1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:10,001 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,776 [PATRICIA CRYING, STAMMERING] 3 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:31,681 PATRICIA [OVER PHONE]: Oh, my God, I just, I just don't think I can go on. 4 00:00:31,714 --> 00:00:34,618 KASEY: Patricia, listen to my voice. 5 00:00:34,651 --> 00:00:36,286 I'm here for you. 6 00:00:36,319 --> 00:00:39,889 Now, let's just breathe and weigh our options. 7 00:00:39,922 --> 00:00:40,690 [♪♪♪♪♪] 8 00:00:40,723 --> 00:00:42,726 What difference will options make? 9 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,728 After 20 years, he left me. 10 00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:46,896 Twenty long years, bastard! 11 00:00:46,929 --> 00:00:49,432 We've talked about him already, okay? 12 00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:52,235 He hurt you, he tore your heart out, and Patricia, 13 00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:54,471 that thing with the border collie, damn it, 14 00:00:54,504 --> 00:00:56,973 Patricia, I was in tears for you. 15 00:00:57,006 --> 00:00:59,342 But what do we really know? 16 00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:02,545 We know that it's okay to hurt sometimes. 17 00:01:02,578 --> 00:01:08,685 We also know that he's making no more decisions for you. 18 00:01:08,718 --> 00:01:10,787 I made up my mind, I'm hanging up. 19 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:11,855 Goddamn it, Patricia, you wait! 20 00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:15,690 You don't hang up that phone. Patricia, just stay with me. 21 00:01:16,559 --> 00:01:18,059 Please. 22 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,727 Please. 23 00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:24,601 Patricia? 24 00:01:24,634 --> 00:01:26,503 I'm still here. 25 00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:27,904 Okay, that's good. 26 00:01:27,937 --> 00:01:30,373 Patricia, that's real good, okay? 27 00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:32,776 I'm already seeing some growth. 28 00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,611 Now here's the thing, Patricia. 29 00:01:34,644 --> 00:01:37,414 I'm offering help, if you want it. 30 00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:40,383 Because we all need help sometimes. 31 00:01:40,416 --> 00:01:43,486 You know what, fuck it. Give me the full package. 32 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,589 Platinum Triple Play, HBO, Starz, phone, 33 00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:48,525 Internet, all of it. 34 00:01:48,558 --> 00:01:52,526 [♪♪♪♪♪] 35 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,764 I am so proud of you. 36 00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:56,833 You've already shown so much growth. 37 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:57,834 I'm gonna go ahead, 38 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,703 I'll put those numbers in. Great. 39 00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:01,705 You ready for my card number? Absolutely. 40 00:02:01,738 --> 00:02:03,606 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 41 00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:05,608 [PIGEON JOHN'S "THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE ME"] 42 00:02:05,641 --> 00:02:08,511 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 43 00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:09,779 ♪ Like, like me no more ♪ 44 00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:14,384 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 45 00:02:14,417 --> 00:02:15,719 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 46 00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:19,687 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 47 00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:27,697 ♪ Shinin' like a supernova ♪ 48 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,666 ♪ Brand new coat Hangin' on my shoulders ♪ 49 00:02:29,699 --> 00:02:31,568 ♪ I got what you need I'm your main controller ♪ 50 00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:33,870 ♪ So hop right in And don't take it slower ♪ 51 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,405 ♪ Get on up to my clout ♪ 52 00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:37,073 ♪ Ain't nobody here Is takin' us down ♪ 53 00:02:37,106 --> 00:02:39,309 ♪ Hit 'em with the rhythm Bangin' that sound ♪ 54 00:02:39,342 --> 00:02:40,910 ♪ That's when we get 'em Hit the whole town ♪ 55 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,746 ♪ I got what you want ♪ ♪ What you want ♪ 56 00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:44,781 ♪ I got what you need ♪ ♪ What you need ♪ 57 00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:47,117 ♪ You bring the lock ♪ ♪ You bring the lock ♪ 58 00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:48,818 ♪ I got the keys ♪ ♪ Got the keys ♪ 59 00:02:48,851 --> 00:02:50,887 ♪ Can't turn me on ♪ ♪ Can't turn me on ♪ 60 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,989 ♪ Can't get enough ♪ ♪ Can't get enough ♪ 61 00:02:53,022 --> 00:02:55,024 ♪ Don't fit the box Don't fit the mold ♪ 62 00:02:55,057 --> 00:02:57,761 ♪ 'Cause you know I'd just tear it up ♪ 63 00:02:57,794 --> 00:03:01,631 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 64 00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:04,434 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 65 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:05,769 ♪ Like, like me no more ♪ 66 00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:09,939 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 67 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,708 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 68 00:03:11,741 --> 00:03:14,644 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 69 00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:17,878 ♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪ 70 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,816 KASEY: We will be in touch. 71 00:03:19,849 --> 00:03:22,585 PATRICIA: I really appreciate-- All right now. 72 00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:24,821 [SIGHS] Now that is what you call 73 00:03:24,854 --> 00:03:26,890 a first ballot hall of fame performance. 74 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,525 Let's get another one, Big Fred. 75 00:03:28,558 --> 00:03:31,961 I understand, Ms. Wise. These times are hard on all of us. 76 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,431 Internet and cable are kind of expensive bills, 77 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,899 especially when you have-- No, no, no, no, no. 78 00:03:35,932 --> 00:03:41,371 Like my mama say, I shall keep you in my prayers, Mrs.-- 79 00:03:41,404 --> 00:03:42,071 Mrs. Wise. Ha-ha. 80 00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:46,543 And I pray that you recognize your freely-given faith. 81 00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,812 And right here, right now, 82 00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,713 start living in a life of abundance, 83 00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:52,982 and enjoying a life of prosperity. 84 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:57,020 And the best way to exercise that almighty faith 85 00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:59,489 is to try my service today. 86 00:03:59,522 --> 00:04:00,623 God bless you. 87 00:04:00,656 --> 00:04:02,957 Wow! 88 00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:06,894 You like porn? We got porn. 89 00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:08,698 My man, what kind of porn we talking about? 90 00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:13,670 Oh, my corporate number, yeah. It's 1-800-FUCK-YOU. 91 00:04:13,703 --> 00:04:16,539 You want me to add you to the do not call list? 92 00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:18,842 Shit. I mean, shit, I mean, please. 93 00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:21,911 I just don't think that's a good idea. 94 00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:23,446 [CLEARS THROAT] 95 00:04:23,479 --> 00:04:24,881 Kasey. Thanks. 96 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:29,419 But that lady might not be able to afford our package. 97 00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:31,054 We should do no evil. 98 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:34,691 Wow. Man, you know what? That is so crazy 99 00:04:34,724 --> 00:04:38,595 that you think that I care, because I don't. 100 00:04:38,628 --> 00:04:41,698 After the sale, bro, it's out of my hands. 101 00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:42,866 Can't say I disagree there. 102 00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:46,503 Yeah, unless she wants that private dick-stillation. 103 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,472 Bow, bow, bow-- Get it, get it, get it. 104 00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:51,608 Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. 105 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:54,110 Yeah, I hurt myself a little bit. 106 00:04:54,143 --> 00:04:56,310 Her home's in foreclosure. 107 00:04:57,246 --> 00:04:58,948 That's unfortunate for her. 108 00:04:58,981 --> 00:05:00,049 Because what they're gonna do 109 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,151 is they're gonna remove her from her home 110 00:05:02,184 --> 00:05:05,622 and leave all that good entertainment in the house 111 00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:06,990 for somebody else, you know? 112 00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:08,491 [LAUGHS] LIZ: All right. 113 00:05:08,524 --> 00:05:11,094 Last day of the sales period, shit-heads. 114 00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:14,831 Let's focus on the three necessities of life: 115 00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:16,533 phone, cable, Internet. 116 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,800 It's just that simple. [SCOFFS] 117 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:20,904 Nice work. 118 00:05:20,937 --> 00:05:24,641 But that Patricia lady, 22 minutes. 119 00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,009 You going soft on me, King? 120 00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:27,544 Eh, I got the sale. 121 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,578 And her life story. 122 00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:29,646 And the sale. Listen, Liz, 123 00:05:29,679 --> 00:05:31,548 your boys are running out of gas, 124 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,182 it's embarrassing, really. 125 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:34,684 Hm. 126 00:05:34,717 --> 00:05:38,955 May I remind you, three grand is at stake. 127 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,824 Six hours until end of business. 128 00:05:41,857 --> 00:05:43,593 Still anyone's ballgame. 129 00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:46,694 All right, let's see where we're at. 130 00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:48,131 Call them out. 131 00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:49,065 Almost had a triple. 132 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,569 And I almost cared. Who else besides Kasey? 133 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,203 [LAUGHS] Double play. Cable and Internet. 134 00:05:54,236 --> 00:05:59,776 [WINCES] Yeah. I hate to be that guy, but, uh, I closed that one, Liz, 135 00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:01,711 so go ahead and add that to mine, 136 00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:02,845 plus two other triple plays. 137 00:06:02,878 --> 00:06:05,515 LIZ: Love it. Yeah, sorry rookie, 138 00:06:05,548 --> 00:06:06,516 it's the law of the land. 139 00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,151 LIZ: Remember, winner not only takes 140 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:13,022 our largest commission to date, but also the throne chair. 141 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:16,693 And whoever ends up in last place... 142 00:06:16,726 --> 00:06:17,226 Justin. 143 00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:18,795 Fuck off. Eat shit, asshole. 144 00:06:18,828 --> 00:06:20,964 LIZ: That means you are the lowlife loser 145 00:06:20,997 --> 00:06:24,300 who will be given the shittiest sales list you've ever seen. 146 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:27,303 Hell, if it were legal, I'd give you the worst list. 147 00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:30,106 The do not call list. [CHUCKLES] Ooh! 148 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,075 And for anyone whose target 149 00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:34,677 asks to be put on the do not call list, 150 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:39,015 I'll subtract one of their miserable, sorry ass sales. 151 00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:42,051 Now, has anyone asked to be put on that list? 152 00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:45,219 [♪♪♪♪♪] 153 00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:53,096 Because I don't lie, okay? I never lie. 154 00:06:53,129 --> 00:06:57,133 I'm a good person, I visit my grandma. 155 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,899 Shut up. 156 00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:13,282 LIZ: Now everyone can just shut their pie-holes, 157 00:07:13,315 --> 00:07:15,852 because I got a call from corporate earlier. 158 00:07:15,885 --> 00:07:18,154 They're on their way here as we speak 159 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,189 for an all-hands-on-deck meeting. 160 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,658 I have a very comfortable lead, 161 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,827 so I'm gonna take this as my cue to leave. 162 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,129 The meeting's kind of a big deal, 163 00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:27,664 got some suits flying in from Houston. 164 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,832 Oh, Houston, lovely city, love the Rockets. 165 00:07:29,865 --> 00:07:32,201 Tell them I said what up. Kasey. 166 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,671 Hm? I can't hear you. 167 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,238 [SCOFFS] 168 00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:38,706 [♪♪♪♪♪] 169 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,382 [WOLF WHISTLES] 170 00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:47,917 Ladies, ladies, please. 171 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,152 No, no, no, no, don't get up, 172 00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,219 I couldn't trouble you to do so. 173 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,689 I was just on my lunch break in the neighborhood, 174 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:58,795 and I thought to myself, huh, who could use some roses? 175 00:07:58,828 --> 00:08:02,398 Oh, I know. The ladies at the Wave Hair Salon. 176 00:08:02,431 --> 00:08:04,233 Here you go. Is he crazy? 177 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,268 KASEY: For you. Crazy. 178 00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:07,870 Anyway, that's for you. Thank you. 179 00:08:07,903 --> 00:08:09,806 Yeah. Shelly, Shelly, Shelly. 180 00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:13,242 I'm just surprised it's not dripping in snake oil. 181 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,110 [SCOFFS] 182 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,678 SHELLY: Hm. 183 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:16,679 Ugh. 184 00:08:16,712 --> 00:08:18,879 You'll kill these flowers. 185 00:08:18,948 --> 00:08:22,449 And one final rose for a very special lady. 186 00:08:22,985 --> 00:08:24,821 Two years of emotional torture, 187 00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:29,425 a single rose doesn't seem quite right. 188 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,427 Well, I got two, technically. 189 00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:34,097 So it's one step closer to getting you back. 190 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:37,133 Look, is there any way we can talk in private now? 191 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:41,804 Just a minute, without inmate number one? 192 00:08:41,837 --> 00:08:42,939 Okay, Ms. Gordon? 193 00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:45,141 I'm gonna give him his minute, or else he won't leave. 194 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:48,211 Trust me, it's just better for everyone, and I'll... 195 00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:49,946 Okay, I understand. 196 00:08:49,979 --> 00:08:52,248 But if you need some backup, just holler. 197 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,317 Because baby, I don't mind taking off the earrings 198 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:56,786 to put some Vaseline on you. You understand me? 199 00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,889 Don't have flashbacks of your strip club days. 200 00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:01,090 What? 201 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,923 I love you. 202 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,360 I love you. 203 00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:06,794 I love you too, sugar. 204 00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:11,934 Honestly, I don't wanna be the one to say it, 205 00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:16,372 but I don't think this is the environment for you. 206 00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:19,242 Look, I'm almost done with my master's in psych, 207 00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:23,913 and unlike you, I don't have a father footing the bill. 208 00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:25,047 In there is real life, 209 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,750 and I've been waiting for you to join me here. 210 00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,119 Like, in the salon? Baby, I can't work here. 211 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,188 Don't be stupid. Okay, look, I'm sorry. 