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‪NETFLIX 原創影集

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‪早上有發生什麼事嗎？

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‪發生得可多了

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‪我一起床，一隻腳就嚴重抽筋

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‪所以我搖搖晃晃走下樓拿香蕉

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‪結果腳趾又踢到另一隻腳

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‪我能出現在這簡直是奇蹟

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‪怎麼了？

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‪我們9點和固特異有會要開

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‪沒人告訴我

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‪我傳了十幾次邀請給你

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‪-有的話我應該會知道
‪-你有打開通知嗎？

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‪有，我打開了，只是…

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‪現在打開了

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‪所以…

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‪會議開得如何？

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‪我們改期了，因為你沒出席

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‪這點我也寄電子郵件跟你說了

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‪收到了

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‪那個人是誰？

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‪法蘭克？他是貝絲的男朋友

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‪真假？我以為你們…

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‪不是…為何…我和貝絲…

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‪沒有…我幹嘛要那樣？

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‪的確

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‪她可以找到比你好的，也確實找到了

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‪科學怪人！

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‪他活起來了！

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‪過來抱一個，醜怪物

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‪你好香喔，你搽什麼？

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‪我只有用肥皂

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‪-我喜歡，酷喔
‪-謝謝

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‪你不是要去休士頓嗎？

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‪我現在正要去機場

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‪貝絲把手機充電器放在我家了

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‪親愛的

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‪抱歉我遲到了，路上塞得一塌糊塗

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‪謝謝你送午餐來給我

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‪-等你到機場時記得傳…
‪-午餐？

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‪-等一下，你剛才說…
‪-不要…

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‪-等一下
‪-凱文，別開

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‪不要，有人說謊騙我

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‪妳說是午餐，他說是手機充電器

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‪到底怎麼回事？

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‪貝絲

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‪妳是太空人？

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‪我有睡眠呼吸中止症

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‪我一小時死13次

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‪對，很令人崩潰

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‪我一直打9、1，然後又掛掉

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‪我不是動物

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‪我已經一個禮拜沒洗了

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{\an8}‪大家早安

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{\an8}‪首先，我想恭喜全隊
‪在波科諾賽事的精采表現

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{\an8}‪這讓我們上升到第26位

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{\an8}‪太棒了，都是你們的功勞

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{\an8}‪對了，阿米爾做得好
‪修好了引擎控制單元的臭蟲

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‪不然會耗掉整個週末

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{\an8}‪對不起

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{\an8}‪她是在稱讚你，白痴

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{\an8}‪你們可能已經知道

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{\an8}‪我們上個禮拜
‪不得已和大蹄燒烤的朋友分道揚鑣了

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{\an8}‪-當然，大家都知道了
‪-好，不過有好消息

