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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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[PATRICIA CRYING, STAMMERING]
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PATRICIA [OVER PHONE]: Oh, my God, I
just, I just don't think I can go on.
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KASEY:
Patricia, listen to my voice.
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I'm here for you.
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Now, let's just breathe
and weigh our options.
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
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What difference
will options make?
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After 20 years, he left me.
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Twenty long years, bastard!
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We've talked about him already,
okay?
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He hurt you, he tore
your heart out, and Patricia,
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that thing with the border
collie, damn it,
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Patricia,
I was in tears for you.
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But what do we really know?
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We know that it's okay
to hurt sometimes.
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We also know that he's making
no more decisions for you.
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I made up my mind,
I'm hanging up.
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Goddamn it, Patricia, you wait!
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You don't hang up that phone.
Patricia, just stay with me.
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Please.
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Please.
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Patricia?
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I'm still here.
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Okay, that's good.
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Patricia, that's real good,
okay?
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I'm already seeing some growth.
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Now here's the thing, Patricia.
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I'm offering help,
if you want it.
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Because we all need help
sometimes.
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You know what, fuck it.
Give me the full package.
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Platinum Triple Play, HBO,
Starz, phone,
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Internet, all of it.
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
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I am so proud of you.
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You've already shown
so much growth.
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I'm gonna go ahead,
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I'll put those numbers in.
Great.
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You ready for my card number?
Absolutely.
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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[PIGEON JOHN'S
"THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE ME"]
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ Like, like me no more ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ Shinin' like a supernova ♪
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♪ Brand new coat
Hangin' on my shoulders ♪
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♪ I got what you need
I'm your main controller ♪
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♪ So hop right in
And don't take it slower ♪
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♪ Get on up to my clout ♪
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♪ Ain't nobody here
Is takin' us down ♪
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♪ Hit 'em with the rhythm
Bangin' that sound ♪
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♪ That's when we get 'em
Hit the whole town ♪
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♪ I got what you want ♪
♪ What you want ♪
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♪ I got what you need ♪
♪ What you need ♪
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♪ You bring the lock ♪
♪ You bring the lock ♪
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♪ I got the keys ♪
♪ Got the keys ♪
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♪ Can't turn me on ♪
♪ Can't turn me on ♪
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♪ Can't get enough ♪
♪ Can't get enough ♪
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♪ Don't fit the box
Don't fit the mold ♪
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♪ 'Cause you know
I'd just tear it up ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ Like, like me no more ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
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♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
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♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪
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KASEY:
We will be in touch.
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PATRICIA: I really appreciate--
All right now.
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[SIGHS]
Now that is what you call
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a first ballot
hall of fame performance.
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Let's get another one,
Big Fred.
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I understand, Ms. Wise. These
times are hard on all of us.
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Internet and cable
are kind of expensive bills,
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especially when you have--
No, no, no, no, no.
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Like my mama say, I shall keep
you in my prayers, Mrs.--
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Mrs. Wise. Ha-ha.
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And I pray that you recognize
your freely-given faith.
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And right here, right now,
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start living in a life
of abundance,
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and enjoying a life
of prosperity.
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And the best way to exercise
that almighty faith
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is to try my service today.
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God bless you.
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Wow!
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You like porn? We got porn.
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My man, what kind of porn
we talking about?
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Oh, my corporate number, yeah.
It's 1-800-FUCK-YOU.
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You want me to add you
to the do not call list?
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Shit. I mean, shit,
I mean, please.
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I just don't think
that's a good idea.
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[CLEARS THROAT]
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Kasey. Thanks.
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But that lady might not be able
to afford our package.
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We should do no evil.
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Wow. Man, you know what?
That is so crazy
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that you think that I care,
because I don't.
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After the sale, bro,
it's out of my hands.
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Can't say I disagree there.
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Yeah, unless she wants
that private dick-stillation.
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Bow, bow, bow--
Get it, get it, get it.
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Gentlemen, gentlemen,
gentlemen.
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Yeah, I hurt myself
a little bit.
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Her home's in foreclosure.
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That's unfortunate for her.
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Because what they're gonna do
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is they're gonna remove her
from her home
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and leave all that good
entertainment in the house
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for somebody else, you know?
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[LAUGHS]
LIZ: All right.
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Last day of the sales period,
shit-heads.
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Let's focus on
the three necessities of life:
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phone, cable, Internet.
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It's just that simple.
[SCOFFS]
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Nice work.
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But that Patricia lady,
22 minutes.
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You going soft on me, King?
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Eh, I got the sale.
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And her life story.
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And the sale. Listen, Liz,
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your boys
are running out of gas,
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it's embarrassing, really.
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Hm.
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May I remind you,
three grand is at stake.
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Six hours until end
of business.
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Still anyone's ballgame.
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All right,
let's see where we're at.
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Call them out.
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Almost had a triple.
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And I almost cared.
Who else besides Kasey?
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[LAUGHS] Double play.
Cable and Internet.
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[WINCES] Yeah. I hate to be that
guy, but, uh, I closed that one, Liz,
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so go ahead
and add that to mine,
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plus two other triple plays.
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LIZ: Love it.
Yeah, sorry rookie,
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it's the law of the land.
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LIZ:
Remember, winner not only takes
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our largest commission to date,
but also the throne chair.
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And whoever ends up
in last place...
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Justin.
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Fuck off.
Eat shit, asshole.
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LIZ: That means you
are the lowlife loser
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who will be given the shittiest
sales list you've ever seen.
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Hell, if it were legal,
I'd give you the worst list.
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The do not call list.
[CHUCKLES] Ooh!
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And for anyone whose target
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asks to be put
on the do not call list,
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I'll subtract one of their
miserable, sorry ass sales.
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Now, has anyone asked
to be put on that list?
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
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Because I don't lie, okay?
I never lie.
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I'm a good person,
I visit my grandma.
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Shut up.
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LIZ: Now everyone can
just shut their pie-holes,
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because I got a call
from corporate earlier.
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They're on their way here
as we speak
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for an all-hands-on-deck
meeting.
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I have a very comfortable lead,
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so I'm gonna take this
as my cue to leave.
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The meeting's kind of
a big deal,
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got some suits flying in
from Houston.
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Oh, Houston, lovely city,
love the Rockets.
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Tell them I said what up.
Kasey.
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Hm? I can't hear you.
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[SCOFFS]
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
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[WOLF WHISTLES]
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Ladies, ladies, please.
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No, no, no, no, don't get up,
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I couldn't trouble you to do so.
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I was just on my lunch break
in the neighborhood,
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and I thought to myself, huh,
who could use some roses?
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Oh, I know. The ladies
at the Wave Hair Salon.
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Here you go.
Is he crazy?
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KASEY: For you.
Crazy.
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Anyway, that's for you.
Thank you.
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Yeah. Shelly, Shelly, Shelly.
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I'm just surprised it's not
dripping in snake oil.
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[SCOFFS]
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SHELLY:
Hm.
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Ugh.
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You'll kill these flowers.
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And one final rose
for a very special lady.
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Two years of emotional torture,
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a single rose
doesn't seem quite right.
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Well, I got two, technically.
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So it's one step closer
to getting you back.
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Look, is there any way
we can talk in private now?
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Just a minute,
without inmate number one?
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Okay, Ms. Gordon?
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I'm gonna give him his minute,
or else he won't leave.
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Trust me, it's just better
for everyone, and I'll...
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Okay, I understand.
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00:08:49,979 --> 00:08:52,248
But if you need some backup,
just holler.
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Because baby, I don't mind
taking off the earrings
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to put some Vaseline on you.
You understand me?
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00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,889
Don't have flashbacks
of your strip club days.
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00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:01,090
What?
201
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,923
I love you.
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00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,360
I love you.
203
00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:06,794
I love you too, sugar.
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00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:11,934
Honestly, I don't wanna be
the one to say it,
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00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:16,372
but I don't think this
is the environment for you.
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00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:19,242
Look, I'm almost done
with my master's in psych,
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00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:23,913
and unlike you, I don't have
a father footing the bill.
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00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:25,047
In there is real life,
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00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,750
and I've been waiting
for you to join me here.
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00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,119
Like, in the salon?
Baby, I can't work here.
211
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,188
Don't be stupid.
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
212
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:35,158
But, you know,
I'm trying here, I really am.
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00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:37,160
Do you want a cookie
for being a smooth talker?
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00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:40,963
It depends on the type
of cookie. Okay, seriously.
215
00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,131
That was the last joke.
216
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,966
But I'm serious,
that's why I'm here.
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00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:46,836
Okay? I want what you want,
I want what we want.
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00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:49,305
You always say the right thing,
219
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,074
but I'm not your customer,
okay?
220
00:09:52,107 --> 00:09:56,212
If you can't be open and honest
with me all of the time,
221
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:57,113
then there is no "we."
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00:09:57,146 --> 00:09:59,315
Hell, I haven't even met
all your family yet.
223
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,084
I keep saying,
you don't want to meet my dad.
224
00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:04,053
I'm a family person.
Hey, hey, I am too.
225
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:07,824
Very important to me, and I'm
being for real about that.
226
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,091
Well then, prove it.
227
00:10:09,124 --> 00:10:11,127
And don't you dare
try to sell me.
228
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,128
Well, let me, okay.
229
00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:14,297
Let me just sell you
one last time
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00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:15,531
on dinner tonight.
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00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:18,034
All right, no hustles,
no pickup lines,
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00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:22,336
just you, me, two fine steaks.
233
00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:26,039
We gave up red meat.
234
00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:27,877
We did, and I know, I remember.
235
00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,913
I didn't know if you had gone
back since the breakup,
236
00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:31,981
which is why I chose a place
237
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:34,851
with very-very fine
aquatic selections.
238
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,853
You know what I mean?
Salmon, right?
239
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,454
God invented that.
Uh, leafy greens?
240
00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:40,823
Gotta have my fiber intake,
you know,
241
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,892
because I stay backed up
sometimes.
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00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:44,193
Stop.
Really gotta
243
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,429
keep it moving,
you know?
244
00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:48,595
[BOTH LAUGH]
245
00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:53,236
Look, there is
this new French place on 5th
246
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:55,071
I've been wanting to try, so...
Boom.
247
00:10:55,104 --> 00:10:58,341
I'm gonna leave right now
before you change your mind.
248
00:10:58,374 --> 00:10:59,475
Mm-hm.
La, la, la. I can't hear.
249
00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:01,844
You can read my lips.
I can read your lips.
250
00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:02,845
What am I saying right now?
251
00:11:02,878 --> 00:11:05,214
Uh, salmon and sex?
What time...
252
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,349
That's not what I said.
253
00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:07,383
That's what it sounds like.
254
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,318
Sex and salmon.
Goodbye.
255
00:11:09,351 --> 00:11:10,519
And not in that order.
256
00:11:10,552 --> 00:11:13,654
[♪♪♪♪♪]
257
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:22,198
Right, so, um, okay.
258
00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:28,635
Just to clarify, 8 p.m.,
a quiet table, with a view.
259
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,273
Right, right. Thanks, Dana.
260
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:31,874
Hey, let me ask you something.
261
00:11:31,907 --> 00:11:33,042
I'm not doing too much, am I?
262
00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:36,543
I mean, there's a lot
riding on this date.
263
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:40,016
Oh, no, I trust your taste,
it was, you know...
264
00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:43,583
Right. All right, thanks, Dana.
265
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:50,192
[GLOVE BOX OPENS, CLOSES]
266
00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:52,428
[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]
267
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,094
Showtime.
268
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,102
Fats, my man.
Hey, Kasey.
269
00:12:00,135 --> 00:12:02,138
How's that NFL Sunday Ticket
treating you?
270
00:12:02,171 --> 00:12:03,606
Man, I ain't miss a game
all preseason, baby.
271
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:07,376
Hey, call me when you want
that landline, all right?
272
00:12:07,409 --> 00:12:09,412
Cell phones for the bros,
273
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,547
landlines...
[CHUCKLES]
274
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:12,515
Is for the other bros,
275
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:15,885
because we both know
you ain't getting no bitches.
276
00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:18,421
Only bitch I need, playa.
My man.
277
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:20,456
LIZ: Yes, I can!
You're the shittiest...
278
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,858
I ain't messing with that,
that's all you.
279
00:12:22,891 --> 00:12:26,426
That chick is a wild one.
LIZ: Oh, my God.
280
00:12:27,096 --> 00:12:28,030
Mm. That's good.
281
00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:30,333
You just have it out for me
because I'm short.
282
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,301
Oh, because you're short?
Yeah.
283
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,904
No, because you don't know
how to sell.
284
00:12:34,937 --> 00:12:35,671
You are useless, go!
285
00:12:35,704 --> 00:12:36,973
Fats, can you get him
out of here?
286
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,642
You can suck my shit!
I am gonna come back here
287
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,078
and bite everybody's dick off.
You hear me?
288
00:12:42,111 --> 00:12:45,181
Okay, go back to Jersey,
Justin, make your mama happy.
289
00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:46,282
Yeah, you come to Jersey,
290
00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:47,550
you see what we do to you.
Okay.
291
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,553
I'll bury you in the sand
in the shore!
292
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:51,921
Yup. You, my office.
293
00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:53,189
[JUSTIN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Wow.
294
00:12:53,222 --> 00:12:55,391
KASEY [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]:
Mrs. Hanks, word is,
295
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:56,425
Russia's gonna start tapping
296
00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,127
all American cell phones
very soon.
297
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,162
HANKS: My Lord.
Do yourself a favor
298
00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:01,530
and add our phone
package today.
299
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:04,133
It's the only way
to stay safe from Putin.
300
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,068
Uh... I'm listening,
but that's not me.
301
00:13:06,101 --> 00:13:10,373
I know it sounds like me,
but that's not me, you know.
302
00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:11,474
No?
A lot of people...
303
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,376
Russian spyware,
you know what I mean?
304
00:13:13,409 --> 00:13:15,444
They can make you sound
like anybody.
305
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:18,481
You listen
to Joe Rogan podcasts?
306
00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:19,582
No.
Oh, you'll see,
307
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:21,617
maybe you should start,
educate yourself.
308
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:24,520
You know, before you bring
on these accusations.
309
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,655
[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
310
00:13:26,688 --> 00:13:30,090
[♪♪♪♪♪]
311
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,007
Sorry, Justin.
312
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,242
KASEY:
We must show patriotism
313
00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:49,011
by honoring
a true American icon.
314
00:13:49,044 --> 00:13:49,712
LIZ:
Mm.
315
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,280
I-I told a deception.
316
00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:53,049
I shouldn't have told
a deception.
317
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:56,685
I know, and I've learned from
it, and I've grown, really.
318
00:13:56,718 --> 00:13:58,721
I've grown from it. Yeah.
You have?
319
00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,655
I've learned my lesson.
320
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:01,390
Today is a new day. For me.
Okay.
321
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,492
KASEY: Have any idea
who that man might be?
322
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:06,162
Mr. Rogers?
KASEY: Not Rogers, ma'am.
323
00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:08,330
James, Rick James.
Rick James?
324
00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:09,598
KASEY:
That's right, Rick James.
325
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:12,435
The one and only founding
father of "Super Freaks."
326
00:14:12,468 --> 00:14:15,471
Super what?
It sounds like I haven't grown
327
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:16,372
when you play it back.
328
00:14:16,405 --> 00:14:18,407
Yeah. Our wonderful
Triple Play package.
329
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,577
Someone will personally
hand-deliver a one of a kind
330
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,746
Rick James wig
right to your doorstep.
331
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,414
MRS. HANKS:
Oh, my, that would be nice.
332
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,782
I bet my granddaughter
would want one too.
333
00:14:29,084 --> 00:14:31,153
Rick James.
Kinda funny.
334
00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:35,558
I'd been listening to some
"Super Freak" on the car ride.
335
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,226
Creative.
Yeah.
336
00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:39,428
Already over 100,000 views,
337
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,762
and you've mentioned
the company's name.
338
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:46,302
Corporate fucking loved it.
339
00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:47,670
Wait, so they're not upset?
340
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:51,240
Upset? They nearly jizzed
their double-pleated slacks
341
00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:54,777
at the social media exposure
and potential revenue, and...
342
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,512
with you being top salesman...
I am.
343
00:14:56,545 --> 00:15:01,283
...they demanded that the entire
floor adopts the Kasey Method.
344
00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:04,320
The Kasey Method.
Uh-huh.
345
00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:05,621
Yeah.
346
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:08,688
Check out the front row.
347
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:15,862
Hi, yes, this is Barry calling
you from TeleWin.
348
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:18,367
Yeah. Heh-heh.
349
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,270
Actually, you know,
when my pastor was 20,
350
00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:24,073
he cared what everybody
thought about him.
351
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:24,773
When he turned 40,
352
00:15:24,806 --> 00:15:27,476
he didn't care what nobody
thought about him.
353
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,744
But you know, when he turned 60,
354
00:15:28,777 --> 00:15:32,448
he realized nobody cared
what they thought about him.
355
00:15:32,481 --> 00:15:35,584
So, what I'm trying to say is,
ma'am, you shouldn't care,
356
00:15:35,617 --> 00:15:37,720
you should buy
one of these packages.
357
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:40,787
[CHUCKLES]
Yes, okay.
358
00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:47,296
I like my coffee
like I like my men.
359
00:15:47,329 --> 00:15:49,365
I don't, because I like girls.
360
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,500
And everybody around
here knows it. Hm.
361
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,501
Why are you in my chair?
362
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,171
I-I'm sorry, I just thought
you wouldn't mind--
363
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,805
"Sorry, Kasey."
You thought I wouldn't mind?
364
00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:59,675
Is that bow tie cutting off
the circulation to your brain?
365
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:03,212
I guess I just wanted to
channel the master, that's all.
366
00:16:03,245 --> 00:16:05,845
But hey--
Hey, hey, hey.
367
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,850
It's not about the chair.
368
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:08,851
The chair don't make the man.
369
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,886
Because no matter how long
you sit in this chair,
370
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:15,424
you will always be second place.
[PATS HIS CHEST]
371
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:19,628
But not just to me,
God hates you.
372
00:16:19,661 --> 00:16:21,394
[SIGHS]
373
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:23,732
[CHAIR RUSTLES]
374
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:26,468
I like how you got my chair,
but couldn't...
