1
00:00:03,562 --> 00:00:05,078
Oh, hello.
2
00:00:05,231 --> 00:00:06,755
I was just being sad.
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,493
On purpose. It's called
"melancholy for fun."
4
00:00:11,661 --> 00:00:14,013
You have to practice
being sad sometimes
5
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:15,663
to know what happy is.
6
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,183
♪ I'm never gonna dance again ♪
7
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:21,687
♪ Guilty feet
have got no rhythm ♪
8
00:00:21,838 --> 00:00:24,264
♪ Though it's easy
to pretend... ♪
9
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:27,267
And when I really need a good
cry to get the toxins out,
10
00:00:27,436 --> 00:00:28,510
I do this.
11
00:00:28,604 --> 00:00:30,771
(crying):
I love you all so much.
12
00:00:30,923 --> 00:00:32,756
And I'm gonna do
whatever it takes
13
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:35,108
to find you a forever home.
14
00:00:35,261 --> 00:00:36,702
-(meows)
-I love you more!
15
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,019
(sobs)
16
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:40,039
Kitty kisses all around.
17
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,790
Come here.
18
00:00:43,193 --> 00:00:47,028
But then there are times
when I get sad for real.
19
00:00:47,122 --> 00:00:48,881
Preston's visiting his daughter
in Atlanta
20
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:51,458
and I can't be alone in
the house with all the ghosts.
21
00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,960
The little one drives me
up the wall.
22
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,388
So I'm staying with you
for the weekend.
23
00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,225
That was 30 minutes ago.
24
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,119
Katharine.
25
00:01:02,137 --> 00:01:03,637
Oh, geez.
26
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,230
I brought my dermabrasion tool.
27
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,899
Let's get down
to your good skin.
28
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:09,359
(tool whirring)
29
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,129
(quietly):
Help me.
30
00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,406
♪ ♪
31
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:23,082
Mother, why did you
rearrange all my drawers?
32
00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:24,583
So they would make sense.
33
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,476
I can't find my pajamas.
34
00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:28,145
Use your logic.
35
00:01:28,163 --> 00:01:29,663
Where would pajamas be?
36
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,665
Well, in a perfect world,
they would be folded
37
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,650
under my pillow, but...
38
00:01:33,819 --> 00:01:37,453
Wait a minute, are they folded
under my pillow?
39
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,158
Why is there a lipstick
under there, too?
40
00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:42,601
Use your logic.
41
00:01:42,752 --> 00:01:44,661
In case there's an emergency
42
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,164
and I end up face-to-face
with a fireman?
43
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,590
No. Because makeup
44
00:01:48,758 --> 00:01:51,401
is what separates us
from the common beast.
45
00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:53,862
(mouths)
46
00:02:00,012 --> 00:02:04,014
Kat? What are you doing up
earlier than my biscuits?
47
00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:05,958
It's not safe for me
up there, Phil.
48
00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:09,128
My mother tried to cut my
toenails while I was sleeping.
49
00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:10,945
I cut my mama's toenails
50
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,449
'cause her glaucoma has gotten
so bad, she can't see her feet.
51
00:02:14,618 --> 00:02:16,784
She tried to offer me
a dollar per toe,
52
00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:19,363
but I said, "No way, Mama.
It's on the house.
53
00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:21,765
I don't need the eight dollars."
54
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,628
And now her eyes hurt so bad,
55
00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:28,129
the doctor suggested
56
00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:30,724
(whispers):
medicinal marijuana.
57
00:02:30,876 --> 00:02:33,393
Really?
It's not even legal here.
58
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:35,545
Don't you tell the cops, Kat.
59
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,805
I'll take you down with me.
60
00:02:37,974 --> 00:02:40,050
SHEILA:
Oh, Katharine.
61
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:44,496
Oh, I woke up alone,
terrified you'd been abducted.
62
00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:45,647
They wouldn't have to abduct me.
63
00:02:45,815 --> 00:02:47,815
I would go willingly.
64
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:50,227
Have you brushed
your teeth this morning?
65
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,395
Yes, Mother.
66
00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,154
(laughs):
Because I'm 39 years old.
67
00:02:53,323 --> 00:02:55,799
So if I checked your toothbrush,
it'd be wet?
