1
00:00:04,246 --> 00:00:06,839
The name's Silver.
2
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:09,049
Kat Silver.
3
00:00:10,903 --> 00:00:12,511
License to pack.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,664
I'm the king of apartment 4B!
5
00:00:16,759 --> 00:00:18,925
Yo, that truck says U-Haul,
6
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,761
but, so far, this has been
a lot of Me-Haul.
7
00:00:20,913 --> 00:00:23,171
Look, man, if you want me
to call you "The Muscle,"
8
00:00:23,265 --> 00:00:24,857
you got to act like
"The Muscle."
9
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:26,250
(scoffs)
10
00:00:26,435 --> 00:00:28,085
I can't believe this is our
last day living together.
11
00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:30,771
Yeah, the end of an era.
12
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,348
-(sighs) Okay, bye.
-Oh.
13
00:00:33,442 --> 00:00:35,350
Wait, wait, this is
kind of a big deal.
14
00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:37,928
Just think of all the memories
that happened here.
15
00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,705
You two got engaged.
After 20 years,
16
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:43,116
-Max finally gave into
his feelings for me.
-(laughs)
17
00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:44,692
There were a lot
of good memories.
18
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,545
There's not a room here that
Randi and I didn't have sex in.
19
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:50,198
Wait, my room, too?
Dude, that's not cool.
20
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,367
Actually, it's pretty cool.
21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,294
All right, Randi,
that's the last of your stuff.
22
00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:56,055
Oh, thanks. We'll meet you
at the elevator.
23
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,781
You got an elevator?
24
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,875
Dawg, I dragged your treadmill
down three flights of stairs.
25
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,187
Sure did, Muscle.
26
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,398
All right, I guess this is it.
27
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,049
I'm really gonna miss
hanging out with you here.
28
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,977
Girl, I'm gonna see you
every day this week at work
29
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,813
and at your Super Bowl party,
30
00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:14,573
on my only day off.
31
00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:16,391
Are you sure you want
to throw a party this weekend?
32
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,652
We already have so much
going on with me moving in.
33
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,746
You know how much I love
throwing this party,
34
00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:23,415
and it'll be the first time
that we're doing it together.
35
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,417
Plus, I'm pulling out
all the stops.
36
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,902
Halftime show starring
Cat-y Perry. She's gonna sing
37
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,314
"I Kissed a Cat,"
and, uh, spoiler alert,
38
00:01:30,332 --> 00:01:32,407
-she liked it. All right.
-(chuckles)
39
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,668
Time for a huggle.
Let's do this.
40
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,670
All right, whose house is this?
41
00:01:36,822 --> 00:01:39,005
-No longer our house!
-Whose house is this?
42
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,324
ALL:
No longer our house!
43
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:41,825
-Let's get up out of here.
-Let's go!
44
00:01:41,844 --> 00:01:45,104
-(cheering, yelling)
-Let's go! Yeah!
45
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,775
Yeah, we should probably get
the rest of my stuff.
46
00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,276
Absolutely.
47
00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:52,760
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
48
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,239
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
49
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:58,283
-Oh. (laughs)
-Morning.
50
00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,192
Good morning.
51
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,510
Eat your heart out, Folgers,
52
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,604
this is the best part
of waking up.
53
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,641
Bet you never spanked
your other roommates like that.
54
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:07,200
Actually, Randi once.
55
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,869
It was dark.
I thought she was Carter.
56
00:02:09,021 --> 00:02:10,796
I never even saw
that right hook coming.
57
00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:13,298
-(both laugh)
-Getting ready for work?
58
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,967
Yeah, just gonna
brush the ol' teeth,
59
00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,136
floss the ol' gums,
scrape the ol' tongue,
60
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:20,197
and wish that I had
just said, "Yep."
61
00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:22,699
Look at us, living together,
62
00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,534
being the world's cutest couple.
63
00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,386
Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa.
64
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,796
Yeah, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
65
00:02:28,891 --> 00:02:30,632
You know, we can use
the-the sink
66
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,317
and the shower at the same time,
67
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,711
but-but the toilet,
that's a solo act,
68
00:02:34,713 --> 00:02:37,805
and it always ends seat down,
and the crowd goes wild.
