1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,593 [instrumental music playing] 2 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:14,891 I know the last few weeks have been crazy, 3 00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:19,479 but this right here, this is what's important. 4 00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:21,898 As long as we have each other's backs, 5 00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:25,193 can't nothing touch the Upshaws. 6 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,153 Come on, baby. Say that again. 7 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,864 'Cause you know I got your back, 8 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:33,117 -your top, your edges, your bottoms. -[doorbell rings] 9 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:35,745 [Bennie] You know what I mean? 10 00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,247 Is this where Bennie Upshaw lives? 11 00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:41,000 Um, who's asking? 12 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:41,918 His daughter. 13 00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:46,214 Nigga, really? 14 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:49,383 I was just about to start loving you. 15 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,677 All right, Bennie, your choice. 16 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:55,640 You can walk out of here on your own or rolled up in one of these cheap rugs. 17 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,017 Regina, tell King to heel. 18 00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,977 I can get a new rug. 19 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,480 Dang! Bye, Daddy. 20 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,524 Oh, no. This is some bullshit. 21 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,443 Little girl, who is your mother? 22 00:01:07,527 --> 00:01:09,529 That's your first question? 23 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:10,613 And it ain't yours? 24 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:15,368 We can't make this little girl out to be a lying ass ho. We need her momma for that. 25 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,329 Am I a ghetto twin too? 26 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,831 Hush, I'm trying to listen. 27 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:23,084 Y'all don't know when to leave a room? Get your ass upstairs. 28 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:24,877 Thanks, Maya. 29 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,004 -We never get to see anything good. -[siren blaring] 30 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,256 [vehicle approaching] 31 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,217 Cops? Uh-huh. It's worth the whoopin'. Sit down, y'all. 32 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,428 Damn, po-po's here. We haven't even killed him yet. 33 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,680 Somebody snitched. 34 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:37,640 Kelvin? 35 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,975 I swear I just texted my mom. 36 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,227 I gotta go. They on to me. 37 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,354 There you are. 38 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,148 Monique? 39 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:47,942 What are you doing here? Look, right now is not a good time. 40 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,319 Sydney, how are you just gonna run over here? 41 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:52,405 -But, Mommy-- -[all] Mommy? 42 00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,490 You knocked up Bernard's prom date? 43 00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:56,534 You sick bastard. 44 00:01:58,411 --> 00:01:59,787 This is your daughter? 45 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:00,788 Yes. 46 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,249 And also yours. 47 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,210 I have a daughter? 48 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,212 See, I told you! I was right. 49 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:13,467 I told you! Bennie Latrell Upshaw, you are not the father. 50 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,804 Yeah, I told you. I told you. I told the kids. I told you. 51 00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:18,973 I definitely told you and I told you. 52 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,392 I've been telling you our whole relationship. 53 00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:24,437 Hold on, boy, I thought you was gay? 54 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,648 [vocalizing] 55 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,317 ♪ Solid as a rock ♪ 56 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,985 [vocalizing] 57 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:34,030 ♪ Solid ♪ 58 00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:36,574 Monique, we spent over an hour at the reunion 59 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:41,078 arguing about the Brandy and Monica battle and you couldn't tell me I had a daughter? 60 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,707 It's a hard transition, bro. And who picks Brandy? 61 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,000 [scoffs] 62 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,793 How do you let her show up at my door? 63 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:51,088 Not even my door, my parents' door. And you almost got Bennie killed. 64 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,633 It wasn't supposed to go down like this. 65 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,928 After last night, I wrote in my journal about us 66 00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,013 and her little nosy ass read it. 67 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,474 Must have found your name online. 68 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,769 She's pretty smart. Just like her daddy. 69 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:05,728 Who's he? 70 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,939 Oh, right… 71 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,734 [sighs] Why didn't you tell me when it happened? 72 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:15,279 We were a thing and then we slept together and you ghosted me. 73 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,782 After your number became a Sherwin-Williams, 74 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,618 I got some paint for the baby's room and kept it moving. 75 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,329 You could have at least given me a choice. 76 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,581 Look, you didn't even know who you were. 77 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,084 I didn't want to put this on you. 78 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:32,296 I have so many questions. I don't even know what to ask first. 79 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,591 Ask her how she knows she's yours. 