68
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,090
Okay, Phil, we are all set.
69
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,018
We just have to get there
before they close.
70
00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:08,470
Oh, I cannot believe
it's come to this.
71
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:10,597
Driving two hours to Cincinnati
72
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:12,507
to buy Mary Jane for my mother
73
00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,693
who is also named Mary Jane.
74
00:03:14,844 --> 00:03:16,361
Although, in some ways,
it seems like
75
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,363
it was written in the stars.
76
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,015
Oh, we'll make it fun.
Reefer road trip.
77
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:22,868
We can listen to
my favorite audiobook,
78
00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:25,946
Coming Home to Myself
by Wynonna Judd.
79
00:03:26,114 --> 00:03:28,916
You know Ashley
never wanted to sing?
80
00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:31,126
If you hate me,
just say it, Phil.
81
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,546
-Hello there.
-PHIL/RANDI: Hey.
82
00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:37,441
Sorry I haven't been
more available to help
83
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:38,884
at the café that I own,
84
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:41,327
but my mother added a few things
to my grocery list.
85
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,556
Did you know that there are
nine sizes of olives
86
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,226
and she likes the ones
that no one carries.
87
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,061
There are actually 14 sizes.
88
00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:52,138
The ones that are the size
of lemur testicles
89
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:56,568
are the hardest to find,
but the sweetest to bite into.
90
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,628
Thank you, Wyatt.
91
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:00,630
Um, are you remembering
to be careful
92
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,299
with how you pet the cats?
93
00:04:02,317 --> 00:04:06,078
Stop bringing that up.
I didn't have my glasses on.
94
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,139
I'll be down in a minute.
95
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:10,415
By the way, Randi, cute sweater.
96
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:11,975
I have one just like it.
97
00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:13,143
Oh, this is yours.
98
00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:14,920
Your mom let me go through
your Goodwill bag.
99
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,590
You don't have a Goodwill bag,
do you?
100
00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:23,095
Don't you dare tell her
I took a scarf.
101
00:04:28,494 --> 00:04:30,918
Mother, what are you doing?
102
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:32,437
What does it look
like I'm doing?
103
00:04:32,664 --> 00:04:34,255
Use your logic.
104
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:36,566
Severing our relationship?
105
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,777
Freshening things up.
106
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:43,264
This is the Pantone Color
of the Year: Classic Blue.
107
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,842
First of all, that is
University of Kentucky Blue.
108
00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,345
This is the cruelest thing
you can do to a Cards fan.
109
00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:50,104
And second of all,
you have no right
110
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,016
to just change things
in my home without asking.
111
00:04:53,185 --> 00:04:55,443
But blue is supposed
to be calming.
112
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,354
Do I look calm?!
113
00:04:57,523 --> 00:04:59,205
Do I sound calm?!
114
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,617
Trust me, when I'm finished,
you'll love it.
115
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,052
Grab a brush.
116
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,200
(gasps) Katharine!
117
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,701
Well, trust me,
118
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,628
when I'm finished,
you'll love it.
119
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,539
(Sheila screaming)
120
00:05:15,707 --> 00:05:19,467
Help! Help! Elder abuse!
121
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:22,546
Someone help me!
(screams)
122
00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:25,490
She's an elder
and she's abusing me!
123
00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:27,809
You get back here!
124
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,720
"Go to a cat café,"
I said to myself.
125
00:05:30,814 --> 00:05:34,057
"It'll be a calm place
to get some work done."
126
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,075
(Sheila screaming)
127
00:05:35,243 --> 00:05:37,419
(indistinct shouting)
128
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:40,321
Now, that reminds me
of when my mama
129
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,374
used to chase me around
the house with a hair brush.
130
00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:44,492
-(Sheila screaming in distance)
-Were you tender-headed
as a child?
131
00:05:44,661 --> 00:05:45,844
Oh, no, no, no.
132
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:47,921
She was chasing me
to whup my ass with it.
133
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:50,924
My mama used to spank us
with a spatula.
134
00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:53,426
Then she'd go right back
to flipping pancakes.
135
00:05:53,595 --> 00:05:54,761
(Sheila screams)
136
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,462
I mean, we've always
butted heads,
137
00:05:56,598 --> 00:05:58,172
but it's gotten really bad.
