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00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,486
♪ ♪
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,563
I broke up with Max last night.
3
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Y'all saw what happened.
4
00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:10,400
If you didn't, go to Hulu
right now, watch.
5
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I'll be waiting right here.
6
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Welcome back, I hope you
enjoyed the episode.
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So Max stormed out and he didn't
come back until after 2:00.
8
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At least I think it was him.
9
00:00:19,336 --> 00:00:20,627
It's also possible I'm being
robbed by someone
10
00:00:20,763 --> 00:00:23,263
who made a Hot Pocket
and slept on the sofa.
11
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Look, ending it was really hard,
12
00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:27,768
but turns out the guy I've been
pining after for 20 years
13
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is a real dick under pressure.
14
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No, thanks.
15
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I'd rather be his friend
than his girlfriend.
16
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And that's what I'm gonna do.
17
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I'm gonna go out there
and be his friend.
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It's not gonna be
awkward at all.
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I'm just gonna go
and be his friend, out there.
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Soon as I get out of bed,
that's what I'm gonna do.
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I'm just gonna move my legs,
and go out there.
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Be his friend.
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Here I go.
24
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Morning.
25
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Hey.
26
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Oh, that didn't feel like
a friend zone "hey."
27
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This might take a little longer
than I thought.
28
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Just got to stay strong.
29
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And stop looking
at his sexy arms.
30
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His sexy legs.
31
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God, it's like there's
nowhere to look.
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So, making pancakes?
33
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Yep.
34
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Nice.
35
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You want some?
36
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I was gonna put bacon in them,
so I made the bacon,
37
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had a bite of the bacon,
and then I realized...
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bacon, you don't need
no pancake,
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you're perfect
just the way you are.
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Ha-ha. Look at that.
He's making jokes.
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Maybe this isn't
gonna be so bad.
42
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This is gonna be like
a conscious uncoupling.
43
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We're gonna be like Gwyneth
and Coldplay.
44
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So, uh, how'd you sleep?
45
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Great.
46
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I'm so glad I gave up
my apartment
47
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to move in with my girlfriend
and then get dumped
48
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and sleep on her pull-out couch.
49
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Oh.
50
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,613
That one's yours.
51
00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:57,432
Okay, so maybe we're more like
Kim and Kanye.
52
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♪ ♪
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♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
54
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♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
55
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-Hey, baby.
-CARTER: Hey, babe.
56
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You're just in time. Watch this.
57
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Lights on.
58
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Lights off.
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Lights on.
60
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I feel like the Mr. Miyagi
of illumination.
61
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Nice, but I asked you
to install the dishwasher.
62
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I can't keep washing
dishes by hand,
63
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my manicurist says
we need to see other people.
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This is way more important
than a dishwasher.
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Turn on sexy lights.
66
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It's the same shade of purple
Prince used for his sheets.
67
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Yeah, I remember the diorama
you made of his bedroom.
68
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(imitates Prince squealing)
69
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What's in the bag?
70
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Oh, my Aunt Dee's wedding dress.
71
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I always wanted to get
married in it.
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I was her flower girl
when I was five. And seven.
73
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And nine. Well, she had a type.
74
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Rich, childless and near death.
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The Aunt Dee who sends
Christmas cards
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that we can't put up
when kids are around?
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I like her.
Let's bust that thing out.
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What? Have you lost your mind?
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No, you can't see the dress
before the wedding,
80
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it's bad luck.
81
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:07,186
We're not supposed to have sex
before the wedding,
82
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but I'm still wearing white.
83
00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:12,006
How is this the one superstition
you don't believe in?
84
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:14,526
You're still forwarding
a chain email from Y2K.
85
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It's been 20 years and
the toasters have not risen up
86
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and tried to kill us.
87
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That's because I'm still
forwarding the email.
88
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I'm serious, don't look at it.
89
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You act like I don't have
any self-control.
90
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We've had wax fruit on
the table for three weeks
91
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and I've only tried one peach.
92
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These pancakes are really good.
93
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You know, some people
call them flapjacks.
94
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,253
(as Jerry Seinfeld):
I mean, who is this Jack
95
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and why is he flapping?
96
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,227
Do I taste cinnamon?
97
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,896
Only if there
was some on the floor.
98
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:53,381
Max. I know this is hard.
99
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,717
But we said that if we broke up
we'd still be friends.
100
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:59,129
And Carter's license says
he's six-two. People lie.
101
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:00,814
You don't mean that.
