1
00:00:02,286 --> 00:00:04,077
Oh, hey. Welcome.
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,838
I'm just video-chatting
with Oscar.
3
00:00:06,031 --> 00:00:07,489
I met him at a club
and I asked him out
4
00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,675
because a-that's how I roll.
5
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,010
OSCAR (over phone):
Let me see your kitchen.
6
00:00:11,203 --> 00:00:13,237
Um, here we are.
7
00:00:13,255 --> 00:00:17,424
There's the fridge, the range.
8
00:00:17,576 --> 00:00:20,352
-Nice.
-Yeah, and not to brag,
but I own my own island.
9
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,855
North side of the island's
a pretty chill vibe,
10
00:00:23,048 --> 00:00:26,750
but on the south side
of the island, people get crazy.
11
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,086
(chuckles):
Very tropical.
12
00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:30,362
Where to next, my captain?
13
00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:33,607
Ooh, let me show you
my outdoor space.
14
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,183
(bird cooing)
15
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:38,762
This is my favorite part
of the apartment.
16
00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,064
-Nice view.
-Yeah, it is a nice view.
17
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,375
Sometimes I like to lean over
and look down into my café.
18
00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:46,286
It makes me feel proud.
Can you see the front?
19
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,288
-Uh, not yet.
-Oh.
20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,716
Um, can you see,
there's, like, a...
21
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,534
there's, like,
a cat statue by the door?
22
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,053
I can't quite tell.
23
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,721
(grunts)
Okay. Hang on.
24
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,222
Just... Whoa!
25
00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:58,873
-(soft thud)
-(bird coos)
26
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,284
Oh, my gosh, are you okay?
27
00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:02,877
All good, landed on the awning.
28
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,897
Looking a bird dead in the eye.
Freaking out a little bit.
29
00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,623
I can see it. Shoo, bird!
30
00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,275
Shoo, bird!
31
00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:11,737
♪
32
00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:17,317
Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean
33
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,486
you don't shower
after you get out of the pool?
34
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,413
Do you shower
after you take a bath?
35
00:01:21,606 --> 00:01:23,415
I would if my bathtub
was open to the public.
36
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,918
I would if someone
peed in my bathtub.
37
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,711
Thanks for joining in.
38
00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:29,813
See you Friday? Oh,
39
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:31,815
and not to get you too excited,
40
00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:34,426
but I got you a little something
for our six-month anniversary.
41
00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:36,261
Well, not to get you
too excited,
42
00:01:36,454 --> 00:01:39,098
but I got you
a little something-something.
43
00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:41,749
Oh, two somethings?
44
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,010
Yeah, I'm worth it.
45
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,846
(laughs)
Bye.
46
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,831
Uh-oh.
47
00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:49,516
-What's wrong?
-I didn't get him
a something-something,
48
00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:51,110
I got him a nothing-nothing.
49
00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,519
Because who gives a gift
50
00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,171
for your six-month
dating anniversary?
51
00:01:54,231 --> 00:01:56,189
It's sweet. He really likes you.
52
00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:57,950
Hmm, I just hope he's not
one of those lame-ass people
53
00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:00,193
that also celebrates
his half-birthday.
54
00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:01,695
Yeah, so lame.
55
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,864
I'm not just saying that
'cause my half birthday
56
00:02:04,016 --> 00:02:06,208
falls on Christmas
and no one ever remembers.
57
00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,444
Have you noticed
that there's a big old sag
58
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,871
in the awning?
59
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,614
Oh, well, Phil,
sometimes awnings have sags.
60
00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:14,282
It doesn't mean
something happened.
61
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,210
But it's a big old sag.
Like a piano fell from the sky.
62
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,528
Okay, Let it go, Phil.
63
00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:21,306
-(phone chimes)
-Oh, goody.
64
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,458
Oscar and I are on for tonight.
65
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,886
-Ooh, what are you guys doing?
-Just watching a movie
at my place.