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{\an8}‪我們找到更好的贊助商

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{\an8}‪巴比史賓瑟賽車
‪會成為一項新產品的門面

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{\an8}‪我知道你們都很好奇

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{\an8}‪我終於可以讓你們知道…

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‪是烏龜嗎？

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‪對，就是烏龜

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‪看起來就像烏龜，我是靠外型判斷的

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{\an8}‪容我介紹…

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{\an8}‪假牛排

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{\an8}‪假牛排是什麼？

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{\an8}‪用蘑菇做的全美新流行牛肉替代品

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‪狗喜歡吃這個？

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{\an8}‪這是給人吃的

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{\an8}‪就像是高級版的不可能漢堡

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{\an8}‪假牛排要推出全新的全國活動

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{\an8}‪而且還想和我們的傑克馬汀拍廣告

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‪讚喔，傑克

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‪這是在開玩笑吧？

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‪希望如此

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‪拜託

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‪凱文，你會吃吃看吧？

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‪為啥？我幹了什麼？

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‪凱文，過來吃一口假牛排

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‪妳沒搞錯吧？

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‪吃

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‪聞起來好像烏龜

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‪你一定會很喜歡

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‪他們是我們新的主贊助商

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‪給我打起興致

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‪好喔

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‪凱文，我去幫你拿槍

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‪讓你配子彈吞下去

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‪肉在嘴裡不能馬上嚼爛

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‪你們可能得自己決定

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‪什麼時候要吞下去

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‪嘿，妳有空嗎？

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‪我不想談假牛排

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‪當然，沒人想談

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‪吃起來跟水窪裡撿起來的OK繃一樣

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‪他們是我們的贊助商
‪你得讓大家認同

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‪我們是大蹄烤肉

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‪我們的商標是一頭公牛，好嗎？

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‪我們的粉絲叫做“狂粉”

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‪現在要叫做什麼？

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‪-一片香菇田要怎麼稱呼？
‪-菇菇

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‪妳有聽到自己說的話多荒謬嗎？

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‪菇菇？那才不是賽車隊

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‪那是妳奶奶早上叫妳起床時

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‪學雞叫的聲音

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‪這或許不算完美，但公司很興奮

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‪但我們車隊並不興奮

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‪聽著，到時候妳會一個頭兩個大

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‪因為傑克賣不出這種東西

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‪那你就頭大了，因為他明天要拍廣告

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‪我不敢確定這樣好嗎

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‪你最好確定一下

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‪他得到場，做出完美表現

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‪他沒辦到的話，就是你的錯

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‪我們還沒說完耶

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‪已經完了

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‪現在才說完

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‪盧，別盯了，我們已講過這點了

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‪打得真好

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‪你好像被雷射筆耍到生氣的貓

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‪你先坐下，傑克，我有話跟你說

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‪是關於假牛排的事

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‪原來那不是開玩笑的

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‪大蹄有什麼不好？

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‪東西很好吃啊

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‪我隨便去哪間分店都能免費用餐

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‪而且我不是未滿13歲

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‪但那只是幾家餐廳

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‪這是全國性廣告

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‪大家都會知道你是誰

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‪對，成為假肉代言人

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‪是假肉界的凱迪拉克

140
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‪M&Ms在凱爾布許代言前算酷嗎？

141
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‪對，M&Ms一直都很讚

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‪只融你口不融你手

143
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‪根本就是魔法

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‪重點是這樣

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‪我也不想用假牛排，我受不了他們

146
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‪但你知道嗎？

147
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‪我們一定行，我們要盡力發揮

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‪我告訴你，讓這張臉上電視？

149
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‪那還得了

150
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‪-是啦，這的確是張帥臉
‪-就是說啊

151
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‪我都怕你會被好萊塢搶走了

152
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‪好吧，我姑且聽聽

153
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‪講完了，我的說詞只有這樣

154
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‪-是全國性廣告？
‪-對

155
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‪-他們會要我脫上衣嗎？
‪-不會

156
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‪好吧，不脫我也拍

157
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‪你去哪了？他們就快開拍了

158
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‪-你打開我車子的引擎蓋？
‪-對

159
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‪我覺得這樣當背景會好看

160
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‪所以就向導演提議

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‪他說隨便我，我就開了

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‪阿米爾，我這麼說好了

163
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‪我就像不想分享祕方的廚師

164
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‪因為他有一些原料是違法的

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‪好，如果我們被抓到，廚師會有麻煩

166
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‪不會，因為廚師已做好計畫
‪要嫁禍給服務生

167
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‪我們還是關上引擎蓋好了

168
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‪好，隨便

169
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‪得到授權了

170
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‪我們先從車開始，然後再拍車手

171
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‪-你在安排鏡頭？
‪-對

172
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,374
‪我想也是，我以前也是演藝圈的

173
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‪主要是選美活動

174
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‪1991年度梅克倫堡縣小姐向你問好

175
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‪好了，開始吧，明星登場

176
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‪謝謝，但我不是明星

177
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‪我只是個無比成功的菁英運動員

178
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‪而且十分願意脫掉上衣

179
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,721
‪好，這會非常容易

180
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‪你只要站在車前

181
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‪吃一口假牛排，然後說

182
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‪“盒子上寫是假的”

