Go on, tear it up.
Oh, my God. I love them.
- Yay. - They're so cool.
Well, we got the idea for 'em when you sent us that email saying,
"Buy us these exact trainers."
- Thank you. - Happy birthday, my love.
- We love you. - Thanks.
- I'm gonna go try 'em on. - Happy birthday.
Yes, go on.
"Happy birthday. Regards, Jason."
You know my policy. You choose a phrase, you stick with it your whole life.
No exceptions.
See, you save yourself hours of trouble doing that, trust me.
- So smart. - Yes, mate.
All right, then I am off to Barnet.
Oh, yeah. Your placement?
Yeah, I'm actually really looking forward to it.
- Yeah? - I'm so sick of all these textbooks.
I wanna get out there in the real world and actually make a difference.
- You know? - What's the case?
She is a woman with hoarding disorder.
Yeah, I mean, trust me, you give me an hour with her,
I'll have her house looking like a Danish architect's.
No, don't just barge in there thinking you can fix everything.
J, sometimes you move through the world in a very masculine way.
Thanks. That's kind.
Right.
Where is Vic? He's supposed to be giving Princess her first driving lesson.
I'm gonna give him a call, see where he is.
- Hello? - Hello, Victor Ross Handyman.
The number one rated handyman business in North London and West Essex.
- Who am I talking to? - This is Doreen speaking.
- All right, Doreen. Who are you, love? - I'm Victor's PA.
Yeah, so, we're… we're just… we're trying to get in contact with Vic, Doreen.
Yeah. Do you have our app?
Your app? No.
By far the easiest way to contact us is through the app.
- Right. Okay. - All right. Okay.
I'll just pop you on hold.
- Thanks, Doreen. - What is happening?
- What do you think? - Yeah.
- Lovely. - They're nice, aren't they?
- Granddad said he's just parking the car. - How've you gotten on the phone to him?
- I'm on… I'm on hold. - Yeah, you gotta go through the app.
- Obviously. - Unbelievable.
He's here.
Oh, yeah. Completely forgot about this.
Kerry from the office is playing a gig this afternoon.
I mean, I'm sure it'll be rubbish,
but I should probably go and support Kerry.
- Yeah, lovely. I'm up for that, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
But you're not gonna be too busy with your work placement?
No. No, no, my placement…
- I should be finished by then. - Yeah?
Great.
- Hiya. - Yep, there he is.
- Who's this Doreen, then? - My PA?
Your PA? How long have you had a PA?
Well, I'm not sure of the exact start date,
but can you check with Doreen?
- No. - All right, let's just go.
Granddad, do you have time to take me to this beauty place after our lesson?
Me and Kat are getting birthday facials.
- Yeah, should be fine. - Thanks.
But you should run these things past Doreen.
I'm gonna shoot off myself.
- All right? - Listen.
If things change later and you can't make it, honestly, it's fine.
No, I wanna… I wanna go. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah.
You've been speaking so much about this Kerry, it'd be nice to meet her.
Put a name to a face, hey. All right.
- Love you. Bye, wish me luck. - Yeah, I love you. Bye.
Okay, so this is Harriet James. 73-year-old compulsive hoarder.
- Right. - Neighbors have complained
about the hygiene and fire risk.
This is our sixth visit. So, early days.
Okay, I've been really looking forward to this, I've got to say.
It is such a rewarding job.
Yeah, sometimes all I wanna do is sing.
Sorry.
Just before we go in.
If you've got any tips for me to help make me a better social worker,
I'd really appreciate it.
- If they offer you a drink… - Well…
- …ask for black coffee. Never milk. - No.
And watch the water boil.
- Watch it. - Yeah.
I won't write that down.
All right. So we'll be in and out.
'Cause I need to get back to Saving Lives on the Front Line.
Of course. Of course you do, yeah. Wow.
You're… You're amazing. I just… I just wanted to tell you that.
It's a reality show I'm watching on my phone about Australian firefighters.
- Yeah, sounds good. - Yeah.
Hello, Harriet, it's Chrissy again.
Yeah, I've got a man with me today.
What man? I don't want a man.
No, none of us do. But we make the best of it.
He's a bit of an eager beaver.
So at least he'll be at home with the damp.
- Shall I take my shoes off, Harriet? - No, best keep those on.
- Keep 'em on? - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. - Right, in we go.
