1
00:00:01,693 --> 00:00:03,818
Okay. One, two, three.
2
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,229
(grunting)
3
00:00:05,247 --> 00:00:08,007
That was a tie
if I've ever seen one.
4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,566
Not that I can see that far.
5
00:00:09,585 --> 00:00:11,401
-I really shouldn't be driving.
-(chuckles)
6
00:00:11,462 --> 00:00:13,161
Good job.
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,163
How 'bout that?
My former crush, Max,
8
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:18,517
and my boyfriend, Oscar,
getting along like gangbusters.
9
00:00:18,710 --> 00:00:22,246
Hey. Want to try
my homemade salsa?
10
00:00:22,306 --> 00:00:23,838
You just poured it out of a jar.
11
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,917
Hey. Want to try
my home-poured salsa?
12
00:00:26,977 --> 00:00:28,418
(chuckling)
13
00:00:28,479 --> 00:00:30,029
Mm. Speaking of salsa,
14
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,256
do you want to go salsa dancing
with me sometime?
15
00:00:32,357 --> 00:00:33,774
Um, yes!
16
00:00:33,926 --> 00:00:35,183
And be warned...
17
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,852
(chuckles):
I am a great salsa dancer!
18
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,354
At sleepaway camp,
I had to choose
19
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,948
between salsa and archery,
and I chose salsa,
20
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,408
'cause Hunger Games
hadn't come out yet
21
00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:45,026
and we didn't know
how cool archery could be.
22
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,953
Well, I am excited
to go dancing with you.
23
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,438
I used to go with
my ex-girlfriend all the time.
24
00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:49,548
We had a lot of fun.
25
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,384
I hope that's not weird,
to bring up my ex.
26
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,294
No! Of course not.
27
00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:55,703
Everybody has a past.
28
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,205
I ain't scared of no ghost.
(chuckles)
29
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,116
What do you mean, "ghost"?
She's not dead.
30
00:00:59,176 --> 00:01:02,144
No, she's not.
I have no idea why I said that.
31
00:01:04,348 --> 00:01:05,972
Oh, Katharine.
32
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:08,883
You found a real winner
with this Oscar.
33
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,736
KAT:
He and I are gonna go
salsa dancing.
34
00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:12,554
Do you remember when I did salsa
at sleepaway camp?
35
00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:13,906
Polka.
36
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,407
No, it was salsa.
37
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,076
It was polka.
38
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:18,652
I remember the recital.
39
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,788
I had to buy you lederhosen.
40
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:23,473
Oh.
41
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:24,750
That's right.
42
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,144
They chafed.
(hisses)
43
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:29,213
♪ ♪
44
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:34,909
Hey.
45
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,261
I'm about to do a thing
46
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:37,988
where I keep bugging you
until I get what I want.
47
00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:40,248
So it's just a normal day then?
48
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:43,084
I got a Groupon
for a beginner salsa class,
49
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,587
and I didn't realize
I have to bring my own partner.
50
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,498
I thought "BYOP" meant
"bring your own paella."
51
00:01:49,393 --> 00:01:51,426
Couple things. Uh, that's
something you should be doing
52
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,927
with your boyfriend, and...
53
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,596
No, it's just the one thing.
54
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,431
Well, I can't ask Oscar.
55
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,342
I'm trying to get good at it
before I go dancing with him.
56
00:01:58,402 --> 00:02:00,344
You can't ask the person
you're trying to impress
57
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:01,862
to help you impress them.
58
00:02:02,014 --> 00:02:03,122
Max, please?
59
00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,349
You'll be fine.
You're a good dancer.
60
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:06,850
Yeah, but I've never done salsa.
61
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:08,627
And he used to do it
with his ex-girlfriend,
62
00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:11,463
so, in my mind, it's like she's
challenged me to a dance battle,
63
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:13,206
which I cannot lose.
64
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,116
I'm really sorry, Kat, but
I'm already a good salsa dancer.
65
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,952
So taking a beginner class
sounds muy boring.
66
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,454
Wait, you salsa?
67
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:21,365
Mm-hmm. I picked it up
when I was living in Barcelona.
68
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:24,034
Brigitte and I would hit
the salsa clubs all the time.
69
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:26,536
We were known
as les meilleurs à la salsa.
70
00:02:26,597 --> 00:02:28,814
Wh-What does that mean?
