1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:03,342 We'll install the subway tile backsplash... super classy... 2 00:00:03,367 --> 00:00:04,617 Tear out your sad pantry 3 00:00:04,642 --> 00:00:06,515 to make room for the second dishwasher... 4 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,093 Your wife is gonna love that... 5 00:00:08,118 --> 00:00:10,540 And then to incorporate your new kitchen island, 6 00:00:10,565 --> 00:00:13,571 we're gonna have to blast out this wall... ka-blam! 7 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,765 And then we'll replace these really outdated fixtures 8 00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:18,391 with brushed Italian brass throughout. 9 00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:22,297 Now, I could have a demo crew to your house by... 10 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,717 Ooh, looks like early as Wednesday. 11 00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:25,336 Does 8:00 a.m. work for you? 12 00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:27,477 Look, like I said, I just need a faucet. 13 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,243 - I don't need... - Oh, listen, Scott. 14 00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:32,071 - It's Dave. - I jumped through so many hoops 15 00:00:32,096 --> 00:00:33,360 to do this for you. 16 00:00:33,385 --> 00:00:34,978 And I hate to be the one to break it to you, 17 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,618 but your problems run a lot deeper than a faucet. 18 00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:40,813 So, let's not be stupid here, okay? 19 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:42,469 Are you calling me stupid? 20 00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:45,743 Not at all. I'm just begging you not to be stupid. 21 00:00:46,978 --> 00:00:48,336 Cricket? 22 00:00:48,361 --> 00:00:50,791 I don't want to hear it, Terry. I don't want to hear it, okay? 23 00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:53,922 You want a closer, you got to just back up and let me do my job. 24 00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,368 Fine. Write me up again. 25 00:00:57,393 --> 00:00:58,657 I can't. I've told you before 26 00:00:58,682 --> 00:01:00,805 about being rude and abrasive to customers. 27 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,227 You've maxed out your reprimands, 28 00:01:02,252 --> 00:01:03,915 your suspensions without pay. 29 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:05,233 I'm-I'm out of tools. 30 00:01:05,258 --> 00:01:06,968 - Terry... - Mm-mm. 31 00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:08,899 Oh, come on, man! 32 00:01:08,924 --> 00:01:11,051 I'm gonna need you to turn in your tag. 33 00:01:13,218 --> 00:01:14,571 Fine. 34 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,860 The real one. 35 00:01:20,317 --> 00:01:21,651 Fine. 36 00:01:22,242 --> 00:01:25,741 But please give Wanda my position as senior design executive. 37 00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:26,977 'Cause she deserves it. 38 00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:29,412 I cannot do that, because you made up that title, 39 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,079 and then you wrote it on a name tag. 40 00:01:31,104 --> 00:01:33,610 Then I'll help you out. Wanda, you just got promoted! 41 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,011 - You go, girl! - What? 42 00:01:35,036 --> 00:01:36,547 Y-You're not promoted, Wanda. 43 00:01:36,572 --> 00:01:38,352 Okay. 44 00:01:39,645 --> 00:01:41,001 Wha...? 45 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:44,446 Why you walking so funny? 46 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,594 No, Cricket, don't! 47 00:01:49,406 --> 00:01:51,219 Okay, you made your point. No! 48 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,336 Cricket! 49 00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:54,141 Real mature, Cricket. I feel like you 50 00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:55,977 made the point with the first one... 51 00:01:59,073 --> 00:02:00,449 What?! 52 00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:06,251 ♪ It's 1911 ♪ 53 00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:07,903 ♪ In New York City ♪ 54 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,598 ♪ And I'm sewing shirts and socks ♪ 55 00:02:10,902 --> 00:02:14,368 ♪ But there's a fire in the warehouse ♪ 56 00:02:14,393 --> 00:02:18,149 ♪ And my skin is melting off ♪ 57 00:02:18,174 --> 00:02:22,571 ♪ There's a fire deep inside of me ♪ 58 00:02:22,596 --> 00:02:25,086 ♪ This is why we need labor reform... ♪ 59 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:26,508 No, no, no. 60 00:02:26,845 --> 00:02:30,890 Thomas, this is a song about a boy who is literally on fire! 61 00:02:30,915 --> 00:02:32,626 You sound like a boy who's, like, 62 00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:35,070 choosing toppings for your froyo. 