69
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:38,640
(laughs)
70
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,550
Um, where's my toothpaste?
71
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,161
Oh, I finished yours last night.
72
00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:44,145
I brushed,
but then I had an Oreo,
73
00:02:44,239 --> 00:02:46,223
so I brushed again,
and then I had another Oreo.
74
00:02:46,316 --> 00:02:48,834
-It was a vicious
but delicious cycle.
-(chuckles)
75
00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:50,227
Here, use mine.
76
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,412
Wow, I, uh, never realized
77
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:54,414
how much bathroom stuff
you have. (chuckles)
78
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,177
Clear skin, full heart,
can't age.
79
00:02:58,328 --> 00:03:00,262
Here, let me
straighten up a bit.
80
00:03:01,089 --> 00:03:02,014
Uh, oh, oh, hang on.
81
00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:03,182
What's up?
82
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,166
Well, I-I have
an organizing system.
83
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,501
For your medicine cabinet?
84
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:08,836
Yeah. I modeled it after
my favorite Walgreens.
85
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,690
Their manager, Arlo,
may not know inventory control,
86
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,418
but that redheaded son of
a biscuit's shelf arrangement?
87
00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,510
Mwah.
88
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,862
Sure. So, uh,
89
00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:18,530
where should I
put my shaving cream?
90
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,273
Huh. That's a good question
91
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,925
'cause for me, that would
go with the leg stuff,
92
00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,927
but for you, it goes
with the face stuff,
93
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:25,704
but those are
lotions and serums.
94
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:27,021
You know, I'm gonna
have to text Arlo
95
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,373
and get his thoughts on this.
96
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,209
Uh, well, you know,
why don't I just
97
00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:32,102
put my stuff in this cabinet
with the cleaning products?
98
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,104
Uh, unless you got
a system for that, too.
99
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,465
-Uh...
-Of course you do.
100
00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:38,032
You know what?
101
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,276
This is your place, too.
102
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:40,961
Just put your stuff
wherever you want.
103
00:03:41,113 --> 00:03:42,387
Thank you.
104
00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:45,974
(gasps)
105
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,478
Oh...
106
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,289
Uh...
107
00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:53,790
That's nice. (laughs)
108
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:57,611
I'm gonna move that
as soon as he leaves.
109
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,699
I know you're in here, Randi.
110
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,485
I checked every room.
111
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,821
And remember, we called
112
00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:09,373
no under-bedsies.
113
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,420
Oh well, I can't find you.
114
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:18,090
I guess that means
I can't give you...
115
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:20,050
foam to the dome!
116
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:23,578
What are you doing?
117
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,912
What are you doing?
118
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,156
I've been looking
for you for 20 minutes.
119
00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,100
I went to get pizza. I told you.
120
00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:29,493
I got your favorite
toppings, see?
121
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:31,603
Half cheese and
half "Freeze, bitch."
122
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:32,754
(shrieks)
123
00:04:32,848 --> 00:04:35,274
(laughs) Say hello
to my little friend.
124
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,484
(shrieking)
125
00:04:39,521 --> 00:04:40,779
(laughs)
126
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:42,856
(both laugh)
127
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,950
You know what?
What hurts the most
128
00:04:45,177 --> 00:04:47,268
is there's no pizza in that box.
129
00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:48,512
(laughs)
130
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,679
I love living with you.
131
00:04:49,698 --> 00:04:51,272
It's like hanging with a buddy
132
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,440
I also want to see naked.
133
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,367
Well, I love
living with you, too.
134
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,353
Speaking of which,
you still haven't told me
135
00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:57,704
how much I owe you
for the mortgage.
136
00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:59,965
Oh, don't worry about it, baby,
I got you covered.
137
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:02,042
Uh-uh, I can pay my own way.
138
00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,376
I am not some trophy wife.
139
00:05:03,529 --> 00:05:04,636
But I will let you off the hook
140
00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:06,120
because I know I look like one.
141
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,289
(chuckles) Well, I'm paying
whether you here or not.