71
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,316
It means our chemistry
electrified the dance floor
72
00:02:31,509 --> 00:02:32,709
and people would stare,
73
00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:34,711
wishing they were us.
74
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,822
That little phrase
means all that?
75
00:02:39,276 --> 00:02:41,385
Well, if you're so advanced,
why don't you teach me then?
76
00:02:41,486 --> 00:02:43,220
You've been saying
you want to do more tutoring.
77
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:44,329
Tutor away!
78
00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,405
Show me all your salsa moves--
79
00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:47,649
mild, medium and extra spicy.
80
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,150
Come on, Max.
81
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,318
Just, like, two lessons.
82
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,962
Uh, I don't think so.
83
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,822
Oh, I get it.
84
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,823
Get what?
85
00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,825
You don't know how to salsa.
86
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,920
-(scoffs)
-You lied about it to get out
87
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,589
of going to the class and
now you're just doubling down.
88
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,849
I know how to salsa.
89
00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:05,500
Yeah, I-I don't think you do.
90
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,260
I mean,
I've watched a lot of videos,
91
00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:10,022
and you can just tell when
someone has that salsa de fuego.
92
00:03:10,215 --> 00:03:12,416
Oh, I have the salsa de fuego,
93
00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:14,175
and it is muy caliente.
94
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,360
Tonight.
95
00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:16,361
At 8:00.
96
00:03:16,554 --> 00:03:17,754
Okay then.
97
00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,423
Tonight at 8:00.
98
00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:21,091
I'll believe it when I see it.
99
00:03:21,109 --> 00:03:23,035
(chuckles)
100
00:03:24,154 --> 00:03:26,872
Randi, honey, I'd be careful
drinking that much caffeine.
101
00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:31,192
That's how we induce labor
if a sow's past her due date.
102
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,286
I didn't sleep at all
last night.
103
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:34,604
I tried counting sheep,
104
00:03:34,665 --> 00:03:35,714
but then they all had
Daniel's face,
105
00:03:35,907 --> 00:03:38,032
and I got so mad.
106
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,444
You want one
of my mama's sleeping pills?
107
00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:42,462
She left some at my house.
108
00:03:42,614 --> 00:03:44,056
I always wait
till she's zonked-out on one
109
00:03:44,249 --> 00:03:47,208
before I cut her toenails
or she might kick me.
110
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,452
See this tooth?
111
00:03:48,512 --> 00:03:49,603
Fake.
112
00:03:51,089 --> 00:03:53,457
I'm willing to try anything
at this point.
113
00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:54,716
Okay, I'll bring some tomorrow.
114
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:55,901
But you be careful.
115
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:58,070
I took one
on a flight to Lubbock.
116
00:03:58,221 --> 00:03:59,738
I thought
I went to the bathroom.
117
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,798
I actually peed
in the middle of the aisle.
118
00:04:01,858 --> 00:04:03,575
Had to spend
the rest of the flight zip-tied
119
00:04:03,768 --> 00:04:05,285
to my tray table.
120
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,413
Hey, Randi.
Check it out.
121
00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:11,475
I just got the cutest dress
to go dancing with Oscar.
122
00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:13,234
Ooh, that's hot.
123
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,479
But you know that thing's not
gonna make you dance any better.
124
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:17,647
It's not like the suit
from Iron Man.
125
00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:19,424
Yes, I've got that covered.
126
00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:20,926
Max is gonna teach me.
127
00:04:21,119 --> 00:04:23,428
Uh, do you really think
that's a good idea,
128
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,155
considering
that you've had a crush on Max
129
00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,081
-for the past two decades?
-(sighs)
130
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,083
I've given it a lot of thought,
and here's why it's fine.
131
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,328
I'm completely falling
for Oscar.
132
00:04:31,346 --> 00:04:33,087
So, right now,
every other man in the world
133
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,983
is just a sexless "blech"
in a baseball cap.
134
00:04:36,968 --> 00:04:38,502
Oh, uh, not you.
135
00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:39,444
Not him.
136
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:40,928
He's not a sexless "blech."
137
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,264
-(mouths)
-(Phil shrieks)
138
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:44,616
Oh, my Lord, child,
it's a miracle.
139
00:04:44,768 --> 00:04:46,285
-What, Phil?
-What's a miracle?
140
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,705
This bun looks exactly like
the Holy Mother herself.
141
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,106
Looks like Dolly Parton.
142
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:52,940
Exactly!