375
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,571
Couldn't make the switch,
could you?
376
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:31,574
This is something
you can relate to, Barry?
377
00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:32,608
You know what I mean?
378
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:34,376
Everybody standing
around watching
379
00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:36,512
like this is
a goddamn music show.
380
00:16:36,545 --> 00:16:41,650
Is that my mocha choca king
sitting in a regular ass chair?
381
00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:45,688
Well, I'm just feeling generous
today, gentlemen, that's it.
382
00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:48,622
Then why the Payday Loan?
383
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,492
What, they called you?
384
00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:51,660
Asked a bunch
of weird questions.
385
00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:54,863
Like your nipple shape.
I said Africa, I kept it safe.
386
00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:56,565
That's pretty accurate.
Right there.
387
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:59,335
My man. You told them
I was a good dude?
388
00:16:59,368 --> 00:17:00,903
Of course I did.
You know what I'm saying?
389
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,807
Right there.
I said you had great taste in music.
390
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,675
You said that to them?
Look, anyway,
391
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:09,178
I just have a very special
purchase I had to make.
392
00:17:09,211 --> 00:17:11,380
These loan companies
don't fuck around though, man.
393
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:14,683
My uncle Jeffrey,
he almost lost his left nut
394
00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:16,785
because he defaulted
on a payment.
395
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:17,720
Bro, could you imagine
396
00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:20,289
making a Sophie's Choice
with your nutsack?
397
00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:21,690
It's like left truffle,
right truffle.
398
00:17:21,723 --> 00:17:25,661
I ju-- As long as I cash out
by tonight as planned,
399
00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:30,463
me and my truffles
are perfectly fine.
400
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:31,634
I love truffles.
401
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:35,302
Y'all thought process
puzzles me.
402
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:37,373
I'll sign you up
for the package right now.
403
00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:40,609
Holy shit.
Man, look at the scoreboard.
404
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:44,346
BARRY: Yes, ma'am.
Haa... That's real cute.
405
00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:45,547
Real cute, rookie.
406
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:47,516
Let's go get another one,
Big Fred.
407
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,285
This is Barry calling
from TeleWin,
408
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,986
and I'm trying
to upgrade you now.
409
00:17:51,019 --> 00:17:52,721
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
410
00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,590
I talk straight.
I like to shoot straight.
411
00:17:54,623 --> 00:17:56,592
Better cable service
while he's gone,
412
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,693
fucking all those other women.
413
00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:59,795
[TEXAS ACCENT] I was born
and raised in Texas like you.
414
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,364
Sometimes I like
to grab the bull by its horns
415
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:04,300
and do you know what
to 'em. Heh.
416
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,035
I can sign you up right now.
417
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:07,836
[LINE HUMS]
Hello?
418
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:08,971
One for Barry.
419
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:09,772
Whatever, dude.
420
00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:11,607
Even a broken clock's right
twice a day.
421
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,277
[BOSTON ACCENT] Absolutely, sir,
I'm from fucking Boston. Yeah.
422
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:18,647
Fucking Boston, I went to BU.
LIZ: Clock's ticking.
423
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,648
Two banger for Barry.
424
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,016
He's having
a little lucky streak.
425
00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:22,918
Little lucky streak.
That's all good.
426
00:18:22,951 --> 00:18:26,953
Triple play for Barry.
Shit, Barry.
427
00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:28,857
[TICKING]
428
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,426
You can learn
from your failures.
429
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:31,760
Hey, our phones,
anybody's phone,
430
00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:32,995
Debra, is your phone
messed up?
431
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,997
That last company failed you,
but we won't.
432
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,932
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER VOICE]
Kasey still has a clear lead,
433
00:18:36,965 --> 00:18:38,767
but he's still clearly
under pressure.
434
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,836
RICK: The same pressure
he faced in law school.
435
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,806
The same pressure that caused
him to flunk out.
436
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,406
KASEY:
Dropped out.
437
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,977
All right, choir boy,
I got you.
438
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:51,780
LIZ:
Another single play for Barry.
439
00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:53,015
Fucking is it hot?
440
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,550
LIZ:
Two banger for Barry.
441
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,985
Debra, can you turn the a.c. up?
442
00:18:57,018 --> 00:18:57,920
[TICKING]
443
00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,555
LIZ:
Another one for Barry.
444
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:00,756
Debra, you're way behind.
445
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,791
So don't even look at me
with judging eyes.
446
00:19:02,824 --> 00:19:04,793
Yeah, you've reached Kasey.
447
00:19:04,826 --> 00:19:06,328
Uh... Ugh.
448
00:19:06,361 --> 00:19:07,761
Fuck!
449
00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:11,633
Fuck.
How's this for a bonus?
450
00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:15,037
24-karat gold-plated iPad.
451
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,071
Ooh!
452
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:16,972
Can I get a word in?
453
00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:19,408
No, I called you,
so you have to wonder what I'm--
454
00:19:19,441 --> 00:19:22,511
As soon as I called,
you started yelling.
455
00:19:22,544 --> 00:19:25,545
Hello?
It's Christine.
456
00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:28,517
Oh, hey. Hey, babe.
457
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:32,755
Hey, I'm just checking
if you made the reservation.
458
00:19:32,788 --> 00:19:33,856
KASEY:
Uh...
459
00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:35,491
Did I make the reservations?
460
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:38,560
Yes, oh, sorry. Of course
I made the reservation.
461
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:40,963
[CHUCKLES]
I'm writing you down right now.
462
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,097
Are you okay? You sound off.
463
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:45,401
Huh? No, no, I sound weird?
You know...
464
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,435
[MOUTHS]
Fuck you.
465
00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:47,870
I don't sound weird at all,
466
00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:50,572
you're the one who sounds weird.
I'm just at work
467
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,975
making deals
like Gordon Gekko.
468
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,042
Oh, I bet you are.
469
00:19:54,075 --> 00:19:57,146
I bet Gordon Gekko would be
making money right now
470
00:19:57,179 --> 00:19:59,915
and probably would be allowed
personal calls
471
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,083
from his very own office.
472
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,519
KASEY:
Get off the damn phone, Liz.
473
00:20:03,552 --> 00:20:05,087
Hey, babe, listen, I gotta go.
474
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:10,592
Okay? I have to--
I will talk to you, uh, later.
475
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:12,694
All right, bye.
476
00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:13,595
Time.
477
00:20:13,628 --> 00:20:15,762
[GROANS, LAUGHS]
478
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,200
LIZ:
Huddle up.
479
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,639
Looks like Kasey's got it
again.
480
00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:26,708
How many more you got, king?
What, what?
481
00:20:26,741 --> 00:20:27,810
[LAUGHS]
482
00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:29,778
My man.
How many more you got?
483
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:30,712
How many do I...
484
00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:32,181
Yeah, how many more
do you got?
485
00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:35,150
Oh, no, that's it right there.
That's it?
486
00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:39,688
I'm saying when you put all the
numbers together combined, yeah.
487
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,890
Anybody else got anything?
488
00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:42,891
Just one.
[CHUCKLES]
489
00:20:42,924 --> 00:20:45,994
Yeah, well, sorry,
single play's not enough.
490
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:48,730
Just one... triple play!
491
00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:50,899
[LAUGHS]
492
00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,265
Yes.
493
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,100
Hm.
494
00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,270
LIZ:
Holy shit. That's...
495
00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,575
You win by one.
496
00:20:59,608 --> 00:21:00,742
[LAUGHS]
497
00:21:00,775 --> 00:21:01,910
Oh, that's major.
498
00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:03,245
Good shit, Barry.
Nah, wait.
499
00:21:03,278 --> 00:21:04,646
CASEY:
I demand a recount on that.
500
00:21:04,679 --> 00:21:09,418
Single but stable family home.
I got her to go for the triple.
501
00:21:09,451 --> 00:21:11,753
[LAUGHING]
502
00:21:11,786 --> 00:21:12,588
Easy, easy, okay?
503
00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:15,491
I mean, I just had a lucky day,
I'm not sure how it happened.
504
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:19,027
You used the Kasey Method,
I bet that's what happened.
505
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:21,063
Actually, I used my own method.
506
00:21:21,096 --> 00:21:23,031
ALL: Ooh!
Ooh!
507
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,967
Oh. And don't forget my smile.
508
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,837
I mean, they may not see it,
but they can feel it.
509
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:32,708
Looks like the king
and his method is dead.
510
00:21:32,741 --> 00:21:34,142
Barry, take the chair.
511
00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:36,743
[ALL APPLAUDING]
512
00:21:38,847 --> 00:21:40,115
Hey, but listen...
Huh?
513
00:21:40,148 --> 00:21:43,719
They just give you a chair
and they snatch it right back.
514
00:21:43,752 --> 00:21:45,053
I know,
every once in a while...
515
00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:47,687
LIZ:
Have a great weekend.
516
00:21:49,691 --> 00:21:52,859
RICK:
You leave it out in the sun.
517
00:21:53,528 --> 00:21:57,599
[SCREAMS] Barry, dude,
you, oh my-- Don't do that.
518
00:21:57,632 --> 00:21:59,668
You do that,
you could've been a victim.
519
00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:02,237
I'm sorry, Kase.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
520
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:03,071
I just came over here
521
00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:06,940
because I feel like
you should have this.
522
00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:07,976
You deserve it.
523
00:22:08,009 --> 00:22:10,879
Honestly, bro,
I wasn't really trying.
524
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,714
You know what I mean?
It was like
525
00:22:12,747 --> 00:22:14,883
I had an off day
and it was a lot going on,
526
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:19,085
so you deserve that,
you keep it, man.
527
00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:22,288
Have a blessed day, Kasey.
528
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:26,192
Fuck, man.
529
00:22:26,728 --> 00:22:29,231
Thirty minutes.
I just need 30 minutes,
530
00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,800
I need to get this bonus
for the weekend, please.
531
00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,002
You already get
the best leads on the floor,
532
00:22:34,035 --> 00:22:36,138
what more do you want?
I can't tell.
533
00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:38,140
The way I'm striking out
out there.
534
00:22:38,173 --> 00:22:40,943
There's something going on
with my sheets.
535
00:22:40,976 --> 00:22:42,611
You had a bad day.
536
00:22:42,644 --> 00:22:44,479
[CHUCKLES]
537
00:22:44,512 --> 00:22:45,681
Liz, Liz.
538
00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:48,083
[♪♪♪♪♪]
539
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,252
Liz, um, I'm rather sure
540
00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:52,187
this wouldn't be
your first "adjustment."
541
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:54,723
You know what I'm talking about.
Latrice, last year,
542
00:22:54,756 --> 00:22:58,193
I'm pretty sure you helped
her make quota, right?
543
00:22:58,226 --> 00:22:59,928
Her kid had leukemia.
544
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,598
Damn it, Liz, I got leukemia!
545
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,866
I don't have leukemia,
I don't have leukemia.
546
00:23:04,899 --> 00:23:07,803
You know, but I got something
worse than leukemia, right?
547
00:23:07,836 --> 00:23:09,237
I have a gigantic loan
I gotta pay back,
548
00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:14,843
or else I may lose something...
that I may never get back.
549
00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:17,813
Liz, look at me, look at me.
Hey, hey, hey.
550
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:19,314
Right, I make one bundle sale,
551
00:23:19,347 --> 00:23:21,650
boom, it'll put me over the top,
and we're good.
552
00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:25,320
No handouts, let me go out there
and do my thing.
553
00:23:25,353 --> 00:23:26,953
Please.
554
00:23:27,889 --> 00:23:30,156
Sorry, Kasey.
Fuck!
555
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:42,738
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
556
00:23:42,771 --> 00:23:45,238
[LINE TRILLING]
557
00:23:47,042 --> 00:23:50,779
CHRISTINE: Hey.
Hey, hey babe, listen. Um...
558
00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:52,581
You're never gonna believe
this, but,
559
00:23:52,614 --> 00:23:54,316
the restaurant bumped
our reservation to 8:30.
560
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:57,619
Oh, damn.
I was just leaving my place.
561
00:23:57,652 --> 00:24:00,155
Yeah, I know, I know,
that sucks.
562
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:01,957
But hey, look,
when we get there,
563
00:24:01,990 --> 00:24:04,793
I'm gonna give the manager
a stern talking-to.
564
00:24:04,826 --> 00:24:06,094
Maybe they'll give us, uh...
565
00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:08,330
Maybe they'll comp dessert
or something like that.
566
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,866
It's cool, it's just
30 minutes, we'll survive.
567
00:24:10,899 --> 00:24:14,236
You know, I've got a good
feeling about this dinner.
568
00:24:14,269 --> 00:24:15,804
Oh, you do?
I do.
569
00:24:15,837 --> 00:24:17,773
So don't mess it up.
[CHUCKLES]
570
00:24:17,806 --> 00:24:19,775
Come on, babe. You know me.
Mm-hm.
571
00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:22,744
Okay, you used to quit talking
before I could change my mind.
572
00:24:22,777 --> 00:24:27,180
I can't hear a word you're
saying because I gotta go, bye.
573
00:24:31,953 --> 00:24:33,622
[SIGHS]
574
00:24:33,655 --> 00:24:35,088
Showtime.
575
00:24:36,591 --> 00:24:39,192
[♪♪♪♪♪]
576
00:24:40,195 --> 00:24:44,330
Come on. Come on. Where's
those fucking call sheets?
577
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:51,404
Come on. Come on. Come on.
578
00:24:55,677 --> 00:24:57,145
[LOCK CLICKS]
579
00:24:57,178 --> 00:24:58,811
Oh, shit.
580
00:25:00,381 --> 00:25:02,818
[♪♪♪♪♪]
581
00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:04,019
[GASPS]
582
00:25:04,052 --> 00:25:05,952
[CHUCKLES]
583
00:25:16,397 --> 00:25:20,099
I swear to God,
don't you ever leave me again.
584
00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,802
I missed you.
585
00:25:23,371 --> 00:25:24,840
What do we got?
586
00:25:24,873 --> 00:25:28,908
Okay. Let's get another one,
Big Fred.
587
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,449
[KNUCKLES CRACK]
588
00:25:34,482 --> 00:25:36,516
Time to get creative.
589
00:25:37,218 --> 00:25:41,354
I know somebody forgot
they're on this stupid list.
590
00:25:43,091 --> 00:25:45,694
[DIALING]
591
00:25:45,727 --> 00:25:46,695
[LINE TRILLING]
592
00:25:46,728 --> 00:25:50,699
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Hello there.
Oh, is this Kate Carpenter?
593
00:25:50,732 --> 00:25:53,368
Yeah, this is Kasey at TeleWin.
[LINE HUMS]
594
00:25:53,401 --> 00:25:56,102
Hello? Hello?
595
00:25:56,237 --> 00:25:58,171
[NORMAL VOICE]
Fuck.
596
00:25:58,506 --> 00:26:01,908
Uh, shit, come on.
597
00:26:03,077 --> 00:26:05,411
[LINE TRILLING]
598
00:26:06,314 --> 00:26:09,484
Hello, Reef. Reef, yeah.
I got a deal for you, man.
599
00:26:09,517 --> 00:26:11,753
I shouldn't be calling you
this late,
600
00:26:11,786 --> 00:26:13,054
but, hello?
[LINE HUMS]
601
00:26:13,087 --> 00:26:16,088
Shit, maybe a little too pervy.
602
00:26:20,094 --> 00:26:21,096
Bingo. Instagram.
603
00:26:21,129 --> 00:26:26,334
No, you strike me as
a Facebook type of individual
604
00:26:26,367 --> 00:26:29,204
due to your advanced age.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
605
00:26:29,237 --> 00:26:31,270
[CHUCKLES]
606
00:26:32,307 --> 00:26:35,875
Phil French. Bingo.
607
00:26:37,312 --> 00:26:40,048
Phil French, Phil French.
Phil French.
608
00:26:40,081 --> 00:26:41,917
Phil, Phil, Phil.
609
00:26:41,950 --> 00:26:42,517
[CLEARS THROAT]
610
00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:46,519
[IN GRAVELLY VOICE]
Phil, Phil, yeah, Phil French.
611
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,425
ASA:
Hello?
612
00:26:50,458 --> 00:26:51,960
Hey there, Asa.
613
00:26:51,993 --> 00:26:53,128
[CHUCKLES]
614
00:26:53,161 --> 00:26:54,930
Yeah, it's a voice
out of the past.
615
00:26:54,963 --> 00:26:58,066
Phil French from marching band,
how you doing, buddy?
616
00:26:58,099 --> 00:27:01,169
Phil?
Phil, is that really you?
617
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:03,839
Yeah, it's me. Heh.
618
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:04,539
Long time, eh?
619
00:27:04,572 --> 00:27:07,108
You bet you it's been a while.
620
00:27:07,141 --> 00:27:09,544
Well, how are you, my man?
Oh, me?
621
00:27:09,577 --> 00:27:12,447
Well, I-I'm in the Valley.
622
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,983
Yeah, I'm in the Valley,
you know.
623
00:27:15,016 --> 00:27:18,553
I was thinking about old times,
and I thought I'd look you up.
624
00:27:18,586 --> 00:27:20,522
You still playing that horn?
625
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:22,123
Oh, you damn right I am.
626
00:27:22,156 --> 00:27:26,392
You can't pull my mouth off
of that horn if you tried.
627
00:27:26,461 --> 00:27:28,897
I suck, I blow, I do it all.
628
00:27:28,930 --> 00:27:29,931
I'm in the big band now.
629
00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:32,033
You know, weddings,
bar mitzvahs,
630
00:27:32,066 --> 00:27:35,237
assisted suicides,
the whole thing.
631
00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:37,339
Hey, don't I know it.
Yeah.
632
00:27:37,372 --> 00:27:38,940
Well, haven't you retired?
633
00:27:38,973 --> 00:27:40,208
Well, I'll tell you this.
634
00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:41,910
You know, I didn't work
enough quarters
635
00:27:41,943 --> 00:27:43,979
to get my Social Security,
you know,
636
00:27:44,012 --> 00:27:46,581
then the-the bursitis
started flaring up again
637
00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:49,050
along with the gout
and what have you,
638
00:27:49,083 --> 00:27:50,051
and such, and so forth.