138
00:05:58,266 --> 00:05:59,524
Like cage fight bad.
139
00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:01,193
Y'all just can't be
bringing your drama
140
00:06:01,344 --> 00:06:02,602
into the café like that.
141
00:06:02,754 --> 00:06:03,695
Because then it
becomes my drama,
142
00:06:03,847 --> 00:06:05,772
and Randi doesn't do drama.
143
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:08,408
Unless I'm on hold for too long,
and then I go off.
144
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:10,852
Then you'll have to
help me kill her.
145
00:06:10,946 --> 00:06:12,371
And for the remainder
of this conversation,
146
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,689
I'll replace the word "kill"
with "celebrate."
147
00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:18,284
So what do you think I should
celebrate her with?
148
00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:21,713
You know they don't sell happy
hour nachos in prison, right?
149
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,442
Would you consider therapy
as a plan B
150
00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:27,110
to "celebrating" your mother?
151
00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:30,722
I would consider therapy
after I celebrate her.
152
00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:32,966
I was thinking
about couples therapy.
153
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,727
My ex, Brigitte,
is a family therapist in France.
154
00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:38,304
Used to work with a lot
of parents and their adult kids.
155
00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:41,808
(mockingly): My ex, Brigitte,
is a family therapist...
156
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,402
Sorry, I just had to
get that out.
157
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,720
The French have wine and cheese
for every meal
158
00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:47,464
and they still need therapy?
159
00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:50,057
Girl, therapy is awesome.
160
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,635
I have two online shrinks
that I use.
161
00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:53,245
One who always agrees with me
162
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,654
and another one
who calls Randi out
163
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,156
when she needs to be called out.
164
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,958
Which I kind of like.
165
00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,477
Word of advice, Kat:
166
00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:01,920
don't let your mama
pick your shrink.
167
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,755
I let Stephanie pick our
counselor when we got separated.
168
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,740
He managed to convince me
she should have the house
169
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,667
and the car,
and I can live in the bar
170
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,653
where I seem to spend
all of my time.
171
00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:11,504
I'm telling you right now,
172
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,598
there is no way
on God's green earth
173
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,416
that I am going to therapy
with my mother.
174
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,993
I would rather stick pins
in my eyes,
175
00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:19,329
sleep in a litter box
and eat salad for breakfast.
176
00:07:19,498 --> 00:07:20,997
(Phil sighs)
177
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,924
It sounds like Phil
has something to say.
178
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,334
Thank you, Max.
179
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:26,002
I just feel that if me and Randi
180
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,672
are gonna risk
federal prosecution
181
00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:30,615
by driving across state lines
182
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,677
to buy some Mary Jane-infused
cooking oil
183
00:07:33,695 --> 00:07:36,179
and bake it into my sticky buns
to relieve the pain
184
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,682
of my mama's glaucoma,
the least you can do
185
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,126
is sit on a comfortable couch
with your mama
186
00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:43,044
and talk about your feelings.
187
00:07:44,356 --> 00:07:45,446
Hmm.
188
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,447
Mm.
189
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,757
RANDI:
Mm.
190
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,878
Mm.
191
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,455
Hello, Doctor.
I'm Sheila Silver.
192
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,717
Miss Jefferson County 1974.
193
00:07:57,869 --> 00:07:59,144
KAT:
Ha! She means
194
00:07:59,371 --> 00:08:01,204
1964. Nice try.
195
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,731
(scoffs)
196
00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:11,881
So, is this silent thing
you're doing
197
00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:13,566
something you learned
in therapy school?
198
00:08:13,735 --> 00:08:15,568
Just be quiet, and eventually
they'll tell you
199
00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:17,387
where they buried the body?
200
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,314
That's the police, Mother.
201
00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:21,983
But speaking of school,
202
00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:25,245
you've got some pretty
legit-looking diplomas here,
203
00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:27,897
Dr. Kevin Khan.
204
00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:30,509
Are therapists really doctors
though?
205
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,011
My daughter has a doctorate
in mathematics.
206
00:08:33,162 --> 00:08:35,514
Not that she's doing anything
with that now.
