1
00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:05,004
Alexa, remind me to call
my mother every day at 6:00 p.m.
2
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:09,008
ALEXA:
Okay, I'll remind you
every day at 6:00 p.m.
3
00:00:09,084 --> 00:00:10,417
Isn't that wonderful?
4
00:00:10,494 --> 00:00:12,511
Now you won't have to worry
about forgetting.
5
00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:15,130
My mother decided
to give me my birthday present
6
00:00:15,207 --> 00:00:16,631
three months early.
7
00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:19,259
I suspect so she could feel
appreciated longer.
8
00:00:19,336 --> 00:00:21,928
She can help you
keep your calendar,
9
00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,263
make your grocery list.
10
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,190
Alexa, make a fart sound.
11
00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:27,309
ALEXA:
Okay, here's big fart.
12
00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:29,269
-(fart noise)
-(laughs)
13
00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:31,363
Oh, Katharine, really?
14
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,482
Hey, you don't get to control
my relationship with Alexa
15
00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:35,275
just because you introduced us.
16
00:00:35,352 --> 00:00:37,870
We like to have fun, okay?
We're silly.
17
00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,613
You're also almost 40 years old.
18
00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:42,282
Oh, that reminds me.
The cemetery called.
19
00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:44,159
Oh, my gosh.
They come calling now?
20
00:00:44,236 --> 00:00:46,203
How long did they give you?
21
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,829
They called to say
that the burial plot
22
00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,165
next to me and Daddy
just became available.
23
00:00:50,242 --> 00:00:53,168
Wait, how does a burial plot
just "become available"?
24
00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:54,628
Well, they said the police
wouldn't let them comment
25
00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:57,890
on ongoing investigations,
but they assured me
26
00:00:57,966 --> 00:00:59,641
he's not going back in.
27
00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:02,895
And since you don't have
a husband to be buried next to,
28
00:01:02,971 --> 00:01:05,397
you should scoop this one up.
29
00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:09,184
And on that awesome new thing
I have to think about,
30
00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:10,685
on with our show.
31
00:01:10,762 --> 00:01:12,738
♪ ♪
32
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,078
How's your pee stream, Max?
33
00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:20,987
Come again?
34
00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,414
Well, we're all getting older,
and I was just wondering,
35
00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:24,583
'cause I've heard that guys
tend to lose power
36
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:27,244
from their pee stream as
they age, and you're already 40.
37
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,713
My pee stream age is 25.
38
00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,207
If anybody's wondering,
I can pee
39
00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:34,426
through a mini-donut
from across the room.
40
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:36,253
My stream is so powerful,
it can blow a hole
41
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,046
in a double cheeseburger.
42
00:01:38,123 --> 00:01:41,007
Clean through from bun to bun.
43
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:44,010
-(laughs)
-Well, I got to go bury my nose
in some court cases.
44
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,388
-See you tonight?
-No, I don't think so.
45
00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:48,098
My cousin's in town,
so we're going out clubbing.
46
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,517
Oh, cool. Well, have fun.
47
00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:52,018
Oh, you don't have
to tell me to have fun.
48
00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:54,729
When you're this fine, fun
just jumps in your lap. (laughs)
49
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:58,275
Well, if it jumps out
before I go to bed at 11:00,
50
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,902
-give me a ring.
-All right.
51
00:02:00,979 --> 00:02:02,362
KAT:
What a cool guy.
52
00:02:02,439 --> 00:02:05,240
And hot. He's hot, he's cool.
53
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,617
He's like a therapeutic
sports rub.
54
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,246
Yeah, and so confident
and understanding.
55
00:02:11,323 --> 00:02:12,414
It's pretty annoying.
56
00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:14,716
KAT:
Mm-hmm.
57
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,294
Wait, why is that annoying?
58
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,546
I don't know, I mean,
we have a great time together,
59
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:20,973
but when I want to do
my own stuff,
60
00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:22,966
he's just fine with it.
61
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,144
And not once have I caught him
trying to look through my phone.