102
00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:02,908
I know this feels
really bad right now,
103
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:04,243
but we're gonna work it out.
104
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,635
How am I supposed to explain
this to people
105
00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,246
when I don't even get it?
106
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:08,822
It's like when that kid
at the gas station
107
00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:11,141
asked me how does
a microwave work.
108
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:14,235
I don't know, kid. It's a box
that makes things hot.
109
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It's micro waves.
110
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The answer's right in the name.
111
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I don't know how to tell people,
but can we at least wait
112
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until after my mother's
birthday party?
113
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Seriously?
114
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It's just a few days.
Max, come on.
115
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This is a big birthday for her.
She's "turning 50."
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And when she finds out
we broke up,
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it's gonna break her "heart."
118
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Fine, I'll wait until after
the party, "friend."
119
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"Thanks."
120
00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:38,426
But for the record,
you could've waited
121
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until after your mom's birthday
to dump me.
122
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I waited until after Passover
123
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to tell you I broke
your Garfield mug.
124
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Ugh, I hated that Monday.
125
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It's time to give Hot Lots
viewers what they want.
126
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You start at my butt,
tilt up to my face.
127
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I know how to sell the sizzle.
128
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And you sure you don't want
a stunt butt?
129
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I've been squatting, I'm ready.
130
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-Hi, Darren.
-Hey.
131
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Hey, babe,
did you hear back from
132
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-any of those wedding venues?
-Ugh.
133
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Just the riverfront one.
Turns out
134
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it's just a boat
that crashed into the dock.
135
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Captain said we can't
even do a walkthrough
136
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because it's still
an active crime scene.
137
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Well, that's not an option.
Certainly not at full price.
138
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Well, I'm off to meet
yet another caterer.
139
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Even though we don't
have a venue yet.
140
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And yes, I will ask if they can
do "classy pizza rolls."
141
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Tell them I want
the same pizza rolls
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that they eat
at Buckingham Palace!
143
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All right, as a special
wedding surprise,
144
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I want to turn that crawl space
that we discovered
145
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into Randi's she-shed.
146
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She said she wanted a she-shed
147
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when we went to
the Shell station for sherbet.
148
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Are you sure you don't want
to turn it into a home gym?
149
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Get some cake like mine.
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Oh, man.
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Randi's wedding dress.
152
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Should we sneak a peek?
153
00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:53,852
Dude, Randi told you not to.
154
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That makes me want
to do it more!
155
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:57,764
Like at the zoo when they say
don't pet the animals.
156
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Well, I paid $15. I want to know
what a flamingo feels like, zoo.
157
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Well, it's bad luck.
158
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Uncle Ray saw Aunt Jackie
in her wedding dress
159
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before they got married.
160
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50 years later, he drops dead
of an aneurysm.
161
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Okay, fine, I won't look.
162
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Now go get the drywall.
163
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All right.
164
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,877
Oops, I just tripped
on this loose floorboard.
165
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I better grab this zipper
to break my fall.
166
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DARREN:
Are you looking at
Randi's dress?
167
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It's beautiful.
168
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White, lacy.
169
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Mm, she's gonna look so fine
eating pizza rolls in this.
170
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You shouldn't have looked.
171
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Oh, please.
Ain't nothing gonna happen.
172
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(crashing)
173
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Yeah, that's not bad luck.
174
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I'm just a terrible carpenter.
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♪ ♪
176
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Damn, this is quite
the itinerary for your party.
177
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,328
-You're doing outfit changes?
-Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:06,149
I start as Cleopatra
for cocktails,
179
00:07:06,242 --> 00:07:08,593
segue to Jessica Rabbit
for dinner,
180
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then bring the house down
181
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:12,005
with a Janet Jackson
wardrobe malfunction.
182
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Ooh. Ah, this looks fun.
183
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:17,602
9:00 to 10:30, watch Sheila
open and rate all gifts.
184
00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:20,163
Oh, yeah, that's one of her
favorite birthday traditions.
185
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:22,882
A couple of years ago I had
my baby shoes bronzed for her.
186
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Got one and a half stars.
187
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Look, if you want them back,
188
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:28,155
they're probably still
at the pawn shop.
189
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,265
KAT:
Oh, there you are...
190
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,359
in the same clothes
as you wore yesterday.
191
00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:34,786
Boyfriends, they'll do anything
192
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:38,198
to avoid doing laundry,
am I right?
193
00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:40,200
If God wanted me to wear
underwear once,
194
00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:41,960
he never would've
created inside-out.
