent the whole night
repairing the damage.</i>

11
00:00:46,818 --> 00:00:49,488
<i>I saw it all. It was amazing.</i>

12
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:52,282
We'll have to circle back
and confirm this, folks.

13
00:00:53,158 --> 00:00:55,077
Meantime, I'll speak with my producers

14
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,288
and see if we've checked
what's in Mr. Burke's thermos.

15
00:00:58,372 --> 00:01:02,834
We'll be right back after a brief word
from Daily Bugle Supplements.

16
00:01:02,918 --> 00:01:06,296
-The only other daily fix you need.
-[crew member] And we're out.

17
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:09,841
Okay, which one of you
former employees vetted that nut job?

18
00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:25,023
From local street hooligan
to international terrorist.

19
00:01:25,107 --> 00:01:28,819
Help, the higher you fly,
the harder you fall.

20
00:01:45,252 --> 00:01:49,631
Incredibly, this shocking revelation
brought to light by yours truly

21
00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:54,052
has only raised more questions
about the secret life of Peter Parker,

22
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:59,266
aka Spider-Man, aka the Spider-Menace.

23
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:05,147
But rest assured, dear viewers,
we here at The <i>Daily Bugle</i> will not rest

24
00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:08,483
until we've uncovered the truth
behind his web of lies.

25
00:02:09,025 --> 00:02:10,694
I'm J. Jonah Jameson.

26
00:02:10,777 --> 00:02:13,447
Good night, and God help us all.

27
00:02:35,385 --> 00:02:36,678
What's up, Flash Mob?

28
00:02:37,179 --> 00:02:40,182
Uh, I'm here coming at you
and I wanna say thank you

29
00:02:40,265 --> 00:02:42,017
to everyone who's preordered
the book already.

30
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,811
You guys are crushing these preorders.
I appreciate it.

31
00:02:44,895 --> 00:02:48,231
But now, if you want
a copy of the book early,

32
00:02:48,315 --> 00:02:51,777
tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.,
here at Midtown High,

33
00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,863
you can come and get
your own signed copy by yours truly.

34
00:02:54,946 --> 00:02:56,907
So stop on by. I'd love to meet you all.

35
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,158
[kisses]

36
00:02:58,241 --> 00:03:02,204
I wouldn't let this kid near a dog park,
let alone a public school.

37
00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:12,547
Peter Parker, who you might actually know
as Spider-Man,

38
00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:15,050
he and I have been best friends for years.

39
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:19,179
I mean, this is a school
that we went together for years now.

40
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:22,766
I mean, he's constantly following me
up those steps and,

41
00:03:22,849 --> 00:03:25,977
you know, we get into trouble,
we do what we can. [laughs]

42
00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:28,605
As if our public schools
weren't dangerous enough

43
00:03:28,688 --> 00:03:30,857
between the lead paint, asbestos

44
00:03:30,941 --> 00:03:33,735
and Salisbury steak
made from military horses.

45
00:03:34,778 --> 00:03:35,779
Don't believe me?

46
00:03:35,862 --> 00:03:39,074
Check out my four-part exposé
on Daily Bugle dot net.

47
00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:50,794
Listen, come through, read this book
and you'll find out so much more.

48
00:03:51,545 --> 00:03:53,755
Might be a good time
for home school, folks.

49
00:03:53,839 --> 00:03:55,298
Worked wonders for yours truly.