142
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,883
I know, but it's important to me
143
00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,369
that we're equal partners
in all things.
144
00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:14,371
Except killing spiders.
That's your job.
145
00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:16,815
But if it's important
to you, Cook family rules
146
00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:19,876
do say I can only reject
free money one time.
147
00:05:19,878 --> 00:05:21,135
Okay, well, what's the damage?
148
00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:22,379
A thousand dollars.
149
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:23,805
Oh, cool, I'll Venmo you 500.
150
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,158
Oh, no, no, a thousand dollars
would be your half.
151
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,492
A thousand?
152
00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:29,143
Yeah, is that cool?
153
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,388
Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
154
00:05:31,406 --> 00:05:34,482
'Cause, you know,
I got racks on racks on racks.
155
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,077
-(doorbell rings)
-Oh, that's the real pizza.
156
00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:38,628
-Oh, okay.
-(chuckles)
157
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:41,840
Darren?
158
00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,417
Yup, special delivery
from Randi.
159
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:45,761
Extra foam!
160
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:52,834
All right, Margot, one hot tea
161
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,427
for a hottie. (giggles)
162
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:55,687
Thank you.
163
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,356
And I have never said this
to a white girl before,
164
00:05:57,507 --> 00:06:00,484
but, damn, I wish
I had an ass like that.
165
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,680
Oh, thank you, girl.
Have a blessed day.
166
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,942
Why are you being so weird
and nice to everyone?
167
00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:10,427
Please don't tell me
you're dying.
168
00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:12,612
You're the only
reason I come here.
169
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,280
My half of Carter's mortgage
170
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,448
is a little more
than I expected,
171
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,450
so I need every
dollar I can get.
172
00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:18,877
I thought about
selling my clothes
173
00:06:19,104 --> 00:06:21,880
but I just look too damn good
in all of them.
174
00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:23,440
Wait, wait, wait.
There are certain things
175
00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:26,051
a woman should never do,
and at the top of that list
176
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:28,035
is pay rent to her boyfriend.
177
00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:29,554
What else is on that list?
178
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:30,797
Wrinkle her brow,
179
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,449
cut her own hair,
180
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,634
open a cat café.
181
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,637
I just don't want to become
dependent on a man.
182
00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:38,805
What if I meet Beyoncé?
183
00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:41,483
She's not gonna
let me get in formation.
184
00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:43,217
I hear you.
185
00:06:43,311 --> 00:06:44,811
Sisters got to be doing it
186
00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,071
for theyselves.
187
00:06:46,648 --> 00:06:48,073
For theyselves.
188
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:51,076
I'll let that slide if you
agree that I deserve a raise.
189
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:53,803
Randi, you are a partner
in this business.
190
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,730
We couldn't do it without you,
191
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,140
which is why I can offer you
192
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,975
a "raise-in" scone.
193
00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,168
What?
194
00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:04,405
That's the Randi I love.
Do it again.
195
00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:06,591
So, how are things
with you and Max?
196
00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:07,792
You guys all settled in?
197
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,912
Oh, me and Max?
It's great. It's really great.
198
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,580
He's got a lot of stuff.
199
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,990
But it's really great!
200
00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:16,826
Very convincing.
Totally buying it.
201
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:19,086
I'm just used to
having my own space,
202
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,499
and he's just always there.
203
00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:23,667
With all his stuff.
204
00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:25,335
But it's really great!
205
00:07:25,353 --> 00:07:27,003
Look at it from his perspective,
206
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:28,262
you're always there too,
207
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,448
and he can't send you to camp
208
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:32,175
while he summers
in the French Riviera.
209
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,453
It was a day camp, Mother.
210
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,273
I had to sleep in a canoe
and fight a raccoon for food.
211
00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:42,777
And I had to come home
early when she got rabies.
212
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,589
It was a terrible
summer for both of us.
213
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:55,198
Okay Cat-y Perry,
it's time to bring it.
214
00:07:55,217 --> 00:07:56,808
The halftime show
is in two days.
215
00:07:56,885 --> 00:07:57,717
You are not focused,
216
00:07:57,869 --> 00:07:58,702
you're not even close
217
00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,127
to knowing your choreography.