143
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:55,109
That's what I said.
144
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,611
Did you bake it like that
on purpose?
145
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,631
No! She just magically appeared.
146
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,282
The spitting image
147
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:05,787
of Dolly from the October 1978
cover of Playboy.
148
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,472
I remember,
'cause that's the only time
149
00:05:07,624 --> 00:05:09,933
-I bought that filthy magazine.
-(Kat chuckles)
150
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,855
(salsa music playing softly)
151
00:05:15,891 --> 00:05:17,298
Now,
152
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,966
I want you to imagine
a string coming out
153
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,635
of the top of your head,
like a puppet.
154
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,212
Ooh, I like marionettes.
155
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:23,971
I still have my favorite,
Lady Juniper, upstairs.
156
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,324
-Kat, I don't care.
-Okay.
157
00:05:25,517 --> 00:05:26,658
Now...
158
00:05:26,851 --> 00:05:28,885
(inhales)
think about the string
159
00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:29,995
and look at me.
160
00:05:30,188 --> 00:05:31,738
(laughs)
161
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:33,481
-What?
-I'm sorry.
162
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,167
I'm just having a laugh.
163
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,501
'Cause, like, I'm looking at you
but, like, we're staring...
164
00:05:36,694 --> 00:05:38,061
Kat, be serious.
165
00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:39,987
With salsa,
eye contact is the way
166
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:41,673
-to connect with your partner.
-Okay.
167
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:43,324
-(inhales)
-Huh?
168
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,085
-I'm gonna be looking at you...
-Mm-hmm.
169
00:05:45,237 --> 00:05:46,736
but I'm gonna be thinking
about cats.
170
00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:49,089
-Don't think about cats.
-Oh, it's already happening.
171
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,240
♪ ♪
172
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,741
Focus.
173
00:05:51,802 --> 00:05:53,018
Listen to the music.
174
00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:54,335
Okay.
175
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,854
There you go.
You're getting it.
176
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,672
Oh, look at me.
177
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,099
Making my salsa.
178
00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:00,417
Chopping my onions.
179
00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:02,510
Adding my lime juice.
(giggling)
180
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,512
What did I say about jokes?
181
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,089
Not to make them.
182
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,349
And what did I say
about eye contact?
183
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,260
To have it.
184
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,352
Good.
185
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,096
Now...
186
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:14,856
keep the hips moving in time.
187
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,100
Feel the rhythm
188
00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:19,861
and let my body tell your body
where it should go.
189
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,755
♪ ♪
190
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:26,968
("Swift Cubano" by Juan Zavala
and Eddie Grey playing)
191
00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:35,435
♪
192
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,889
Remember when I didn't think Max
teaching me would be a problem?
193
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,158
I'm starting to see the problem.
194
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,894
Problem solved.
195
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,155
(pants)
Where'd that come from?
196
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,248
From me.
197
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,565
Feeling the rhythm,
198
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,584
telling my body
where it should go.
199
00:06:59,777 --> 00:07:01,420
-(chuckles)
-(grunts)
200
00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:09,819
Randi, it's 1:00 in the morning.
What are you doing out here?
201
00:07:09,838 --> 00:07:12,839
(chuckles) I couldn't sleep,
so I figured I'd go for a run.
202
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,599
Sounds like you got ex-somnia.
203
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,326
Don't you mean "insomnia"?
204
00:07:16,386 --> 00:07:19,086
If you're thinking
about your ex, it's ex-somnia.
205
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,665
Yeah, well,
then that's what I got.
206
00:07:21,683 --> 00:07:23,667
You know, I've been trying
online blackjack
207
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,168
for my ex-somnia.
208
00:07:25,187 --> 00:07:26,853
Getting my drink on
helps a little bit, too.
209
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,005
Yeah.
210
00:07:29,024 --> 00:07:30,598
You might be right.
211
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,099
I think I'm gonna go check out
this cute little bar
212
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:33,618
that's still open
down the street.
213
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:36,496
-Jog your ass in here.
-(chuckles)
214
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,293
Mother, did you get my message
about Phil's Dolly bun?
215
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:42,852
Why do you think I'm here?
216
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,855
Oh, Phil,
my pageant friend Jeannie
217
00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:47,357
is Dolly's new publicist,
218
00:07:47,459 --> 00:07:49,784
so I shared the picture with her
on Insta,
219
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,470
and she showed it to Dolly.