- Yeah. - Thank you.
No, I'm coming in too, Harriet.
- No, thank you. - Harriet. Yeah, sorry. Excuse me.
Nikki!
- You okay? - Yeah.
I've just heard the lawyers are officially dropping Honduras as a destination.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
- Really thought it was a good idea. - You weren't to know.
Any word on the hostages?
We'll know more when the embassy opens.
- Right. - Hey, it was worth a go.
The botanical gardens are very nice.
- They are. - Yeah.
You're still up for coming later?
Yes. Yeah, yeah, of course.
- See you there. - Yeah, see you there.
Wouldn't miss it.
Has he gone?
Yeah.
- He was very angry, wasn't he? - Yeah.
People that angry really should not be on the road.
Well, he was on the pavement.
Not by the end.
- He was trying to avoid getting hit. - And he did.
I just feel like that should be everyone's main takeaway.
Okay, Kat still hasn't replied. I guess she'll just meet me in there.
Okay, well, I'll just wait here.
What, you're just gonna sit here?
- Yeah. - No, but we're…
we're getting facials and manicures.
We'll probably be, like, a couple of hours at least.
I'll be here.
Okay.
- Are you gonna put the radio on? - No.
- Well, do you have a book? - No.
So you're just gonna sit here, staring ahead?
Yeah.
Are you sad?
I'm perfectly content.
Well, how am I supposed to enjoy myself
when I know that you're just out here staring?
Well, I put a satsuma in the glove box.
I'll have that in 40 minutes or so.
Well, that will break it up, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, babe, if I could just get your autograph
on this support plan here.
- No, I won't sign this. - Right you are.
In that case, if I could get you to sign this form,
confirming that you won't sign that form.
And then this one confirming that we've had this conversation.
All right.
There we are.
Thank you very much. All right, this is your copy. There you go.
- Thank you. - This is my copy.
All right. Okay.
So, enjoy the rest of your day.
Sorry, what's… what's happening?
Sorry, why… why are we leaving? We haven't done anything yet.
No, well, she didn't sign the form.
No, but what are we gonna do to get it all sorted out?
Once she refuses to sign two more times, we will offer therapeutic options,
which she will refuse.
And once we've exhausted that, we will document it all
along with an incident report and safeguarding judgment.
We will then devise a support plan,
a new one, and get that signed off by a supervising social worker.
Right. Okay.
Are we sure that all this stuff isn't just our forms?
Maybe this house was empty before we started coming.
Hey, look, let's go in there, have another go.
Hey, I've been reading lots of case studies about hoarders…
You have? Why didn't you say?
I'll just leave you to it then, shall I?
- And I'll head off. - No.
There is always a trauma at the heart of it.
And if we can figure out what that is, then we can help her.
Plus, I've just acclimatized to the smell.
And if we leave now, I'll have to get used to it again next time, so…
- No. - Harriet.
The Atlantic was never a place I could thrive.
You know, the ocean's a dead zone, culturally speaking.
But now you wanna cross a desert?
The Atacama, yes. On horseback.
Have you learned nothing?
Au contraire.
I failed to cross an ocean. What is the opposite of an ocean?
Will you stop just trying to cross things?
It's not gonna interfere with my leather work,
- if that's what you're worried about. - Okay, stop.
Scott, you have to just stop. I can't take it anymore.
I can't take any more projects. I have had enough.
What do you mean?
This isn't the way to the park, by the way.
I'm not taking you to the park.
I have a new project for you.
And I think that if you commit to it, fully commit to it,
it will improve the lives of the people around you in immeasurable ways.
What is it?
So, Scott, what brings you to therapy?
My wife.
Hello? There she is.
I'm still not signing your forms.
Let's forget about the forms, eh? Let's just…
have a little chat, shall we?
You and me, huh?
Look, I understand.
I know how tough this is. I really do, but…
He touched me! That's assault.
- Yeah, just getting a form-- - No more bloody forms!
It wasn't assault. Come on, you know it wasn't.
- I think you're in pain. - I am, yes!
No, not your hand. Emotional pain.
- Who is this twat? - He's… He's read a book.
Look, we're concerned that there are some issues, right?
As pertains to your health and well-being.
And when they're taken collectively, Harriet, along with some rather…
For the love of God, I'm 73. When will you people
- just get on with it? - You've got too much stuff in your house!