218
00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:02,038
Let's take it
from the top, okay?
219
00:08:02,131 --> 00:08:03,206
Six, seven, eight.
220
00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,484
You jump to the couch.
221
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,301
You jump to the couch.
222
00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:08,820
You know, I think this is why
223
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:11,656
John Meower broke up
with you. I just...
224
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:14,551
Hey, I got a surprise for you.
225
00:08:14,686 --> 00:08:15,902
Ooh, is it boxer briefs?
226
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,496
'Cause I accidentally put yours
on this morning,
227
00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,480
and I got to tell you,
that front opening
228
00:08:19,574 --> 00:08:21,482
is like driving with
the windows down.
229
00:08:21,576 --> 00:08:24,836
I got us a new TV
for Super Bowl Sunday.
230
00:08:25,063 --> 00:08:27,672
(chanting):
MVP, MVP!
231
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:31,267
Oh, my gosh, look at
that thing, it's huge.
232
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,919
That's what she said.
233
00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:34,904
That is what she said,
'cause she's
234
00:08:34,998 --> 00:08:36,497
very confused right now.
235
00:08:36,591 --> 00:08:37,349
What's wrong with my TV?
236
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,908
We can't watch the Super Bowl
237
00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,593
on something that small.
238
00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:43,429
It would just be... the Bowl.
239
00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:45,749
Okay, well, I-I don't
really want my place
240
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,008
to look like a sports bar.
241
00:08:47,176 --> 00:08:48,175
I thought it was our place.
242
00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:49,361
And if this was a sports bar,
243
00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:50,862
there would be
a TV in the bathroom,
244
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,605
which... Hold on a second.
245
00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,608
No, this thing is way too big.
246
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,351
We'd have to get a new TV stand.
247
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,262
I'll mount the TV on the wall.
248
00:08:59,281 --> 00:09:00,430
Well, where am I going to hang
249
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,265
the caricatures of the cats?
250
00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:03,750
I mean, Snowball as an astronaut
251
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,043
is not only a subtle commentary
252
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,452
on the lack
of female representation
253
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,755
in the space program,
it's friggin' adorable.
254
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,716
Why are you so upset?
255
00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:13,610
I got this to make
your party better.
256
00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:15,554
Yeah, but you didn't even
check with me first.
257
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,447
Well, I didn't know
I needed to ask permission
258
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:20,041
to buy something
for our apartment.
259
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,451
We're low on toilet paper.
260
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,453
Should we have a meeting
before I go get some?
261
00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:26,306
If the toilet paper's
the size of a bus, yes.
262
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,548
You don't like where
I put my computer,
263
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,234
you don't like
where I put my deodorant,
264
00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:30,384
you don't like where
I put my socks.
265
00:09:30,462 --> 00:09:32,553
They're in the refrigerator.
266
00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:33,797
I like them cool.
267
00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,699
I get hot feet. You know that.
268
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:41,471
How much do you think I can
get for this ugly-ass scarf?
269
00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:42,472
Hey, that's mine.
270
00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:44,082
And you can have it back
for 20 bucks.
271
00:09:44,309 --> 00:09:47,401
Act now, and I'll throw in
your ugly-ass sunglasses, too.
272
00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:49,904
Randi, if you can't afford
your part of the mortgage,
273
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,923
you've got to be
honest with Carter.
274
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:53,499
No, no, I can pay my half.
275
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:55,093
Between extra tips,
selling a few things,
276
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:57,596
and, ooh, I'm not gonna be able
to make your Super Bowl party.
277
00:09:57,747 --> 00:10:00,915
Why? You're my hottest friend.
I like to show you off.
278
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,009
Well, I have to
drive Uber that day.
279
00:10:03,178 --> 00:10:04,844
You took a second job?
280
00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:07,513
Randi, you've
just got to tell him.
281
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,332
Beyoncé will understand.
282
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,775
She wrote "Bills, Bills, Bills."
283
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,569
I see you, Queen B.
284
00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:14,762
It's fine.
285
00:10:14,856 --> 00:10:17,098
By the way, have you
been working out?
