1 00:00:04,246 --> 00:00:06,839 The name's Silver. 2 00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:09,049 Kat Silver. 3 00:00:10,903 --> 00:00:12,511 License to pack. 4 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,664 I'm the king of apartment 4B! 5 00:00:16,759 --> 00:00:18,925 Yo, that truck says U-Haul, 6 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,761 but, so far, this has been a lot of Me-Haul. 7 00:00:20,913 --> 00:00:23,171 Look, man, if you want me to call you "The Muscle," 8 00:00:23,265 --> 00:00:24,857 you got to act like "The Muscle." 9 00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:26,250 (scoffs) 10 00:00:26,435 --> 00:00:28,085 I can't believe this is our last day living together. 11 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:30,771 Yeah, the end of an era. 12 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,348 -(sighs) Okay, bye. -Oh. 13 00:00:33,442 --> 00:00:35,350 Wait, wait, this is kind of a big deal. 14 00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:37,928 Just think of all the memories that happened here. 15 00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,705 You two got engaged. After 20 years, 16 00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:43,116 -Max finally gave into his feelings for me. -(laughs) 17 00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:44,692 There were a lot of good memories. 18 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,545 There's not a room here that Randi and I didn't have sex in. 19 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:50,198 Wait, my room, too? Dude, that's not cool. 20 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,367 Actually, it's pretty cool. 21 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,294 All right, Randi, that's the last of your stuff. 22 00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:56,055 Oh, thanks. We'll meet you at the elevator. 23 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,781 You got an elevator? 24 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,875 Dawg, I dragged your treadmill down three flights of stairs. 25 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,187 Sure did, Muscle. 26 00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,398 All right, I guess this is it. 27 00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,049 I'm really gonna miss hanging out with you here. 28 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,977 Girl, I'm gonna see you every day this week at work 29 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,813 and at your Super Bowl party, 30 00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:14,573 on my only day off. 31 00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:16,391 Are you sure you want to throw a party this weekend? 32 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,652 We already have so much going on with me moving in. 33 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,746 You know how much I love throwing this party, 34 00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:23,415 and it'll be the first time that we're doing it together. 35 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,417 Plus, I'm pulling out all the stops. 36 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,902 Halftime show starring Cat-y Perry. She's gonna sing 37 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,314 "I Kissed a Cat," and, uh, spoiler alert, 38 00:01:30,332 --> 00:01:32,407 -she liked it. All right. -(chuckles) 39 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,668 Time for a huggle. Let's do this. 40 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,670 All right, whose house is this? 41 00:01:36,822 --> 00:01:39,005 -No longer our house! -Whose house is this? 42 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,324 ALL: No longer our house! 43 00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:41,825 -Let's get up out of here. -Let's go! 44 00:01:41,844 --> 00:01:45,104 -(cheering, yelling) -Let's go! Yeah! 45 00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,775 Yeah, we should probably get the rest of my stuff. 46 00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,276 Absolutely. 47 00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:52,760 ♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪ 48 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,239 ♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪ 49 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:58,283 -Oh. (laughs) -Morning. 50 00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,192 Good morning. 51 00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,510 Eat your heart out, Folgers, 52 00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,604 this is the best part of waking up. 53 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,641 Bet you never spanked your other roommates like that. 54 00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:07,200 Actually, Randi once. 55 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,869 It was dark. I thought she was Carter. 56 00:02:09,021 --> 00:02:10,796 I never even saw that right hook coming. 57 00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:13,298 -(both laugh) -Getting ready for work? 58 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,967 Yeah, just gonna brush the ol' teeth, 59 00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,136 floss the ol' gums, scrape the ol' tongue, 60 00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:20,197 and wish that I had just said, "Yep." 61 00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:22,699 Look at us, living together, 62 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,534 being the world's cutest couple. 63 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,386 Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa. 64 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,796 Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. 65 00:02:28,891 --> 00:02:30,632 You know, we can use the-the sink 66 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,317 and the shower at the same time, 67 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,711 but-but the toilet, that's a solo act, 68 00:02:34,713 --> 00:02:37,805 and it always ends seat down, and the crowd goes wild. 69 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:38,640 (laughs) 70 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,550 Um, where's my toothpaste? 71 00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,161 Oh, I finished yours last night. 