220
00:07:51,663 --> 00:07:52,637
Oh, Sheila.
221
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:54,698
If you are pulling my leg,
222
00:07:54,716 --> 00:07:58,626
I'll cut yours off and slap you
across the face with it.
223
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,145
I am not kidding!
224
00:08:00,338 --> 00:08:02,555
And she said Dolly's performing
tonight at the Opry
225
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,149
and if we can get down
to Nashville,
226
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,043
she'll take a picture with us
and the bun
227
00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,378
after the show.
228
00:08:08,438 --> 00:08:10,714
Meeting Dolly's
on my whistle list.
229
00:08:10,732 --> 00:08:12,882
I worship the ground
she walks on.
230
00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:15,218
(squealing)
231
00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:17,554
Oh, Kat! Please, can I leave?
232
00:08:17,614 --> 00:08:20,832
Of course. You can't pass up
an opportunity like that.
233
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:23,150
And don't forget to tell Dolly
Parton about Dolly Purr-ton.
234
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,652
PHIL:
Oh, thank you!
235
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,988
Thank you, thank you!
236
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,840
-Hey.
-Hey.
237
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:30,917
I'm, uh, literally sore.
238
00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:32,252
Like I worked out last night.
239
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,012
-Like I did leg day.
-(chuckles)
240
00:08:34,205 --> 00:08:35,663
Can you stop smiling at me
like that?
241
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,407
You're making me feel exposed.
242
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:38,758
I'll try.
243
00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:40,577
-Nope, not possible.
-(laughs)
244
00:08:40,637 --> 00:08:43,246
Uh, and I have class tonight,
so I won't see you.
245
00:08:43,306 --> 00:08:44,189
But I will be thinking of you
246
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,915
and thinking of last night.
247
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:47,584
Well, I can't stop you
from thinking,
248
00:08:47,686 --> 00:08:48,860
so think away.
249
00:08:49,053 --> 00:08:50,770
(chuckles)
250
00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:52,697
Randi. Randi.
251
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,515
Can I run a moral quandary
by you?
252
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,093
You know how I had that salsa
lesson with Max last night?
253
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:58,961
-Uh-huh.
-Well, afterward,
254
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:03,375
I had a particularly sensual,
consensual evening with Oscar.
255
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,359
Kat, we're roomies.
I heard everything.
256
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,437
It sounded like y'all
was installing hardwood floors
257
00:09:07,455 --> 00:09:08,288
in there.
258
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,881
Okay.
259
00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,457
Not embarrassed by that at all.
260
00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,109
Well, I-I'm feeling
a little guilty
261
00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:15,111
because I think
I may have transferred some
262
00:09:15,213 --> 00:09:17,222
of the spiciness of salsa
with Max to Oscar.
263
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,723
It was just really...
264
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,450
Wh-What was that for?
265
00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:21,951
I told you
you were playing with fire.
266
00:09:22,012 --> 00:09:23,620
I had to put you out.
267
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,122
Okay, but I-I don't want
to be with Max.
268
00:09:26,224 --> 00:09:27,566
I want to be with Oscar.
269
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,383
The problem is
you didn't tell Oscar
270
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,885
that you were dancing with Max.
271
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,812
-(sighs)
-Or getting heated up by Max.
272
00:09:32,964 --> 00:09:34,297
And unless you're planning
a surprise party,
273
00:09:34,357 --> 00:09:36,408
you should hide nothing
from your partner.
274
00:09:36,601 --> 00:09:37,409
Okay, but what...
275
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:39,286
Nothing.
276
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,138
Hey, teach.
277
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,656
Great dance lesson last night.
278
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,159
Thank you, thank you.
Great learning last night.
279
00:09:46,311 --> 00:09:47,943
(chuckles)
280
00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:50,480
-I actually have to cancel...
-I have to cancel tonight.
281
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,649
-Why can't you make... (laughs)
-Why can't you make... (laughs)
282
00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:54,075
You go first.
283
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,760
Well, honestly...
284
00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:58,655
it felt a little bit
like I was cheating on Oscar.
285
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:00,081
Like, 'cause I was dancing
286
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,766
with another guy.
Even though it's you.
287
00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:03,660
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
I felt a little weird, too.
288
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,511
-Especially 'cause it's salsa.
-(exhales)
289
00:10:05,664 --> 00:10:07,254
Exactly. Like, if it were polka,
290
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,090
we wouldn't even be having
this conversation, you know?