286
00:10:17,192 --> 00:10:21,344
Because you are putting
the "ass" in fantastic.
287
00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:23,513
I know what you're doing.
288
00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:25,206
And it's working.
289
00:10:27,018 --> 00:10:28,275
Hey-hey, I bought booze
for your Super Bowl party.
290
00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,961
All from the top shelf...
291
00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:32,188
-of the storage room.
-(chuckles) Great.
292
00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,540
I'm making my
Reggie White Bean Salad,
293
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:35,708
my Jerry Rice Pudding,
294
00:10:35,861 --> 00:10:38,361
and Bill "Belichicken" Fingers.
295
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:39,304
Oh, cool.
296
00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:41,139
Remind me, we got to
eat before we go.
297
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,290
Actually, I don't
think I'm gonna make it.
298
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,644
What? How can you
miss the Super Bowl?
299
00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:47,704
Lady stuff.
300
00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,064
Say less.
301
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,318
You know, I think this
entertainment center
302
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,469
is the perfect solution
to our problem.
303
00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:56,396
It really is.
304
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,305
I get a place to
put my sweet new TV,
305
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,900
and you get four more
drawers for cat crap.
306
00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:02,886
(laughs) All right,
let's get to it.
307
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:05,388
Time for my favorite
step: Inventory.
308
00:11:05,407 --> 00:11:08,908
Uh, looks like we've
got some long screws
309
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,226
and a couple of nuts.
310
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:11,411
That's what she said.
311
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,488
Nailed it. Also what she said.
312
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:18,159
Ooh, we've also got
an exciting array of dowels.
313
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:20,069
Whoa, what are you doing?
314
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:22,180
Manly things.
315
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,574
No, but you've got to
follow the instructions.
316
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,426
It says here right
on the instructions.
317
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,335
It says,
"Follow the instructions."
318
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,095
Huh.
319
00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:30,914
Let's see. Step one:
320
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,023
Build the damn thing.
321
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,341
Step two: Napalm
life-sized zombies
322
00:11:34,419 --> 00:11:36,403
on my giant, kick-ass TV.
323
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,014
Wha...
324
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,848
Are you out of your mind?
325
00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,659
The warranty card is in there.
326
00:11:46,097 --> 00:11:47,539
(groans) Damn it.
327
00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:49,766
You know, we could've
just paid the 75 bucks
328
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:50,709
to have them build it.
329
00:11:50,894 --> 00:11:52,359
For reference,
that's the shipping cost
330
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,462
of all of your moisturizers.
331
00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:57,123
Why isn't this fitting?
332
00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:58,699
Because you're doing it wrong,
333
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,777
which you would know if you
had used the instructions.
334
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,295
I did use the instructions.
335
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,371
Yeah, as a plate for your pizza.
336
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,874
While you wasted a paper plate.
337
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,875
Sorry, Mother Earth,
338
00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:10,211
I guess only
one of us loves you.
339
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,397
If I'm doing it wrong,
here, you do it.
340
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,381
Oh, fine. You know what?
I will do it.
341
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,401
And I'm gonna use
the instructions.
342
00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:18,570
Zucchini.
343
00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:21,740
All right, uh, step 42-C:
344
00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:24,242
Slide the upper
edge of the left door
345
00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:26,652
into the lower right track.
346
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,687
Wait, so the left door
347
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,323
into the right track?
348
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,992
Well, is this the left door
or the right door?
349
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:34,994
How's it going?
350
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,046
Did you build it yet?
351
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:39,591
I knew this party was a mistake.
352
00:12:39,742 --> 00:12:40,592
The party is not the problem.
353
00:12:40,819 --> 00:12:42,409
The problem is this big, dumb TV
354
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,245
that you bought
without asking me.
355
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,672
It's not a dumb TV,
it's a smart TV.
356
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,658
It says so right on the box.
357
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,343
Wait, I think I got it.
358
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,585
Seriously?
359
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,663
Yup, the door is attached.
360
00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:55,014
It opens and closes.
361
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:56,516
Well, call me Jesus,
362
00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:59,778
because I am a highly
skilled Jewish carpenter.
