1 00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:05,004 Alexa, remind me to call my mother every day at 6:00 p.m. 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:09,008 ALEXA: Okay, I'll remind you every day at 6:00 p.m. 3 00:00:09,084 --> 00:00:10,417 Isn't that wonderful? 4 00:00:10,494 --> 00:00:12,511 Now you won't have to worry about forgetting. 5 00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:15,130 My mother decided to give me my birthday present 6 00:00:15,207 --> 00:00:16,631 three months early. 7 00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:19,259 I suspect so she could feel appreciated longer. 8 00:00:19,336 --> 00:00:21,928 She can help you keep your calendar, 9 00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,263 make your grocery list. 10 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,190 Alexa, make a fart sound. 11 00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:27,309 ALEXA: Okay, here's big fart. 12 00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:29,269 -(fart noise) -(laughs) 13 00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:31,363 Oh, Katharine, really? 14 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,482 Hey, you don't get to control my relationship with Alexa 15 00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:35,275 just because you introduced us. 16 00:00:35,352 --> 00:00:37,870 We like to have fun, okay? We're silly. 17 00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,613 You're also almost 40 years old. 18 00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:42,282 Oh, that reminds me. The cemetery called. 19 00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:44,159 Oh, my gosh. They come calling now? 20 00:00:44,236 --> 00:00:46,203 How long did they give you? 21 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,829 They called to say that the burial plot 22 00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,165 next to me and Daddy just became available. 23 00:00:50,242 --> 00:00:53,168 Wait, how does a burial plot just "become available"? 24 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:54,628 Well, they said the police wouldn't let them comment 25 00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:57,890 on ongoing investigations, but they assured me 26 00:00:57,966 --> 00:00:59,641 he's not going back in. 27 00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:02,895 And since you don't have a husband to be buried next to, 28 00:01:02,971 --> 00:01:05,397 you should scoop this one up. 29 00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:09,184 And on that awesome new thing I have to think about, 30 00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:10,685 on with our show. 31 00:01:10,762 --> 00:01:12,738 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,078 How's your pee stream, Max? 33 00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:20,987 Come again? 34 00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,414 Well, we're all getting older, and I was just wondering, 35 00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:24,583 'cause I've heard that guys tend to lose power 36 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:27,244 from their pee stream as they age, and you're already 40. 37 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,713 My pee stream age is 25. 38 00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,207 If anybody's wondering, I can pee 39 00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:34,426 through a mini-donut from across the room. 40 00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:36,253 My stream is so powerful, it can blow a hole 41 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,046 in a double cheeseburger. 42 00:01:38,123 --> 00:01:41,007 Clean through from bun to bun. 43 00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:44,010 -(laughs) -Well, I got to go bury my nose in some court cases. 44 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,388 -See you tonight? -No, I don't think so. 45 00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:48,098 My cousin's in town, so we're going out clubbing. 46 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,517 Oh, cool. Well, have fun. 47 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:52,018 Oh, you don't have to tell me to have fun. 48 00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:54,729 When you're this fine, fun just jumps in your lap. (laughs) 49 00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:58,275 Well, if it jumps out before I go to bed at 11:00, 50 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,902 -give me a ring. -All right. 51 00:02:00,979 --> 00:02:02,362 KAT: What a cool guy. 52 00:02:02,439 --> 00:02:05,240 And hot. He's hot, he's cool. 53 00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,617 He's like a therapeutic sports rub. 54 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,246 Yeah, and so confident and understanding. 55 00:02:11,323 --> 00:02:12,414 It's pretty annoying. 56 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:14,716 KAT: Mm-hmm. 57 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,294 Wait, why is that annoying? 58 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,546 I don't know, I mean, we have a great time together, 59 00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:20,973 but when I want to do my own stuff, 60 00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:22,966 he's just fine with it. 61 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,144 And not once have I caught him trying to look through my phone. 62 00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,137 What kind of a boyfriend is that? 63 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,639 Uh, the good kind that trusts you? 64 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,727 You know what Randi doesn't trust? Trust. 65 00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:35,562 I'm so excited for tonight. 