72 00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:44,145 I brushed, but then I had an Oreo, 73 00:02:44,239 --> 00:02:46,223 so I brushed again, and then I had another Oreo. 74 00:02:46,316 --> 00:02:48,834 -It was a vicious but delicious cycle. -(chuckles) 75 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:50,227 Here, use mine. 76 00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,412 Wow, I, uh, never realized 77 00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:54,414 how much bathroom stuff you have. (chuckles) 78 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,177 Clear skin, full heart, can't age. 79 00:02:58,328 --> 00:03:00,262 Here, let me straighten up a bit. 80 00:03:01,089 --> 00:03:02,014 Uh, oh, oh, hang on. 81 00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:03,182 What's up? 82 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,166 Well, I-I have an organizing system. 83 00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,501 For your medicine cabinet? 84 00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:08,836 Yeah. I modeled it after my favorite Walgreens. 85 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,690 Their manager, Arlo, may not know inventory control, 86 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,418 but that redheaded son of a biscuit's shelf arrangement? 87 00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,510 Mwah. 88 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,862 Sure. So, uh, 89 00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:18,530 where should I put my shaving cream? 90 00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,273 Huh. That's a good question 91 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,925 'cause for me, that would go with the leg stuff, 92 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,927 but for you, it goes with the face stuff, 93 00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:25,704 but those are lotions and serums. 94 00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:27,021 You know, I'm gonna have to text Arlo 95 00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,373 and get his thoughts on this. 96 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,209 Uh, well, you know, why don't I just 97 00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:32,102 put my stuff in this cabinet with the cleaning products? 98 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,104 Uh, unless you got a system for that, too. 99 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,465 -Uh... -Of course you do. 100 00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:38,032 You know what? 101 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,276 This is your place, too. 102 00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:40,961 Just put your stuff wherever you want. 103 00:03:41,113 --> 00:03:42,387 Thank you. 104 00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:45,974 (gasps) 105 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,478 Oh... 106 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,289 Uh... 107 00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:53,790 That's nice. (laughs) 108 00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:57,611 I'm gonna move that as soon as he leaves. 109 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,699 I know you're in here, Randi. 110 00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,485 I checked every room. 111 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,821 And remember, we called 112 00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:09,373 no under-bedsies. 113 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,420 Oh well, I can't find you. 114 00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:18,090 I guess that means I can't give you... 115 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:20,050 foam to the dome! 116 00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:23,578 What are you doing? 117 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,912 What are you doing? 118 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,156 I've been looking for you for 20 minutes. 119 00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,100 I went to get pizza. I told you. 120 00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:29,493 I got your favorite toppings, see? 121 00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:31,603 Half cheese and half "Freeze, bitch." 122 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:32,754 (shrieks) 123 00:04:32,848 --> 00:04:35,274 (laughs) Say hello to my little friend. 124 00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,484 (shrieking) 125 00:04:39,521 --> 00:04:40,779 (laughs) 126 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:42,856 (both laugh) 127 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,950 You know what? What hurts the most 128 00:04:45,177 --> 00:04:47,268 is there's no pizza in that box. 129 00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:48,512 (laughs) 130 00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,679 I love living with you. 131 00:04:49,698 --> 00:04:51,272 It's like hanging with a buddy 132 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,440 I also want to see naked. 133 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,367 Well, I love living with you, too. 134 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,353 Speaking of which, you still haven't told me 135 00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:57,704 how much I owe you for the mortgage. 136 00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:59,965 Oh, don't worry about it, baby, I got you covered. 137 00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:02,042 Uh-uh, I can pay my own way. 138 00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,376 I am not some trophy wife. 139 00:05:03,529 --> 00:05:04,636 But I will let you off the hook 140 00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:06,120 because I know I look like one. 141 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,289 (chuckles) Well, I'm paying whether you here or not. 142 00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,883 I know, but it's important to me 143 00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,369 that we're equal partners in all things. 144 00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:14,371 Except killing spiders. That's your job. 145 00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:16,815 But if it's important to you, Cook family rules 146 00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:19,876 do say I can only reject free money one time. 147 00:05:19,878 --> 00:05:21,135 Okay, well, what's the damage? 