639
00:27:50,084 --> 00:27:52,654
And so, now I'm over here
selling cable.
640
00:27:52,687 --> 00:27:53,822
Wow.
Say,
641
00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:58,426
you wouldn't happen to be
in the marketplace for cable,
642
00:27:58,459 --> 00:27:59,294
Internet, or phone?
643
00:27:59,327 --> 00:28:01,897
Hell, the entire bundle.
I tell you what, you know,
644
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,466
I could hook you up
with a pretty sweet deal.
645
00:28:04,499 --> 00:28:06,902
First three months,
hell, four months for free.
646
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:09,304
Oh, I'd love that.
You know, I've got a son
647
00:28:09,337 --> 00:28:11,339
who's looking to break
into your business,
648
00:28:11,372 --> 00:28:15,377
that telemarketing thing
that y'all do.
649
00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:17,245
Which one do you work for?
650
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:18,113
TeleWin, Northridge.
651
00:28:18,146 --> 00:28:20,582
Right up the block
from Tarzana, small town.
652
00:28:20,615 --> 00:28:23,451
You know? But tell your son
he can call me here anytime.
653
00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:26,855
I see. You know,
I'm still in the Valley myself.
654
00:28:26,888 --> 00:28:27,889
Well, my son and I.
655
00:28:27,922 --> 00:28:29,424
Like I said before,
that's great,
656
00:28:29,457 --> 00:28:32,160
he can call me here
whenever he feels the need to.
657
00:28:32,193 --> 00:28:35,563
But let-let-let-let me
take care of you.
658
00:28:35,596 --> 00:28:38,900
Let's get--
L-l-let's get you set up, huh?
659
00:28:38,933 --> 00:28:41,536
We can go out and get that
drink and talk about old times
660
00:28:41,569 --> 00:28:44,372
and all the loose women
you used to run through.
661
00:28:44,405 --> 00:28:45,307
Now, Phil.
662
00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:47,909
L-l-let me ask you
a question now.
663
00:28:47,942 --> 00:28:50,979
How do they pay
your commissions,
664
00:28:51,012 --> 00:28:52,447
halos or Hail Marys?
665
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,650
Come again?
Maybe harps, asshole,
666
00:28:55,683 --> 00:28:56,584
because Phil French,
667
00:28:56,617 --> 00:29:00,155
you died five years ago
from alcoholic poisoning.
668
00:29:00,188 --> 00:29:05,527
Buried in a rainstorm at Forest
Lawn like God was crying.
669
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,962
Like God was crying.
670
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,764
Yeah, I know,
that was a sad time.
671
00:29:09,797 --> 00:29:11,333
First off, asshole...
Yeah.
672
00:29:11,366 --> 00:29:15,303
...I'm on the do not
fucking call list.
673
00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:18,506
I've got a particular set
of skills.
674
00:29:18,539 --> 00:29:20,041
Blah, blah, blah.
Wherever you are.
675
00:29:20,074 --> 00:29:23,278
[NORMALLY] Take it easy,
cowboy, pull the saddle out.
676
00:29:23,311 --> 00:29:24,245
Gotta go.
677
00:29:24,278 --> 00:29:25,947
Motherfucker!
678
00:29:25,980 --> 00:29:26,581
God. Okay.
679
00:29:26,614 --> 00:29:27,916
[♪♪♪♪♪]
680
00:29:27,949 --> 00:29:28,917
[VOCALIZES]
681
00:29:28,950 --> 00:29:32,218
We're good, we're good,
we're good.
682
00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,923
[BRITISH ACCENT]
Zachary Morris.
683
00:29:34,956 --> 00:29:35,690
Zachary Morris.
684
00:29:35,723 --> 00:29:38,026
Hello, Zachary Morris?
How you doing, mate?
685
00:29:38,059 --> 00:29:40,962
Yeah, this is Kasey, over at...
[DIAL TONE]
686
00:29:40,995 --> 00:29:43,396
[NORMAL VOICE]
Fuck, dumbass.
687
00:29:44,365 --> 00:29:47,102
Hello, you want cable?
No? Fuck you. Shit.
688
00:29:47,135 --> 00:29:49,371
[BRITISH ACCENT]
I'm all of those things, yeah.
689
00:29:49,404 --> 00:29:50,972
No, I cannot send you
a videotape
690
00:29:51,005 --> 00:29:53,241
of me shoving my hand
up my own asshole.
691
00:29:53,274 --> 00:29:54,142
[LINE HUMS]
Hello?
692
00:29:54,175 --> 00:29:55,710
Hello, you like Internet? No?
693
00:29:55,743 --> 00:29:57,743
Suck my dick.
694
00:29:58,479 --> 00:30:01,649
Come on, Big Fred.
What the fuck is going on?
695
00:30:01,682 --> 00:30:04,252
I got this,
this is nothing, dude.
696
00:30:04,285 --> 00:30:06,955
This is nothing, bro.
697
00:30:06,988 --> 00:30:08,323
[GROANS]
698
00:30:08,356 --> 00:30:09,190
[LINE TRILLING]
699
00:30:09,223 --> 00:30:12,160
Hello, Genevieve? It's that
time of the month again.
700
00:30:12,193 --> 00:30:14,162
Well, not like that, I mean...
701
00:30:14,195 --> 00:30:18,164
Fuck, man.
You've got to be kidding me.
702
00:30:18,232 --> 00:30:24,236
I am a swan,
and this is my pond.
703
00:30:24,338 --> 00:30:28,376
I am a swan,
and this is my pond.
704
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:30,145
Oh, my God, you look
so stupid right now,
705
00:30:30,178 --> 00:30:32,614
wow, this is amazing.
I'm channeling my chi, dawg.
706
00:30:32,647 --> 00:30:35,617
Jesus Christ.
What are you still doing here?
707
00:30:35,650 --> 00:30:36,751
Catching up on some late work,
708
00:30:36,784 --> 00:30:39,187
but the power's out
on our floor, so...
709
00:30:39,220 --> 00:30:40,722
Well, it's a shit building,
brother.
710
00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:44,159
But maintenance is coming,
they'll be here in a minute.
711
00:30:44,192 --> 00:30:46,995
That's good.
I'm glad you're on it.
712
00:30:47,028 --> 00:30:48,029
Self-love, baby.
713
00:30:48,062 --> 00:30:49,595
Try it sometime.
714
00:30:50,631 --> 00:30:53,001
Good, thank you.
715
00:30:53,034 --> 00:30:55,003
Jesus Christ.
716
00:30:55,036 --> 00:30:56,071
Hey, man, you Jim?
717
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:59,040
Yes, sir.
Okay. Um...
718
00:30:59,073 --> 00:31:00,375
So you got your stuff?
719
00:31:00,408 --> 00:31:02,077
Yeah.
Follow me.
720
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,542
Following.
721
00:31:05,246 --> 00:31:08,016
Hey, man. I'm a security
enforcement specialist,
722
00:31:08,049 --> 00:31:10,716
not a valet.
I can't hear you.
723
00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:19,892
I am beautiful, I am kind,
I am smart.
724
00:31:21,829 --> 00:31:23,064
[TEXT WHOOSHES]
725
00:31:23,097 --> 00:31:26,501
Hey, what is it you guys
do around here anyway?
726
00:31:26,534 --> 00:31:28,436
Uh, telemarketing.
727
00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:29,304
No shit?
728
00:31:29,337 --> 00:31:31,673
This is where they sell me
Viagra.
729
00:31:31,706 --> 00:31:32,307
[CHUCKLES]
730
00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:35,243
Yeah, no Viagra here.
Well, not yet at least.
731
00:31:35,276 --> 00:31:37,312
Just, cable...
Not that I need it.
732
00:31:37,345 --> 00:31:40,279
...Internet, phone, you know.
733
00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:42,750
Oh, fuck.
734
00:31:42,783 --> 00:31:44,416
Oh, boy.
735
00:31:45,219 --> 00:31:47,589
Say, Jim, is it?
Yes, sir.
736
00:31:47,622 --> 00:31:52,127
Let me ask you something,
how's your Internet connection?
737
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:52,594
So-so.
738
00:31:52,627 --> 00:31:53,761
So-so? That's not good.
739
00:31:53,794 --> 00:31:56,631
That's not good.
Uh, TV, phone?
740
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:59,434
Oh, I see what you're doing.
741
00:31:59,467 --> 00:32:00,702
It depends
on if you're buying.
742
00:32:00,735 --> 00:32:03,338
No, I don't really have time
for the tube, you know.
743
00:32:03,371 --> 00:32:05,640
I'm just kind of tied up
with this stuff.
744
00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:09,244
Right. Speaking of which,
how we looking?
745
00:32:09,277 --> 00:32:10,812
You know... Ah.
746
00:32:10,845 --> 00:32:12,480
I brought the wrong tool bag,
747
00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,749
I'm gonna have run back
out to the van.
748
00:32:14,782 --> 00:32:16,549
Okay, all right.
749
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,359
So, I mean, how long is that
gonna be? I have...
750
00:32:24,392 --> 00:32:25,760
I got a date tonight, so...
751
00:32:25,793 --> 00:32:28,463
Oh, lucky fucker.
Yeah.
752
00:32:28,496 --> 00:32:30,231
About 10-15 minutes tops.
753
00:32:30,264 --> 00:32:32,534
I'll be right back.
Okay.
754
00:32:32,567 --> 00:32:34,669
10-15, 10-15.
755
00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:36,368
Shit.
756
00:32:38,606 --> 00:32:40,441
What the fuck?
757
00:32:40,474 --> 00:32:42,374
Come on, dude...
758
00:32:42,677 --> 00:32:44,212
[WEAPON WHOOSHES]
759
00:32:44,245 --> 00:32:45,480
[KASEY THUDS]
760
00:32:45,513 --> 00:32:47,680
[RINGING]
761
00:32:51,319 --> 00:32:52,885
[GROANS]
762
00:32:53,521 --> 00:32:54,920
Fuck.
763
00:32:56,824 --> 00:32:57,592
Jesus.
764
00:32:57,625 --> 00:33:00,826
[♪♪♪♪♪]
765
00:33:06,801 --> 00:33:08,701
What the fuck?
766
00:33:10,404 --> 00:33:11,773
Big Fred?
767
00:33:11,806 --> 00:33:15,441
No. Rise and shine.
768
00:33:17,211 --> 00:33:18,379
Oh, shit.
769
00:33:18,412 --> 00:33:21,216
Are you from the Payday Loan?
770
00:33:21,249 --> 00:33:22,350
Hey.
771
00:33:22,383 --> 00:33:23,885
Um...
772
00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:24,686
Hey, man, look.
773
00:33:24,719 --> 00:33:27,255
I can get you your money,
I swear.
774
00:33:27,288 --> 00:33:30,656
Just don't cut off my dick.
775
00:33:33,494 --> 00:33:34,862
I'm Asa.
776
00:33:34,895 --> 00:33:37,029
Asa Ellenbogen.
777
00:33:37,698 --> 00:33:39,867
How you doing, Kasey Miller?
778
00:33:39,900 --> 00:33:44,503
Or-or should I say, Phil French?
779
00:33:44,639 --> 00:33:46,741
Oh, you've got to be
fucking kidding me.
780
00:33:46,774 --> 00:33:49,775
No, I-I'm not kidding you.
781
00:33:50,478 --> 00:33:52,313
Where's the electrician?
782
00:33:52,346 --> 00:33:53,712
Oh.
783
00:33:53,981 --> 00:33:55,917
Well, let's just say, uh,
784
00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:58,953
he probably won't be
coming back.
785
00:33:58,986 --> 00:34:00,552
Fuck.
786
00:34:01,355 --> 00:34:02,724
Okay, give me my phone, dude.
787
00:34:02,757 --> 00:34:06,525
Where's my phone?
Looking for this?
788
00:34:07,495 --> 00:34:07,962
Shit!
789
00:34:07,995 --> 00:34:10,598
More like a big old brick
with a computer,
790
00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,301
camera, Interwebs,
what have you.
791
00:34:13,334 --> 00:34:16,638
I-I'm gonna keep this
in my pocket for you.
792
00:34:16,671 --> 00:34:18,206
Okay.
793
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:18,840
Okay, man.
794
00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,842
I don't know what kind of game
you're playing here,
795
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:26,648
but, um, let's just call it even
and go our separate ways.
796
00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:29,315
Go our separate ways?
797
00:34:29,417 --> 00:34:32,618
We was just getting to know
each other.
798
00:34:33,254 --> 00:34:37,792
Unlike you,
I'm a man of my word.
799
00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:38,826
Hey, look man, just listen.
800
00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:40,695
I wish I could say
the same for you.
801
00:34:40,728 --> 00:34:42,830
Look, I get it,
I tried to sell you,
802
00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:45,600
a-and that's on me,
I'm so sorry about that.
803
00:34:45,633 --> 00:34:47,702
But I was in
a real bad position.
804
00:34:47,735 --> 00:34:48,670
I was in a fucked-up spot.
805
00:34:48,703 --> 00:34:50,738
I had to pay back
this Payday loan
806
00:34:50,771 --> 00:34:52,006
because I lost a contest.
807
00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:53,541
Oh, well, that's a shame.
808
00:34:53,574 --> 00:34:57,578
How about if you was
to hook me up
809
00:34:57,611 --> 00:35:00,481
with the
cable-Internet-phone bundle,
810
00:35:00,514 --> 00:35:02,450
free for life, would you win?
811
00:35:02,483 --> 00:35:06,485
With the NFL Sunday Ticket
included?
812
00:35:07,888 --> 00:35:10,491
I can't--
Of course you can't!
813
00:35:10,524 --> 00:35:13,728
[♪♪♪♪♪]
814
00:35:13,761 --> 00:35:15,663
You know,
while you were sleeping,
815
00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:21,002
I was thinking of all the fun
ways I could lay you off.
816
00:35:21,035 --> 00:35:24,272
You know, when you hang around
this place long enough,
817
00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:26,474
you develop quite the
active imagination. Yeah.
818
00:35:26,507 --> 00:35:29,911
You ever imagine you'd be tied
to your office chair
819
00:35:29,944 --> 00:35:32,413
with some old coot
on disability
820
00:35:32,446 --> 00:35:35,450
with a fucking gun
to your head?
821
00:35:35,483 --> 00:35:36,484
You know, to be fair,
822
00:35:36,517 --> 00:35:38,820
death threats happen all the
time, it's a part of the job.
823
00:35:38,853 --> 00:35:42,657
But no, this is the first time
that it actually--
824
00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:45,927
Oh, first time
someone actually did it?
825
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,660
Yeah. That about sums it up.
826
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,098
Hey, look, man, listen.
827
00:35:50,131 --> 00:35:52,834
About this whole pretending
to be your friend thing.
828
00:35:52,867 --> 00:35:55,803
My dead friend.
Uh, yeah.
829
00:35:55,836 --> 00:35:56,671
Yup, because he's dead,
830
00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:59,374
your dead friend thing
with the funny name.
831
00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:03,842
Phil French.
Oh, he was adopted, jackass.
832
00:36:04,111 --> 00:36:05,413
Yeah, I know, and for that
833
00:36:05,446 --> 00:36:07,315
I am so sorry, about
the adoption and everything.
834
00:36:07,348 --> 00:36:10,852
I had nothing to do with the
adoption, but I'm sorry anyway.
835
00:36:10,885 --> 00:36:13,054
Are you now?
Yeah, truly. You know,
836
00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:15,723
my grandfather,
he used to say,
837
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:18,059
this country was not built on--
838
00:36:18,092 --> 00:36:22,530
Stop selling for once
in your goddamn life.
839
00:36:22,563 --> 00:36:25,066
Do you even know how to have
a normal conversation?
840
00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:27,869
Well, damn it, Asa, under
normal circumstances, yes.
841
00:36:27,902 --> 00:36:29,804
But this ain't exactly
normal now, is it?
842
00:36:29,837 --> 00:36:33,107
In fact, I'll have you know,
that people around this office,
843
00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:35,543
they call me the king
at conversations.
844
00:36:35,576 --> 00:36:38,012
Yeah. Words are my tools.
845
00:36:38,045 --> 00:36:38,980
Yeah?
Yeah.
846
00:36:39,013 --> 00:36:40,815
Words are your sales tools.
847
00:36:40,848 --> 00:36:43,050
I'm talking about real talk.
848
00:36:43,083 --> 00:36:44,452
Here, now.
849
00:36:44,485 --> 00:36:47,422
Let's start
with a simple question.
850
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,956
Why?
851
00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:50,458
Why what?
852
00:36:50,491 --> 00:36:51,692
Why'd you do it, Kasey?
853
00:36:51,725 --> 00:36:53,895
Look, I told you already.
Come on, man.
854
00:36:53,928 --> 00:36:56,697
I told you, I had to pay back
a debt, you know?
855
00:36:56,730 --> 00:36:59,033
For what?
For a, um...
856
00:36:59,066 --> 00:37:02,470
For a ring, you know.
An engagement ring.
857
00:37:02,503 --> 00:37:05,737
This girl,
she's the love of my life.
858
00:37:06,407 --> 00:37:08,810
Am I supposed to feel all warm
and squishy inside?
859
00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:12,046
Look, I tell you what, let me
just go to my car and I'll--
860
00:37:12,079 --> 00:37:14,046
You ain't going nowhere.
861
00:37:15,716 --> 00:37:17,916
Liar, liar.
862
00:37:18,085 --> 00:37:19,854
Okay, hey. Hey, hey, look.
863
00:37:19,887 --> 00:37:22,156
My monitor, my Instagram is up.
864
00:37:22,189 --> 00:37:23,024
Just no B.S., no lies.
865
00:37:23,057 --> 00:37:25,660
Right there. Just hit a key.
Just hit a key?
866
00:37:25,693 --> 00:37:27,395
Where do I see it?
It's right there,
867
00:37:27,428 --> 00:37:28,529
on the top corner right there.
868
00:37:28,562 --> 00:37:29,831
Well,
what am I looking at?
869
00:37:29,864 --> 00:37:32,934
That's her.
That's her, right there.
870
00:37:32,967 --> 00:37:34,769
Well, ain't no mention of you.
871
00:37:34,802 --> 00:37:37,672
Well, you know, we like to keep
our relationship low.