212 00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:35,158 But, you know, I'm trying here, I really am. 213 00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:37,160 Do you want a cookie for being a smooth talker? 214 00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:40,963 It depends on the type of cookie. Okay, seriously. 215 00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,131 That was the last joke. 216 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,966 But I'm serious, that's why I'm here. 217 00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:46,836 Okay? I want what you want, I want what we want. 218 00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:49,305 You always say the right thing, 219 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,074 but I'm not your customer, okay? 220 00:09:52,107 --> 00:09:56,212 If you can't be open and honest with me all of the time, 221 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:57,113 then there is no "we." 222 00:09:57,146 --> 00:09:59,315 Hell, I haven't even met all your family yet. 223 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,084 I keep saying, you don't want to meet my dad. 224 00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:04,053 I'm a family person. Hey, hey, I am too. 225 00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:07,824 Very important to me, and I'm being for real about that. 226 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,091 Well then, prove it. 227 00:10:09,124 --> 00:10:11,127 And don't you dare try to sell me. 228 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,128 Well, let me, okay. 229 00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:14,297 Let me just sell you one last time 230 00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:15,531 on dinner tonight. 231 00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:18,034 All right, no hustles, no pickup lines, 232 00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:22,336 just you, me, two fine steaks. 233 00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:26,039 We gave up red meat. 234 00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:27,877 We did, and I know, I remember. 235 00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,913 I didn't know if you had gone back since the breakup, 236 00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:31,981 which is why I chose a place 237 00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:34,851 with very-very fine aquatic selections. 238 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,853 You know what I mean? Salmon, right? 239 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,454 God invented that. Uh, leafy greens? 240 00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:40,823 Gotta have my fiber intake, you know, 241 00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,892 because I stay backed up sometimes. 242 00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:44,193 Stop. Really gotta 243 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,429 keep it moving, you know? 244 00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:48,595 [BOTH LAUGH] 245 00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:53,236 Look, there is this new French place on 5th 246 00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:55,071 I've been wanting to try, so... Boom. 247 00:10:55,104 --> 00:10:58,341 I'm gonna leave right now before you change your mind. 248 00:10:58,374 --> 00:10:59,475 Mm-hm. La, la, la. I can't hear. 249 00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:01,844 You can read my lips. I can read your lips. 250 00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:02,845 What am I saying right now? 251 00:11:02,878 --> 00:11:05,214 Uh, salmon and sex? What time... 252 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,349 That's not what I said. 253 00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:07,383 That's what it sounds like. 254 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,318 Sex and salmon. Goodbye. 255 00:11:09,351 --> 00:11:10,519 And not in that order. 256 00:11:10,552 --> 00:11:13,654 [♪♪♪♪♪] 257 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:22,198 Right, so, um, okay. 258 00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:28,635 Just to clarify, 8 p.m., a quiet table, with a view. 259 00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,273 Right, right. Thanks, Dana. 260 00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:31,874 Hey, let me ask you something. 261 00:11:31,907 --> 00:11:33,042 I'm not doing too much, am I? 262 00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:36,543 I mean, there's a lot riding on this date. 263 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:40,016 Oh, no, I trust your taste, it was, you know... 264 00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:43,583 Right. All right, thanks, Dana. 265 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:50,192 [GLOVE BOX OPENS, CLOSES] 266 00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:52,428 [INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY] 267 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,094 Showtime. 268 00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,102 Fats, my man. Hey, Kasey. 269 00:12:00,135 --> 00:12:02,138 How's that NFL Sunday Ticket treating you? 270 00:12:02,171 --> 00:12:03,606 Man, I ain't miss a game all preseason, baby. 271 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:07,376 Hey, call me when you want that landline, all right? 272 00:12:07,409 --> 00:12:09,412 Cell phones for the bros, 273 00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,547 landlines... [CHUCKLES] 274 00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:12,515 Is for the other bros, 275 00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:15,885 because we both know you ain't getting no bitches. 276 00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:18,421 Only bitch I need, playa. My man. 277 00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:20,456 LIZ: Yes, I can! You're the shittiest... 278 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,858 I ain't messing with that, that's all you. 279 00:12:22,891 --> 00:12:26,426 That chick is a wild one. LIZ: Oh, my God. 280 00:12:27,096 --> 00:12:28,030 Mm. That's good. 281 00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:30,333 You just have it out for me because I'm short. 282 00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,301 Oh, because you're short? Yeah. 283 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,904 No, because you don't know how to sell. 284 00:12:34,937 --> 00:12:35,671 You are useless, go! 285 00:12:35,704 --> 00:12:36,973 Fats, can you get him out of here? 286 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,642 You can suck my shit! I am gonna come back here 287 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,078 and bite everybody's dick off. You hear me? 288 00:12:42,111 --> 00:12:45,181 Okay, go back to Jersey, Justin, make your mama happy. 289 00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:46,282 Yeah, you come to Jersey, 290 00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:47,550 you see what we do to you. Okay. 291 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,553 I'll bury you in the sand in the shore! 292 00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:51,921 Yup. You, my office. 293 00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:53,189 [JUSTIN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] Wow. 294 00:12:53,222 --> 00:12:55,391 KASEY [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Mrs. Hanks, word is, 295 00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:56,425 Russia's gonna start tapping 296 00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,127 all American cell phones very soon. 297 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,162 HANKS: My Lord. Do yourself a favor 298 00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:01,530 and add our phone package today. 299 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:04,133 It's the only way to stay safe from Putin. 300 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,068 Uh... I'm listening, but that's not me. 301 00:13:06,101 --> 00:13:10,373 I know it sounds like me, but that's not me, you know. 302 00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:11,474 No? A lot of people... 303 00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,376 Russian spyware, you know what I mean? 304 00:13:13,409 --> 00:13:15,444 They can make you sound like anybody. 305 00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:18,481 You listen to Joe Rogan podcasts? 306 00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:19,582 No. Oh, you'll see, 307 00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:21,617 maybe you should start, educate yourself. 308 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:24,520 You know, before you bring on these accusations. 309 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,655 [PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 310 00:13:26,688 --> 00:13:30,090 [♪♪♪♪♪] 311 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,007 Sorry, Justin. 312 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,242 KASEY: We must show patriotism 313 00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:49,011 by honoring a true American icon. 314 00:13:49,044 --> 00:13:49,712 LIZ: Mm. 315 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,280 I-I told a deception. 316 00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:53,049 I shouldn't have told a deception. 317 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:56,685 I know, and I've learned from it, and I've grown, really. 318 00:13:56,718 --> 00:13:58,721 I've grown from it. Yeah. You have? 319 00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,655 I've learned my lesson. 320 00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:01,390 Today is a new day. For me. Okay. 321 00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,492 KASEY: Have any idea who that man might be? 322 00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:06,162 Mr. Rogers? KASEY: Not Rogers, ma'am. 323 00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:08,330 James, Rick James. Rick James? 324 00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:09,598 KASEY: That's right, Rick James. 325 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:12,435 The one and only founding father of "Super Freaks." 326 00:14:12,468 --> 00:14:15,471 Super what? It sounds like I haven't grown 327 00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:16,372 when you play it back. 328 00:14:16,405 --> 00:14:18,407 Yeah. Our wonderful Triple Play package. 329 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,577 Someone will personally hand-deliver a one of a kind 330 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,746 Rick James wig right to your doorstep. 331 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,414 MRS. HANKS: Oh, my, that would be nice. 332 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,782 I bet my granddaughter would want one too. 333 00:14:29,084 --> 00:14:31,153 Rick James. Kinda funny. 334 00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:35,558 I'd been listening to some "Super Freak" on the car ride. 335 00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,226 Creative. Yeah. 336 00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:39,428 Already over 100,000 views, 337 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,762 and you've mentioned the company's name. 338 00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:46,302 Corporate fucking loved it. 339 00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:47,670 Wait, so they're not upset? 340 00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:51,240 Upset? They nearly jizzed their double-pleated slacks 341 00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:54,777 at the social media exposure and potential revenue, and... 342 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,512 with you being top salesman... I am. 343 00:14:56,545 --> 00:15:01,283 ...they demanded that the entire floor adopts the Kasey Method. 344 00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:04,320 The Kasey Method. Uh-huh. 345 00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:05,621 Yeah. 346 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:08,688 Check out the front row. 347 00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:15,862 Hi, yes, this is Barry calling you from TeleWin. 348 00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:18,367 Yeah. Heh-heh. 349 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,270 Actually, you know, when my pastor was 20, 350 00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:24,073 he cared what everybody thought about him. 351 00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:24,773 When he turned 40, 352 00:15:24,806 --> 00:15:27,476 he didn't care what nobody thought about him. 353 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:28,744 But you know, when he turned 60, 354 00:15:28,777 --> 00:15:32,448 he realized nobody cared what they thought about him. 355 00:15:32,481 --> 00:15:35,584 So, what I'm trying to say is, ma'am, you shouldn't care, 356 00:15:35,617 --> 00:15:37,720 you should buy one of these packages. 357 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:40,787 [CHUCKLES] Yes, okay. 358 00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:47,296 I like my coffee like I like my men. 359 00:15:47,329 --> 00:15:49,365 I don't, because I like girls. 360 00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,500 And everybody around here knows it. Hm. 361 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,501 Why are you in my chair? 362 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,171 I-I'm sorry, I just thought you wouldn't mind-- 363 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,805 "Sorry, Kasey." You thought I wouldn't mind? 364 00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:59,675 Is that bow tie cutting off the circulation to your brain? 365 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:03,212 I guess I just wanted to channel the master, that's all. 366 00:16:03,245 --> 00:16:05,845 But hey-- Hey, hey, hey. 367 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,850 It's not about the chair. 368 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:08,851 The chair don't make the man. 369 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,886 Because no matter how long you sit in this chair, 370 00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:15,424 you will always be second place. [PATS HIS CHEST] 371 00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:19,628 But not just to me, God hates you. 372 00:16:19,661 --> 00:16:21,394 [SIGHS] 373 00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:23,732 [CHAIR RUSTLES] 374 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:26,468 I like how you got my chair, but couldn't... 375 00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,571 Couldn't make the switch, could you? 376 00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:31,574 This is something you can relate to, Barry? 377 00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:32,608 You know what I mean? 378 00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:34,376 Everybody standing around watching 379 00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:36,512 like this is a goddamn music show. 380 00:16:36,545 --> 00:16:41,650 Is that my mocha choca king sitting in a regular ass chair? 381 00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:45,688 Well, I'm just feeling generous today, gentlemen, that's it. 382 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:48,622 Then why the Payday Loan? 383 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,492 What, they called you? 384 00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:51,660 Asked a bunch of weird questions. 385 00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:54,863 Like your nipple shape. I said Africa, I kept it safe. 386 00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:56,565 That's pretty accurate. Right there. 387 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:59,335 My man. You told them I was a good dude? 388 00:16:59,368 --> 00:17:00,903 Of course I did. You know what I'm saying? 389 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,807 Right there. I said you had great taste in music. 390 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,675 You said that to them? Look, anyway, 391 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:09,178 I just have a very special purchase I had to make. 392 00:17:09,211 --> 00:17:11,380 These loan companies don't fuck around though, man. 393 00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:14,683 My uncle Jeffrey, he almost lost his left nut 394 00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:16,785 because he defaulted on a payment. 395 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:17,720 Bro, could you imagine 396 00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:20,289 making a Sophie's Choice with your nutsack? 397 00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:21,690 It's like left truffle, right truffle. 398 00:17:21,723 --> 00:17:25,661 I ju-- As long as I cash out by tonight as planned, 399 00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:30,463 me and my truffles are perfectly fine. 400 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:31,634 I love truffles. 401 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:35,302 Y'all thought process puzzles me. 402 00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:37,373 I'll sign you up for the package right now. 403 00:17:37,406 --> 00:17:40,609 Holy shit. Man, look at the scoreboard. 404 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:44,346 BARRY: Yes, ma'am. Haa... That's real cute. 405 00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:45,547 Real cute, rookie. 406 00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:47,516 Let's go get another one, Big Fred. 407 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,285 This is Barry calling from TeleWin, 408 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,986 and I'm trying to upgrade you now. 409 00:17:51,019 --> 00:17:52,721 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 410 00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,590 I talk straight. I like to shoot straight. 411 00:17:54,623 --> 00:17:56,592 Better cable service while he's gone, 412 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,693 fucking all those other women. 