207
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:36,681
(chuckles)
And if someone asked,
208
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,666
"Is there a doctor
on the plane?"
209
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,352
what would she do to help?
210
00:08:40,503 --> 00:08:41,895
Solve for "X"?
211
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,265
Lot of certificates.
212
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:47,600
Dr. Khan here. Dr. Khan there.
213
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:48,935
Doctor, Doctor.
214
00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:50,603
BOTH:
♪ Give me the news ♪
215
00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:53,606
♪ I've got a bad case
of loving you ♪
216
00:08:53,775 --> 00:08:56,609
♪ No pill's
gonna cure my ill... ♪
217
00:08:56,762 --> 00:08:58,778
You know, Katharine, you're not
singing from your diaphragm.
218
00:08:58,947 --> 00:09:00,187
(strained):
You're singing from your neck.
219
00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:02,040
Mother, don't go all O&C on me.
220
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,542
What's O&C?
221
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,377
You can speak.
222
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,212
But can you sing?
223
00:09:07,363 --> 00:09:08,713
♪ Doctor, Doctor ♪
224
00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:10,215
♪ Give me the news ♪
225
00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:14,094
♪ I've got a bad case
of loving you. ♪
226
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:16,555
Randi, I could use your help.
227
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:19,057
Things are breaking bad
in the kitchen.
228
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,045
I can't remember which pan
is the sticky buns
229
00:09:24,213 --> 00:09:26,064
and which pan
is the "funny buns."
230
00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:29,309
Phil! Didn't you have a system
to keep them straight?
231
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,127
Yes, I did have a system,
232
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:33,405
but then you said,
"Cover the register,"
233
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:34,964
and so I did,
234
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,801
but the whole time I was
thinking, you should've said,
235
00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:39,803
"Cover the register, please."
236
00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,080
So then I forgot my system.
237
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,640
Don't make this my fault.
238
00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:45,308
I'm trying to help you.
239
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,826
(sniffing)
240
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,312
Okay, usually the nose knows,
241
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:51,256
but I'm getting nothing here
but cinnamon and heaven.
242
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:55,076
That's why the bud consultant
said to get the oil.
243
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,761
It doesn't have a smell.
244
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,430
Oh, I feel so much closer to you
245
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,599
now that we share
a bud consultant.
246
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,583
Oh, gosh, I got to take the
funny batch to my mother tonight
247
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:06,329
and I don't have time to make a
new batch for tomorrow morning.
248
00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:08,498
Phil, there's no two ways
about it.
249
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,166
We've gotta play
"sticky bun roulette."
250
00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:12,611
We each try a bun from one
of the batches
251
00:10:12,838 --> 00:10:15,505
and see who gets to
ride the dragon.
252
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:18,099
I've never tried pot.
253
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,118
But then again,
I've never tried sushi.
254
00:10:20,345 --> 00:10:22,454
People seem to love that, so...
255
00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:25,707
let's put a saddle
on the dragon.
256
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:32,446
Doctor, let me explain.
257
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,041
"O&C" stands for
"observe and critique."
258
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:37,026
When I was little,
my mother would call it a game.
259
00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:39,453
"Let's play O&C," she'd say,
and then she'd look around
260
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:42,140
and find something
to criticize, like...
261
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:44,384
Oh, that painting
looks like it came from
262
00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:47,053
a highway motel rummage sale.
263
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:51,399
And then I was supposed
to say something like, uh...
264
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:53,818
That guy's got tapered fingers.
265
00:10:54,011 --> 00:10:56,137
His hands look like
little starfish.
266
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:57,906
Oh, good one.
267
00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:02,476
-You see? It's a terrible game.
-But by honing in
268
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,888
on the negatives you see
in the world around you,
269
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:08,558
you learn how to accentuate
the positives in yourself.
270
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,168
You-- you're a doctor,
you get it.
271
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:13,746
And it was a lot more fun than
the games she wanted to play.
272
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:16,925
Like that ridiculous
galloping game.
273
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,586
Galloping isn't a game.
274
00:11:20,755 --> 00:11:23,014
It's a way of life.
275
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,683
And just think how much happier
the world would be
276
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:27,260
if instead of walking
or running everywhere,
277
00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:28,669
we all galloped.