80 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,469 You gonna regret that. 81 00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:43,683 -Tell me about my daughter. -[Lucretia] We don't know that yet. 82 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,478 [instrumental music playing] 83 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,189 -I can't believe this shit. -[exhales sharply] You? 84 00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:54,944 I'm the one who can't believe this. In fact, I won't believe it. 85 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,445 You did it. 86 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:57,488 Did what? 87 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,950 -What are we talking about? -That shitty look you gave me. 88 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,868 [laughs sarcastically] 89 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:04,912 Ain't nobody got time for that. 90 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,874 Bernard is trying to make me a… [inhales] 91 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,252 …grandmother. 92 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,588 Shit. You better make time. 93 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,925 I've said sorry enough to know when I'm owed one. 94 00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:22,805 So you're seriously wondering why I looked at you? [scoffs] 95 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:26,517 -Yeah. -Yo bastard was sitting on my sofa. 96 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,561 Oh, watch your mouth. Okay? 97 00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,772 That bastard is my son. 98 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,734 His name is Kelvin, okay? 99 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:38,154 You wanna sit here and hurt my feelings about… 100 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,906 Let's talk about kids. Kid for kid. 101 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,908 Let's talk about Maya. 102 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,914 -That's your kid too! -I know. I just thought about that. 103 00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:55,713 So, you and your feelings… 104 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,882 'Cause they got hurt, but that's okay. 105 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,719 You know why? Because that's a scrape compared to what you've done to mine. 106 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,095 No, that ain't no scrape. 107 00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:04,764 And you want to bring up old stuff? 108 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:07,224 Let's talk about how you failed that GMAT. 109 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,477 Yeah! 110 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:13,105 Oh, that's the card you gonna play? That's what you want to do now? 111 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:16,359 -[grunts] Trumped you! -Oh, shit! 112 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,944 Yeah. It's getting old, Regina. I'm tired of it. 113 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,279 [exhales sharply] 114 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,990 Ain't nothing old in here. Mm-mmm. 115 00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:25,743 And especially not me. 116 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:29,330 That cannot be Bernard's kid. Mm-mmm. 117 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,749 'Cause I mean, look at me, huh? 118 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,418 I'm young as shit. 119 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:38,214 You got something you want to say, like, "I'm sorry"? 120 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,758 Here's what I want to say… This is all too much. 121 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,302 -Yeah, okay… -What I'm saying is I need a drink. 122 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:46,138 [inhales deeply] But alcohol, that ages you. 123 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,684 But wine has them retinols. But did they prove that? 124 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:51,644 [inhales sharply] 125 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,979 Oh, shit, is my memory going? 126 00:05:54,814 --> 00:05:56,399 When you're ready to apologize… 127 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,109 [grunts] You know where I'll be… 128 00:05:59,068 --> 00:05:59,985 Granny. 129 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,279 [door slams] 130 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,074 Oof! 131 00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:07,243 Girl, y'all are wearing me out. 132 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,788 I mean, it's a real tiny house until you need to eavesdrop. 133 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:14,750 Like I'm supposed to know that that little girl ain't his. 134 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,794 Right? I mean, we all thought it. 135 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,963 I mean, his bastard is sitting on your sofa. 136 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,257 Thank you. That's what I said. 137 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:24,218 How this fool gonna get mad at being accused of some shit 138 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:27,471 that he's actually done, but just not this time? 139 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,349 Ooh. 140 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,434 That's your man. 141 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,686 [instrumental music playing] 142 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:36,355 So, the cane lady is my mom's older sister. 143 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:39,024 She basically raised Bernard, that's why he's her favorite. 144 00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:42,361 But after all this, he probably will fall off and I could come up. 145 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,864 Ha! You funny. 146 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,866 You know I'm next in line. 147 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,702 The cane lady seems mean. 148 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,995 Trust your instincts. 149 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,582 Okay. So let me see if I got everything straight. 150 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,333 Well, your dad isn't. 151 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,836 That was in the journal. 152 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,753 Underlined. 153 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:04,341 So, old Bennie and the grumpy lady, that's your parents, 154 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,595 and he is your dad but you have a different mother, 155 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,847 but y'all the same age? [clicks tongue] 156 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,558 Well, when you put it like that, we sound like trash. 157 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,979 I'm still trying to figure out if Daddy lives with us again. 158 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,022 Maya. 159 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,398 He wasn't living here? 160 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:20,691 He's in the basement. 