62
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,137
What kind
of a boyfriend is that?
63
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,639
Uh, the good kind
that trusts you?
64
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,727
You know what Randi
doesn't trust? Trust.
65
00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:35,562
I'm so excited for tonight.
66
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,157
My cousin Birdie found this bar
that has a mechanical bull.
67
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,492
Ooh, I got to remember
to double-bra the girls.
68
00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:44,070
Ooh, riding a mechanical bull
is on my whistle list.
69
00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:45,655
Don't you mean bucket list?
70
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,574
Everyone in my family calls it
a whistle list
71
00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:49,409
because after you do it you go,
72
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:52,287
-(wolf whistles)
"Should've done that sooner."
-(chuckles)
73
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:55,174
I want to watch Phil
ride a bull. I'm in.
74
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,959
No turning back now.
What time do we go?
75
00:02:58,036 --> 00:02:59,344
Hold on. This is my night out.
76
00:02:59,421 --> 00:03:01,296
And I mean this
with great respect:
77
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:03,506
oldies get left in the cold-ie.
78
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,427
Hey, I may be nearing
my 40th turn round the sun,
79
00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:10,263
and, sure, sometimes when
I'm sitting in my rocking chair,
80
00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:13,266
I can't tell if the squeaking
sound is my chair or my knees.
81
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:14,309
You have a rocking chair?
82
00:03:14,386 --> 00:03:16,361
It's a modern glider.
83
00:03:16,438 --> 00:03:19,522
My point is,
I still feel like I'm in my 20s.
84
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,483
And between going to grad school
to become a math professor
85
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,110
and changing my mind
and opening my own business,
86
00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:26,205
I missed out
on some prime partying.
87
00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,323
Oh, come on, Randi.
We'll have fun.
88
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,367
Plus, Phil needs to check
mechanical bull riding
89
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,160
off his whistle list.
90
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,879
I would love that.
When I was a kid,
91
00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,288
we used to ride bucking goats.
92
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:36,998
Mama'd say,
"Don't you ride those goats.
93
00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:40,594
Those goats aren't for riding."
But we did.
94
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:43,797
It's just that
when Birdie and I kick it,
95
00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:46,391
we usually like to keep
the party going until sunup.
96
00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:50,303
Oh, I see. The gauntlet
has been thrown, has it?
97
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:52,055
Well, I pick up that gauntlet
and I say,
98
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,565
"We shall party
until the little hand's
99
00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:55,392
on the six and the big hand's
on the 12."
100
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,561
That's time-telling,
old person style.
101
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:02,190
Okay, fine, just try not
to embarrass me while we're out.
102
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:05,235
-Of course not.
-I would never.
103
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,528
I'm gonna dance like this.
104
00:04:06,604 --> 00:04:08,154
And I'm gonna dance like this.
105
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,364
I'm gonna dance like this.
106
00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:12,251
I'm gonna
dance like this.
107
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,461
(country music playing)
108
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,916
(nasally):
The midnight hour approacheth.
109
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:24,096
We shall celebrate bringing in
the new day with souvenir cups.
110
00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:26,923
Are these drinks gray?
111
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,551
(regular voice): Yeah. It's
called the Louisville Tombstone.
112
00:04:29,627 --> 00:04:32,437
'Cause after two of these,
you'll be six feet under.
113
00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:35,432
I read that on the menu.
114
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,935
Which reminds me, I need to talk
to you about my burial plot.
115
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,562
No. This is what
I was afraid of.
116
00:04:40,638 --> 00:04:42,272
This is old people talk.
117
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,523
Well, my mother put it on hold,
118
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,400
and I only have
24 hours to decide.
119
00:04:45,477 --> 00:04:47,286
It's a very popular location.
120
00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:50,905
-People are dying
to get in there.
-(laughs)
121
00:04:50,982 --> 00:04:53,199
Shoot, my texts to Birdie
aren't going through.
122
00:04:53,276 --> 00:04:55,118
I don't have any bars
in this bar.