63 00:02:35,095 --> 00:02:36,304 Okay, now, show me engulfing. 64 00:02:36,329 --> 00:02:38,372 Come on, five, six, seven, eight. 65 00:02:39,665 --> 00:02:41,696 Come on, you call that engulfing?! 66 00:02:41,721 --> 00:02:43,390 What part of Guys and Dolls is this? 67 00:02:43,415 --> 00:02:46,969 Please forget Guys and Dolls, you little dummy! 68 00:02:46,994 --> 00:02:49,071 I wrote you an original musical! 69 00:02:49,096 --> 00:02:51,743 A world premiere on your school stage! 70 00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:53,025 You're welcome. 71 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:54,899 God, now writhe! 72 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:57,008 Come on, all you flames, get in here! 73 00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:58,477 Come on, get in here! 74 00:02:58,502 --> 00:03:00,571 Faster, faster! More energy! 75 00:03:00,596 --> 00:03:01,596 Burn him! 76 00:03:01,621 --> 00:03:03,657 - ♪ There's a fire ♪ - Mr. Melfi? 77 00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:05,907 - ♪ Deep inside of... ♪ - Mr. Melfi! 78 00:03:06,213 --> 00:03:07,923 Can I speak with you? 79 00:03:08,108 --> 00:03:10,227 It's art. 80 00:03:10,252 --> 00:03:13,610 It is a lawsuit waiting to happen. 81 00:03:13,635 --> 00:03:16,735 We're pulling the plug on Children of the Fire. 82 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,305 I wrote Children of the Fire specifically for these students. 83 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,399 I know, Jann. 84 00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,259 But the school board does not think 85 00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:26,657 Children of the Fire is appropriate for 12 and 13-year-olds. 86 00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:29,719 Actual 12 and 13-year-olds died in that factory fire. 87 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,537 So, what could be more appropriate? 88 00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:33,032 The school board also thinks 89 00:03:33,057 --> 00:03:35,852 they need to go in another direction creatively. 90 00:03:35,877 --> 00:03:38,360 So, what? I'm back to directing Guys and Dolls? 91 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,138 No, you are not directing anything. 92 00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:48,227 Et tu, Doug? 93 00:03:48,486 --> 00:03:50,383 Et tu? 94 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,909 Okay. 95 00:04:03,649 --> 00:04:04,688 Okay, company. 96 00:04:04,713 --> 00:04:06,468 Rehearsals are done for today. 97 00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:21,719 He inferred that my choreography... 98 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,829 was inappropriate and abusive. 99 00:04:23,854 --> 00:04:25,508 I mean, no, Doug. 100 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,535 Abusive is making those kids 101 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,813 do fucking Guys and fucking Dolls for the 18th time. 102 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,089 Well, yeah, I mean... 103 00:04:32,114 --> 00:04:33,324 Those idiots, 104 00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:36,223 they can't comprehend your vision, right? 105 00:04:36,248 --> 00:04:37,758 I mean, they're bureaucrats. 106 00:04:37,783 --> 00:04:39,516 It's like me at Fair & Square. 107 00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:41,204 Terry says that I am rude 108 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:43,252 and abrasive to the customers? 109 00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:45,844 You're trying to turn that customer's life around, 110 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,516 and Terry called you "abrasive"? 111 00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,860 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Oh, your gifts were wasted there. 112 00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:52,921 Well, hey, talk about wasted talents. 113 00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:55,226 I tell you what, if you put 114 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,689 Children of the Fire up on Broadway, 115 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,485 it would run for a hundred years. 116 00:04:58,510 --> 00:05:00,063 But, unfortunately, our schools 117 00:05:00,088 --> 00:05:02,215 are in the business of teaching mediocrity. 118 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,930 Yeah. We're both nailed to the same cross, my love. 119 00:05:07,046 --> 00:05:08,649 Jann, is this it for us? 120 00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:10,618 I mean, is this just our life now? 121 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,985 We're destined to be two people with vision 122 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,501 living amongst the blind? 123 00:05:14,526 --> 00:05:15,961 I don't know. 124 00:05:15,986 --> 00:05:18,055 It's like the system is rigged against us. 125 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,790 It's the only explanation. 