161 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,568 'Cause he stole our mom's money. 162 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:26,071 That's 'cause he gave my mom an illegal car, then she hit a white guy. 163 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,866 Dang, we are trash. 164 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,703 [sighs] Thank God I did decide to go to the reunion. 165 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,413 I might need a kidney one day. 166 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,041 She's a breech baby. Those kidneys are mine. 167 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,504 I was talking to your mom, but, um… 168 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,757 We'll get to know each other very well soon. 169 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,967 How's that sound, Syd, my kid? [chuckles] 170 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:47,968 It's Sydney. 171 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,553 I told you she wouldn't like that. 172 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:50,846 Won't happen again. 173 00:07:50,930 --> 00:07:52,181 All right, Sydney, let's go. 174 00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,350 Oh! Y'all leaving? 175 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,311 Yeah. Sorry for dropping in like this. 176 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,939 Better nine years late than never. [scoffs] 177 00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:01,899 Ma. 178 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,736 Bernard, it's been a long day for me, buddy. 179 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,155 I failed my test. 180 00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:10,407 I almost killed your father. 181 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,036 I'm day drinking and it ain't even noon. 182 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,498 Well, okay, bye. 183 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,793 Come on, Sydney. We need to talk about you and my journals. 184 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,128 I know. Your handwriting is atrocious. 185 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,214 Get your narrow behind in the car! 186 00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:27,591 [sighs] 187 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,052 Am I a ghetto aunty now? 188 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,346 Well, we definitely ghetto. 189 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,933 Don't lump me in with y'all. I'm a Turner. 190 00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:38,394 That's that Upshaw shit. 191 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:43,440 [instrumental music playing] 192 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:48,279 Don't give me a second chance. I said don't give me a second chance! 193 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,365 I think you gotta do that one again. That's not how we do it. 194 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,866 Why ain't nobody working? 195 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:55,578 Oh, hey, Bennie. Just catching up on some paperwork. 196 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,163 -Yeah. -Stop lying, K-Ci and JoJo. 197 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,626 I ain't got time for this shit today. 198 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:05,546 A little girl showed up at my door looking for her daddy. 199 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,257 Come on, Bennie. I'm all for playing the field, man, 200 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,302 but your shit ain't bacon, it don't got to be in everything. 201 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,428 Yeah. 202 00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,846 Well, it's Bernard's. 203 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,181 Gay Bernard? 204 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,766 Oh, that was insensitive. 205 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,393 Mm-mmm… 206 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,603 So, wait a minute. 207 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,022 If it's not yours, then what's the problem? 208 00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:26,942 Well, Regina just assumed that the kid was mine from the jump. 209 00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:28,027 Of course she did. 210 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:31,113 If you see Tina with a black eye, you know Ike did it. 211 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,031 [scoffs] 212 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:35,284 Now look, this might be seven years of prison bitterness talking, 213 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:39,121 but you have done some questionable things to those closest to you. 214 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:42,625 I meant me. 215 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,501 Yeah, that's why I'm standing over here. 216 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,463 -Yeah, we cool now. -[Bennie] Exactly. 217 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,965 No matter how many times me and Regina talk, 218 00:09:50,049 --> 00:09:53,719 the first illegitimate kid that shows up at the door, she's pointing fingers. 219 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,221 Mmm. Technically, it's the second. 220 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,475 Mmm… Technically, I only need one mechanic. 221 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,687 You right, boss. [exhales] 222 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:04,980 Regina trippin'. 223 00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:08,025 No, you got to see it from Regina's side too. 224 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,362 Like, in prison there was this guy named Raymond. 225 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,322 He shanked me pretty good. 226 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:16,158 Then a couple weeks later, I seen him in the yard. 227 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,618 And you beat his ass? 228 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,328 No, he shanked me again. 229 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,208 But that fifth time, I remembered. [chuckles] 230 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,045 And I knocked his teeth out with a 25-pound dumbbell. 231 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,422 Regina just trying not to get shanked again. 232 00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:32,716 Enough with the Shawshank stories. 233 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,637 Go find a grilled cheese paper bag jail sandwich. 