291
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,851
Polka's a lot more oom-pah-pah,
a lot less "ooh, papi."
292
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,778
(chuckles)
293
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,947
You know what would be great?
294
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,690
-Hmm?
-Is if you had a girlfriend
295
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:19,843
and the four of us
could all go dancing together.
296
00:10:19,903 --> 00:10:20,785
You know? Get on that.
297
00:10:20,978 --> 00:10:21,936
Get yourself a girlfriend.
298
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,288
Well, I'm working on it.
299
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,124
-Oh, really? With who?
-With Brigitte.
300
00:10:26,317 --> 00:10:28,609
I'm actually making
a little progress on that front.
301
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,462
Oh. That's great.
302
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:32,689
Yeah, in fact, I'm thinking
about surprising her
303
00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:33,781
in Paris this summer.
304
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:34,782
Like...
(inhales)
305
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,450
Like, a big, grand gesture.
306
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,136
Probably something
on the Eiffel Tower.
307
00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:40,287
Wow, that sounds so romantic.
308
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,456
That way, if she rejects me,
you know, I can just...
309
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,516
boop.
310
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,386
You're gonna push her off?
311
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:48,388
I'm just saying,
it gets windy up there.
312
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,464
(laughs)
313
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,542
Your friend says
that when we get to the Opry,
314
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:55,044
we give the password
to the security guard.
315
00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:56,988
"Hard Candy Christmas."
316
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,715
Then we can pull
317
00:10:58,775 --> 00:11:00,975
right up to her tour bus!
(chuckles)
318
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,385
(both squeal)
319
00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:03,811
-(chuckles)
-You know, I never told
320
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,388
Katharine, but...
321
00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:07,999
I had a bit of the baby blues
after I had her.
322
00:11:08,192 --> 00:11:09,893
So I would play Dolly's
323
00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,819
"I Will Always Love You"
on a loop
324
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:15,322
to remind me how I was
supposed to feel about my baby.
325
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,843
And eventually, I did.
326
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:22,422
The song that got to me
was "Coat of Many Colors."
327
00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:23,848
If I ever opened a bakery,
328
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,143
I was gonna call it
Coat of Many Crullers.
329
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,596
Guess what our hours
were gonna be.
330
00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:31,915
9:00 to 5:00?
331
00:11:31,975 --> 00:11:33,674
Bingo.
(laughing)
332
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,843
(laughs)
333
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,362
Oh, oh. Uh-oh.
334
00:11:37,555 --> 00:11:39,698
Looks like we're hitting
a bit of traffic.
335
00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,348
Oh, it's probably just a bend
in the road.
336
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,593
Nothing to worry about.
337
00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:45,662
(siren wailing)
338
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,451
Nope.
339
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:54,120
Still not gonna worry.
340
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,716
(sighs) I have been watching
salsa videos
341
00:11:57,909 --> 00:11:59,217
for the past three hours.
342
00:11:59,368 --> 00:12:00,777
It started
with instructional videos,
343
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:02,554
but then
it turned into salsa fails.
344
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:04,889
I watched a guy try and salsa
with a kangaroo.
345
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,783
The kangaroo was not having it.
346
00:12:06,843 --> 00:12:09,728
Grabbed that guy by the collar,
kicked him right in the nuts.
347
00:12:09,921 --> 00:12:11,563
Ooh, that sounds horrible.
348
00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,623
Can you send me that video?
349
00:12:13,683 --> 00:12:15,382
Yeah, no problem.
350
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,551
Every time I close my eyes,
I see salsa fails.
351
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,220
I don't know
how I'm gonna get to sleep.
352
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:20,721
Oscar's working.
353
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,149
I don't know why I'm looking
in the fridge.
354
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,317
Hey, do you want to watch
355
00:12:24,469 --> 00:12:25,726
a movie with the sound off
356
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,412
and make the people say
whatever we want?
357
00:12:27,605 --> 00:12:29,563
Uh, no, I'm okay.
I'm gonna go for a run.
358
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,307
They've been helping me relax.
359
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:32,917
Hmm. I don't like you running
at night.
360
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,586
You know,
I have a holiday sweater
361
00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:36,813
that has real lights on it
that you could wear.
362
00:12:36,831 --> 00:12:38,256
Oh, but then you'd be running
in an itchy sweater.
363
00:12:38,407 --> 00:12:39,758
Never mind. Have fun.