413 00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:59,795 [TEXAS ACCENT] I was born and raised in Texas like you. 414 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,364 Sometimes I like to grab the bull by its horns 415 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:04,300 and do you know what to 'em. Heh. 416 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,035 I can sign you up right now. 417 00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:07,836 [LINE HUMS] Hello? 418 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:08,971 One for Barry. 419 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:09,772 Whatever, dude. 420 00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:11,607 Even a broken clock's right twice a day. 421 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,277 [BOSTON ACCENT] Absolutely, sir, I'm from fucking Boston. Yeah. 422 00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:18,647 Fucking Boston, I went to BU. LIZ: Clock's ticking. 423 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,648 Two banger for Barry. 424 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,016 He's having a little lucky streak. 425 00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:22,918 Little lucky streak. That's all good. 426 00:18:22,951 --> 00:18:26,953 Triple play for Barry. Shit, Barry. 427 00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:28,857 [TICKING] 428 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,426 You can learn from your failures. 429 00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:31,760 Hey, our phones, anybody's phone, 430 00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:32,995 Debra, is your phone messed up? 431 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,997 That last company failed you, but we won't. 432 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,932 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER VOICE] Kasey still has a clear lead, 433 00:18:36,965 --> 00:18:38,767 but he's still clearly under pressure. 434 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,836 RICK: The same pressure he faced in law school. 435 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,806 The same pressure that caused him to flunk out. 436 00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,406 KASEY: Dropped out. 437 00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,977 All right, choir boy, I got you. 438 00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:51,780 LIZ: Another single play for Barry. 439 00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:53,015 Fucking is it hot? 440 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,550 LIZ: Two banger for Barry. 441 00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,985 Debra, can you turn the a.c. up? 442 00:18:57,018 --> 00:18:57,920 [TICKING] 443 00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,555 LIZ: Another one for Barry. 444 00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:00,756 Debra, you're way behind. 445 00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,791 So don't even look at me with judging eyes. 446 00:19:02,824 --> 00:19:04,793 Yeah, you've reached Kasey. 447 00:19:04,826 --> 00:19:06,328 Uh... Ugh. 448 00:19:06,361 --> 00:19:07,761 Fuck! 449 00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:11,633 Fuck. How's this for a bonus? 450 00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:15,037 24-karat gold-plated iPad. 451 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,071 Ooh! 452 00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:16,972 Can I get a word in? 453 00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:19,408 No, I called you, so you have to wonder what I'm-- 454 00:19:19,441 --> 00:19:22,511 As soon as I called, you started yelling. 455 00:19:22,544 --> 00:19:25,545 Hello? It's Christine. 456 00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:28,517 Oh, hey. Hey, babe. 457 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:32,755 Hey, I'm just checking if you made the reservation. 458 00:19:32,788 --> 00:19:33,856 KASEY: Uh... 459 00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:35,491 Did I make the reservations? 460 00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:38,560 Yes, oh, sorry. Of course I made the reservation. 461 00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:40,963 [CHUCKLES] I'm writing you down right now. 462 00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,097 Are you okay? You sound off. 463 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:45,401 Huh? No, no, I sound weird? You know... 464 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,435 [MOUTHS] Fuck you. 465 00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:47,870 I don't sound weird at all, 466 00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:50,572 you're the one who sounds weird. I'm just at work 467 00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,975 making deals like Gordon Gekko. 468 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,042 Oh, I bet you are. 469 00:19:54,075 --> 00:19:57,146 I bet Gordon Gekko would be making money right now 470 00:19:57,179 --> 00:19:59,915 and probably would be allowed personal calls 471 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,083 from his very own office. 472 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,519 KASEY: Get off the damn phone, Liz. 473 00:20:03,552 --> 00:20:05,087 Hey, babe, listen, I gotta go. 474 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:10,592 Okay? I have to-- I will talk to you, uh, later. 475 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:12,694 All right, bye. 476 00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:13,595 Time. 477 00:20:13,628 --> 00:20:15,762 [GROANS, LAUGHS] 478 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,200 LIZ: Huddle up. 479 00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,639 Looks like Kasey's got it again. 480 00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:26,708 How many more you got, king? What, what? 481 00:20:26,741 --> 00:20:27,810 [LAUGHS] 482 00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:29,778 My man. How many more you got? 483 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:30,712 How many do I... 484 00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:32,181 Yeah, how many more do you got? 485 00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:35,150 Oh, no, that's it right there. That's it? 486 00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:39,688 I'm saying when you put all the numbers together combined, yeah. 487 00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,890 Anybody else got anything? 488 00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:42,891 Just one. [CHUCKLES] 489 00:20:42,924 --> 00:20:45,994 Yeah, well, sorry, single play's not enough. 490 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:48,730 Just one... triple play! 491 00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:50,899 [LAUGHS] 492 00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,265 Yes. 493 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,100 Hm. 494 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,270 LIZ: Holy shit. That's... 495 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,575 You win by one. 496 00:20:59,608 --> 00:21:00,742 [LAUGHS] 497 00:21:00,775 --> 00:21:01,910 Oh, that's major. 498 00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:03,245 Good shit, Barry. Nah, wait. 499 00:21:03,278 --> 00:21:04,646 CASEY: I demand a recount on that. 500 00:21:04,679 --> 00:21:09,418 Single but stable family home. I got her to go for the triple. 501 00:21:09,451 --> 00:21:11,753 [LAUGHING] 502 00:21:11,786 --> 00:21:12,588 Easy, easy, okay? 503 00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:15,491 I mean, I just had a lucky day, I'm not sure how it happened. 504 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:19,027 You used the Kasey Method, I bet that's what happened. 505 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:21,063 Actually, I used my own method. 506 00:21:21,096 --> 00:21:23,031 ALL: Ooh! Ooh! 507 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,967 Oh. And don't forget my smile. 508 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,837 I mean, they may not see it, but they can feel it. 509 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:32,708 Looks like the king and his method is dead. 510 00:21:32,741 --> 00:21:34,142 Barry, take the chair. 511 00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:36,743 [ALL APPLAUDING] 512 00:21:38,847 --> 00:21:40,115 Hey, but listen... Huh? 513 00:21:40,148 --> 00:21:43,719 They just give you a chair and they snatch it right back. 514 00:21:43,752 --> 00:21:45,053 I know, every once in a while... 515 00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:47,687 LIZ: Have a great weekend. 516 00:21:49,691 --> 00:21:52,859 RICK: You leave it out in the sun. 517 00:21:53,528 --> 00:21:57,599 [SCREAMS] Barry, dude, you, oh my-- Don't do that. 518 00:21:57,632 --> 00:21:59,668 You do that, you could've been a victim. 519 00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:02,237 I'm sorry, Kase. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 520 00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:03,071 I just came over here 521 00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:06,940 because I feel like you should have this. 522 00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:07,976 You deserve it. 523 00:22:08,009 --> 00:22:10,879 Honestly, bro, I wasn't really trying. 524 00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,714 You know what I mean? It was like 525 00:22:12,747 --> 00:22:14,883 I had an off day and it was a lot going on, 526 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:19,085 so you deserve that, you keep it, man. 527 00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:22,288 Have a blessed day, Kasey. 528 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:26,192 Fuck, man. 529 00:22:26,728 --> 00:22:29,231 Thirty minutes. I just need 30 minutes, 530 00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,800 I need to get this bonus for the weekend, please. 531 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,002 You already get the best leads on the floor, 532 00:22:34,035 --> 00:22:36,138 what more do you want? I can't tell. 533 00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:38,140 The way I'm striking out out there. 534 00:22:38,173 --> 00:22:40,943 There's something going on with my sheets. 535 00:22:40,976 --> 00:22:42,611 You had a bad day. 536 00:22:42,644 --> 00:22:44,479 [CHUCKLES] 537 00:22:44,512 --> 00:22:45,681 Liz, Liz. 538 00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:48,083 [♪♪♪♪♪] 539 00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,252 Liz, um, I'm rather sure 540 00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:52,187 this wouldn't be your first "adjustment." 541 00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:54,723 You know what I'm talking about. Latrice, last year, 542 00:22:54,756 --> 00:22:58,193 I'm pretty sure you helped her make quota, right? 543 00:22:58,226 --> 00:22:59,928 Her kid had leukemia. 544 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,598 Damn it, Liz, I got leukemia! 545 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,866 I don't have leukemia, I don't have leukemia. 546 00:23:04,899 --> 00:23:07,803 You know, but I got something worse than leukemia, right? 547 00:23:07,836 --> 00:23:09,237 I have a gigantic loan I gotta pay back, 548 00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:14,843 or else I may lose something... that I may never get back. 549 00:23:14,876 --> 00:23:17,813 Liz, look at me, look at me. Hey, hey, hey. 550 00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:19,314 Right, I make one bundle sale, 551 00:23:19,347 --> 00:23:21,650 boom, it'll put me over the top, and we're good. 552 00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:25,320 No handouts, let me go out there and do my thing. 553 00:23:25,353 --> 00:23:26,953 Please. 554 00:23:27,889 --> 00:23:30,156 Sorry, Kasey. Fuck! 555 00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:42,738 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 556 00:23:42,771 --> 00:23:45,238 [LINE TRILLING] 557 00:23:47,042 --> 00:23:50,779 CHRISTINE: Hey. Hey, hey babe, listen. Um... 558 00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:52,581 You're never gonna believe this, but, 559 00:23:52,614 --> 00:23:54,316 the restaurant bumped our reservation to 8:30. 560 00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:57,619 Oh, damn. I was just leaving my place. 561 00:23:57,652 --> 00:24:00,155 Yeah, I know, I know, that sucks. 562 00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:01,957 But hey, look, when we get there, 563 00:24:01,990 --> 00:24:04,793 I'm gonna give the manager a stern talking-to. 564 00:24:04,826 --> 00:24:06,094 Maybe they'll give us, uh... 565 00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:08,330 Maybe they'll comp dessert or something like that. 566 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,866 It's cool, it's just 30 minutes, we'll survive. 567 00:24:10,899 --> 00:24:14,236 You know, I've got a good feeling about this dinner. 568 00:24:14,269 --> 00:24:15,804 Oh, you do? I do. 569 00:24:15,837 --> 00:24:17,773 So don't mess it up. [CHUCKLES] 570 00:24:17,806 --> 00:24:19,775 Come on, babe. You know me. Mm-hm. 571 00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:22,744 Okay, you used to quit talking before I could change my mind. 572 00:24:22,777 --> 00:24:27,180 I can't hear a word you're saying because I gotta go, bye. 573 00:24:31,953 --> 00:24:33,622 [SIGHS] 574 00:24:33,655 --> 00:24:35,088 Showtime. 575 00:24:36,591 --> 00:24:39,192 [♪♪♪♪♪] 576 00:24:40,195 --> 00:24:44,330 Come on. Come on. Where's those fucking call sheets? 577 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:51,404 Come on. Come on. Come on. 578 00:24:55,677 --> 00:24:57,145 [LOCK CLICKS] 579 00:24:57,178 --> 00:24:58,811 Oh, shit. 580 00:25:00,381 --> 00:25:02,818 [♪♪♪♪♪] 581 00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:04,019 [GASPS] 582 00:25:04,052 --> 00:25:05,952 [CHUCKLES] 583 00:25:16,397 --> 00:25:20,099 I swear to God, don't you ever leave me again. 584 00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,802 I missed you. 585 00:25:23,371 --> 00:25:24,840 What do we got? 586 00:25:24,873 --> 00:25:28,908 Okay. Let's get another one, Big Fred. 587 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,449 [KNUCKLES CRACK] 588 00:25:34,482 --> 00:25:36,516 Time to get creative. 589 00:25:37,218 --> 00:25:41,354 I know somebody forgot they're on this stupid list. 590 00:25:43,091 --> 00:25:45,694 [DIALING] 591 00:25:45,727 --> 00:25:46,695 [LINE TRILLING] 592 00:25:46,728 --> 00:25:50,699 [AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Hello there. Oh, is this Kate Carpenter? 593 00:25:50,732 --> 00:25:53,368 Yeah, this is Kasey at TeleWin. [LINE HUMS] 594 00:25:53,401 --> 00:25:56,102 Hello? Hello? 595 00:25:56,237 --> 00:25:58,171 [NORMAL VOICE] Fuck. 596 00:25:58,506 --> 00:26:01,908 Uh, shit, come on. 597 00:26:03,077 --> 00:26:05,411 [LINE TRILLING] 598 00:26:06,314 --> 00:26:09,484 Hello, Reef. Reef, yeah. I got a deal for you, man. 599 00:26:09,517 --> 00:26:11,753 I shouldn't be calling you this late, 600 00:26:11,786 --> 00:26:13,054 but, hello? [LINE HUMS] 601 00:26:13,087 --> 00:26:16,088 Shit, maybe a little too pervy. 602 00:26:20,094 --> 00:26:21,096 Bingo. Instagram. 603 00:26:21,129 --> 00:26:26,334 No, you strike me as a Facebook type of individual 604 00:26:26,367 --> 00:26:29,204 due to your advanced age. [KEYBOARD CLACKING] 605 00:26:29,237 --> 00:26:31,270 [CHUCKLES] 606 00:26:32,307 --> 00:26:35,875 Phil French. Bingo. 607 00:26:37,312 --> 00:26:40,048 Phil French, Phil French. Phil French. 608 00:26:40,081 --> 00:26:41,917 Phil, Phil, Phil. 609 00:26:41,950 --> 00:26:42,517 [CLEARS THROAT] 610 00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:46,519 [IN GRAVELLY VOICE] Phil, Phil, yeah, Phil French. 611 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,425 ASA: Hello? 612 00:26:50,458 --> 00:26:51,960 Hey there, Asa. 613 00:26:51,993 --> 00:26:53,128 [CHUCKLES] 614 00:26:53,161 --> 00:26:54,930 Yeah, it's a voice out of the past. 615 00:26:54,963 --> 00:26:58,066 Phil French from marching band, how you doing, buddy? 616 00:26:58,099 --> 00:27:01,169 Phil? Phil, is that really you? 617 00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:03,839 Yeah, it's me. Heh. 618 00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:04,539 Long time, eh? 619 00:27:04,572 --> 00:27:07,108 You bet you it's been a while. 620 00:27:07,141 --> 00:27:09,544 Well, how are you, my man? Oh, me? 621 00:27:09,577 --> 00:27:12,447 Well, I-I'm in the Valley. 622 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,983 Yeah, I'm in the Valley, you know. 623 00:27:15,016 --> 00:27:18,553 I was thinking about old times, and I thought I'd look you up. 624 00:27:18,586 --> 00:27:20,522 You still playing that horn? 625 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:22,123 Oh, you damn right I am. 626 00:27:22,156 --> 00:27:26,392 You can't pull my mouth off of that horn if you tried. 627 00:27:26,461 --> 00:27:28,897 I suck, I blow, I do it all. 628 00:27:28,930 --> 00:27:29,931 I'm in the big band now. 629 00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:32,033 You know, weddings, bar mitzvahs, 630 00:27:32,066 --> 00:27:35,237 assisted suicides, the whole thing. 631 00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:37,339 Hey, don't I know it. Yeah. 632 00:27:37,372 --> 00:27:38,940 Well, haven't you retired? 633 00:27:38,973 --> 00:27:40,208 Well, I'll tell you this. 634 00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:41,910 You know, I didn't work enough quarters 635 00:27:41,943 --> 00:27:43,979 to get my Social Security, you know, 636 00:27:44,012 --> 00:27:46,581 then the-the bursitis started flaring up again 637 00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:49,050 along with the gout and what have you, 638 00:27:49,083 --> 00:27:50,051 and such, and so forth. 639 00:27:50,084 --> 00:27:52,654 And so, now I'm over here selling cable. 640 00:27:52,687 --> 00:27:53,822 Wow. Say, 641 00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:58,426 you wouldn't happen to be in the marketplace for cable, 642 00:27:58,459 --> 00:27:59,294 Internet, or phone? 