66 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,157 My cousin Birdie found this bar that has a mechanical bull. 67 00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,492 Ooh, I got to remember to double-bra the girls. 68 00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:44,070 Ooh, riding a mechanical bull is on my whistle list. 69 00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:45,655 Don't you mean bucket list? 70 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,574 Everyone in my family calls it a whistle list 71 00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:49,409 because after you do it you go, 72 00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:52,287 -(wolf whistles) "Should've done that sooner." -(chuckles) 73 00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:55,174 I want to watch Phil ride a bull. I'm in. 74 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,959 No turning back now. What time do we go? 75 00:02:58,036 --> 00:02:59,344 Hold on. This is my night out. 76 00:02:59,421 --> 00:03:01,296 And I mean this with great respect: 77 00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:03,506 oldies get left in the cold-ie. 78 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,427 Hey, I may be nearing my 40th turn round the sun, 79 00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:10,263 and, sure, sometimes when I'm sitting in my rocking chair, 80 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:13,266 I can't tell if the squeaking sound is my chair or my knees. 81 00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:14,309 You have a rocking chair? 82 00:03:14,386 --> 00:03:16,361 It's a modern glider. 83 00:03:16,438 --> 00:03:19,522 My point is, I still feel like I'm in my 20s. 84 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,483 And between going to grad school to become a math professor 85 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,110 and changing my mind and opening my own business, 86 00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:26,205 I missed out on some prime partying. 87 00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,323 Oh, come on, Randi. We'll have fun. 88 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,367 Plus, Phil needs to check mechanical bull riding 89 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,160 off his whistle list. 90 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,879 I would love that. When I was a kid, 91 00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,288 we used to ride bucking goats. 92 00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:36,998 Mama'd say, "Don't you ride those goats. 93 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:40,594 Those goats aren't for riding." But we did. 94 00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:43,797 It's just that when Birdie and I kick it, 95 00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:46,391 we usually like to keep the party going until sunup. 96 00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:50,303 Oh, I see. The gauntlet has been thrown, has it? 97 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:52,055 Well, I pick up that gauntlet and I say, 98 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,565 "We shall party until the little hand's 99 00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:55,392 on the six and the big hand's on the 12." 100 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,561 That's time-telling, old person style. 101 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:02,190 Okay, fine, just try not to embarrass me while we're out. 102 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:05,235 -Of course not. -I would never. 103 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,528 I'm gonna dance like this. 104 00:04:06,604 --> 00:04:08,154 And I'm gonna dance like this. 105 00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,364 I'm gonna dance like this. 106 00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:12,251 I'm gonna dance like this. 107 00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,461 (country music playing) 108 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,916 (nasally): The midnight hour approacheth. 109 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:24,096 We shall celebrate bringing in the new day with souvenir cups. 110 00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:26,923 Are these drinks gray? 111 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,551 (regular voice): Yeah. It's called the Louisville Tombstone. 112 00:04:29,627 --> 00:04:32,437 'Cause after two of these, you'll be six feet under. 113 00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:35,432 I read that on the menu. 114 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,935 Which reminds me, I need to talk to you about my burial plot. 115 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,562 No. This is what I was afraid of. 116 00:04:40,638 --> 00:04:42,272 This is old people talk. 117 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,523 Well, my mother put it on hold, 118 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,400 and I only have 24 hours to decide. 119 00:04:45,477 --> 00:04:47,286 It's a very popular location. 120 00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:50,905 -People are dying to get in there. -(laughs) 121 00:04:50,982 --> 00:04:53,199 Shoot, my texts to Birdie aren't going through. 122 00:04:53,276 --> 00:04:55,118 I don't have any bars in this bar. 123 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,536 Hey. 124 00:04:56,613 --> 00:04:58,288 I figured you don't want a stranger buying you a drink, 125 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,132 so we should probably dance first. 126 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,301 -I can see that happening. -Oh... 127 00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:03,710 Uh, Randi, what are you doing? 