1
00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:05,320
♪ She took the last train ♪
2
00:00:05,414 --> 00:00:09,049
♪ Home. ♪
3
00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:13,828
(whooping)
4
00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:16,590
Max Kingbird! Rock star!
You can do better than that.
5
00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:17,850
Oh, the crowd, not you, Max.
6
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,426
You're awesome.
You're a rock star!
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,354
Thank you for that
enthusiastic response
8
00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:24,765
to a song about
my cousin's depression.
9
00:00:24,917 --> 00:00:27,008
I'm gonna take a break now.
10
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,193
Yeah, if you like that song,
11
00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,654
wait'll you hear the one
about his dead dog.
12
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:32,606
Great set, man.
13
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:33,866
I'm gonna have to up your pay.
14
00:00:34,093 --> 00:00:35,350
I sing for free.
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,368
Not anymore.
16
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:37,870
Here's some curly fries.
17
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,615
Sheila, Carter and I
are remodeling.
18
00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:42,857
What do you think
about this kitchen?
19
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,601
I'm going for
"having our friends over
20
00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:47,195
and making them feel crappy
about their lives."
21
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,864
Well, you know, I used to be
an interior designer,
22
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,108
if you'd like some help.
23
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,367
Oh, I didn't know you did that.
24
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,778
Yes. This was back
in New York in the '70s.
25
00:00:54,797 --> 00:00:59,283
Lots of shag carpeting and
chairs shaped like mushrooms.
26
00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:01,602
My God, we were high.
27
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,807
("Gotta Go" by Kilgore playing)
28
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:07,900
Hey, Max.
29
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:10,477
♪ We'll disappear
into the night ♪
30
00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:12,813
♪ Just like the sun... ♪
31
00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:14,239
Dad?
32
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:16,149
♪ I don't know... ♪
33
00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:18,410
Long time no see.
34
00:01:19,488 --> 00:01:20,579
You got big.
35
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:22,539
Yeah, 30 years'll do that.
36
00:01:24,643 --> 00:01:26,126
Can-can we sit down?
37
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:29,070
You can.
I'm out of here.
38
00:01:29,164 --> 00:01:31,406
♪ Got to, got to go ♪
39
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,759
♪ We got to, got to go... ♪
40
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,486
That was Max's father?
41
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:39,431
He left when Max was,
like, ten.
42
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,766
This is not good.
43
00:01:40,993 --> 00:01:43,660
Good-looking man,
no wedding ring.
44
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:46,897
I could be your mother
and your mother-in-law.
45
00:01:47,666 --> 00:01:50,025
And it just got worse.
46
00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:52,945
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
47
00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:56,006
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
48
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,950
Max, hold on.
49
00:01:58,101 --> 00:01:59,767
I want to talk to you.
50
00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:00,619
Really?
51
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:02,512
How did you even find me?
52
00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:04,939
Your Aunt Joyce
posted about your show.
53
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,458
It was "QAnon, QAnon,
54
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,610
"my nephew Max
is a big-time singer,
55
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,778
QAnon, cat video."
56
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,857
Look, I don't know
what you want from me,
57
00:02:14,026 --> 00:02:17,027
but I got a set to finish and...
Guys,
58
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,096
I can see you
through the window.
59
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,200
Look, Max, I'm not the guy
I used to be.
60
00:02:23,218 --> 00:02:25,202
-(sighs)
-I quit drinking.
61
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:26,645
Again?
62
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:30,390
Oh! Oh, look who's here.
I didn't know you were out here.
63
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,708
I just, uh...
64
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:35,654
I was at the more shops
and additional parking.
65
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,214
Hi, I'm... I'm Kat.
66
00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:38,565
I'm Max's girlfriend.
67
00:02:38,642 --> 00:02:41,994
Hi, I'm Max's father, Dan,
and, uh, I'm...
68
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,121
Leaving. He's leaving.
69
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,390
Right.
70
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:51,128
Look, here's my number
if you want to have dinner.
71
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:54,656
Damn, these guys age well.
72
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,918
Makes me wish I had started
wearing sunscreen years ago.
73
00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:01,847
You know, I'm his girlfriend,
so I'm just gonna take that.
74
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:03,140
(chuckles)
75
00:03:05,911 --> 00:03:08,103
well, I hope to hear
from you, Max.