278
00:11:28,763 --> 00:11:30,263
Gives a nice stretch
to the back of the legs,
279
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:33,108
it's very easy on the joints.
280
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,607
Hey, I don't feel anything,
do you?
281
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,536
I don't feel anything either.
Not even my arms.
282
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,238
But my wings are taking me
wherever I need to go.
283
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:50,542
I keep thinking,
why have I not used 'em before?
284
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:53,194
O-Okay, buddy,
you know what, uh,
285
00:11:53,288 --> 00:11:55,046
why don't you go in the kitchen
and make sure all the spices
286
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,198
are where they're supposed to
be, and-and I'll check on you
287
00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:58,717
in a few minutes, okay?
288
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,053
I'm flying.
289
00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:05,890
Hey, Wyatt, how can I help you?
290
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,393
One of the cats
licked my coffee.
291
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,969
Can I have a fresh one?
292
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,564
W... Wyatt, this is empty.
293
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,399
Just say you want a refill.
They're free.
294
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,309
PHIL:
Randi, Randi, come quick!
295
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,861
Excuse me.
296
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,906
Randi, look--
I finally have flat splits.
297
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,911
She'd throw a tantrum
if I wouldn't
298
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,729
gallop through the mall
with her.
299
00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:30,081
But what would
people have thought?
300
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,584
People would have thought
it was such a sweet thing
301
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:33,993
for a mother to do
with her daughter.
302
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,754
You were 15.
People would have wondered
303
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,756
why I didn't
get you the help you needed.
304
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,483
Just because you couldn't
relate to me
305
00:12:40,652 --> 00:12:42,151
doesn't mean
something was wrong with me.
306
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:45,263
Dad used to gallop home from
school with me all the time.
307
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,672
He was better at it than I was.
308
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,674
Sometimes he'd be, like,
a full two blocks ahead.
309
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:52,270
I once hitched a ride with
a dude in a van to catch up.
310
00:12:52,497 --> 00:12:54,255
Your father indulged you.
311
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,273
He accepted me.
312
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,258
I wanted society to accept you.
313
00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:59,611
You want me
to be a mini version of you
314
00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:03,006
and are constantly
disappointed because I'm not.
315
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:05,450
Oh, it's always the mother's
fault. Getting blamed
316
00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,010
for wanting the best
for her child.
317
00:13:07,028 --> 00:13:09,287
Well, I'm sorry your father's
not here, Katharine.
318
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,604
I'm sorry I didn't die first.
319
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,081
Yeah, me, too.
320
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,797
Did I just say that out loud?
321
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:28,789
Mother, I didn't
mean it like that.
322
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,791
I wish nobody was dead, ever.
323
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,219
Yes, you did.
It's fine.
324
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:34,795
How long ago did he pass?
325
00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:37,373
-Eight and a half months.
-Eight and a half months.
326
00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:40,301
She was always a daddy's girl.
Running to him for help
327
00:13:40,469 --> 00:13:42,636
when she didn't
want to do what I asked.
328
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:44,305
Like beauty pageants.
329
00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:46,640
I didn't want to do 'em to begin
with, then when she forced me,
330
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,309
she didn't even
let me pick my own talent.
331
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,903
The ventriloquists never win.
332
00:13:51,072 --> 00:13:52,813
That's because they had never
seen a ventriloquist
333
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,407
with a dummy dressed as a mummy.
334
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,242
A dummy mummy--
it would've killed.
335
00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:58,077
SHEILA:
Anyway, he let her quit.
336
00:13:58,246 --> 00:13:59,912
Don't worry, she got back at him
337
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,081
by bringing a date
to his funeral.
338
00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:03,749
What are you talking about?
339
00:14:03,902 --> 00:14:06,160
Oh, our neighbor Preston
lives with her now.
340
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,753
They were quite lovey-dovey
at the funeral.
341
00:14:07,906 --> 00:14:10,239
Holding on to each other.
Rubbing each other's arms.
342
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,833
He was holding me up.
And of course Preston
343
00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:15,669
would come to the funeral--
he was Harley's friend.
344
00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:18,247
They went in halfsies
on a tractor mower.
345
00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,859
Well, Preston's doing
all the mowing now.
346
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,270
You replaced Dad with him.
