1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,009 ‎NETFLIX 剧集 2 00:00:12,805 --> 00:00:13,848 ‎好 3 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:18,102 ‎进入考试模式 我需要什么? 4 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,564 ‎铅笔 草纸 5 00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:23,649 ‎蜡烛 6 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:28,738 ‎这个闻起来更聪明一点 7 00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:32,075 ‎必须把座位弄舒服点! 8 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,789 ‎什么…你又在这里过夜了? 9 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,707 ‎我爸说我可以 10 00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:41,876 ‎既然你问了 看起来你事先不知道 11 00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,921 ‎我没时间跟你胡闹 12 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,422 ‎能把我的毛毯还给我吗? 13 00:00:46,506 --> 00:00:47,423 ‎你的毛毯? 14 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:55,348 ‎你为什么不告诉我 ‎凯文昨晚又住在这里了? 15 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,267 ‎你划花了我的车时 16 00:00:58,351 --> 00:01:00,311 ‎明确地宣示了你知道我所做的一切 17 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,230 ‎但是如果你想划他的自行车 18 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,272 ‎就在外面停着呢 19 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:06,734 ‎这事都过了一周了 20 00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:08,653 ‎我说过对不起了 21 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,446 ‎就一次 22 00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:13,533 ‎我需要听到很多对不起才够 23 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,537 ‎对不起 对不起 对不起 对不起 24 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:18,746 ‎他什么时候回去? 25 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,500 ‎嘿 凯文不经常过来 蕾吉娜 26 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,628 ‎伯尼 这周到现在已经三个晚上了 27 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,589 ‎那孩子过来我挺开心 28 00:01:28,673 --> 00:01:29,841 ‎-明白吗? ‎-明白 29 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,592 ‎但是塔莎在占便宜 30 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:34,512 ‎她不能自己一想出去花天酒地 ‎就把孩子扔在这里 31 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,514 ‎你了解塔莎 32 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,101 ‎她很狂野 还很年轻 33 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,103 ‎我就不年轻了? 34 00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:46,149 ‎我不是说你不年轻了 ‎但她是比你年轻 35 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:53,072 ‎那辆科迈罗还有一面我没有划到 36 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,326 ‎听着 你是对的 宝贝 ‎是我错了还不行吗? 37 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,537 ‎我会跟老婆娘塔莎谈谈 38 00:02:01,873 --> 00:02:04,292 ‎凯文还在沙发上呢 伙计 39 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,628 ‎拜托 我告诉过你 ‎我今天要考GMAT 40 00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,589 ‎这里不能有额外的噪音 41 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:12,383 ‎伯尼 你知道的 我考试时需要安静 42 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,969 ‎耳机发明出来就是干这个用的 43 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,389 ‎他们允许你在网上考试 44 00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:19,807 ‎作弊啊! 45 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:24,729 ‎我个人更愿意靠我自己的能力考过 46 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,066 ‎还有 他们有监考人员看着 ‎所以我没法作弊 47 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,569 ‎你知道吗 亲爱的? ‎你得应付这个问题 48 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,906 ‎你知道吗? ‎就像你对付我的车一样对付好这件事 49 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,575 ‎-拜托… ‎-而且凯文不会捅篓子的 50 00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:40,077 ‎-什么? ‎-我弄的! 51 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,206 ‎伯尼 我…妈的 52 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,093 ‎好啦 53 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,597 ‎你考试时我看着孩子们 ‎你准备好了吗? 54 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,973 ‎好得不能再好了 55 00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:07,563 ‎我准备了瘦约翰肉肠、星爆软糖 ‎还有4升咖啡 56 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:08,731 ‎我准备好了 57 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:10,691 ‎准备好去上厕所吧 58 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,612 ‎乱搞 光是瘦约翰肉肠 ‎就够让我去看急诊了 59 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,988 ‎来 这个 60 00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:17,031 ‎这是要干什么? 61 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,909 ‎你有不懂的就写在这上面 62 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,745 ‎我从一元店买的 ‎所以别写得太用力了 63 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,830 ‎我不作弊 64 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:25,873 ‎但是你会不及格啊 65 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,586 ‎-这么说没人相信我? ‎-你第一次考的时候我们相信过你 66 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:31,921 ‎我们甚至还拉了条横幅 67 00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:33,589 ‎你有过机会 68 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:37,093 ‎我上次没准备好 ‎伯尼和我当时一团糟 69 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,928 ‎他原谅你划他车的事情了? 