66
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,463
Look at you,
taking things to the next level.
67
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,816
What level? Movie level?
I-Is that a level?
68
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,818
Well, nowadays, watching
a movie on someone's couch
69
00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:35,470
is kind of code
for definitely not
70
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,489
watching a movie
on someone's couch.
71
00:02:37,682 --> 00:02:40,567
Wait, what? I have never
heard of that before.
72
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,736
Yeah, it came
as a surprise to me, too.
73
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,072
Henry came over last week
to watch Casablanca.
74
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:51,061
By the time we got to the love
scene, we were the love scene.
75
00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:53,505
And we played it again.
76
00:02:53,698 --> 00:02:56,842
Well, uh, this is just
our first date.
77
00:02:56,993 --> 00:02:59,011
And-and I'm a "sex
on the first date" virgin.
78
00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:01,738
Not a virgin-virgin,
you know, just so you know.
79
00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,924
Uh, yeah, thank you
for clearing that up. (chuckles)
80
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,685
I'm changing it to dinner, out,
at a restaurant,
81
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,670
where they have
a strict policy: you know,
82
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,023
no shoes, no shirt, no sex.
83
00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:13,675
Okay, let's do a little thing.
84
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,344
Imagine Oscar
with no clothes on.
85
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,771
How does that make you feel?
86
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,846
Warm.
87
00:03:19,891 --> 00:03:22,350
Exactly.
So why rule it out?
88
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,687
I just wasn't raised to move
so quickly in relationships.
89
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,855
My mother taught me
to take it slow.
90
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,434
♪ If you give the man
your milk ♪
91
00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,452
♪ He won't want to buy the cow ♪
92
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:36,790
♪ And you'll make God cry. ♪
93
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,200
That is some
old-fashioned thinking.
94
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,128
Sex isn't about rules,
it's about chemistry.
95
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,372
Hmm.
I do like chemistry.
96
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,132
All those beakers and flasks.
97
00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,969
The Bunsen burner,
the eyeball rinse.
98
00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:51,805
Okay. Look, Kat,
I'm just saying that
99
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,716
if things are going well,
just don't rule it out.
100
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,735
'Cause I guarantee you,
29-year-old Oscar
101
00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:58,720
will definitely be
thinking about it.
102
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,905
I'm with Randi on this.
103
00:04:00,098 --> 00:04:01,631
You got to go
for what you want.
104
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:04,409
After all, you could
walk outside tomorrow
105
00:04:04,602 --> 00:04:06,578
and get hit by a meteor.
106
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,956
Maybe that's what happened
to the awning.
107
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,085
Hey, hey.
Just here for my lunch.
108
00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,828
Yeah, it'll be right out.
109
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,646
Oh, I forgot to ask you,
would you like sliced onions,
110
00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:19,149
diced onions, or caramelized
onions with that veggie burger?
111
00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:20,592
Uh, no onions, thank you.
112
00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:22,836
Yeah, that's not an option.
113
00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:24,596
I got a new produce vendor
and those geniuses sent me
114
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:27,266
a pallet of onions when I was
only supposed to get a box.
115
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,435
So you've found yourself
in a bit of an onion pickle?
116
00:04:30,628 --> 00:04:32,920
-Or maybe an onion jam?
-(laughs)
117
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,590
Am I laughing?
I'm not laughing.
118
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,833
They're not
charging me for them,
119
00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:38,092
but they're not
taking them back.
120
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,945
Well, I'll take a box
off your hands.
121
00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:42,355
I'll make my Grandma Silver's
famous onion relish.
122
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,782
Oh, I have a recipe
for onion relish, too.
123
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,525
It's been in our
family for generations.
124
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,268
Much like dry elbows.
125
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,955
Uh, might I suggest
we jar relish together?
126
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,198
I would relish that idea.
How 'bout tonight?
127
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,018
Uh, I can't tonight.
I have a-a thing tonight.