643 00:27:59,327 --> 00:28:01,897 Hell, the entire bundle. I tell you what, you know, 644 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,466 I could hook you up with a pretty sweet deal. 645 00:28:04,499 --> 00:28:06,902 First three months, hell, four months for free. 646 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:09,304 Oh, I'd love that. You know, I've got a son 647 00:28:09,337 --> 00:28:11,339 who's looking to break into your business, 648 00:28:11,372 --> 00:28:15,377 that telemarketing thing that y'all do. 649 00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:17,245 Which one do you work for? 650 00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:18,113 TeleWin, Northridge. 651 00:28:18,146 --> 00:28:20,582 Right up the block from Tarzana, small town. 652 00:28:20,615 --> 00:28:23,451 You know? But tell your son he can call me here anytime. 653 00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:26,855 I see. You know, I'm still in the Valley myself. 654 00:28:26,888 --> 00:28:27,889 Well, my son and I. 655 00:28:27,922 --> 00:28:29,424 Like I said before, that's great, 656 00:28:29,457 --> 00:28:32,160 he can call me here whenever he feels the need to. 657 00:28:32,193 --> 00:28:35,563 But let-let-let-let me take care of you. 658 00:28:35,596 --> 00:28:38,900 Let's get-- L-l-let's get you set up, huh? 659 00:28:38,933 --> 00:28:41,536 We can go out and get that drink and talk about old times 660 00:28:41,569 --> 00:28:44,372 and all the loose women you used to run through. 661 00:28:44,405 --> 00:28:45,307 Now, Phil. 662 00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:47,909 L-l-let me ask you a question now. 663 00:28:47,942 --> 00:28:50,979 How do they pay your commissions, 664 00:28:51,012 --> 00:28:52,447 halos or Hail Marys? 665 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,650 Come again? Maybe harps, asshole, 666 00:28:55,683 --> 00:28:56,584 because Phil French, 667 00:28:56,617 --> 00:29:00,155 you died five years ago from alcoholic poisoning. 668 00:29:00,188 --> 00:29:05,527 Buried in a rainstorm at Forest Lawn like God was crying. 669 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,962 Like God was crying. 670 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,764 Yeah, I know, that was a sad time. 671 00:29:09,797 --> 00:29:11,333 First off, asshole... Yeah. 672 00:29:11,366 --> 00:29:15,303 ...I'm on the do not fucking call list. 673 00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:18,506 I've got a particular set of skills. 674 00:29:18,539 --> 00:29:20,041 Blah, blah, blah. Wherever you are. 675 00:29:20,074 --> 00:29:23,278 [NORMALLY] Take it easy, cowboy, pull the saddle out. 676 00:29:23,311 --> 00:29:24,245 Gotta go. 677 00:29:24,278 --> 00:29:25,947 Motherfucker! 678 00:29:25,980 --> 00:29:26,581 God. Okay. 679 00:29:26,614 --> 00:29:27,916 [♪♪♪♪♪] 680 00:29:27,949 --> 00:29:28,917 [VOCALIZES] 681 00:29:28,950 --> 00:29:32,218 We're good, we're good, we're good. 682 00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,923 [BRITISH ACCENT] Zachary Morris. 683 00:29:34,956 --> 00:29:35,690 Zachary Morris. 684 00:29:35,723 --> 00:29:38,026 Hello, Zachary Morris? How you doing, mate? 685 00:29:38,059 --> 00:29:40,962 Yeah, this is Kasey, over at... [DIAL TONE] 686 00:29:40,995 --> 00:29:43,396 [NORMAL VOICE] Fuck, dumbass. 687 00:29:44,365 --> 00:29:47,102 Hello, you want cable? No? Fuck you. Shit. 688 00:29:47,135 --> 00:29:49,371 [BRITISH ACCENT] I'm all of those things, yeah. 689 00:29:49,404 --> 00:29:50,972 No, I cannot send you a videotape 690 00:29:51,005 --> 00:29:53,241 of me shoving my hand up my own asshole. 691 00:29:53,274 --> 00:29:54,142 [LINE HUMS] Hello? 692 00:29:54,175 --> 00:29:55,710 Hello, you like Internet? No? 693 00:29:55,743 --> 00:29:57,743 Suck my dick. 694 00:29:58,479 --> 00:30:01,649 Come on, Big Fred. What the fuck is going on? 695 00:30:01,682 --> 00:30:04,252 I got this, this is nothing, dude. 696 00:30:04,285 --> 00:30:06,955 This is nothing, bro. 697 00:30:06,988 --> 00:30:08,323 [GROANS] 698 00:30:08,356 --> 00:30:09,190 [LINE TRILLING] 699 00:30:09,223 --> 00:30:12,160 Hello, Genevieve? It's that time of the month again. 700 00:30:12,193 --> 00:30:14,162 Well, not like that, I mean... 701 00:30:14,195 --> 00:30:18,164 Fuck, man. You've got to be kidding me. 702 00:30:18,232 --> 00:30:24,236 I am a swan, and this is my pond. 703 00:30:24,338 --> 00:30:28,376 I am a swan, and this is my pond. 704 00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:30,145 Oh, my God, you look so stupid right now, 705 00:30:30,178 --> 00:30:32,614 wow, this is amazing. I'm channeling my chi, dawg. 706 00:30:32,647 --> 00:30:35,617 Jesus Christ. What are you still doing here? 707 00:30:35,650 --> 00:30:36,751 Catching up on some late work, 708 00:30:36,784 --> 00:30:39,187 but the power's out on our floor, so... 709 00:30:39,220 --> 00:30:40,722 Well, it's a shit building, brother. 710 00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:44,159 But maintenance is coming, they'll be here in a minute. 711 00:30:44,192 --> 00:30:46,995 That's good. I'm glad you're on it. 712 00:30:47,028 --> 00:30:48,029 Self-love, baby. 713 00:30:48,062 --> 00:30:49,595 Try it sometime. 714 00:30:50,631 --> 00:30:53,001 Good, thank you. 715 00:30:53,034 --> 00:30:55,003 Jesus Christ. 716 00:30:55,036 --> 00:30:56,071 Hey, man, you Jim? 717 00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:59,040 Yes, sir. Okay. Um... 718 00:30:59,073 --> 00:31:00,375 So you got your stuff? 719 00:31:00,408 --> 00:31:02,077 Yeah. Follow me. 720 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,542 Following. 721 00:31:05,246 --> 00:31:08,016 Hey, man. I'm a security enforcement specialist, 722 00:31:08,049 --> 00:31:10,716 not a valet. I can't hear you. 723 00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:19,892 I am beautiful, I am kind, I am smart. 724 00:31:21,829 --> 00:31:23,064 [TEXT WHOOSHES] 725 00:31:23,097 --> 00:31:26,501 Hey, what is it you guys do around here anyway? 726 00:31:26,534 --> 00:31:28,436 Uh, telemarketing. 727 00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:29,304 No shit? 728 00:31:29,337 --> 00:31:31,673 This is where they sell me Viagra. 729 00:31:31,706 --> 00:31:32,307 [CHUCKLES] 730 00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:35,243 Yeah, no Viagra here. Well, not yet at least. 731 00:31:35,276 --> 00:31:37,312 Just, cable... Not that I need it. 732 00:31:37,345 --> 00:31:40,279 ...Internet, phone, you know. 733 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:42,750 Oh, fuck. 734 00:31:42,783 --> 00:31:44,416 Oh, boy. 735 00:31:45,219 --> 00:31:47,589 Say, Jim, is it? Yes, sir. 736 00:31:47,622 --> 00:31:52,127 Let me ask you something, how's your Internet connection? 737 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:52,594 So-so. 738 00:31:52,627 --> 00:31:53,761 So-so? That's not good. 739 00:31:53,794 --> 00:31:56,631 That's not good. Uh, TV, phone? 740 00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:59,434 Oh, I see what you're doing. 741 00:31:59,467 --> 00:32:00,702 It depends on if you're buying. 742 00:32:00,735 --> 00:32:03,338 No, I don't really have time for the tube, you know. 743 00:32:03,371 --> 00:32:05,640 I'm just kind of tied up with this stuff. 744 00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:09,244 Right. Speaking of which, how we looking? 745 00:32:09,277 --> 00:32:10,812 You know... Ah. 746 00:32:10,845 --> 00:32:12,480 I brought the wrong tool bag, 747 00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,749 I'm gonna have run back out to the van. 748 00:32:14,782 --> 00:32:16,549 Okay, all right. 749 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,359 So, I mean, how long is that gonna be? I have... 750 00:32:24,392 --> 00:32:25,760 I got a date tonight, so... 751 00:32:25,793 --> 00:32:28,463 Oh, lucky fucker. Yeah. 752 00:32:28,496 --> 00:32:30,231 About 10-15 minutes tops. 753 00:32:30,264 --> 00:32:32,534 I'll be right back. Okay. 754 00:32:32,567 --> 00:32:34,669 10-15, 10-15. 755 00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:36,368 Shit. 756 00:32:38,606 --> 00:32:40,441 What the fuck? 757 00:32:40,474 --> 00:32:42,374 Come on, dude... 758 00:32:42,677 --> 00:32:44,212 [WEAPON WHOOSHES] 759 00:32:44,245 --> 00:32:45,480 [KASEY THUDS] 760 00:32:45,513 --> 00:32:47,680 [RINGING] 761 00:32:51,319 --> 00:32:52,885 [GROANS] 762 00:32:53,521 --> 00:32:54,920 Fuck. 763 00:32:56,824 --> 00:32:57,592 Jesus. 764 00:32:57,625 --> 00:33:00,826 [♪♪♪♪♪] 765 00:33:06,801 --> 00:33:08,701 What the fuck? 766 00:33:10,404 --> 00:33:11,773 Big Fred? 767 00:33:11,806 --> 00:33:15,441 No. Rise and shine. 768 00:33:17,211 --> 00:33:18,379 Oh, shit. 769 00:33:18,412 --> 00:33:21,216 Are you from the Payday Loan? 770 00:33:21,249 --> 00:33:22,350 Hey. 771 00:33:22,383 --> 00:33:23,885 Um... 772 00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:24,686 Hey, man, look. 773 00:33:24,719 --> 00:33:27,255 I can get you your money, I swear. 774 00:33:27,288 --> 00:33:30,656 Just don't cut off my dick. 775 00:33:33,494 --> 00:33:34,862 I'm Asa. 776 00:33:34,895 --> 00:33:37,029 Asa Ellenbogen. 777 00:33:37,698 --> 00:33:39,867 How you doing, Kasey Miller? 778 00:33:39,900 --> 00:33:44,503 Or-or should I say, Phil French? 779 00:33:44,639 --> 00:33:46,741 Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. 780 00:33:46,774 --> 00:33:49,775 No, I-I'm not kidding you. 781 00:33:50,478 --> 00:33:52,313 Where's the electrician? 782 00:33:52,346 --> 00:33:53,712 Oh. 783 00:33:53,981 --> 00:33:55,917 Well, let's just say, uh, 784 00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:58,953 he probably won't be coming back. 785 00:33:58,986 --> 00:34:00,552 Fuck. 786 00:34:01,355 --> 00:34:02,724 Okay, give me my phone, dude. 787 00:34:02,757 --> 00:34:06,525 Where's my phone? Looking for this? 788 00:34:07,495 --> 00:34:07,962 Shit! 789 00:34:07,995 --> 00:34:10,598 More like a big old brick with a computer, 790 00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,301 camera, Interwebs, what have you. 791 00:34:13,334 --> 00:34:16,638 I-I'm gonna keep this in my pocket for you. 792 00:34:16,671 --> 00:34:18,206 Okay. 793 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:18,840 Okay, man. 794 00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,842 I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, 795 00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:26,648 but, um, let's just call it even and go our separate ways. 796 00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:29,315 Go our separate ways? 797 00:34:29,417 --> 00:34:32,618 We was just getting to know each other. 798 00:34:33,254 --> 00:34:37,792 Unlike you, I'm a man of my word. 799 00:34:37,825 --> 00:34:38,826 Hey, look man, just listen. 800 00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:40,695 I wish I could say the same for you. 801 00:34:40,728 --> 00:34:42,830 Look, I get it, I tried to sell you, 802 00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:45,600 a-and that's on me, I'm so sorry about that. 803 00:34:45,633 --> 00:34:47,702 But I was in a real bad position. 804 00:34:47,735 --> 00:34:48,670 I was in a fucked-up spot. 805 00:34:48,703 --> 00:34:50,738 I had to pay back this Payday loan 806 00:34:50,771 --> 00:34:52,006 because I lost a contest. 807 00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:53,541 Oh, well, that's a shame. 808 00:34:53,574 --> 00:34:57,578 How about if you was to hook me up 809 00:34:57,611 --> 00:35:00,481 with the cable-Internet-phone bundle, 810 00:35:00,514 --> 00:35:02,450 free for life, would you win? 811 00:35:02,483 --> 00:35:06,485 With the NFL Sunday Ticket included? 812 00:35:07,888 --> 00:35:10,491 I can't-- Of course you can't! 813 00:35:10,524 --> 00:35:13,728 [♪♪♪♪♪] 814 00:35:13,761 --> 00:35:15,663 You know, while you were sleeping, 815 00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:21,002 I was thinking of all the fun ways I could lay you off. 816 00:35:21,035 --> 00:35:24,272 You know, when you hang around this place long enough, 817 00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:26,474 you develop quite the active imagination. Yeah. 818 00:35:26,507 --> 00:35:29,911 You ever imagine you'd be tied to your office chair 819 00:35:29,944 --> 00:35:32,413 with some old coot on disability 820 00:35:32,446 --> 00:35:35,450 with a fucking gun to your head? 821 00:35:35,483 --> 00:35:36,484 You know, to be fair, 822 00:35:36,517 --> 00:35:38,820 death threats happen all the time, it's a part of the job. 823 00:35:38,853 --> 00:35:42,657 But no, this is the first time that it actually-- 824 00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:45,927 Oh, first time someone actually did it? 825 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,660 Yeah. That about sums it up. 826 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,098 Hey, look, man, listen. 827 00:35:50,131 --> 00:35:52,834 About this whole pretending to be your friend thing. 828 00:35:52,867 --> 00:35:55,803 My dead friend. Uh, yeah. 829 00:35:55,836 --> 00:35:56,671 Yup, because he's dead, 830 00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:59,374 your dead friend thing with the funny name. 831 00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:03,842 Phil French. Oh, he was adopted, jackass. 832 00:36:04,111 --> 00:36:05,413 Yeah, I know, and for that 833 00:36:05,446 --> 00:36:07,315 I am so sorry, about the adoption and everything. 834 00:36:07,348 --> 00:36:10,852 I had nothing to do with the adoption, but I'm sorry anyway. 835 00:36:10,885 --> 00:36:13,054 Are you now? Yeah, truly. You know, 836 00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:15,723 my grandfather, he used to say, 837 00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:18,059 this country was not built on-- 838 00:36:18,092 --> 00:36:22,530 Stop selling for once in your goddamn life. 839 00:36:22,563 --> 00:36:25,066 Do you even know how to have a normal conversation? 840 00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:27,869 Well, damn it, Asa, under normal circumstances, yes. 841 00:36:27,902 --> 00:36:29,804 But this ain't exactly normal now, is it? 842 00:36:29,837 --> 00:36:33,107 In fact, I'll have you know, that people around this office, 843 00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:35,543 they call me the king at conversations. 844 00:36:35,576 --> 00:36:38,012 Yeah. Words are my tools. 845 00:36:38,045 --> 00:36:38,980 Yeah? Yeah. 846 00:36:39,013 --> 00:36:40,815 Words are your sales tools. 847 00:36:40,848 --> 00:36:43,050 I'm talking about real talk. 848 00:36:43,083 --> 00:36:44,452 Here, now. 849 00:36:44,485 --> 00:36:47,422 Let's start with a simple question. 850 00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,956 Why? 851 00:36:48,989 --> 00:36:50,458 Why what? 852 00:36:50,491 --> 00:36:51,692 Why'd you do it, Kasey? 853 00:36:51,725 --> 00:36:53,895 Look, I told you already. Come on, man. 854 00:36:53,928 --> 00:36:56,697 I told you, I had to pay back a debt, you know? 855 00:36:56,730 --> 00:36:59,033 For what? For a, um... 856 00:36:59,066 --> 00:37:02,470 For a ring, you know. An engagement ring. 857 00:37:02,503 --> 00:37:05,737 This girl, she's the love of my life. 858 00:37:06,407 --> 00:37:08,810 Am I supposed to feel all warm and squishy inside? 859 00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:12,046 Look, I tell you what, let me just go to my car and I'll-- 860 00:37:12,079 --> 00:37:14,046 You ain't going nowhere. 861 00:37:15,716 --> 00:37:17,916 Liar, liar. 862 00:37:18,085 --> 00:37:19,854 Okay, hey. Hey, hey, look. 863 00:37:19,887 --> 00:37:22,156 My monitor, my Instagram is up. 864 00:37:22,189 --> 00:37:23,024 Just no B.S., no lies. 865 00:37:23,057 --> 00:37:25,660 Right there. Just hit a key. Just hit a key? 866 00:37:25,693 --> 00:37:27,395 Where do I see it? It's right there, 867 00:37:27,428 --> 00:37:28,529 on the top corner right there. 868 00:37:28,562 --> 00:37:29,831 Well, what am I looking at? 869 00:37:29,864 --> 00:37:32,934 That's her. That's her, right there. 870 00:37:32,967 --> 00:37:34,769 Well, ain't no mention of you. 871 00:37:34,802 --> 00:37:37,672 Well, you know, we like to keep our relationship low. 872 00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:39,707 Like Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Bet when you found out 873 00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,042 they were together you were beside yourself. 874 00:37:41,075 --> 00:37:45,446 Well, lookie here. In her status, it says she's single. 875 00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:47,882 Dang, is that what that says? That's what that says. 876 00:37:47,915 --> 00:37:52,086 Single, ready to mingle. Yeah, you see my point, though? 877 00:37:52,119 --> 00:37:53,354 I do. See my point? 878 00:37:53,387 --> 00:37:56,557 It's some more bullshit, that's the point. 879 00:37:56,590 --> 00:37:58,125 I don't know what that is. 880 00:37:58,158 --> 00:38:01,462 Look, let's play a game. 881 00:38:01,495 --> 00:38:04,866 You like contests, Kasey? Fuck. Um... 882 00:38:04,899 --> 00:38:06,968 What kind of contests we talking? 883 00:38:07,001 --> 00:38:10,404 Now, I'm gonna give you one hour 884 00:38:10,437 --> 00:38:13,875 to apologize on behalf of yourself 885 00:38:13,908 --> 00:38:16,210 and, well, all you wretched scum-sucking 886 00:38:16,243 --> 00:38:18,679 telemarketing sales leeches, 887 00:38:18,712 --> 00:38:20,848 to apologize to as many 888 00:38:20,881 --> 00:38:22,950 of these people as you can. [TAPS KNIFE ON PAPER] 889 00:38:22,983 --> 00:38:27,088 You want me to call the people on the do not call list 890 00:38:27,121 --> 00:38:30,458 and apologize on behalf of the people 891 00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:31,526 who made them want to be put 892 00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,995 on the do not call list in the first place? 893 00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:36,063 And you didn't even take a note. 894 00:38:36,096 --> 00:38:38,332 I don't think they're gonna be too receptive. 895 00:38:38,365 --> 00:38:42,036 Which can be a problem for people seeking forgiveness, 896 00:38:42,069 --> 00:38:43,638 it's true, but that doesn't mean 897 00:38:43,671 --> 00:38:46,707 you don't need to be forgiven, Kasey. 898 00:38:46,740 --> 00:38:48,140 I guess. 899 00:38:49,043 --> 00:38:50,177 You guess. 900 00:38:50,210 --> 00:38:51,479 Well, don't you think 901 00:38:51,512 --> 00:38:54,782 that if you wronged someone and you know it, 902 00:38:54,815 --> 00:38:56,717 that you have to seek forgiveness? 903 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:58,653 That you have a responsibility? 904 00:38:58,686 --> 00:39:00,521 [SOBBING] Okay, man, now this is starting to sound 905 00:39:00,554 --> 00:39:03,558 a lot like Sunday School, and I hate Sunday School. 906 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,493 Sister Johnson was my teacher, she had no legs, 907 00:39:05,526 --> 00:39:08,996 she used to make me carry her around like a backpack. 908 00:39:09,029 --> 00:39:09,697 [SOBBING] 909 00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:14,099 This is the night of your redemption, Kasey. 