70 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:42,765 ‎我们还是一团糟 ‎但上次我脑袋里全都是那些钱的事情 71 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,685 ‎-他还你钱了? ‎-没有 妈的 别拿这件事烦我! 72 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,355 ‎去他的 我我跟你说 ‎这次不一样了 明白吗? 73 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,607 ‎我要在我的卧室里考试 74 00:03:51,691 --> 00:03:53,234 ‎裹着我的幸运毛毯 75 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,361 ‎我胸有成足 76 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:56,821 ‎-好 ‎-对 77 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,990 ‎我真是受够了GMAT这摊子烂事 78 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,658 ‎压力山大 79 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:04,537 ‎上次真糟糕 你把全家人都骂了一遍 80 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,871 ‎还叫我婊子 81 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,582 ‎因为你的做派就像是个婊子 82 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:11,377 ‎但你是考砸了之后说这话的 83 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:14,297 ‎为了全家人 一定要考过 84 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,590 ‎真是减轻压力的好方法呢 露奎茜 85 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,509 ‎我没那个意思 蕾吉娜 86 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,510 ‎考过 87 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:27,310 ‎这么说 我们要一起待一天 88 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:28,728 ‎对 89 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,897 ‎真激动人心 90 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:33,983 ‎对 91 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,403 ‎你喜欢我的酱吗? 92 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,406 ‎这是烟熏豪达 我最喜欢的奶酪 93 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,533 ‎我讨厌奶酪 会让我胃不舒服 94 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,077 ‎会让我放屁 ‎有一次我还以为又是一个屁… 95 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:48,164 ‎你知道吗?我们现在不用吃东西 96 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,458 ‎想看电影吗?我可以放《冰雪奇缘》 97 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,918 ‎《冰雪奇缘》?你这么老派? 98 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,172 ‎你不想穿礼服吗? 99 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,131 ‎你想? 100 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,049 ‎现在不想 101 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,054 ‎有什么玩的吗? 102 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,973 ‎楼下洗衣房里有人留下一盒 ‎孩之宝的手术游戏 103 00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:08,726 ‎但是零件全丢了 ‎所以我们已经算是赢了 104 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:14,940 ‎要不然我们随便聊聊天 ‎有什么问题都可以问我 105 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,150 ‎好 106 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:19,695 ‎你跟我妈在一起时 ‎外面还有男朋友吗? 107 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,822 ‎我父母家还有玩具 108 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,741 ‎我先把这个蒙起来 109 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,868 ‎我不想让我的意大利熏火腿硬了 110 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,497 ‎-好像你知道自己是同性恋… ‎-随它去吧 我们这就走 111 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,167 ‎(全天无休 伯尼汽车维修公司) 112 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,753 ‎这些沾了油的抹布放在哪里? 113 00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:39,006 ‎老地方 自动售货机后面 114 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,132 ‎你是头一天上班吗? 115 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,012 ‎嘿 戴维斯来了 116 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,515 ‎怎么戴维斯不在车里? 117 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:48,682 ‎是耶稣在开车吗? 118 00:05:51,644 --> 00:05:53,938 ‎发动机还在转的时候不能推车 119 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,357 ‎没转 这就是问题 120 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,608 ‎其实是问题之一 121 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,153 ‎有异响 122 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,489 ‎玩命烧机油 123 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,741 ‎方向盘还往右偏 124 00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:07,910 ‎也许它是想给自己找个善终的地方 125 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,913 ‎我需要把这车修好 126 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:15,000 ‎这辆车是我的生计 ‎我妈还在追着我要房租 127 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,128 ‎我记得那房子就在你妈名下啊 128 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,379 ‎这就是现实 129 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,090 ‎你得帮我 伯尼 130 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,883 ‎我得开黑优步车 131 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:26,512 ‎没有人会花优步黑车的价格 ‎来坐这辆破烂车 132 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:30,224 ‎我没说优步黑车 ‎我说的是“黑优步车” 133 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,561 ‎我的目标是精选客户 134 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:39,650 ‎我置办了大喜吉座套 ‎冰雪碧、麦芽酒和炸猪皮 135 00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:43,404 ‎后排有屏幕 循环播放《骚狐狸》 136 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,073 ‎帕姆格里尔永远不会变老 137 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,702 ‎嘿 你听说 ‎泰瑞尔汽车改装店的事了吗? 