1
00:00:03,062 --> 00:00:05,337
Danielle, your résumé
is very impressive.
2
00:00:05,564 --> 00:00:07,489
But we're not just
looking for a new baker,
3
00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:10,009
we're-we're looking for
a new member of the family.
4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,844
Oh, not me, I got
too much family.
5
00:00:12,071 --> 00:00:12,845
I need muffins.
6
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:14,329
(Kat chuckles)
7
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,681
See, Randi's the sassy
younger sister
8
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:17,741
and I'm the cool older sister
where you're like,
9
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:21,411
"She's valedictorian and makes
her own blue jeans? What?"
10
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,856
(laughs) So, would you be able
to work an early morning shift?
11
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:26,025
And more importantly,
if you were a bird,
12
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,509
what kind of bird would you be?
13
00:00:27,603 --> 00:00:30,437
Oh, what does that
have to do with this job?
14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,272
Well, I'm just trying
to learn more about her.
15
00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:34,107
We don't want to spend
day after day
16
00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,276
with someone who's so annoying.
17
00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:38,779
Yeah, I wonder what that
would be like.
18
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,207
I'm sorry, I don't understand
the bird question.
19
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:46,003
Ha. Looks like we got
ourselves a dodo.
20
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,605
So, Gideon,
21
00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:49,790
it says here you come from
22
00:00:49,942 --> 00:00:52,217
the second-largest Amish
community in Kentucky.
23
00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:56,204
It would have been the largest
if we believed in vaccines.
24
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,614
It also says here
25
00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:59,633
that the only other job
you've ever had is
26
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,118
"doing the Lord's work"?
27
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:05,455
Oh, it's 24-7, but I've got
the best boss ever.
28
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,791
So, what brings you
to Louisville?
29
00:01:07,884 --> 00:01:12,145
Well, I've lived in one place
my entire life and...
30
00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,073
I'm not sure I belong there.
31
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,634
The menfolk laugh at me,
the womenfolk ignore me.
32
00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:21,062
I mean, I'm 40,
I should be a grandpa by now.
33
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,157
Well, I get the "feeling
like you don't belong" thing.
34
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,809
When I was in high school,
35
00:01:25,828 --> 00:01:29,070
I tried to start a clique for
people who weren't in cliques.
36
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,480
Got squeezed out.
37
00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:32,591
Stupid Ashley and her eye patch.
38
00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:35,319
I swear it changed sides.
39
00:01:35,337 --> 00:01:37,321
Okay, well, thank you
for coming in.
40
00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:38,931
Wait, no, hang on, hang on.
41
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:41,082
If you were a bird...
42
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,176
what kind of bird would you be?
43
00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:45,270
I was thinking about that
this morning.
44
00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:48,273
I would be
the bluebird of happiness.
45
00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:50,334
Well,
tweedle-deedle-ding-dong-dee,
46
00:01:50,427 --> 00:01:52,444
that is the exact right answer!
47
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,520
You're in!
48
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,096
The running. (chuckles)
49
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:57,023
Do you have a number
where we can reach you?
50
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,433
Oh, well, I don't have a phone,
51
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,677
but how about you just
go outside and yell,
52
00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:01,954
"Ich hab en Kivvel"?
53
00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:05,440
It means "I have a bucket,"
but we'll get it.
54
00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:06,941
Yeah, we will.
55
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,352
-All right.
-Bye.
56
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,504
Well, good luck with
your other interviews.
57
00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:13,114
-He's perfect!
-What?
58
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:14,374
We've interviewed
over 20 people,
59
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,042
and that's who you want to hire?
60
00:02:16,195 --> 00:02:17,636
His story is beautiful.
61
00:02:17,787 --> 00:02:20,364
Growing up Amish, wondering
what else is out there,
62
00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:22,382
learning in this very café
five minutes ago
63
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,459
that women are allowed
to own businesses.
64
00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,370
Okay, so you remember
that woman Danielle
65
00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:29,039
who went to a culinary school
in Paris?
66
00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:30,298
Gideon's only reference
67
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,393
is a basket weaver
named Old Jebediah.
68
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:37,063
Randi, come on. I think I know
what he's going through.