195
00:07:42,187 --> 00:07:44,537
Well, don't even
get me started on girlfriends.
196
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,280
They're like,
"See what I did for you?"
197
00:07:46,374 --> 00:07:48,024
And you're like,
"Yeah, but I don't like it."
198
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:50,635
And they're like, "Well,
I did it because I love you."
199
00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:53,305
That's why I swore off women.
200
00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:58,034
Max, I am so excited to hear
you sing at my party.
201
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,536
Yeah, nothing I like better than
202
00:07:59,554 --> 00:08:01,387
singing a love song
with my Kat, here.
203
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:04,441
-Oh, you're so sweet.
-All right.
204
00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:06,559
I'm gonna go upstairs.
205
00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:08,320
Too bad she's working,
otherwise we could, you know,
206
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,805
(whistles)
do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.
207
00:08:10,899 --> 00:08:14,734
Honey, what happens in the
bedroom stays in the bedroom.
208
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,161
Not necessarily.
209
00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:17,662
Sometimes what happens
in the bedroom
210
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:21,224
ends up on the hood of a Camaro.
211
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:22,334
Mother, can you watch the shop?
I actually
212
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:23,835
am gonna run upstairs
for a few minutes.
213
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:27,005
But, uh, don't ask
'cause I won't tell.
214
00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:28,990
Wasn't gonna ask.
215
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,159
And for the love of God,
please don't tell.
216
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:33,995
Where were you last night?
217
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:35,180
I was really worried.
218
00:08:35,407 --> 00:08:37,015
I booby-trapped
the Hot Pocket box,
219
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,517
but I didn't hear the bike horn.
220
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,186
I didn't want to sleep
on a fold-out again.
221
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:43,596
My face is 20, my back is not.
222
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:45,565
Well, where did you sleep?
223
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,009
Did you hook up with somebody?
224
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,420
I really don't see how that's
any of your business.
225
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:54,682
Uh, it is my business when you
walk through my business
226
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,593
coming from your "biz-ness."
227
00:08:56,762 --> 00:08:58,444
I don't have to tell you what
I'm up to anymore.
228
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,706
Now, if you don't mind,
229
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,375
please get out of my bedroom.
230
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:04,859
Oh, that's real mature.
Max, come on.
231
00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:06,360
Can we talk about this?
232
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,362
Sorry, I closed the door
to my room. I can't hear you.
233
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:11,883
Oh, then I guess
you can't hear this.
234
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,961
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
235
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,055
♪ Baby shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
236
00:09:17,282 --> 00:09:19,949
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
237
00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:22,376
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ K-A-R-S, Kars for Kids ♪
238
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:25,212
-♪ Baby shark, doo-doo ♪
-♪ 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ♪
239
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:29,459
(muffled overlapping singing)
240
00:09:29,477 --> 00:09:30,569
Freaks.
241
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:33,363
Now I want her to tell.
242
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,910
You're still not ready
for Sheila's party?
243
00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:40,895
We're about to go
from fashionably late
244
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,998
to stereotypically Black.
245
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,642
Damn! Are you okay?
246
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,994
Uh, yeah, I'm just
a little light-headed
247
00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:50,071
from all the blood loss.
248
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,906
That is you, right, Randi?
249
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,091
Just zip me up.
250
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,575
And don't get any blood
on my dress.
251
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,012
I have to return it
to Nordstrom tomorrow.
252
00:09:58,081 --> 00:09:59,264
It's stuck.
253
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:00,432
It better not be stuck
in my hair.
254
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:02,416
I've got to return
that tomorrow, too.
255
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:05,020
-Hang on, I think I got it.
-Okay.
256
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:07,088
Uh-oh.
257
00:10:07,182 --> 00:10:08,422
-W-What's wrong?
-Uh, nothing.
258
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,849
Uh, completely separate
question:
259
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:11,943
Do you know where
the stapler is?
260
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,170
Damn it, Carter!
261
00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:15,855
None of my other dresses
will work.
262
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,025
Sheila specifically said
less cleavage than her.
263
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,267
It's not my fault.
264
00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:21,602
I mean,
I just had a run of bad luck.
265
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:24,848
B-But that happens.
Nothing has to cause it.
266
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:25,790
Just get dressed.
267
00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:28,126
And I'll try to fix the...
Oh, God.
268
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:30,019
-What?
-I just haven't
269
00:10:30,038 --> 00:10:32,205
felt right since
I met that caterer today...