363
00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,597
And it only took four hours,
two calls to customer service,
364
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,191
and one trip to urgent care.
365
00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:07,601
I'm sorry, I really was just
tossing that mallet at you.
366
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:09,862
I didn't know that you were
gonna catch it with your...
367
00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:10,955
(whistles)
368
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:13,107
It's okay. It finally dropped.
369
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,443
I think he was just scared
more than anything else.
370
00:13:16,538 --> 00:13:20,206
Well, it was not easy,
but we did it.
371
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,374
Yeah.
372
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:24,135
-(sighs)
-We made this together.
373
00:13:24,287 --> 00:13:26,863
This must be how parents feel.
374
00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:28,139
You know, proud.
375
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:29,549
And very, very tired.
376
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,644
Also wondering, like,
was it really worth it?
377
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,396
Let's go to bed.
378
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,304
I told you to use
the frickin' washers!
379
00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,156
It said they were optional!
380
00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:46,473
Oh, where'd it say that?
381
00:13:46,568 --> 00:13:48,142
In the instructions
you didn't read?
382
00:13:48,236 --> 00:13:50,311
I need my nighttime socks.
383
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,996
Wha...
384
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,580
All right, last call
for Super Bowl bets.
385
00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:01,914
Nothing's off limits,
386
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,399
the winner, the score,
387
00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:04,658
how long it'll take for
Sheila to tell her story
388
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,328
about how she hooked up
with Terry Bradshaw.
389
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,348
I was just trying to make
Mean Joe Greene jealous.
390
00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:12,408
Yes! I had "before kickoff."
391
00:14:12,427 --> 00:14:13,667
Carter, let it ride on
392
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:16,020
"my mother insulting
my outfit before halftime."
393
00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:17,671
It is hideous.
394
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,082
And I win again!
395
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,526
Carter, send that 40 bucks
straight to my therapist.
396
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,921
Hey, real quick
we just want to make a toast.
397
00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:26,531
Hold on, I need a drink.
398
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,078
Continue.
399
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,614
Uh, I just wanted to...
400
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,499
Oh, you're gonna talk?
401
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,454
Um, I just want to thank you all
402
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:45,049
for coming to my annual
Super Bowl party.
403
00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:46,125
I thought it was our party.
404
00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:47,534
I don't recall you
405
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:50,179
making football-shaped meatballs
with mozzarella laces.
406
00:14:51,116 --> 00:14:53,299
Anyway, uh, enjoy yourselves,
407
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,800
and don't forget
to try the guacamole
408
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,953
'cause... it's good.
409
00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,564
And I just want to
give a special shout-out
410
00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,624
to my personal MVP.
411
00:15:01,717 --> 00:15:04,402
This sick-ass 70-inch
ultra-hi-def TV.
412
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,796
Daddy loves you.
413
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:07,647
Turn it up.
414
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,073
Yeah, the national anthem's
415
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,658
about to start.
416
00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:13,411
It's not working.
417
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,496
Thanks, Kelly. Big help.
418
00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:17,823
Wait, that's the old remote.
419
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,991
Are you kidding me?
420
00:15:19,144 --> 00:15:20,752
Did you take the new remote
to the Goodwill
421
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:22,253
when you dropped off my old TV?
422
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,738
Uh, maybe, because
you made me stay up all night
423
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,073
rebuilding your stupid TV stand,
424
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,574
and I only got
two hours of sleep.
425
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,986
So we have to watch
the Super Bowl with no sound?
426
00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:31,763
This is why I hate charity.
427
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,340
You know, when I
got my TV stand,
428
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:35,600
I just paid a guy 75 bucks...
429
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,176
-Thank you.
-Shut it.
430
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,495
We can just use the volume
buttons on the side of the TV.
431
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:42,923
There are no buttons,
it's too awesome and expensive.
432
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,001
It's fine, everybody,
I'll do my play-by-play.
433
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:48,337
Kat fumbles the party,
the crowd boos.
434
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:50,856
Me? Max is the one
who gave away the remote
435
00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:53,676
to the giant TV
he just had to have.
436
00:15:53,769 --> 00:15:54,768
We don't have time for this.