76
00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:12,082
Are you okay?
77
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,433
Yeah, fine.
78
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,860
Are you gonna
have dinner with him?
79
00:03:15,087 --> 00:03:15,861
Why would I?
80
00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:17,437
Aren't you curious?
81
00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:18,680
I-I can't deal with this
right now.
82
00:03:18,774 --> 00:03:20,607
I have a set to finish...
Guys,
83
00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:22,534
I can still see you.
84
00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:27,021
Tell me, what kind of vibe
85
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,356
do you want for your kitchen?
86
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,117
We want it to feel
very inviting.
87
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:34,287
Like, like where Martha Stewart
could roll croissants
88
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:36,381
and Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt.
89
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,218
Yeah, and the countertops
need to be able to hold
90
00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:42,036
both of our body weights.
91
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,639
No reason.
92
00:03:45,617 --> 00:03:47,133
Here you go, Sheila.
93
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:48,618
Oh, you're looking clean, man.
94
00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:51,063
You got the second-best
haircut in the room.
95
00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:52,380
(chuckles) Thank you.
96
00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,066
Yeah, Max sent him
to his stylist.
97
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:57,143
Oh, she washed my hair,
gave me a shoulder massage,
98
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,737
then she used a blow-dryer,
99
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:00,555
so I guess I got
my first blow...
100
00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,799
No, that's different,
that's different.
101
00:04:02,818 --> 00:04:03,967
Oh.
102
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,653
This is beautiful.
103
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,896
Have you thought
of a feature wall,
104
00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,807
maybe with reclaimed wood?
105
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,494
I once built a whole barn
out of another barn.
106
00:04:14,646 --> 00:04:16,237
The circle of barns.
107
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:19,332
That's actually
a very good idea.
108
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,409
You know, I would be happy
to give you a hand
109
00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:22,261
with construction.
110
00:04:22,412 --> 00:04:24,429
I've built more than just barns.
111
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,824
Hay lofts, horse paddocks,
a Dairy Queen.
112
00:04:27,843 --> 00:04:28,842
Really?
113
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:30,918
Yeah.
The only thing I can't build is
114
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,829
a family of my own.
115
00:04:32,848 --> 00:04:35,065
(sighs)
116
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:39,278
Morning.
117
00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:41,929
Oh, hey there.
Did you get my email?
118
00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:43,690
I did.
119
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:46,100
I've never gotten an Evite
to take a sexy shower before.
120
00:04:46,194 --> 00:04:48,102
I RSVP'd yes and commented
121
00:04:48,196 --> 00:04:50,514
"I would loofah to join you."
122
00:04:50,532 --> 00:04:53,350
I don't know if your party
is private or not,
123
00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:54,626
but if you want to invite me,
124
00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:56,461
I do now have an email.
125
00:04:56,613 --> 00:04:59,965
It's Gideon, Hezekiah,
Zechariah, Jebediah, Jedidiah,
126
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,858
one, two, two, five--
that's Christmas--
127
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,927
@aol.com.
128
00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:06,212
So, the same as your Instagram.
129
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,365
Max, have you given
any more thought
130
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:09,716
to having dinner with your dad?
131
00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:12,293
I've been thinking more about
this sexy shower...
132
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:15,430
that I'm now realizing
is in three weeks.
133
00:05:15,541 --> 00:05:18,708
There's nothing sexier
than planning ahead.
134
00:05:18,727 --> 00:05:19,801
(scoffs)
135
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,227
As far as my dad-- you're right,
136
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,063
I should probably
hear what he has to say.
137
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:24,489
But you're coming with me.
138
00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:25,640
I'm not sitting there
alone with him.
139
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,217
Great.
I will set it up.
140
00:05:27,235 --> 00:05:28,735
Mm, more planning.
141
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,145
I'm gonna add it
to our shared calendar.
142
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,314
-(phone vibrates)
-Oh.
143
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:37,410
Roy and Amanda just RSVP'ed
yes to the sexy shower.
144
00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:39,563
Roy and Amanda?
145
00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:41,247
Oh, no.
146
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,324
I sent this Evite
to my book club?
147
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:44,760
(groans)
148
00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:49,514
So after my father passed,
I thought to myself,
149
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,925
"Is teaching mathematics
really my life's purpose?"