364
00:12:39,951 --> 00:12:41,408
(chuckles): Don't worry,
I'm not going that far.
365
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,002
And if you're having problems
getting to sleep,
366
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:46,080
why don't you take one
of Phil's mama's sleeping pills.
367
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,657
-Oh. All right.
-All right.
368
00:12:47,759 --> 00:12:49,250
-Have a good time.
-(door opens)
369
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,352
-Have a good night. Bye.
-Be safe.
370
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,665
"Take as needed"?
371
00:12:55,725 --> 00:12:57,484
Hmm.
372
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:03,597
(snoring)
373
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,909
BRIGITTE:
Wake up, cheater.
374
00:13:07,979 --> 00:13:09,287
Brigitte?
375
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,105
What are you doing here?
376
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,457
I am very mad at you.
377
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:16,503
You have been dancing
with my boyfriend.
378
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,954
I told him I am not dancing
with him anymore.
379
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,455
Oh!
380
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,457
I even told him
that I wished that you were here
381
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:31,884
so we could all
hang out together.
382
00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:33,311
That is very generous.
383
00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:35,963
I like you on sleeping pills.
(chuckles)
384
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,982
I don't think they're working.
I'm not even tired.
385
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,209
Mm.
386
00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:41,528
You know,
I found your therapy website.
387
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,322
I see your name.
I see your e-mail address.
388
00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:45,882
But I don't see
any pictures of you
389
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,567
'cause Max said
you have so many stalkers.
390
00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:50,887
Yes. I even tried to post
a weird one of me mid-sneeze.
391
00:13:50,947 --> 00:13:53,222
-But no. The stalking continued.
-Mm.
392
00:13:53,324 --> 00:13:55,074
I see a picture, oh,
of a happy couple
393
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,167
staring at a waterfall.
394
00:13:56,319 --> 00:13:57,818
You know...
(smacks lips)
395
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,486
That makes me thirsty.
That makes me want root beer.
396
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,172
Do you want some root beer?
I got a guy.
397
00:14:01,365 --> 00:14:02,656
I would love root beer
398
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,916
-if it tastes like wine.
-You know what?
399
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,585
I'll just get you some wine.
400
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,828
Then you are picking up
what I am putting down.
401
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,264
(laughs)
402
00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:12,851
(horns honking)
403
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,185
-(phone chimes)
-Ah.
404
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,687
Oh, your friend says
405
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,856
that Dolly
is halfway through her set.
406
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:21,751
If things pick up,
we could still make it.
407
00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:24,696
-I'm starving, Phil.
-Me, too.
408
00:14:24,889 --> 00:14:26,513
I have an antacid
409
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,992
that I was not gonna
tell you about.
410
00:14:30,153 --> 00:14:32,261
But I will split it with you.
411
00:14:32,322 --> 00:14:36,190
You know, if we're stuck here
much longer, we could...
412
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,025
Do not even think about it,
Sheila.
413
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,754
I'll slice you
like a Honey Baked Ham.
414
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:46,467
You just lost your half.
415
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,631
Okay, so,
416
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,282
-you have to split those eights.
-Okay.
417
00:14:53,384 --> 00:14:54,450
Okay, now hit here.
418
00:14:54,552 --> 00:14:56,953
Stay. Now hit this one.
419
00:14:57,013 --> 00:14:58,730
-Ooh, that's what
I'm talking about.
-(chuckles)
420
00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:00,881
Told you. My grandpa taught me
how to play blackjack.
421
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,384
It's how I put myself
through grade school.
422
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,069
(chuckles)
I kept trying to get Daniel
423
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:06,720
to go down to the riverboat
with me, but he kept saying,
424
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,722
"Gambling
is a frivolous waste of money."
425
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,483
You know,
the more I think about it,
426
00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:13,486
the more I realize that he had
a big old stick up his butt.
427
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,413
You need to be
with somebody easygoing
428
00:15:15,606 --> 00:15:17,248
and knows how to have fun
like you do.
429
00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:19,250
Mm-mm. Randi doesn't need to be
430
00:15:19,443 --> 00:15:21,477
with anybody but Randi
right now.
431
00:15:21,537 --> 00:15:23,646
I get that. And Carter is
only dating Carter
432
00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:25,815
-for a while.
-(chuckles): And why is that?
433
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:27,984
'Cause CJ can't stand
his mom's new boyfriend.