126 00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:23,822 Here we go, the master suite. 127 00:05:23,847 --> 00:05:26,970 Speaking of mediocrity, look at these two yahoos. 128 00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:28,775 - Your new living area... - Yeah. 129 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,689 ... is open concept with organic flow, 130 00:05:31,714 --> 00:05:34,595 coffer ceilings, maple-floating hardwood floors, 131 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:37,087 and built-ins with plenty of shelf space. 132 00:05:37,112 --> 00:05:40,181 Oh, and, Dylan, we kept your hunting trophy. 133 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,854 Oh, man! 134 00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:43,056 Oh, he's so... 135 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,423 Deer antlers? 136 00:05:44,448 --> 00:05:46,548 Holy Jesus, Tiffany! 137 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,978 Your Botox is bleeding into your brain. 138 00:05:49,003 --> 00:05:50,868 - Who is dressing Tiffany? - I don't know! 139 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,415 That magenta blouse? 140 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,673 It's like Dollar Shot Night at Hooters. 141 00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:55,947 That is the bleakest 142 00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:58,267 dining room I have ever seen in my life. 143 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,158 What a freakin' disaster! 144 00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:03,642 What is with that horrible mirror on the wall? 145 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,650 It looks like Liberace's butthole. 146 00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:08,511 You ready, and... boom! 147 00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:12,048 Oh, my God! Seriously? 148 00:06:12,073 --> 00:06:14,095 ... indoor, outdoor lounging cabanas... 149 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,705 That looks like the visiting area of a prison! 150 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:18,033 I know, right? 151 00:06:18,058 --> 00:06:19,806 This is our home! I can't believe it. 152 00:06:19,831 --> 00:06:20,832 - Thank you! - Come on, come on. 153 00:06:20,856 --> 00:06:23,533 Look at that... tears of joy. Uh-huh, yeah. 154 00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:24,970 This is all totally scripted. 155 00:06:24,995 --> 00:06:25,996 - It has to be. - Bullshit! 156 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,919 - I mean, those are actors. - Bullshit. 157 00:06:28,173 --> 00:06:30,743 - Until next time... - When you need the pros... 158 00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,729 Call the Connellys. 159 00:06:33,989 --> 00:06:36,075 How do you two even have your own show?! 160 00:06:38,369 --> 00:06:40,371 I'm sorry. 161 00:06:43,101 --> 00:06:45,770 I can't handle getting another job. 162 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,439 I can't take being oppressed like that again. 163 00:06:48,464 --> 00:06:50,173 Same. Every job I take, 164 00:06:50,198 --> 00:06:53,326 I am surrounded by just armies of dipshits. 165 00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:55,437 This is not our destiny, Cricket. 166 00:06:55,462 --> 00:06:57,381 I, for the life of me, don't understand why 167 00:06:57,406 --> 00:06:59,354 those two have their own show and we're sitting around 168 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,214 eating microwave lasagna with the rent past due. 169 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:05,291 I wish I had the answer for you, my love. 170 00:07:05,316 --> 00:07:07,439 I think people are just intimidated by us, 171 00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,415 'cause we're ahead of our time. 172 00:07:10,524 --> 00:07:12,501 What are we gonna do, Jann? 173 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,150 Well, we can't go back to my sister's. 174 00:07:15,175 --> 00:07:16,751 The restraining order is... 175 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:19,025 What is this? 176 00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:22,540 We're looking for Home Renovation TV's next dynamic duo. 177 00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:23,970 Do you have a creative vision? 178 00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:26,165 Are your ideas out of this world? 179 00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,759 Do you have a passion for building and home renovations? 180 00:07:28,784 --> 00:07:30,536 Then we want to see what you got. 181 00:07:30,561 --> 00:07:32,595 Submit your house renovation video 182 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,626 to HRTV by April 30th to enter our contest. 183 00:07:36,651 --> 00:07:38,679 Winners will be given their own show here 184 00:07:38,704 --> 00:07:40,790 on Home Renovation TV.