138 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,036 ‎他们被人关了 139 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,705 ‎对 安全检查出了岔子 140 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:56,000 ‎这个月的第三家了 ‎传言说下一个要关门的就是我们 141 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,837 ‎为什么他们总是跟小店过不去? 142 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,964 ‎他们就不会去关派佩兄弟的店 143 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,967 ‎因为他们有大型修车厂罩着 144 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,093 ‎这倒是提醒了我 145 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,554 ‎我这车还需要个消声器 146 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,223 ‎不对 是得给消声器配个车 147 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,853 ‎我们现在没时间修 ‎得先把这个地方收拾整洁 148 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,064 ‎-鸭鸭 把脏抹布都拿上 ‎-你想让我把它们放在哪里? 149 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,775 ‎扔到泰瑞尔那边去 ‎妈的 反正他们关门了 150 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,113 ‎我们去打迷你高尔夫是不是超龄了? 151 00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:28,365 ‎姑娘 你疯了吧 ‎迷你高尔夫可不一般 152 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,993 ‎你们也去? 153 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,206 ‎好吧 蕾吉娜考试 ‎需要安静祥和的环境 154 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:36,957 ‎你终于来了 155 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,250 ‎你准备好了吗? 156 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,503 ‎我们不能走 我的鬃狮蜥丢了 157 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,590 ‎埃德加是我们班的宠物 158 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,092 ‎他是一条鬃狮蜥 我应该看着他的 159 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:49,553 ‎但我猜我失职了 160 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,639 ‎等等 这房子里有条蜥蜴? 161 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,765 ‎他不是蜥蜴 162 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,350 ‎他是条鬃狮蜥 163 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:57,061 ‎我试着让他娶我的芭比娃娃时 ‎他逃掉了 164 00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:00,314 ‎等一下 你妈妈允许你带蜥蜴回家? 165 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,440 ‎没有 是爸爸同意的 166 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,025 ‎那个蠢货 167 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,487 ‎你妈妈害怕任何有鳞的东西 168 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,405 ‎因为当年有只蜥蜴爬进了家里 169 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,074 ‎她看见外公开枪打死了它 170 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,909 ‎她害怕的难道不应该是子弹吗? 171 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,244 ‎还是害怕你爸? 172 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,455 ‎头脑该怎么运转它自己说了算 173 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,209 ‎她看见那玩意儿就完蛋了 174 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,710 ‎她肯定会考砸的 175 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,379 ‎我不想再经历一遍 176 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,589 ‎妈妈把我的照片弄得一团糟 177 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,716 ‎恶心 它们长这个样子? 178 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,302 ‎就是这样的吗?那是恐龙! 179 00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:31,470 ‎等等 你怕了吗? 180 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:33,681 ‎我像是害怕了? 181 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:35,724 ‎有一点 182 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,727 ‎你最后一次见到他是在哪里? 183 00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:42,648 ‎-就在凯文站的地方 ‎-在我身上!我觉得它在我身上 184 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,567 ‎闭嘴!你会吵到蕾吉娜的! 185 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,694 ‎不好 她可能已经听见我说话了 186 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,952 ‎想用你的陷阱题来耍小聪明 187 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,496 ‎今天不行 188 00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:02,418 ‎GMAT 今天我要好好教训你 189 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:05,462 ‎对不起 是我不对 190 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,591 ‎安妮修女 你是个极好的监考官 191 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,493 ‎好 你妈状况良好 192 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,829 ‎我们接下来这么干 193 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:43,208 ‎我们要找到那只蜥蜴 守口如瓶 194 00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:46,045 ‎然后我们大家去打迷你高尔夫 195 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,632 ‎我不会离开这把椅子的 ‎我的天啊!有东西碰了我! 196 00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:54,720 ‎这副样子不好看 197 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,307 ‎嘿 你下来干什么? 