910 00:39:14,568 --> 00:39:17,238 If you can get just one person 911 00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:20,005 to accept your apology... 912 00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:23,775 then you can go home. 913 00:39:23,844 --> 00:39:28,583 Now, you see, the choice is all yours. 914 00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:31,852 Okay, um, what if they don't accept? 915 00:39:31,885 --> 00:39:37,823 Well, then you can give my very best to Phil French. 916 00:39:38,826 --> 00:39:40,926 Let's get to dialing. 917 00:39:43,263 --> 00:39:44,832 Oh, I'm so fucked. 918 00:39:44,865 --> 00:39:45,600 I'm so fucked. 919 00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:48,169 Now. Okay, all right. 920 00:39:48,202 --> 00:39:50,071 Oh, shit! 921 00:39:50,104 --> 00:39:51,005 Goddamn it, man! 922 00:39:51,038 --> 00:39:54,308 You son of a bitch, you shot Big Fred. 923 00:39:54,341 --> 00:39:55,610 Apologies to Fred. 924 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:58,579 At least now he knows it's loaded. 925 00:39:58,612 --> 00:39:59,914 All right, man. 926 00:39:59,947 --> 00:40:02,650 Speakerphone. Speakerphone. Okay, okay. 927 00:40:02,683 --> 00:40:05,684 [LINE TRILLING] Oh... 928 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,289 Give it your best. 929 00:40:08,322 --> 00:40:09,757 MAN: Yeah, who this? 930 00:40:09,790 --> 00:40:10,858 Congratulations. 931 00:40:10,891 --> 00:40:14,061 You have been personally selected to receive 932 00:40:14,094 --> 00:40:16,897 a once-in-a-lifetime apology. 933 00:40:16,930 --> 00:40:21,302 On behalf of myself as well as all telemarketers 934 00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,238 around the whole globe. 935 00:40:24,271 --> 00:40:25,206 Huh? Um... 936 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,977 We are deeply sorry for all of our past transgressions. 937 00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:31,979 You tripping. [LINE HUMS] 938 00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:33,347 So that's your approach? 939 00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:35,316 Maybe I should just shoot you now, 940 00:40:35,349 --> 00:40:36,951 put you out of your misery. 941 00:40:36,984 --> 00:40:38,586 No, no, look, look. 942 00:40:38,619 --> 00:40:39,820 To be fair, I'm not in my element. 943 00:40:39,853 --> 00:40:42,289 And RIP Big Fred, you know what I mean? 944 00:40:42,322 --> 00:40:45,359 I miss you, my nigga. I gotta get focused. 945 00:40:45,392 --> 00:40:49,597 It's showtime, you motherfucker. You ain't shit, yes I am. 946 00:40:49,630 --> 00:40:51,098 Dial! Okay, okay. 947 00:40:51,131 --> 00:40:53,668 [LINE TRILLING] [SIGHS] 948 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:55,770 Hey, how you doing there, Mrs. Goldfarb, 949 00:40:55,803 --> 00:40:58,039 how's this evening treating you? 950 00:40:58,072 --> 00:40:59,273 Fine. What is this about? 951 00:40:59,306 --> 00:41:01,208 I want to apologize on behalf of myself 952 00:41:01,241 --> 00:41:04,045 and all the telemarketers that may have contacted you 953 00:41:04,078 --> 00:41:07,615 and called your mobile or your home phone in the past. 954 00:41:07,648 --> 00:41:10,718 Do you, um, accept our apology? 955 00:41:10,751 --> 00:41:13,788 You've got to be kidding me. No, okay. 956 00:41:13,821 --> 00:41:15,923 I'm not kidding you. Let's start there. 957 00:41:15,956 --> 00:41:17,024 This is a very serious thing. 958 00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:19,260 Do you accept our apology? I'm hanging up now. 959 00:41:19,293 --> 00:41:22,763 No, no, please, don't hang up. Okay, I'm losing my thread here. 960 00:41:22,796 --> 00:41:25,099 I want to give you something deep and personal. 961 00:41:25,132 --> 00:41:27,768 William, there's some creep on the phone. 962 00:41:27,801 --> 00:41:30,004 You're in big trouble now, mister. 963 00:41:30,037 --> 00:41:31,338 WILLIAM: Look here, you piece of shit. 964 00:41:31,371 --> 00:41:33,974 Fuck me. I advise you to hang up now, 965 00:41:34,007 --> 00:41:35,076 or I'm gonna shove my shotgun 966 00:41:35,109 --> 00:41:36,877 down your throat and make an omelet 967 00:41:36,910 --> 00:41:40,381 with your goddamn tonsils, you freak. 968 00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:42,283 And I deserve that, sir. 969 00:41:42,316 --> 00:41:43,150 I truly do deserve that. 970 00:41:43,183 --> 00:41:45,319 You have yourself a blessed evening. 971 00:41:45,352 --> 00:41:46,120 [LINE HUMS] 972 00:41:46,153 --> 00:41:49,356 You know, my wife used to get these kinds of calls, 973 00:41:49,389 --> 00:41:53,728 but she was kinder than me. She was too kind. 974 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,831 You know, she used to think about you kids 975 00:41:56,864 --> 00:41:59,433 in places like this trying to make ends meet. 976 00:41:59,466 --> 00:42:05,740 Kind of made her a perfect prey for the vultures. 977 00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:10,277 You'd call the house, you'd call her cell phone. 978 00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:13,013 You'd sell, sell, sell and she'd buy, 979 00:42:13,046 --> 00:42:17,382 buy, buy, and then we'd fight. 980 00:42:18,952 --> 00:42:21,155 I'm sorry about that, sir. 981 00:42:21,188 --> 00:42:22,921 No, you ain't. 982 00:42:23,891 --> 00:42:25,693 What's your girlfriend's name again? 983 00:42:25,726 --> 00:42:27,128 The one that says she's single? 984 00:42:27,161 --> 00:42:29,964 Uh, again, that was just a misunderstanding, 985 00:42:29,997 --> 00:42:33,134 we're actually together, I just want to let you know that. 986 00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:35,970 Yeah? Christine. Her name is Christine. 987 00:42:36,003 --> 00:42:37,705 Let's say a miracle were to happen, 988 00:42:37,738 --> 00:42:39,940 and the two of you were to get hitched. 989 00:42:39,973 --> 00:42:45,279 Now, if she bought a load of crap every day on the phone, 990 00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:47,348 would that be good for your marriage? 991 00:42:47,381 --> 00:42:49,316 Uh, to be fair, she is her own woman, 992 00:42:49,349 --> 00:42:51,786 and I wouldn't have a say in the matter. 993 00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,354 But if she spent all your money? 994 00:42:53,387 --> 00:42:57,491 [CHUCKLES] Well, you know, a psychologist in this town 995 00:42:57,524 --> 00:42:58,993 makes a lot of money, so... 996 00:42:59,026 --> 00:43:02,830 Now, I'm gonna give you one more chance to answer my question. 997 00:43:02,863 --> 00:43:04,999 Would you want your future wife 998 00:43:05,032 --> 00:43:09,901 to buy a load of crap from people like you? 999 00:43:10,871 --> 00:43:12,838 No, sir, I would not. 1000 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,277 Well, that's the first honest thing you've said all night. 1001 00:43:16,310 --> 00:43:18,910 [POLICE SIREN CHIRPS IN DISTANCE] 1002 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:21,313 [SIREN CHIRPS] 1003 00:43:23,050 --> 00:43:26,251 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1004 00:43:27,921 --> 00:43:28,856 Goddamn it. 1005 00:43:28,889 --> 00:43:32,424 Listen, you're gonna get rid of this guy. 1006 00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:37,295 Go get, get, get. Okay. Okay. 1007 00:43:42,336 --> 00:43:46,040 I swear to Christ, if you fucking make a run for it, 1008 00:43:46,073 --> 00:43:46,974 I'll follow you down, 1009 00:43:47,007 --> 00:43:48,909 and I'll blow a hole in your fucking spine. 1010 00:43:48,942 --> 00:43:51,879 If that cop comes this way, I'll blow a hole in his spine. 1011 00:43:51,912 --> 00:43:55,149 Okay, okay, fine, so what should I tell him then? 1012 00:43:55,182 --> 00:43:58,385 Just tap into that active imagination. 1013 00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:00,652 Okay, I'll just lie to him. 1014 00:44:01,054 --> 00:44:02,621 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1015 00:44:07,361 --> 00:44:12,297 Good evening. I didn't see you there, this glass door. 1016 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:14,935 [DOOR CLOSES] We, um, got a report 1017 00:44:14,968 --> 00:44:16,303 about a shot fired in the area. 1018 00:44:16,336 --> 00:44:17,471 Have you heard anything? 1019 00:44:17,504 --> 00:44:19,139 A shot fired? Yeah. 1020 00:44:19,172 --> 00:44:20,040 In this building? 1021 00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:23,010 Wow, it's such a peaceful community building. 1022 00:44:23,043 --> 00:44:24,478 You know, um, no. 1023 00:44:24,511 --> 00:44:26,113 Oh! Now I understand. 1024 00:44:26,146 --> 00:44:30,017 It must've been the cherry bomb. Was it the cherry bomb? 1025 00:44:30,050 --> 00:44:31,218 Cherry bomb? 1026 00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:32,586 It was a cherry bomb, yeah. 1027 00:44:32,619 --> 00:44:34,221 You know it's not the 4th of July, right? 1028 00:44:34,254 --> 00:44:37,191 It's not the 4th of July, and I know that. 1029 00:44:37,224 --> 00:44:41,195 Um, you know, we're telemarketers, right? 1030 00:44:41,228 --> 00:44:43,464 We work late sometimes, 1031 00:44:43,497 --> 00:44:44,832 and we play pranks on each other 1032 00:44:44,865 --> 00:44:50,101 to build the morale around the office, you know? 1033 00:44:50,404 --> 00:44:52,072 Yeah, we know. 1034 00:44:52,105 --> 00:44:53,040 So who else is here? 1035 00:44:53,073 --> 00:44:55,309 Oh, just me. I know what you're thinking. 1036 00:44:55,342 --> 00:44:57,311 I'm, like, you know, I'm the team leader, 1037 00:44:57,344 --> 00:44:58,946 so they look up to me, so when I'm here alone, 1038 00:44:58,979 --> 00:45:02,383 I still do the pranks to keep up the tradition. 1039 00:45:02,416 --> 00:45:04,184 You know what I mean? 1040 00:45:04,217 --> 00:45:06,217 Yeah. Yeah. 1041 00:45:08,221 --> 00:45:09,390 All right. Yeah. 1042 00:45:09,423 --> 00:45:11,592 Well, um, no more cherry bombs. 1043 00:45:11,625 --> 00:45:14,028 Ah. You got it. You know? 1044 00:45:14,061 --> 00:45:16,363 Hey, um, you guys-- 1045 00:45:16,396 --> 00:45:19,466 You guys sell Internet here, right? 1046 00:45:19,499 --> 00:45:20,234 Yes, we do. 1047 00:45:20,267 --> 00:45:23,003 My two teens are just obsessed 1048 00:45:23,036 --> 00:45:25,472 with goddamn online gaming. 1049 00:45:25,505 --> 00:45:26,607 Just killing my bandwidth. 1050 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,310 Think I need one of those, um-- Those fiber optics? 1051 00:45:29,343 --> 00:45:30,311 Fiber optics. Yeah. 1052 00:45:30,344 --> 00:45:33,180 You guys got any special deals or...? 1053 00:45:33,213 --> 00:45:34,014 I'm so sorry, sir, 1054 00:45:34,047 --> 00:45:37,282 your timing could not have been worse. 1055 00:45:38,352 --> 00:45:40,986 But you know something? 1056 00:45:41,321 --> 00:45:42,423 I'm sorry for that. 1057 00:45:42,456 --> 00:45:43,590 I'm sorry for your inconvenience. 1058 00:45:43,623 --> 00:45:47,461 In fact, I want to apologize on behalf of all telemarketers, 1059 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,630 all over the world. 1060 00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:52,430 So do you forgive us? 1061 00:45:54,935 --> 00:45:56,070 Uh, sure. 1062 00:45:56,103 --> 00:45:57,671 All right. Sure whatever. 1063 00:45:57,704 --> 00:45:59,139 That is so great to hear. 1064 00:45:59,172 --> 00:46:00,441 No more cherry bombs. 1065 00:46:00,474 --> 00:46:02,242 [LAUGHS] No more cherry bombs. 1066 00:46:02,275 --> 00:46:04,078 I love you. That's weird. 1067 00:46:04,111 --> 00:46:06,177 [DOOR CLOSES] 1068 00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:09,283 You heard, right? Yes, I did. 1069 00:46:09,316 --> 00:46:12,586 Okay, I apologized on behalf of all telemarketers, 1070 00:46:12,619 --> 00:46:13,487 and he accepted. 1071 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,355 Yeah, but it wasn't on the phone. 1072 00:46:17,491 --> 00:46:20,027 That's our arrangement. Come on, man! 1073 00:46:20,060 --> 00:46:20,995 You wreak havoc on the phone, 1074 00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,663 you make things right on the phone. 1075 00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:26,031 Shit! Excuse me? 1076 00:46:26,266 --> 00:46:29,603 I'm saying, you know, I gotta take a shit. I-- 1077 00:46:29,636 --> 00:46:31,071 I've been so backed up lately. 1078 00:46:31,104 --> 00:46:34,572 I've been trying to eat my carrots... 1079 00:46:38,445 --> 00:46:39,380 Four minutes. 1080 00:46:39,413 --> 00:46:42,182 Really? You're timing my poops? 1081 00:46:42,215 --> 00:46:43,417 Three minutes. 1082 00:46:43,450 --> 00:46:44,685 Come on, dude, I'm backed up. 1083 00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:46,887 I don't know how long it's gonna... 1084 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,024 This is some unconstitutional shit, literally. 1085 00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,091 Okay? Mm-hm. 1086 00:46:51,124 --> 00:46:53,527 Hey, uh, mind if I use your phone? 1087 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,097 Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead, man. Just gotta dial 9 at the desk. 1088 00:46:57,130 --> 00:46:58,098 You know, you can't call Mexico, 1089 00:46:58,131 --> 00:47:00,000 because sometimes it gets a little wonky. 1090 00:47:00,033 --> 00:47:02,236 I mean the one in your pocket. 1091 00:47:02,269 --> 00:47:04,736 In my pocket? 1092 00:47:05,605 --> 00:47:07,041 What? 1093 00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,474 Oh, my God. 1094 00:47:09,776 --> 00:47:11,378 That's crazy. 1095 00:47:11,411 --> 00:47:13,580 Two minutes, 45 seconds. 1096 00:47:13,613 --> 00:47:15,480 Shit, okay. 1097 00:47:16,216 --> 00:47:20,251 [EXHALES] Okay. Okay, think. 1098 00:47:20,787 --> 00:47:22,556 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1099 00:47:22,589 --> 00:47:25,657 What would Bruce Willis do? 1100 00:47:28,161 --> 00:47:28,729 Oh, shit. 1101 00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,697 ASA: Clock's ticking, Kasey! Fuck. 1102 00:47:30,730 --> 00:47:33,133 Yeah, I'm... 1103 00:47:33,166 --> 00:47:35,702 It's something I ate, man. 1104 00:47:35,735 --> 00:47:37,471 [QUIETLY] Fuck, Kasey! 1105 00:47:37,504 --> 00:47:39,006 ASA: Don't make me come in there 1106 00:47:39,039 --> 00:47:42,373 and shoot you while you're shitting! 1107 00:47:46,346 --> 00:47:48,847 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1108 00:47:51,418 --> 00:47:53,518 [TAP WATER RUNS] 1109 00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:00,427 Kasey! 1110 00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:02,527 [PANTING] 1111 00:48:04,664 --> 00:48:06,531 Yeah. 1112 00:48:07,167 --> 00:48:08,733 Okay. 1113 00:48:12,205 --> 00:48:15,609 [SCOFFS] It's bad in there. 1114 00:48:15,642 --> 00:48:16,243 Get. 1115 00:48:16,276 --> 00:48:17,611 I had to wipe from front to back. 1116 00:48:17,644 --> 00:48:20,211 ASA: Oh, good for you. 1117 00:48:26,186 --> 00:48:28,188 What you looking at? 1118 00:48:28,221 --> 00:48:28,822 This bullshit. 1119 00:48:28,855 --> 00:48:31,158 ASA: Looks like you all want to be 1120 00:48:31,191 --> 00:48:33,794 the next Big Red, don't you? 1121 00:48:33,827 --> 00:48:36,763 Fred, it's Big Fred. 1122 00:48:36,796 --> 00:48:37,664 Was he good? 1123 00:48:37,697 --> 00:48:40,400 Well, they say he sold the downtown Marriott, so... 1124 00:48:40,433 --> 00:48:42,736 Well, that must've been some commission. 1125 00:48:42,769 --> 00:48:45,272 Yeah, and they didn't pay him in halos either. 1126 00:48:45,305 --> 00:48:49,209 Looks like Barry is the next Fred. 1127 00:48:49,242 --> 00:48:50,775 No. 1128 00:48:51,211 --> 00:48:55,115 That's beginner's luck, unfortunately. 1129 00:48:55,148 --> 00:48:56,583 Well, now... 1130 00:48:56,616 --> 00:49:01,155 if it had have happened like that, 1131 00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,290 we'd have never met. 1132 00:49:03,323 --> 00:49:05,957 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1133 00:49:11,131 --> 00:49:13,464 [LINE TRILLING] 1134 00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:17,804 Hello, Miss Daniels. 1135 00:49:17,837 --> 00:49:19,506 [DIAL TONE BUZZES] 1136 00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:20,240 She hung up. 1137 00:49:20,273 --> 00:49:22,543 All right, loser, dial another. 1138 00:49:22,576 --> 00:49:23,343 Come on, Asa. 1139 00:49:23,376 --> 00:49:25,379 Really? How much longer we doing this for, huh? 1140 00:49:25,412 --> 00:49:27,514 That attitude will get you fired. 1141 00:49:27,547 --> 00:49:28,582 You don't get it, man. 1142 00:49:28,615 --> 00:49:32,152 This isn't me. I don't really do this. 1143 00:49:32,185 --> 00:49:33,220 Do what? 1144 00:49:33,253 --> 00:49:34,421 You know, call up-- Call up people 1145 00:49:34,454 --> 00:49:36,190 and pretend to be their dead friend. 1146 00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:38,559 You don't understand. No, I understand perfectly. 1147 00:49:38,592 --> 00:49:40,160 You want to buy a ring for a girl 1148 00:49:40,193 --> 00:49:42,796 who doesn't even want to put your goddamn name 1149 00:49:42,829 --> 00:49:44,862 on her Snapperface. 1150 00:49:44,931 --> 00:49:47,267 Now, oh, and keep it on speakerphone. 1151 00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:51,436 No more gimmicks, no more lies. Come on. 1152 00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:53,574 Dial. 1153 00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:55,873 [CELL PHONE VIBRATES] Wait. 1154 00:49:57,611 --> 00:50:00,847 Ooh. Message from Christine. 1155 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:01,515 Really? 1156 00:50:01,548 --> 00:50:07,852 "You are the worst person ever for not calling me back. 1157 00:50:08,288 --> 00:50:09,289 "Never call me again. 1158 00:50:09,322 --> 00:50:13,894 In fact, you can erase my number." 1159 00:50:13,927 --> 00:50:17,598 Ooh. Snap, crackle, pop. 1160 00:50:17,631 --> 00:50:19,800 She said-- She-- She wrote all that? 1161 00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:23,770 Indeed. I guess Bey-Z 2.0 ended after all. 1162 00:50:23,803 --> 00:50:26,640 Okay, look, look, look, look. Keep me locked up. 1163 00:50:26,673 --> 00:50:29,176 That's fine. I just-- I just need to text her back, 1164 00:50:29,209 --> 00:50:30,444 because if I don't text her back, 1165 00:50:30,477 --> 00:50:31,912 she'll think something's wrong, and it is. 1166 00:50:31,945 --> 00:50:33,480 You're trying to kill me, you know, so... 1167 00:50:33,513 --> 00:50:37,718 We'll probably just prolong the inevitable, you know. 1168 00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:41,755 Seen it all too often, see how guys like you end up. 1169 00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:46,557 Alone, nothing but your lies. 1170 00:50:46,693 --> 00:50:49,861 Why don't you go ahead and dial? 1171 00:50:50,397 --> 00:50:52,063 Put a smile on. 1172 00:50:55,001 --> 00:50:57,735 [HITS BUTTONS] [DIAL TONE BUZZES] 1173 00:51:02,342 --> 00:51:04,876 [PHONE LINE RINGS] 1174 00:51:05,345 --> 00:51:07,381 WOMAN: Hello? Hello, ma'am. 1175 00:51:07,414 --> 00:51:11,685 I'm calling on behalf of telemarketers everywhere. 