183
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,099
‪“但吃起來就是牛排味”

184
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‪我都起雞皮疙瘩了

185
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‪表現得很棒，傑克

186
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‪但結尾要笑，寶貝

187
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‪沒露牙齒就沒有后冠

188
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‪好了，這樣應該就可以了

189
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‪開麥拉，傑克

190
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,369
‪這句話通常是由我說的

191
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‪等他說開麥拉就開始

192
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‪對，很好

193
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‪開麥拉

194
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‪爛！

195
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‪卡！

196
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‪-交給我來處理
‪-卡！

197
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‪兄弟，剛才的表現

198
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‪非常棒，只有一點要注意

199
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‪或許試著別表現出討厭的樣子

200
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‪超難吃的

201
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‪我懂，我現在還在為昨天那一口作嘔

202
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,064
‪但你會假裝吧？

203
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,067
‪有點像是…

204
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,608
‪記得上次貝絲在嘗試有機體香劑

205
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‪我們都告訴她聞不出差別嗎？

206
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‪-就那麼辦
‪-喂

207
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‪我告訴妳，塗蜂蠟在腋下根本沒用

208
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,619
‪開始吧

209
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,789
‪-你可以嗎？
‪-可以

210
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:40,710
‪好

211
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,288
‪-可以換我嗎？
‪-當然可以，你表現得很好

212
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,294
‪謝謝

213
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,205
‪開麥拉

214
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,714
{\an8}‪盒子上寫是假的，但…

215
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,257
‪你得喊卡了，抱歉

216
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,010
‪-我還沒說完台詞
‪-你沒放進嘴裡就發出品嚐聲

217
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,804
‪是你說假裝喜歡就好的

218
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,426
‪對，但你還沒吃過

219
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,637
‪你明明知道我吃過了

220
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,814
‪但是看廣告的人不知道

221
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,318
‪-你突破盲點了
‪-好

222
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,736
‪可以從頭來嗎？開始拍吧

223
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,528
‪-太棒了，開麥拉
‪-好

224
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,830
‪不行，卡，不…

225
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,041
‪你“啊”的樣子好像是感到很清涼

226
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,250
‪-對
‪-不對，這不是檸檬水，這是吃的

227
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,422
‪那…

228
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,964
‪那樣接近多了，就是那個表情

229
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,094
‪-知道嗎？攝影機繼續拍
‪-我知道了

230
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,211
‪從來就沒停過

231
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,167
‪-好
‪-好

232
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,546
‪開麥拉

233
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:37,757
{\an8}‪拜託

234
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,097
‪-剛才是怎樣？你在搞什麼？
‪-我不知道

235
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,433
‪你好像勞勃狄尼洛

236
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,099
‪不對

237
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,730
‪你看起來好像猶豫不決

238
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,654
‪加油，我們好好拍吧

239
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,693
‪你的摩托車發出的聲音是怎樣？

240
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,947
‪就是這個，留在二檔

241
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,741
‪開始拍，就是二檔

242
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,408
‪他們開始火大了

243
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,414
‪他們說了什麼？

244
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,077
‪“我們開始火大了”

245
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,832
‪開麥拉吧

246
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,251
{\an8}‪盒子上寫是牛排

247
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,166
{\an8}‪但這牛排味是假的

248
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,095
‪盒子上寫是牛排

249
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,555
‪但這牛排味是假的

250
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,272
‪還是講錯

251
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,822
‪要我就不會太擔心

252
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,819
‪等剪輯完成，就絕對沒問題

253
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,441
‪我不會看起來一臉蠢樣嗎？

254
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,608
‪你看起來會很帥的

255
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,373
‪你知道扮演索爾的人嗎？
‪克里斯漢斯沃？