128
00:04:55,037 --> 00:04:56,036
A date.
129
00:04:56,188 --> 00:04:58,613
Oh. Oh, yeah?
With who?
130
00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,133
Um, that guy Oscar.
From the pancake place.
131
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:03,451
Remember that night
we both met people?
132
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,862
So, uh, what's going on
with you and Birdie, by the way?
133
00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:08,122
Oh, nothing.
That was just pancakes.
134
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:11,343
Yeah.
With a lot of syrup.
135
00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:12,936
My bad.
136
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,221
So, I'll, uh, text you
137
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,057
about doing the relish thing.
If that's okay?
138
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,133
Of course it's okay.
Why wouldn't it be okay?
139
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,635
Are we okay?
140
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,321
-Uh, yeah, of course we're okay.
-Okay.
141
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,655
I'll look forward to the text.
142
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,382
Oh!
And here is my takeout,
143
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,885
which I am going to take out,
as the name implies.
144
00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:30,053
Have fun.
145
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,237
I mean, on your date.
146
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,056
Not just eating your lunch.
147
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,499
Yeah, that's what
I assumed you meant.
148
00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:35,667
You too, have fun.
149
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,727
I will do my best.
150
00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:38,986
Dude, you're acting weird.
151
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,506
-No, I'm not.
-Yeah you are.
152
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:44,125
You're smile-talking.
My son used to do that
153
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,902
when I'd asked him
if he used the potty.
154
00:05:45,962 --> 00:05:48,680
Nine times out of ten,
I'd find a turd on the floor.
155
00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:51,833
And I think it's because
you got a little rejected there.
156
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,853
And I don't think that tall
handsome guy is used to that.
157
00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:57,097
(scoffs)
What are you talking about?
158
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,524
You wanted to make relish.
She wasn't available.
159
00:05:59,717 --> 00:06:01,751
Seems like
the tables have turned.
160
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,862
Don't you have something
to do in the back?
161
00:06:04,055 --> 00:06:05,847
And I would also like to
point out that "making relish"
162
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,941
sounds like a euphemism for sex.
163
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,427
I've got a keen ear
for such things.
164
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:12,429
♪ ♪
165
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:15,932
♪ It ain't my fault that
I'm out here getting loose ♪
166
00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:18,268
♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose ♪
167
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,453
♪ Gotta blame it
on my juice, baby ♪
168
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,882
-♪ It ain't my fault
that I'm out here making news ♪
-Hey!
169
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,200
♪ I'm the pudding in the proof ♪
170
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,595
♪ Gotta blame it
on my juice... ♪
171
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,332
(song stops)
172
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,043
Seems like you're ready
for your big date.
173
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,121
I just came up
for an outfit check.
174
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,806
Oh, you don't have to tell me
I look good, because I know
175
00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:41,900
I look good. Do you know how I
know? Because I feel good.
176
00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:45,219
I feel like Lizzo,
Gloria Steinem and Marie Curie
177
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,721
all rolled into one.
178
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,131
Well, I think
those women would have
179
00:06:48,191 --> 00:06:50,892
taken off their
mustache tape by now.
180
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,577
Oh, my gosh.
I forgot I still had it on.
181
00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:55,989
I used to help my mama with hers
at the end of every winter.
182
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,158
It's only supposed to be on
a few seconds.
183
00:06:58,310 --> 00:06:59,918
I just told you
I forgot I had it on.
184
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,402
Well, how long has it been?
185
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,070
I don't know.
186
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,072
I listened to that Lizzo song,
like, six times.
187
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,650
Six times!
188
00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:08,743
-I know what to do.
-Ow. No.
189
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,003
You can't pull it off fast.
190
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:11,488
Promise me you won't
pull it fast.
191
00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:13,080
I won't pull it fast.
192
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,158
Is this gonna be one of those
things where you say
193
00:07:15,177 --> 00:07:16,584
you won't pull it off fast,
but then you pull it off fast?