1176 00:51:11,718 --> 00:51:13,954 Kasey, is that you? 1177 00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:15,222 Uh, yes, it is. 1178 00:51:15,255 --> 00:51:19,426 Your voice sounds different, but I recognized the number. 1179 00:51:19,459 --> 00:51:22,727 I never did get my Rick James wig. 1180 00:51:25,398 --> 00:51:26,833 Mrs. Hanks, hi. 1181 00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:29,436 Um, yeah, about that. 1182 00:51:29,469 --> 00:51:30,837 I am so sorry. 1183 00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:31,471 Sorry? 1184 00:51:31,504 --> 00:51:33,340 Young man, I think I owe you an apology 1185 00:51:33,373 --> 00:51:35,442 for that video that's been going around. 1186 00:51:35,475 --> 00:51:39,713 That granddaughter of mine is too darn overprotective, 1187 00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:41,481 watches me like a hawk. 1188 00:51:41,514 --> 00:51:42,449 Hell, I'm surprised 1189 00:51:42,482 --> 00:51:43,984 you were able to call me on this old line 1190 00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:47,321 since you put me on that, what's it called? 1191 00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:48,855 The "do not call" list. 1192 00:51:48,888 --> 00:51:50,590 Yeah, that's the one. 1193 00:51:50,623 --> 00:51:52,559 I'm glad you did anyways. 1194 00:51:52,592 --> 00:51:55,696 You're helping to keep America safe. 1195 00:51:55,729 --> 00:51:56,797 Such a sweet young man. 1196 00:51:56,830 --> 00:51:59,399 I was hoping to get a chance to see you. 1197 00:51:59,432 --> 00:52:01,735 Thank you, you're, uh... You're sweet too. 1198 00:52:01,768 --> 00:52:03,868 Listen, I... 1199 00:52:05,271 --> 00:52:08,840 The reason I'm calling is because I, um... 1200 00:52:12,512 --> 00:52:15,613 The reason I'm calling is... 1201 00:52:17,450 --> 00:52:21,755 Actually, ma'am, I'm just calling to say hi. 1202 00:52:21,788 --> 00:52:24,558 Well, thank you, Kasey. 1203 00:52:24,591 --> 00:52:26,760 Thank you, ma'am. You have a good night. 1204 00:52:26,793 --> 00:52:31,662 Well, you have a great night too. Okay, bye-bye. 1205 00:52:32,332 --> 00:52:33,865 Bye. 1206 00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:39,639 Well, ain't that something, Kasey Miller. 1207 00:52:39,672 --> 00:52:45,812 I have never witnessed something so genuinely touching, 1208 00:52:45,845 --> 00:52:47,981 so genuinely heartfelt, 1209 00:52:48,014 --> 00:52:53,954 and yet somehow so thoroughly disgusting 1210 00:52:53,987 --> 00:52:55,655 in all my days. 1211 00:52:55,688 --> 00:52:58,759 I mean, taking advantage of a little old lady? 1212 00:52:58,792 --> 00:53:02,062 You are some piece of work. 1213 00:53:02,095 --> 00:53:02,963 I'm hungry. 1214 00:53:02,996 --> 00:53:05,031 Where the hell's the kitchen? 1215 00:53:05,064 --> 00:53:06,533 In the back. 1216 00:53:06,566 --> 00:53:09,903 I hope you like Red Vines and Kit Kats. 1217 00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:11,371 Yeah, whatever. 1218 00:53:11,404 --> 00:53:13,940 No funny business. I'll be right back. 1219 00:53:13,973 --> 00:53:17,475 Can you bring me back a Fresca? 1220 00:53:18,411 --> 00:53:20,013 Well, there. 1221 00:53:20,046 --> 00:53:23,748 [ALUMINUM SNACK BAG CRINKLING] 1222 00:53:31,157 --> 00:53:32,924 Fuck. 1223 00:53:37,063 --> 00:53:38,930 Shit. 1224 00:53:51,945 --> 00:53:52,813 Fuck. 1225 00:53:52,846 --> 00:53:56,082 Fats! They're trying to assassinate me! 1226 00:53:56,115 --> 00:53:58,683 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1227 00:54:02,088 --> 00:54:04,121 Found another tool. 1228 00:54:06,025 --> 00:54:09,563 Wild guess. You're not the maintenance guy. 1229 00:54:09,596 --> 00:54:11,097 Gold star for you. 1230 00:54:11,130 --> 00:54:13,166 My dad texted you. 1231 00:54:13,199 --> 00:54:15,666 Said he was gonna kill you? 1232 00:54:15,902 --> 00:54:18,572 You didn't text back. That's rude. 1233 00:54:18,605 --> 00:54:20,073 Now you're running off on him? 1234 00:54:20,106 --> 00:54:22,909 Is it too late to text him back now? 1235 00:54:22,942 --> 00:54:24,144 Oh, yeah, come on. 1236 00:54:24,177 --> 00:54:25,145 Okay. U-turn. 1237 00:54:25,178 --> 00:54:26,480 I can hit him back right now. 1238 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,181 I'll hit him back right now. 1239 00:54:28,214 --> 00:54:31,117 I'll send, like, funny emojis. 1240 00:54:31,150 --> 00:54:32,652 I got a few gifs. 1241 00:54:32,685 --> 00:54:36,587 Is it gifs or is it jifs? The time for that is gone. 1242 00:54:39,225 --> 00:54:42,796 ASA: Now, you shouldn't have run off like that, Kasey. 1243 00:54:42,829 --> 00:54:45,999 Just when I was warming up to you. 1244 00:54:46,032 --> 00:54:47,968 I see you met my son. 1245 00:54:48,001 --> 00:54:48,668 Yeah. 1246 00:54:48,701 --> 00:54:50,871 ASA: You said he can get a job here. 1247 00:54:50,904 --> 00:54:53,173 Remember that, Phil French? 1248 00:54:53,206 --> 00:54:54,140 Right. 1249 00:54:54,173 --> 00:54:57,077 I say we go big on this one, Dad. 1250 00:54:57,110 --> 00:54:58,812 Let's take him to the boat. 1251 00:54:58,845 --> 00:55:01,948 Gut him like a fish, dump him in the bay. 1252 00:55:01,981 --> 00:55:03,049 He's a telemarketer. 1253 00:55:03,082 --> 00:55:07,087 Yeah, maybe that's where we end up at. 1254 00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,020 I don't know. 1255 00:55:09,689 --> 00:55:13,627 I say we give him one last chance at redemption. 1256 00:55:13,660 --> 00:55:15,795 DEAN: Redemption? 1257 00:55:15,828 --> 00:55:17,030 ASA: Yes, redemption. 1258 00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:18,231 To show us he's learned his lesson. 1259 00:55:18,264 --> 00:55:21,468 Now, that sounds like a "get out of jail free" card. 1260 00:55:21,501 --> 00:55:22,936 Where was my redemption last month 1261 00:55:22,969 --> 00:55:24,704 when I was locked up in county? 1262 00:55:24,737 --> 00:55:25,205 Remember? 1263 00:55:25,238 --> 00:55:27,807 Parole violation? You wouldn't bail me out! 1264 00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:28,608 No, no, no! 1265 00:55:28,641 --> 00:55:32,679 You needed to be taught a lesson, just like Kasey, 1266 00:55:32,712 --> 00:55:33,580 and that's what we call 1267 00:55:33,613 --> 00:55:35,715 deterrence theory. Huh? 1268 00:55:35,748 --> 00:55:38,151 Fear of extreme measures taken to prevent 1269 00:55:38,184 --> 00:55:41,154 the reoccurrence of a particular offense. 1270 00:55:41,187 --> 00:55:43,657 But if we kill him now, 1271 00:55:43,690 --> 00:55:47,825 wouldn't that prevent a recurrence of an offense? 1272 00:55:48,595 --> 00:55:52,232 Well, yes it would, but if we take his life, 1273 00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:55,101 I want to be sure we had no choice. 1274 00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:57,203 Okay, I'm so sorry about this, 1275 00:55:57,236 --> 00:55:59,105 I hate to interrupt such a strong 1276 00:55:59,138 --> 00:56:00,607 and very warm family moment. 1277 00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,677 However, Dean, if you kill me, 1278 00:56:03,710 --> 00:56:05,879 that is in direct violation of your parole. 1279 00:56:05,912 --> 00:56:07,681 You saying you gonna snitch me out? 1280 00:56:07,714 --> 00:56:10,617 Man, I can't snitch if I'm dead. I'm just sayin'. 1281 00:56:10,650 --> 00:56:12,586 Now, son, son, son. 1282 00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:13,553 Okay. 1283 00:56:13,586 --> 00:56:14,988 What'd you do that for? 1284 00:56:15,021 --> 00:56:16,089 You're a fucking hothead 1285 00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:17,757 with nothing but bricks for brains. 1286 00:56:17,790 --> 00:56:19,593 That's how you got caught in the first place. 1287 00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:21,628 I got caught because of that bitch-ass snitch! 1288 00:56:21,661 --> 00:56:23,129 A snitch you aligned yourself with-- 1289 00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:27,832 Yeah, I aligned this to his fucking dome, bam! 1290 00:56:28,201 --> 00:56:29,836 Allegedly. [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 1291 00:56:29,869 --> 00:56:30,870 I didn't hear nothing. 1292 00:56:30,903 --> 00:56:32,205 That's right. Hold the phone. 1293 00:56:32,238 --> 00:56:33,607 DEAN: What? What? 1294 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,042 What's this here, on the Face what's-its? 1295 00:56:36,075 --> 00:56:37,777 What is it? The Face what's-it? 1296 00:56:37,810 --> 00:56:39,079 Who's calling you? 1297 00:56:39,112 --> 00:56:41,081 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER VIDEO] 1298 00:56:41,114 --> 00:56:44,348 [SPECTATORS CHEER AND WHOOP] 1299 00:56:45,852 --> 00:56:47,287 Yo, what's up, bitches? 1300 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,788 Check it out, this boo-yeah face. 1301 00:56:53,226 --> 00:56:54,060 Drunkards. 1302 00:56:54,093 --> 00:56:56,029 KASEY: Drunkards. And naked womens. 1303 00:56:56,062 --> 00:56:57,297 Yeah, that's what it looks like. 1304 00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:59,866 That's a labia, right there. Where are you? 1305 00:56:59,899 --> 00:57:01,134 Yeah, that's definitely a labia. 1306 00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:04,304 Barry wants an encore! Oh, no. 1307 00:57:04,337 --> 00:57:05,839 [DRUNKEN LAUGHTER] 1308 00:57:05,872 --> 00:57:06,973 I'm practically engaged. 1309 00:57:07,006 --> 00:57:11,845 He leads a Sunday School choir when he's not at the strip club 1310 00:57:11,878 --> 00:57:13,013 and, uh, slapping them cheeks. 1311 00:57:13,046 --> 00:57:16,781 Come back when you're practically married. 1312 00:57:17,283 --> 00:57:20,117 Yeah! Yeah! 1313 00:57:20,620 --> 00:57:21,788 That brings back some memories. 1314 00:57:21,821 --> 00:57:23,990 Yeah, you mean the time you was banned? 1315 00:57:24,023 --> 00:57:27,027 Come on, like I'm the first guy to use a counterfeit 20 1316 00:57:27,060 --> 00:57:28,028 for a lap dance? 1317 00:57:28,061 --> 00:57:29,195 That's actually pretty genius. 1318 00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:31,131 Yeah, you like that? She's pretty good. 1319 00:57:31,164 --> 00:57:33,733 Enough! Keep your eye on him. 1320 00:57:33,766 --> 00:57:35,301 My blood sugar's going to shit. 1321 00:57:35,334 --> 00:57:37,702 KASEY: That's pretty good. 1322 00:57:37,770 --> 00:57:38,838 Let me ask you something, man. 1323 00:57:38,871 --> 00:57:41,708 Are you up to speed with what your dad's doing? 1324 00:57:41,741 --> 00:57:42,709 Totally. Really? 1325 00:57:42,742 --> 00:57:46,346 Because all of this for a damn apology seems a bit much, right? 1326 00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:48,114 ASA: I can hear you. 1327 00:57:48,147 --> 00:57:48,715 Shit. 1328 00:57:48,748 --> 00:57:51,115 ASA: I suggest you make calls. 1329 00:57:51,417 --> 00:57:53,620 Dad, how long am I supposed to give him? 1330 00:57:53,653 --> 00:57:55,720 ASA: Thirty minutes! 1331 00:57:55,988 --> 00:57:56,823 So better start dialing. 1332 00:57:56,856 --> 00:58:01,459 My hands are tied, literally, so... 1333 00:58:02,995 --> 00:58:04,097 Just one hand. 1334 00:58:04,130 --> 00:58:07,133 Don't try anything. I won't. I just... 1335 00:58:07,166 --> 00:58:08,935 Come on. 1336 00:58:08,968 --> 00:58:10,303 Ow. Oh, Jesus. 1337 00:58:10,336 --> 00:58:11,638 Son of a bitch. 1338 00:58:11,671 --> 00:58:14,874 Okay, now just cut the other one loose. 1339 00:58:14,907 --> 00:58:16,676 No? All right, that's fair. 1340 00:58:16,709 --> 00:58:17,811 You think I'm stupid? 1341 00:58:17,844 --> 00:58:20,146 Is that a trick question? 1342 00:58:20,179 --> 00:58:22,346 [LAUGHS] 1343 00:58:23,683 --> 00:58:24,984 I'm so-- It's really hard. 1344 00:58:25,017 --> 00:58:26,986 As you can see, this is such a... 1345 00:58:27,019 --> 00:58:29,386 Yeah, you have to figure it out. 1346 00:58:29,989 --> 00:58:32,058 Thought you're supposed to be good at this. 1347 00:58:32,091 --> 00:58:33,927 There we go, let me just... 1348 00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:34,994 There you go, perfect. 1349 00:58:35,027 --> 00:58:36,896 You're making this complicated for both of us. 1350 00:58:36,929 --> 00:58:39,199 You look good though. Thank you very much. 1351 00:58:39,232 --> 00:58:41,901 That gun is making me very nervous, man, 1352 00:58:41,934 --> 00:58:43,136 I'm just saying-- 1353 00:58:43,169 --> 00:58:45,305 [DIALING] Dial faster. Go. 1354 00:58:45,338 --> 00:58:49,974 [BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING] [ADA HUMMING] 1355 00:58:56,482 --> 00:58:59,119 My pops really knows how to hold a grudge. 1356 00:58:59,152 --> 00:59:01,187 I'm right there with you, you know what I mean? 1357 00:59:01,220 --> 00:59:03,423 I survived my dad, and phew, yeah. 1358 00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:04,858 He a hard ass? 1359 00:59:04,891 --> 00:59:06,259 Oh, you have no idea. 1360 00:59:06,292 --> 00:59:07,093 You know, he was-- 1361 00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:09,796 Well, he started out as a prosecutor, 1362 00:59:09,829 --> 00:59:10,864 and now he's a judge, you know. 1363 00:59:10,897 --> 00:59:13,767 I blink in the wrong direction, I'm sweating bullets. 1364 00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:14,734 No shit? No shit. 1365 00:59:14,767 --> 00:59:16,436 And he wants you to follow in his footsteps? 1366 00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:19,739 Well, I don't think I'd do too well in court. 1367 00:59:19,772 --> 00:59:21,975 [WHISPERS] Neither would I. 1368 00:59:22,008 --> 00:59:24,210 [BOTH LAUGH] 1369 00:59:24,243 --> 00:59:26,212 I didn't. Yeah, I know. 1370 00:59:26,245 --> 00:59:27,781 You've made some mistakes. 1371 00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:29,182 Just a couple. Yeah. 1372 00:59:29,215 --> 00:59:32,452 You know, for me, telemarketing is just a job. 1373 00:59:32,485 --> 00:59:34,220 I'm good at it, so... 1374 00:59:34,253 --> 00:59:36,489 Law school didn't work out, and now here I am. 1375 00:59:36,522 --> 00:59:39,025 You know, look, man, I... I get it. 1376 00:59:39,058 --> 00:59:41,060 You got a job to do here. 1377 00:59:41,093 --> 00:59:42,962 So I'm willing to bet 1378 00:59:42,995 --> 00:59:48,034 that we can overlook all of your past transgressions, 1379 00:59:48,067 --> 00:59:49,769 all the felonies, 1380 00:59:49,802 --> 00:59:50,503 the-- The-- The murders, 1381 00:59:50,536 --> 00:59:53,473 the rapes, probably, I'm assuming, 1382 00:59:53,506 --> 00:59:55,074 the kidnaps, things like that. 1383 00:59:55,107 --> 00:59:56,109 You know what I'm saying? 1384 00:59:56,142 --> 00:59:57,877 I don't know anything about that. 1385 00:59:57,910 --> 00:59:58,478 Yeah, me either. 1386 00:59:58,511 --> 00:59:59,979 Hell, you can be an ax murderer. Heh. 1387 01:00:00,012 --> 01:00:02,448 As long as you can sell, you're hired. 1388 01:00:02,481 --> 01:00:04,450 Shit, I'll help you hide the ax. 1389 01:00:04,483 --> 01:00:05,451 What ax? 1390 01:00:05,484 --> 01:00:08,888 [LAUGHS] I know. I ain't seen shit. 1391 01:00:08,921 --> 01:00:11,121 You are good. 1392 01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:12,792 And I'm no salesman. 1393 01:00:12,825 --> 01:00:17,027 You sure ain't the maintenance, but you could've fooled me. 1394 01:00:17,196 --> 01:00:18,965 I hate telemarketers. 1395 01:00:18,998 --> 01:00:21,201 I want to kill telemarketers. Is that right? 1396 01:00:21,234 --> 01:00:25,071 If I was a telemarketer, I'd have to kill myself. 1397 01:00:25,104 --> 01:00:27,807 Makes perfect sense. I don't wanna kill myself. 1398 01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:29,342 Yeah. Not yet. 1399 01:00:29,375 --> 01:00:30,109 [LAUGHS] 1400 01:00:30,142 --> 01:00:31,544 When the time comes. Yeah. 1401 01:00:31,577 --> 01:00:34,113 You'll be ready. Yeah. 1402 01:00:34,146 --> 01:00:34,914 Yeah. 1403 01:00:34,947 --> 01:00:37,248 [BLUE GRASS MUSIC CONTINUES] 1404 01:00:40,386 --> 01:00:43,387 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1405 01:00:44,190 --> 01:00:46,292 KASEY: I was this close to becoming 1406 01:00:46,325 --> 01:00:48,027 top salesman of the month tonight. 1407 01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:51,264 This close. And I was gonna take my girl out and celebrate, 1408 01:00:51,297 --> 01:00:55,068 and pretend to like salmon as much as I like steak, 1409 01:00:55,101 --> 01:00:58,071 and she would call me out because she's the only one 1410 01:00:58,104 --> 01:01:01,005 that can see through my bullshit. 1411 01:01:01,207 --> 01:01:06,079 Then we'd laugh, and then I'd propose. 1412 01:01:06,112 --> 01:01:07,313 Aw. 1413 01:01:07,346 --> 01:01:09,380 Does she know? 1414 01:01:09,482 --> 01:01:11,317 Kasey, if you just told my dad the truth, 1415 01:01:11,350 --> 01:01:13,887 he would've bought the stupid triple play. 1416 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,923 He's a romantic at heart. 1417 01:01:16,956 --> 01:01:19,089 [HUMMING] 1418 01:01:22,228 --> 01:01:25,131 He would've understood. She would've gotten that ring, 1419 01:01:25,164 --> 01:01:26,566 you would've gotten that bonus, 1420 01:01:26,599 --> 01:01:28,534 and dad would've canceled after a month, 1421 01:01:28,567 --> 01:01:31,001 so everybody would've won. 1422 01:01:32,238 --> 01:01:34,672 Woulda, shoulda, coulda. 1423 01:01:35,107 --> 01:01:36,476 You got a picture of that lady? 1424 01:01:36,509 --> 01:01:40,413 Uh, yeah, actually on my phone. 1425 01:01:40,446 --> 01:01:42,148 Of course. Yeah. 1426 01:01:42,181 --> 01:01:45,151 You better do that. Be careful, now. 1427 01:01:45,184 --> 01:01:48,855 One look at her, premature ejaculation. 1428 01:01:48,888 --> 01:01:50,290 It happens to me all the time. 1429 01:01:50,323 --> 01:01:51,858 Let's put it to the test. 1430 01:01:51,891 --> 01:01:54,427 Oh, Kasey. Yeah. 1431 01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:56,029 She's a hottie. 1432 01:01:56,062 --> 01:01:56,930 Yes, sir. Heh. 1433 01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,498 You need a towel? [BOTH LAUGH] 1434 01:01:58,531 --> 01:02:00,366 Yeah, in a couple minutes. 1435 01:02:00,399 --> 01:02:01,868 Wow! 1436 01:02:01,901 --> 01:02:03,369 You love her? 1437 01:02:03,402 --> 01:02:05,104 More than anything. 1438 01:02:05,137 --> 01:02:05,939 You know what? 1439 01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:11,544 I'm gonna show this to my dad, and talk to him about this. 1440 01:02:11,577 --> 01:02:12,879 You serious? 1441 01:02:12,912 --> 01:02:14,147 Yeah, he loved my mom. 1442 01:02:14,180 --> 01:02:15,515 He might understand this. 1443 01:02:15,548 --> 01:02:17,517 Fuck, man, that'd be great. Your little love story. 1444 01:02:17,550 --> 01:02:20,219 Oh, man, this'll be-- Oh, come on. This is great. 1445 01:02:20,252 --> 01:02:22,386 Yeah. Great, yeah. 1446 01:02:23,055 --> 01:02:24,490 Just gotta promise me one thing. 