- Says who? - Well, your neighbor, for one.
Well, if it's that side, I'd like to complain about her.
She's huge, the woman.
I can't really get involved with that sort of thing, can we?
Why not? Talk about health and well-being.
Look, I'll tell you what… I'll tell you what.
Why don't we just clear a bit of a…
- a bit of gangway here, right? - Don't… I wouldn't…
So, I would feel a lot better leaving this place
knowing that if there was an emergency, then you'd be able to get in and out.
I'm just gonna put this here.
Okay.
All sorted, then?
Sorry, I just… I actually…
I need to take this. This is… I'll just be quick.
Hello?
Hi, it's me.
I'm just calling,
because I wanted to tell you something
before you meet Kerry.
Babe, sorry, I can't really talk.
But I don't think I'm going to be able to make the gig, I'm afraid.
Okay.
That's a shame.
How come? Is everything okay?
Taking slightly longer than I thought. Having a bit of a nightmare.
Oh, really? Like, no positives at all?
Well, Nelson Mandela's free.
And then I learned to fly the Cessna 172 Skyhawk,
which is a single-engine, fixed-wing aircraft.
And during that time, I discovered it only takes six weeks
to become a fully accredited scuba instructor, so--
And why do you think you did all this?
I mean, I've just… I've always had lots of hobbies.
That's just who I am.
And who is that, Scott? Who are you?
I think as you can probably tell, I am many things.
I… I am a poet. A sculptor.
I sculpt to NVQ standard, self-assessed.
- I-- - No, no, no. Not what you've done.
Who you are.
Because these projects, they feel like distractions.
And I wonder, what is it that you feel you need distracting from?
Could it be from yourself?
Myself?
From spending time with yourself. From being who you actually are.
And who is that?
You tell me.
I think there was a bit of a miscommunication.
- Did she forget? - No.
I think it was me. I forgot to text and remind her, so…
There are three kinds of people.
Well, immediately, I think there are more than that.
Some people are full car batteries,
you can rely on 'em.
Some people are empty car batteries,
and that's okay, 'cause you just avoid 'em.
The most dangerous people are the half-full batteries…
'cause they get your hopes up, you trust 'em,
and then they let you down when it really matters.
You end up stranded in the Brecon Beacons.
How are you supposed to know what sort of person a person is?
You ask yourself, "Would I go to the Brecon Beacons with you?"
You should have your own podcast.
Don't you start. I'm busy.
You should.
What's your skin care regime?
What do you use to wash your face?
I don't. I just let the shampoo run down over it.
Don't exfoliate too much.
I don't want to have to show ID when I pick up my free prescriptions.
There just comes a point when it gets too much.
You know, when the person's been suffering too long,
and you have to do something.
Yeah. No, I think this therapy's gonna be really good for me.
Right. And for Scott too?
- You what? - For--
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, for Scott too. - Yeah.
So, anyway, thank you. Thank you for inviting me.
Oh, yeah. That's all right.
It's actually… There's something that I need to tell you.
Hey! Nikki!
Hello!
Kerry, this is my sister Karen.
- Hey. - Hello.
Thanks for coming.
No, no, it's fine. Really looking at it…
Forward at it.
Looking forward to it.
I mean, I'm looking at it, and I'm forward at it…
Forward to it!
Truly.
What the hell was all that about?
I really fancy my colleague.
Brilliant.
You know, I just, I really thought it would pass, but it's been about a month.
- Has anything happened? - What? No!
No, of course it hasn't.
Sorry, are you disappointed?
- Well, I am a bit, yeah. - Karen!
Well, it would've been fun.
The only gossip I get these days is from Stevie,
and it's mainly about which kids still can't read.
I feel so guilty.
It is fine to browse.
You just can't sample.
But I would wear him right out the store.
Right, okay. That is absolutely not helping.
I think he likes me too, so it feels a bit dangerous.
God, I suddenly feel very married.
I've been trying to give myself the ick over him. It's…
It's really hard.
Yeah. He is very un-icky.
Can we just have one more go? Please?
There is a process to follow, and we have done all we can for today.
But none of these forms actually solve the problem though.
- Do they? - Yes, yes.
We all hate the bureaucracy.
But I've worked in places that don't have it,
and, trust me, you miss it when it's not there.
Plus, I am five minutes away from needing to use the toilet in this house,
and that is a nightmare scenario, so…
Thank you.