437
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:55,936
There was just a commercial
438
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,346
with a monkey
riding a motorcycle,
439
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,123
and I don't know
what I'm supposed to buy!
440
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,607
You've got to
go back to the Goodwill
441
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,867
and get the remote.
442
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,295
Fine, but we wouldn't
even be in this mess
443
00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:05,871
if you'd have let me
have a bathroom TV.
444
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,049
God, my feet are hot.
445
00:16:10,878 --> 00:16:12,211
Uh...
446
00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,380
Good news, everybody.
447
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,290
I'm gonna move up
the halftime show.
448
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,976
Cat-y Perry, you're on.
449
00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:19,126
You jump to the couch.
450
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,979
You jump
to the couch.
451
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,205
It's not working.
452
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:24,107
Thanks, Kelly. Big help.
453
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:28,736
Hey.
454
00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:30,546
Hey.
455
00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:31,897
Max texted Carter.
456
00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:33,640
Goodwill's still
looking for the remote.
457
00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:35,009
But, on the plus side,
458
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:36,719
he found a pair
of corduroy bellbottoms
459
00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:40,164
that "are tight in
all the right places."
460
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,459
Are you okay?
461
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,379
It's me and Max.
462
00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:48,339
I don't know.
463
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,249
Maybe moving in
together this soon
464
00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:53,069
-was not the best idea.
-Mmm.
465
00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:54,345
It's an adjustment.
466
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:57,164
You've lived alone
most of your life.
467
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,833
It's hard to learn to compromise
468
00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:02,520
for the first time
at the age of 45.
469
00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,930
Mother, I'm only 40.
470
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,192
You are? Dear Lord.
471
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:12,679
And I'm compromising.
472
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,848
We bought his
brand of toilet paper.
473
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,778
I haven't walked right in
two days, but I'm trying.
474
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:20,112
Listen, I know.
475
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,265
Changing your ways can feel like
476
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,375
you're giving away
a little bit of yourself,
477
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,543
but remember,
478
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:28,713
you're getting something
wonderful in return.
479
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,007
Max.
480
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,051
Yeah.
481
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:34,886
Max.
482
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,946
Max, who has a 45-minute
483
00:17:36,964 --> 00:17:38,222
daily skin-care routine.
484
00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:40,116
I literally heard him say,
485
00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:43,144
"I just want to look better
than Paul Rudd."
486
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,622
Look, in a lot of ways,
487
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:49,475
men are impossible,
so you have two options:
488
00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:51,143
Learn to live with them,
489
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:53,796
or wear that exact outfit
to a lesbian bar
490
00:17:53,815 --> 00:17:56,032
and get on with your life.
491
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,970
Yeah, I'm parked
right out front.
492
00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,729
License plate "HURRYUP."
493
00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,582
(laughs) Just a coincidence.
494
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,459
Yeah, see you soon.
495
00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:08,661
(knock on window)
496
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,404
Wrong car, wrong night!
497
00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:12,072
Carter?
498
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,332
What are you doing here?
499
00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:15,927
I had to pick up
a universal TV remote.
500
00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:19,263
Long story short, white friends.
501
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,507
-Hey, are you Randi?
-Yes.
502
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,416
Who the hell are you?
503
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,584
Joel. Am I in the right car?
504
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,844
-No.
-Yes.
505
00:18:24,996 --> 00:18:25,845
Should I get out?
506
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:26,771
-Yes.
-No.
507
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,331
BOTH:
Okay, what's going on?
508
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,834
I started driving Uber
to make a little extra money.
509
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:32,668
What?
510
00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:33,869
I have a flight to catch
511
00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,696
in an hour, so could we maybe...
512
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:38,190
Ooh, bottled water.
513
00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:42,011
My half of the mortgage
was more than I thought.
514
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,121
Like a lot more.
515
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:44,363
Like, if you can afford that,
516
00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:46,273
why the hell was
my Valentine's gift
517
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,566
a coupon to
unload the dishwasher?
518
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,611
It was a series of coupons,
including a free hug
519
00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:51,704
and a free back rub.