872
00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:39,707
Like Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
Bet when you found out
873
00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,042
they were together
you were beside yourself.
874
00:37:41,075 --> 00:37:45,446
Well, lookie here. In her
status, it says she's single.
875
00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:47,882
Dang, is that what that says?
That's what that says.
876
00:37:47,915 --> 00:37:52,086
Single, ready to mingle.
Yeah, you see my point, though?
877
00:37:52,119 --> 00:37:53,354
I do.
See my point?
878
00:37:53,387 --> 00:37:56,557
It's some more bullshit,
that's the point.
879
00:37:56,590 --> 00:37:58,125
I don't know what that is.
880
00:37:58,158 --> 00:38:01,462
Look, let's play a game.
881
00:38:01,495 --> 00:38:04,866
You like contests, Kasey?
Fuck. Um...
882
00:38:04,899 --> 00:38:06,968
What kind of contests
we talking?
883
00:38:07,001 --> 00:38:10,404
Now, I'm gonna give you
one hour
884
00:38:10,437 --> 00:38:13,875
to apologize
on behalf of yourself
885
00:38:13,908 --> 00:38:16,210
and, well, all you wretched
scum-sucking
886
00:38:16,243 --> 00:38:18,679
telemarketing
sales leeches,
887
00:38:18,712 --> 00:38:20,848
to apologize to as many
888
00:38:20,881 --> 00:38:22,950
of these people as you can.
[TAPS KNIFE ON PAPER]
889
00:38:22,983 --> 00:38:27,088
You want me to call the people
on the do not call list
890
00:38:27,121 --> 00:38:30,458
and apologize
on behalf of the people
891
00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:31,526
who made them want to be put
892
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,995
on the do not call list
in the first place?
893
00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:36,063
And you didn't even
take a note.
894
00:38:36,096 --> 00:38:38,332
I don't think
they're gonna be too receptive.
895
00:38:38,365 --> 00:38:42,036
Which can be a problem
for people seeking forgiveness,
896
00:38:42,069 --> 00:38:43,638
it's true,
but that doesn't mean
897
00:38:43,671 --> 00:38:46,707
you don't need to be
forgiven, Kasey.
898
00:38:46,740 --> 00:38:48,140
I guess.
899
00:38:49,043 --> 00:38:50,177
You guess.
900
00:38:50,210 --> 00:38:51,479
Well, don't you think
901
00:38:51,512 --> 00:38:54,782
that if you wronged someone
and you know it,
902
00:38:54,815 --> 00:38:56,717
that you have to seek
forgiveness?
903
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:58,653
That you have
a responsibility?
904
00:38:58,686 --> 00:39:00,521
[SOBBING] Okay, man,
now this is starting to sound
905
00:39:00,554 --> 00:39:03,558
a lot like Sunday School,
and I hate Sunday School.
906
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,493
Sister Johnson was my teacher,
she had no legs,
907
00:39:05,526 --> 00:39:08,996
she used to make me carry her
around like a backpack.
908
00:39:09,029 --> 00:39:09,697
[SOBBING]
909
00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:14,099
This is the night
of your redemption, Kasey.
910
00:39:14,568 --> 00:39:17,238
If you can get just one person
911
00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:20,005
to accept your apology...
912
00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:23,775
then you can go home.
913
00:39:23,844 --> 00:39:28,583
Now, you see,
the choice is all yours.
914
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:31,852
Okay, um,
what if they don't accept?
915
00:39:31,885 --> 00:39:37,823
Well, then you can give
my very best to Phil French.
916
00:39:38,826 --> 00:39:40,926
Let's get to dialing.
917
00:39:43,263 --> 00:39:44,832
Oh, I'm so fucked.
918
00:39:44,865 --> 00:39:45,600
I'm so fucked.
919
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:48,169
Now.
Okay, all right.
920
00:39:48,202 --> 00:39:50,071
Oh, shit!
921
00:39:50,104 --> 00:39:51,005
Goddamn it, man!
922
00:39:51,038 --> 00:39:54,308
You son of a bitch,
you shot Big Fred.
923
00:39:54,341 --> 00:39:55,610
Apologies to Fred.
924
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:58,579
At least now
he knows it's loaded.
925
00:39:58,612 --> 00:39:59,914
All right, man.
926
00:39:59,947 --> 00:40:02,650
Speakerphone. Speakerphone.
Okay, okay.
927
00:40:02,683 --> 00:40:05,684
[LINE TRILLING]
Oh...
928
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,289
Give it your best.
929
00:40:08,322 --> 00:40:09,757
MAN:
Yeah, who this?
930
00:40:09,790 --> 00:40:10,858
Congratulations.
931
00:40:10,891 --> 00:40:14,061
You have been personally
selected to receive
932
00:40:14,094 --> 00:40:16,897
a once-in-a-lifetime apology.
933
00:40:16,930 --> 00:40:21,302
On behalf of myself
as well as all telemarketers
934
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,238
around the whole globe.
935
00:40:24,271 --> 00:40:25,206
Huh?
Um...
936
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,977
We are deeply sorry for all
of our past transgressions.
937
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:31,979
You tripping.
[LINE HUMS]
938
00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:33,347
So that's your approach?
939
00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:35,316
Maybe I should just
shoot you now,
940
00:40:35,349 --> 00:40:36,951
put you out of your misery.
941
00:40:36,984 --> 00:40:38,586
No, no, look, look.
942
00:40:38,619 --> 00:40:39,820
To be fair,
I'm not in my element.
943
00:40:39,853 --> 00:40:42,289
And RIP Big Fred,
you know what I mean?
944
00:40:42,322 --> 00:40:45,359
I miss you, my nigga.
I gotta get focused.
945
00:40:45,392 --> 00:40:49,597
It's showtime, you motherfucker.
You ain't shit, yes I am.
946
00:40:49,630 --> 00:40:51,098
Dial!
Okay, okay.
947
00:40:51,131 --> 00:40:53,668
[LINE TRILLING]
[SIGHS]
948
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:55,770
Hey, how you doing there,
Mrs. Goldfarb,
949
00:40:55,803 --> 00:40:58,039
how's this evening
treating you?
950
00:40:58,072 --> 00:40:59,273
Fine. What is this about?
951
00:40:59,306 --> 00:41:01,208
I want to apologize
on behalf of myself
952
00:41:01,241 --> 00:41:04,045
and all the telemarketers that
may have contacted you
953
00:41:04,078 --> 00:41:07,615
and called your mobile
or your home phone in the past.
954
00:41:07,648 --> 00:41:10,718
Do you, um, accept our apology?
955
00:41:10,751 --> 00:41:13,788
You've got to be kidding me.
No, okay.
956
00:41:13,821 --> 00:41:15,923
I'm not kidding you.
Let's start there.
957
00:41:15,956 --> 00:41:17,024
This is a very serious thing.
958
00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:19,260
Do you accept our apology?
I'm hanging up now.
959
00:41:19,293 --> 00:41:22,763
No, no, please, don't hang up.
Okay, I'm losing my thread here.
960
00:41:22,796 --> 00:41:25,099
I want to give you something
deep and personal.
961
00:41:25,132 --> 00:41:27,768
William, there's some creep
on the phone.
962
00:41:27,801 --> 00:41:30,004
You're in big trouble now,
mister.
963
00:41:30,037 --> 00:41:31,338
WILLIAM:
Look here, you piece of shit.
964
00:41:31,371 --> 00:41:33,974
Fuck me.
I advise you to hang up now,
965
00:41:34,007 --> 00:41:35,076
or I'm gonna shove my shotgun
966
00:41:35,109 --> 00:41:36,877
down your throat
and make an omelet
967
00:41:36,910 --> 00:41:40,381
with your goddamn tonsils,
you freak.
968
00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:42,283
And I deserve that, sir.
969
00:41:42,316 --> 00:41:43,150
I truly do deserve that.
970
00:41:43,183 --> 00:41:45,319
You have yourself
a blessed evening.
971
00:41:45,352 --> 00:41:46,120
[LINE HUMS]
972
00:41:46,153 --> 00:41:49,356
You know, my wife used
to get these kinds of calls,
973
00:41:49,389 --> 00:41:53,728
but she was kinder than me.
She was too kind.
974
00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,831
You know, she used to think
about you kids
975
00:41:56,864 --> 00:41:59,433
in places like this
trying to make ends meet.
976
00:41:59,466 --> 00:42:05,740
Kind of made her a perfect prey
for the vultures.
977
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:10,277
You'd call the house,
you'd call her cell phone.
978
00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:13,013
You'd sell, sell, sell
and she'd buy,
979
00:42:13,046 --> 00:42:17,382
buy, buy, and then we'd fight.
980
00:42:18,952 --> 00:42:21,155
I'm sorry about that, sir.
981
00:42:21,188 --> 00:42:22,921
No, you ain't.
982
00:42:23,891 --> 00:42:25,693
What's your girlfriend's
name again?
983
00:42:25,726 --> 00:42:27,128
The one that says
she's single?
984
00:42:27,161 --> 00:42:29,964
Uh, again, that was just
a misunderstanding,
985
00:42:29,997 --> 00:42:33,134
we're actually together, I just
want to let you know that.
986
00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:35,970
Yeah? Christine.
Her name is Christine.
987
00:42:36,003 --> 00:42:37,705
Let's say a miracle
were to happen,
988
00:42:37,738 --> 00:42:39,940
and the two of you
were to get hitched.
989
00:42:39,973 --> 00:42:45,279
Now, if she bought a load
of crap every day on the phone,
990
00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:47,348
would that be good
for your marriage?
991
00:42:47,381 --> 00:42:49,316
Uh, to be fair,
she is her own woman,
992
00:42:49,349 --> 00:42:51,786
and I wouldn't have a say
in the matter.
993
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,354
But if she spent
all your money?
994
00:42:53,387 --> 00:42:57,491
[CHUCKLES] Well, you know,
a psychologist in this town
995
00:42:57,524 --> 00:42:58,993
makes a lot of money, so...
996
00:42:59,026 --> 00:43:02,830
Now, I'm gonna give you one more
chance to answer my question.
997
00:43:02,863 --> 00:43:04,999
Would you want
your future wife
998
00:43:05,032 --> 00:43:09,901
to buy a load of crap
from people like you?
999
00:43:10,871 --> 00:43:12,838
No, sir, I would not.
1000
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,277
Well, that's the first honest
thing you've said all night.
1001
00:43:16,310 --> 00:43:18,910
[POLICE SIREN CHIRPS
IN DISTANCE]
1002
00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:21,313
[SIREN CHIRPS]
1003
00:43:23,050 --> 00:43:26,251
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1004
00:43:27,921 --> 00:43:28,856
Goddamn it.
1005
00:43:28,889 --> 00:43:32,424
Listen, you're gonna get rid
of this guy.
1006
00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:37,295
Go get, get, get.
Okay. Okay.
1007
00:43:42,336 --> 00:43:46,040
I swear to Christ, if you
fucking make a run for it,
1008
00:43:46,073 --> 00:43:46,974
I'll follow you down,
1009
00:43:47,007 --> 00:43:48,909
and I'll blow a hole
in your fucking spine.
1010
00:43:48,942 --> 00:43:51,879
If that cop comes this way,
I'll blow a hole in his spine.
1011
00:43:51,912 --> 00:43:55,149
Okay, okay, fine,
so what should I tell him then?
1012
00:43:55,182 --> 00:43:58,385
Just tap into that
active imagination.
1013
00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:00,652
Okay, I'll just lie to him.
1014
00:44:01,054 --> 00:44:02,621
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1015
00:44:07,361 --> 00:44:12,297
Good evening. I didn't see you
there, this glass door.
1016
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:14,935
[DOOR CLOSES]
We, um, got a report
1017
00:44:14,968 --> 00:44:16,303
about a shot fired in the area.
1018
00:44:16,336 --> 00:44:17,471
Have you heard anything?
1019
00:44:17,504 --> 00:44:19,139
A shot fired?
Yeah.
1020
00:44:19,172 --> 00:44:20,040
In this building?
1021
00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:23,010
Wow, it's such a peaceful
community building.
1022
00:44:23,043 --> 00:44:24,478
You know, um, no.
1023
00:44:24,511 --> 00:44:26,113
Oh! Now I understand.
1024
00:44:26,146 --> 00:44:30,017
It must've been the cherry bomb.
Was it the cherry bomb?
1025
00:44:30,050 --> 00:44:31,218
Cherry bomb?
1026
00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:32,586
It was a cherry bomb, yeah.
1027
00:44:32,619 --> 00:44:34,221
You know it's not
the 4th of July, right?
1028
00:44:34,254 --> 00:44:37,191
It's not the 4th of July,
and I know that.
1029
00:44:37,224 --> 00:44:41,195
Um, you know,
we're telemarketers, right?
1030
00:44:41,228 --> 00:44:43,464
We work late sometimes,
1031
00:44:43,497 --> 00:44:44,832
and we play pranks
on each other
1032
00:44:44,865 --> 00:44:50,101
to build the morale
around the office, you know?
1033
00:44:50,404 --> 00:44:52,072
Yeah, we know.
1034
00:44:52,105 --> 00:44:53,040
So who else is here?
1035
00:44:53,073 --> 00:44:55,309
Oh, just me.
I know what you're thinking.
1036
00:44:55,342 --> 00:44:57,311
I'm, like, you know,
I'm the team leader,
1037
00:44:57,344 --> 00:44:58,946
so they look up to me,
so when I'm here alone,
1038
00:44:58,979 --> 00:45:02,383
I still do the pranks
to keep up the tradition.
1039
00:45:02,416 --> 00:45:04,184
You know what I mean?
1040
00:45:04,217 --> 00:45:06,217
Yeah.
Yeah.
1041
00:45:08,221 --> 00:45:09,390
All right.
Yeah.
1042
00:45:09,423 --> 00:45:11,592
Well, um, no more cherry bombs.
1043
00:45:11,625 --> 00:45:14,028
Ah. You got it. You know?
1044
00:45:14,061 --> 00:45:16,363
Hey, um, you guys--
1045
00:45:16,396 --> 00:45:19,466
You guys sell Internet here,
right?
1046
00:45:19,499 --> 00:45:20,234
Yes, we do.
1047
00:45:20,267 --> 00:45:23,003
My two teens
are just obsessed
1048
00:45:23,036 --> 00:45:25,472
with goddamn
online gaming.
1049
00:45:25,505 --> 00:45:26,607
Just killing my bandwidth.
1050
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,310
Think I need one of those, um--
Those fiber optics?
1051
00:45:29,343 --> 00:45:30,311
Fiber optics.
Yeah.
1052
00:45:30,344 --> 00:45:33,180
You guys got
any special deals or...?
1053
00:45:33,213 --> 00:45:34,014
I'm so sorry, sir,
1054
00:45:34,047 --> 00:45:37,282
your timing could not
have been worse.
1055
00:45:38,352 --> 00:45:40,986
But you know something?
1056
00:45:41,321 --> 00:45:42,423
I'm sorry for that.
1057
00:45:42,456 --> 00:45:43,590
I'm sorry
for your inconvenience.
1058
00:45:43,623 --> 00:45:47,461
In fact, I want to apologize
on behalf of all telemarketers,
1059
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,630
all over the world.
1060
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:52,430
So do you forgive us?
1061
00:45:54,935 --> 00:45:56,070
Uh, sure.
1062
00:45:56,103 --> 00:45:57,671
All right.
Sure whatever.
1063
00:45:57,704 --> 00:45:59,139
That is so great to hear.
1064
00:45:59,172 --> 00:46:00,441
No more cherry bombs.
1065
00:46:00,474 --> 00:46:02,242
[LAUGHS]
No more cherry bombs.
1066
00:46:02,275 --> 00:46:04,078
I love you.
That's weird.
1067
00:46:04,111 --> 00:46:06,177
[DOOR CLOSES]
1068
00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:09,283
You heard, right?
Yes, I did.
1069
00:46:09,316 --> 00:46:12,586
Okay, I apologized on behalf
of all telemarketers,
1070
00:46:12,619 --> 00:46:13,487
and he accepted.
1071
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,355
Yeah, but it wasn't
on the phone.
1072
00:46:17,491 --> 00:46:20,027
That's our arrangement.
Come on, man!
1073
00:46:20,060 --> 00:46:20,995
You wreak havoc on the phone,
1074
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,663
you make things right
on the phone.
1075
00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:26,031
Shit!
Excuse me?
1076
00:46:26,266 --> 00:46:29,603
I'm saying, you know,
I gotta take a shit. I--
1077
00:46:29,636 --> 00:46:31,071
I've been
so backed up lately.
1078
00:46:31,104 --> 00:46:34,572
I've been trying
to eat my carrots...
1079
00:46:38,445 --> 00:46:39,380
Four minutes.
1080
00:46:39,413 --> 00:46:42,182
Really? You're timing my poops?
1081
00:46:42,215 --> 00:46:43,417
Three minutes.
1082
00:46:43,450 --> 00:46:44,685
Come on, dude,
I'm backed up.
1083
00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:46,887
I don't know how long
it's gonna...
1084
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,024
This is some unconstitutional
shit, literally.
1085
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,091
Okay?
Mm-hm.
1086
00:46:51,124 --> 00:46:53,527
Hey, uh, mind if I use
your phone?
1087
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,097
Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead, man.
Just gotta dial 9 at the desk.
1088
00:46:57,130 --> 00:46:58,098
You know, you can't call Mexico,
1089
00:46:58,131 --> 00:47:00,000
because sometimes
it gets a little wonky.
1090
00:47:00,033 --> 00:47:02,236
I mean the one in your pocket.
1091
00:47:02,269 --> 00:47:04,736
In my pocket?
1092
00:47:05,605 --> 00:47:07,041
What?
1093
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,474
Oh, my God.
1094
00:47:09,776 --> 00:47:11,378
That's crazy.
1095
00:47:11,411 --> 00:47:13,580
Two minutes, 45 seconds.
1096
00:47:13,613 --> 00:47:15,480
Shit, okay.
1097
00:47:16,216 --> 00:47:20,251
[EXHALES]
Okay. Okay, think.
1098
00:47:20,787 --> 00:47:22,556
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1099
00:47:22,589 --> 00:47:25,657
What would Bruce Willis do?
1100
00:47:28,161 --> 00:47:28,729
Oh, shit.