148 00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:22,379 A thousand dollars. 149 00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:23,805 Oh, cool, I'll Venmo you 500. 150 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,158 Oh, no, no, a thousand dollars would be your half. 151 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,492 A thousand? 152 00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:29,143 Yeah, is that cool? 153 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,388 Yeah. Yeah, no problem. 154 00:05:31,406 --> 00:05:34,482 'Cause, you know, I got racks on racks on racks. 155 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,077 -(doorbell rings) -Oh, that's the real pizza. 156 00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:38,628 -Oh, okay. -(chuckles) 157 00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:41,840 Darren? 158 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,417 Yup, special delivery from Randi. 159 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:45,761 Extra foam! 160 00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:52,834 All right, Margot, one hot tea 161 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,427 for a hottie. (giggles) 162 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:55,687 Thank you. 163 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,356 And I have never said this to a white girl before, 164 00:05:57,507 --> 00:06:00,484 but, damn, I wish I had an ass like that. 165 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,680 Oh, thank you, girl. Have a blessed day. 166 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,942 Why are you being so weird and nice to everyone? 167 00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:10,427 Please don't tell me you're dying. 168 00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:12,612 You're the only reason I come here. 169 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,280 My half of Carter's mortgage 170 00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,448 is a little more than I expected, 171 00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,450 so I need every dollar I can get. 172 00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:18,877 I thought about selling my clothes 173 00:06:19,104 --> 00:06:21,880 but I just look too damn good in all of them. 174 00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:23,440 Wait, wait, wait. There are certain things 175 00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:26,051 a woman should never do, and at the top of that list 176 00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:28,035 is pay rent to her boyfriend. 177 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:29,554 What else is on that list? 178 00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:30,797 Wrinkle her brow, 179 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,449 cut her own hair, 180 00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,634 open a cat café. 181 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,637 I just don't want to become dependent on a man. 182 00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:38,805 What if I meet Beyoncé? 183 00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:41,483 She's not gonna let me get in formation. 184 00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:43,217 I hear you. 185 00:06:43,311 --> 00:06:44,811 Sisters got to be doing it 186 00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,071 for theyselves. 187 00:06:46,648 --> 00:06:48,073 For theyselves. 188 00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:51,076 I'll let that slide if you agree that I deserve a raise. 189 00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:53,803 Randi, you are a partner in this business. 190 00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,730 We couldn't do it without you, 191 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,140 which is why I can offer you 192 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,975 a "raise-in" scone. 193 00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,168 What? 194 00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:04,405 That's the Randi I love. Do it again. 195 00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:06,591 So, how are things with you and Max? 196 00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:07,792 You guys all settled in? 197 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,912 Oh, me and Max? It's great. It's really great. 198 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,580 He's got a lot of stuff. 199 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,990 But it's really great! 200 00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:16,826 Very convincing. Totally buying it. 201 00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:19,086 I'm just used to having my own space, 202 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,499 and he's just always there. 203 00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:23,667 With all his stuff. 204 00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:25,335 But it's really great! 205 00:07:25,353 --> 00:07:27,003 Look at it from his perspective, 206 00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:28,262 you're always there too, 207 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,448 and he can't send you to camp 208 00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:32,175 while he summers in the French Riviera. 209 00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,453 It was a day camp, Mother. 210 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,273 I had to sleep in a canoe and fight a raccoon for food. 211 00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:42,777 And I had to come home early when she got rabies. 212 00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,589 It was a terrible summer for both of us. 213 00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:55,198 Okay Cat-y Perry, it's time to bring it. 214 00:07:55,217 --> 00:07:56,808 The halftime show is in two days. 215 00:07:56,885 --> 00:07:57,717 You are not focused, 216 00:07:57,869 --> 00:07:58,702 you're not even close 217 00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,127 to knowing your choreography. 218 00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:02,038 Let's take it from the top, okay? 219 00:08:02,131 --> 00:08:03,206 Six, seven, eight. 220 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,484 You jump to the couch. 