Mr. Burke, you're saying you saw Spider-Man,
with your own eyes, destroying multiple power lines?
Well, technically, he did destroy those power lines.
Well, there you have it, folks, firsthand from an unimpeachable witness.
-Wait, I wasn't finished. -I'm sorry?
Spider-Man was stopping this guy
who was absorbing all the energy from the lines.
Uh-huh.
Spider-Man stopped that dude,
and then he spent the whole night repairing the damage.
I saw it all. It was amazing.
We'll have to circle back and confirm this, folks.
Meantime, I'll speak with my producers
and see if we've checked what's in Mr. Burke's thermos.
We'll be right back after a brief word from Daily Bugle Supplements.
-The only other daily fix you need. -[crew member] And we're out.
Okay, which one of you former employees vetted that nut job?
From local street hooligan to international terrorist.
Help, the higher you fly, the harder you fall.
Incredibly, this shocking revelation brought to light by yours truly
has only raised more questions about the secret life of Peter Parker,
aka Spider-Man, aka the Spider-Menace.
But rest assured, dear viewers, we here at The Daily Bugle will not rest
until we've uncovered the truth behind his web of lies.
I'm J. Jonah Jameson.
Good night, and God help us all.
What's up, Flash Mob?
Uh, I'm here coming at you and I wanna say thank you
to everyone who's preordered the book already.
You guys are crushing these preorders. I appreciate it.
But now, if you want a copy of the book early,
tomorrow at 3:00 p.m., here at Midtown High,
you can come and get your own signed copy by yours truly.
So stop on by. I'd love to meet you all.
[kisses]
I wouldn't let this kid near a dog park, let alone a public school.
Peter Parker, who you might actually know as Spider-Man,
he and I have been best friends for years.
I mean, this is a school that we went together for years now.
I mean, he's constantly following me up those steps and,
you know, we get into trouble, we do what we can. [laughs]
As if our public schools weren't dangerous enough
between the lead paint, asbestos
and Salisbury steak made from military horses.
Don't believe me?
Check out my four-part exposé on Daily Bugle dot net.
Listen, come through, read this book and you'll find out so much more.
Might be a good time for home school, folks.
Worked wonders for yours truly.