69
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,473
I mean, just two years ago,
70
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,642
I decided I didn't want
to be a math professor
71
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,327
and I wanted to own a cat café.
72
00:02:42,554 --> 00:02:44,479
Yeah, and everyone
judges you for it.
73
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,665
Oh, please. Nobody judges me.
74
00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:47,958
Wha...?
75
00:02:52,898 --> 00:02:56,592
Okay, now I see why One-Eyed
Ashley squeezed your ass out.
76
00:02:57,753 --> 00:02:59,419
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
77
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,239
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
78
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:05,425
Max, do you find me attractive?
79
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,745
Once again, Sheila, I grazed
against you in that elevator,
80
00:03:08,838 --> 00:03:11,748
but it was an accident
and I'm dating your daughter.
81
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:13,266
It's just, there are three times
82
00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:15,176
as many women as men
at Valley Hills,
83
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:18,513
and even I'm having trouble
standing out from the crowd.
84
00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:22,776
All those hussies
with their new hips.
85
00:03:22,945 --> 00:03:24,277
Well, I think you're beautiful.
86
00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,705
And you and me have more
in common than you think.
87
00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:27,948
I'm retired, too.
88
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,857
You're unemployed.
89
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,210
Tomato, potato.
90
00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:33,620
Want to party in my Pontiac?
91
00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:35,047
Is there anyone
you're interested in?
92
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:38,275
I'm really hoping to get
to know this guy Rodrigo.
93
00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:41,327
Ooh, he's handsome, charming,
speaks Spanish.
94
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,629
I don't know, there's
something exciting
95
00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:46,058
about a man who
can roll his Rs.
96
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:51,713
(rolling Rs):
Burrito. In a Pontiac Fiero.
97
00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:53,974
Please move a chair away.
98
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,976
So why don't you ask
this Rodrigo out?
99
00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,570
I would if I could get
a moment alone with him.
100
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:00,797
He's always surrounded
by a bunch of women
101
00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:03,275
with visible diaper lines.
102
00:04:03,427 --> 00:04:04,968
You need to find
yourself a wingman.
103
00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,137
Someone who can distract
the competition
104
00:04:07,155 --> 00:04:08,080
so you can get closer to...
105
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:11,083
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
106
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:12,567
What are you doing?
107
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:13,585
It's like this.
108
00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:15,495
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
109
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,071
See? That easy.
110
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,984
(rolling Rs):
My Fiero is right outside.
111
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,077
(door opens)
112
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,988
-Hey, guys.
-CARTER: Hey.
-Hi.
113
00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:26,598
Well, the search is over,
114
00:04:26,825 --> 00:04:29,009
we finally found our new baker.
115
00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:30,102
This is Gideon.
116
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,012
-Hey.
-Hi, Gideon. Welcome.
117
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:34,697
Wow, my first bar.
118
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,775
And my second Black person.
119
00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,001
Excuse me?
120
00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:39,169
Amish.
121
00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,446
Oh. I loved you in Kingpin.
122
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,857
Gideon is on a journey
of self-discovery.
123
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,676
And as someone who recently
went through this myself,
124
00:04:46,678 --> 00:04:48,862
I am giddy to be his guide.
125
00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:50,938
(laughs) Hang on.
126
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:53,199
Giddy. Gideon.
127
00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:54,442
Did you do that on purpose?
128
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,036
Yeah, wordplay's
kind of my thing.
129
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,445
(both laughing)
130
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,525
Anyway, these are all
of my favorite people.
131
00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:03,242
Oh, and my mother.
132
00:05:03,395 --> 00:05:04,386
Whoa.
133
00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:07,139
You are so glamorous.
134
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:09,199
Are you a prostitute?
135
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:12,311
Aw, aren't you a dear?
136
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,146
♪ ♪
137
00:05:14,297 --> 00:05:17,707
Okay, that'll be $12.45.
138
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:18,892
Or if you're open to barter,
139
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,486
I would take a half cord
of wood or a haircut.
140
00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:24,047
I'm in. How do you feel
about a mullet?
141
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:25,882
Wait, no, no bartering,
no bartering.
142
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:27,050
Money is just fine.
143
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,902
What are you doing?
Let him cut his hair.
144
00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:31,388
Hold up, this cupcake
doesn't have any frosting on it.