128 00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,920 Aren't you and Daniel going steady? 129 00:05:05,997 --> 00:05:07,297 Oldie says what? 130 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,591 You know, uh, dating exclusively. 131 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,343 Daniel doesn't seem to worry about what I do without him, 132 00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:13,053 so why should I? 133 00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:15,263 ♪ Sometimes on the weekend I like to watch a movie... ♪ 134 00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,098 -This place is great. -(laughs): Yeah. 135 00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:18,483 Great. So great. 136 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,152 We're doing this. 137 00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:23,104 Yeah, we are. Sunrise or bust. 138 00:05:23,181 --> 00:05:25,073 (whoops) 139 00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:31,988 Do you think we're the oldest people in here? 140 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,282 By far. 141 00:05:34,359 --> 00:05:35,617 They're all thinking about drinking 142 00:05:35,693 --> 00:05:37,336 and rolling around with each other. 143 00:05:37,412 --> 00:05:39,788 But you know what I'm thinking about? 144 00:05:39,864 --> 00:05:40,955 Don't say it, Phil. 145 00:05:41,032 --> 00:05:42,957 -Sleeping. -(groans) 146 00:05:43,034 --> 00:05:44,918 Now you got me thinking about Frank. 147 00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,169 Who's Frank? 148 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,337 Frank is my body pillow. 149 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,513 He's made of memory foam 150 00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:53,093 and he has memorized every inch of my body. 151 00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:57,097 By chance, uh, do you and Frank have an open relationship? 152 00:05:57,173 --> 00:06:00,433 -(laughs) -I'm, like, freaking out right now, 153 00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:01,851 you're so cute. 154 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,187 Um, will you come dance with me and my friends? 155 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,315 Damn me and my teddy bear nature. 156 00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:10,527 -Oh, my gosh. Get on my back. -(grunts) 157 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,611 Giddyap, girl. 158 00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:14,030 (gasps) You guys, I got him! 159 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,415 (laughs) 160 00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:17,659 (yawns) 161 00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:20,161 Oh, I'm not tired. 162 00:06:20,238 --> 00:06:22,163 I'm not tired. 163 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,707 Just like a little tired. 164 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,000 (snoring) 165 00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:28,261 ♪ ♪ 166 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,548 (snores) 167 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,258 Oh. 168 00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:36,311 Oh, wow. I fell asleep standing up, like a horse. 169 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:40,056 Do some exercises, get my blood pumping. 170 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,516 Couple shoulder rolls. 171 00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:42,517 Twists. 172 00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:44,477 -Oh! -Oh! Man down, man down. 173 00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:46,062 -I am so sorry. -(shouts) 174 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,397 Okay, now I stepped on your foot. 175 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:50,242 Frank never would've let this happen. 176 00:06:55,273 --> 00:06:56,531 I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 177 00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,417 You hit me right in the button. 178 00:06:58,493 --> 00:07:00,326 Uh, by way of apology, here. 179 00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:02,370 Uh, reach in, grab whatever you want. 180 00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:04,164 There's-there's a lot of peppermints in there. 181 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,590 There-There's some fun hair clips. 182 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,551 Okay. I like hair clips. 183 00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:10,920 (laughs): Hey, you got my keys. 184 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,422 I think you mean my keys. 185 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:15,258 Well, in that case, I like your U of L keychain. 186 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,551 I used to have one just like it. 187 00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:18,052 -Oh, did you go there? -Yeah. 188 00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:20,096 -Oh, me, too. -Not to brag, 189 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,723 but I'm probably their hugest basketball fan. 190 00:07:21,799 --> 00:07:23,349 Well, since we're both not bragging, 191 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:26,111 when I was a student, I was the mascot. 192 00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:28,280 Shut your face. 193 00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:30,899 You were Louie the Cardinal? 194 00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:32,358 Uh, brag on, kind sir. 195 00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:34,527 As you wish, milady. Remember, like, ten years ago, 196 00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:36,571 at halftime, when the mascot took off at the half-court line, 197 00:07:36,648 --> 00:07:38,114 jumped on the trampoline, misjudged the hoop, 198 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,516 hit his head on the backboard... 