434
00:15:28,086 --> 00:15:29,594
And listening to him complain
about that dude
435
00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,095
is the best part of my weekend.
436
00:15:31,288 --> 00:15:32,913
-(laughs)
-Yeah. I can't
437
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,157
get a girlfriend
and give Stephanie
438
00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,600
that same satisfaction.
439
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,751
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, I just need
440
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:40,997
to start having some fun
where feelings don't ruin it.
441
00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:44,350
Like a friends with benefits
type situation?
442
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:48,854
Well, I don't know if that ever
really works out for anybody.
443
00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:52,341
Yeah. It's the kind of thing
you dream about, though.
444
00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:53,993
(banging at door)
445
00:15:55,646 --> 00:15:57,372
Uh-oh, busted.
446
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,961
Hey, Kat. What's going on?
447
00:16:03,154 --> 00:16:04,629
RANDI:
Hey.
448
00:16:04,822 --> 00:16:07,190
Uh, are you okay, Kat?
449
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,842
♪ Everybody dance now. ♪
450
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:13,554
Uh...
451
00:16:21,389 --> 00:16:22,480
Kat.
452
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:23,815
You don't even see me.
453
00:16:24,008 --> 00:16:27,402
♪ Root beer is the best beer. ♪
454
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,880
Uh-oh. She must have taken
455
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,306
one of Phil's mama's
sleeping pills,
456
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,382
and she's having a reaction.
457
00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:35,642
You mean tripping her balls off.
458
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:36,995
I'm gonna make sure
she gets home okay.
459
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:38,997
Okay. Okay.
460
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:40,647
Damn.
461
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,626
I just got Kat-blocked.
462
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:52,735
Hey. I brought you some coffee.
463
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:54,904
What happened in here?
464
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,497
Uh, you did.
465
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,242
You were sleepwalking
last night.
466
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,352
After my run, I found you trying
to get into the Middle C.
467
00:17:01,504 --> 00:17:03,079
I was sleepwalking?
468
00:17:03,097 --> 00:17:05,023
Yeah, you were. And then,
when I brought you back,
469
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:07,266
you insisted that we bring
all the cats upstairs
470
00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:08,751
because they had never seen
your room
471
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,446
and you wanted to sleep
under a cat blanket.
472
00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:14,940
Uh, it must have been
the sleeping pills,
473
00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:17,017
'cause I don't remember
any of that.
474
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,761
Any of it?
475
00:17:18,821 --> 00:17:20,596
Like, like, none of it?
476
00:17:20,656 --> 00:17:23,207
I vaguely remember
braiding Brigitte's hair,
477
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:24,542
but that's it.
478
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:26,360
Wait,
Max's ex-girlfriend, Brigitte?
479
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,530
Never mind. Hey, Mr. Mousekers,
this is my hand-carved bed.
480
00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:31,198
It's been passed down
for generations.
481
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,550
And you remember Randi.
482
00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:34,969
(yawning):
From downstairs.
483
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:40,224
I can't believe we missed her.
484
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:43,119
I can't believe we urinated
in front of each other.
485
00:17:43,221 --> 00:17:45,480
Twice.
486
00:17:46,757 --> 00:17:49,792
I'm still hungry, Phil.
487
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,644
Me, too. I'm so delirious,
488
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,721
I thought I saw Dolly
in the mirror a minute ago.
489
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,633
Maybe she was sending us a sign.
490
00:17:57,693 --> 00:18:00,620
She'd want us to eat her.
491
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,255
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
492
00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:13,591
-She's inside of us now.
-Mm-hmm.
493
00:18:13,784 --> 00:18:15,651
She's nourishing us
494
00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:19,155
like she nourished us
our entire lives.
495
00:18:19,215 --> 00:18:21,582
It'll remind us
to be more like Dolly.
496
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,083
To be kinder.
497
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:24,510
To be more generous.
498
00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:25,661
(phone chimes)
499
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:27,772
Oh. It's Jeannie.
500
00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:30,257
Mm. Oh, she says
Dolly's decided to do
501
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,851
a second night at the Opry.
502
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,670
Mm, so we can take our time
getting there.
503
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,614
Spit it out.
504
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:38,783
-Hmm?
-Spit it out right now,
505
00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:40,860
or I'll reach in there
and I'll pull it out.
506
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:41,861
(squeals):
What?
507
00:18:42,013 --> 00:18:43,287
I'm gonna put her back together.