194
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,663
No, I promise.
I won't pull it fast.
195
00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:21,331
Good, because I don't know
where my skin ends
196
00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:23,650
and this thing begins.
197
00:07:24,561 --> 00:07:26,945
Oh! Oh, Phil! Oh...
198
00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:29,522
We both knew how this
was gonna go down.
199
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,241
We both knew.
200
00:07:43,622 --> 00:07:44,537
Everything okay?
201
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,280
Uh-huh.
202
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,191
That's just how I eat soup.
203
00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:52,862
No, actually, I...
I need to tell you something.
204
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,306
-Is it about your upper lip?
-It's about my upper lip.
205
00:07:54,499 --> 00:07:56,700
Yeah. Um...
206
00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,053
I'm a mentor to a group
of wayward girls.
207
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,372
And I was teaching
them how to toast marshmallows,
208
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:03,982
and they were like,
"Marshmallow fight!"
209
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,300
And I was like,
"No, that's dangerous."
210
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,062
But they didn't listen,
and an on-fire marshmallow...
211
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,564
(pops lips)
...stuck to my face.
212
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,233
Sorry about that.
213
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:14,976
It actually looks like
when my sisters would
214
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,312
wax their mustaches
and leave the wax on too long.
215
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,725
Or... that's exactly
what happened.
216
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,911
And when I said that
they would wax their mustaches,
217
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,988
what I mean is that
I would wax their mustaches
218
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,915
because they were too afraid
to pull it off themselves.
219
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,750
(laughs) But you can't
pull it off yourself.
220
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,068
Like, your hand won't let you.
221
00:08:32,128 --> 00:08:34,161
Yeah, that's what they said.
222
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,015
That's really sweet that you
would do that for your sisters.
223
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,092
I'm actually an only child,
which I always hated,
224
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:41,870
'cause there was no one to
go first or learn anything from.
225
00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:42,854
You also didn't
have anyone constantly
226
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:44,505
getting in your business.
227
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:48,009
My sisters keep texting me
asking how this is going.
228
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,603
(chuckles)
Good question.
229
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,423
So, how is it going?
230
00:08:53,525 --> 00:08:55,275
I think it's going great.
231
00:08:55,427 --> 00:08:57,852
By the way, I've never
had a woman ask me out before.
232
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,187
Couple of dudes,
but never a woman.
233
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:03,600
Well, I want to hear those
stories, so hold that thought.
234
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:07,120
Because right now, this woman
is going to the woman's room.
235
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,288
(chuckles)
236
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,790
Oh! Oh! Sorry.
237
00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:12,551
-Sorry. Sorry about that.
-Oh, here...
238
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,429
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Sorry.
239
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,467
This reminds me of when
we met and you punched me.
240
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,103
Yeah.
(chuckles)
241
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,214
Okay on your lip?
242
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,050
Um...
243
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:30,718
you'll have to
do it again to see.
244
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,462
Like, right now.
245
00:09:32,522 --> 00:09:33,863
Like, do it.
246
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,821
From here on out, you can
address me as Queen Randi,
247
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,324
Ruler of Dope Gifts
248
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,084
for Dope Boyfriends.
249
00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:47,827
Good evening, Your Majesty.
250
00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:49,662
We are not worthy.
251
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:53,091
(laughs) I paid my brother
to stand in line for four hours
252
00:09:53,284 --> 00:09:54,651
for these new release sneakers.
253
00:09:54,753 --> 00:09:56,502
And not that gift-giving
is a competition,
254
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,488
but I just won.
255
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:01,582
Ooh! Well, those are fly.
Can I be your boyfriend next?
256
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,009
Uh, no.
257
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,995
Damn. These are my size.
And my style.
258
00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:08,164
Hey, don't drool
on Daniel's shoes.
259
00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:10,850
You cannot give those shoes
to your man.
260
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,518
Randi, have you not
heard the saying,
261
00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:14,520
"If you give your lover shoes,
262
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,430
they'll use them to walk away"?