256
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,278
‪知道

257
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,203
‪他其實是侏儒

258
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,542
‪什麼？

259
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,794
‪那是拍攝技巧，他們讓他靠近鏡頭

260
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,752
‪其他人都站得遠遠的

261
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,423
‪-不可能吧！
‪-非常神奇

262
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,304
‪妳知道克里斯漢斯沃是侏儒嗎？

263
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,759
‪-誰說的？
‪-我說的

264
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,839
‪好讓傑克對廣告演出好過一點

265
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,304
‪喔，對啊，他超小隻的

266
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:01,965
‪這裡是在幹嘛？

267
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,814
‪現在不是時候，布雷尼

268
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,849
‪我只是想介紹我的好兄弟柯爾卡斯特

269
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,943
‪你們通常都是看到他的後腦勺

270
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,688
‪因為他們在賽道上一向都落後我

271
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,690
‪我知道，柯爾，所以我才會那麼說

272
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,069
‪謝謝你過來問好，萊恩布雷尼

273
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,859
‪介意我們盯著你唇上的東西
‪看看它會不會變蝴蝶嗎？

274
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,163
‪這句好笑，老兄

275
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,003
‪對了，那個盒子裡有什麼？

276
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,499
‪贊助商品耶，讚

277
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,170
‪你們離開後送來的

278
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,618
‪是假牛排的新商品

279
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,091
‪那是公羊嗎？

280
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,089
‪那是我腳趾頭還沒醫好前的樣子

281
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,917
‪長得就像蘑菇和牛的愛的結晶

282
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,128
‪超醜的結晶

283
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,054
‪我千辛萬苦打造一輛車
‪就為了在引擎蓋上貼這個？

284
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,888
‪我知道這很爛
‪但我們的薪水是引擎蓋贊助商出的

285
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,226
‪我才不要戴這個

286
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,270
‪聽著，當賽車手不是為了車上的貼紙

287
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,734
‪而是為了上賽道

288
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,694
‪所以你才會在凌晨4點起床練習

289
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,855
‪我不是早起的人

290
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:57,782
‪好啦

291
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,907
‪重點是你很有才華

292
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,369
‪你坦坦蕩蕩

293
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,909
‪你不會想太多，只會想著要贏

294
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,543
‪我很愛你這一點

295
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,830
‪別管那些有的沒的，你絕對辦得到

296
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,834
‪好吧，我或許辦得到

297
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,536
‪那不是《霹靂男兒》的台詞嗎？

298
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,836
‪對，要是這些話行不通

299
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,549
‪他就會抄《豪情好傢伙》的演講

300
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,379
‪把其中的美式足球換成車

301
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,764
‪請告訴我那是你的新贊助商

302
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,142
‪對，他們給了我們一大筆錢

303
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,642
‪要你們戴那頂帽子一定要給不少

304
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,270
‪祝你好運

305
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,846
‪-我辦不到
‪-你當然辦得到

306
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:34,768
‪別聽他們的

307
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,475
‪當我和布雷尼衝過賽道時

308
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:37,975
‪觀眾會為誰歡呼？

309
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,277
‪是熱蘑菇肉？

310
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,530
‪還是金錢獅？

311
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:42,491
‪金錢和獅子？

312
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,821
‪根本是兩大最棒東西

313
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,528
‪我會選蘑菇肉

314
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,537
‪因為獅子會攻擊你

315
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,659
‪不信去問馴獅二人組

316
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,995
‪攻擊他們的是老虎

317
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,330
‪你是在幫倒忙，查克

318
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,339
‪我每次出賽都感到自己會贏

319
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,956
‪我現在沒那種感覺了

320
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,804
‪這個凱瑟琳從第一天就找我麻煩

321
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,054
‪她一直找每個人麻煩

322
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,394
‪首先我們得為已經拿到手的工作面試

323
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:09,350
‪然後她又不說一聲就換掉贊助商

324
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,729
‪我當年可是頂季系列賽的年度新秀

325
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,404
‪還上了《運動畫刊》的封面

326
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,526
‪親愛的，那是我們在遊樂園做給你的

327
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,188
‪對喔

328
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:23,650
‪聽著

329
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,573
‪我一直都信任你

330
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,866
‪只要你說我該做，我就照做

331
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,620
‪但你以前也是賽車手，你也懂

332
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,962
‪你如果對自己沒信心
‪還會上車參賽嗎？