520
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,189
And they were all
for the same reason.
521
00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:54,523
I was hoping they
would lead to sex.
522
00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,967
I really do need to
get to the airport.
523
00:18:56,194 --> 00:18:58,194
Joel, you're a man traveling
on Super Bowl Sunday.
524
00:18:58,196 --> 00:18:59,971
Your needs mean nothing to me.
525
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,141
Didn't I tell you I would cover
your part of the mortgage?
526
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,201
No, no, I can
pay my fair share.
527
00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:06,811
I've never had to
rely on anybody,
528
00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:08,295
and I'm not about to start now.
529
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:09,963
Baby, we about to be married.
530
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,465
We're a team.
531
00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:13,042
Like Jay and Beyoncé.
532
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,801
Barack and Michelle.
533
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,136
Oprah and Gayle.
534
00:19:16,305 --> 00:19:18,764
You know, my mother and I
were in a similar situation.
535
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,884
We agreed to pay our rent on a
sliding scale based on income.
536
00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,494
Damn it, would
you mind your own...
537
00:19:24,555 --> 00:19:27,314
Actually, Boy Kat
back here has a good idea.
538
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:29,408
What do you think, baby?
539
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,578
I just don't want you to
think I'm taking advantage.
540
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,840
I don't. I think it's fair.
541
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,051
Okay, then I'm in.
542
00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:42,180
You guys make
an adorable couple.
543
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:43,923
Can I take a picture of you
544
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:45,408
and tell my mom
that we're dating?
545
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:46,242
Excuse me?
546
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,394
And ride cancelled.
547
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,359
(whistle blows on TV)
548
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,010
All right, that's the end
of the third quarter,
549
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,271
and Sheila won again?
550
00:19:59,424 --> 00:20:00,347
(laughs)
551
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,016
I've got racks
on racks on racks.
552
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,119
I hate that I taught you that.
553
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:12,526
Everyone's having a good time
at your party.
554
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,545
Our party.
555
00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:17,773
I think it's 'cause
they love your TV.
556
00:20:17,942 --> 00:20:19,592
Our TV.
557
00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:22,703
No, it's my TV. (laughs)
558
00:20:22,797 --> 00:20:25,130
But I should've talked
to you before I bought it.
559
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,132
Yeah, you should've.
560
00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:29,802
But I got to be more flexible.
561
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,729
BOTH:
That's what she said.
562
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,290
And I've got to compromise.
563
00:20:34,308 --> 00:20:37,142
And I have definitely got to
go back to my old toilet paper.
564
00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,570
I've been to hell and back
with your one-ply.
565
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,389
Listen, we're figuring it out.
566
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,800
The good news is I think
I've finally gotten the hang
567
00:20:44,819 --> 00:20:46,652
of how you organize the fridge.
568
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:47,803
(chuckling):
Oh.
569
00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:49,080
Not even close.
570
00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:51,398
Cheese and lettuce
in the same drawer?
571
00:20:51,492 --> 00:20:53,459
I had to sit down.
572
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:58,381
Ow! One-ply!
573
00:21:00,909 --> 00:21:03,344
("Stick Together"
by Freedust plays)
574
00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:07,080
♪ I tried to
shake this bad dream ♪
575
00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:08,248
♪ All alone ♪
576
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,600
♪ But I can't believe my eyes ♪
577
00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,102
♪ As I reach for my phone ♪
578
00:21:11,329 --> 00:21:13,771
♪ So I call up my mother,
call up my friends ♪
579
00:21:13,922 --> 00:21:16,941
♪ Is this the world
we have to live in? ♪
580
00:21:17,134 --> 00:21:18,943
♪ The city's on fire ♪
581
00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:20,336
♪ Everyone's tired ♪
582
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,521
♪ We're walking on wires ♪
583
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,948
♪ Just to keep quiet ♪
584
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,284
♪ Counting the hours
down till the end ♪
585
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:29,287
♪ Just trying to
make some sense ♪
586
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:32,515
♪ We are all, we are all ♪
587
00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,533
♪ We need. ♪
588
00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:36,352
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
589
00:21:36,354 --> 00:21:39,046
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org