1447 01:02:24,523 --> 01:02:26,292 Don't try and escape. 1448 01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:28,058 Really? 1449 01:02:28,694 --> 01:02:29,462 How about this. 1450 01:02:29,495 --> 01:02:31,998 There's a headset, right over there. 1451 01:02:32,031 --> 01:02:34,267 You grab that, I'll still make calls. 1452 01:02:34,300 --> 01:02:36,102 You can listen the whole time. 1453 01:02:36,135 --> 01:02:37,470 This one? That right there. 1454 01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:38,671 That's the only one there, 1455 01:02:38,704 --> 01:02:40,273 so it had to be that one. 1456 01:02:40,306 --> 01:02:41,541 [EXHALES] 1457 01:02:41,574 --> 01:02:42,375 Oh, my God. 1458 01:02:42,408 --> 01:02:45,111 Oh, my God, when did Superman become a telemarketer? 1459 01:02:45,144 --> 01:02:46,145 Damn it, you look natural. 1460 01:02:46,178 --> 01:02:48,114 [LAUGHS] Well, you look good. 1461 01:02:48,147 --> 01:02:49,349 All right. This is your desk here. 1462 01:02:49,382 --> 01:02:52,018 I'm gonna go talk to my dad. Talk to your daddy. 1463 01:02:52,051 --> 01:02:53,353 Talk to that motherfucker. 1464 01:02:53,386 --> 01:02:56,923 Fuck being a telemarketer, you're about to be a model, huh? 1465 01:02:56,956 --> 01:02:58,091 [LAUGHS] 1466 01:02:58,124 --> 01:02:59,690 Pops. 1467 01:03:00,226 --> 01:03:01,294 Check this out. 1468 01:03:01,327 --> 01:03:02,261 That's his girlfriend. 1469 01:03:02,294 --> 01:03:04,230 What are you doing with his goddamn phone? 1470 01:03:04,263 --> 01:03:07,164 DEAN: He gave it to me. 1471 01:03:09,602 --> 01:03:12,005 Ha-ha. Looking all good. 1472 01:03:12,038 --> 01:03:15,041 I don't know who I like more, my girl or you, 1473 01:03:15,074 --> 01:03:17,508 you pretty motherfucker. 1474 01:03:17,643 --> 01:03:21,712 Blue eyes, looking all colonizer and shit. 1475 01:03:22,281 --> 01:03:23,349 Oh, shit. 1476 01:03:23,382 --> 01:03:26,383 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1477 01:03:27,353 --> 01:03:29,386 Yeah, there's more. 1478 01:03:30,122 --> 01:03:31,691 Hold on. 1479 01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:33,059 Hey! Yeah? 1480 01:03:33,092 --> 01:03:34,160 Keep dialing! Yeah! Yeah! 1481 01:03:34,193 --> 01:03:35,962 Work the phones, Kasey! Gotcha! 1482 01:03:35,995 --> 01:03:39,599 Ha-ha, just out here trying to save my life, man. 1483 01:03:39,632 --> 01:03:40,733 Y'all know how it is. 1484 01:03:40,766 --> 01:03:44,635 Ah, it's a Thursday for y'all, you know. 1485 01:03:45,204 --> 01:03:47,240 [DIALING] 1486 01:03:47,273 --> 01:03:48,741 [PHONE LINE RINGS] 1487 01:03:48,774 --> 01:03:52,045 MAN: Hello? Good evening, Mr. Wilson. 1488 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:53,279 Who is this? 1489 01:03:53,312 --> 01:03:55,648 Uh, sir, you don't know me, 1490 01:03:55,681 --> 01:03:59,419 but, uh, I work for TeleWin. 1491 01:03:59,452 --> 01:04:01,320 Are you a telemarketer? 1492 01:04:01,353 --> 01:04:02,455 Yes, sir, I am. I am. 1493 01:04:02,488 --> 01:04:05,625 But, I know it's late, but please don't hang up. 1494 01:04:05,658 --> 01:04:09,495 Now first, I just want to say I'm sorry for my conduct 1495 01:04:09,528 --> 01:04:13,366 on behalf of all the telemarketers. 1496 01:04:13,399 --> 01:04:15,699 I might get a photo. 1497 01:04:16,602 --> 01:04:17,770 [CAMERA CLICKS] 1498 01:04:17,803 --> 01:04:18,704 Mr. Wilson? 1499 01:04:18,737 --> 01:04:20,440 Is this some kind of a joke? 1500 01:04:20,473 --> 01:04:22,442 No, sir, I assure you, this is no joke. 1501 01:04:22,475 --> 01:04:24,777 In fact, I'm not trying to sell you anything. 1502 01:04:24,810 --> 01:04:28,414 Get one with me in it. Okay, yeah, yeah. 1503 01:04:28,447 --> 01:04:29,248 [LAUGHS] 1504 01:04:29,281 --> 01:04:31,751 Sir, I've been a shit person, okay? 1505 01:04:31,784 --> 01:04:37,256 Now, I ask that you please accept my apology. 1506 01:04:37,289 --> 01:04:37,757 Please. 1507 01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:39,092 I swear, if I ever dropped a fake 20 1508 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:43,062 on a lap dance with her, you have permission to shoot me. 1509 01:04:43,095 --> 01:04:43,563 What? 1510 01:04:43,596 --> 01:04:46,566 You shouldn't be dropping fake 20s on no one. 1511 01:04:46,599 --> 01:04:47,767 You gotta be shitting me. 1512 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,703 No, sir, I'm not shitting you, I'm not. 1513 01:04:50,736 --> 01:04:52,836 You're not shitting me. 1514 01:04:53,339 --> 01:04:54,207 Okay, I guess. 1515 01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:58,311 Okay? I'm so sorry, sir. Can you please repeat that? 1516 01:04:58,344 --> 01:05:00,179 Deaf? I just said okay. 1517 01:05:00,212 --> 01:05:03,116 Yes! Yes, you hear that? 1518 01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:05,418 He said okay! He said okay! 1519 01:05:05,451 --> 01:05:06,619 Fuck, yes, sir. Thank you. 1520 01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:08,688 What the hell is going on here? 1521 01:05:08,721 --> 01:05:10,089 God bless you, sir. God bless you. 1522 01:05:10,122 --> 01:05:11,824 God bless your kids, God bless your grandkids. 1523 01:05:11,857 --> 01:05:15,661 Even if they have fucking weird names like Sunflower and Woody, 1524 01:05:15,694 --> 01:05:20,133 or some bullshit like that. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 1525 01:05:20,166 --> 01:05:23,233 Suck my dick! 1526 01:05:23,869 --> 01:05:26,770 They don't call me the king for nothing. 1527 01:05:27,473 --> 01:05:28,741 What? "What?" 1528 01:05:28,774 --> 01:05:30,710 "What? What?" The fuck you mean what? 1529 01:05:30,743 --> 01:05:32,612 [STAMMERING] You were listening. 1530 01:05:32,645 --> 01:05:34,514 I didn't hear anything. 1531 01:05:34,547 --> 01:05:35,748 [STAMMERING] On the fucking-- 1532 01:05:35,781 --> 01:05:38,718 I gave you the headset! I didn't hear a damn thing! 1533 01:05:38,751 --> 01:05:40,453 You calling me a liar? No-- 1534 01:05:40,486 --> 01:05:42,788 Well... fuck it, give it to me. 1535 01:05:42,821 --> 01:05:45,622 What do you mean you didn't hear it? 1536 01:05:48,861 --> 01:05:51,197 You didn't turn it on, man. 1537 01:05:51,230 --> 01:05:53,530 I fucking had it. 1538 01:05:54,533 --> 01:05:58,571 I fucking had it, man! I fucking had it! 1539 01:05:58,604 --> 01:05:59,672 Well... 1540 01:05:59,705 --> 01:06:02,475 I mean, if an apology's made in the forest 1541 01:06:02,508 --> 01:06:05,478 and there's no one there to hear it, then... 1542 01:06:05,511 --> 01:06:06,779 We're not in the forest, Pops. 1543 01:06:06,812 --> 01:06:11,448 I'll explain it to you later, son. 1544 01:06:11,817 --> 01:06:14,518 Go on, do another. 1545 01:06:15,621 --> 01:06:19,690 Oh, now, don't tell me you's a quitter. 1546 01:06:19,825 --> 01:06:25,295 Where's that relentless bravado, that mighty perseverance? 1547 01:06:25,664 --> 01:06:27,133 I have no idea, man. 1548 01:06:27,166 --> 01:06:28,634 Out to lunch. 1549 01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:30,601 Fucking gone. 1550 01:06:33,372 --> 01:06:34,540 Come on, now. 1551 01:06:34,573 --> 01:06:38,008 Fuck. Dean likes you. 1552 01:06:38,444 --> 01:06:39,812 I want you to make a good impression. 1553 01:06:39,845 --> 01:06:43,683 Now, go on, give it another go. 1554 01:06:43,716 --> 01:06:45,782 [DOOR OPENS] 1555 01:06:46,518 --> 01:06:49,689 BARRY: I'm gonna be paying for that stripper's dry cleaning. 1556 01:06:49,722 --> 01:06:51,457 CHRISTINE: And the $150 room bill, 1557 01:06:51,490 --> 01:06:55,592 but you know, happens to the best of us. 1558 01:06:56,428 --> 01:06:57,496 What the hell, Kasey? 1559 01:06:57,529 --> 01:06:59,966 What in the H-E-double hockey sticks 1560 01:06:59,999 --> 01:07:02,235 are you still doing here, buddy? 1561 01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:03,202 Barry, Christine. 1562 01:07:03,235 --> 01:07:07,440 It's so good to see you both. Uh, what's up? 1563 01:07:07,473 --> 01:07:08,741 What's up is, 1564 01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:10,576 I met this sweet little... 1565 01:07:10,609 --> 01:07:12,945 [WHISPERS] ...tenderoni outside. 1566 01:07:12,978 --> 01:07:14,180 [LAUGHS] 1567 01:07:14,213 --> 01:07:15,948 At the strip club? Yeah. 1568 01:07:15,981 --> 01:07:17,350 No! 1569 01:07:17,383 --> 01:07:18,251 Outside. 1570 01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:20,653 You bailed on dinner and then you didn't text me. 1571 01:07:20,686 --> 01:07:21,787 I mean, it's not like you. 1572 01:07:21,820 --> 01:07:24,624 Oh, you know, I've just kind of been tied up. 1573 01:07:24,657 --> 01:07:27,460 Oh, well, I would say you left her hanging 1574 01:07:27,493 --> 01:07:30,429 like an iguana in the Sahara Desert. 1575 01:07:30,462 --> 01:07:31,197 No. 1576 01:07:31,230 --> 01:07:35,201 Okay, well, you're not dead or cheating. 1577 01:07:35,234 --> 01:07:37,868 So, what's up? 1578 01:07:39,271 --> 01:07:40,706 Barry, man, what are you doing here? 1579 01:07:40,739 --> 01:07:44,508 You should-- You know, you should probably go. 1580 01:07:46,545 --> 01:07:47,546 I want you to have this. 1581 01:07:47,579 --> 01:07:49,415 [WHISPERS] Barry, come on, bro. 1582 01:07:49,448 --> 01:07:51,217 Barry... No, no, listen. 1583 01:07:51,250 --> 01:07:53,686 It's only right, okay? 1584 01:07:53,719 --> 01:07:54,987 I came all the way here, 1585 01:07:55,020 --> 01:07:59,022 and I was gonna put a nice little sticky note on it. 1586 01:08:00,259 --> 01:08:00,926 But here you are. 1587 01:08:00,959 --> 01:08:05,264 So, I mean, I guess the surprise factor is kind of kaput. 1588 01:08:05,297 --> 01:08:06,232 Yeah, I guess you can say 1589 01:08:06,265 --> 01:08:08,467 I'm done with surprises for tonight. 1590 01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,236 Aren't we all? KASEY: Look, babe, I messed up. 1591 01:08:10,269 --> 01:08:12,438 I came to work today, I was gonna catch up on some sales, 1592 01:08:12,471 --> 01:08:16,442 you know, and then I guess I got caught up, I messed up. 1593 01:08:16,475 --> 01:08:18,642 As usual. 1594 01:08:18,911 --> 01:08:20,813 Baby, you should go. 1595 01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:22,248 You know, I don't-- 1596 01:08:22,281 --> 01:08:23,349 This ain't for me anymore. 1597 01:08:23,382 --> 01:08:24,817 I'm an asshole, so-- No. 1598 01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:25,718 You're not an asshole. 1599 01:08:25,751 --> 01:08:27,286 Yes, you treat everything in your life 1600 01:08:27,319 --> 01:08:30,323 like it's a sale to be made, which is fucking annoying. 1601 01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,391 But you always call, okay? 1602 01:08:32,424 --> 01:08:36,093 That's what I love about you. You always call. 1603 01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:51,377 Okay, um, we're gonna go. 1604 01:08:51,410 --> 01:08:53,577 KASEY: Yeah. Yeah. 1605 01:08:54,313 --> 01:08:54,814 No. 1606 01:08:54,847 --> 01:08:56,215 Yeah, Barry, let's go. Wait, no. 1607 01:08:56,248 --> 01:08:57,516 I want to leave this for the guru. 1608 01:08:57,549 --> 01:09:00,019 Barry, we need to go. We need to go-- Barry! 1609 01:09:00,052 --> 01:09:03,756 Hey! Hey, don't you fucking touch her, man! 1610 01:09:03,789 --> 01:09:06,590 Oh, my God! Hey! 1611 01:09:06,759 --> 01:09:10,563 Asa. Hey, hey. This is going way too far, man. 1612 01:09:10,596 --> 01:09:12,965 Oh, says the man who spews bullshit all day 1613 01:09:12,998 --> 01:09:14,066 to innocent people. 1614 01:09:14,099 --> 01:09:16,035 The man who pretends to be my dead friend 1615 01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:18,504 in order to sell a triple play. 1616 01:09:18,537 --> 01:09:19,405 Yeah, sure, Asa. 1617 01:09:19,438 --> 01:09:25,142 I, uh-- I pretended to be your dead friend to make a sale. 1618 01:09:25,511 --> 01:09:28,044 Have you never been lied to before? 1619 01:09:28,113 --> 01:09:29,315 Let me ask you something, Asa. 1620 01:09:29,348 --> 01:09:32,351 You remember watching TV commercials as a kid, right? 1621 01:09:32,384 --> 01:09:37,888 You don't think they lied to get you to buy the toy you wanted? 1622 01:09:38,090 --> 01:09:41,327 You get home and get your Rock'em Sock'em Robot 1623 01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:42,695 or whatever it is, fresh out the box. 1624 01:09:42,728 --> 01:09:45,598 And you look at it, and it don't quite look, 1625 01:09:45,631 --> 01:09:49,635 or feel, or work the way it does on TV. 1626 01:09:49,668 --> 01:09:52,071 I'm pretty sure you didn't go to Mattel headquarters 1627 01:09:52,104 --> 01:09:56,342 with a .44 and light up the customer service rep. 1628 01:09:56,375 --> 01:09:57,977 How about a little perspective here, Asa? 1629 01:09:58,010 --> 01:09:59,945 This is the free market at work, man! 1630 01:09:59,978 --> 01:10:02,648 This is what our country was founded on! 1631 01:10:02,681 --> 01:10:04,350 Damn it, this is America! 1632 01:10:04,383 --> 01:10:06,950 Sit the fuck down. 1633 01:10:07,119 --> 01:10:08,954 Um, just so I'm clear, 1634 01:10:08,987 --> 01:10:11,824 this is over some silly sales call? 1635 01:10:11,857 --> 01:10:13,657 Shut up. 1636 01:10:13,859 --> 01:10:16,362 A silly sales call? 1637 01:10:16,395 --> 01:10:18,531 I don't think so. 1638 01:10:18,564 --> 01:10:19,832 I think we have some idea, Asa. 1639 01:10:19,865 --> 01:10:21,901 Your wife used to get called by telemarketers, 1640 01:10:21,934 --> 01:10:27,037 and then you two would fight about it, and it made you mad. 1641 01:10:28,941 --> 01:10:32,876 My wife died because of it. 1642 01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:36,048 I told her... 1643 01:10:36,081 --> 01:10:37,650 "Don't ever talk and drive." 1644 01:10:37,683 --> 01:10:38,818 But she wouldn't listen. 1645 01:10:38,851 --> 01:10:44,521 And the last call she ever took was from one of you guys. 1646 01:10:45,023 --> 01:10:47,958 She lost control of the wheel... 1647 01:10:48,460 --> 01:10:51,661 when some asshole like you... 1648 01:10:52,764 --> 01:10:55,999 was selling her car insurance! 1649 01:10:57,035 --> 01:11:02,007 I asked the FDC to put me on the "do not call" list 1650 01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:03,843 out of respect for her memory. 1651 01:11:03,876 --> 01:11:06,610 Right, son? That's right. 1652 01:11:07,212 --> 01:11:10,180 You know, the head of the agency... 1653 01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:12,184 the woman appointed by the goddamn 1654 01:11:12,217 --> 01:11:16,786 president of the United States, she called me personally. 1655 01:11:16,855 --> 01:11:21,892 Personally, she swore to me, up and down, left and right. 1656 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,896 "They will never call you again. 1657 01:11:23,929 --> 01:11:26,532 Not once, not twice, not ever." 1658 01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:30,970 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1659 01:11:31,003 --> 01:11:32,638 Guess I should have known better. 1660 01:11:32,671 --> 01:11:35,541 Shouldn't have used that DNC list, asshole. 1661 01:11:35,574 --> 01:11:37,641 [BARRY GROANING] 1662 01:11:40,746 --> 01:11:42,279 Dang it. 1663 01:11:42,681 --> 01:11:43,782 Must've dozed off there. 1664 01:11:43,815 --> 01:11:47,284 Oh, my God, I never had to shit so bad! Oh! 1665 01:11:48,687 --> 01:11:50,253 [GASPS] 1666 01:11:50,589 --> 01:11:52,925 Wait. Did I miss something? 1667 01:11:52,958 --> 01:11:54,727 Yeah. Quite a lot. 1668 01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:56,095 Join our discussion. 1669 01:11:56,128 --> 01:11:58,662 What's going on? 1670 01:11:59,698 --> 01:12:01,634 You two work together, right? 1671 01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:02,701 Yeah. 1672 01:12:02,734 --> 01:12:04,734 You know why he's here? 1673 01:12:04,903 --> 01:12:08,841 I figured he stayed behind to try to make another call. 1674 01:12:08,874 --> 01:12:09,675 And if he made it, 1675 01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:13,310 he would report it to corporate claiming... 1676 01:12:14,546 --> 01:12:17,216 Claiming he won the $3000. 1677 01:12:17,249 --> 01:12:19,015 Bingo. 1678 01:12:19,084 --> 01:12:22,085 Must make your blood boil, right? 1679 01:12:23,088 --> 01:12:24,957 No. 1680 01:12:24,990 --> 01:12:26,058 ASA: No? 1681 01:12:26,091 --> 01:12:28,193 [CHUCKLES] No. 1682 01:12:28,226 --> 01:12:30,062 Actually... 1683 01:12:30,095 --> 01:12:31,263 I feel relieved. 1684 01:12:31,296 --> 01:12:32,831 I don't feel so bad about 1685 01:12:32,864 --> 01:12:36,666 switching his call sheet with Justin's. 1686 01:12:38,070 --> 01:12:39,672 You did what? 1687 01:12:39,705 --> 01:12:40,673 Uh-oh. 1688 01:12:40,706 --> 01:12:41,707 Hold on. Hold on. 1689 01:12:41,740 --> 01:12:43,108 So let me get this straight. 1690 01:12:43,141 --> 01:12:46,912 You cheat, and then all this happens? 1691 01:12:46,945 --> 01:12:49,748 You have no fucking idea what I've been through today! 1692 01:12:49,781 --> 01:12:51,784 Law of the land. Remember? 1693 01:12:51,817 --> 01:12:54,687 All I did was just level the playing field. 1694 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,854 And you have no position 1695 01:12:55,887 --> 01:12:58,223 to be calling anybody in here unethical 1696 01:12:58,256 --> 01:13:00,593 when you're the one who got kicked out 1697 01:13:00,626 --> 01:13:01,894 of USC's law school for cheating. 1698 01:13:01,927 --> 01:13:05,030 My God, I wanted to say that all day. 1699 01:13:05,063 --> 01:13:06,930 Oh, my God. 1700 01:13:07,799 --> 01:13:09,733 Say it isn't so. 1701 01:13:09,935 --> 01:13:11,904 I mean, he's drunk. 1702 01:13:11,937 --> 01:13:12,871 I know all about it, okay? 1703 01:13:12,904 --> 01:13:15,140 Your assistant dean, she told me about it. 1704 01:13:15,173 --> 01:13:16,842 We're in the same church choir. 1705 01:13:16,875 --> 01:13:18,744 And the church says amen. 1706 01:13:18,777 --> 01:13:20,646 You told me you dropped out. 1707 01:13:20,679 --> 01:13:22,581 Baby, I'm-- Thank you. 1708 01:13:22,614 --> 01:13:24,781 Thank you very much, Barry. 1709 01:13:25,050 --> 01:13:28,818 Kasey, your buddy just sold you out. 1710 01:13:29,321 --> 01:13:30,723 Hey, Pops. Yeah, son? 1711 01:13:30,756 --> 01:13:34,159 What was it you were telling me earlier about deterrence? 1712 01:13:34,192 --> 01:13:35,861 Deterrence theory. 1713 01:13:35,894 --> 01:13:37,961 Deterrence theory, yeah. 1714 01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:40,933 Barry, I learned something today. 1715 01:13:40,966 --> 01:13:44,970 The use of extreme actions to prevent the reoccurrence 1716 01:13:45,003 --> 01:13:47,573 of a specific action. Spot on, son. 1717 01:13:47,606 --> 01:13:49,842 Yeah. Kasey, do you know the one thing 1718 01:13:49,875 --> 01:13:53,109 I detest more than telemarketers? 1719 01:13:54,312 --> 01:13:55,614 A snitch? 