145
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:34,407
Frosting is vanity,
and vanity is a sin.
146
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,243
So is drinking before noon,
but here we are.
147
00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:40,038
Gideon, frosting is not a sin.
148
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,824
Yeah, and-and I know your faith
is important to you,
149
00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:44,992
but these
bible-inspired cookies,
150
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:46,236
they're not really selling.
151
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,088
But they're scripture-doodles.
152
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:51,350
Well, they taste like
the cookies you get in hell.
153
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:53,093
Son of a biscuit.
154
00:05:53,245 --> 00:05:55,854
I am not good at this job.
155
00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:57,597
Old Jebediah is right,
156
00:05:57,674 --> 00:06:00,550
I don't learn nothing
without the switch.
157
00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:01,935
No, come on.
158
00:06:02,087 --> 00:06:04,604
No one expects you to get
everything right your first day.
159
00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:06,347
Look at me and the SATs.
160
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,016
It took me two tries
to get a perfect score.
161
00:06:09,185 --> 00:06:10,260
Actually, it only took one,
162
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,778
I'm just trying
to make him feel better.
163
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,020
Aw, shucks.
164
00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:14,355
You're just being nice.
165
00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:16,433
And you're just being too hard
on yourself.
166
00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:18,693
People like you and me,
we beat ourselves up.
167
00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,194
But we don't have to.
168
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:21,546
That's what Randi's for.
169
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,198
If you love what you do,
it's not a job.
170
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,444
Gosh it all to heck,
you're right.
171
00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:28,887
I'm gonna go back
to that kitchen
172
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:33,100
and make some dank cupcakes,
no cap, bitches.
173
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:37,954
What? You're not the only one
who can teach him things.
174
00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:40,565
(both chuckle)
175
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:43,960
You guys want a drink?
176
00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:46,554
Roy here makes
a mean White Russian
177
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,148
with vodka and Ensure.
178
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:51,225
I thought you said you needed us
to move a bunch of old bags.
179
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,245
Yes, they're over there.
180
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:58,250
Move them away from Rodrigo.
181
00:06:58,326 --> 00:06:59,734
Start with Nancy.
182
00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:01,253
She's a little
too full of herself
183
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,663
since she went into remission.
184
00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:06,758
Wait, wait, did you bring us
here to be your wingmen?
185
00:07:06,985 --> 00:07:09,577
So that's why you asked
if I had Daisy Dukes.
186
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,172
Oh, if I still had a car,
you'd be washing it.
187
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,915
Sheila, we are not
pieces of meat.
188
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,583
Oh, speak for yourself.
189
00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:17,436
I like being objectified.
190
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,512
It feels nice.
191
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:23,758
Hey, I'm thinking about making
Gideon a dating profile.
192
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,002
Do you think it's safe to say
he's still a virgin?
193
00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,614
Girl, I wouldn't be surprised if
he's never seen himself naked.
194
00:07:29,841 --> 00:07:31,432
And why would you do that?
195
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,601
Well, because he said one of the
reasons he left his community
196
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,769
was to find love.
197
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:36,529
Plus he's the only person
I've ever met
198
00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:39,624
who could actually be
on Farmers Only.
199
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:43,378
-(grunting)
-(squishing)
200
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,801
Uh, I think he may need
a few minutes alone.
201
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,304
Gideon, are you churning butter?
202
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:55,307
Oh, we were running low,
so I thought I'd make some.
203
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,124
-Oh, you really
don't have to do that.
-No, hang on,
204
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,478
this is gonna kill
on Farmers Only.
205
00:08:00,889 --> 00:08:02,314
You're living in
a modern world now.
206
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:04,724
You don't have to churn
your own butter.
207
00:08:04,876 --> 00:08:07,393
Right, 'cause it's women's work.
208
00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:08,712
Here, Randi.
209
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,638
Oh, I'd advise you not
to hand me that stick.
210
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,398
What if I told you there's
211
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:16,143
a magical store that not only
sells already-churned butter
212
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,404
but everything else
you could possibly want?
213
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:23,335
Oh, there's a butter
and harmonica store?
214
00:08:23,486 --> 00:08:24,986
♪ ♪
215
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,130
Is this heaven?