221 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,301 You jump to the couch. 222 00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:08,820 You know, I think this is why 223 00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:11,656 John Meower broke up with you. I just... 224 00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:14,551 Hey, I got a surprise for you. 225 00:08:14,686 --> 00:08:15,902 Ooh, is it boxer briefs? 226 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,496 'Cause I accidentally put yours on this morning, 227 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,480 and I got to tell you, that front opening 228 00:08:19,574 --> 00:08:21,482 is like driving with the windows down. 229 00:08:21,576 --> 00:08:24,836 I got us a new TV for Super Bowl Sunday. 230 00:08:25,063 --> 00:08:27,672 (chanting): MVP, MVP! 231 00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:31,267 Oh, my gosh, look at that thing, it's huge. 232 00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,919 That's what she said. 233 00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:34,904 That is what she said, 'cause she's 234 00:08:34,998 --> 00:08:36,497 very confused right now. 235 00:08:36,591 --> 00:08:37,349 What's wrong with my TV? 236 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,908 We can't watch the Super Bowl 237 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,593 on something that small. 238 00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:43,429 It would just be... the Bowl. 239 00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:45,749 Okay, well, I-I don't really want my place 240 00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,008 to look like a sports bar. 241 00:08:47,176 --> 00:08:48,175 I thought it was our place. 242 00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:49,361 And if this was a sports bar, 243 00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:50,862 there would be a TV in the bathroom, 244 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,605 which... Hold on a second. 245 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,608 No, this thing is way too big. 246 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,351 We'd have to get a new TV stand. 247 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,262 I'll mount the TV on the wall. 248 00:08:59,281 --> 00:09:00,430 Well, where am I going to hang 249 00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,265 the caricatures of the cats? 250 00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:03,750 I mean, Snowball as an astronaut 251 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,043 is not only a subtle commentary 252 00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,452 on the lack of female representation 253 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,755 in the space program, it's friggin' adorable. 254 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,716 Why are you so upset? 255 00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:13,610 I got this to make your party better. 256 00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:15,554 Yeah, but you didn't even check with me first. 257 00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,447 Well, I didn't know I needed to ask permission 258 00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:20,041 to buy something for our apartment. 259 00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,451 We're low on toilet paper. 260 00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,453 Should we have a meeting before I go get some? 261 00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:26,306 If the toilet paper's the size of a bus, yes. 262 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,548 You don't like where I put my computer, 263 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,234 you don't like where I put my deodorant, 264 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:30,384 you don't like where I put my socks. 265 00:09:30,462 --> 00:09:32,553 They're in the refrigerator. 266 00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:33,797 I like them cool. 267 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,699 I get hot feet. You know that. 268 00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:41,471 How much do you think I can get for this ugly-ass scarf? 269 00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:42,472 Hey, that's mine. 270 00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:44,082 And you can have it back for 20 bucks. 271 00:09:44,309 --> 00:09:47,401 Act now, and I'll throw in your ugly-ass sunglasses, too. 272 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:49,904 Randi, if you can't afford your part of the mortgage, 273 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,923 you've got to be honest with Carter. 274 00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:53,499 No, no, I can pay my half. 275 00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:55,093 Between extra tips, selling a few things, 276 00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:57,596 and, ooh, I'm not gonna be able to make your Super Bowl party. 277 00:09:57,747 --> 00:10:00,915 Why? You're my hottest friend. I like to show you off. 278 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,009 Well, I have to drive Uber that day. 279 00:10:03,178 --> 00:10:04,844 You took a second job? 280 00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:07,513 Randi, you've just got to tell him. 281 00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,332 Beyoncé will understand. 282 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,775 She wrote "Bills, Bills, Bills." 283 00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,569 I see you, Queen B. 284 00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:14,762 It's fine. 285 00:10:14,856 --> 00:10:17,098 By the way, have you been working out? 286 00:10:17,192 --> 00:10:21,344 Because you are putting the "ass" in fantastic. 287 00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:23,513 I know what you're doing. 288 00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:25,206 And it's working. 289 00:10:27,018 --> 00:10:28,275 Hey-hey, I bought booze for your Super Bowl party. 290 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,961 All from the top shelf... 291 00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:32,188 -of the storage room. -(chuckles) Great. 