198 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,309 ‎休息十分钟 他在干吗? 199 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853 ‎我们都在玩“地板是熔岩” 200 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,563 ‎他是唯一的幸存者 201 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,858 ‎回楼上去 你搅和了我们的游戏 202 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:13,113 ‎嘿 如果你不把脚从我的沙发上移开 203 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:15,407 ‎我们会玩“你的屁股开花” 204 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:17,576 ‎说实话 我左右为难 205 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,040 ‎把工具收好 206 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,459 ‎我在努力 但这个关不上 207 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,294 ‎它已经非常习惯了里面不放工具 208 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,256 ‎加油 伙计 ‎赶快干 有一场检查等着我们呢 209 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:34,051 ‎我不能因为一个套筒扳手就关门大吉 210 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,637 ‎我去了泰瑞尔那边 211 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,682 ‎你们猜不到 ‎他们的门上已经上了链条锁 212 00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:43,852 ‎-你把它们带回来有什么用? ‎-这些东西不能随便扔 213 00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,896 ‎这就是所谓的“地球危险品” 214 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,565 ‎要是你找不到地方处理掉这些抹布 215 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,651 ‎你就会变成所谓的“失业人员” 216 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,904 ‎这种语气不会让工作进展得更快 217 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,406 ‎伯尼! 218 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,907 ‎他妈的赶快出来! 219 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,451 ‎鸭鸭 把抹布点着了扔在我身上 220 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,495 ‎现在你倒想留下抹布了? 221 00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,791 ‎别跟逮捕我一样吆喝我 222 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,126 ‎你来这里干什么? 223 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,460 ‎我收到你的短信了 224 00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,004 ‎为什么要拿我的东西? ‎这不是物品交换聚会 225 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,257 ‎就算是孩子的抚养费吧 226 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,134 ‎但我还是要收儿童抚养费 227 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,803 ‎你后面厕所里有卫生纸吗? ‎我喜欢单层的 228 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,807 ‎别拿我的东西了 ‎你这个住救济房的海盗 229 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,936 ‎是你说的 我们需要谈谈 230 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,022 ‎对 那说的是电话里谈 别来我店里 231 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,483 ‎你把凯文留在我家的时间太长了 232 00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:34,695 ‎对不起 凯文他爹 233 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:38,949 ‎别这么说 ‎因为我很高兴有他这么个孩子 234 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,200 ‎但是你不能 235 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:44,121 ‎一出去跟随便什么人鬼混 ‎就把他甩给我 236 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,417 ‎好吧 这种话你本来可以 ‎发短信告诉我的 237 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,419 ‎我会杀了你 238 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,508 ‎听着 虽然这不关你的事 239 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:02,014 ‎但我正好在跟一个很好的男人交往 ‎非常感谢 240 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:02,931 ‎真的? 241 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,516 ‎他有辆雷克萨斯 242 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,853 ‎是车 不是女儿的名字 243 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,108 ‎他能替我出孩子的抚养费吗? 244 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,194 ‎你知道吗? 245 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,653 ‎我包装满了 246 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,156 ‎凯文!走吧!我正解冻着肉呢! 247 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,908 ‎(包里有我的一切) 248 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,202 ‎凯文不在这里 在我家 249 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,872 ‎所以你可以把他留在你家 ‎但我不能? 250 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,541 ‎(汽车维修特价!) 251 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,628 ‎找到什么了吗? 252 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,089 ‎找到几个老鼠夹子 ‎倒是可以解决问题 253 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,008 ‎我讨厌老鼠 254 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,760 ‎你今天真是胆小鬼 255 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,720 ‎不在车道上 256 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,555 ‎但是我看到了最可爱的松鼠 257 00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:44,890 ‎我能留下他吗? 258 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,558 ‎松鼠会携带狂犬病毒 259 00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,685 ‎你怎么会比我更受人欢迎? 260 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,771 ‎这个我不置可否 只能笑纳 261 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:55,442 ‎这场考试 ‎比80年代的节奏蓝调乐队还零碎 262 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,237 ‎你坐在我椅背上干什么? 263 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,447 ‎是啊 凯文 游戏结束了 下来吧 264 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,409 ‎你怎么下来掺和我们的事情了? 265 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,245 ‎脚脖子全都露出来了? 266 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,080 ‎补水休息 267 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:12,125 ‎他们给你多少休息时间? ‎能给我们一份时间表吗? 268 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,593 ‎好吧 你们怎么全都这么奇怪? 