234 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,722 [muttering indistinctly] 235 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:41,225 -He always talking prison. -Cooking up one right now. 236 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,351 What the hell? 237 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,853 [instrumental music playing] 238 00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:50,567 Oh, this chamomile is hitting. I am finally calming down. 239 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,237 -That makes one of us. -Well, have some more. 240 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,739 [sighs softly] 241 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,616 [clears throat] I'm good. 242 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,745 What? A little hair of the dog. 243 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,081 You have to stop drinking for that. 244 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:08,961 Mmm. This is $32 champagne. The cork was actually made of cork. 245 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,214 I still can't believe it. 246 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,925 I've had a daughter out there for nine years. 247 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,343 [Lucretia] Allegedly. 248 00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:17,594 What'd you say? 249 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:21,014 She said, "Allegedly." 250 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:24,143 Look, what I'm saying is we don't know of anything for sure. 251 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,103 That's right. She is right, okay? 252 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,022 So, none of us need to think that we're a grandma 253 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,774 until you take a paternity test. 254 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,277 I'm not taking a paternity test. 255 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,529 Oh, so you just dumb. 256 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,532 Oh, no, no, no. He's not dumb. 257 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,535 Oh, he's shook. Mm-hmm. 258 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:45,581 Well, that's why this young, hot MILF 259 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:48,959 is gonna take him to the pharmacy to buy a test. 260 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:52,504 Oh, Regina, you can't MILF yourself. 261 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:56,133 Look, I appreciate what y'all are coming from, okay? 262 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,178 But I trust Monique. If Monique says she's mine, she's mine. 263 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,596 Oh, stop talking. 264 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,307 You can't know for sure. 265 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,935 Bernard, she could just be trying to get some quick cash, okay? 266 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,271 Everybody knows they're trying to defund the po-po. 267 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:12,691 My bedroom door is a curtain. What money is she coming after? 268 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:16,403 Look, this is my daughter, my decision and my life. 269 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:20,073 You know what? You're right, sweetie. You are right. 270 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,034 Give me that DNA. 271 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,368 Ow! 272 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,912 That's not even how that works. 273 00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:27,372 Look, I gotta start my shift. 274 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,958 I took off for that little party that didn't happen. 275 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:33,086 Because I failed my test. 276 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:37,674 If you take a paternity test, you'll fail too. We are failures. 277 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,843 Again, that's that Upshaw side. 278 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,304 No one's taking a paternity test. 279 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:43,847 [Regina scoffs] 280 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,100 Someone's taking a paternity test. 281 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,435 I don't know how. 282 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,438 That beard hair slipped right through my fingers. 283 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,693 Hey, Bennie? You working on your baby again? 284 00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:01,073 Okay. I wish my girl looked at me the same way you look at that car. [chuckles] 285 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:04,409 I'm lying. I just wish she looked at me. 286 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,120 You know, Tony, this is the best relationship I ever had. 287 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,997 I treat her right. 288 00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:10,666 Yeah, she appreciate it. 289 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:13,210 And she never accuses me of having a side car. 290 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,837 [chuckles and mutters] 291 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,547 [Bernard] Hey, Tony, I got your package. 292 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,340 Ooh. I hope that's my yarn. 293 00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:22,135 I mean, uh, my lady's yarn. 294 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,847 -I order bullets. -Yeah, okay. 295 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:25,931 [vocalizes gunshot] 296 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,309 Congratulations, Bernard! We heard the news, man. 297 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,355 Yeah, man. Having children is a blessing from God. 298 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,233 Till you have to cut them in half. Solomon. 299 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,068 Yeah, I'm still processing. 300 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,112 Yeah. She sleeping through the night? 301 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,613 I hope so. She's nine. 302 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,867 You know, all day you deliver packages. 303 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:47,160 This morning someone dropped one off to you. 304 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,121 [laughter] 305 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,914 How long you been sitting on that one? 306 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,084 Since I heard you was the daddy and not me. 307 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,504 Yeah, but I'm happy for you, man. 308 00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:59,631 You want me to teach you how to be a good father? 309 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,717 Don't you have to be a good father first? 310 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,220 I thought we already done that after you swung on me? 311 00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,431 Swung on? I connected. 312 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,850 Yeah, and I let you. [sighs] 313 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:13,186 Man, let's take a look at the little girl. You got any pictures? 314 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,772 -Yeah, man. Let me see my grandbaby, man. -Yeah, man. 315 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,190 I couldn't see how cute she was 316 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,152 'cause I was too busy thinking about how to fake a stroke. 