199 00:07:39,518 --> 00:07:40,867 And then he had to be carried out on a stretcher 200 00:07:40,944 --> 00:07:42,452 and everybody chanted, "Louie! Louie!" 201 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,963 -That was me. -Oh, my God! 202 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,132 You're like a celebrity. 203 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:48,291 You know, I actually auditioned 204 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,293 to be the mascot my freshman year. 205 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,294 Oh, really? When was that? 206 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,462 Uh, nineteen-ninety... 207 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,214 let me buy you drink. (laughs) 208 00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:56,966 Why am I suddenly not admitting my age? 209 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,927 Maybe I am becoming my mother. 210 00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:03,389 It is weird that I don't know how old you are, Mother. 211 00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:07,268 I'm older than a seedling but younger than the Moon. 212 00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,103 I'm stronger than an oak 213 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:11,231 -and flexible like the wind. -Flexible like the wind. 214 00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:13,399 Sorry I brought it up. 215 00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:15,494 Well, saddle up, Grandpa. 216 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,071 Wait, wait, I'm getting on, too. 217 00:08:18,147 --> 00:08:20,165 (shouts) 218 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:22,167 ♪ I want to run... ♪ 219 00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,294 -Whoa. -(whooping) 220 00:08:26,248 --> 00:08:27,830 Whoopee! 221 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,457 ♪ ♪ 222 00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:31,834 ♪ Yippee-yi-oh, yippee-yi-ki-yay... ♪ 223 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,461 Randi? Phil? 224 00:08:33,538 --> 00:08:35,013 ♪ Lasso your heart, steal it away... ♪ 225 00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,589 Excuse me, sir. 226 00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:41,010 ♪ Want to lasso your heart, steal it away... ♪ 227 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,346 Looking for my friends. 228 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,014 ♪ Steal it away... ♪ 229 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,142 No, no. Randi, no. 230 00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:51,104 ("Man! I Feel like a Woman!" playing) 231 00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,022 ♪ Let's go, girls... ♪ 232 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,482 Finally, a song I know. 233 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,360 Sir, are there rules about dancing on the bar here? 234 00:08:57,371 --> 00:09:01,030 -Does this answer your question? -(laughs) 235 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,951 ♪ I'm goin' out tonight, I'm feelin' all right... ♪ 236 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,420 (cheering) 237 00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:12,542 I'm so glad I've practiced this on my kitchen counter at home. 238 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:16,680 ♪ Yeah, I want to scream and shout... ♪ 239 00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:19,224 Phil, look, I'm making money! 240 00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,217 (laughs) Oh! 241 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,894 ♪ No inhibitions... ♪ 242 00:09:22,971 --> 00:09:24,012 Oh... 243 00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:27,140 I'm okay. I'm okay. 244 00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,350 -Let's party. -(cheering) 245 00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:31,403 ♪ I ain't gonna act politically correct ♪ 246 00:09:31,479 --> 00:09:34,230 ♪ I only want to have a good time. ♪ 247 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,408 I can't believe we've been at the wrong club. 248 00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,192 Birdie's at The Bear and The Bull, 249 00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:39,578 not The Bull and The Bear. 250 00:09:39,654 --> 00:09:41,529 Phil, you scared me to death 251 00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:43,197 when I saw you go flying off that bull. 252 00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:44,490 I thought you were gonna die. 253 00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,992 Not a chance. Mama always taught me 254 00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:49,203 that if I fell from any height, just go limp. 255 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,298 That way, I wouldn't break anything. 256 00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:53,416 Randi, you scared me, too. 257 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,084 I mean, I don't want to judge, 258 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,336 'cause that would be an old people thing, 259 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,087 so I'll just keep it young and curious. 260 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,339 What were you doing rubbing up against that guy 261 00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:00,548 on the dance floor? 262 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,258 You have a boyfriend. 