292 00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,540 I'm making my Reggie White Bean Salad, 293 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:35,708 my Jerry Rice Pudding, 294 00:10:35,861 --> 00:10:38,361 and Bill "Belichicken" Fingers. 295 00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:39,304 Oh, cool. 296 00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:41,139 Remind me, we got to eat before we go. 297 00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,290 Actually, I don't think I'm gonna make it. 298 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,644 What? How can you miss the Super Bowl? 299 00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:47,704 Lady stuff. 300 00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,064 Say less. 301 00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,318 You know, I think this entertainment center 302 00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,469 is the perfect solution to our problem. 303 00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:56,396 It really is. 304 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,305 I get a place to put my sweet new TV, 305 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,900 and you get four more drawers for cat crap. 306 00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:02,886 (laughs) All right, let's get to it. 307 00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:05,388 Time for my favorite step: Inventory. 308 00:11:05,407 --> 00:11:08,908 Uh, looks like we've got some long screws 309 00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,226 and a couple of nuts. 310 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:11,411 That's what she said. 311 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,488 Nailed it. Also what she said. 312 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:18,159 Ooh, we've also got an exciting array of dowels. 313 00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:20,069 Whoa, what are you doing? 314 00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:22,180 Manly things. 315 00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,574 No, but you've got to follow the instructions. 316 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,426 It says here right on the instructions. 317 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,335 It says, "Follow the instructions." 318 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,095 Huh. 319 00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:30,914 Let's see. Step one: 320 00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,023 Build the damn thing. 321 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,341 Step two: Napalm life-sized zombies 322 00:11:34,419 --> 00:11:36,403 on my giant, kick-ass TV. 323 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,014 Wha... 324 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,848 Are you out of your mind? 325 00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,659 The warranty card is in there. 326 00:11:46,097 --> 00:11:47,539 (groans) Damn it. 327 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:49,766 You know, we could've just paid the 75 bucks 328 00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:50,709 to have them build it. 329 00:11:50,894 --> 00:11:52,359 For reference, that's the shipping cost 330 00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,462 of all of your moisturizers. 331 00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:57,123 Why isn't this fitting? 332 00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:58,699 Because you're doing it wrong, 333 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,777 which you would know if you had used the instructions. 334 00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,295 I did use the instructions. 335 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,371 Yeah, as a plate for your pizza. 336 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,874 While you wasted a paper plate. 337 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,875 Sorry, Mother Earth, 338 00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:10,211 I guess only one of us loves you. 339 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,397 If I'm doing it wrong, here, you do it. 340 00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,381 Oh, fine. You know what? I will do it. 341 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,401 And I'm gonna use the instructions. 342 00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:18,570 Zucchini. 343 00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:21,740 All right, uh, step 42-C: 344 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:24,242 Slide the upper edge of the left door 345 00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:26,652 into the lower right track. 346 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,687 Wait, so the left door 347 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,323 into the right track? 348 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,992 Well, is this the left door or the right door? 349 00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:34,994 How's it going? 350 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,046 Did you build it yet? 351 00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:39,591 I knew this party was a mistake. 352 00:12:39,742 --> 00:12:40,592 The party is not the problem. 353 00:12:40,819 --> 00:12:42,409 The problem is this big, dumb TV 354 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,245 that you bought without asking me. 355 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,672 It's not a dumb TV, it's a smart TV. 356 00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,658 It says so right on the box. 357 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,343 Wait, I think I got it. 358 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,585 Seriously? 359 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,663 Yup, the door is attached. 360 00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:55,014 It opens and closes. 361 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:56,516 Well, call me Jesus, 362 00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:59,778 because I am a highly skilled Jewish carpenter. 363 00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,597 And it only took four hours, two calls to customer service, 364 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,191 and one trip to urgent care. 365 00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:07,601 I'm sorry, I really was just tossing that mallet at you. 366 00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:09,862 I didn't know that you were gonna catch it with your... 367 00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:10,955 (whistles) 368 00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:13,107 It's okay. It finally dropped. 