317 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,446 Uh, that's the back of her head. 318 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,157 I only thought about taking the picture as she was leaving. 319 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,617 But you see that right there? 320 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,953 -That's that Upshaw curl right there. -Ah! Uh-huh! Okay! 321 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,998 So y'all see it? Can somebody tell my mama that? 322 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,501 Her and Aunt Lucretia want me to take a paternity test, but I told them no. 323 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:39,296 That ain't gonna never end 'cause your mama's crazy 324 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,341 and your Aunt Lucretia got nothing else to do with her life. 325 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,135 Oh, so, you want me to take the test too, huh? 326 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,095 No. 327 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:49,973 Man, I want you to be your own man. 328 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,850 I got you, son. I'm with you. 329 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,936 Thanks, Pop. All right, fellas. 330 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,729 -All right, Bernard. -Bye, Bernard. 331 00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:00,359 -Oh, man, he's in a hard situation. -Yeah. 332 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,569 [chuckling] Yeah, I've been there. 333 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,780 [exhales sharply] 334 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:06,698 Really? 335 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,700 No one's even gonna ask? 336 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,037 Well, I'll tell you anyway. 337 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:16,792 I was in a similar paternity situation, but she didn't want to give me a test. 338 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,337 She said she wanted a better life for the kid and I can't blame her. 339 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,880 Now, she says it's not mine, 340 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:25,092 but I swear he's the Blackest Hungarian I've ever seen. 341 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,471 You know what? Tony's story gave me time to think about something else. 342 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,224 We should go to the casino. 343 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,935 I'm trying to share with you, man. 344 00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:37,479 But, yeah, I am feeling lucky. 345 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,314 If Regina gonna be on my ass, 346 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,608 it might as well be for something that I did. 347 00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,777 Okay, all right. Yeah. 348 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:47,030 Let me tell my girl I'll be working late. [laughs] 349 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,323 I'm sitting bitch! 350 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,326 [instrumental music playing] 351 00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,787 [sighs] I don't know about this, Cree. 352 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,248 Just showing up at Monique's. Is this right? 353 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:59,001 Well, let's talk it over, Grandma. 354 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,005 You know what? That's your last one. 355 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,465 Get your finger out of my face, Mee-maw. 356 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:11,513 Oh, shit, she's got a Ring. Ugh! You think she heard us? 357 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,766 Every word. 358 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,269 Let me guess, you want a paternity test? 359 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:19,021 Yes, we do. 360 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,231 We just want to be certain. 361 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,025 So, Bernard wants this too? 362 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,484 Kind of. 363 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,737 Then why isn't he here? 364 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,989 Why are you so sure it's Bernard's? 365 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,534 I was 17. How many men did I sleep with? 366 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,037 [scoffs] Well, if you don't know… 367 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,038 [scoffs] 368 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,289 It was one. 369 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,958 All right, look, Monique, 370 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,336 we are not trying to cause trouble in your life, okay? 371 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,714 Come on. You dropped a bomb on me. 372 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,632 On Bernard. 373 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,843 Hey, I offered him one and he said no. 374 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,845 But if you wanna go against your son's wishes, 375 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:56,016 getting all up in our business, then please, by all means, come on in. 376 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,520 [sighs] 377 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,732 So, is this a shoes on or off situation? 378 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,402 [instrumental music playing] 379 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,198 Secondhand smoke and no clocks. 380 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,117 That's just what I needed, fellas. Let's lose some money. 381 00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:17,621 Yeah, I'm already going hard. I got diet and regular. 382 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,747 [laughter] 383 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,749 Hey. New shooter. 384 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,752 [cell phone ringing] 385 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,087 [sighs] 386 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,713 Oh, shit! 387 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:28,423 My girl's trying to FaceTime me. 388 00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:29,633 I'll be right back. 389 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,260 I just gotta run to the parking lot and get under a car. 390 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,889 I swear, I think that woman is beating him. 391 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,392 Come on. 392 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:44,981 [blows sharply] Regina needs a new attitude. 393 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:49,236 Regina needs a new attitude. 394 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,823 The Internet says we can compare 395 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,534 Sydney's sample to a sample from a grandparent. 