263 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,268 Again, I'm just asking in a young, cool, 264 00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:05,094 Blue's Clues kind of way. 265 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,221 Hey, those are the type of things that go down 266 00:10:07,298 --> 00:10:08,440 when young people party. 267 00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,442 Are you saying that you can't handle it? 268 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,101 Wh-- Are you kidding me? I was dancing 269 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,437 with a topless bartender and I made 23 bucks. 270 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,448 Which I then gave him 'cause I accidentally crushed 271 00:10:16,524 --> 00:10:17,765 his citrus squeezer. 272 00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:21,027 I don't know why, but that makes my nuts hurt. 273 00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:24,113 Ooh, I also punched a guy and we had an awesome conversation. 274 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,698 We have birthdays in the same month, 275 00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:27,200 although I'll be turning 40 and he'll be turning 30. 276 00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:29,535 Ooh, yeah, no, you don't need that hassle. 277 00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:32,246 Guys mature way later, so a 29-year-old dude 278 00:10:32,323 --> 00:10:34,540 is really like a 19-year-old boy. 279 00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:36,417 Oh, well, that's interesting, Randi. 280 00:10:36,494 --> 00:10:38,086 So you can comment on my relationship, 281 00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:39,253 but I can't comment on yours? 282 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,381 Oh, so now it's a relationship? 283 00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,091 No. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. 284 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:44,759 -Stop the car! Stop the car! -Oh, no. 285 00:10:44,836 --> 00:10:47,053 Are you gonna yak? 'Cause this outfit is dry-clean only. 286 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,554 No, look. 287 00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:50,640 That's the cemetery where I may or may not 288 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,434 take up permanent residence for all eternity. 289 00:10:53,511 --> 00:10:54,977 You want to check out my new digs? 290 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,154 Get it? Digs? 291 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,064 (laughing) 292 00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,991 I do get it. 293 00:11:01,569 --> 00:11:03,536 BOTH: Digs. 294 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,408 When I was a kid, we'd visit the cemetery all the time. 295 00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:11,661 Mama would put cigarettes on Pa-paw's grave 296 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:15,915 and then she'd say, "You can't die twice from smoking." 297 00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:18,459 Hey, I-I know where we are. 298 00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:22,004 My father's plot should be right over here. 299 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,131 Oh, my God. 300 00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:24,966 Kat, I'm coming. 301 00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:27,268 No, Phil, don't run. 302 00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:30,263 KAT: Are you okay? 303 00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:34,267 PHIL: I'm good. I just went limp again. 304 00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:36,519 At the beginning of the night, I thought you guys 305 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,739 only had one foot in the grave, but look at you now. 306 00:11:45,062 --> 00:11:46,612 -What should I do? -Can you please go find 307 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,039 a vine to pull us out? 308 00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:50,041 Like a, Like a thick vine. 309 00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:53,161 Where do you think we are that I have size choices of vines? 310 00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:56,998 Vine City? Vines"R"Us? 311 00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:59,342 Bed Bath & Vines? 312 00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:02,554 Probably a lot less roomy in here 313 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,172 when they put a coffin in it. 314 00:12:04,248 --> 00:12:06,507 Oh, we'll be fine. 315 00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:09,552 I was stuck in a well for three days when I was a kid. 316 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,346 Strangers lowered food down to me. 317 00:12:12,423 --> 00:12:14,640 I still can't eat a bologna sandwich 318 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:17,351 -without a fishhook in it. -Well... 319 00:12:17,428 --> 00:12:20,405 may as well get comfortable. 320 00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:23,483 Here lies Katharine Edith Silver, 321 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,662 optimistic human woman, albeit a little chilly. 322 00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:32,208 -This'll warm you up. -Oh. Thanks. 323 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,919 Mm. 324 00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:38,247 Ugh. Phil, I thought that was gonna be whiskey. What is that? 325 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,258 -Homemade bone broth. -Oh... 326 00:12:40,335 --> 00:12:43,211 I simmered it for eight hours. 327 00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,171 It's all kinds of peppery. 328 00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,423 Here, this one's whiskey. 