369 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,443 I think he was just scared more than anything else. 370 00:13:16,538 --> 00:13:20,206 Well, it was not easy, but we did it. 371 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,374 Yeah. 372 00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:24,135 -(sighs) -We made this together. 373 00:13:24,287 --> 00:13:26,863 This must be how parents feel. 374 00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:28,139 You know, proud. 375 00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:29,549 And very, very tired. 376 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,644 Also wondering, like, was it really worth it? 377 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,396 Let's go to bed. 378 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,304 I told you to use the frickin' washers! 379 00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,156 It said they were optional! 380 00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:46,473 Oh, where'd it say that? 381 00:13:46,568 --> 00:13:48,142 In the instructions you didn't read? 382 00:13:48,236 --> 00:13:50,311 I need my nighttime socks. 383 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,996 Wha... 384 00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,580 All right, last call for Super Bowl bets. 385 00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:01,914 Nothing's off limits, 386 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,399 the winner, the score, 387 00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:04,658 how long it'll take for Sheila to tell her story 388 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,328 about how she hooked up with Terry Bradshaw. 389 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,348 I was just trying to make Mean Joe Greene jealous. 390 00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:12,408 Yes! I had "before kickoff." 391 00:14:12,427 --> 00:14:13,667 Carter, let it ride on 392 00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:16,020 "my mother insulting my outfit before halftime." 393 00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:17,671 It is hideous. 394 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,082 And I win again! 395 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,526 Carter, send that 40 bucks straight to my therapist. 396 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,921 Hey, real quick we just want to make a toast. 397 00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:26,531 Hold on, I need a drink. 398 00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,078 Continue. 399 00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,614 Uh, I just wanted to... 400 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,499 Oh, you're gonna talk? 401 00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,454 Um, I just want to thank you all 402 00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:45,049 for coming to my annual Super Bowl party. 403 00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:46,125 I thought it was our party. 404 00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:47,534 I don't recall you 405 00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:50,179 making football-shaped meatballs with mozzarella laces. 406 00:14:51,116 --> 00:14:53,299 Anyway, uh, enjoy yourselves, 407 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,800 and don't forget to try the guacamole 408 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,953 'cause... it's good. 409 00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,564 And I just want to give a special shout-out 410 00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,624 to my personal MVP. 411 00:15:01,717 --> 00:15:04,402 This sick-ass 70-inch ultra-hi-def TV. 412 00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,796 Daddy loves you. 413 00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:07,647 Turn it up. 414 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,073 Yeah, the national anthem's 415 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,658 about to start. 416 00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:13,411 It's not working. 417 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,496 Thanks, Kelly. Big help. 418 00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:17,823 Wait, that's the old remote. 419 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,991 Are you kidding me? 420 00:15:19,144 --> 00:15:20,752 Did you take the new remote to the Goodwill 421 00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:22,253 when you dropped off my old TV? 422 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,738 Uh, maybe, because you made me stay up all night 423 00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,073 rebuilding your stupid TV stand, 424 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,574 and I only got two hours of sleep. 425 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,986 So we have to watch the Super Bowl with no sound? 426 00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:31,763 This is why I hate charity. 427 00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,340 You know, when I got my TV stand, 428 00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:35,600 I just paid a guy 75 bucks... 429 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,176 -Thank you. -Shut it. 430 00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,495 We can just use the volume buttons on the side of the TV. 431 00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:42,923 There are no buttons, it's too awesome and expensive. 432 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,001 It's fine, everybody, I'll do my play-by-play. 433 00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:48,337 Kat fumbles the party, the crowd boos. 434 00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:50,856 Me? Max is the one who gave away the remote 435 00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:53,676 to the giant TV he just had to have. 436 00:15:53,769 --> 00:15:54,768 We don't have time for this. 437 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:55,936 There was just a commercial 438 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,346 with a monkey riding a motorcycle, 439 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,123 and I don't know what I'm supposed to buy! 440 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,607 You've got to go back to the Goodwill 441 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,867 and get the remote. 