263
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,950
I have not heard that saying.
But I have heard the saying,
264
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:20,452
"Step on a crack,
break your mama's back."
265
00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:22,846
So does that mean
you don't step on cracks?
266
00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:24,271
Funny thing about that,
I actually
267
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,366
-went to school with a guy...
-No, uh-uh.
268
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,776
Well, I've never heard the shoe
thing, but now that I think
269
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,444
about it, the last gift
that I gave Stephanie before
270
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,523
she asked for a separation
was a pair of espadrilles.
271
00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:36,025
Well the receipt says
"non-refundable"
272
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,618
and "superstitions
aren't real,"
273
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,305
so my boo is gonna be kickin' it
in his new kicks.
274
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,974
♪ And he will walk 500 miles ♪
275
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,645
♪ Just to get away
from your front door. ♪
276
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,037
Give me those.
277
00:10:48,098 --> 00:10:49,630
I don't really believe that,
I just
278
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,040
thought of the song
and wanted to sing it.
279
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:52,709
Mm-hmm.
280
00:10:52,811 --> 00:10:55,487
-(vocalizing
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)")
-Oh!
281
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,948
(vocalizing continues)
282
00:11:08,785 --> 00:11:10,393
So...
283
00:11:10,412 --> 00:11:12,653
did we kiss while merging
onto the freeway?
284
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,913
We did.
285
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,006
-Was that safe?
-I don't know.
286
00:11:15,199 --> 00:11:16,733
I had my eyes closed.
287
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,176
(laughs)
288
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,680
Um, so...
289
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:25,700
I just want you
to know that, um...
290
00:11:25,702 --> 00:11:27,093
I'm feeling really good.
291
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,002
Me, too.
292
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,670
Like we have chemistry.
293
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:30,930
Same.
294
00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:32,415
So...
295
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:35,026
I'm totally on board
for first-date sex.
296
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,862
(voice squeaks):
Uh... okay.
297
00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,513
I-I mean, like, if you are.
298
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,183
I just thought, like, guys think
about sex all the time.
299
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,184
No.
300
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,761
We think about other stuff, too.
301
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:46,830
But now I'm just thinking
about sex.
302
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,449
Great. Let me, uh...
303
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,292
show you to the bedroom.
304
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,092
Hey, beautiful.
What took you so long?
305
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,555
You know, actually, I...
I might like to walk off dinner.
306
00:12:03,706 --> 00:12:05,798
I like to do a full circle
around the living room
307
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,392
before entering the bedroom.
308
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,043
You know, get the, uh,
get the old blood pumping
309
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,729
before we get the blood pumping.
310
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:13,214
Are you having second thoughts?
Because we can totally wait.
311
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,233
(chuckles):
No. I'm fine, I'm fine.
312
00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:16,568
Just give me a minute.
313
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:19,220
I'm gonna freshen up,
as ladies do.
314
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,055
No problem.
I'll, uh, be out here,
315
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:24,242
looking at my phone,
as... men do.
316
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,304
You saw Max in my bedroom
as well, right?
317
00:12:28,364 --> 00:12:29,956
Okay.
318
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,329
Okay, you need
to get it together, lady.
319
00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,072
You are way into Oscar,
320
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,574
so it makes no sense that
you should be thinking about Max
321
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,485
at a time like this.
322
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,670
SHEILA:
♪ If you give the man
your milk ♪
323
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,840
♪ He won't want
to buy the cow. ♪
324
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:49,250
Mother, get out of here.
325
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,327
There is no point
in these crazy thoughts.
326
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:53,329
Max's heart
will forever belong to me.
327
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,090
Go play
with your cute Oscar boy.
328
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,517
Who are you?
329
00:12:57,669 --> 00:12:58,851
Oh, this is
Max's ex-girlfriend Brigitte,
330
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,169
who lives in my mind.