269 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:22,803 ‎是因为我的舞步 270 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:28,517 ‎既然你想毁掉这场惊喜 ‎其实我们正在为你做蛋糕庆祝 271 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,728 ‎这就是他坐在椅背上的原因 ‎他要把脚踩进去 272 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,275 ‎你们几个 做蛋糕? 273 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,736 ‎七彩米在上面的柜子里 274 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,947 ‎是的 知道了 滚上楼去吧 275 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,953 ‎该死的 现在我们得烤蛋糕了 276 00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:54,459 ‎他又来了 ‎这个讨厌的混蛋就在水槽下 277 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,460 ‎让我上去! 278 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,214 ‎他可能很滑 ‎也许我们只要打晕他就行 279 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,841 ‎别伤害他! 280 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,593 ‎没关系 她会非常温柔的 281 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,720 ‎但也许你得闭上眼睛 282 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,556 ‎你现在有麻烦了 你去死吧 鬃狮蜥 283 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,183 ‎你个大男人躲在那上面还真是勇敢 284 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,060 ‎我看见他了! 285 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,646 ‎我觉得他跑掉了 286 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,357 ‎我身上有东西 为什么我身上湿了? 287 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,869 ‎-你刚才做了什么? ‎-我想也许我能淹死他? 288 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:29,995 ‎关掉那个玩意儿! 289 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,205 ‎-什么玩意儿? ‎-你知道的!那个玩意儿! 290 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:37,336 ‎嘿 我们…这是…水槽怎么了? 291 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,172 ‎-你们没关阀门? ‎-就是这个叫法! 292 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,632 ‎而且我们没有关上 293 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,383 ‎我的鬃狮蜥把水槽弄坏了! 294 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,010 ‎肯定是的 宝贝 姨妈! 295 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,346 ‎你听到她的话了! ‎她的鬃狮蜥把水槽弄坏了! 296 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,307 ‎-是真的吗? ‎-千真万确! 297 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,811 ‎我得把这家伙弄出去 我带他去车行 298 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:58,565 ‎修好水槽 找到蜥蜴 ‎谁都不许打扰你妈 299 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,108 ‎直到她考完为止 300 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:01,735 ‎来吧 咱们走 301 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,988 ‎我的鞋不能弄湿了 302 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,328 ‎走吧! 303 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,457 ‎松鼠还在外面吗? 304 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:24,174 ‎抹布都处理掉了 别问我怎么干的 ‎为地球祈祷就好了 305 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:25,759 ‎还有我的心灵 306 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,012 ‎伙计们 快到了 307 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:32,808 ‎刚跟我外号“左腿”的哥们打了电话 ‎检查员就在附近 308 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,769 ‎是啊 我很确定他会先去毛片店 309 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,438 ‎他最好别去 ‎去了就会发现那些抹布了 310 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,025 ‎-我们没事儿 ‎-好的 311 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,694 ‎我们忙了一早上 312 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,737 ‎-这里都收拾好了 ‎-是啊 313 00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,532 ‎-保证这里没有鬃狮蜥! ‎-什么? 314 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,742 ‎嘿 伙计 你从哪里过来的? 315 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,577 ‎你动了我珍藏的东西? 316 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,287 ‎他没嗑药 就是一团糟而已 317 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,207 ‎我需要香辣手指玉米脆和根汁啤酒 ‎才能平静下来 318 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,212 ‎都怪你 家里变得一团糟 319 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,007 ‎你怎么能让小女孩带鬃狮蜥回家? 320 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,884 ‎是真的吗?我还以为她说的是你呢 321 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:09,803 ‎我不知道 322 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:13,056 ‎这会毁了蕾吉娜的考试 323 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,350 ‎我非常相信你和蕾吉娜能搞定这件事 324 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,644 ‎你们两个把我的车搞得漂漂亮亮的 325 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,730 ‎低级神奇双侠 326 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:20,897 ‎解除激活状态 327 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,984 ‎那件破事你打算唠叨到什么时候? 328 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,279 ‎你对蕾吉娜做了这么多烂事 ‎她就不能犯一次错误? 329 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,948 ‎不能 因为只要我犯“一次错误” 330 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,616 ‎你们就会唠叨得把人烦死 331 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,827 ‎你知道吗?我要回去了 332 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,621 ‎好确保蕾吉娜考个高分 333 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,000 ‎足够进研究生院 遇见配得上她的人 334 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,210 ‎然后甩了你 335 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,839 ‎你快从这里滚出去 336 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,549 ‎把凯文带上 337 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,301 ‎今天他不能留在这里 338 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,928 ‎因为我们这里今天有人来检查 339 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,013 ‎检查? 340 00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:56,433 ‎妈的 屋漏偏逢连夜雨 341 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,478 ‎你明白吧 你儿子你处理 342 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,438 ‎我妹妹我处理 343 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,695 ‎还有为啥这个通风口在冒烟? 