216
00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:29,841
Better.
217
00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:32,093
It's Costco.
218
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,077
That was in the good old days
when you didn't
219
00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:43,429
get fired
for bagging a stewardess.
220
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,081
(laughter)
221
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:48,693
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot, Biden.
222
00:08:48,845 --> 00:08:49,919
(laughter)
223
00:08:49,938 --> 00:08:52,088
Oh, keep it in
your pants, Mindy.
224
00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:55,367
Your husband's not dead,
he's just napping.
225
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,351
CARTER:
Hello, ladies.
226
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,687
I didn't know that there
was a fox hunt today.
227
00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:01,998
Good thing I brought my guns.
228
00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:04,876
Ooh.
229
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:06,694
You two are new.
230
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,787
Do you work here?
231
00:09:08,106 --> 00:09:10,364
A friend invited us
to use the exercise room.
232
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,125
Anybody want to help us stretch?
233
00:09:12,277 --> 00:09:13,777
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
234
00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:18,448
Well, I'm gonna stretch you in
places you never knew you had.
235
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:19,599
(laughter)
236
00:09:21,303 --> 00:09:23,044
Oh.
237
00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:25,546
Hello, Rodrigo.
238
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:29,067
I'm so happy to finally
get a moment with you.
239
00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:30,718
I'm Sheila Silver.
240
00:09:30,812 --> 00:09:31,886
I know who you are.
241
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:33,813
They should call you
Centrum Silver
242
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,316
because you got everything
a man might need.
243
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,578
Well, and they should
call you Danish.
244
00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:42,989
Kind of sweet, kind of cheesy.
245
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:44,398
(laughing)
246
00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:47,085
♪ ♪
247
00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:51,164
Kat? Gideon?
248
00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:54,651
Ooh. Ichabod Evel Knievel!
249
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,261
Randi. Randi. Can I get these?
250
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,579
-No.
-Oh, um, can I get this?
251
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,391
-Fine.
-Okay, good, because
I already opened it.
252
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:04,177
-Look what I got!
-Whoa!
253
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:08,255
Gideon, I am your father.
254
00:10:09,258 --> 00:10:12,685
I don't know what's happening
right now, but I love it!
255
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,931
Okay, now I see why
my mama drank so much.
256
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,100
♪ ♪
257
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,178
Ooh, I'm gonna get this
for Carter.
258
00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:24,122
His son buys him cologne
for Father's Day
259
00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:26,124
so he wears Iron Man by Marvel.
260
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:28,351
Gideon, you should try it.
261
00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:30,036
You want me to change my scent?
262
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,779
How will my animals know me?
263
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,023
This is why you left
your community,
264
00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:35,875
to experience new things.
265
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,785
Remember you were nervous
about trying out
266
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,304
that revolving door at first?
267
00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:42,140
Then it turned out to be
the best two hours of your life.
268
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,685
Aw, heck, spray me!
269
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:52,058
Shuck my corn and call me
a good boy, I smell amazing.
270
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,545
Who's not hardy enough to be
your husband now, Agatha?
271
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,563
No cap, bitches.
272
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:58,731
Did I use that right?
273
00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,899
Yes.
274
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,978
Whoa. Does the president
of Costco live here?
275
00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:05,571
Pretty sweet, huh?
276
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,982
Oh, and I know these are frowned
upon in your community,
277
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,627
but check this out: zippers.
278
00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,630
You want to give it a whirl?
279
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,676
I'm glad my first
time is with you.
280
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:21,513
-Ah!
-Uh-huh.
281
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:26,910
What the hell am I doing?
I drove here.
282
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:29,521
♪ ♪
283
00:11:35,937 --> 00:11:37,620
(zipper opens)
284
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,255
What are you doing?
285
00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:41,700
What do you mean? I'm going pee.
286
00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:44,202
What are you doing?
287
00:11:44,353 --> 00:11:46,930
Come on, man, it's basic
men's room etiquette.
288
00:11:46,948 --> 00:11:47,947
You need a buffer.
289
00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:50,191
It goes dude, urinal, dude.
290
00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:52,544
Respect the buffer.
291
00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:54,604
What are you hiding?
292
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:55,955
Now I want to see.
293
00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:56,956
You know what?