123
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,536
Hey.
124
00:04:56,613 --> 00:04:58,288
I figured you don't want
a stranger buying you a drink,
125
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,132
so we should
probably dance first.
126
00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,301
-I can see that happening.
-Oh...
127
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:03,710
Uh, Randi, what are you doing?
128
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,920
Aren't you and Daniel
going steady?
129
00:05:05,997 --> 00:05:07,297
Oldie says what?
130
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,591
You know, uh,
dating exclusively.
131
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,343
Daniel doesn't seem to worry
about what I do without him,
132
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:13,053
so why should I?
133
00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:15,263
♪ Sometimes on the weekend
I like to watch a movie... ♪
134
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,098
-This place is great.
-(laughs): Yeah.
135
00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:18,483
Great. So great.
136
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,152
We're doing this.
137
00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:23,104
Yeah, we are. Sunrise or bust.
138
00:05:23,181 --> 00:05:25,073
(whoops)
139
00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:31,988
Do you think
we're the oldest people in here?
140
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,282
By far.
141
00:05:34,359 --> 00:05:35,617
They're all thinking
about drinking
142
00:05:35,693 --> 00:05:37,336
and rolling around
with each other.
143
00:05:37,412 --> 00:05:39,788
But you know
what I'm thinking about?
144
00:05:39,864 --> 00:05:40,955
Don't say it, Phil.
145
00:05:41,032 --> 00:05:42,957
-Sleeping.
-(groans)
146
00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:44,918
Now you got me
thinking about Frank.
147
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,169
Who's Frank?
148
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,337
Frank is my body pillow.
149
00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,513
He's made of memory foam
150
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:53,093
and he has memorized
every inch of my body.
151
00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:57,097
By chance, uh, do you and Frank
have an open relationship?
152
00:05:57,173 --> 00:06:00,433
-(laughs)
-I'm, like,
freaking out right now,
153
00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:01,851
you're so cute.
154
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,187
Um, will you come dance with me
and my friends?
155
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,315
Damn me
and my teddy bear nature.
156
00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:10,527
-Oh, my gosh. Get on my back.
-(grunts)
157
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,611
Giddyap, girl.
158
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:14,030
(gasps)
You guys, I got him!
159
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,415
(laughs)
160
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:17,659
(yawns)
161
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:20,161
Oh, I'm not tired.
162
00:06:20,238 --> 00:06:22,163
I'm not tired.
163
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,707
Just like a little tired.
164
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,000
(snoring)
165
00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:28,261
♪ ♪
166
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,548
(snores)
167
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,258
Oh.
168
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:36,311
Oh, wow. I fell asleep
standing up, like a horse.
169
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:40,056
Do some exercises,
get my blood pumping.
170
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,516
Couple shoulder rolls.
171
00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:42,517
Twists.
172
00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:44,477
-Oh!
-Oh! Man down, man down.
173
00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:46,062
-I am so sorry.
-(shouts)
174
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,397
Okay, now I stepped
on your foot.
175
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:50,242
Frank never would've
let this happen.
176
00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:56,531
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
177
00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,417
You hit me right in the button.
178
00:06:58,493 --> 00:07:00,326
Uh, by way of apology, here.
179
00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:02,370
Uh, reach in,
grab whatever you want.
180
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:04,164
There's-there's a lot
of peppermints in there.
181
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,590
There-There's some
fun hair clips.
182
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,551
Okay. I like hair clips.
183
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:10,920
(laughs):
Hey, you got my keys.
184
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,422
I think you mean my keys.
185
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:15,258
Well, in that case,
I like your U of L keychain.
186
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,551
I used to have one just like it.
187
00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:18,052
-Oh, did you go there?
-Yeah.
188
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:20,096
-Oh, me, too.
-Not to brag,
189
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,723
but I'm probably
their hugest basketball fan.
190
00:07:21,799 --> 00:07:23,349
Well, since we're both
not bragging,
191
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:26,111
when I was a student,
I was the mascot.
192
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:28,280
Shut your face.