1101
00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,697
ASA: Clock's ticking, Kasey!
Fuck.
1102
00:47:30,730 --> 00:47:33,133
Yeah, I'm...
1103
00:47:33,166 --> 00:47:35,702
It's something I ate, man.
1104
00:47:35,735 --> 00:47:37,471
[QUIETLY]
Fuck, Kasey!
1105
00:47:37,504 --> 00:47:39,006
ASA:
Don't make me come in there
1106
00:47:39,039 --> 00:47:42,373
and shoot you
while you're shitting!
1107
00:47:46,346 --> 00:47:48,847
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1108
00:47:51,418 --> 00:47:53,518
[TAP WATER RUNS]
1109
00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:00,427
Kasey!
1110
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:02,527
[PANTING]
1111
00:48:04,664 --> 00:48:06,531
Yeah.
1112
00:48:07,167 --> 00:48:08,733
Okay.
1113
00:48:12,205 --> 00:48:15,609
[SCOFFS]
It's bad in there.
1114
00:48:15,642 --> 00:48:16,243
Get.
1115
00:48:16,276 --> 00:48:17,611
I had to wipe
from front to back.
1116
00:48:17,644 --> 00:48:20,211
ASA:
Oh, good for you.
1117
00:48:26,186 --> 00:48:28,188
What you looking at?
1118
00:48:28,221 --> 00:48:28,822
This bullshit.
1119
00:48:28,855 --> 00:48:31,158
ASA:
Looks like you all want to be
1120
00:48:31,191 --> 00:48:33,794
the next Big Red,
don't you?
1121
00:48:33,827 --> 00:48:36,763
Fred, it's Big Fred.
1122
00:48:36,796 --> 00:48:37,664
Was he good?
1123
00:48:37,697 --> 00:48:40,400
Well, they say he sold
the downtown Marriott, so...
1124
00:48:40,433 --> 00:48:42,736
Well, that must've been
some commission.
1125
00:48:42,769 --> 00:48:45,272
Yeah, and they didn't pay him
in halos either.
1126
00:48:45,305 --> 00:48:49,209
Looks like Barry
is the next Fred.
1127
00:48:49,242 --> 00:48:50,775
No.
1128
00:48:51,211 --> 00:48:55,115
That's beginner's luck,
unfortunately.
1129
00:48:55,148 --> 00:48:56,583
Well, now...
1130
00:48:56,616 --> 00:49:01,155
if it had have happened
like that,
1131
00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,290
we'd have never met.
1132
00:49:03,323 --> 00:49:05,957
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1133
00:49:11,131 --> 00:49:13,464
[LINE TRILLING]
1134
00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:17,804
Hello, Miss Daniels.
1135
00:49:17,837 --> 00:49:19,506
[DIAL TONE BUZZES]
1136
00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:20,240
She hung up.
1137
00:49:20,273 --> 00:49:22,543
All right, loser,
dial another.
1138
00:49:22,576 --> 00:49:23,343
Come on, Asa.
1139
00:49:23,376 --> 00:49:25,379
Really? How much longer
we doing this for, huh?
1140
00:49:25,412 --> 00:49:27,514
That attitude
will get you fired.
1141
00:49:27,547 --> 00:49:28,582
You don't get it, man.
1142
00:49:28,615 --> 00:49:32,152
This isn't me.
I don't really do this.
1143
00:49:32,185 --> 00:49:33,220
Do what?
1144
00:49:33,253 --> 00:49:34,421
You know, call up--
Call up people
1145
00:49:34,454 --> 00:49:36,190
and pretend to be
their dead friend.
1146
00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:38,559
You don't understand.
No, I understand perfectly.
1147
00:49:38,592 --> 00:49:40,160
You want to buy
a ring for a girl
1148
00:49:40,193 --> 00:49:42,796
who doesn't even want
to put your goddamn name
1149
00:49:42,829 --> 00:49:44,862
on her Snapperface.
1150
00:49:44,931 --> 00:49:47,267
Now, oh, and keep it on
speakerphone.
1151
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:51,436
No more gimmicks, no more lies.
Come on.
1152
00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:53,574
Dial.
1153
00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:55,873
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
Wait.
1154
00:49:57,611 --> 00:50:00,847
Ooh. Message from Christine.
1155
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:01,515
Really?
1156
00:50:01,548 --> 00:50:07,852
"You are the worst person ever
for not calling me back.
1157
00:50:08,288 --> 00:50:09,289
"Never call me again.
1158
00:50:09,322 --> 00:50:13,894
In fact, you can erase
my number."
1159
00:50:13,927 --> 00:50:17,598
Ooh. Snap, crackle, pop.
1160
00:50:17,631 --> 00:50:19,800
She said-- She--
She wrote all that?
1161
00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:23,770
Indeed. I guess Bey-Z 2.0
ended after all.
1162
00:50:23,803 --> 00:50:26,640
Okay, look, look, look, look.
Keep me locked up.
1163
00:50:26,673 --> 00:50:29,176
That's fine. I just--
I just need to text her back,
1164
00:50:29,209 --> 00:50:30,444
because if I don't
text her back,
1165
00:50:30,477 --> 00:50:31,912
she'll think something's wrong,
and it is.
1166
00:50:31,945 --> 00:50:33,480
You're trying to kill me,
you know, so...
1167
00:50:33,513 --> 00:50:37,718
We'll probably just prolong
the inevitable, you know.
1168
00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:41,755
Seen it all too often,
see how guys like you end up.
1169
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:46,557
Alone, nothing but your lies.
1170
00:50:46,693 --> 00:50:49,861
Why don't you go ahead
and dial?
1171
00:50:50,397 --> 00:50:52,063
Put a smile on.
1172
00:50:55,001 --> 00:50:57,735
[HITS BUTTONS]
[DIAL TONE BUZZES]
1173
00:51:02,342 --> 00:51:04,876
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
1174
00:51:05,345 --> 00:51:07,381
WOMAN: Hello?
Hello, ma'am.
1175
00:51:07,414 --> 00:51:11,685
I'm calling on behalf
of telemarketers everywhere.
1176
00:51:11,718 --> 00:51:13,954
Kasey, is that you?
1177
00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:15,222
Uh, yes, it is.
1178
00:51:15,255 --> 00:51:19,426
Your voice sounds different,
but I recognized the number.
1179
00:51:19,459 --> 00:51:22,727
I never did get
my Rick James wig.
1180
00:51:25,398 --> 00:51:26,833
Mrs. Hanks, hi.
1181
00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:29,436
Um, yeah, about that.
1182
00:51:29,469 --> 00:51:30,837
I am so sorry.
1183
00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:31,471
Sorry?
1184
00:51:31,504 --> 00:51:33,340
Young man, I think I owe you
an apology
1185
00:51:33,373 --> 00:51:35,442
for that video
that's been going around.
1186
00:51:35,475 --> 00:51:39,713
That granddaughter of mine
is too darn overprotective,
1187
00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:41,481
watches me like a hawk.
1188
00:51:41,514 --> 00:51:42,449
Hell, I'm surprised
1189
00:51:42,482 --> 00:51:43,984
you were able to call me
on this old line
1190
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:47,321
since you put me on that,
what's it called?
1191
00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:48,855
The "do not call" list.
1192
00:51:48,888 --> 00:51:50,590
Yeah, that's the one.
1193
00:51:50,623 --> 00:51:52,559
I'm glad you did anyways.
1194
00:51:52,592 --> 00:51:55,696
You're helping
to keep America safe.
1195
00:51:55,729 --> 00:51:56,797
Such a sweet young man.
1196
00:51:56,830 --> 00:51:59,399
I was hoping to get a chance
to see you.
1197
00:51:59,432 --> 00:52:01,735
Thank you, you're, uh...
You're sweet too.
1198
00:52:01,768 --> 00:52:03,868
Listen, I...
1199
00:52:05,271 --> 00:52:08,840
The reason I'm calling is
because I, um...
1200
00:52:12,512 --> 00:52:15,613
The reason I'm calling is...
1201
00:52:17,450 --> 00:52:21,755
Actually, ma'am,
I'm just calling to say hi.
1202
00:52:21,788 --> 00:52:24,558
Well, thank you, Kasey.
1203
00:52:24,591 --> 00:52:26,760
Thank you, ma'am.
You have a good night.
1204
00:52:26,793 --> 00:52:31,662
Well, you have a great night
too. Okay, bye-bye.
1205
00:52:32,332 --> 00:52:33,865
Bye.
1206
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:39,639
Well, ain't that something,
Kasey Miller.
1207
00:52:39,672 --> 00:52:45,812
I have never witnessed something
so genuinely touching,
1208
00:52:45,845 --> 00:52:47,981
so genuinely heartfelt,
1209
00:52:48,014 --> 00:52:53,954
and yet somehow
so thoroughly disgusting
1210
00:52:53,987 --> 00:52:55,655
in all my days.
1211
00:52:55,688 --> 00:52:58,759
I mean, taking advantage
of a little old lady?
1212
00:52:58,792 --> 00:53:02,062
You are some piece of work.
1213
00:53:02,095 --> 00:53:02,963
I'm hungry.
1214
00:53:02,996 --> 00:53:05,031
Where the hell's the kitchen?
1215
00:53:05,064 --> 00:53:06,533
In the back.
1216
00:53:06,566 --> 00:53:09,903
I hope you like Red Vines
and Kit Kats.
1217
00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:11,371
Yeah, whatever.
1218
00:53:11,404 --> 00:53:13,940
No funny business.
I'll be right back.
1219
00:53:13,973 --> 00:53:17,475
Can you bring me back a Fresca?
1220
00:53:18,411 --> 00:53:20,013
Well, there.
1221
00:53:20,046 --> 00:53:23,748
[ALUMINUM SNACK BAG CRINKLING]
1222
00:53:31,157 --> 00:53:32,924
Fuck.
1223
00:53:37,063 --> 00:53:38,930
Shit.
1224
00:53:51,945 --> 00:53:52,813
Fuck.
1225
00:53:52,846 --> 00:53:56,082
Fats! They're trying
to assassinate me!
1226
00:53:56,115 --> 00:53:58,683
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1227
00:54:02,088 --> 00:54:04,121
Found another tool.
1228
00:54:06,025 --> 00:54:09,563
Wild guess.
You're not the maintenance guy.
1229
00:54:09,596 --> 00:54:11,097
Gold star for you.
1230
00:54:11,130 --> 00:54:13,166
My dad texted you.
1231
00:54:13,199 --> 00:54:15,666
Said he was gonna kill you?
1232
00:54:15,902 --> 00:54:18,572
You didn't text back.
That's rude.
1233
00:54:18,605 --> 00:54:20,073
Now you're running off on him?
1234
00:54:20,106 --> 00:54:22,909
Is it too late
to text him back now?
1235
00:54:22,942 --> 00:54:24,144
Oh, yeah, come on.
1236
00:54:24,177 --> 00:54:25,145
Okay.
U-turn.
1237
00:54:25,178 --> 00:54:26,480
I can hit him back right now.
1238
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,181
I'll hit him back
right now.
1239
00:54:28,214 --> 00:54:31,117
I'll send, like,
funny emojis.
1240
00:54:31,150 --> 00:54:32,652
I got a few gifs.
1241
00:54:32,685 --> 00:54:36,587
Is it gifs or is it jifs?
The time for that is gone.
1242
00:54:39,225 --> 00:54:42,796
ASA: Now, you shouldn't have
run off like that, Kasey.
1243
00:54:42,829 --> 00:54:45,999
Just when I was
warming up to you.
1244
00:54:46,032 --> 00:54:47,968
I see you met my son.
1245
00:54:48,001 --> 00:54:48,668
Yeah.
1246
00:54:48,701 --> 00:54:50,871
ASA:
You said he can get a job here.
1247
00:54:50,904 --> 00:54:53,173
Remember that, Phil French?
1248
00:54:53,206 --> 00:54:54,140
Right.
1249
00:54:54,173 --> 00:54:57,077
I say we go big
on this one, Dad.
1250
00:54:57,110 --> 00:54:58,812
Let's take him to the boat.
1251
00:54:58,845 --> 00:55:01,948
Gut him like a fish,
dump him in the bay.
1252
00:55:01,981 --> 00:55:03,049
He's a telemarketer.
1253
00:55:03,082 --> 00:55:07,087
Yeah, maybe that's where
we end up at.
1254
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,020
I don't know.
1255
00:55:09,689 --> 00:55:13,627
I say we give him
one last chance at redemption.
1256
00:55:13,660 --> 00:55:15,795
DEAN:
Redemption?
1257
00:55:15,828 --> 00:55:17,030
ASA:
Yes, redemption.
1258
00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:18,231
To show us he's learned
his lesson.
1259
00:55:18,264 --> 00:55:21,468
Now, that sounds like
a "get out of jail free" card.
1260
00:55:21,501 --> 00:55:22,936
Where was my redemption
last month
1261
00:55:22,969 --> 00:55:24,704
when I was locked up in county?
1262
00:55:24,737 --> 00:55:25,205
Remember?
1263
00:55:25,238 --> 00:55:27,807
Parole violation?
You wouldn't bail me out!
1264
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:28,608
No, no, no!
1265
00:55:28,641 --> 00:55:32,679
You needed to be taught
a lesson, just like Kasey,
1266
00:55:32,712 --> 00:55:33,580
and that's what we call
1267
00:55:33,613 --> 00:55:35,715
deterrence theory.
Huh?
1268
00:55:35,748 --> 00:55:38,151
Fear of extreme measures
taken to prevent
1269
00:55:38,184 --> 00:55:41,154
the reoccurrence
of a particular offense.
1270
00:55:41,187 --> 00:55:43,657
But if we kill him now,
1271
00:55:43,690 --> 00:55:47,825
wouldn't that prevent
a recurrence of an offense?
1272
00:55:48,595 --> 00:55:52,232
Well, yes it would,
but if we take his life,
1273
00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:55,101
I want to be sure
we had no choice.
1274
00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:57,203
Okay, I'm so sorry about this,
1275
00:55:57,236 --> 00:55:59,105
I hate to interrupt
such a strong
1276
00:55:59,138 --> 00:56:00,607
and very warm family moment.
1277
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,677
However, Dean,
if you kill me,
1278
00:56:03,710 --> 00:56:05,879
that is in direct violation
of your parole.
1279
00:56:05,912 --> 00:56:07,681
You saying you gonna
snitch me out?
1280
00:56:07,714 --> 00:56:10,617
Man, I can't snitch
if I'm dead. I'm just sayin'.
1281
00:56:10,650 --> 00:56:12,586
Now, son, son, son.
1282
00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:13,553
Okay.
1283
00:56:13,586 --> 00:56:14,988
What'd you do that for?
1284
00:56:15,021 --> 00:56:16,089
You're a fucking hothead
1285
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:17,757
with nothing but bricks
for brains.
1286
00:56:17,790 --> 00:56:19,593
That's how you got caught
in the first place.
1287
00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:21,628
I got caught because
of that bitch-ass snitch!
1288
00:56:21,661 --> 00:56:23,129
A snitch you aligned yourself
with--
1289
00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:27,832
Yeah, I aligned this
to his fucking dome, bam!
1290
00:56:28,201 --> 00:56:29,836
Allegedly.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
1291
00:56:29,869 --> 00:56:30,870
I didn't hear nothing.
1292
00:56:30,903 --> 00:56:32,205
That's right.
Hold the phone.
1293
00:56:32,238 --> 00:56:33,607
DEAN:
What? What?
1294
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,042
What's this here,
on the Face what's-its?
1295
00:56:36,075 --> 00:56:37,777
What is it?
The Face what's-it?
1296
00:56:37,810 --> 00:56:39,079
Who's calling you?
1297
00:56:39,112 --> 00:56:41,081
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER VIDEO]
1298
00:56:41,114 --> 00:56:44,348
[SPECTATORS CHEER AND WHOOP]
1299
00:56:45,852 --> 00:56:47,287
Yo, what's up, bitches?
1300
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,788
Check it out,
this boo-yeah face.
1301
00:56:53,226 --> 00:56:54,060
Drunkards.
1302
00:56:54,093 --> 00:56:56,029
KASEY: Drunkards.
And naked womens.
1303
00:56:56,062 --> 00:56:57,297
Yeah, that's what
it looks like.
1304
00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:59,866
That's a labia, right there.
Where are you?
1305
00:56:59,899 --> 00:57:01,134
Yeah, that's definitely
a labia.
1306
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:04,304
Barry wants an encore!
Oh, no.
1307
00:57:04,337 --> 00:57:05,839
[DRUNKEN LAUGHTER]
1308
00:57:05,872 --> 00:57:06,973
I'm practically engaged.
1309
00:57:07,006 --> 00:57:11,845
He leads a Sunday School choir
when he's not at the strip club
1310
00:57:11,878 --> 00:57:13,013
and, uh, slapping them cheeks.
1311
00:57:13,046 --> 00:57:16,781
Come back when you're
practically married.
1312
00:57:17,283 --> 00:57:20,117
Yeah!
Yeah!
1313
00:57:20,620 --> 00:57:21,788
That brings back
some memories.
1314
00:57:21,821 --> 00:57:23,990
Yeah, you mean the time
you was banned?
1315
00:57:24,023 --> 00:57:27,027
Come on, like I'm the first guy
to use a counterfeit 20
1316
00:57:27,060 --> 00:57:28,028
for a lap dance?
1317
00:57:28,061 --> 00:57:29,195
That's actually
pretty genius.
1318
00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:31,131
Yeah, you like that?
She's pretty good.
1319
00:57:31,164 --> 00:57:33,733
Enough! Keep your eye on him.
1320
00:57:33,766 --> 00:57:35,301
My blood sugar's going to shit.
1321
00:57:35,334 --> 00:57:37,702
KASEY:
That's pretty good.
1322
00:57:37,770 --> 00:57:38,838
Let me ask you something, man.
1323
00:57:38,871 --> 00:57:41,708
Are you up to speed
with what your dad's doing?
1324
00:57:41,741 --> 00:57:42,709
Totally.
Really?
1325
00:57:42,742 --> 00:57:46,346
Because all of this for a damn
apology seems a bit much, right?
1326
00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:48,114
ASA:
I can hear you.
1327
00:57:48,147 --> 00:57:48,715
Shit.