329 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:51,052 -How many flasks do you have, Phil? -Only two. 330 00:12:51,128 --> 00:12:54,272 But I've got a little jerky if you get hungry. 331 00:12:56,351 --> 00:12:59,444 Mm... there we go. 332 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:03,114 That'll bring the party back. 333 00:13:03,191 --> 00:13:04,816 Well, it's a nice night out, isn't it? 334 00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:07,619 I can see the Big Dipper. 335 00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:10,455 You know, it's actually kind of cool. I mean, 336 00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:14,459 how many people get a view from their final resting place? 337 00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:16,294 You know, at some point we all start thinking 338 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:17,954 when the end will come. 339 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:21,374 I'm just glad you came into my life when you did. 340 00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,210 You've already helped me check a lot of things 341 00:13:24,287 --> 00:13:26,304 off my whistle list. 342 00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:31,476 You know, I don't know if it's all the Tombstones 343 00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:35,396 we drank talking, or the one we're lying under... 344 00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,308 ...but I don't want to die, Phil. 345 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:43,312 Oh, I know, honey. It's such a betrayal. 346 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,940 Just when you start getting good at life, 347 00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,400 it goes away. 348 00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,661 And no matter how young I feel, 349 00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:51,946 it's still gonna happen. 350 00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:54,666 I know. 351 00:13:54,742 --> 00:13:58,327 I'm gonna miss so many cool things in the future. 352 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,330 Technology. Time travel. 353 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,259 Pillows that cut your hair while you sleep. 354 00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:09,338 You know, but most of all, 355 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,182 I'm gonna miss fun nights like this 356 00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:12,925 with my friends. 357 00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,501 Aw. 358 00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:18,931 Hey. Birdie just texted and said she's at an all-night diner. 359 00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:21,642 She met this hot old guy that she's really into, 360 00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,185 and she wants to get my opinion of him. 361 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,271 But most importantly, can you believe that 362 00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:27,523 Daniel has not texted me once tonight?! 363 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,200 Did you text him? 364 00:14:29,277 --> 00:14:30,517 No, I'm not gonna text him. 365 00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,486 What kind of a desperate message would that send? 366 00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:35,281 Uh, I don't mean to make this all about me, 367 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,033 but we're stuck in a hole here. 368 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,376 Did you find a vine? 369 00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:40,703 No, but I did brainstorm, 370 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,381 and lucky for you... 371 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,174 I double-bra'd it. 372 00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:52,048 Ooh, what's the word? 373 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,216 Birdie's the word. 374 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,969 Oh, Kat, Phil, Birdie. Birdie, Kat, Phil. 375 00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:58,679 -Hi, Birdie. -Hi. 376 00:14:58,756 --> 00:15:00,890 -So how's it going with the hot old guy? -So good. 377 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,184 He's smart and sweet and posed for Playgirl 378 00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:04,393 back when he was in college. 379 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:08,147 Hey, I know somebody who did that. 380 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:09,190 BOTH: What are you doing here? 381 00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:11,993 Hi, Max. I rode a bull. 382 00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:14,695 Wait, you posed for Playgirl? 383 00:15:14,772 --> 00:15:16,247 I was just trying to put myself through school. 384 00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:19,292 Mm-hmm, that's what all the strippers say. 385 00:15:20,111 --> 00:15:21,410 How do you all know each other? 386 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,588 Oh, his strip club is right by our coffee shop. 387 00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:26,082 Okay, come sit down, and let me tell you 388 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,218 how I got all this blonde girl hair stuck in my bracelet. 389 00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,264 So, uh, is this what you do on your weekends? 390 00:15:33,341 --> 00:15:35,883 You, you get your party on and hook up with 391 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,343 much younger ladies and such? 392 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,054 I couldn't sleep and I wanted pancakes. 