193
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:30,899
You were Louie the Cardinal?
194
00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:32,358
Uh, brag on, kind sir.
195
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:34,527
As you wish, milady.
Remember, like, ten years ago,
196
00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:36,571
at halftime, when the mascot
took off at the half-court line,
197
00:07:36,648 --> 00:07:38,114
jumped on the trampoline,
misjudged the hoop,
198
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,516
hit his head on the backboard...
199
00:07:39,518 --> 00:07:40,867
And then he had to be carried
out on a stretcher
200
00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,452
and everybody chanted,
"Louie! Louie!"
201
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,963
-That was me.
-Oh, my God!
202
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,132
You're like a celebrity.
203
00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:48,291
You know, I actually auditioned
204
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,293
to be the mascot
my freshman year.
205
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,294
Oh, really? When was that?
206
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,462
Uh, nineteen-ninety...
207
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,214
let me buy you drink.
(laughs)
208
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:56,966
Why am I suddenly
not admitting my age?
209
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,927
Maybe I am becoming my mother.
210
00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:03,389
It is weird that I don't know
how old you are, Mother.
211
00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:07,268
I'm older than a seedling
but younger than the Moon.
212
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,103
I'm stronger than an oak
213
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:11,231
-and flexible like the wind.
-Flexible like the wind.
214
00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:13,399
Sorry I brought it up.
215
00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:15,494
Well, saddle up, Grandpa.
216
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,071
Wait, wait, I'm getting on, too.
217
00:08:18,147 --> 00:08:20,165
(shouts)
218
00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:22,167
♪ I want to run... ♪
219
00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,294
-Whoa.
-(whooping)
220
00:08:26,248 --> 00:08:27,830
Whoopee!
221
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,457
♪ ♪
222
00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:31,834
♪ Yippee-yi-oh,
yippee-yi-ki-yay... ♪
223
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,461
Randi? Phil?
224
00:08:33,538 --> 00:08:35,013
♪ Lasso your heart,
steal it away... ♪
225
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,589
Excuse me, sir.
226
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:41,010
♪ Want to lasso your heart,
steal it away... ♪
227
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,346
Looking for my friends.
228
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,014
♪ Steal it away... ♪
229
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,142
No, no. Randi, no.
230
00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:51,104
("Man! I Feel like a Woman!"
playing)
231
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,022
♪ Let's go, girls... ♪
232
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,482
Finally, a song I know.
233
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,360
Sir, are there rules
about dancing on the bar here?
234
00:08:57,371 --> 00:09:01,030
-Does this answer your question?
-(laughs)
235
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,951
♪ I'm goin' out tonight,
I'm feelin' all right... ♪
236
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,420
(cheering)
237
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:12,542
I'm so glad I've practiced this
on my kitchen counter at home.
238
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:16,680
♪ Yeah, I want
to scream and shout... ♪
239
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:19,224
Phil, look, I'm making money!
240
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,217
(laughs)
Oh!
241
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,894
♪ No inhibitions... ♪
242
00:09:22,971 --> 00:09:24,012
Oh...
243
00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:27,140
I'm okay. I'm okay.
244
00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,350
-Let's party.
-(cheering)
245
00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:31,403
♪ I ain't gonna act
politically correct ♪
246
00:09:31,479 --> 00:09:34,230
♪ I only want
to have a good time. ♪
247
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,408
I can't believe we've been
at the wrong club.
248
00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,192
Birdie's at The Bear
and The Bull,
249
00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:39,578
not The Bull and The Bear.
250
00:09:39,654 --> 00:09:41,529
Phil, you scared me to death
251
00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:43,197
when I saw you go
flying off that bull.
252
00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:44,490
I thought you were gonna die.
253
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,992
Not a chance.
Mama always taught me
254
00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:49,203
that if I fell from any height,
just go limp.
255
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,298
That way,
I wouldn't break anything.
256
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:53,416
Randi, you scared me, too.