294
00:11:57,108 --> 00:11:58,550
Forget it, now I can't go.
295
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,885
You and I were just about
to get into a hot tub
296
00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,870
with 78-year-old twins,
297
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,038
and now you shy?
298
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:05,515
(toilet flushes)
299
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,393
-Crazy party, huh?
-Yeah.
300
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:10,895
Can't believe it went
all the way to 6:30.
301
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,046
CARTER:
Yeah.
302
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,306
When Jeopardy! came on,
303
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,216
they scattered like
the cops showed up.
304
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,569
Yeah, you guys did
really well tonight.
305
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:18,886
Little tip.
306
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,906
When Gladys takes out
her teeth, it's game on.
307
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,983
-Yikes.
-Hot.
308
00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,559
Man, you've got some moves.
309
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,820
We saw you talking to
that beautiful redhead.
310
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,306
Yeah, we got a date
tomorrow night.
311
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:32,900
Well, good for you, man.
She seems really cool.
312
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,827
Yeah, we were talking
to her earlier.
313
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,479
Funny. Smart.
314
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:37,997
I think she's
girlfriend material.
315
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:39,649
Girlfriend?
316
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:43,428
Nah, that's not the way
Rodrigo rolls.
317
00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:47,432
I don't know about that guy.
318
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,602
He gives off a weird
1970s cop show vibe.
319
00:12:50,753 --> 00:12:52,178
Yeah, he's kind of a player.
320
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,180
But Sheila's really into him.
321
00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:56,107
Yeah.
322
00:12:58,261 --> 00:13:00,169
I don't trust you.
323
00:13:01,006 --> 00:13:03,740
See? Now I know you
hiding something.
324
00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:06,192
♪ ♪
325
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,269
Now, tell me the truth.
326
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,529
Do you like big butts?
327
00:13:09,697 --> 00:13:11,272
And you cannot lie.
328
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,516
Hey, shake what your mama
gave you.
329
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:15,034
All right.
330
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:19,372
Check it out! Kat in the hat!
331
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,524
I told you, you should've
gotten one.
332
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:24,302
Yeah, I feel real stupid
sitting here like this.
333
00:13:24,453 --> 00:13:27,806
I am so glad you talked me
into this.
334
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:29,140
I feel so free.
335
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:32,126
Zippers, snaps, back pockets?
336
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:33,369
I'm out of control!
337
00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:35,462
I know! And it's so comfortable.
338
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,149
Is this why Snoop Dogg
is always so chill?
339
00:13:38,376 --> 00:13:40,268
Yeah, it's the clothes.
340
00:13:40,378 --> 00:13:43,546
I think I'm ready to
do my first alcohol.
341
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:44,881
-(gasps)
-Are you sure?
342
00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:46,716
Because that pinot don't play.
343
00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,309
Excuse me, Captain Buzzkill.
344
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:50,403
Get a tracksuit, try to relax.
345
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:54,624
If it's good enough for Christ,
it's good enough for me.
346
00:13:59,898 --> 00:14:01,064
Whoa.
347
00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:02,065
That is good.
348
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:03,399
(laughing)
349
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,493
Okay, I'm ready
to do my first cocaine.
350
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,012
Oh, I don't think so.
351
00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:09,514
You had a root beer float
352
00:14:09,665 --> 00:14:11,240
and almost ran through
a plate glass window.
353
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,017
You know, I think
it's very brave
354
00:14:13,127 --> 00:14:15,761
the way you're just
going for all of it.
355
00:14:15,914 --> 00:14:17,671
When I was trying
to change my life,
356
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:19,858
I kept doubting myself.
357
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:21,508
I'm really proud of you.
358
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:25,438
So, I should just keep
going for it?
359
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,532
Absolutely.
360
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,019
Whoa, Gideon, stop.
361
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,596
I have a boyfriend.
362
00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:35,022
You met him.
363
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,709
Max? Tall, handsome, looks
like he could be an Avenger?
364
00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:40,103
His looks are not germane
to this conversation,
365
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:41,713
but I just can't help myself.
366
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:45,032
Oh, my gosh,
I am so embarrassed.
367
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:46,885
No, it's totally okay.