1328
00:57:48,748 --> 00:57:51,115
ASA:
I suggest you make calls.
1329
00:57:51,417 --> 00:57:53,620
Dad, how long am I supposed
to give him?
1330
00:57:53,653 --> 00:57:55,720
ASA:
Thirty minutes!
1331
00:57:55,988 --> 00:57:56,823
So better start dialing.
1332
00:57:56,856 --> 00:58:01,459
My hands are tied, literally,
so...
1333
00:58:02,995 --> 00:58:04,097
Just one hand.
1334
00:58:04,130 --> 00:58:07,133
Don't try anything.
I won't. I just...
1335
00:58:07,166 --> 00:58:08,935
Come on.
1336
00:58:08,968 --> 00:58:10,303
Ow. Oh, Jesus.
1337
00:58:10,336 --> 00:58:11,638
Son of a bitch.
1338
00:58:11,671 --> 00:58:14,874
Okay, now just cut
the other one loose.
1339
00:58:14,907 --> 00:58:16,676
No? All right, that's fair.
1340
00:58:16,709 --> 00:58:17,811
You think I'm stupid?
1341
00:58:17,844 --> 00:58:20,146
Is that a trick question?
1342
00:58:20,179 --> 00:58:22,346
[LAUGHS]
1343
00:58:23,683 --> 00:58:24,984
I'm so-- It's really hard.
1344
00:58:25,017 --> 00:58:26,986
As you can see,
this is such a...
1345
00:58:27,019 --> 00:58:29,386
Yeah, you have to figure it out.
1346
00:58:29,989 --> 00:58:32,058
Thought you're supposed to be
good at this.
1347
00:58:32,091 --> 00:58:33,927
There we go, let me just...
1348
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:34,994
There you go, perfect.
1349
00:58:35,027 --> 00:58:36,896
You're making this complicated
for both of us.
1350
00:58:36,929 --> 00:58:39,199
You look good though.
Thank you very much.
1351
00:58:39,232 --> 00:58:41,901
That gun is making me
very nervous, man,
1352
00:58:41,934 --> 00:58:43,136
I'm just saying--
1353
00:58:43,169 --> 00:58:45,305
[DIALING]
Dial faster. Go.
1354
00:58:45,338 --> 00:58:49,974
[BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING]
[ADA HUMMING]
1355
00:58:56,482 --> 00:58:59,119
My pops really knows
how to hold a grudge.
1356
00:58:59,152 --> 00:59:01,187
I'm right there with you,
you know what I mean?
1357
00:59:01,220 --> 00:59:03,423
I survived my dad,
and phew, yeah.
1358
00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:04,858
He a hard ass?
1359
00:59:04,891 --> 00:59:06,259
Oh, you have no idea.
1360
00:59:06,292 --> 00:59:07,093
You know, he was--
1361
00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:09,796
Well, he started out
as a prosecutor,
1362
00:59:09,829 --> 00:59:10,864
and now he's a judge, you know.
1363
00:59:10,897 --> 00:59:13,767
I blink in the wrong direction,
I'm sweating bullets.
1364
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:14,734
No shit?
No shit.
1365
00:59:14,767 --> 00:59:16,436
And he wants you
to follow in his footsteps?
1366
00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:19,739
Well, I don't think
I'd do too well in court.
1367
00:59:19,772 --> 00:59:21,975
[WHISPERS]
Neither would I.
1368
00:59:22,008 --> 00:59:24,210
[BOTH LAUGH]
1369
00:59:24,243 --> 00:59:26,212
I didn't.
Yeah, I know.
1370
00:59:26,245 --> 00:59:27,781
You've made
some mistakes.
1371
00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:29,182
Just a couple.
Yeah.
1372
00:59:29,215 --> 00:59:32,452
You know, for me,
telemarketing is just a job.
1373
00:59:32,485 --> 00:59:34,220
I'm good at it, so...
1374
00:59:34,253 --> 00:59:36,489
Law school didn't work out,
and now here I am.
1375
00:59:36,522 --> 00:59:39,025
You know, look, man, I...
I get it.
1376
00:59:39,058 --> 00:59:41,060
You got a job to do here.
1377
00:59:41,093 --> 00:59:42,962
So I'm willing to bet
1378
00:59:42,995 --> 00:59:48,034
that we can overlook
all of your past transgressions,
1379
00:59:48,067 --> 00:59:49,769
all the felonies,
1380
00:59:49,802 --> 00:59:50,503
the-- The-- The murders,
1381
00:59:50,536 --> 00:59:53,473
the rapes, probably,
I'm assuming,
1382
00:59:53,506 --> 00:59:55,074
the kidnaps,
things like that.
1383
00:59:55,107 --> 00:59:56,109
You know what I'm saying?
1384
00:59:56,142 --> 00:59:57,877
I don't know
anything about that.
1385
00:59:57,910 --> 00:59:58,478
Yeah, me either.
1386
00:59:58,511 --> 00:59:59,979
Hell, you can be
an ax murderer. Heh.
1387
01:00:00,012 --> 01:00:02,448
As long as you can sell,
you're hired.
1388
01:00:02,481 --> 01:00:04,450
Shit, I'll help you
hide the ax.
1389
01:00:04,483 --> 01:00:05,451
What ax?
1390
01:00:05,484 --> 01:00:08,888
[LAUGHS]
I know. I ain't seen shit.
1391
01:00:08,921 --> 01:00:11,121
You are good.
1392
01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:12,792
And I'm no salesman.
1393
01:00:12,825 --> 01:00:17,027
You sure ain't the maintenance,
but you could've fooled me.
1394
01:00:17,196 --> 01:00:18,965
I hate telemarketers.
1395
01:00:18,998 --> 01:00:21,201
I want to kill telemarketers.
Is that right?
1396
01:00:21,234 --> 01:00:25,071
If I was a telemarketer,
I'd have to kill myself.
1397
01:00:25,104 --> 01:00:27,807
Makes perfect sense.
I don't wanna kill myself.
1398
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:29,342
Yeah.
Not yet.
1399
01:00:29,375 --> 01:00:30,109
[LAUGHS]
1400
01:00:30,142 --> 01:00:31,544
When the time comes.
Yeah.
1401
01:00:31,577 --> 01:00:34,113
You'll be ready.
Yeah.
1402
01:00:34,146 --> 01:00:34,914
Yeah.
1403
01:00:34,947 --> 01:00:37,248
[BLUE GRASS MUSIC CONTINUES]
1404
01:00:40,386 --> 01:00:43,387
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1405
01:00:44,190 --> 01:00:46,292
KASEY:
I was this close to becoming
1406
01:00:46,325 --> 01:00:48,027
top salesman
of the month tonight.
1407
01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:51,264
This close. And I was gonna take
my girl out and celebrate,
1408
01:00:51,297 --> 01:00:55,068
and pretend to like salmon
as much as I like steak,
1409
01:00:55,101 --> 01:00:58,071
and she would call me out
because she's the only one
1410
01:00:58,104 --> 01:01:01,005
that can see
through my bullshit.
1411
01:01:01,207 --> 01:01:06,079
Then we'd laugh,
and then I'd propose.
1412
01:01:06,112 --> 01:01:07,313
Aw.
1413
01:01:07,346 --> 01:01:09,380
Does she know?
1414
01:01:09,482 --> 01:01:11,317
Kasey, if you just
told my dad the truth,
1415
01:01:11,350 --> 01:01:13,887
he would've bought
the stupid triple play.
1416
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,923
He's a romantic at heart.
1417
01:01:16,956 --> 01:01:19,089
[HUMMING]
1418
01:01:22,228 --> 01:01:25,131
He would've understood.
She would've gotten that ring,
1419
01:01:25,164 --> 01:01:26,566
you would've gotten that bonus,
1420
01:01:26,599 --> 01:01:28,534
and dad would've canceled
after a month,
1421
01:01:28,567 --> 01:01:31,001
so everybody would've won.
1422
01:01:32,238 --> 01:01:34,672
Woulda, shoulda, coulda.
1423
01:01:35,107 --> 01:01:36,476
You got a picture
of that lady?
1424
01:01:36,509 --> 01:01:40,413
Uh, yeah,
actually on my phone.
1425
01:01:40,446 --> 01:01:42,148
Of course.
Yeah.
1426
01:01:42,181 --> 01:01:45,151
You better do that.
Be careful, now.
1427
01:01:45,184 --> 01:01:48,855
One look at her,
premature ejaculation.
1428
01:01:48,888 --> 01:01:50,290
It happens to me
all the time.
1429
01:01:50,323 --> 01:01:51,858
Let's put it
to the test.
1430
01:01:51,891 --> 01:01:54,427
Oh, Kasey.
Yeah.
1431
01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:56,029
She's a hottie.
1432
01:01:56,062 --> 01:01:56,930
Yes, sir. Heh.
1433
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,498
You need a towel?
[BOTH LAUGH]
1434
01:01:58,531 --> 01:02:00,366
Yeah, in a couple minutes.
1435
01:02:00,399 --> 01:02:01,868
Wow!
1436
01:02:01,901 --> 01:02:03,369
You love her?
1437
01:02:03,402 --> 01:02:05,104
More than anything.
1438
01:02:05,137 --> 01:02:05,939
You know what?
1439
01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:11,544
I'm gonna show this to my dad,
and talk to him about this.
1440
01:02:11,577 --> 01:02:12,879
You serious?
1441
01:02:12,912 --> 01:02:14,147
Yeah, he loved my mom.
1442
01:02:14,180 --> 01:02:15,515
He might understand this.
1443
01:02:15,548 --> 01:02:17,517
Fuck, man, that'd be great.
Your little love story.
1444
01:02:17,550 --> 01:02:20,219
Oh, man, this'll be--
Oh, come on. This is great.
1445
01:02:20,252 --> 01:02:22,386
Yeah. Great, yeah.
1446
01:02:23,055 --> 01:02:24,490
Just gotta promise me
one thing.
1447
01:02:24,523 --> 01:02:26,292
Don't try and escape.
1448
01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:28,058
Really?
1449
01:02:28,694 --> 01:02:29,462
How about this.
1450
01:02:29,495 --> 01:02:31,998
There's a headset,
right over there.
1451
01:02:32,031 --> 01:02:34,267
You grab that,
I'll still make calls.
1452
01:02:34,300 --> 01:02:36,102
You can listen
the whole time.
1453
01:02:36,135 --> 01:02:37,470
This one?
That right there.
1454
01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:38,671
That's the only one there,
1455
01:02:38,704 --> 01:02:40,273
so it had to be that one.
1456
01:02:40,306 --> 01:02:41,541
[EXHALES]
1457
01:02:41,574 --> 01:02:42,375
Oh, my God.
1458
01:02:42,408 --> 01:02:45,111
Oh, my God, when did Superman
become a telemarketer?
1459
01:02:45,144 --> 01:02:46,145
Damn it, you look natural.
1460
01:02:46,178 --> 01:02:48,114
[LAUGHS]
Well, you look good.
1461
01:02:48,147 --> 01:02:49,349
All right.
This is your desk here.
1462
01:02:49,382 --> 01:02:52,018
I'm gonna go talk to my dad.
Talk to your daddy.
1463
01:02:52,051 --> 01:02:53,353
Talk to that motherfucker.
1464
01:02:53,386 --> 01:02:56,923
Fuck being a telemarketer,
you're about to be a model, huh?
1465
01:02:56,956 --> 01:02:58,091
[LAUGHS]
1466
01:02:58,124 --> 01:02:59,690
Pops.
1467
01:03:00,226 --> 01:03:01,294
Check this out.
1468
01:03:01,327 --> 01:03:02,261
That's his girlfriend.
1469
01:03:02,294 --> 01:03:04,230
What are you doing
with his goddamn phone?
1470
01:03:04,263 --> 01:03:07,164
DEAN:
He gave it to me.
1471
01:03:09,602 --> 01:03:12,005
Ha-ha. Looking all good.
1472
01:03:12,038 --> 01:03:15,041
I don't know who I like more,
my girl or you,
1473
01:03:15,074 --> 01:03:17,508
you pretty motherfucker.
1474
01:03:17,643 --> 01:03:21,712
Blue eyes,
looking all colonizer and shit.
1475
01:03:22,281 --> 01:03:23,349
Oh, shit.
1476
01:03:23,382 --> 01:03:26,383
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1477
01:03:27,353 --> 01:03:29,386
Yeah, there's more.
1478
01:03:30,122 --> 01:03:31,691
Hold on.
1479
01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:33,059
Hey!
Yeah?
1480
01:03:33,092 --> 01:03:34,160
Keep dialing!
Yeah! Yeah!
1481
01:03:34,193 --> 01:03:35,962
Work the phones, Kasey!
Gotcha!
1482
01:03:35,995 --> 01:03:39,599
Ha-ha, just out here
trying to save my life, man.
1483
01:03:39,632 --> 01:03:40,733
Y'all know how it is.
1484
01:03:40,766 --> 01:03:44,635
Ah, it's a Thursday for y'all,
you know.
1485
01:03:45,204 --> 01:03:47,240
[DIALING]
1486
01:03:47,273 --> 01:03:48,741
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
1487
01:03:48,774 --> 01:03:52,045
MAN: Hello?
Good evening, Mr. Wilson.
1488
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:53,279
Who is this?
1489
01:03:53,312 --> 01:03:55,648
Uh, sir, you don't know me,
1490
01:03:55,681 --> 01:03:59,419
but, uh, I work for TeleWin.
1491
01:03:59,452 --> 01:04:01,320
Are you a telemarketer?
1492
01:04:01,353 --> 01:04:02,455
Yes, sir, I am. I am.
1493
01:04:02,488 --> 01:04:05,625
But, I know it's late,
but please don't hang up.
1494
01:04:05,658 --> 01:04:09,495
Now first, I just want to say
I'm sorry for my conduct
1495
01:04:09,528 --> 01:04:13,366
on behalf of all
the telemarketers.
1496
01:04:13,399 --> 01:04:15,699
I might get a photo.
1497
01:04:16,602 --> 01:04:17,770
[CAMERA CLICKS]
1498
01:04:17,803 --> 01:04:18,704
Mr. Wilson?
1499
01:04:18,737 --> 01:04:20,440
Is this some kind of a joke?
1500
01:04:20,473 --> 01:04:22,442
No, sir, I assure you,
this is no joke.
1501
01:04:22,475 --> 01:04:24,777
In fact, I'm not trying
to sell you anything.
1502
01:04:24,810 --> 01:04:28,414
Get one with me in it.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
1503
01:04:28,447 --> 01:04:29,248
[LAUGHS]
1504
01:04:29,281 --> 01:04:31,751
Sir, I've been a shit person,
okay?
1505
01:04:31,784 --> 01:04:37,256
Now, I ask that you
please accept my apology.
1506
01:04:37,289 --> 01:04:37,757
Please.
1507
01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:39,092
I swear, if I ever
dropped a fake 20
1508
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:43,062
on a lap dance with her,
you have permission to shoot me.
1509
01:04:43,095 --> 01:04:43,563
What?
1510
01:04:43,596 --> 01:04:46,566
You shouldn't be dropping
fake 20s on no one.
1511
01:04:46,599 --> 01:04:47,767
You gotta be shitting me.
1512
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,703
No, sir, I'm not shitting you,
I'm not.
1513
01:04:50,736 --> 01:04:52,836
You're not shitting me.
1514
01:04:53,339 --> 01:04:54,207
Okay, I guess.
1515
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:58,311
Okay? I'm so sorry, sir.
Can you please repeat that?
1516
01:04:58,344 --> 01:05:00,179
Deaf? I just said okay.
1517
01:05:00,212 --> 01:05:03,116
Yes! Yes, you hear that?
1518
01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:05,418
He said okay! He said okay!
1519
01:05:05,451 --> 01:05:06,619
Fuck, yes, sir.
Thank you.
1520
01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:08,688
What the hell
is going on here?
1521
01:05:08,721 --> 01:05:10,089
God bless you, sir.
God bless you.
1522
01:05:10,122 --> 01:05:11,824
God bless your kids,
God bless your grandkids.
1523
01:05:11,857 --> 01:05:15,661
Even if they have fucking weird
names like Sunflower and Woody,
1524
01:05:15,694 --> 01:05:20,133
or some bullshit like that.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
1525
01:05:20,166 --> 01:05:23,233
Suck my dick!
1526
01:05:23,869 --> 01:05:26,770
They don't call me the king
for nothing.
1527
01:05:27,473 --> 01:05:28,741
What?
"What?"
1528
01:05:28,774 --> 01:05:30,710
"What? What?"
The fuck you mean what?
1529
01:05:30,743 --> 01:05:32,612
[STAMMERING]
You were listening.
1530
01:05:32,645 --> 01:05:34,514
I didn't hear anything.
1531
01:05:34,547 --> 01:05:35,748
[STAMMERING]
On the fucking--
1532
01:05:35,781 --> 01:05:38,718
I gave you the headset!
I didn't hear a damn thing!
1533
01:05:38,751 --> 01:05:40,453
You calling me a liar?
No--
1534
01:05:40,486 --> 01:05:42,788
Well... fuck it,
give it to me.
1535
01:05:42,821 --> 01:05:45,622
What do you mean
you didn't hear it?
1536
01:05:48,861 --> 01:05:51,197
You didn't turn it on, man.
1537
01:05:51,230 --> 01:05:53,530
I fucking had it.
1538
01:05:54,533 --> 01:05:58,571
I fucking had it, man!
I fucking had it!
1539
01:05:58,604 --> 01:05:59,672
Well...
1540
01:05:59,705 --> 01:06:02,475
I mean, if an apology's
made in the forest
1541
01:06:02,508 --> 01:06:05,478
and there's no one there
to hear it, then...
1542
01:06:05,511 --> 01:06:06,779
We're not in the forest, Pops.
1543
01:06:06,812 --> 01:06:11,448
I'll explain it
to you later, son.
1544
01:06:11,817 --> 01:06:14,518
Go on, do another.
1545
01:06:15,621 --> 01:06:19,690
Oh, now, don't tell me
you's a quitter.
1546
01:06:19,825 --> 01:06:25,295
Where's that relentless bravado,
that mighty perseverance?
1547
01:06:25,664 --> 01:06:27,133
I have no idea, man.