331
00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:01,446
She makes me nuts,
332
00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:02,688
but I'm also trying
to learn from her.
333
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,948
I'm with you, Kat.
334
00:13:04,141 --> 00:13:05,599
I would hold out
indefinitely for me.
335
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,101
You know, just in case.
336
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,529
'Cause... it's me.
337
00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:10,696
(knocking)
338
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,198
OSCAR:
Everything okay in there?
339
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:13,774
Uh, yeah. Be right out.
340
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,201
Not doing anything weird
in here.
341
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,944
Just, uh, brushing my teeth.
342
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,838
Then you're gonna need this.
343
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,858
Carter, why are you here?
344
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,543
To point out that you do make
a lot of excuses to come over
345
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,953
to the bar in the middle
of the day to hang out with Max.
346
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,621
Good point.
347
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,382
No, I don't.
348
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:33,102
Oh. So it's to hang out
with me, then?
349
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:37,315
(exhales)
350
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,134
You are
an optimistic human woman
351
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,654
who has the opportunity
to have some intimate fun
352
00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:44,772
with your cute Oscar boy.
353
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,883
Don't mess this up.
354
00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:48,451
(exhales)
355
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,573
I'm ready.
(chuckles)
356
00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,575
(sighs, chuckles)
357
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,627
Let's do this, Max.
358
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,487
Who's Max?
359
00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,914
I'm sorry, what?
360
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,584
♪ ♪
361
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,429
It's the jalapeño that gives it
the unexpected kick.
362
00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:10,664
Cool.
363
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,850
Are you okay?
364
00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,500
Uh-huh.
365
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,520
How was the date?
366
00:14:15,713 --> 00:14:17,021
Uh...
367
00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,839
Something happen?
368
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,507
Kind of.
369
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,527
Something good?
370
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,087
Not really.
371
00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:28,274
You know, actually,
you might have a take on this.
372
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,942
Maybe. Lay it on me.
373
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,444
Well, uh...
374
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,855
Oscar and I were having
a lovely dinner, and...
375
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,542
then we came back here, things
were getting kind of steamy,
376
00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,711
and I went to say
his name and...
377
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:42,288
accidentally called him
something else.
378
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,716
Something offensive?
379
00:14:44,909 --> 00:14:46,050
No. Just...
380
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,552
another name.
381
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,869
A guy's name.
382
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,388
That was not his.
383
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,056
Oh, boy.
Yeah, I could see how that
384
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,540
would throw a little water
on the campfire.
385
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,043
(chuckles)
Could've used a little water.
386
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,230
Could see the smoke coming off
his shoes as he ran out of here.
387
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,550
So... whose name was it?
388
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,962
I'm not telling you.
That's not important.
389
00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:07,721
That part doesn't matter.
390
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,223
Was it mine?
391
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,633
What?!
392
00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,226
Well, otherwise
you would've just told me.
393
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,302
No! Gosh.
394
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,413
You can be such a narcissist.
395
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,065
(chuckles)
It was yours.
396
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,084
Okay.
397
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,494
I mean,
I'm sure you're freaked out.
398
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,087
If you want to leave,
that's fine.
399
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:24,422
You know, men seem to love
400
00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:26,073
just running out
of my apartment lately.
401
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,426
I'm not freaked out.
I mean, I'm also not comfortable
402
00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:31,370
with the way
you're waving that knife around.
403
00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:33,990
Kat, I'm sorry
that that happened.
404
00:15:34,092 --> 00:15:35,433
But I'm glad that you told me.
405
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,493
I mean,
it actually kind of makes sense
406
00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:39,328
that you would say my name
at a time like that.
407
00:15:39,389 --> 00:15:41,105
-Really?
-Yeah.
408
00:15:41,298 --> 00:15:43,499
Look, you're with this new guy
who you liked,
409
00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,518
but maybe, on a deeper level,
410
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,262
you want to be with somebody
who you know really well,
411
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,073
somebody you trust.
412
00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:53,600
Like me.