393 00:15:40,131 --> 00:15:42,098 Gotcha. You know, my grandpa used to get up 394 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,058 in the middle of the night for a snack, too. 395 00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:47,853 You're really hung up on this getting older thing, aren't you? 396 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,398 Age is just a number, Kat. 397 00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:52,024 Or to put it in a more philosophical way, 398 00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:55,069 you're only as old as your pee stream. 399 00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:57,279 Well, just so you know, Birdie said she's hanging out 400 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,614 with a hot old guy. 401 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:02,418 -She said I was hot? -(laughs) 402 00:16:04,655 --> 00:16:08,040 Hey, are you okay seeing Max with another woman? 403 00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:10,584 Uh, totally fine. 404 00:16:10,661 --> 00:16:12,211 Okay, I'm just saying, 405 00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:13,620 because that other woman may be my cousin, 406 00:16:13,698 --> 00:16:15,589 but I will shut that down tight if you want me to. 407 00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:18,092 Normally I would say blood is thicker than friendship, 408 00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:19,477 but Birdie did steal my prom date, 409 00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:21,429 and we still working through that. 410 00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:25,817 I promise you it's okay. We're just friends. 411 00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:29,603 He has to live his life and I have to live mine. 412 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,148 Oh, my gosh, that's the guy I punched. 413 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,158 Really? Oh, he's cute. 414 00:16:34,235 --> 00:16:36,736 -What are you thinking? -Well... 415 00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:39,113 I'm thinking, as the young people might say, "YOLO," 416 00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,073 which is "you only live once." 417 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,951 Don't want to have "FOMO," which is "fear of missing out." 418 00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:47,329 Let's not forgot Yo-Yo, a cellist of great renown. 419 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,966 Girl, get over there. 420 00:16:52,754 --> 00:16:54,587 Well, hello. 421 00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:56,589 No way. Hi. 422 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,349 In case you're wondering, I'm not stalking you. 423 00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:01,177 That's the first thing a stalker would say. 424 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,353 But I'm actually really glad you're here. 425 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,138 Also, you have dirt on your face. 426 00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:07,683 Oh, um, yeah, I-I fell into a freshly dug grave. 427 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,586 Another thing a stalker would say. 428 00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:16,367 She texts him at 4:00 a.m. and asks, 429 00:17:16,444 --> 00:17:18,527 "Are you in the mood for pancakes?" 430 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,488 He's not, but now he can't go back to sleep, 431 00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:23,199 so he drives over, but when he walks in the door 432 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:27,286 he realizes he's still in his slippers. 433 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,622 I kissed a guy tonight. 434 00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,333 Wow. Okay. 435 00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:37,004 -That's your reaction? "Okay"?! -I said "Wow." 436 00:17:37,081 --> 00:17:38,964 Ugh, I didn't really kiss a guy. 437 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,383 Well, then, why did you say you did? 438 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,053 Don't you know that when your girlfriend goes out without you, 439 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,420 you're supposed to act all jealous 440 00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:47,223 and text her constantly throughout the night? 441 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,724 How do you know I didn't track your every move 442 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,068 through your phone? 443 00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:52,645 -Did you? -No. 444 00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:53,905 Ugh! 445 00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:56,074 Randi, hold up. 446 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,567 I'm not sure what's happening. 447 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,528 I've done unhealthy relationships, 448 00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:02,404 and it sounds like you have, too. 449 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,491 But if you need me to be jealous or controlling 450 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,910 to recreate some familiar feeling from your past, 451 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,329 then it's not gonna happen. 452 00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:13,925 Then, besides giving me control of the remote, 453 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,292 how do I know you like me? 454 00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:18,262 (chuckles) I drove here in my slippers. 455 00:18:18,339 --> 00:18:20,506 And I think about you all the time 456 00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,007 when we're not together. 