270
00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:35,091
-Oh. Oh.
-(retches)
271
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:36,801
You okay, baby?
272
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:39,596
Does it sound like I'm okay?
273
00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:41,973
-Oh.
-(retches)
274
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,959
Uh, can you say it again?
275
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,962
I couldn't understand you
because of the vomit.
276
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:49,389
(Randi retches)
277
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,541
-Just get over here
and hold my hair back.
-Okay.
278
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,210
I told you I got to
return it tomorrow!
279
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:57,304
-Okay.
-(Randi retches)
280
00:10:57,399 --> 00:11:01,451
-(retching)
-(Carter stammers)
281
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,072
Damn, how many pizza rolls
did you eat?
282
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:07,832
(Randi gagging)
283
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,410
Right in here.
284
00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:12,170
Oh, hi, Kat.
285
00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:15,173
Oh, it looks great in here.
286
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,842
Hello, Mindy,
glad you could make it.
287
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:20,086
You are at the red table,
288
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,013
so look for a photo of my mother
289
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:24,073
in that color nightie.
290
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,341
Is this your grandson?
291
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:31,314
Yes, and his name is
"mind ya business."
292
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,653
Ah, sweet, they're not
checking IDs.
293
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,423
Hey, cuz, where's Randi?
294
00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:41,607
Food poisoning.
295
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,109
No way we're going
with those caterers.
296
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:44,610
Certainly not at full price.
297
00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:46,612
What I tell you? You shouldn't
have looked at that dress.
298
00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:49,708
You were right, all sorts of bad
things have been happening.
299
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:51,710
-Like what?
-Like right now,
300
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,878
I'm stuck here talking to you.
301
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:56,506
I hate it when you lash out.
302
00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:00,626
Hey, Max, can I get another
bottle of champagne?
303
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,963
"Mind-ya-business" is throwing
'em back like he's at prom.
304
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,965
Which he's missing to be here.
305
00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:08,059
Another bottle of Dom.
306
00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:10,395
Uh, that's not Dom Perignon.
307
00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:12,379
It's Dom Toretto,
the official sparkling wine
308
00:12:12,457 --> 00:12:14,048
of The Fast & The Furious.
309
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:18,027
Carter bought ten cases after
The Rock joined the franchise.
310
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,129
Are you drinking?
311
00:12:20,148 --> 00:12:22,031
Uh, let me check.
312
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,634
Why yes, I am.
313
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,486
Okay, I'm just surprised.
314
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,895
You haven't had
a drink in months.
315
00:12:27,989 --> 00:12:31,065
Turns out it's like
riding a bike.
316
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,476
Well, look at you two,
317
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:36,403
the second-best-looking
couple in the room.
318
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:39,983
Yeah, we certainly are
still a couple.
319
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,502
And they said it wouldn't last.
320
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:46,455
Well, looks like you and I
both like younger men.
321
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:48,466
Oh, we're-we're actually
the same age.
322
00:12:48,693 --> 00:12:51,644
Right. So are we.
323
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,273
Miss Leibowitz,
can I use the bathroom?
324
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,667
I told you,
you don't have to ask.
325
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,528
I'm not your teacher anymore.
326
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,783
All hail Sheila,
327
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:07,026
Queen of De-nial!
328
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,412
(exotic music plays)
329
00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:15,442
Hang on, cut the music.
330
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,702
-(music stops)
-Where is everyone?
331
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,279
Uh, the guests
are still arriving.
332
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,190
Damn it. This is why
Frampton always takes
333
00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:24,193
an extra hour to hit the stage.
334
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:25,804
Gene, turn it around.
335
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,680
Let's go.
336
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,892
Can I get a Stoli
and Grey Goose on the rocks?
337
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,969
You know that's just two vodkas.
338
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,305
Well, look who can count.
339
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:46,232
Sheila, you know how
to break a curse?
340
00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:49,052
Katharine still dresses like
a lost and found box,
341
00:13:49,145 --> 00:13:51,020
so obviously not.
342
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,723
Hey, I think I'm gonna bail
on the song.
343
00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:55,408
-Just tell your mom
I said sorry.
-What?
344
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,895
No, no, then she'll know
that something's up.
345
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:00,004
Who cares?
346
00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,789
I don't feel like
getting up onstage
347
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,249
and pretending
everything's okay.
348
00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:05,176
It's just like
the high school talent show
349
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,903
when I had to follow
the fire juggler.