1720 01:13:55,647 --> 01:13:57,747 Gold star for you. 1721 01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:00,252 [GUNSHOT] Aah! 1722 01:14:00,285 --> 01:14:00,886 Fuck me! 1723 01:14:00,919 --> 01:14:03,856 What the fuck, man! [SCREAMING] 1724 01:14:03,889 --> 01:14:05,858 [SOBBING] Oh, my God! 1725 01:14:05,891 --> 01:14:08,794 You know, that's a-- That's a clean hole. 1726 01:14:08,827 --> 01:14:10,029 [GROANING] 1727 01:14:10,062 --> 01:14:13,832 Would you go clean that up for us? 1728 01:14:13,865 --> 01:14:14,900 Me? 1729 01:14:14,933 --> 01:14:16,035 Yes, please. 1730 01:14:16,068 --> 01:14:17,102 DEAN: Go on. 1731 01:14:17,135 --> 01:14:19,703 Go on. ASA: Clean it up. 1732 01:14:22,307 --> 01:14:23,776 You got the-- Grab the... 1733 01:14:23,809 --> 01:14:26,876 Yeah, yeah, get the-- [BARRY SCREAMS] 1734 01:14:30,682 --> 01:14:33,018 How long do you think he's got? I don't know. 1735 01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:36,755 I mean, I'm trying to be a psychologist, not a doctor. 1736 01:14:36,788 --> 01:14:38,924 Put your hands on it. Yeah. 1737 01:14:38,957 --> 01:14:40,259 Isn't this perfect? 1738 01:14:40,292 --> 01:14:42,895 Now, his life is in your hands. 1739 01:14:42,928 --> 01:14:47,266 Okay, look, just let Barry and Christine go, okay? 1740 01:14:47,299 --> 01:14:49,101 I'll come with you. Lock me in your basement. 1741 01:14:49,134 --> 01:14:51,203 Give me your phone, I'll make as many calls as you want, 1742 01:14:51,236 --> 01:14:54,907 I'll apologize to as many people as you want the rest of my life. 1743 01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:57,142 Now, that'd be going too far. 1744 01:14:57,175 --> 01:15:00,746 I mean, plus the train set's down there, 1745 01:15:00,779 --> 01:15:03,015 and Dean's man cave. Yeah. 1746 01:15:03,048 --> 01:15:06,118 All we need is one apology accepted. 1747 01:15:06,151 --> 01:15:08,420 Here, now, for all to hear. 1748 01:15:08,453 --> 01:15:09,922 Now, come on. 1749 01:15:09,955 --> 01:15:12,858 Go on, just get your "do not call" list, 1750 01:15:12,891 --> 01:15:18,931 and you best get to dialing before you all get clocked out. 1751 01:15:18,964 --> 01:15:20,265 KASEY: Okay. 1752 01:15:20,298 --> 01:15:22,234 Seeing as how this could potentially be 1753 01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,901 my very last call... 1754 01:15:25,103 --> 01:15:27,339 I'm gonna need a cup of coffee. 1755 01:15:27,372 --> 01:15:28,240 No. 1756 01:15:28,273 --> 01:15:29,174 KASEY: Hey, now. 1757 01:15:29,207 --> 01:15:32,311 It's my pre-last call ritual, you know. 1758 01:15:32,344 --> 01:15:34,680 Every time I make my final call, 1759 01:15:34,713 --> 01:15:37,015 I need to have one cup of coffee 1760 01:15:37,048 --> 01:15:41,353 from my signature toilet bowl mug. 1761 01:15:41,386 --> 01:15:42,855 Ain't that right, rookie? 1762 01:15:42,888 --> 01:15:45,691 Yeah, yeah, yeah, as long as I've been here. 1763 01:15:45,724 --> 01:15:47,292 DEAN: Oh, Christ. Stop. 1764 01:15:47,325 --> 01:15:50,827 ASA: Jesus Christ. KASEY: Yeah. 1765 01:15:50,896 --> 01:15:53,463 ASA: You get the fucking coffee. 1766 01:15:53,865 --> 01:15:57,336 You don't strike me as someone who'd drink out of the toilet. 1767 01:15:57,369 --> 01:15:58,036 [LAUGHS] 1768 01:15:58,069 --> 01:15:59,972 Well, I mean, he's full of shit, so... 1769 01:16:00,005 --> 01:16:03,776 You know, I-- I tried it once, sold a triple play, 1770 01:16:03,809 --> 01:16:05,444 so I'm not one to argue with success. 1771 01:16:05,477 --> 01:16:07,479 All right, here's your goddamn coffee. 1772 01:16:07,512 --> 01:16:11,047 Go ahead, take your ritualistic sip. 1773 01:16:12,450 --> 01:16:16,989 This here is your last call. 1774 01:16:17,022 --> 01:16:18,757 This doesn't work, 1775 01:16:18,790 --> 01:16:22,125 you're going on a boat ride with me and Dean. 1776 01:16:23,428 --> 01:16:25,528 Dial. 1777 01:16:27,499 --> 01:16:29,465 [DIALING] 1778 01:16:35,140 --> 01:16:37,974 [PHONE LINE RINGS] 1779 01:16:42,347 --> 01:16:44,447 MAN: Yes? 1780 01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:47,283 Hello, sir, it's Kasey. 1781 01:16:48,420 --> 01:16:49,788 Yes, Kasey? 1782 01:16:49,821 --> 01:16:53,389 It's late, I'm surprised you're still up. 1783 01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:55,260 Just reading some motions. 1784 01:16:55,293 --> 01:16:57,560 Yeah, of course you are. 1785 01:16:58,797 --> 01:17:01,064 Did you need something? 1786 01:17:02,467 --> 01:17:04,567 Yeah, I was just, um... 1787 01:17:05,337 --> 01:17:07,570 You know, I've been, uh... 1788 01:17:07,906 --> 01:17:11,407 just been meaning to talk to you, you know. 1789 01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:14,012 I already got Internet, thank you. 1790 01:17:14,045 --> 01:17:15,814 Okay, yeah, I guess I deserve that. 1791 01:17:15,847 --> 01:17:17,549 Um, but no, I, um... 1792 01:17:17,582 --> 01:17:21,284 there's something I've been meaning to speak with you about. 1793 01:17:22,153 --> 01:17:23,956 Got cable and phone too. 1794 01:17:23,989 --> 01:17:24,957 I'm not... 1795 01:17:24,990 --> 01:17:26,992 Look, sir, I'm not selling. 1796 01:17:27,025 --> 01:17:28,927 Didn't know that was possible. 1797 01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,563 Sir, please, I just... 1798 01:17:31,596 --> 01:17:34,530 I just wanted to apologize. 1799 01:17:34,866 --> 01:17:37,302 I didn't know that was possible either. 1800 01:17:37,335 --> 01:17:39,068 Come on. 1801 01:17:39,537 --> 01:17:41,273 Go on, I'm listening. 1802 01:17:41,306 --> 01:17:43,940 I just wanted to say... 1803 01:17:46,177 --> 01:17:48,278 I'm sorry. 1804 01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:52,482 I'm sorry for this dirty business I'm in. 1805 01:17:52,550 --> 01:17:56,252 And the pain it must cause people. 1806 01:17:56,988 --> 01:17:59,355 And that includes you. 1807 01:17:59,524 --> 01:18:01,360 I guess when you think about it, I just... 1808 01:18:01,393 --> 01:18:05,130 was never really good at anything, you know? 1809 01:18:05,163 --> 01:18:09,532 Sports, school, none of it. 1810 01:18:11,202 --> 01:18:13,303 But here, I'm good. 1811 01:18:13,505 --> 01:18:15,939 I'm real good, you know? 1812 01:18:16,174 --> 01:18:17,075 I can do what I want. 1813 01:18:17,108 --> 01:18:21,411 I can come and go as I please, and nobody calls me out on it. 1814 01:18:21,613 --> 01:18:24,314 I mean, almost no one. 1815 01:18:24,449 --> 01:18:27,352 Compared to law school, this place is amazing. 1816 01:18:27,385 --> 01:18:28,420 You see, in class... 1817 01:18:28,453 --> 01:18:32,224 In class I would just lie and cheat my way through everything. 1818 01:18:32,257 --> 01:18:34,092 And it worked for a little while, 1819 01:18:34,125 --> 01:18:36,962 but then you get kicked out. 1820 01:18:36,995 --> 01:18:38,130 [LAUGHS] 1821 01:18:38,163 --> 01:18:41,230 And then you end up here. 1822 01:18:42,434 --> 01:18:47,170 You see, here I can meet people. 1823 01:18:47,672 --> 01:18:49,639 I get to know 'em. 1824 01:18:50,041 --> 01:18:53,011 And right when I got 'em where I want 'em, I sell 'em. 1825 01:18:53,044 --> 01:18:55,280 And I sell 'em, and I sell 'em, 1826 01:18:55,313 --> 01:18:56,481 and I sell 'em. 1827 01:18:56,514 --> 01:18:58,050 The bullshit works. 1828 01:18:58,083 --> 01:18:58,917 It works here. 1829 01:18:58,950 --> 01:19:00,485 In fact, they encourage it, you know? 1830 01:19:00,518 --> 01:19:02,187 So much so that corporate, you know, 1831 01:19:02,220 --> 01:19:04,990 corporate is starting to call it the Kasey Method. 1832 01:19:05,023 --> 01:19:05,891 Can you believe that? 1833 01:19:05,924 --> 01:19:10,128 They named something after me, the Kasey Method. 1834 01:19:10,161 --> 01:19:11,964 I lie and I cheat people, 1835 01:19:11,997 --> 01:19:14,731 and they pat me on the back for it. 1836 01:19:15,300 --> 01:19:18,167 I don't like me because of it. 1837 01:19:19,237 --> 01:19:21,473 And I know I'm not the man you want me to be. 1838 01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:25,675 I didn't go down the path you wanted me to go down. 1839 01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,582 For that, I'm sorry. 1840 01:19:30,615 --> 01:19:34,250 I truly am. I am very sorry. 1841 01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:39,389 So... 1842 01:19:40,392 --> 01:19:42,258 what do you say? 1843 01:19:43,361 --> 01:19:47,330 Do you accept my apology, Dad? 1844 01:19:50,535 --> 01:19:54,106 Oh, and there's somebody I would really like for you to meet. 1845 01:19:54,139 --> 01:19:57,342 So depending on your answer, I think we should all hang out. 1846 01:19:57,375 --> 01:20:00,777 I think you would really like her, you know? 1847 01:20:04,983 --> 01:20:10,486 You know, son, I'm really happy you called. 1848 01:20:11,523 --> 01:20:14,190 Of course I forgive you. 1849 01:20:22,667 --> 01:20:25,468 CHRISTINE: No! [GUNSHOTS] 1850 01:20:32,010 --> 01:20:34,110 [ALL GRUNTING] 1851 01:20:35,113 --> 01:20:37,280 [DEAN SCREAMS] 1852 01:20:42,220 --> 01:20:43,522 [SCREAMING] 1853 01:20:43,555 --> 01:20:44,589 KASEY: Baby, call 911. 1854 01:20:44,622 --> 01:20:46,525 Call 911, right now! DEAN: No! 1855 01:20:46,558 --> 01:20:49,261 No! No, I'm not going back to jail! 1856 01:20:49,294 --> 01:20:52,628 ASA: Shut up, you goddamn... 1857 01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,734 Thanks for the mug, rookie. 1858 01:20:55,767 --> 01:20:57,533 I try. 1859 01:20:57,669 --> 01:20:59,204 Now, since we're in apologies mode, 1860 01:20:59,237 --> 01:21:02,507 I'm sorry there's a hole in your leg right now. 1861 01:21:02,540 --> 01:21:03,642 [GROANING] 1862 01:21:03,675 --> 01:21:07,210 It's not your fault, it's his. 1863 01:21:07,579 --> 01:21:09,448 Oh, no, please, I'm sorry. 1864 01:21:09,481 --> 01:21:10,782 I'm sorry! 1865 01:21:10,815 --> 01:21:14,250 [GUNSHOT] Oh, shit! 1866 01:21:14,552 --> 01:21:16,652 Apology accepted. 1867 01:21:18,089 --> 01:21:19,257 Baby, I'm sorry I'm an asshole. 1868 01:21:19,290 --> 01:21:21,059 I'm sorry I stood you up, you know? 1869 01:21:21,092 --> 01:21:23,562 I'm sorry for all those things. Baby, we can do this later. 1870 01:21:23,595 --> 01:21:26,331 Apologies all around. Everybody gets an apology. 1871 01:21:26,364 --> 01:21:28,333 ASA: Yeah, I too am sorry for not shooting you 1872 01:21:28,366 --> 01:21:33,736 in the goddamn head when I first laid eyes on you. 1873 01:21:37,775 --> 01:21:38,977 Hold this. 1874 01:21:39,010 --> 01:21:42,347 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1875 01:21:42,380 --> 01:21:43,846 Asa. 1876 01:21:44,115 --> 01:21:45,617 I know you got a raw deal, man. 1877 01:21:45,650 --> 01:21:48,086 Losing the love of your life, 1878 01:21:48,119 --> 01:21:51,156 and how that must be affecting you and Dean. 1879 01:21:51,189 --> 01:21:55,827 I'm not gonna pretend to imagine what that must feel like. 1880 01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,362 And if I could go back in time, 1881 01:21:57,395 --> 01:21:59,831 I would really change your circumstance, man. 1882 01:21:59,864 --> 01:22:01,731 I really would. 1883 01:22:02,433 --> 01:22:03,702 I'm sad about your wife, Asa, 1884 01:22:03,735 --> 01:22:08,273 and the role this fucked-up telemarketing culture 1885 01:22:08,306 --> 01:22:10,206 played in it. 1886 01:22:10,475 --> 01:22:14,744 Damn it, Asa, I'm sorry, man. I really am. 1887 01:22:16,381 --> 01:22:18,281 Kasey Miller. 1888 01:22:18,449 --> 01:22:20,185 That's all I ever wanted from you... 1889 01:22:20,218 --> 01:22:27,290 was for you to take a good, deep, long look at yourself. 1890 01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:31,460 I know it wasn't easy. 1891 01:22:32,697 --> 01:22:34,664 I'm proud of you. 1892 01:22:35,366 --> 01:22:38,568 I'm gonna accept your apology. 1893 01:22:41,773 --> 01:22:43,875 It still wasn't on the phone though. 1894 01:22:43,908 --> 01:22:45,710 [DISTANT POLICE SIRENS APPROACHING] 1895 01:22:45,743 --> 01:22:47,312 You have got to be kidding me. 1896 01:22:47,345 --> 01:22:48,480 Come on, I'm dying over here. 1897 01:22:48,513 --> 01:22:49,848 Okay, let's get you taken care of. 1898 01:22:49,881 --> 01:22:51,516 Take this, I don't want this. 1899 01:22:51,549 --> 01:22:52,317 You sure? Yes. 1900 01:22:52,350 --> 01:22:53,685 Because I can kill them right now. 1901 01:22:53,718 --> 01:22:55,120 What? No! I'm just saying. 1902 01:22:55,153 --> 01:22:58,089 He's been talking so much shit all day. 1903 01:22:58,122 --> 01:23:00,656 [♪♪♪♪♪] 1904 01:23:12,170 --> 01:23:14,470 That's a pretty house. 1905 01:23:14,906 --> 01:23:17,240 CHRISTINE: Are you okay? 1906 01:23:18,343 --> 01:23:21,711 No, I'm good. I'm good. I just, um... 1907 01:23:22,347 --> 01:23:23,515 I just... 1908 01:23:23,548 --> 01:23:24,583 [CHUCKLES] 1909 01:23:24,616 --> 01:23:26,885 It doesn't feel right, you know? 1910 01:23:26,918 --> 01:23:28,386 Yeah, but you wanted to do this. 1911 01:23:28,419 --> 01:23:31,389 No, I do. I-- I do, I just, um... 1912 01:23:31,422 --> 01:23:35,391 [LAUGHS] I can't help but feel silly. 1913 01:23:35,827 --> 01:23:38,361 But you'll feel better. 1914 01:23:38,963 --> 01:23:41,633 And besides, silly is your middle name. 1915 01:23:41,666 --> 01:23:43,401 Silly is my middle name. 1916 01:23:43,434 --> 01:23:45,537 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 1917 01:23:45,570 --> 01:23:47,436 So wise. 1918 01:23:48,873 --> 01:23:51,007 Okay. Yeah. 1919 01:24:11,229 --> 01:24:13,298 [DOORBELL RINGS] 1920 01:24:13,331 --> 01:24:14,833 Mrs. Hanks! 1921 01:24:14,866 --> 01:24:16,701 Bring your ass outside! 1922 01:24:16,734 --> 01:24:20,672 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1923 01:24:20,705 --> 01:24:23,541 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 1924 01:24:23,574 --> 01:24:24,809 ♪ Like, like me no more ♪ 1925 01:24:24,842 --> 01:24:29,414 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1926 01:24:29,447 --> 01:24:30,749 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1927 01:24:30,782 --> 01:24:34,583 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1928 01:24:41,592 --> 01:24:42,727 ♪ Shining like a supernova ♪ 1929 01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:44,663 ♪ Brand-new coat Hanging on my shoulders ♪ 1930 01:24:44,696 --> 01:24:46,598 ♪ I got what you need I'm your main controller ♪ 1931 01:24:46,631 --> 01:24:48,800 ♪ So hop right in And don't take it slow ♪ 1932 01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:50,335 ♪ Get on up to my cloud ♪ 1933 01:24:50,368 --> 01:24:51,936 ♪ Ain't nobody here That's taking us down ♪ 1934 01:24:51,969 --> 01:24:54,239 ♪ Hit 'em with the rhythm Banging that sound ♪ 1935 01:24:54,272 --> 01:24:56,641 ♪ That's when we get 'em Hit the whole town ♪ 1936 01:24:56,674 --> 01:24:58,476 ♪ Got what you want ♪ 1937 01:24:58,509 --> 01:25:00,545 ♪ I got what you need ♪ 1938 01:25:00,578 --> 01:25:02,647 ♪ You bring the lock ♪ 1939 01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:04,582 ♪ I got the keys ♪ 1940 01:25:04,615 --> 01:25:06,484 ♪ Come turn me on ♪ 1941 01:25:06,517 --> 01:25:07,786 ♪ Can't get enough ♪ 1942 01:25:07,819 --> 01:25:09,954 ♪ Don't fit the box Don't fit the mold ♪ 1943 01:25:09,987 --> 01:25:12,791 ♪ 'Cause you know I just tear it up ♪ 1944 01:25:12,824 --> 01:25:16,561 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1945 01:25:16,594 --> 01:25:19,597 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 1946 01:25:19,630 --> 01:25:20,865 ♪ Like, like me no more ♪ 1947 01:25:20,898 --> 01:25:25,303 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1948 01:25:25,336 --> 01:25:26,738 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1949 01:25:26,771 --> 01:25:30,940 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1950 01:25:35,780 --> 01:25:38,814 ♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪ 1951 01:25:41,452 --> 01:25:42,854 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1952 01:25:42,887 --> 01:25:47,492 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1953 01:25:47,525 --> 01:25:48,893 ♪ I flow right through The door ♪ 1954 01:25:48,926 --> 01:25:50,495 ♪ Flow like a butterfly Was below ♪ 1955 01:25:50,528 --> 01:25:52,630 ♪ I say we roll on Right through the boulders ♪ 1956 01:25:52,663 --> 01:25:54,666 ♪ And play underneath All the stars above us ♪ 1957 01:25:54,699 --> 01:25:56,701 ♪ Contact, time to switch up The format ♪ 1958 01:25:56,734 --> 01:25:59,337 ♪ Got that Rather beat like a hi-hat ♪ 1959 01:25:59,370 --> 01:26:00,739 ♪ All original Classic material ♪ 1960 01:26:00,772 --> 01:26:02,540 ♪ Hands up Straight to the back ♪ 1961 01:26:02,573 --> 01:26:04,509 ♪ I got what you want ♪ 1962 01:26:04,542 --> 01:26:06,611 ♪ I got what you need ♪ 1963 01:26:06,644 --> 01:26:08,446 ♪ You bring the lock ♪ 1964 01:26:08,479 --> 01:26:10,582 ♪ I got the keys ♪ 1965 01:26:10,615 --> 01:26:12,584 ♪ Come turn me on ♪ 1966 01:26:12,617 --> 01:26:13,852 ♪ Can't get enough ♪ 1967 01:26:13,885 --> 01:26:16,054 ♪ Don't fit the box Don't fit the mold ♪ 1968 01:26:16,087 --> 01:26:18,790 ♪ 'Cause you know I just tear it up ♪ 1969 01:26:18,823 --> 01:26:22,660 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1970 01:26:22,693 --> 01:26:25,563 ♪ They don't make 'em Like me no more ♪ 1971 01:26:25,596 --> 01:26:26,831 ♪ Like, like me no more ♪ 1972 01:26:26,864 --> 01:26:31,403 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1973 01:26:31,436 --> 01:26:32,737 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1974 01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:37,039 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1975 01:26:41,546 --> 01:26:44,680 ♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪ 1976 01:26:47,485 --> 01:26:48,787 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1977 01:26:48,820 --> 01:26:51,423 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1978 01:26:51,456 --> 01:26:52,957 ♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪ 1979 01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:57,128 ♪ They don't, they don't They don't, they don't ♪ 1980 01:26:57,161 --> 01:26:59,597 ♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪ 1981 01:26:59,630 --> 01:27:01,433 ♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪ 1982 01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:03,568 ♪ They don't, they don't ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 1983 01:27:03,601 --> 01:27:05,603 ♪ They don't, they don't ♪ 1984 01:27:05,636 --> 01:27:07,038 ♪ Can't make 'em like me ♪ 1985 01:27:07,071 --> 01:27:10,873 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1986 01:27:13,644 --> 01:27:15,146 ♪ Don't make 'em like me ♪ 1987 01:27:15,179 --> 01:27:18,647 ♪ Don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1988 01:27:21,652 --> 01:27:22,887 ♪ I'm a different breed ♪ 1989 01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:26,655 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1990 01:27:31,429 --> 01:27:33,996 ♪ Don't make 'em like me ♪ 1991 01:27:37,068 --> 01:27:38,770 ♪ One thing I know for sure ♪ 1992 01:27:38,803 --> 01:27:41,506 ♪ They don't make 'em like me No more ♪ 1993 01:27:41,539 --> 01:27:44,540 ♪ Make 'em like me no more ♪