396 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,786 Well, I don't see one of those. 397 00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,455 Regina, get out your feelings. 398 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:04,459 And as I recollect, when you made Mama a grandma, 399 00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:05,919 she was younger than you. 400 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,880 Well, what are you, ancestry-dot-bitch? 401 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,425 You won't be the first grandma I slapped the shit out of. 402 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,637 Just give me the damn swab. 403 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,891 And when Bennie gets home, we'll do him too. 404 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,353 It says the grandparent test is 80% accurate. 405 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,313 Eighty? Oh, no. Hell no. 406 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:26,815 I'mma need 100%. All right? 407 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:29,359 I mean, shit, Thomas Jefferson made us all 80. 408 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,948 The one that's 100% is Bernard's mouth, and he ain't opening it. 409 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,033 Other than to tell us to mind our business. 410 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,831 We've been talking. 411 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:44,666 So? 412 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,668 We'll be brief. Aaliyah? 413 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,587 We want to know who our daddy is. 414 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,506 Oh, this is not gonna end well. 415 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,342 You know who your daddy is. 416 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:55,719 Do we? 417 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,304 Kids keep popping up, 418 00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:01,099 and for our peace of mind we want access to our birth certificates. 419 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:02,601 Okay. 420 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:03,977 Lean in. 421 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,105 Let me show you where I keep them on the back of my hand! 422 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,732 -I'm good. -I want to see. 423 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,650 No, you do not. Have a good evening. 424 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,404 [sighs] I wish Bernard were that easy. 425 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,115 He could be if you would step up. 426 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,118 We had a whole conversation. 427 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,913 Well, see, that's the problem right there. 428 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,583 This isn't the time to be conversating. You his mom. 429 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,169 You need to lay down the law. 430 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:34,174 Yeah, I… I will lay down the law. 431 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,301 [whispers] Shh. Don't wake him. 432 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,597 [whispers] Did he paint that accent wall? 433 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,182 That's not in his lease. 434 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,645 Lucretia. Can I introduce you to some bigger fish? 435 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,771 My bad. 436 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,149 Just wish he'd ask permission first. 437 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,485 I hate when family takes advantage. 438 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,363 Let's just swab him before he wakes up. 439 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,531 Good thing he sleeps with his mouth open. 440 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,576 That's probably why he has that raspy voice. 441 00:20:20,971 --> 00:20:22,639 -Give me that. -Okay. 442 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:24,557 [Bernard shifts] 443 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:28,270 -Careful. Careful! -I get it. I have a plan. 444 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,856 [loudly] Bernard! 445 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,652 What the hell are you doing? 446 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,946 Did it. Done. Good night. 447 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,698 DId y'all just swab me? 448 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,783 No, I did. Your mother was useless. 449 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,910 Monique told me what y'all did. 450 00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:46,746 What part of, "I don't need a paternity test," do you not get? 451 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,999 Bernard, you are still a child. 452 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,834 No. No, I am not. 453 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,252 Well, you are my child. 454 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,714 You don't know what you're doing not taking this test. 455 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,799 Bennie took a test when you were pregnant with me? 456 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:58,967 Oh, hell no. 457 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,469 But he was my boyfriend. We were together. 458 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,973 Well, Monique and I were together and I really cared about her. 459 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,767 Look, I was wrong. Okay? 460 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,394 I ghosted her back then. 461 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,021 That doesn't make her a liar. 462 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,440 She might have wanted to tell me. 463 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:17,152 Is that why you made us get a new phone number? 464 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,529 You owe me a $45 change fee. 465 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:23,950 I missed nine years. I'm not missing another day. 466 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:28,663 The way Bennie trusted you, I trust Monique. 467 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,374 Shit. I trust Monique more than I trust Bennie. 468 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,377 Are you sure? 469 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,005 Yes, 100%. 470 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:40,133 I mean, for real, for real? Sure, sure? 471 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,051 Mom. 472 00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:42,969 -Okay. -[sighs softly] 473 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,306 I get it. 474 00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,142 It's not about me. 475 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,858 [smacks lips] As long as you're sure and as long as you're good. 476 00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,527 I'd be better if I can get back to sleep. 