508
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,773
-Mm.
-I will use your saliva
as the glue.
509
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:50,878
-Mm-mm. (mutters)
-Spit it out, Sheila.
510
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,301
-So, you going
for a run tonight?
-I haven't decided.
511
00:18:57,453 --> 00:18:58,785
So, I shouldn't read too much
into the fact
512
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,471
that you drew a heart
in my foam?
513
00:19:00,623 --> 00:19:03,141
(chuckles) It just does that
when you pull the milk away.
514
00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,201
-Mm-hmm.
-(chuckles)
515
00:19:05,261 --> 00:19:06,702
KAT:
Hey.
516
00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:08,371
-Hey. You look good.
-Thanks.
517
00:19:08,431 --> 00:19:09,647
-Yeah.
-RANDI: Ooh!
518
00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:11,374
Kat, you look incredible,
519
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:14,134
-whether you can salsa or not.
-KAT (chuckles): Thanks.
520
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,820
I'm actually feeling
really positive
521
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,546
about my salsa dancing
abilities.
522
00:19:17,607 --> 00:19:19,048
The lesson with Max,
523
00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:20,474
all those videos that I watched,
524
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:21,975
it really sunk into my brain.
525
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,327
Like, I woke up this morning
able to do moves
526
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,070
I couldn't even do yesterday.
Like this.
527
00:19:25,223 --> 00:19:26,889
-RANDI: Ooh.
-(chuckles)
528
00:19:26,949 --> 00:19:28,649
Ooh, and, uh, and this.
529
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,726
Whoo!
(chuckles)
530
00:19:30,786 --> 00:19:33,111
-Oh, hey, Max.
-What the hell did you do?
531
00:19:33,264 --> 00:19:34,839
Oh, I just dipped a cat.
(chuckles)
532
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,490
Brigitte called me
and said some American woman
533
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:39,251
wrote her a long e-mail
about how I'm a mess without her
534
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,828
and I'm gonna go declare my love
for her on the Eiffel Tower,
535
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,256
and if she rejects me,
I'm gonna push her off.
536
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,410
A-And you think I did that?
I didn't do that.
537
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:48,911
Really?
Because the letter was signed,
538
00:19:48,971 --> 00:19:51,430
"Have a meow-tastic day,
Kat Silver."
539
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,418
Well, that does
very specifically narrow down
540
00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:57,862
the suspects, but how would I...
541
00:19:58,013 --> 00:19:59,255
Oh.
542
00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:00,847
I took sleeping pills
last night.
543
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,183
Girl, check your e-mail
sent folder.
544
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,619
-Oh.
-(sighs)
545
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,855
Oh, my gosh. Max, I am so sorry.
546
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,024
Just tell her I was on drugs.
It didn't mean anything.
547
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,877
Well, I-I would,
except she told me
548
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,695
never to contact her again.
549
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,955
Well, do you want me
to e-mail her?
550
00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:17,364
Are you out of your mind?
551
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,776
I want you to stay
out of my business, Kat.
552
00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:23,779
And you know
what really pisses me off?
553
00:20:23,839 --> 00:20:26,482
I tried to help you
with your relationship,
554
00:20:26,509 --> 00:20:28,309
and you blew mine up.
555
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:35,124
-I'm so sorry, Kat.
-(door closes)
556
00:20:35,142 --> 00:20:36,642
I can't believe I did that.
557
00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,978
Well, it's not your fault.
Honestly, it's Phil's.
558
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:40,796
He's the one that gave us
those damn pills
559
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,389
that made him
whip his wiener out on a plane
560
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:43,632
and pee in the aisle.
561
00:20:43,693 --> 00:20:44,984
What?
562
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,911
You didn't tell me
that happened.
563
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:48,562
Well, I just thought
he had an overreaction
564
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,623
because he's itty-bitty.
565
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,750
I feel horrible.
566
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,736
I've never seen Max that upset.
567
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,646
What am I supposed to do?
568
00:20:57,707 --> 00:20:59,740
Hey, hey.
569
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,010
Are you ready
to get our salsa on?
570
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,489
I just need un momento.
571
00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:09,600
("Chipa y Fuego (salsa)" by El
Swing de Nicky Catarey playing)
572
00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:12,019
♪ ♪
573
00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:22,154
♪
574
00:21:31,073 --> 00:21:33,048
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
575
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:35,251
Captioned by
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