368
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,945
Yeah, everyone's done something
they regret while drinking.
369
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:51,556
I mean, I interviewed
at a cat café.
370
00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:53,449
-Really?
-Yeah, really?
371
00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:54,617
You were drunk?
372
00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:56,227
You're a great guy.
373
00:14:56,304 --> 00:14:57,544
I'm sure you're gonna
meet the right woman
374
00:14:57,639 --> 00:14:59,188
sooner than you think.
375
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:03,793
All right, simmer down,
Vanilla Ice.
376
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:04,644
Oh, no.
377
00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:06,571
I've ruined everything.
378
00:15:06,722 --> 00:15:09,056
No, Gideon, it's really not
a big deal.
379
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,057
Yeah, it's okay.
380
00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:11,242
I know what I look like.
381
00:15:11,469 --> 00:15:13,819
Of course you would
try to kiss me.
382
00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:15,496
Second.
383
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:19,566
I have brought shame
to my family.
384
00:15:19,661 --> 00:15:21,628
I do not deserve this tracksuit.
385
00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:25,239
Oh, no.
386
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:26,925
Gideon, no, you don't
have to go.
387
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,651
It's all right.
388
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,336
I want to be alone.
389
00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:32,263
Thank you for the threesome.
390
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:34,515
♪ ♪
391
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,754
Hey, have you heard from Gideon?
392
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:44,167
No, but his page on
Farmers Only is blowing up.
393
00:15:44,185 --> 00:15:45,276
That butter-churning photo
394
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:48,262
is like crack
to these farmer freaks.
395
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,839
This is all my fault.
396
00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:51,357
I should've protected him.
397
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,676
Instead, I pushed him
to take a bite out of life
398
00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:55,102
and then he choked on it.
399
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:58,030
Holy crap, I'm Eve.
400
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:01,775
Hi, I have a telegram
for Kat Silver.
401
00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:03,869
A telegram?
Is it from the front?
402
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,871
Did we liberate Paris?
403
00:16:06,024 --> 00:16:09,542
(sighs) It's from Gideon.
404
00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:12,028
"Not worthy
of your friendship, stop.
405
00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:14,806
"Please accept
my resignation, stop.
406
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:16,474
"I'm going back
to the only place
407
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:18,050
"I've ever been happy, stop.
408
00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:20,461
"Are you charging me
by the word, stop.
409
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,538
"I don't want this
to count, stop.
410
00:16:22,557 --> 00:16:24,056
Please stop, stop."
411
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:26,542
Wait, the only place
he's ever been happy?
412
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:28,469
There's only one place
that makes sense.
413
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,046
The revolving door?
414
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:32,231
Okay, there's two places.
415
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,475
♪ ♪
416
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:35,660
(knocking)
417
00:16:35,887 --> 00:16:38,079
(jazzy music playing)
418
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,557
Oh, hello.
419
00:16:41,576 --> 00:16:43,167
What are you guys doing here?
420
00:16:43,319 --> 00:16:45,077
We wanted to catch you before
your date with Rodrigo.
421
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,747
Oh, I can see you're getting
ready. Lovely robe, by the way.
422
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:50,082
I stole mine
from a Best Western.
423
00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:51,175
I'm on the date.
424
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:52,510
This is outfit number two.
425
00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:54,570
You don't want to be here
for number three.
426
00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:56,330
Look, we know you
really like him,
427
00:16:56,424 --> 00:17:00,101
but Rodrigo is more
of a Rodrig-ho.
428
00:17:01,262 --> 00:17:03,438
Ho?
429
00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:05,172
Hey, boys.
430
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,174
We meet again, Rodrigo.
431
00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:09,510
-Holy crap, I did it!
-Hey, listen up.
432
00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,529
This woman is like
a second mother to us.
433
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,773
You need to treat her
with the respect she deserves.
434
00:17:13,925 --> 00:17:15,424
What? Sheila and I
just enjoyed--
435
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:16,701
Her name is Sheila!
436
00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:19,370
And you just said that.
437
00:17:19,597 --> 00:17:22,281
Rodrigo, can you
just give us a minute?
438
00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,208
Yes, of course. As for you two,
439
00:17:24,435 --> 00:17:27,194
it's weird you pee
next to each other.