257
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,084
I mean, I don't want to judge,
258
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,336
'cause that would be
an old people thing,
259
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,087
so I'll just keep it
young and curious.
260
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,339
What were you doing
rubbing up against that guy
261
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:00,548
on the dance floor?
262
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,258
You have a boyfriend.
263
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,268
Again, I'm just asking
in a young, cool,
264
00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:05,094
Blue's Clues kind of way.
265
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,221
Hey, those are the type
of things that go down
266
00:10:07,298 --> 00:10:08,440
when young people party.
267
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,442
Are you saying
that you can't handle it?
268
00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,101
Wh-- Are you kidding me?
I was dancing
269
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,437
with a topless bartender
and I made 23 bucks.
270
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,448
Which I then gave him
'cause I accidentally crushed
271
00:10:16,524 --> 00:10:17,765
his citrus squeezer.
272
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:21,027
I don't know why,
but that makes my nuts hurt.
273
00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:24,113
Ooh, I also punched a guy and
we had an awesome conversation.
274
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,698
We have birthdays
in the same month,
275
00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:27,200
although I'll be turning 40
and he'll be turning 30.
276
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:29,535
Ooh, yeah, no,
you don't need that hassle.
277
00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:32,246
Guys mature way later,
so a 29-year-old dude
278
00:10:32,323 --> 00:10:34,540
is really like
a 19-year-old boy.
279
00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:36,417
Oh, well,
that's interesting, Randi.
280
00:10:36,494 --> 00:10:38,086
So you can comment
on my relationship,
281
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:39,253
but I can't comment on yours?
282
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,381
Oh, so now it's a relationship?
283
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,091
No. Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
284
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:44,759
-Stop the car! Stop the car!
-Oh, no.
285
00:10:44,836 --> 00:10:47,053
Are you gonna yak? 'Cause this
outfit is dry-clean only.
286
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,554
No, look.
287
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:50,640
That's the cemetery
where I may or may not
288
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,434
take up permanent residence
for all eternity.
289
00:10:53,511 --> 00:10:54,977
You want to check out
my new digs?
290
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,154
Get it? Digs?
291
00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,064
(laughing)
292
00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,991
I do get it.
293
00:11:01,569 --> 00:11:03,536
BOTH:
Digs.
294
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,408
When I was a kid, we'd visit
the cemetery all the time.
295
00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:11,661
Mama would put cigarettes
on Pa-paw's grave
296
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:15,915
and then she'd say, "You can't
die twice from smoking."
297
00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:18,459
Hey, I-I know where we are.
298
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:22,004
My father's plot should be
right over here.
299
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,131
Oh, my God.
300
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:24,966
Kat, I'm coming.
301
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:27,268
No, Phil, don't run.
302
00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:30,263
KAT:
Are you okay?
303
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:34,267
PHIL:
I'm good.
I just went limp again.
304
00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:36,519
At the beginning of the night,
I thought you guys
305
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,739
only had one foot in the grave,
but look at you now.
306
00:11:45,062 --> 00:11:46,612
-What should I do?
-Can you please go find
307
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,039
a vine to pull us out?
308
00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:50,041
Like a, Like a thick vine.
309
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:53,161
Where do you think we are that
I have size choices of vines?
310
00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:56,998
Vine City? Vines"R"Us?
311
00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:59,342
Bed Bath & Vines?
312
00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:02,554
Probably a lot less roomy
in here
313
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,172
when they put a coffin in it.
314
00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:06,507
Oh, we'll be fine.
315
00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:09,552
I was stuck in a well
for three days when I was a kid.
316
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,346
Strangers lowered food
down to me.
317
00:12:12,423 --> 00:12:14,640
I still can't eat
a bologna sandwich
318
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:17,351
-without a fishhook in it.
-Well...
319
00:12:17,428 --> 00:12:20,405
may as well get comfortable.
320
00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:23,483
Here lies
Katharine Edith Silver,
321
00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,662
optimistic human woman,
albeit a little chilly.
322
00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:32,208
-This'll warm you up.
-Oh. Thanks.