150
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:55,169
No, so I opened a café
where you can get coffee
151
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,097
and muffins
and snuggle with cats.
152
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:58,582
I know you know all this,
153
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,084
but I can't assume
he watches the show.
154
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:02,844
So, how long have you and Max
been together?
155
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,011
About four months.
156
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,406
But we've been best friends
since college.
157
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,441
We still think he's coming?
158
00:06:08,594 --> 00:06:10,427
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
159
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:11,945
He's just...
he's just running late.
160
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,780
You know, he-he booked
studio time,
161
00:06:13,949 --> 00:06:16,691
he's recording a demo,
trying to get signed by a label.
162
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,377
He's actually really good.
163
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:20,545
He's like Elton John
in Tom Brady's body. (chuckles)
164
00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:23,548
-Well, definitely better than
the other way around.
-(laughs)
165
00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:27,034
I've never been to
an Ethiopian restaurant before.
166
00:06:27,112 --> 00:06:28,294
And I'm loving this.
167
00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:30,447
Microwaves should come with
a preset button--
168
00:06:30,465 --> 00:06:32,891
popcorn, baked potato,
hot towel.
169
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:33,892
(sniffs)
170
00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:35,619
You're gonna love the food.
171
00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:38,471
I got a taste for it
when I was working in Africa.
172
00:06:38,624 --> 00:06:40,882
Africa, wow.
173
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,067
Do you miss "the rains"?
174
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:43,902
(chuckles)
Toto?
175
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:46,129
No? No Toto?
176
00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:47,964
So, Dan, what do you do
for living?
177
00:06:47,983 --> 00:06:50,057
Well, you know those
big oil pipelines
178
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:51,076
everyone likes to protest?
179
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:53,319
Get out.
You're an eco-warrior?
180
00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:55,138
Close.
I laid the pipes.
181
00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:57,416
-Oh.
-Anyway, now I volunteer
for a charity
182
00:06:57,643 --> 00:06:59,993
that brings fresh water
to rural villages.
183
00:07:00,145 --> 00:07:01,753
Oh, that's so inspiring.
184
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:04,314
You're like Gandhi
in Tom Brady's body.
185
00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:06,983
No, please,
that guy is so overrated.
186
00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:08,576
-Gandhi, not Tom Brady.
-(chuckles)
187
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,837
Yeah, I mean,
Gandhi beat the British empire,
188
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,006
but Tom Brady beat
the 2017 Falcons
189
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,582
after being down 28-3
190
00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:16,918
with two minutes left
in the third, so... GOAT.
191
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,011
(laughs)
192
00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:20,180
(phone vibrates)
193
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:21,440
Oh, no.
194
00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:22,832
Everything okay?
195
00:07:22,851 --> 00:07:26,260
Yeah, it's just
Max's session is running long.
196
00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:27,687
He's not gonna
be able to make dinner.
197
00:07:27,839 --> 00:07:29,689
Well, I can't say I blame him.
198
00:07:29,841 --> 00:07:31,616
Anyway, it was nice
meeting you,
199
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,453
and I'm just glad Max found
someone who makes him happy.
200
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,770
Wait, hang on.
201
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:38,348
We're both here.
We're both hungry.
202
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:39,683
Why don't we just have dinner?
203
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:41,017
Really?
You sure?
204
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:44,463
Yeah, we can talk more football
like, uh, Tom Brady.
205
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:45,855
Too pretty?
206
00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:47,299
Okay. And yes.
207
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:48,541
(laughs)
208
00:07:48,694 --> 00:07:50,969
All right.
What should I have to drink?
209
00:07:51,162 --> 00:07:54,547
They got a keribo, a cheka.
210
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,123
A "spree-tay"?
211
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,519
-Uh, that's just Sprite.
-Oh.
212
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:09,212
This is so good.
Max would love this.
213
00:08:09,305 --> 00:08:10,471
Really?
214
00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:13,307
The Max I remember
wasn't an adventurous eater.
215
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,309
He would only eat foods
he could draw.
216
00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:18,830
Well, he has certainly
broadened his horizons.
217
00:08:18,982 --> 00:08:20,665
He's traveled
all over the world.
218
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,335
He can order chicken nuggets
in 12 different languages.
219
00:08:23,486 --> 00:08:25,337
There was a time
I could order whiskey neat
220
00:08:25,488 --> 00:08:26,838
-in 12 different languages.