350
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,237
My whole performance,
351
00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:10,590
you could still hear him
screaming backstage.
352
00:14:10,742 --> 00:14:14,001
Max, we just have to keep it
together for one song.
353
00:14:14,095 --> 00:14:15,353
I don't even want to be here.
354
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:17,080
Nobody does!
355
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:19,023
-(sighs)
-Excuse me.
356
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:20,917
Can I get everyone's attention?
357
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,861
(cheers and applause)
358
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:26,105
Um, first off, good news:
359
00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:29,016
Mindy's date has found
his retainer.
360
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,610
(applause)
361
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,779
But please keep an eye out
for his Minions retainer case.
362
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,598
Ba-na-na!
363
00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:41,045
Oh, okay, 'cause that didn't
sound exactly like a Minion?
364
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:44,440
Now I'd like to welcome
to the stage
365
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,552
someone who is very
special to me.
366
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:51,205
My daughter Katharine's
boyfriend Max.
367
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,540
(cheers and applause)
368
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:55,709
All right, you don't want
to do the song, you tell her.
369
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,212
Fine, let's frickin' do it.
370
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,381
Oh, also note,
a change in schedule:
371
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,153
I'll be doing my belly dance
after I cut the cake.
372
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:08,555
♪ ♪
373
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,633
Hi, I'm Kat,
Sheila Silver's daughter.
374
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:14,913
And, Mother, just want you know
how much you mean to me.
375
00:15:15,064 --> 00:15:16,322
Hit it, Max!
376
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,807
♪ ♪
377
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:21,902
♪ You and I must make a pact ♪
378
00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:23,087
♪ ♪
379
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:27,866
♪ We must bring salvation back ♪
380
00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:29,652
♪ ♪
381
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:33,598
♪ Where there is love ♪
382
00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,508
♪ I'll be there ♪
383
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,677
♪ Unless you're not ♪
384
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,253
♪ ♪
385
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:44,943
♪ I'll reach out
my hand to you ♪
386
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:49,763
♪ Although you don't
want me to ♪
387
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,674
♪ ♪
388
00:15:51,693 --> 00:15:55,011
♪ Just sing the song ♪
389
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:57,013
♪ I'll be there ♪
390
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:59,791
♪ No, she won't ♪
391
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,851
♪ ♪
392
00:16:01,853 --> 00:16:07,023
♪ You fill my heart
with joy and laughter ♪
393
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:11,544
♪ Then you threw it
in the trash compactor ♪
394
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,546
♪ Ooh ♪
395
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,307
♪ Just so you know ♪
396
00:16:16,459 --> 00:16:18,309
♪ I never liked Bridgerton ♪
397
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,478
(gasps)
♪ You take that back ♪
398
00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:22,313
♪ I won't ♪
399
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,799
Damn. I guess I never really
listened to the lyrics.
400
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,879
♪ You're making this harder
than it needs to be... ♪
401
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,214
(chuckles) No.
402
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:32,715
You already slept with somebody
403
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:35,384
and it's only been two days?
That is so tacky.
404
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:38,145
Enough already.
I slept at Darren's.
405
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,480
Why didn't you just say that?
406
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,682
And when the Duke told Daphne
"I burn for you,"
407
00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:42,892
you cried real tears!
408
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,669
Why am I even defending
myself to you?
409
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,671
We're not together anymore.
410
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:48,489
Damn it, Max!
411
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,157
(hushed murmuring)
412
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:51,509
What's happening?
413
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,570
I'll tell you what's happening,
this sucks.
414
00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:57,640
She said this song was about me.
415
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,337
Um...
416
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:05,931
Uh...
417
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,250
Next up,
418
00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:09,252
a very special birthday
video message
419
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:11,420
from Ernie Hudson,
the Black Ghostbuster.
420
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:13,740
Gene, roll that tape, will you?
421
00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:21,113
Honey, are you okay?
422
00:17:21,282 --> 00:17:24,267
Yeah. I'm really sorry
about your song.
423
00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:26,711
Oh, don't worry about that.
424
00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,288
I thought it was good.
425
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,699
My video of it
already has 47 likes.
426
00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,752
I can't believe
you guys broke up.
427
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,721
-What happened?
-It's complicated.
428
00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:38,705
I can't really
get into it right now.
429
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:42,635
Why didn't they just watch
the last episode like you did?
430
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,787
This sucks.
431
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:46,972
Y'all were my
relationship goals.