323
00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,919
Mm.
324
00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:38,247
Ugh. Phil, I thought that was
gonna be whiskey. What is that?
325
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,258
-Homemade bone broth.
-Oh...
326
00:12:40,335 --> 00:12:43,211
I simmered it for eight hours.
327
00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,171
It's all kinds of peppery.
328
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,423
Here, this one's whiskey.
329
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:51,052
-How many flasks
do you have, Phil?
-Only two.
330
00:12:51,128 --> 00:12:54,272
But I've got a little jerky
if you get hungry.
331
00:12:56,351 --> 00:12:59,444
Mm... there we go.
332
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:03,114
That'll bring the party back.
333
00:13:03,191 --> 00:13:04,816
Well, it's a nice night out,
isn't it?
334
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:07,619
I can see the Big Dipper.
335
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:10,455
You know, it's actually
kind of cool. I mean,
336
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:14,459
how many people get a view
from their final resting place?
337
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:16,294
You know, at some point
we all start thinking
338
00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:17,954
when the end will come.
339
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:21,374
I'm just glad you came
into my life when you did.
340
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,210
You've already helped me check
a lot of things
341
00:13:24,287 --> 00:13:26,304
off my whistle list.
342
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:31,476
You know, I don't know
if it's all the Tombstones
343
00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:35,396
we drank talking,
or the one we're lying under...
344
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,308
...but I don't want
to die, Phil.
345
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:43,312
Oh, I know, honey.
It's such a betrayal.
346
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,940
Just when you start
getting good at life,
347
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,400
it goes away.
348
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,661
And no matter how young I feel,
349
00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:51,946
it's still gonna happen.
350
00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:54,666
I know.
351
00:13:54,742 --> 00:13:58,327
I'm gonna miss so many
cool things in the future.
352
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,330
Technology. Time travel.
353
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,259
Pillows that cut your hair
while you sleep.
354
00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:09,338
You know, but most of all,
355
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,182
I'm gonna miss fun nights
like this
356
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:12,925
with my friends.
357
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,501
Aw.
358
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:18,931
Hey. Birdie just texted and said
she's at an all-night diner.
359
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:21,642
She met this hot old guy
that she's really into,
360
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,185
and she wants to get
my opinion of him.
361
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,271
But most importantly,
can you believe that
362
00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:27,523
Daniel has not texted me
once tonight?!
363
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,200
Did you text him?
364
00:14:29,277 --> 00:14:30,517
No, I'm not gonna text him.
365
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,486
What kind of a desperate message
would that send?
366
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:35,281
Uh, I don't mean to make this
all about me,
367
00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,033
but we're stuck in a hole here.
368
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,376
Did you find a vine?
369
00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:40,703
No, but I did brainstorm,
370
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,381
and lucky for you...
371
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,174
I double-bra'd it.
372
00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:52,048
Ooh, what's the word?
373
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,216
Birdie's the word.
374
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,969
Oh, Kat, Phil, Birdie.
Birdie, Kat, Phil.
375
00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:58,679
-Hi, Birdie.
-Hi.
376
00:14:58,756 --> 00:15:00,890
-So how's it going with
the hot old guy?
-So good.
377
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,184
He's smart and sweet
and posed for Playgirl
378
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,393
back when he was in college.
379
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:08,147
Hey, I know somebody
who did that.
380
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:09,190
BOTH:
What are you doing here?
381
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:11,993
Hi, Max. I rode a bull.
382
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:14,695
Wait, you posed for Playgirl?
383
00:15:14,772 --> 00:15:16,247
I was just trying to
put myself through school.
384
00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:19,292
Mm-hmm, that's what all
the strippers say.
385
00:15:20,111 --> 00:15:21,410
How do you all know each other?
386
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,588
Oh, his strip club is
right by our coffee shop.
387
00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:26,082
Okay, come sit down,
and let me tell you
388
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,218
how I got all this blonde girl
hair stuck in my bracelet.
389
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,264
So, uh, is this what you do
on your weekends?