457 00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:25,261 And I want you to move in with me, 458 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,438 and I was trying to think of a cool way to ask you, 459 00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:30,182 but I wasn't sure if I was the flash mob type or not. 460 00:18:30,259 --> 00:18:34,186 And flash mob was the cool or uncool way? 461 00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,072 Can I take that as a yes? 462 00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:44,238 So I was thinking, you're about to turn 30. 463 00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:45,865 I've already been 30. 464 00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,575 Maybe we could go out sometime 465 00:18:47,651 --> 00:18:51,203 and I could give you some life spoiler alerts. 466 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,747 Okay, let's do it. 467 00:18:53,824 --> 00:18:54,757 Really? 468 00:18:55,659 --> 00:18:57,301 Yay. 469 00:18:57,378 --> 00:18:58,919 Okay. That's great. 470 00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:00,421 Boom! 471 00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:03,975 Wait, I don't have your number or know your name. 472 00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:07,553 But I do still have... (sings mini fanfare) 473 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,430 My keys. No way. 474 00:19:09,506 --> 00:19:11,983 What a satisfying feeling to get something back 475 00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:13,809 you didn't even remember you lost. 476 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,311 Yeah, the last club I couldn't find you, 477 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,988 and then I went all around the parking lot 478 00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:19,273 pressing the lock button hoping to hear a "whoop-whoop." 479 00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,233 And then I realized you probably took a car service home. 480 00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,493 I took a car service, yeah. 481 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:25,112 Anyway, uh, let me get your number. 482 00:19:25,189 --> 00:19:26,655 Yeah. Let me give it to you. 483 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,958 Let me give it to you good. Whoop-whoop! 484 00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:35,414 Aha! 485 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:39,010 We did it. We made it to sunrise. 486 00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:40,236 You know what this is? 487 00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:42,004 Me picking up the invisible gauntlet. 488 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,966 Me holding it over my head and dancing around with it. 489 00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:50,012 Fine, you both proved yourselves worthy of an all-nighter. 490 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,139 Oh, I love how everything just came together, 491 00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:53,349 like in a movie. 492 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,351 Oscar showed up at the diner. 493 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,694 Daniel showed up at the diner. 494 00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:58,979 That tattoo truck pulled up just as we were leaving. 495 00:19:59,056 --> 00:20:02,191 And we commemorated the night with our matching tattoos. 496 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,870 -Ankles aweigh! -Oh, those are so cute! 497 00:20:05,947 --> 00:20:07,529 I wish I would've got one. 498 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,040 Wha... Phil, you did get one. 499 00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,375 You just fell asleep in the chair. 500 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,161 PHIL: Well, where'd you come from, 501 00:20:14,238 --> 00:20:16,288 -little kitty paw? -(laughing) 502 00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,050 You know, this makes us more than friends. 503 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,292 This makes us like a gang. 504 00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,378 Like a badass kitty gang. 505 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,297 If you want to be a really badass kitty gang, 506 00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,466 we should keep it totally secret from everyone else 507 00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,343 and never talk about it again. 508 00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:33,397 -That is really badass. -(Randi laughs) 509 00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:36,225 The question is, how does a badass kitty gang 510 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:37,226 stay awake during work? 511 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,894 I feel like I'm gonna fall over. 512 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,405 I call dibs on first nap. 513 00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:43,565 All right, I'll fire up the espresso machine. 514 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,193 Better yet, I'll get us some coffee beans to chew on. 515 00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:50,531 And I'll just relive last night over and over in my mind. 516 00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:53,409 -(chuckles) -("Man! I Feel like a Woman!" playing) 517 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,587 ♪ Let's go, girls. ♪ 518 00:20:56,664 --> 00:20:58,631 ♪ ♪ 519 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,367 ♪ ♪ 520 00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:31,122 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 521 00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:34,667 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org