-(chuckles)
221
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,916
Really, you just say,
"whiskey neat."
222
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:32,085
Yeah, Max told me
you stopped drinking.
223
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:33,178
That's great.
224
00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:37,407
I've got a little over a year.
It's the longest I've ever gone.
225
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,592
I promised myself I wouldn't
reach out to Max again
226
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,077
until it stuck.
227
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,580
I didn't know
you reached out to him before.
228
00:08:43,598 --> 00:08:45,690
Only 30, 40 times.
229
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:49,194
To be fair, a lot of those
were just me drunkenly singing
230
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:51,421
"Cat's in the Cradle"
on his voice mail.
231
00:08:51,439 --> 00:08:53,940
So that's why
he hates that song.
232
00:08:54,092 --> 00:08:55,700
Did you ever sing him
"Come On Eileen?"
233
00:08:55,927 --> 00:08:58,611
Oh, I had my moments,
but I was never that drunk.
234
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,430
(laughs)
235
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:01,706
What up, YouTube?
236
00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:04,859
And welcome to the premiere
episode of Hot Lots.
237
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,603
-This is our lot.
-And I'm hot.
238
00:09:06,696 --> 00:09:08,195
Eh, and I'm here, too.
239
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,789
We are gonna document
240
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,125
the amazing transformation
of our home.
241
00:09:12,277 --> 00:09:13,610
We're gonna turn
this condominium
242
00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:14,702
into a condo-maximum.
243
00:09:14,796 --> 00:09:15,945
-(chuckles)
-That's right.
244
00:09:15,964 --> 00:09:17,797
And if there are
any sponsors out there
245
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:19,282
who want to give us free stuff,
we're open to anything.
246
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,617
Even naming rights.
247
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:23,970
Like, over here could be
the Circuit City doorway.
248
00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:28,215
Or around the corner we can have
the Souplantation laundry nook.
249
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,569
(chuckles) Yeah.
Laundry and farting nook.
250
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:32,571
-What?
-What?
251
00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:34,072
That's why people watch us.
252
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:36,390
They love those
classic Carter moments.
253
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,576
(chuckling)
254
00:09:37,803 --> 00:09:40,745
Well, let me introduce you
to our dream team.
255
00:09:40,972 --> 00:09:45,208
Our wonderful designer,
Sheila Silver.
256
00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:47,902
Oh, hello.
257
00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:50,997
I... I didn't realize
you'd be filming today.
258
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:54,593
I wouldn't have worn
this ratty old thing.
259
00:09:55,912 --> 00:10:00,599
And our contractor,
Gideon Yoderman.
260
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:01,600
Hey, y'all.
261
00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:04,010
I am excited about
this renovation.
262
00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:07,180
And yes, ladies, I'm single.
263
00:10:07,332 --> 00:10:10,350
I enjoy hiking,
carpentry, and sex.
264
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:12,352
Hey, the show
is called Hot Lots,
265
00:10:12,504 --> 00:10:14,529
not Gideon Gets His Freak On.
266
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:17,949
Okay, so, what do we do first?
267
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,009
Well, I know y'all want
to open up this kitchen,
268
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:22,770
so we need to take down
this entire wall.
269
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,106
We just need to make sure
that there's no duct work,
270
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,941
plumbing, or electrical inside.
271
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,534
So how do we check for all that?
272
00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:31,855
Well, my cousin Ernie would put
one foot in a bucket of water
273
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,206
and then reach his hand
inside the wall
274
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,799
to see if he could
find anything.
275
00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:37,135
Oh, sorry--
my late cousin Ernie.
276
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,862
CARTER:
Well, maybe cousin Ernie
277
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:41,640
needed a sledgehammer!
(grunts)
278
00:10:45,294 --> 00:10:47,646
Yep, there's electrical inside.
279
00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:49,648
♪ ♪
280
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,983
(snoring)
281
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:56,196
(clears throat)
282
00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:05,221
(snorts, grunts)
283
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,240
What's going on?
Oh, oh, you're awake?
284
00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:08,241
Oh.
285
00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:09,167
Hey.
286
00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:11,761
Oh, I didn't hear you
come in last night.
287
00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,730
I had a really interesting
dinner with your dad.
288
00:11:13,823 --> 00:11:15,081
We had Ethiopian food.