1548
01:06:27,166 --> 01:06:28,634
Out to lunch.
1549
01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:30,601
Fucking gone.
1550
01:06:33,372 --> 01:06:34,540
Come on, now.
1551
01:06:34,573 --> 01:06:38,008
Fuck.
Dean likes you.
1552
01:06:38,444 --> 01:06:39,812
I want you to make
a good impression.
1553
01:06:39,845 --> 01:06:43,683
Now, go on,
give it another go.
1554
01:06:43,716 --> 01:06:45,782
[DOOR OPENS]
1555
01:06:46,518 --> 01:06:49,689
BARRY: I'm gonna be paying for
that stripper's dry cleaning.
1556
01:06:49,722 --> 01:06:51,457
CHRISTINE:
And the $150 room bill,
1557
01:06:51,490 --> 01:06:55,592
but you know,
happens to the best of us.
1558
01:06:56,428 --> 01:06:57,496
What the hell, Kasey?
1559
01:06:57,529 --> 01:06:59,966
What in the H-E-double
hockey sticks
1560
01:06:59,999 --> 01:07:02,235
are you still doing here,
buddy?
1561
01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:03,202
Barry, Christine.
1562
01:07:03,235 --> 01:07:07,440
It's so good to see you both.
Uh, what's up?
1563
01:07:07,473 --> 01:07:08,741
What's up is,
1564
01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:10,576
I met this sweet little...
1565
01:07:10,609 --> 01:07:12,945
[WHISPERS]
...tenderoni outside.
1566
01:07:12,978 --> 01:07:14,180
[LAUGHS]
1567
01:07:14,213 --> 01:07:15,948
At the strip club?
Yeah.
1568
01:07:15,981 --> 01:07:17,350
No!
1569
01:07:17,383 --> 01:07:18,251
Outside.
1570
01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:20,653
You bailed on dinner
and then you didn't text me.
1571
01:07:20,686 --> 01:07:21,787
I mean, it's not like you.
1572
01:07:21,820 --> 01:07:24,624
Oh, you know,
I've just kind of been tied up.
1573
01:07:24,657 --> 01:07:27,460
Oh, well, I would say
you left her hanging
1574
01:07:27,493 --> 01:07:30,429
like an iguana
in the Sahara Desert.
1575
01:07:30,462 --> 01:07:31,197
No.
1576
01:07:31,230 --> 01:07:35,201
Okay, well, you're not dead
or cheating.
1577
01:07:35,234 --> 01:07:37,868
So, what's up?
1578
01:07:39,271 --> 01:07:40,706
Barry, man,
what are you doing here?
1579
01:07:40,739 --> 01:07:44,508
You should-- You know,
you should probably go.
1580
01:07:46,545 --> 01:07:47,546
I want you to have this.
1581
01:07:47,579 --> 01:07:49,415
[WHISPERS]
Barry, come on, bro.
1582
01:07:49,448 --> 01:07:51,217
Barry...
No, no, listen.
1583
01:07:51,250 --> 01:07:53,686
It's only right, okay?
1584
01:07:53,719 --> 01:07:54,987
I came all the way here,
1585
01:07:55,020 --> 01:07:59,022
and I was gonna put a nice
little sticky note on it.
1586
01:08:00,259 --> 01:08:00,926
But here you are.
1587
01:08:00,959 --> 01:08:05,264
So, I mean, I guess the surprise
factor is kind of kaput.
1588
01:08:05,297 --> 01:08:06,232
Yeah, I guess you can say
1589
01:08:06,265 --> 01:08:08,467
I'm done with surprises
for tonight.
1590
01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,236
Aren't we all?
KASEY: Look, babe, I messed up.
1591
01:08:10,269 --> 01:08:12,438
I came to work today, I was
gonna catch up on some sales,
1592
01:08:12,471 --> 01:08:16,442
you know, and then I guess
I got caught up, I messed up.
1593
01:08:16,475 --> 01:08:18,642
As usual.
1594
01:08:18,911 --> 01:08:20,813
Baby, you should go.
1595
01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:22,248
You know, I don't--
1596
01:08:22,281 --> 01:08:23,349
This ain't for me anymore.
1597
01:08:23,382 --> 01:08:24,817
I'm an asshole, so--
No.
1598
01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:25,718
You're not an asshole.
1599
01:08:25,751 --> 01:08:27,286
Yes, you treat everything
in your life
1600
01:08:27,319 --> 01:08:30,323
like it's a sale to be made,
which is fucking annoying.
1601
01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,391
But you always call, okay?
1602
01:08:32,424 --> 01:08:36,093
That's what I love about you.
You always call.
1603
01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:51,377
Okay, um, we're gonna go.
1604
01:08:51,410 --> 01:08:53,577
KASEY: Yeah.
Yeah.
1605
01:08:54,313 --> 01:08:54,814
No.
1606
01:08:54,847 --> 01:08:56,215
Yeah, Barry, let's go.
Wait, no.
1607
01:08:56,248 --> 01:08:57,516
I want to leave this
for the guru.
1608
01:08:57,549 --> 01:09:00,019
Barry, we need to go.
We need to go-- Barry!
1609
01:09:00,052 --> 01:09:03,756
Hey! Hey, don't you fucking
touch her, man!
1610
01:09:03,789 --> 01:09:06,590
Oh, my God!
Hey!
1611
01:09:06,759 --> 01:09:10,563
Asa. Hey, hey.
This is going way too far, man.
1612
01:09:10,596 --> 01:09:12,965
Oh, says the man who spews
bullshit all day
1613
01:09:12,998 --> 01:09:14,066
to innocent people.
1614
01:09:14,099 --> 01:09:16,035
The man who pretends
to be my dead friend
1615
01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:18,504
in order to sell
a triple play.
1616
01:09:18,537 --> 01:09:19,405
Yeah, sure, Asa.
1617
01:09:19,438 --> 01:09:25,142
I, uh-- I pretended to be
your dead friend to make a sale.
1618
01:09:25,511 --> 01:09:28,044
Have you never been
lied to before?
1619
01:09:28,113 --> 01:09:29,315
Let me ask you something, Asa.
1620
01:09:29,348 --> 01:09:32,351
You remember watching
TV commercials as a kid, right?
1621
01:09:32,384 --> 01:09:37,888
You don't think they lied to get
you to buy the toy you wanted?
1622
01:09:38,090 --> 01:09:41,327
You get home and get
your Rock'em Sock'em Robot
1623
01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:42,695
or whatever it is,
fresh out the box.
1624
01:09:42,728 --> 01:09:45,598
And you look at it,
and it don't quite look,
1625
01:09:45,631 --> 01:09:49,635
or feel, or work the way
it does on TV.
1626
01:09:49,668 --> 01:09:52,071
I'm pretty sure you didn't go
to Mattel headquarters
1627
01:09:52,104 --> 01:09:56,342
with a .44 and light up
the customer service rep.
1628
01:09:56,375 --> 01:09:57,977
How about a little perspective
here, Asa?
1629
01:09:58,010 --> 01:09:59,945
This is the free market
at work, man!
1630
01:09:59,978 --> 01:10:02,648
This is what our country
was founded on!
1631
01:10:02,681 --> 01:10:04,350
Damn it, this is America!
1632
01:10:04,383 --> 01:10:06,950
Sit the fuck down.
1633
01:10:07,119 --> 01:10:08,954
Um, just so I'm clear,
1634
01:10:08,987 --> 01:10:11,824
this is over
some silly sales call?
1635
01:10:11,857 --> 01:10:13,657
Shut up.
1636
01:10:13,859 --> 01:10:16,362
A silly sales call?
1637
01:10:16,395 --> 01:10:18,531
I don't think so.
1638
01:10:18,564 --> 01:10:19,832
I think we have some idea, Asa.
1639
01:10:19,865 --> 01:10:21,901
Your wife used to get called
by telemarketers,
1640
01:10:21,934 --> 01:10:27,037
and then you two would fight
about it, and it made you mad.
1641
01:10:28,941 --> 01:10:32,876
My wife died because of it.
1642
01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:36,048
I told her...
1643
01:10:36,081 --> 01:10:37,650
"Don't ever talk and drive."
1644
01:10:37,683 --> 01:10:38,818
But she wouldn't listen.
1645
01:10:38,851 --> 01:10:44,521
And the last call she ever took
was from one of you guys.
1646
01:10:45,023 --> 01:10:47,958
She lost control
of the wheel...
1647
01:10:48,460 --> 01:10:51,661
when some asshole like you...
1648
01:10:52,764 --> 01:10:55,999
was selling her car insurance!
1649
01:10:57,035 --> 01:11:02,007
I asked the FDC to put me
on the "do not call" list
1650
01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:03,843
out of respect
for her memory.
1651
01:11:03,876 --> 01:11:06,610
Right, son?
That's right.
1652
01:11:07,212 --> 01:11:10,180
You know,
the head of the agency...
1653
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:12,184
the woman appointed
by the goddamn
1654
01:11:12,217 --> 01:11:16,786
president of the United States,
she called me personally.
1655
01:11:16,855 --> 01:11:21,892
Personally, she swore to me,
up and down, left and right.
1656
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,896
"They will never
call you again.
1657
01:11:23,929 --> 01:11:26,532
Not once, not twice, not ever."
1658
01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:30,970
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
1659
01:11:31,003 --> 01:11:32,638
Guess I should have
known better.
1660
01:11:32,671 --> 01:11:35,541
Shouldn't have used
that DNC list, asshole.
1661
01:11:35,574 --> 01:11:37,641
[BARRY GROANING]
1662
01:11:40,746 --> 01:11:42,279
Dang it.
1663
01:11:42,681 --> 01:11:43,782
Must've dozed off there.
1664
01:11:43,815 --> 01:11:47,284
Oh, my God, I never had
to shit so bad! Oh!
1665
01:11:48,687 --> 01:11:50,253
[GASPS]
1666
01:11:50,589 --> 01:11:52,925
Wait. Did I miss something?
1667
01:11:52,958 --> 01:11:54,727
Yeah. Quite a lot.
1668
01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:56,095
Join our discussion.
1669
01:11:56,128 --> 01:11:58,662
What's going on?
1670
01:11:59,698 --> 01:12:01,634
You two work together, right?
1671
01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:02,701
Yeah.
1672
01:12:02,734 --> 01:12:04,734
You know why he's here?
1673
01:12:04,903 --> 01:12:08,841
I figured he stayed behind
to try to make another call.
1674
01:12:08,874 --> 01:12:09,675
And if he made it,
1675
01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:13,310
he would report it
to corporate claiming...
1676
01:12:14,546 --> 01:12:17,216
Claiming he won the $3000.
1677
01:12:17,249 --> 01:12:19,015
Bingo.
1678
01:12:19,084 --> 01:12:22,085
Must make your blood boil,
right?
1679
01:12:23,088 --> 01:12:24,957
No.
1680
01:12:24,990 --> 01:12:26,058
ASA:
No?
1681
01:12:26,091 --> 01:12:28,193
[CHUCKLES]
No.
1682
01:12:28,226 --> 01:12:30,062
Actually...
1683
01:12:30,095 --> 01:12:31,263
I feel relieved.
1684
01:12:31,296 --> 01:12:32,831
I don't feel so bad about
1685
01:12:32,864 --> 01:12:36,666
switching his call sheet
with Justin's.
1686
01:12:38,070 --> 01:12:39,672
You did what?
1687
01:12:39,705 --> 01:12:40,673
Uh-oh.
1688
01:12:40,706 --> 01:12:41,707
Hold on. Hold on.
1689
01:12:41,740 --> 01:12:43,108
So let me get this straight.
1690
01:12:43,141 --> 01:12:46,912
You cheat,
and then all this happens?
1691
01:12:46,945 --> 01:12:49,748
You have no fucking idea
what I've been through today!
1692
01:12:49,781 --> 01:12:51,784
Law of the land. Remember?
1693
01:12:51,817 --> 01:12:54,687
All I did was just
level the playing field.
1694
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,854
And you have no position
1695
01:12:55,887 --> 01:12:58,223
to be calling anybody
in here unethical
1696
01:12:58,256 --> 01:13:00,593
when you're the one
who got kicked out
1697
01:13:00,626 --> 01:13:01,894
of USC's law school
for cheating.
1698
01:13:01,927 --> 01:13:05,030
My God, I wanted to say that
all day.
1699
01:13:05,063 --> 01:13:06,930
Oh, my God.
1700
01:13:07,799 --> 01:13:09,733
Say it isn't so.
1701
01:13:09,935 --> 01:13:11,904
I mean, he's drunk.
1702
01:13:11,937 --> 01:13:12,871
I know all about it, okay?
1703
01:13:12,904 --> 01:13:15,140
Your assistant dean,
she told me about it.
1704
01:13:15,173 --> 01:13:16,842
We're in the same
church choir.
1705
01:13:16,875 --> 01:13:18,744
And the church says amen.
1706
01:13:18,777 --> 01:13:20,646
You told me you dropped out.
1707
01:13:20,679 --> 01:13:22,581
Baby, I'm-- Thank you.
1708
01:13:22,614 --> 01:13:24,781
Thank you very much, Barry.
1709
01:13:25,050 --> 01:13:28,818
Kasey, your buddy
just sold you out.
1710
01:13:29,321 --> 01:13:30,723
Hey, Pops.
Yeah, son?
1711
01:13:30,756 --> 01:13:34,159
What was it you were telling me
earlier about deterrence?
1712
01:13:34,192 --> 01:13:35,861
Deterrence theory.
1713
01:13:35,894 --> 01:13:37,961
Deterrence theory, yeah.
1714
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:40,933
Barry, I learned
something today.
1715
01:13:40,966 --> 01:13:44,970
The use of extreme actions
to prevent the reoccurrence
1716
01:13:45,003 --> 01:13:47,573
of a specific action.
Spot on, son.
1717
01:13:47,606 --> 01:13:49,842
Yeah. Kasey, do you know
the one thing
1718
01:13:49,875 --> 01:13:53,109
I detest more
than telemarketers?
1719
01:13:54,312 --> 01:13:55,614
A snitch?
1720
01:13:55,647 --> 01:13:57,747
Gold star for you.
1721
01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:00,252
[GUNSHOT]
Aah!
1722
01:14:00,285 --> 01:14:00,886
Fuck me!
1723
01:14:00,919 --> 01:14:03,856
What the fuck, man!
[SCREAMING]
1724
01:14:03,889 --> 01:14:05,858
[SOBBING]
Oh, my God!
1725
01:14:05,891 --> 01:14:08,794
You know, that's a--
That's a clean hole.
1726
01:14:08,827 --> 01:14:10,029
[GROANING]
1727
01:14:10,062 --> 01:14:13,832
Would you go clean that up
for us?
1728
01:14:13,865 --> 01:14:14,900
Me?
1729
01:14:14,933 --> 01:14:16,035
Yes, please.
1730
01:14:16,068 --> 01:14:17,102
DEAN:
Go on.
1731
01:14:17,135 --> 01:14:19,703
Go on.
ASA: Clean it up.
1732
01:14:22,307 --> 01:14:23,776
You got the-- Grab the...
1733
01:14:23,809 --> 01:14:26,876
Yeah, yeah, get the--
[BARRY SCREAMS]
1734
01:14:30,682 --> 01:14:33,018
How long do you think he's got?
I don't know.
1735
01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:36,755
I mean, I'm trying to be
a psychologist, not a doctor.
1736
01:14:36,788 --> 01:14:38,924
Put your hands on it. Yeah.
1737
01:14:38,957 --> 01:14:40,259
Isn't this perfect?
1738
01:14:40,292 --> 01:14:42,895
Now, his life is in your hands.
1739
01:14:42,928 --> 01:14:47,266
Okay, look, just let
Barry and Christine go, okay?
1740
01:14:47,299 --> 01:14:49,101
I'll come with you.
Lock me in your basement.
1741
01:14:49,134 --> 01:14:51,203
Give me your phone, I'll make
as many calls as you want,
1742
01:14:51,236 --> 01:14:54,907
I'll apologize to as many people
as you want the rest of my life.
1743
01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:57,142
Now, that'd be going too far.
1744
01:14:57,175 --> 01:15:00,746
I mean, plus the train set's
down there,
1745
01:15:00,779 --> 01:15:03,015
and Dean's man cave.
Yeah.
1746
01:15:03,048 --> 01:15:06,118
All we need
is one apology accepted.
1747
01:15:06,151 --> 01:15:08,420
Here, now,
for all to hear.
1748
01:15:08,453 --> 01:15:09,922
Now, come on.
1749
01:15:09,955 --> 01:15:12,858
Go on, just get
your "do not call" list,
1750
01:15:12,891 --> 01:15:18,931
and you best get to dialing
before you all get clocked out.
1751
01:15:18,964 --> 01:15:20,265
KASEY:
Okay.
1752
01:15:20,298 --> 01:15:22,234
Seeing as how this could
potentially be
1753
01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,901
my very last call...
1754
01:15:25,103 --> 01:15:27,339
I'm gonna need
a cup of coffee.
1755
01:15:27,372 --> 01:15:28,240
No.
1756
01:15:28,273 --> 01:15:29,174
KASEY:
Hey, now.
1757
01:15:29,207 --> 01:15:32,311
It's my pre-last call ritual,
you know.
1758
01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:34,680
Every time I make
my final call,
1759
01:15:34,713 --> 01:15:37,015
I need to have one cup
of coffee
1760
01:15:37,048 --> 01:15:41,353
from my signature
toilet bowl mug.
1761
01:15:41,386 --> 01:15:42,855
Ain't that right, rookie?
1762
01:15:42,888 --> 01:15:45,691
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
as long as I've been here.
1763
01:15:45,724 --> 01:15:47,292
DEAN: Oh, Christ.
Stop.
1764
01:15:47,325 --> 01:15:50,827
ASA: Jesus Christ.
KASEY: Yeah.
1765
01:15:50,896 --> 01:15:53,463
ASA:
You get the fucking coffee.
1766
01:15:53,865 --> 01:15:57,336
You don't strike me as someone
who'd drink out of the toilet.
1767
01:15:57,369 --> 01:15:58,036
[LAUGHS]
1768
01:15:58,069 --> 01:15:59,972
Well, I mean,
he's full of shit, so...