344 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,281 ‎你的脸让它紧张了呗 345 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,871 ‎好吧 我暂时把水关上了 346 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,956 ‎但我们要么找个真正的水管工 ‎要么找条船 347 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:24,086 ‎我们尽可能收拾干净了 ‎别的毛巾都在妈妈的浴室里 348 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:27,172 ‎-怎么样了? ‎-我觉得我们干得不错 349 00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:29,883 ‎该死! 350 00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,177 ‎我觉得有个地方我们没擦干 351 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,179 ‎-姨妈 你怎么样了? ‎-你还好吗? 352 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,348 ‎-谁都别碰我 ‎-你可能会脑震荡 353 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,517 ‎还好我 354 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,061 ‎我们至少得把你的头垫起来 355 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,437 ‎去找个枕头 356 00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:46,191 ‎如果我们让她太舒服 ‎她可能会睡着 那可不好 357 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,528 ‎-好吧 给她拿本书 ‎-你喜欢哪种 浪漫的还是神秘的? 358 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,571 ‎给她垫脑袋用的! 359 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,533 ‎有点小乐趣 360 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:55,992 ‎真的?你觉得有趣? 361 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,327 ‎是啊 362 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,122 ‎姨妈 你都听见了吗? ‎跟着我她觉得有趣 363 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,540 ‎真是最好的一天 364 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:07,129 ‎去看看你妈 确保她什么都没听到 365 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,172 ‎我这一跤摔得不太优雅 366 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,841 ‎我替你难过 你还好吗? 367 00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,134 ‎去吧 368 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,931 ‎天啊 这是什么日子 369 00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:20,851 ‎我本来应该 ‎去迷你高尔夫球场一醉方休的 370 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,027 ‎他在这里! 371 00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:43,456 ‎见鬼 不要 372 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,671 ‎嘿 妈 你听到了什么? 373 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,174 ‎你呼吸急促 374 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,427 ‎你为什么在我门外鬼鬼祟祟的? 375 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:59,222 ‎我刚才在祈祷你通过考试 376 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,310 ‎上楼是因为我会更接近上帝 377 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,227 ‎阿门 378 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,188 ‎好吧 379 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,399 ‎他听到了 因为我过了 380 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,984 ‎-你及格了? ‎-我及格了! 381 00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,695 ‎我们没事了!她及格了! 382 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,989 ‎好的 妈 现在听我说 不要慌 383 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,242 ‎露奎茜姨妈在厨房里 但她说她没事 384 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:23,121 ‎我的天啊 露奎茜! ‎出什么事了?她为什么倒在地上? 385 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,372 ‎她在那里摔倒了 386 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,125 ‎你搞定了吗? 387 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,628 ‎什么?是过了 但是我们先不说那个 388 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,879 ‎不用再考GMAT了? 389 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:31,838 ‎不用了 390 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,882 ‎好 赶快打电话 391 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,052 ‎你需要水管工 我需要做个CT 392 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,304 ‎我找到他了! 393 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,267 ‎别压住我那条好腿 394 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,149 ‎-嘿 凯文 ‎-我不知道你要来接我 395 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,777 ‎你妈妈来不及赶过来 ‎所以喊了我过来 396 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,238 ‎嘿 我有机会再开一下 ‎你的雷克萨斯吗? 397 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,990 ‎-你会等我上车再开走吗? ‎-我之前绕回来接你了 398 00:19:59,074 --> 00:20:01,284 ‎绕回来接我 你真是那个意思? 399 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,661 ‎-你爸在吗? ‎-在 400 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,329 ‎-我去告诉他一声 ‎-好 401 00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:07,666 ‎哪位是伯尼厄普肖? 402 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,251 ‎是我 403 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,128 ‎这是我的店 对 404 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,630 ‎幸会 我是诺亚杨 405 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,298 ‎嘿 你好吗? 406 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,010 ‎我等了你一天了 407 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:19,928 ‎需要什么吗? 