347
00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:27,198
Well, you replaced Dad
with a bunch of feral cats.
348
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:31,018
She had a whole career in
academia and threw it all away
349
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:34,021
to serve coffee
and clean litter boxes.
350
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,542
I quit a job I hated
to create a job I loved.
351
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,377
Dad would've appreciated that.
352
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,195
He always wanted
to open a tank museum.
353
00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:44,757
-War tanks, not fish tanks.
-War tanks, not fish tanks.
354
00:14:46,002 --> 00:14:47,552
I honored him with my choice.
355
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,296
Well, I honored him by
bringing Preston into my life.
356
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:52,557
Oh, please.
357
00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,618
I'd been married to Harley
since I was 20 years old.
358
00:14:55,637 --> 00:14:59,288
When he died, Dr. Carl had to
prescribe me antidepressants
359
00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:01,290
just so I could get out of bed.
360
00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:04,068
You took antidepressants?
Which ones?
361
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,237
You know, the one with
the commercial where the woman
362
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:09,073
hangs on to a red balloon
as it flies over the city.
363
00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:10,466
I tried those, too.
364
00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:11,484
-Really?
-Yeah,
365
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,469
they gave me diarrhea.
366
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:16,806
So I switched to the one where
the cartoon dog digs a hole
367
00:15:16,824 --> 00:15:18,416
and buries the woman's
depression like a bone.
368
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,825
Those are the ones
I tried first,
369
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,753
but they made me constipated.
370
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,996
Huh.
371
00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:27,483
Isn't it interesting how two
people can try the same thing
372
00:15:27,652 --> 00:15:29,928
and have a very different
experience?
373
00:15:30,822 --> 00:15:32,931
Thank you.
Ever so.
374
00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:39,729
All right, Phil, let's roll.
375
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:42,331
Phil?
376
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:45,926
Uh-oh.
Randi lost Phil.
377
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,094
Phil?
378
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,864
Y'all, don't freak out,
I'm right here.
379
00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:51,932
Yeah, we see you, Phil.
380
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:53,342
You can see me?
381
00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:55,370
You're the only ones.
382
00:15:57,532 --> 00:15:59,273
Phil.
Oh, thank God you're here.
383
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,516
Oh, hi, Randi.
384
00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:02,293
Randi can see me too
385
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,520
'cause we share the same blood.
386
00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:07,298
Oh, excuse me.
I got a song in my head.
387
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:10,093
I've got to be the music.
388
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:17,883
So, Phil ate one of his sticky
buns that he made for his mama,
389
00:16:18,036 --> 00:16:20,052
and now he's high as a kite
and thinks he's invisible.
390
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,538
That would explain why he
ordered the mac and cheese balls
391
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:24,390
with a side of hot fudge.
392
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,211
Is the irony of getting high
for your mom lost on anybody?
393
00:16:28,304 --> 00:16:29,803
My mom found weed in my room--
394
00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:31,138
she dragged me
straight to church
395
00:16:31,307 --> 00:16:32,715
to pray the devil out of me.
396
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:36,219
I can't even drink wine in front
of my mom. It makes her cry.
397
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,145
(Southern accent):
"I'm just so worried
about your liver
398
00:16:38,314 --> 00:16:40,832
'cause I love
every part of you so much."
399
00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:43,075
(regular accent):
She thinks I just
play the piano here.
400
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:46,078
Oh, you guys are making me feel
like maybe I should call my mom.
401
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,413
When's the last time
you talked to her?
402
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:48,673
Like, a year ago.
403
00:16:48,824 --> 00:16:50,082
-What happened?
-You kidding?
404
00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:51,417
Well, I'm a little hazy
on the details,
405
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:53,052
but I know I was right.
406
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,830
(ghostly):
Ooh...
407
00:16:56,999 --> 00:16:59,425
They're floating.
How did they do that?
408
00:16:59,594 --> 00:17:00,926
-Uh-oh.
-Ooh, ooh!
409
00:17:01,079 --> 00:17:03,504
What else can float?
Here comes the purse.
410
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:06,432
Ooh. I'm gonna
put my hand in its guts!
411
00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:08,693
Time to hand out
some drink vouchers.
412
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,603
W...