440
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,438
Right? You need a buffer!
441
00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:33,033
Okay. What do you think
you're doing?
442
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,201
He just wants to sleep with you.
443
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:36,112
He is not in it
for the long haul.
444
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,038
We're in a retirement home.
445
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,391
None of us are in it
for the long haul.
446
00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:43,377
We buy our toilet paper
one roll at a time.
447
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,181
Look, Rodrigo is so good
in the sack,
448
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,233
he's had six death bed requests.
449
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,343
They call him "The Last Meal."
450
00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:55,990
Wow. I guess Max really
misread the situation.
451
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,634
We just didn't want you
to get hurt.
452
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:00,227
I know what I'm doing here.
453
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:03,414
And at the moment, you're
stopping me from doing him.
454
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,234
Okay then, slay on, Sheila.
455
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,920
Yeah, good luck in there.
456
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:11,964
Which is a really weird thing
to say to my girlfriend's mom.
457
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:14,609
Max, Carter,
458
00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:17,153
it's really nice that
you're looking out for me.
459
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:19,722
Well, that's what wingmen do.
460
00:18:24,053 --> 00:18:25,828
Oh, hey, guys.
461
00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:26,771
Hey, Mindy.
462
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:29,089
Just picked up
some vodka and Ensure
463
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,016
if you feel like a nightcap.
464
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,835
Uh, actually...
465
00:18:32,854 --> 00:18:33,778
Let's party.
466
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,696
All righty.
467
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:39,200
She is a freak.
468
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:45,456
♪ ♪
469
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:46,290
Gideon?
470
00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:48,775
Ich hab... Jimmy Kimmel.
471
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,278
GIDEON:
I'm not here.
472
00:18:51,372 --> 00:18:52,538
Oh, shoot.
473
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:54,206
All right, I'm coming in.
474
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:55,541
I hope you're decent.
475
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:59,595
What am I saying?
He wears pants under his pants.
476
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,458
Hey.
477
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,310
How are you doing?
478
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:07,870
Okay, I guess.
479
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:09,872
I had lunch in
the free sample aisle.
480
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:13,634
Are you familiar with the
miracle called the Hot Pocket?
481
00:19:13,728 --> 00:19:16,970
On the eighth day, the Lord
made the Hot Pocket,
482
00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:18,805
and yea, it was good.
483
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,100
Look, I know you're
upset about last night,
484
00:19:22,236 --> 00:19:23,494
but you really don't have to be.
485
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:26,055
I am sorry for what I did.
486
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:30,001
I hereby forswear all
the temptations of this world.
487
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:33,671
Except for the cheese balls,
I can't give them up.
488
00:19:33,822 --> 00:19:35,080
It's okay.
489
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:38,083
I'm not mad, Randi's not mad.
490
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:43,239
I don't fit in here any better
than I did at home.
491
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,727
Do you remember the island
of misfit toys from Rudolph?
492
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:50,079
No.
493
00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:52,690
Damn it, that would've been
a sweet timesaver.
494
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:58,178
Well, the point is,
you know, we're all misfits.
495
00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:01,106
We all feel like we don't
fit in sometimes.
496
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:04,685
Not you, you're so cool.
497
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,037
(laughing):
Oh, Gideon.
498
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:09,281
See? Two days in the modern
world and you get it.
499
00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:12,043
(sighs)
Look, there are gonna be times
500
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,361
when you feel lost and alone.
501
00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:16,881
But just remember
you have people
502
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,275
who are gonna help you
get through it.
503
00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:20,943
I do?
504
00:20:20,962 --> 00:20:22,202
Yeah.
505
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,796
And I'm one of them.
506
00:20:23,948 --> 00:20:26,373
You're too sweet to me.
507
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,893
No, I mean it.
508
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:31,687
I want you to stay.
509
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:34,640
Then I'll stay.
510
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,068
Good.
511
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,904
Oh, still a hard pass.
512
00:20:40,131 --> 00:20:43,074
Ooh, but I'm ahead of Randi
two to one.
513
00:20:44,302 --> 00:20:46,410
♪ ♪
514
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,405
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
515
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,575
♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
516
00:21:01,669 --> 00:21:04,428
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
517
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♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
518
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♪ ♪
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