333
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,080
‪不會

334
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,497
‪那你為何覺得我就該做？

335
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,749
‪如果你不相信自己

336
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,088
‪那我們就不可能贏

337
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,838
‪大家把帽子脫掉

338
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,473
‪放進盒子裡

339
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,310
‪-查克，你喜歡燒東西吧？
‪-超級喜歡

340
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,389
‪把這些處理掉

341
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,733
‪-沒問題
‪-你要去哪？

342
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,228
‪我要解決這個問題
‪我要把大蹄找回來

343
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,481
‪告訴妳，假牛排就是個笑話
‪那個商標醜透了

344
00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,694
‪那個廣告丟人現眼

345
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:00,983
‪-但你說…
‪-我說謊

346
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,736
‪克里斯漢斯沃身高190公分

347
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,284
‪昨天的拍攝順利嗎？

348
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,873
‪根本是一場災難

349
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,539
‪但你及時趕到拯救了一切

350
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,708
‪沒有，我也身處那場災難之中

351
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,629
‪自己也在受難要怎麼及時趕到？

352
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:22,343
‪我沒說清楚這件事有多重要嗎？

353
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,091
‪妳說得很清楚了，所以我也會仿效妳

354
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,844
‪假牛排一定得走

355
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,263
‪不行

356
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,764
‪我不是想要否決妳

357
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:30,845
‪那還真令人鬆了口氣

358
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,060
‪只是那不是適合北美房車賽的產品

359
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,520
‪我知道妳是一片好心

360
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,140
‪但我很有一套，好嗎？

361
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,147
‪我會打給大蹄，找羅伯談談

362
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,559
‪盡一切努力挽回他們

363
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,768
‪喔，凱文…

364
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,609
‪我厭倦這場爭執了

365
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:45,953
‪我們坐在假牛排獨木舟中

366
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,148
‪沿著河往下划

367
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,737
‪你要不就是拿把槳跟我一起划

368
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,873
‪不然就是離開獨木舟

369
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,870
‪槳上面也有那個蠢商標嗎？

370
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,832
‪有喔

371
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,079
‪那我告訴妳

372
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,620
‪這裡不是只有一艘獨木舟

373
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,627
‪我說的獨木舟是指其他車隊

374
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:01,709
‪我知道

375
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,674
‪那是我的譬喻

376
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,133
‪那我給妳個屁喻

377
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,174
‪我要下舟了

378
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:11,848
‪你解決了嗎？

379
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,756
‪就某種意義上來說

380
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:15,104
‪解決了

381
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,272
‪那就是沒解決

382
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,520
‪我讓情形變得更糟了

383
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:22,609
‪你們想為更大更強的車隊效力嗎？

384
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,900
‪你要怎麼讓我們加入？

385
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,573
‪有件事我一直對你們保密，但是…

386
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,276
‪其實有很多大車隊想挖角我很久了

387
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,374
‪好幾年了

388
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,118
‪凱文，這件事你從來就沒保密過

389
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,120
‪你隨時都會拿出來吹噓

390
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,825
‪好吧

391
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,253
‪但我過去都一直回絕

392
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,501
‪今天我要答應了

393
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,383
‪因為如果在自己一手建立的房子裡
‪都不能得到尊敬