Chrissy, hang on a sec. Wait! Wait there. Hang on.
Look. These cases are like quicksand, all right?
You spread yourself across them evenly and lightly.
If you dig down too deep, you will sink.
- Can we at least do the bins? - What?
Let's take away the stuff that we know she doesn't want. What about that?
- All right, fine. - Come on.
All right.
- Where you going? - I'm getting the outdoor forms.
Oh, my God.
All right, everyone. Let's give a big hand for Kerry Howell.
Thanks for coming, everyone.
He's a friend of mine.
So, we are gonna start things off with a… a love song.
And it's called,
"Girl from the Office."
That's you.
When the world feels cold
I find my way
In the softest whispers that you say
Like the dawn
That breaks the night
You are my heart's most perfect light
Yo
I met her at her desk
She was looking real fine!
I said, "Wagwan, girl? We vibed with mice that time"
Squeak, squeak! She bosses things up
She manage Sales like a hammer But I play it cool
No pressure, no drama She had that vibe
You know, that queen-type glow
Nails on point, she got swagger…
He's actually more a friend of my sister's.
Head held high Never laying low
Boss chick energy
That's how she flow She bosses things up…
Harriet.
Hiya. Good news.
We're just gonna do your bins for you.
- Whose bins? - Your bins.
You can't take anything out of the house.
- You're not allowed. - No, this is on the driveway,
not in the house.
- Scuse me. - Where you going?
- Where's… - Just…
Harriet?
What's she…
Bloody hell. What's she playing at here?
Harriet. Come on!
Harriet, love. Look, we're going backwards here.
Please, look! I know, I get it.
I know you don't like us coming,
but if you don't work with us, then they're just gonna come here,
they're gonna take stuff, and probably you, out of here.
But if we can show that you're cooperating,
then I can hold them off.
Can you think of anything in here, anything at all,
that you wouldn't mind letting go?
Harriet, it can't just be a pen.
Come on. Something meaningful.
I signed my Colin out of hospital for the last time with this pen.
Two weeks before the end.
He just went so quickly.
Went right through him.
They weren't happy, but I wasn't having him die in there
when he could be here with all his things about him.
I see. These are all his things then.
Okay, all right. Right.
How long ago did he pass away?
- Eight years. - Eight years.
And just to be clear, he's not… he's not still--
Golders Green Crematorium.
God bless him.
- We were married 40 years. - Forty years? Wow.
There's a memory of him in everything.
Keep the pen. Keep it.
But if you can think of things that aren't important, that I can take away,
then I can help you keep hold of the things that are.
No. Take it.
I've been holding onto things too tightly.
- Like it's him. But it's not him. - No.
It's just a pen.
No one ever sees past all of this. No one ever sees me.
But you did.
Thank you.
Nah, it's… Thank you.
Hey, don't take it to heart, all right? The victories are gonna be small,
so you're just gonna have to learn to enjoy them.
I know. Yeah. I will.
Brilliant! Thought I lost that.
Fluorescent lights But you shine brighter
Office chair throne Ain't nothing tighter
Spin once slow Pull me into orbit
World on mute Don't need to force it
How's the ick?
Yeah, we're good.
And I've recorded it. You know, in case I forget.
Stuck in my brain…
Hello? Scott?
What you doing?
Why are you throwing away all your projects?
My life is a simulacrum.
Sorry, what does that mean?
A representation of something that has no original.
All this is a Scott I constructed out of thin air because…
I was scared.
Scared there wasn't a Scott underneath it that I would like.
But I've turned and faced myself.
And I am now simply "Scott."
Isn't that the name of the body-care range that you launched?
More simulacra.
I am now fully myself.
And my first words as myself are simply this:
"My love, I hope you like me."
I see you have broken him.
Yes. This is good. Easier now.
Hello!
Hiya.
How was your placement?
I think I might have been broken by the system.
- What, already? - Yeah.
It's only been half a day. You're not even qualified yet.
I'm not sure I'm cut out for it, Nik. I'm no Penny, let's put it that way.
Well, no.
Not yet. But you will be.
- Do you reckon? - Yeah.
I didn't fall in love with just anyone, you know.
- How are you? How was your night? - Amazing, perfect.
- It was exactly what I needed. - Yeah? Good, was she?
No! Dreadful. Terrible!
Literally, the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life.