413
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,978
You're so right.
414
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,605
It had nothing to do with you.
415
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,701
It had to do
with how well I know you.
416
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,444
I am not a sex-on-the-first-date
kind of person.
417
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,204
I need to take a step back
with Oscar
418
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:06,522
and just get to know him better.
419
00:16:06,624 --> 00:16:08,874
I'm gonna go call him
right now.
420
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,284
-Max?
-Yeah?
421
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,452
Thank you so much.
422
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,529
It's just, it's really nice
423
00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:15,531
to be able to share this stuff
with you.
424
00:16:15,591 --> 00:16:18,810
I'll tell you exactly
what he said after we talk.
425
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,854
Glad I could help.
426
00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:28,444
♪
427
00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:32,381
-What's wrong with her?
-I don't know.
428
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,325
She's been like that
for two minutes.
429
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:37,053
I was about
to start dusting her.
430
00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,738
Randi, are you okay?
431
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,056
Uh...
432
00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:41,574
I just don't know what to do.
433
00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:43,334
I was on my way
to give Daniel his gift,
434
00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:45,169
but now I have it stuck
in my head
435
00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:46,896
that if I give him shoes,
that's bad luck.
436
00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:49,248
Oh, yeah, you can't give him
shoes-- he'll walk away.
437
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,509
It's just a silly superstition.
438
00:16:51,702 --> 00:16:54,053
Or, as I call it,
a "shoe-perstition."
439
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,255
Okay, was going for
a smile there.
440
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,907
It didn't work.
441
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,517
Well, I don't believe
in shoe-perstitions,
442
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:02,186
or superstitions,
but Daniel and I
443
00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:03,913
are about to move in together.
444
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:06,190
So what if I move in with him,
and then all of a sudden
445
00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,674
we start fighting all the time?
446
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,435
And then I start going
through his phone,
447
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:10,862
finding all these texts from
this woman that he works with,
448
00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:12,588
but they don't sound
like work texts.
449
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:15,091
And then all of a sudden
I'm sitting around going,
450
00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:17,518
"I shouldn't have given him
them damn shoes."
451
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,111
Then do not give him
those shoes.
452
00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:22,189
In fact, burn them
and throw the ashes in the river
453
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,618
and wash that bad juju
out of your life.
454
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,620
Okay, Phil.
455
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,789
Yeah, let's just take shoes
out of the equation.
456
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,457
We'll find another present.
457
00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:32,792
Uh, hey.
458
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,053
Buttons' skin condition
just cleared up.
459
00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:36,888
He's ready for adoption.
460
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,872
Come on, cats fix everything.
461
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,800
(high-pitched):
Happy six-month anniversary,
Daniel!
462
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,710
(chuckles)
Look, I'm already wrapped--
in fur!
463
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:46,789
-Oh, honey, she is not amused.
-No.
464
00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:48,608
♪ ♪
465
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:51,794
(imitates cheering crowd,
laughs)
466
00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:54,146
Hey, uh, thanks
for being so understanding
467
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,722
about the Max thing.
468
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:56,908
We're just,
we're really good friends.
469
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,634
You'd probably actually
get along well.
470
00:17:58,736 --> 00:18:00,820
I'm sure we would... Donna.
471
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,154
Oh. Ha-ha!
472
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,082
I see what you did there, Oscar.
473
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,566
Wait. I don't know
your middle name.
474
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:06,992
Do you have a middle name?
475
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,160
Bruno.
476
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,162
Oscar Bruno Martinez.
477
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,406
Katherine Edith Silver.
478
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,333
See, that's what I wanted.
479
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,335
Just, like, a...
like, a sex-free chance...
480
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,170
to get to know
each other better.
481
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,932
That sounds like a good plan,
because I really like you.
482
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,434
Oh. Not sure
how much you're gonna like me
483
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,586
when I wipe the floor with you.
484
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:28,589
Not gonna lie,
it's hot when you talk trash.