394
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,802
‪那我們就得擇木而棲了

395
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,470
‪這樣好嗎？聽起來風險很高

396
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,764
‪我什麼時候讓你們失望過了？

397
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,393
‪三分鐘前，你說會把贊助商找回來

398
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,430
‪卻沒有辦到

399
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,675
‪好吧，除了那個以外

400
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,556
‪你說不會跟我媽約會的那次

401
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,147
‪我們是去吃必勝客

402
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,398
‪而且我跟她沒戲唱

403
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,654
‪那我在傑克森維被捕的那次呢？

404
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,783
‪我說的不是小事，好嗎？

405
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,280
‪我在拘留所待了三天耶

406
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,573
‪我現在就走出那扇門

407
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,026
‪幫我們找一支更好的車隊

408
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,276
‪我現在就去找

409
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,042
‪我還染上肝炎耶

410
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,462
‪夠了，這太扯了

411
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:26,666
‪有什麼事嗎？

412
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,011
‪有

413
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,301
‪先等我一下

414
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:32,723
‪因為樓梯太多階了

415
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,886
‪我從來沒有氣著衝上來

416
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,677
‪天啊

417
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,024
‪請隨便坐

418
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,475
‪妳知道凱文現在在外面…

419
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,483
‪對不起

420
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,650
‪我真以為我有辦法站起來繼續說了

421
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:50,742
‪我要喝水

422
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,872
‪不好意思，我絕對不可能去撿

423
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,001
‪再丟一罐

424
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,373
‪我猜妳跟凱文談過了

425
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,126
‪我不想要他離開

426
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,459
‪但他如果離開
‪外頭優秀的維修組長多得是

427
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,220
‪不像他那樣

428
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,392
‪妳真以為他會一個人離開嗎？

429
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,351
‪只要他找到新工作，大家都會走

430
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:20,311
‪那是不可能的

431
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,730
‪凱文不可能在週日前就組好一支車隊

432
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,890
‪他沒那個必要

433
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,057
‪妳這週末必須去印城出賽

434
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:28,186
‪除非妳會打造賽車，又會自己開

435
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,283
‪否則就會是這支車隊
‪30年來第一次沒出賽

436
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,860
‪大家又不能隨便就辭職

437
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,276
‪可以喔

438
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,824
‪而妳要是沒出賽

439
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,077
‪就會放棄整個賽季的分數

440
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,949
‪有可能會賠掉特許執照

441
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:43,616
‪這有可能是巴比史賓瑟賽車的末日

442
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,616
‪絕對不會發生這種事

443
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,417
‪因為我有計畫

444
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,631
‪-什麼計畫？
‪-祕密

445
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,005
‪不過是非常好的計畫

446
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,390
‪等我告訴妳，妳就會說

447
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,142
‪“哇”

448
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,393
‪抱歉失陪了，我得把計畫付諸行動

449
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:07,145
‪我先坐這裡等脈搏聲安靜下來再說

450
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:11,938
‪（史都華哈斯賽車）

451
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:12,855
‪馬克

452
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,323
‪-凱文，好久不見
‪-對啊

453
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,414
‪我剛好要去店裡

454
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,489
‪買點美味的史密斯菲爾德培根

455
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,906
‪我每次都忘記他們是你家的贊助商

456
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,119
‪世界真小

457
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,666
‪你來拜訪應該跟巴比退休無關吧？

458
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,380
‪沒有

459
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:31,838
‪沒關係

460
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,011
‪但巴比要退休了

461
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,472
‪據說史都華哈斯要組第四車隊

462
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,682
‪你們需要維修組長

463
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,011
‪你知道我很欣賞…

464
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,716
‪而且你不會只挖到我

465
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,386
‪而是所有人都能挖過來

466
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:45,394
‪我整支團隊都會來

467
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,643
‪希望你喜歡香檳的味道

468
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,728
‪因為你以後會在慶功宴上常喝

469
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,898
‪我戒酒三年了

470
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:57,740
‪我無法及時戒酒挽救婚姻

471
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,661
‪或挽回我的親子關係

472
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,080
‪但多虧上帝保佑

473
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,199
‪我現在加入戒酒計畫了

474
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,252
‪阿們

475
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,706
‪凱文，你是很棒的維修組長

476
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:11,712
‪我很樂意僱用你

477
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,053
‪太棒了，我明天就來上班

478
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,418
‪不用多說毀了氣氛

479
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,799
‪真希望你能早點來找我

480
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,092
‪我告訴你我們的祕密

481
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,885
‪我們一直在作弊，每禮拜都作弊

482
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,925
‪聽著，時代不同了

483
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,684
‪你跟我都明白
‪賽車已經變得像是電玩遊戲