390
00:15:33,341 --> 00:15:35,883
You, you get your party on
and hook up with
391
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,343
much younger ladies and such?
392
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,054
I couldn't sleep
and I wanted pancakes.
393
00:15:40,131 --> 00:15:42,098
Gotcha. You know,
my grandpa used to get up
394
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,058
in the middle of the night
for a snack, too.
395
00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:47,853
You're really hung up on this
getting older thing, aren't you?
396
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,398
Age is just a number, Kat.
397
00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:52,024
Or to put it in a more
philosophical way,
398
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:55,069
you're only as old
as your pee stream.
399
00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:57,279
Well, just so you know,
Birdie said she's hanging out
400
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,614
with a hot old guy.
401
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:02,418
-She said I was hot?
-(laughs)
402
00:16:04,655 --> 00:16:08,040
Hey, are you okay seeing Max
with another woman?
403
00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:10,584
Uh, totally fine.
404
00:16:10,661 --> 00:16:12,211
Okay, I'm just saying,
405
00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:13,620
because that other woman
may be my cousin,
406
00:16:13,698 --> 00:16:15,589
but I will shut that down tight
if you want me to.
407
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:18,092
Normally I would say blood is
thicker than friendship,
408
00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:19,477
but Birdie did steal
my prom date,
409
00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:21,429
and we still working
through that.
410
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:25,817
I promise you it's okay.
We're just friends.
411
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:29,603
He has to live his life
and I have to live mine.
412
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,148
Oh, my gosh, that's the guy
I punched.
413
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,158
Really? Oh, he's cute.
414
00:16:34,235 --> 00:16:36,736
-What are you thinking?
-Well...
415
00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:39,113
I'm thinking, as the young
people might say, "YOLO,"
416
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,073
which is "you only live once."
417
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,951
Don't want to have "FOMO,"
which is "fear of missing out."
418
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:47,329
Let's not forgot Yo-Yo,
a cellist of great renown.
419
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,966
Girl, get over there.
420
00:16:52,754 --> 00:16:54,587
Well, hello.
421
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:56,589
No way. Hi.
422
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,349
In case you're wondering,
I'm not stalking you.
423
00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:01,177
That's the first thing
a stalker would say.
424
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,353
But I'm actually
really glad you're here.
425
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,138
Also, you have dirt
on your face.
426
00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:07,683
Oh, um, yeah, I-I fell
into a freshly dug grave.
427
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,586
Another thing a stalker
would say.
428
00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:16,367
She texts him at 4:00 a.m.
and asks,
429
00:17:16,444 --> 00:17:18,527
"Are you in the mood
for pancakes?"
430
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,488
He's not, but now he can't
go back to sleep,
431
00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:23,199
so he drives over,
but when he walks in the door
432
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:27,286
he realizes he's still
in his slippers.
433
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,622
I kissed a guy tonight.
434
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,333
Wow. Okay.
435
00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:37,004
-That's your reaction? "Okay"?!
-I said "Wow."
436
00:17:37,081 --> 00:17:38,964
Ugh, I didn't really kiss a guy.
437
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,383
Well, then, why did you say
you did?
438
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,053
Don't you know that when your
girlfriend goes out without you,
439
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,420
you're supposed to act
all jealous
440
00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:47,223
and text her constantly
throughout the night?
441
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,724
How do you know I didn't
track your every move
442
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,068
through your phone?
443
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:52,645
-Did you?
-No.
444
00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:53,905
Ugh!
445
00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:56,074
Randi, hold up.
446
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,567
I'm not sure what's happening.
447
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,528
I've done unhealthy
relationships,
448
00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:02,404
and it sounds
like you have, too.
449
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,491
But if you need me to be
jealous or controlling
450
00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,910
to recreate some familiar
feeling from your past,
451
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,329
then it's not gonna happen.
452
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:13,925
Then, besides giving me
control of the remote,
453
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,292
how do I know you like me?
454
00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:18,262
(chuckles)
I drove here in my slippers.