289
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,400
Did you know he volunteers
for a charity in Africa?
290
00:11:17,493 --> 00:11:19,326
Also, why don't you like
the song "Come On Eileen"?
291
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,513
-That's a heck of a tune.
-(groans)
292
00:11:21,589 --> 00:11:24,165
-Good morning to you, too.
-Sorry.
293
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:25,408
You just...
294
00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:26,910
You said you were
gonna come last night.
295
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:28,353
What happened?
296
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:29,913
(sighs)
Well...
297
00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:31,856
I got done recording,
I got in my car
298
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,341
and then I realized,
"Screw this."
299
00:11:34,419 --> 00:11:36,269
I-I got nothing
but bad feelings for him.
300
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:39,197
-Okay, but it seems like
he's on a good path.
-(scoffs)
301
00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:41,274
Well, you had
one dinner with him,
302
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,184
so you probably know him
better than I do.
303
00:11:43,278 --> 00:11:45,537
Okay.
Max, I'm-I'm only pushing this
304
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:49,115
because I know that you
miss having a dad around.
305
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:50,208
You wrote that beautiful song
306
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:52,268
about wanting
to reconnect with him.
307
00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:53,194
So?
308
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,270
Mariah Carey wrote a song called
309
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:55,880
"All I Want
for Christmas Is You,"
310
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,633
but you know she wants
more for Christmas.
311
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:02,637
Why are you being so stubborn?
312
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,135
I used to wake up on Saturday
mornings to watch cartoons...
313
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,563
...find him passed out
on the couch,
314
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,048
turn his head to the side so he
wouldn't choke on his own vomit
315
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,959
and then sit down
to watch Scooby-Doo.
316
00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:20,447
He would've died if it wasn't
for this meddling kid.
317
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:23,825
So please, just drop it.
318
00:12:24,727 --> 00:12:26,152
I think you're making a mistake.
319
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,895
What part of
"I don't want to see him"
320
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,988
don't you get?
321
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:30,248
I know you think
322
00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:31,899
the world is all rainbows
and cat memes,
323
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:35,645
but this is my life, Kat,
and it's none of your business.
324
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,213
(door closes)
325
00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:44,929
What's up, cuz?
326
00:12:45,081 --> 00:12:46,322
What's going on here?
327
00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:48,374
You got a court date?
A funeral?
328
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:50,584
Faking a funeral
to get out of a court date?
329
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,996
(chuckling)
I was at Grandma's last night.
330
00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:54,272
She said she wants me
to get a job
331
00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:58,668
where I wear a suit and tie,
so I got one.
332
00:12:58,686 --> 00:13:00,686
Really?
What is it?
333
00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,531
Vice president
of beer distribution.
334
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:07,343
Here you go, sir.
335
00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,162
Distributed.
336
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,347
CARTER:
Hey, Max.
337
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:12,849
Give me a double shot
of tequila.
338
00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:15,376
Sorry, my department
only handles beer.
339
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,296
You okay?
340
00:13:18,523 --> 00:13:19,355
Nope.
341
00:13:19,374 --> 00:13:21,541
-This about your dad?
-Yep.
342
00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:23,693
You haven't had a drink
in a couple of months.
343
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:24,877
Sure the best time to have one
344
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,430
is when your alcoholic father
comes back?
345
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:29,532
Seems perfect to me.
346
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:32,143
All right.
I can give you a drink.
347
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,054
Or... I can give you
a sledgehammer
348
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,207
and you can go to my place
and smash stuff up.
349
00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:39,709
Anybody there gonna have any
350
00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:41,635
big feelings about my life?
351
00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:45,240
If they do,
you're holding a sledgehammer.
352
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:53,222
If I put this video
on my dating profile,
353
00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:55,224
you think women'll
buy that it's me?
354
00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:56,909
Swipe right if you like a guy
355
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,837
who swings a big hammer.
356
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:02,039
That's gonna attract
the naughty girls. (chuckles)
357
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,758
So I'm gonna use it.
(laughs)
358
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:06,736
(Max grunting)
359
00:14:06,754 --> 00:14:08,588
("Godspeed Your Love"
by David Segall playing)
360
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,365
What's up, Kat?
361
00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:11,516
Hey, Carter.
362
00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:13,242
Look at this.