484
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,725
‪當我們跟贊助商說要請新維修組長

485
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,402
‪他們問的第一個問題

486
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,191
‪是這個人的工程學位哪裡拿的

487
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,654
‪你真的想要我為你的競爭對手效力？

488
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,855
‪你本來就是

489
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,407
‪我知道，不過是再換一個

490
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,532
‪你到哪家車隊都會聽到一樣的話

491
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,538
‪你我這種人是恐龍

492
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,710
‪你是說食物鏈頂端的恐龍？

493
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,341
‪巨牙、短手？

494
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,250
‪甩尾打人？

495
00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:59,420
‪不是

496
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,965
‪是絕種了

497
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:05,642
‪我建議你用那兩隻小手
‪緊緊抓住現在這份工作

498
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,518
‪要是我已經放開了呢？

499
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,556
‪那我會說你是犯了大錯

500
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,397
‪好吧，看來就這樣了

501
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,154
‪好吧

502
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,107
‪等一下，凱文

503
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,237
‪我不能讓你就這樣離開

504
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,369
‪謝謝你，馬克

505
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,001
‪這裡是2公斤培根的優惠券

506
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,923
‪試試看脆蜜口味，好吃得沒天良

507
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:43,892
‪-你回來了
‪-嗯

508
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,051
‪今天真夠扯的，對吧？

509
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,098
‪對啊

510
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,808
‪我們可以談一下嗎？

511
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,391
‪聽我說，我欠你一個道歉

512
00:21:58,817 --> 00:21:59,937
‪沒錯

513
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,124
‪我們都對車隊很投入

514
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,238
‪情緒激動了起來

515
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,492
‪你有一輩子的經驗

516
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:11,077
‪我卻一直傻傻地沒去重視

517
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:12,963
‪這種事不會有第二次了

518
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,040
‪要妳這麼說一定很不容易

519
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,285
‪但該說的還是得說

520
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,014
‪我接受妳的道歉

521
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,219
‪我知道你找過其他車隊老闆了

522
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,684
‪大概已經拿到一大堆邀約

523
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,761
‪沒錯

524
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,351
‪把血滴進水裡，鯊魚馬上都擠過來

525
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:35,349
‪好

526
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,814
‪換贊助商是大事

527
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,278
‪我不該到最後一刻才告訴你和傑克

528
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,859
‪這支車隊是我的，但也是你的

529
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,985
‪當然不是平分，主要是我的

530
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,663
‪所以薪水是我發的，你只負責收

531
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,661
‪但車隊也是你的

532
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,791
‪很好，我再打給大蹄，要他們回來…

533
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,581
‪車隊其實不是你的

534
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,674
‪聽著，大蹄已經走了

535
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,341
‪我們簽了新合約，老闆是我朋友

536
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:02,049
‪所以如果假牛排會讓你撕破臉
‪一定要走人的話…

537
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,630
‪先等一下

538
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,262
‪妳幹嘛直接說成撕破臉？

539
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,433
‪根本就不到撕破臉的程度

540
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,352
‪我不會

541
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:10,809
‪我也不會

542
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:11,809
‪沒有誰的臉會撕破

543
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:14,100
‪-我完全同意
‪-好

544
00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:19,731
‪不過我們也許可以說

545
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:23,985
‪傑克不必幫產品拍廣告

546
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,069
‪抱歉，他一定得拍

547
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,334
‪好吧

548
00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:36,831
‪他會拍，但不穿上衣

549
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:37,745
‪他一定得穿上衣

550
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,343
‪我其實不在意穿不穿

551
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,796
‪他應該也不在意

552
00:23:42,879 --> 00:23:45,799
‪但他不用吃產品，我堅決這個立場

553
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:48,182
‪不行，他一定得吃，沒有其他可能了