442 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,295 Fine, but we wouldn't even be in this mess 443 00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:05,871 if you'd have let me have a bathroom TV. 444 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,049 God, my feet are hot. 445 00:16:10,878 --> 00:16:12,211 Uh... 446 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,380 Good news, everybody. 447 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,290 I'm gonna move up the halftime show. 448 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,976 Cat-y Perry, you're on. 449 00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:19,126 You jump to the couch. 450 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,979 You jump to the couch. 451 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,205 It's not working. 452 00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:24,107 Thanks, Kelly. Big help. 453 00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:28,736 Hey. 454 00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:30,546 Hey. 455 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:31,897 Max texted Carter. 456 00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:33,640 Goodwill's still looking for the remote. 457 00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:35,009 But, on the plus side, 458 00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:36,719 he found a pair of corduroy bellbottoms 459 00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:40,164 that "are tight in all the right places." 460 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,459 Are you okay? 461 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,379 It's me and Max. 462 00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:48,339 I don't know. 463 00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,249 Maybe moving in together this soon 464 00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:53,069 -was not the best idea. -Mmm. 465 00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:54,345 It's an adjustment. 466 00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:57,164 You've lived alone most of your life. 467 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,833 It's hard to learn to compromise 468 00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:02,520 for the first time at the age of 45. 469 00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,930 Mother, I'm only 40. 470 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,192 You are? Dear Lord. 471 00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:12,679 And I'm compromising. 472 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,848 We bought his brand of toilet paper. 473 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,778 I haven't walked right in two days, but I'm trying. 474 00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:20,112 Listen, I know. 475 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,265 Changing your ways can feel like 476 00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,375 you're giving away a little bit of yourself, 477 00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,543 but remember, 478 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:28,713 you're getting something wonderful in return. 479 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,007 Max. 480 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,051 Yeah. 481 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:34,886 Max. 482 00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,946 Max, who has a 45-minute 483 00:17:36,964 --> 00:17:38,222 daily skin-care routine. 484 00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:40,116 I literally heard him say, 485 00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:43,144 "I just want to look better than Paul Rudd." 486 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,622 Look, in a lot of ways, 487 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:49,475 men are impossible, so you have two options: 488 00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:51,143 Learn to live with them, 489 00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:53,796 or wear that exact outfit to a lesbian bar 490 00:17:53,815 --> 00:17:56,032 and get on with your life. 491 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,970 Yeah, I'm parked right out front. 492 00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,729 License plate "HURRYUP." 493 00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,582 (laughs) Just a coincidence. 494 00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,459 Yeah, see you soon. 495 00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:08,661 (knock on window) 496 00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,404 Wrong car, wrong night! 497 00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:12,072 Carter? 498 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,332 What are you doing here? 499 00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:15,927 I had to pick up a universal TV remote. 500 00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:19,263 Long story short, white friends. 501 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,507 -Hey, are you Randi? -Yes. 502 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,416 Who the hell are you? 503 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,584 Joel. Am I in the right car? 504 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,844 -No. -Yes. 505 00:18:24,996 --> 00:18:25,845 Should I get out? 506 00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:26,771 -Yes. -No. 507 00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,331 BOTH: Okay, what's going on? 508 00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,834 I started driving Uber to make a little extra money. 509 00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:32,668 What? 510 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:33,869 I have a flight to catch 511 00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,696 in an hour, so could we maybe... 512 00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:38,190 Ooh, bottled water. 513 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:42,011 My half of the mortgage was more than I thought. 