363
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:15,578
Who goes to a bar
and leaves this behind?
364
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:18,940
Was it a mistake,
was it a warning?
365
00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:21,175
What are you looking at?
366
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,070
-What's it to you, chump?
-Aah!
367
00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:28,608
Have you seen Max?
368
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,760
He went to our place
to help with the demo.
369
00:14:30,853 --> 00:14:32,445
He seemed pretty upset.
370
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:35,522
Do you ever see somebody
making a mistake,
371
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,284
but you just don't know
how to help them?
372
00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:39,619
(grunts)
373
00:14:39,771 --> 00:14:41,287
Is this about Max and his dad?
374
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,863
Yeah.
375
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,216
Max could finally
have a father in his life,
376
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,235
but he just won't even
give him a chance.
377
00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:50,279
There's a better chance
that dummy's body walks over,
378
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:52,373
grabs his head
and walks out of here.
379
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:55,018
What I'm saying
is that's not gonna happen.
380
00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:57,604
Right?
381
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,140
Why not?
382
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,902
I can't tell you
how many times a day
383
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:05,219
I wish I had just
384
00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:07,388
five more minutes with my dad.
385
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:10,149
You want more time
with your dad.
386
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:13,661
That doesn't mean
Max wants the same thing.
387
00:15:14,822 --> 00:15:16,581
But maybe it's about
what he needs.
388
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:19,809
What he needs is a girlfriend
who supports him.
389
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:20,919
I support...
390
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:23,963
The way he wants you to.
391
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,091
Okay.
392
00:15:28,503 --> 00:15:30,244
But I just want to leave open
the possibility
393
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,505
that everybody's wrong but me.
394
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:34,265
(chuckling)
395
00:15:34,342 --> 00:15:36,342
-Thank you, Carter.
-Hey, anytime.
396
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,920
♪ Never loved a girl like you. ♪
397
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,773
Hi, Carter.
398
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,524
Aah!
399
00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:46,260
♪ ♪
400
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,096
Well, how about that?
401
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:52,099
My video of me swinging
my sledgehammer
402
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:55,361
in my tank top has gotten me
quite a few likes.
403
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:56,529
Swipe right,
404
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,030
swipe right...
405
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,791
Oh, I know her.
406
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,442
Swipe right.
407
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,609
Hey, Max, you feeling better?
408
00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:04,611
I really do care about
your mental health,
409
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,038
but I also could use
my bathroom demo-ed.
410
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,281
Oh, Carter didn't say
411
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,633
anything about
redoing the bathroom.
412
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:11,636
No, he didn't, but once Max
knocks down a wall down,
413
00:16:11,863 --> 00:16:13,045
I mean, we got to do something.
414
00:16:13,198 --> 00:16:15,456
I was thinking maybe
a walk-in steam shower
415
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,550
with chromotherapy light,
eight body jets,
416
00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:18,868
and 16-inch rain shower.
417
00:16:18,886 --> 00:16:20,979
Is just something
that popped into my head.
418
00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,464
Sorry if I got kind of crazy.
419
00:16:23,558 --> 00:16:27,043
It's just, seeing my dad
brings everything back again.
420
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:29,879
Oh, trust me, I get it.
My mom drives me nuts.
421
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:32,824
She calls me once a month to
complain that I don't call her
422
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:34,400
and then criticizes me
for a hour.
423
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,143
That's why
I don't call you, bitch.
424
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,905
Am I awful that I won't even
sit down with him?
425
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,499
I don't think so.
426
00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:43,484
Families are complicated.
427
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,486
I mean, I know that
I've never been
428
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,155
what my father thought
I should be.
429
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,900
I was never strong enough,
430
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:52,568
never pious enough,
431
00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:54,595
never serious enough.
432
00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:57,740
Well, you know what, Father?
433
00:16:57,833 --> 00:17:01,060
You were never kind enough.
434
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:05,414
Never patient enough.
435
00:17:05,508 --> 00:17:06,983
Never...
436
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,986
...loving enough.
437
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,640
Is that why you left?
438
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,993
It was a big part of it.
439
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,112
I knew if I left I could
440
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,540
maybe finally be happy.
441
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,269
But I also knew
442
00:17:26,287 --> 00:17:28,629
I would never
see my family again.
443
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,968
Damn.
That's a lot to carry.