554
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,510
‪看來也是，我不堅持了

555
00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,098
‪看來這樣就說定了吧？

556
00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,805
‪談判就是這樣進行，互相傷害一下

557
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:01,767
‪我覺得很不錯

558
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,607
‪所以我們是要握手約定嗎？

559
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:04,652
‪還是抱一下談和？

560
00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:05,824
‪開雙槍離開？

561
00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:08,032
‪你可以直接出去，順便把門帶上

562
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:10,823
‪好，我就把這對槍放回去了

563
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:18,620
‪我們已經有另一支車隊以備不時之需

564
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,497
‪但我有個不太一樣的想法

565
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:25,545
‪要是我們留在巴比史賓瑟賽車
‪又幫假牛排宣傳如何？

566
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:26,880
‪這是另一條路

567
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,625
‪找工作失敗了？

568
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:32,007
‪記得藍迪強森投球丟爆鳥的那次嗎？

569
00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,175
‪記得

570
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:34,263
‪我就是那隻鳥

571
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,096
‪我研究過假牛排

572
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:40,515
‪我得告訴你們，那是很重要的產品

573
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,024
‪-真的假的？
‪-別鬧了

574
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:46,487
‪我跟你說，植物性蛋白質是未來趨勢

575
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,648
‪我本來還不知道大猩猩只吃蔬菜

576
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,618
‪卻是地球上最壯的動物

577
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:53,739
‪知道大猩猩可可

578
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,735
‪-他比的第一個手語是啥嗎？
‪-她是母的

579
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:57,077
‪好啦

580
00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:01,079
‪他會比的第一個手語

581
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,416
‪明明想選什麼字都行

582
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:04,632
‪知道他比了什麼嗎？

583
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:05,751
‪他比了蘑菇

584
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:07,837
‪不可能，凱文，這不可能是真的

585
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,973
‪是真的，我看過相關紀錄片

586
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:10,880
‪-真假？
‪-真的

587
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:13,427
‪是摩根弗里曼主持，所以一定是真的

588
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,802
‪-我相信他
‪-不對，等等

589
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,345
‪可可的第一個字其實是愛

590
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:18,772
‪好啦，那就是第二個字

591
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:19,850
‪-反正又不重要
‪-不對

592
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,845
‪-凱文，第二個字是朋友
‪-不是

593
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,857
‪我來告訴你第三個字是什麼，好嗎？

594
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,650
‪那看起來很像蘑菇

595
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:28,573
‪對，很像蘑菇，不過其實是拳頭

596
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:31,492
‪總而言之，重點是

597
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,367
‪改採健康的生活方式
‪對我們來講也不算太差吧

598
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:37,830
‪我們都應該開始吃好一點，同意嗎？

599
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:38,751
‪-同意
‪-當然

600
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,328
‪-對吧
‪-好了，你們要點什麼？

601
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:42,374
‪我要肉醬漢堡

602
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:44,788
‪-手撕豬肉
‪-炸雞

603
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,046
‪-肉卷
‪-你們還有肉丸吃到飽嗎？

604
00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:49,168
‪-有
‪-先幫我們送幾桶上來

605
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,263
‪嘿，是我的廣告耶

606
00:25:58,473 --> 00:25:59,603
‪盒子上寫是假的

607
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:02,143
‪但吃起來就是牛排味

608
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,147
‪北美房車賽巨星傑克馬汀
‪你說對吧？

609
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,359
‪對

610
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,648
{\an8}‪（假牛排）

611
00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:14,413
‪我懂，小子

612
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,784
‪我看起來帥呆了

613
00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:17,724
‪字幕翻譯：韓仁耀