408 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:21,888 ‎要不要检查一下洗手间?还是… 409 00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,807 ‎-不需要 ‎-好的 410 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,185 ‎你能看出来 我这里椅子都摆好了 411 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,729 ‎然后更新了我的杂志 412 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,773 ‎而且这里味道不错 413 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,401 ‎是的 看起来是一个非常不错的地方 414 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,945 ‎是 小菜一碟 我正要贿赂你呢 415 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,196 ‎不是啦 我是开个玩笑 416 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:40,240 ‎除非你要我这么做 417 00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:44,411 ‎好 我想我可以停止假装抽烟了 418 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,289 ‎我可以去把那些脏抹布拿回来了 419 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,000 ‎天啊 420 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,543 ‎毛片店着火了 421 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,129 ‎天啊 422 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,756 ‎我猜我不用还我租的那些录像带了 423 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,676 ‎都2021年了 你还在租毛片看? 424 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,720 ‎我女朋友检查我的浏览器记录 425 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,347 ‎对不起 我只是来这里接凯文的 426 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:08,018 ‎你要对凯文做什么? ‎这算是哪门子检查? 427 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,647 ‎我觉得有些误会 ‎我应该更好地介绍一下自己 428 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:16,234 ‎我是塔莎的男朋友诺亚 ‎她让我来接凯文 429 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,194 ‎她在利用你 430 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,157 ‎嘿 诺亚 我东西都收拾好了 431 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,825 ‎凯文 你认识这个家伙吗? 432 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,618 ‎他是我妈的男朋友 433 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,954 ‎你妈妈的男朋友为什么要来接你? 434 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,748 ‎因为妈妈经常迟到 435 00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:31,249 ‎是啊 436 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,085 ‎你们连私房笑话都有了? 437 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,796 ‎好吧 既然是你开车接他 438 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,506 ‎一定要他坐在儿童座椅里 439 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:40,884 ‎他是大小伙子了 440 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:44,179 ‎是的 我知道 ‎这是我们的私房玩笑 对吧 儿子? 441 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:45,972 ‎我们可没开过这种玩笑 442 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:48,308 ‎好吧 这就开了 行吗? 443 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,143 ‎笑啊 儿子 444 00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:51,561 ‎笑 445 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,814 ‎我停车的地方离那家成人电影店很近 446 00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:57,233 ‎所以要是没别的事 我们得走了 447 00:21:58,026 --> 00:21:59,069 ‎你没事了吗 凯文? 448 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,737 ‎没了 回头见 449 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,989 ‎嘿 你想在我们常去的汉堡店 ‎停一下吗? 450 00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:05,116 ‎-买辣味奶酪堡? ‎-对了 走吧 451 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,372 ‎一定要系好安全带! 452 00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,499 ‎是你爸在说话! 453 00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:14,542 ‎我是你爸! 454 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,129 ‎他们对了拳头 一切都合拍 455 00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,089 ‎你看到了吗? 456 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,590 ‎很高兴看到那个 伙计 457 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,967 ‎一个男孩在他的生活中 ‎需要一个好榜样 458 00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:27,097 ‎闭嘴 戴维斯 还有你糟糕的生活 459 00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:30,433 ‎-还有这个破烂的… ‎-嘿! 460 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,270 ‎天哪!看你干的好事! 461 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:36,815 ‎该死! 462 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,067 ‎真该死! 463 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:41,486 ‎我是因安公司的!这是突击检查 464 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:42,612 ‎来的真是时候! 465 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:43,655 ‎我的膝盖! 466 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:44,989 ‎我的腰! 467 00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,449 ‎我的膝盖和腰! 468 00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:50,328 ‎这个通风口没问题 我只是在抽烟 469 00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:53,415 ‎在修车行吸烟 470 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,166 ‎通风口故障 471 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,627 ‎还有那个人在用油画天使 472 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,337 ‎没有 我是想站起来! 473 00:23:02,674 --> 00:23:04,551 ‎你们在很多项目上都不及格 474 00:23:05,969 --> 00:23:07,512 ‎现在贿赂你还来得及吗? 475 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:42,088 ‎字幕翻译: 郑兴锐