514 00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,121 Like a lot more. 515 00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:44,363 Like, if you can afford that, 516 00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:46,273 why the hell was my Valentine's gift 517 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,566 a coupon to unload the dishwasher? 518 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,611 It was a series of coupons, including a free hug 519 00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:51,704 and a free back rub. 520 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,189 And they were all for the same reason. 521 00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:54,523 I was hoping they would lead to sex. 522 00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,967 I really do need to get to the airport. 523 00:18:56,194 --> 00:18:58,194 Joel, you're a man traveling on Super Bowl Sunday. 524 00:18:58,196 --> 00:18:59,971 Your needs mean nothing to me. 525 00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,141 Didn't I tell you I would cover your part of the mortgage? 526 00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,201 No, no, I can pay my fair share. 527 00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:06,811 I've never had to rely on anybody, 528 00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:08,295 and I'm not about to start now. 529 00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:09,963 Baby, we about to be married. 530 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,465 We're a team. 531 00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:13,042 Like Jay and Beyoncé. 532 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,801 Barack and Michelle. 533 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,136 Oprah and Gayle. 534 00:19:16,305 --> 00:19:18,764 You know, my mother and I were in a similar situation. 535 00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,884 We agreed to pay our rent on a sliding scale based on income. 536 00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,494 Damn it, would you mind your own... 537 00:19:24,555 --> 00:19:27,314 Actually, Boy Kat back here has a good idea. 538 00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:29,408 What do you think, baby? 539 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,578 I just don't want you to think I'm taking advantage. 540 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,840 I don't. I think it's fair. 541 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,051 Okay, then I'm in. 542 00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:42,180 You guys make an adorable couple. 543 00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:43,923 Can I take a picture of you 544 00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:45,408 and tell my mom that we're dating? 545 00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:46,242 Excuse me? 546 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,394 And ride cancelled. 547 00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,359 (whistle blows on TV) 548 00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,010 All right, that's the end of the third quarter, 549 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,271 and Sheila won again? 550 00:19:59,424 --> 00:20:00,347 (laughs) 551 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,016 I've got racks on racks on racks. 552 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,119 I hate that I taught you that. 553 00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:12,526 Everyone's having a good time at your party. 554 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,545 Our party. 555 00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:17,773 I think it's 'cause they love your TV. 556 00:20:17,942 --> 00:20:19,592 Our TV. 557 00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:22,703 No, it's my TV. (laughs) 558 00:20:22,797 --> 00:20:25,130 But I should've talked to you before I bought it. 559 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,132 Yeah, you should've. 560 00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:29,802 But I got to be more flexible. 561 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,729 BOTH: That's what she said. 562 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,290 And I've got to compromise. 563 00:20:34,308 --> 00:20:37,142 And I have definitely got to go back to my old toilet paper. 564 00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,570 I've been to hell and back with your one-ply. 565 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,389 Listen, we're figuring it out. 566 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,800 The good news is I think I've finally gotten the hang 567 00:20:44,819 --> 00:20:46,652 of how you organize the fridge. 568 00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:47,803 (chuckling): Oh. 569 00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:49,080 Not even close. 570 00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:51,398 Cheese and lettuce in the same drawer? 571 00:20:51,492 --> 00:20:53,459 I had to sit down. 572 00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:58,381 Ow! One-ply! 573 00:21:00,909 --> 00:21:03,344 ("Stick Together" by Freedust plays) 574 00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:07,080 ♪ I tried to shake this bad dream ♪ 575 00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:08,248 ♪ All alone ♪ 576 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,600 ♪ But I can't believe my eyes ♪ 577 00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,102 ♪ As I reach for my phone ♪ 578 00:21:11,329 --> 00:21:13,771 ♪ So I call up my mother, call up my friends ♪ 579 00:21:13,922 --> 00:21:16,941 ♪ Is this the world we have to live in? ♪ 580 00:21:17,134 --> 00:21:18,943 ♪ The city's on fire ♪ 581 00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:20,336 ♪ Everyone's tired ♪ 582 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,521 ♪ We're walking on wires ♪ 583 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,948 ♪ Just to keep quiet ♪ 584 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,284 ♪ Counting the hours down till the end ♪ 585 00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:29,287 ♪ Just trying to make some sense ♪ 586 00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:32,515 ♪ We are all, we are all ♪ 587 00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,533 ♪ We need. ♪ 588 00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:36,352 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 589 00:21:36,354 --> 00:21:39,046 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org