1769
01:16:00,005 --> 01:16:03,776
You know, I-- I tried it once,
sold a triple play,
1770
01:16:03,809 --> 01:16:05,444
so I'm not one
to argue with success.
1771
01:16:05,477 --> 01:16:07,479
All right,
here's your goddamn coffee.
1772
01:16:07,512 --> 01:16:11,047
Go ahead,
take your ritualistic sip.
1773
01:16:12,450 --> 01:16:16,989
This here is your last call.
1774
01:16:17,022 --> 01:16:18,757
This doesn't work,
1775
01:16:18,790 --> 01:16:22,125
you're going on a boat ride
with me and Dean.
1776
01:16:23,428 --> 01:16:25,528
Dial.
1777
01:16:27,499 --> 01:16:29,465
[DIALING]
1778
01:16:35,140 --> 01:16:37,974
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
1779
01:16:42,347 --> 01:16:44,447
MAN:
Yes?
1780
01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:47,283
Hello, sir, it's Kasey.
1781
01:16:48,420 --> 01:16:49,788
Yes, Kasey?
1782
01:16:49,821 --> 01:16:53,389
It's late, I'm surprised
you're still up.
1783
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:55,260
Just reading some motions.
1784
01:16:55,293 --> 01:16:57,560
Yeah, of course you are.
1785
01:16:58,797 --> 01:17:01,064
Did you need something?
1786
01:17:02,467 --> 01:17:04,567
Yeah, I was just, um...
1787
01:17:05,337 --> 01:17:07,570
You know, I've been, uh...
1788
01:17:07,906 --> 01:17:11,407
just been meaning
to talk to you, you know.
1789
01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:14,012
I already got Internet,
thank you.
1790
01:17:14,045 --> 01:17:15,814
Okay, yeah,
I guess I deserve that.
1791
01:17:15,847 --> 01:17:17,549
Um, but no, I, um...
1792
01:17:17,582 --> 01:17:21,284
there's something I've been
meaning to speak with you about.
1793
01:17:22,153 --> 01:17:23,956
Got cable and phone too.
1794
01:17:23,989 --> 01:17:24,957
I'm not...
1795
01:17:24,990 --> 01:17:26,992
Look, sir, I'm not selling.
1796
01:17:27,025 --> 01:17:28,927
Didn't know
that was possible.
1797
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,563
Sir, please, I just...
1798
01:17:31,596 --> 01:17:34,530
I just wanted to apologize.
1799
01:17:34,866 --> 01:17:37,302
I didn't know
that was possible either.
1800
01:17:37,335 --> 01:17:39,068
Come on.
1801
01:17:39,537 --> 01:17:41,273
Go on, I'm listening.
1802
01:17:41,306 --> 01:17:43,940
I just wanted to say...
1803
01:17:46,177 --> 01:17:48,278
I'm sorry.
1804
01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:52,482
I'm sorry for this dirty
business I'm in.
1805
01:17:52,550 --> 01:17:56,252
And the pain
it must cause people.
1806
01:17:56,988 --> 01:17:59,355
And that includes you.
1807
01:17:59,524 --> 01:18:01,360
I guess when you
think about it, I just...
1808
01:18:01,393 --> 01:18:05,130
was never really good
at anything, you know?
1809
01:18:05,163 --> 01:18:09,532
Sports, school, none of it.
1810
01:18:11,202 --> 01:18:13,303
But here, I'm good.
1811
01:18:13,505 --> 01:18:15,939
I'm real good, you know?
1812
01:18:16,174 --> 01:18:17,075
I can do what I want.
1813
01:18:17,108 --> 01:18:21,411
I can come and go as I please,
and nobody calls me out on it.
1814
01:18:21,613 --> 01:18:24,314
I mean, almost no one.
1815
01:18:24,449 --> 01:18:27,352
Compared to law school,
this place is amazing.
1816
01:18:27,385 --> 01:18:28,420
You see, in class...
1817
01:18:28,453 --> 01:18:32,224
In class I would just lie and
cheat my way through everything.
1818
01:18:32,257 --> 01:18:34,092
And it worked
for a little while,
1819
01:18:34,125 --> 01:18:36,962
but then you get kicked out.
1820
01:18:36,995 --> 01:18:38,130
[LAUGHS]
1821
01:18:38,163 --> 01:18:41,230
And then you end up here.
1822
01:18:42,434 --> 01:18:47,170
You see,
here I can meet people.
1823
01:18:47,672 --> 01:18:49,639
I get to know 'em.
1824
01:18:50,041 --> 01:18:53,011
And right when I got 'em
where I want 'em, I sell 'em.
1825
01:18:53,044 --> 01:18:55,280
And I sell 'em,
and I sell 'em,
1826
01:18:55,313 --> 01:18:56,481
and I sell 'em.
1827
01:18:56,514 --> 01:18:58,050
The bullshit works.
1828
01:18:58,083 --> 01:18:58,917
It works here.
1829
01:18:58,950 --> 01:19:00,485
In fact, they encourage it,
you know?
1830
01:19:00,518 --> 01:19:02,187
So much so that corporate,
you know,
1831
01:19:02,220 --> 01:19:04,990
corporate is starting
to call it the Kasey Method.
1832
01:19:05,023 --> 01:19:05,891
Can you believe that?
1833
01:19:05,924 --> 01:19:10,128
They named something after me,
the Kasey Method.
1834
01:19:10,161 --> 01:19:11,964
I lie and I cheat people,
1835
01:19:11,997 --> 01:19:14,731
and they pat me
on the back for it.
1836
01:19:15,300 --> 01:19:18,167
I don't like me because of it.
1837
01:19:19,237 --> 01:19:21,473
And I know I'm not the man
you want me to be.
1838
01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:25,675
I didn't go down the path
you wanted me to go down.
1839
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,582
For that, I'm sorry.
1840
01:19:30,615 --> 01:19:34,250
I truly am.
I am very sorry.
1841
01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:39,389
So...
1842
01:19:40,392 --> 01:19:42,258
what do you say?
1843
01:19:43,361 --> 01:19:47,330
Do you accept my apology, Dad?
1844
01:19:50,535 --> 01:19:54,106
Oh, and there's somebody I would
really like for you to meet.
1845
01:19:54,139 --> 01:19:57,342
So depending on your answer,
I think we should all hang out.
1846
01:19:57,375 --> 01:20:00,777
I think you would
really like her, you know?
1847
01:20:04,983 --> 01:20:10,486
You know, son,
I'm really happy you called.
1848
01:20:11,523 --> 01:20:14,190
Of course I forgive you.
1849
01:20:22,667 --> 01:20:25,468
CHRISTINE: No!
[GUNSHOTS]
1850
01:20:32,010 --> 01:20:34,110
[ALL GRUNTING]
1851
01:20:35,113 --> 01:20:37,280
[DEAN SCREAMS]
1852
01:20:42,220 --> 01:20:43,522
[SCREAMING]
1853
01:20:43,555 --> 01:20:44,589
KASEY:
Baby, call 911.
1854
01:20:44,622 --> 01:20:46,525
Call 911, right now!
DEAN: No!
1855
01:20:46,558 --> 01:20:49,261
No! No, I'm not going
back to jail!
1856
01:20:49,294 --> 01:20:52,628
ASA:
Shut up, you goddamn...
1857
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,734
Thanks for the mug,
rookie.
1858
01:20:55,767 --> 01:20:57,533
I try.
1859
01:20:57,669 --> 01:20:59,204
Now, since we're in
apologies mode,
1860
01:20:59,237 --> 01:21:02,507
I'm sorry there's a hole
in your leg right now.
1861
01:21:02,540 --> 01:21:03,642
[GROANING]
1862
01:21:03,675 --> 01:21:07,210
It's not your fault,
it's his.
1863
01:21:07,579 --> 01:21:09,448
Oh, no, please, I'm sorry.
1864
01:21:09,481 --> 01:21:10,782
I'm sorry!
1865
01:21:10,815 --> 01:21:14,250
[GUNSHOT]
Oh, shit!
1866
01:21:14,552 --> 01:21:16,652
Apology accepted.
1867
01:21:18,089 --> 01:21:19,257
Baby, I'm sorry I'm an asshole.
1868
01:21:19,290 --> 01:21:21,059
I'm sorry I stood you up,
you know?
1869
01:21:21,092 --> 01:21:23,562
I'm sorry for all those things.
Baby, we can do this later.
1870
01:21:23,595 --> 01:21:26,331
Apologies all around.
Everybody gets an apology.
1871
01:21:26,364 --> 01:21:28,333
ASA: Yeah,
I too am sorry for not shooting you
1872
01:21:28,366 --> 01:21:33,736
in the goddamn head
when I first laid eyes on you.
1873
01:21:37,775 --> 01:21:38,977
Hold this.
1874
01:21:39,010 --> 01:21:42,347
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1875
01:21:42,380 --> 01:21:43,846
Asa.
1876
01:21:44,115 --> 01:21:45,617
I know you got
a raw deal, man.
1877
01:21:45,650 --> 01:21:48,086
Losing the love of your life,
1878
01:21:48,119 --> 01:21:51,156
and how that must
be affecting you and Dean.
1879
01:21:51,189 --> 01:21:55,827
I'm not gonna pretend to imagine
what that must feel like.
1880
01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,362
And if I could go back in time,
1881
01:21:57,395 --> 01:21:59,831
I would really change
your circumstance, man.
1882
01:21:59,864 --> 01:22:01,731
I really would.
1883
01:22:02,433 --> 01:22:03,702
I'm sad about your wife, Asa,
1884
01:22:03,735 --> 01:22:08,273
and the role this fucked-up
telemarketing culture
1885
01:22:08,306 --> 01:22:10,206
played in it.
1886
01:22:10,475 --> 01:22:14,744
Damn it, Asa, I'm sorry, man.
I really am.
1887
01:22:16,381 --> 01:22:18,281
Kasey Miller.
1888
01:22:18,449 --> 01:22:20,185
That's all I ever wanted
from you...
1889
01:22:20,218 --> 01:22:27,290
was for you to take a good,
deep, long look at yourself.
1890
01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:31,460
I know it wasn't easy.
1891
01:22:32,697 --> 01:22:34,664
I'm proud of you.
1892
01:22:35,366 --> 01:22:38,568
I'm gonna accept your apology.
1893
01:22:41,773 --> 01:22:43,875
It still wasn't
on the phone though.
1894
01:22:43,908 --> 01:22:45,710
[DISTANT POLICE SIRENS
APPROACHING]
1895
01:22:45,743 --> 01:22:47,312
You have got to be kidding me.
1896
01:22:47,345 --> 01:22:48,480
Come on,
I'm dying over here.
1897
01:22:48,513 --> 01:22:49,848
Okay, let's get you
taken care of.
1898
01:22:49,881 --> 01:22:51,516
Take this, I don't want this.
1899
01:22:51,549 --> 01:22:52,317
You sure?
Yes.
1900
01:22:52,350 --> 01:22:53,685
Because I can kill them
right now.
1901
01:22:53,718 --> 01:22:55,120
What? No!
I'm just saying.
1902
01:22:55,153 --> 01:22:58,089
He's been talking
so much shit all day.
1903
01:22:58,122 --> 01:23:00,656
[♪♪♪♪♪]
1904
01:23:12,170 --> 01:23:14,470
That's a pretty house.
1905
01:23:14,906 --> 01:23:17,240
CHRISTINE:
Are you okay?
1906
01:23:18,343 --> 01:23:21,711
No, I'm good. I'm good.
I just, um...
1907
01:23:22,347 --> 01:23:23,515
I just...
1908
01:23:23,548 --> 01:23:24,583
[CHUCKLES]
1909
01:23:24,616 --> 01:23:26,885
It doesn't feel right,
you know?
1910
01:23:26,918 --> 01:23:28,386
Yeah, but you wanted
to do this.
1911
01:23:28,419 --> 01:23:31,389
No, I do. I--
I do, I just, um...
1912
01:23:31,422 --> 01:23:35,391
[LAUGHS]
I can't help but feel silly.
1913
01:23:35,827 --> 01:23:38,361
But you'll feel better.
1914
01:23:38,963 --> 01:23:41,633
And besides,
silly is your middle name.
1915
01:23:41,666 --> 01:23:43,401
Silly is my middle name.
1916
01:23:43,434 --> 01:23:45,537
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1917
01:23:45,570 --> 01:23:47,436
So wise.
1918
01:23:48,873 --> 01:23:51,007
Okay.
Yeah.
1919
01:24:11,229 --> 01:24:13,298
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1920
01:24:13,331 --> 01:24:14,833
Mrs. Hanks!
1921
01:24:14,866 --> 01:24:16,701
Bring your ass outside!
1922
01:24:16,734 --> 01:24:20,672
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1923
01:24:20,705 --> 01:24:23,541
♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
1924
01:24:23,574 --> 01:24:24,809
♪ Like, like me no more ♪
1925
01:24:24,842 --> 01:24:29,414
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1926
01:24:29,447 --> 01:24:30,749
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1927
01:24:30,782 --> 01:24:34,583
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1928
01:24:41,592 --> 01:24:42,727
♪ Shining like a supernova ♪
1929
01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:44,663
♪ Brand-new coat
Hanging on my shoulders ♪
1930
01:24:44,696 --> 01:24:46,598
♪ I got what you need
I'm your main controller ♪
1931
01:24:46,631 --> 01:24:48,800
♪ So hop right in
And don't take it slow ♪
1932
01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:50,335
♪ Get on up to my cloud ♪
1933
01:24:50,368 --> 01:24:51,936
♪ Ain't nobody here
That's taking us down ♪
1934
01:24:51,969 --> 01:24:54,239
♪ Hit 'em with the rhythm
Banging that sound ♪
1935
01:24:54,272 --> 01:24:56,641
♪ That's when we get 'em
Hit the whole town ♪
1936
01:24:56,674 --> 01:24:58,476
♪ Got what you want ♪
1937
01:24:58,509 --> 01:25:00,545
♪ I got what you need ♪
1938
01:25:00,578 --> 01:25:02,647
♪ You bring the lock ♪
1939
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:04,582
♪ I got the keys ♪
1940
01:25:04,615 --> 01:25:06,484
♪ Come turn me on ♪
1941
01:25:06,517 --> 01:25:07,786
♪ Can't get enough ♪
1942
01:25:07,819 --> 01:25:09,954
♪ Don't fit the box
Don't fit the mold ♪
1943
01:25:09,987 --> 01:25:12,791
♪ 'Cause you know
I just tear it up ♪
1944
01:25:12,824 --> 01:25:16,561
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1945
01:25:16,594 --> 01:25:19,597
♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
1946
01:25:19,630 --> 01:25:20,865
♪ Like, like me no more ♪
1947
01:25:20,898 --> 01:25:25,303
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1948
01:25:25,336 --> 01:25:26,738
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1949
01:25:26,771 --> 01:25:30,940
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1950
01:25:35,780 --> 01:25:38,814
♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪
1951
01:25:41,452 --> 01:25:42,854
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1952
01:25:42,887 --> 01:25:47,492
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1953
01:25:47,525 --> 01:25:48,893
♪ I flow right through
The door ♪
1954
01:25:48,926 --> 01:25:50,495
♪ Flow like a butterfly
Was below ♪
1955
01:25:50,528 --> 01:25:52,630
♪ I say we roll on
Right through the boulders ♪
1956
01:25:52,663 --> 01:25:54,666
♪ And play underneath
All the stars above us ♪
1957
01:25:54,699 --> 01:25:56,701
♪ Contact, time to switch up
The format ♪
1958
01:25:56,734 --> 01:25:59,337
♪ Got that
Rather beat like a hi-hat ♪
1959
01:25:59,370 --> 01:26:00,739
♪ All original
Classic material ♪
1960
01:26:00,772 --> 01:26:02,540
♪ Hands up
Straight to the back ♪
1961
01:26:02,573 --> 01:26:04,509
♪ I got what you want ♪
1962
01:26:04,542 --> 01:26:06,611
♪ I got what you need ♪
1963
01:26:06,644 --> 01:26:08,446
♪ You bring the lock ♪
1964
01:26:08,479 --> 01:26:10,582
♪ I got the keys ♪
1965
01:26:10,615 --> 01:26:12,584
♪ Come turn me on ♪
1966
01:26:12,617 --> 01:26:13,852
♪ Can't get enough ♪
1967
01:26:13,885 --> 01:26:16,054
♪ Don't fit the box
Don't fit the mold ♪
1968
01:26:16,087 --> 01:26:18,790
♪ 'Cause you know
I just tear it up ♪
1969
01:26:18,823 --> 01:26:22,660
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1970
01:26:22,693 --> 01:26:25,563
♪ They don't make 'em
Like me no more ♪
1971
01:26:25,596 --> 01:26:26,831
♪ Like, like me no more ♪
1972
01:26:26,864 --> 01:26:31,403
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1973
01:26:31,436 --> 01:26:32,737
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1974
01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:37,039
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1975
01:26:41,546 --> 01:26:44,680
♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪
1976
01:26:47,485 --> 01:26:48,787
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1977
01:26:48,820 --> 01:26:51,423
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1978
01:26:51,456 --> 01:26:52,957
♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪
1979
01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:57,128
♪ They don't, they don't
They don't, they don't ♪
1980
01:26:57,161 --> 01:26:59,597
♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪
1981
01:26:59,630 --> 01:27:01,433
♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪
1982
01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:03,568
♪ They don't, they don't ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
1983
01:27:03,601 --> 01:27:05,603
♪ They don't, they don't ♪
1984
01:27:05,636 --> 01:27:07,038
♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪
1985
01:27:07,071 --> 01:27:10,873
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1986
01:27:13,644 --> 01:27:15,146
♪ Don't make 'em like me ♪
1987
01:27:15,179 --> 01:27:18,647
♪ Don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1988
01:27:21,652 --> 01:27:22,887
♪ I'm a different breed ♪
1989
01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:26,655
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1990
01:27:31,429 --> 01:27:33,996
♪ Don't make 'em like me ♪
1991
01:27:37,068 --> 01:27:38,770
♪ One thing I know for sure ♪
1992
01:27:38,803 --> 01:27:41,506
♪ They don't make 'em like me
No more ♪
1993
01:27:41,539 --> 01:27:44,540
♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