477 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,323 [Bernard sighs] 478 00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:05,408 Are y'all crazy? Give me that swab. 479 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,911 Just… Let's just leave it. 480 00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:13,166 Fine. 481 00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:17,045 But I'll be back to talk about that accent wall. 482 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:19,714 [instrumental music playing] 483 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,133 -Hey. -Hey. 484 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,427 What you writing? 485 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:27,180 I'm writing a list of names that Sydney can call me 486 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,766 -that don't make me want to drink bleach. -[chuckles] 487 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,102 Best one I have is Ree-Ree. 488 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:35,188 You've been trying to get that one going since high school. 489 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,065 Well, this is my chance. 490 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:39,442 I always wanted to be Pappy. [chuckles] 491 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:42,028 [scoffs] Yeah, I can see you as Pappy. 492 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,115 Why do you smell like a casino? 493 00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:47,450 'Cause I've been to the casino. 494 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:52,789 No surprise there. Figured you would act out from earlier. 495 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,624 So how much did you lose? 496 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,876 Nothing. I didn't gamble. 497 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,505 Yeah, right. What, you going to close your eyes at the strip club too? 498 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:04,008 I knew you wouldn't believe me. That's why I got Duck. Duck, tell 'em. 499 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,176 He ain't gamble. 500 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,513 -Beat it, Duck. -But you drove. 501 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:09,597 Beat it, Duck. 502 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,517 I guess we hoofing it, Tony. How you doing, Regina? 503 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,476 [door closes] 504 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,231 Okay. What the hell are we right now? 505 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:22,277 Sex at night? We fight in the morning? [exhales] 506 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,738 I think you got more side kids. You walking out. [scoffs] 507 00:23:26,865 --> 00:23:28,950 God, how did we get here? 508 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:30,118 I don't know. 509 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,705 But I don't like it. I was pissed the way you looked at me 510 00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,665 after we had that talk the other night, 511 00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:37,876 but I figured if I rolled the dice, 512 00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:40,587 I'd just be doing the same thing I always do. 513 00:23:42,797 --> 00:23:44,674 I don't want to go back in that basement. 514 00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,261 I don't want you back in the basement. 515 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:52,932 I liked last night. 516 00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,311 You did. 517 00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,023 I broke you off good when I pulled your leg up-- 518 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,692 I was talking about our emotional connection, jackass. 519 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:03,693 Oh, yeah. 520 00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:05,987 But you're not wrong. 521 00:24:06,529 --> 00:24:08,823 So, how do we not do this? 522 00:24:09,574 --> 00:24:12,035 Just don't do it. 523 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,705 -That's my Ree-Ree. -[chuckles] 524 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:20,084 That's my man. Knowing me. 525 00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:23,588 Man. 526 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,342 I can't believe Bernard got a kid. 527 00:24:27,926 --> 00:24:29,886 I'm told I have to believe it. 528 00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,224 -Wait a minute. -What? 529 00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:35,350 Be honest. 530 00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:40,063 Is him being gay easier for you now that he's got a baby mama? 531 00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:42,023 Not if it's wrong for feeling it. 532 00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:44,108 I like that he's a father. 533 00:24:44,192 --> 00:24:46,236 Who knows if he'll find a good dude 534 00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:48,821 and have to pay some white lady to have their baby. 535 00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:51,074 Maybe it's his only shot. 536 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:54,577 You keep surprising me. [chuckles] 537 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:58,456 You surprised me when you told me you was pregnant with Bernard. 538 00:24:58,540 --> 00:24:59,374 [chuckles] 539 00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,960 Why did you have to break the news at the Hardee's? 540 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,504 I was on a shift break. 541 00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:06,756 [both laughing] 542 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:09,008 I remember the look on your face. 543 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:11,302 That's 'cause you charged me for them fries. 544 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,806 -We weren't nothing but 16. -Mmm. 545 00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:17,809 -Those kids have come a long way. -Yeah. 546 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:19,394 Damn long way. 547 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:22,772 Their baby has a baby. 548 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,024 And she's cute too. I love her. 549 00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:26,693 Oh. Hell yeah, she's cute. 550 00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,447 Word on the street is her Ree-Ree is fine. 551 00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,283 Yeah, and the street's ain't lying. 552 00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:35,910 I love you, baby. 553 00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,579 I love you too. 554 00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:44,335 Hey, Regina, babe. Just, uh, finishing up here at the shop. 555 00:25:45,503 --> 00:25:46,546 Be home soon. 556 00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:48,631 Yeah, I can bring milk. 557 00:25:49,924 --> 00:25:50,925 Love you, babe. 558 00:25:53,678 --> 00:25:54,804 Sorry about that. 559 00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:57,599 So, where were we? 560 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:02,478 [theme music playing]