432
00:17:47,091 --> 00:17:48,382
What about me and Randi?
433
00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:51,460
Check back in when you learn
how to communicate.
434
00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:53,571
(Sheila sobbing)
435
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:55,648
Oh, don't worry, Mother.
436
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,133
I'll be okay.
437
00:17:57,151 --> 00:18:00,136
I don't see how.
438
00:18:00,229 --> 00:18:03,331
Now you're going to die alone.
439
00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:11,089
Hey, baby, how you feeling?
440
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,665
I was feeling better
441
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:15,093
until I saw Darren's
livestream of the party.
442
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:17,169
Sheila demanded
that I spank her.
443
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,597
I mean, it was her birthday.
I had no choice.
444
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:21,991
No, Kat and Max breaking up.
445
00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:23,342
Yeah.
446
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:25,177
That was sad.
447
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,996
How'd it make you feel?
448
00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:28,755
We should communicate.
449
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,333
What?
450
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,168
Don't be mad.
451
00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:33,427
I looked at your wedding dress.
452
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:34,353
What the hell?!
453
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:35,762
You said you wouldn't be mad!
454
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,763
No, I didn't.
455
00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:37,931
The point is I'm cursed.
456
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:40,267
I mean, your food poisoning,
the shelves,
457
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,953
Mindy's date got grounded.
458
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:43,788
Baby, you're not cursed.
459
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,105
No, it's true.
460
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,349
You need to just save yourself.
461
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,351
-What are you talking about?
-Mm-mm.
462
00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:51,612
Just walk away, but do it slow.
463
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,133
I need to see that thang
thangin' one last time.
464
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,710
I promise you're not cursed
465
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,953
because it's not gonna be
my wedding dress.
466
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,213
What?
467
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:02,214
Yeah, Aunt Dee
got engaged again,
468
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,641
so she wants her dress back.
469
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:05,868
Should've seen it coming
when she got that job
470
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:07,127
at the nursing home.
471
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,388
Then what caused
all my bad luck?
472
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:10,631
Bad luck?
473
00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:12,132
Baby, you are marrying me.
474
00:19:12,226 --> 00:19:14,468
You have the best luck
of anyone I know.
475
00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:16,821
Yeah, I am pretty lucky.
476
00:19:16,898 --> 00:19:18,063
(chuckling)
477
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,882
And you lucky too, right?
478
00:19:19,901 --> 00:19:21,742
Sure.
479
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,559
♪ ♪
480
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,838
God, there you are.
What was...?
481
00:19:34,065 --> 00:19:35,989
Oh.
482
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:38,067
You're moving out now.
483
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,677
Yep. Moving out.
484
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,238
Also, microwaves cause water
molecules in food to vibrate,
485
00:19:42,256 --> 00:19:44,665
producing heat
that cooks the food.
486
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:46,075
Just FYI.
487
00:19:46,093 --> 00:19:48,244
If this is about the bed,
488
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:49,428
you can sleep in the bed.
489
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,247
I'll be on the pull-out, see?
Whoa.
490
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,339
Sweet Ernie Hudson.
491
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,358
Is there even a mattress
in that thing?
492
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,918
I got to go.
493
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,345
But Max, I don't want you
to leave like this.
494
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,032
This feels like we're
never gonna talk again.
495
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,868
I just... I just can't
keep doing this.
496
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,779
That night on the roof,
497
00:20:06,931 --> 00:20:09,957
you promised I would
never lose you.
498
00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:12,935
(sighs)
499
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,545
My key's on the counter.
500
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,428
(door closes)
501
00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,969
He'll be back.
That's his car key.
502
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:33,472
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
503
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,382
♪ Baby shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
504
00:20:35,476 --> 00:20:37,460
♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
505
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:38,903
♪ Baby shark ♪
506
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:41,480
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
507
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:43,908
♪ Mommy shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
508
00:20:44,093 --> 00:20:46,635
♪ Mommy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
509
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,153
♪ Mommy shark ♪
510
00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:50,081
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
511
00:20:50,308 --> 00:20:52,065
♪ Daddy shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
512
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,568
♪ Daddy shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
513
00:20:54,662 --> 00:20:56,145
♪ Daddy shark ♪
514
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,071
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
515
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,332
♪ Grandma shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
516
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,501
♪ Grandma shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
517
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,244
♪ Grandma shark. ♪
518
00:21:04,338 --> 00:21:06,171
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
519
00:21:06,324 --> 00:21:08,975
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org