444
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,538
I know you're in a tough spot,
445
00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:39,782
but take it from me--
446
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,117
it's okay
447
00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:44,562
to let go of someone
who's not good for you.
448
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,622
Even if, deep down,
449
00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:49,025
you love them.
450
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:51,794
Thanks, man.
451
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:55,648
Damn, now y'all got me
thinking about my mama.
452
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,993
Come on, let's go make some room
for that steam shower.
453
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,733
(knocking)
454
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,477
♪ ♪
455
00:18:08,496 --> 00:18:10,129
Dan?
456
00:18:10,998 --> 00:18:12,815
This is a dramatic development.
457
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:15,426
♪ Dan, Dan, Dan! ♪
458
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,247
-Hey.
-Hi. Uh, come on in.
459
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,874
Thanks.
460
00:18:22,026 --> 00:18:23,843
Whoa. I saw something
like that once
461
00:18:23,995 --> 00:18:25,511
on a bad acid trip.
462
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,330
-(laughs)
-Uh,
463
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:29,273
I'm leaving tonight and I, uh,
464
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,110
I-I picked you up
a little something.
465
00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:34,837
Oh.
(laughing)
466
00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:36,172
A hot towel kit.
467
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,009
Well, it was either that
or a six pack of "Spree-tay."
468
00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:41,768
Thanks.
469
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:43,770
Uh...
470
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,181
listen, I, uh...
471
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:46,916
I got a favor to ask.
472
00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:49,610
Uh, maybe we could
stay in touch.
473
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:53,756
You could let me know
what's going on with Max?
474
00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,193
Look, um...
475
00:18:57,211 --> 00:18:59,378
I know you're really trying,
476
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:00,529
but I think...
477
00:19:00,548 --> 00:19:02,640
I think that has to be
Max's decision.
478
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,143
Yeah.
479
00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,562
No, I-I get it, uh...
480
00:19:09,056 --> 00:19:10,539
Well, it, uh, you know,
481
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:13,893
uh, maybe we'll see
each other again someday.
482
00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:16,529
-You, I hope I never see again.
-(chuckles)
483
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:20,032
Hey, Kat, have you seen my...
484
00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:22,827
Dad.
485
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:27,481
Uh, she didn't know
I was coming and, uh,
486
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,960
you know, I-I didn't know
that you were here.
487
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,465
Take care.
488
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,417
Hang on.
489
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,052
Yeah?
490
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,181
I-I... Hold on a sec.
491
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:45,474
I just...
I can't, with that.
492
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:50,746
Kat says she thinks
you've changed.
493
00:19:51,599 --> 00:19:54,600
And maybe you are
a different guy now, but...
494
00:19:54,752 --> 00:19:56,527
I don't care.
495
00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,864
I was ten years old
496
00:20:00,091 --> 00:20:01,699
when you walked out.
497
00:20:01,776 --> 00:20:03,075
Ten!
498
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:05,828
Who the hell does that?
499
00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,782
And now you want to come back
and, what, play catch?
500
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,542
No thanks.
501
00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:16,105
You taught me
one thing in life, Dad.
502
00:20:16,123 --> 00:20:18,257
How to get along without you.
503
00:20:19,777 --> 00:20:22,294
So I really do hope that
you've turned your life around,
504
00:20:22,447 --> 00:20:25,139
but I don't
need to be a part of it.
505
00:20:30,621 --> 00:20:32,563
Fair enough.
506
00:20:39,464 --> 00:20:40,629
(exhales)
507
00:20:40,648 --> 00:20:43,890
I know you think
I probably blew my one sh...
508
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,160
(sobbing)
509
00:20:47,989 --> 00:20:50,498
Sorry, I...
I just... I can't...
510
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:55,586
♪ Ooh ♪
511
00:20:57,482 --> 00:20:59,507
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
512
00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:07,172
♪ Over any mountain ♪
513
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,142
♪ Across any sea ♪
514
00:21:11,662 --> 00:21:14,230
♪ There is no distance ♪
515
00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:18,651
♪ That's too far for me ♪
516
00:21:20,354 --> 00:21:23,572
♪ I will be right here ♪
517
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,526
♪ I will be right here ♪
518
00:21:27,678 --> 00:21:29,495
♪ For you ♪
519
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♪ Yes, I'm waiting. ♪
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