455
00:18:18,339 --> 00:18:20,506
And I think about you
all the time
456
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,007
when we're not together.
457
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:25,261
And I want you
to move in with me,
458
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,438
and I was trying to think
of a cool way to ask you,
459
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:30,182
but I wasn't sure if I was
the flash mob type or not.
460
00:18:30,259 --> 00:18:34,186
And flash mob was the cool
or uncool way?
461
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,072
Can I take that as a yes?
462
00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:44,238
So I was thinking,
you're about to turn 30.
463
00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:45,865
I've already been 30.
464
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,575
Maybe we could go out sometime
465
00:18:47,651 --> 00:18:51,203
and I could give you
some life spoiler alerts.
466
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,747
Okay, let's do it.
467
00:18:53,824 --> 00:18:54,757
Really?
468
00:18:55,659 --> 00:18:57,301
Yay.
469
00:18:57,378 --> 00:18:58,919
Okay. That's great.
470
00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:00,421
Boom!
471
00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:03,975
Wait, I don't have your number
or know your name.
472
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:07,553
But I do still have...
(sings mini fanfare)
473
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,430
My keys. No way.
474
00:19:09,506 --> 00:19:11,983
What a satisfying feeling
to get something back
475
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:13,809
you didn't even remember
you lost.
476
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,311
Yeah, the last club
I couldn't find you,
477
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,988
and then I went all
around the parking lot
478
00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:19,273
pressing the lock button
hoping to hear a "whoop-whoop."
479
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,233
And then I realized you probably
took a car service home.
480
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,493
I took a car service, yeah.
481
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:25,112
Anyway, uh, let me get
your number.
482
00:19:25,189 --> 00:19:26,655
Yeah. Let me give it to you.
483
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,958
Let me give it to you good.
Whoop-whoop!
484
00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:35,414
Aha!
485
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:39,010
We did it.
We made it to sunrise.
486
00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:40,236
You know what this is?
487
00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:42,004
Me picking up
the invisible gauntlet.
488
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,966
Me holding it over my head
and dancing around with it.
489
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:50,012
Fine, you both proved yourselves
worthy of an all-nighter.
490
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,139
Oh, I love how everything
just came together,
491
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:53,349
like in a movie.
492
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,351
Oscar showed up at the diner.
493
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,694
Daniel showed up at the diner.
494
00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:58,979
That tattoo truck pulled up
just as we were leaving.
495
00:19:59,056 --> 00:20:02,191
And we commemorated the night
with our matching tattoos.
496
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,870
-Ankles aweigh!
-Oh, those are so cute!
497
00:20:05,947 --> 00:20:07,529
I wish I would've got one.
498
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,040
Wha... Phil, you did get one.
499
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,375
You just fell asleep
in the chair.
500
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,161
PHIL:
Well, where'd you come from,
501
00:20:14,238 --> 00:20:16,288
-little kitty paw?
-(laughing)
502
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,050
You know,
this makes us more than friends.
503
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,292
This makes us like a gang.
504
00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,378
Like a badass kitty gang.
505
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,297
If you want to be
a really badass kitty gang,
506
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,466
we should keep it totally secret
from everyone else
507
00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,343
and never talk about it again.
508
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:33,397
-That is really badass.
-(Randi laughs)
509
00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:36,225
The question is,
how does a badass kitty gang
510
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:37,226
stay awake during work?
511
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,894
I feel like I'm gonna fall over.
512
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,405
I call dibs on first nap.
513
00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:43,565
All right, I'll fire up
the espresso machine.
514
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,193
Better yet, I'll get us
some coffee beans to chew on.
515
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:50,531
And I'll just relive last night
over and over in my mind.
516
00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:53,409
-(chuckles)
-("Man! I Feel like a Woman!"
playing)
517
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,587
♪ Let's go, girls. ♪
518
00:20:56,664 --> 00:20:58,631
♪ ♪
519
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,367
♪ ♪
520
00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:31,122
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
521
00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:34,667
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org