413
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:12,846
I forget that I'm invisible
414
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:15,182
but my clothes aren't.
Off they go.
415
00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:16,367
Wait, wait!
416
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,444
-No, Phil, don't do that.
-(shouting)
417
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:22,040
I started taking antidepressants
because I kept thinking
418
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:25,043
I saw Dad in the café
drinking coffee.
419
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:27,211
Harley wouldn't be caught dead
drinking coffee.
420
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,529
Exactly.
But then I thought,
421
00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:31,632
"Well, he is dead, so maybe."
422
00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,385
And then one time
I saw him on the street.
423
00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:36,962
I could tell by the way he
was walking that-that his knee
424
00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:40,058
was bothering him,
so I started chasing after him
425
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,135
to tell him to go to the doctor
who did his hip surgery.
426
00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:44,787
But I-I... Actually,
I was gonna tell him, like,
427
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:47,899
"You knee-ed to go
to the doctor." You get it?
428
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,476
My dad would have loved that.
He was a very punny guy.
429
00:17:50,645 --> 00:17:53,738
And then when I finally caught
up with him, it was an old lady.
430
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,816
In my defense, she had
a mustache like Dad's, you know.
431
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,969
I hugged her.
We're still in touch.
432
00:17:59,987 --> 00:18:02,580
I'm sorry I was so wrapped up
in my own grief,
433
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:04,457
I couldn't help you with yours.
434
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:08,044
Can I give you a hug?
435
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:21,157
For the record, I... I think
Preston's a really nice guy.
436
00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:23,434
You know, he's just...
437
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,161
he's not Dad.
438
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,980
Not even close.
439
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,652
Well, that's all the time
we have for today.
440
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,321
Wow. Well,
441
00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:37,448
this turned out
better than I thought.
442
00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:38,765
And this was only
our first visit--
443
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,618
imagine what's gonna
happen next week.
444
00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:44,288
Yes, I'm excited for him
to see you with lipstick on.
445
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,940
There's not gonna
be a next week.
446
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,517
Well, at least not here.
447
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,611
Why?
Are you retiring?
448
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,355
That's what happened
with my dentist
449
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,357
halfway through my root canal.
450
00:18:54,525 --> 00:18:57,635
No, but therapy needs to be
a good fit for both parties,
451
00:18:57,862 --> 00:19:00,546
and you're not a good fit for me
452
00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:04,392
and my little starfish hands.
453
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,204
I just meant in comparison
to the starfish
454
00:19:08,373 --> 00:19:09,730
that are, like, three feet long.
455
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,901
Like the ones you find
near Alaska.
456
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,735
I'll tell you one thing--
457
00:19:22,904 --> 00:19:24,553
I'm never going
to therapy again.
458
00:19:24,647 --> 00:19:26,647
You know what
I'm never gonna do again?
459
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,241
♪ I'm never gonna dance again ♪
460
00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:33,320
♪ Guilty feet
have got no rhythm ♪
461
00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:35,398
♪ Though it's easy to pretend ♪
462
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:38,083
♪ I know you're not a fool ♪
463
00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:39,826
-♪ Should have known better ♪
-♪ Should have known better ♪
464
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,420
♪ Than to cheat a friend ♪
465
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:45,090
♪ And waste a chance
that I've been given... ♪
466
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:47,092
What happened to me?
467
00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:50,429
You got the funny bun,
you lucky duck.
468
00:19:50,598 --> 00:19:52,264
(phone rings)
469
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,358
Oh, I've got to take this.
470
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,936
Hey, Mom,
thanks for calling me back.
471
00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:59,030
♪ ♪
472
00:20:21,796 --> 00:20:24,797
♪ Tonight the music
seems so loud ♪
473
00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:28,059
♪ I wish that we could
lose this crowd ♪
474
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:31,120
-Come on.
-♪ Maybe it's better this way ♪
475
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:33,898
♪ We'd hurt each other with
the things we'd want to say ♪
476
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,626
♪ We could have been
so good together ♪
477
00:20:37,645 --> 00:20:39,979
♪ We could have
lived this dance forever ♪
478
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,906
-Shake it!
-♪ But now ♪
479
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,818
♪ Who's gonna dance with me... ♪
480
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,287
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