485
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,349
Oh, really?
Would it be hot if I said
486
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,668
you should stay off the court
and stick to dancing around
487
00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:34,837
in your little mascot costume?
488
00:18:34,897 --> 00:18:36,689
That is, like,
really, really sexy.
489
00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:38,116
It's a little hurtful,
but it's sexy.
490
00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:39,933
(laughs)
491
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,494
Is it gonna be sexy if I try
and steal the ball from you?
492
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,775
Wait, is kissing allowed
while we're getting
493
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,586
-to know each other?
-(laughs) Absolutely.
494
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,779
Oh.
495
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,358
Oh, I see.
You're deceptive and sneaky.
496
00:18:55,418 --> 00:18:57,260
I'm learning new things
about you.
497
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,513
(whoops)
498
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,816
Happy six month anniversary.
499
00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,133
This...
500
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,426
is for you.
501
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,529
Ooh.
(chuckles)
502
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,881
Onions.
503
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,399
Kind of weird.
504
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:21,993
Kind of like something
you get somebody as a gift
505
00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:23,736
during the Great Depression.
506
00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,571
Well, it's symbolic
for relationships.
507
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,981
You keep peeling back the layers
to get what you need,
508
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,226
and they get sweeter
when you heat them up.
509
00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:32,486
And I also brought some eggs,
510
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,413
cream and mushrooms,
because I'm gonna make you
511
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,749
a mean onion frittata
tomorrow morning.
512
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:40,569
Because after tonight,
you're gonna be hungry.
513
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,588
I was skeptical at first,
but I'm coming around
514
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,407
-to this onion gift.
-(laughs)
515
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,684
-I got you
a little something, too.
-Oh.
516
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,021
Sneakers?
517
00:19:50,214 --> 00:19:52,598
My mom used to say,
"Give your lover shoes,
518
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,767
they'll forever walk
by your side."
519
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,511
It's kind of hard to hear
your mama use the word "lover,"
520
00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:00,031
But I always liked
the sentiment.
521
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:03,092
Me, too. I can't wait
to share it with my friends.
522
00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,453
-(chuckles)
-Thank you.
523
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:09,540
You know what?
I am gonna send them a picture
524
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:12,785
of these right now.
(laughs)
525
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,439
♪ But I would walk 500 miles ♪
526
00:20:16,457 --> 00:20:19,533
♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪
527
00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:21,034
♪ Just to be the man ♪
528
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,796
♪ Who walked a thousand miles ♪
529
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,131
♪ To fall down at your door... ♪
530
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,617
Here are your chicken wings.
531
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,302
They look like onion rings.
532
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,939
Fried food is fried food.
533
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,808
He's right.
534
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,527
We'll just dip them
in something.
535
00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:43,315
♪ But I would walk 500 miles ♪
536
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:46,969
♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪
537
00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:50,915
♪ Just to be the man
who walked a thousand miles ♪
538
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,233
Now, don't be jealous.
They're just friends.
539
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,494
The only thing I'm jealous of
is his shoes.
540
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,313
DANIEL:
I know.
541
00:20:57,331 --> 00:20:59,239
Those are dope.
I've been trying to get a pair,
542
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,741
but I can't find them anywhere.
543
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:04,169
Well, I guess you
just weren't meant to have them.
544
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,430
(Kat and Max vocalizing)
545
00:21:06,623 --> 00:21:07,431
♪ Yeah ♪
546
00:21:07,624 --> 00:21:09,475
(vocalizing)
547
00:21:14,557 --> 00:21:15,606
♪ But I would walk ♪
548
00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:18,350
♪ 500 miles ♪
549
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:21,112
♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪
550
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:23,839
♪ Just to be the man
who walked ♪
551
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,766
♪ A thousand miles ♪
552
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,285
♪ To fall down ♪
553
00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:29,603
(tempo slowing):
♪ At your door... ♪
554
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,439
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
555
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,960
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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