1 00:00:03,633 --> 00:00:05,417 Oh, hello. 2 00:00:05,461 --> 00:00:07,158 Nice to see you all. 3 00:00:07,202 --> 00:00:10,118 Some return visitors I see, and some fresh faces. 4 00:00:10,161 --> 00:00:11,815 You know, I was just thinking about 5 00:00:11,858 --> 00:00:14,992 how we put people in boxes and make assumptions about them 6 00:00:15,036 --> 00:00:17,255 based merely on what they do for a living. 7 00:00:17,299 --> 00:00:20,519 You said you owned a cat café, so I drew you living alone. 8 00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,217 Cats are like your babies 9 00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,262 and you eat canned soup for dinner every night. 10 00:00:25,872 --> 00:00:27,309 Not even close. 11 00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:29,398 Spot-on. 12 00:00:29,441 --> 00:00:32,227 My mother's very concerned that because of my job, 13 00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:33,793 I'll be single forever. 14 00:00:33,837 --> 00:00:36,231 She also fancies herself to be a bit of a... 15 00:00:36,274 --> 00:00:38,146 how should I put this? 16 00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:41,627 ♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match♪ 17 00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,629 -♪ Find me a find♪ -Mother, you can't do this... 18 00:00:43,673 --> 00:00:45,588 -♪ Catch me a catch♪ -...in the middle of a cat café. 19 00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:48,939 ♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring the veil♪ 20 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,941 ♪ You bring the groom...♪ 21 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,683 Which is why earlier in the week, this happened. 22 00:00:53,726 --> 00:00:55,380 Katharine, I've found him. 23 00:00:55,424 --> 00:00:57,165 I've found your soul mate. 24 00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:58,775 A gentleman I met at the track. 25 00:00:58,818 --> 00:01:01,995 He seemed very interested in what you do, 26 00:01:02,039 --> 00:01:05,695 and when I showed him a picture of you, he didn't balk. 27 00:01:07,131 --> 00:01:10,656 Okay, as enticing as that is, I am not gonna go on a date 28 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,876 with a random man you met at the horse track. 29 00:01:12,919 --> 00:01:16,575 He's not a random man. He's the track announcer. 30 00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,926 I've always been fascinated by that skill set. 31 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,147 And I'm going on a date with a track announcer 32 00:01:23,191 --> 00:01:25,367 because I said Yes To My Mother, Yes To My Mother, 33 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,456 and taking the lead is Hell Must've Frozen Over. 34 00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:30,720 -[bell dings] -Oh. Soup's done. 35 00:01:30,763 --> 00:01:32,809 ♪ 36 00:01:38,336 --> 00:01:41,034 Daniel, come get your latte before it gets cold. 37 00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:42,384 Thank you. 38 00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:44,951 Mm-hmm. 39 00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:46,736 Whoa, hey, Randi. 40 00:01:46,779 --> 00:01:48,564 Can you use a friendlier tone? 41 00:01:48,607 --> 00:01:52,045 Maybe throw in a "Have a meow-tastic day"? 42 00:01:52,089 --> 00:01:54,178 Which is what I do for every other customer. 43 00:01:54,222 --> 00:01:57,050 But Daniel comes in here every damn day and never tips. 44 00:01:57,094 --> 00:01:59,052 Unless you count that one time the loyalty card 45 00:01:59,096 --> 00:02:00,750 from the yogurt shop fell out of his pocket. 46 00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:03,100 And yes, I did use it to get a free yogurt. 47 00:02:03,144 --> 00:02:05,320 Marty used to overtip just to show off. 48 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:08,192 One time this waiter said he had lost his watch. 49 00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:09,715 Marty gave him a watch. 50 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,369 Well, that sounds very Jesus-like. 51 00:02:11,413 --> 00:02:13,415 It was my watch. 52 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,677 [phone rings] 53 00:02:16,461 --> 00:02:17,593 [gasps] Oh, look. 54 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,377 It's Brandon, the track announcer 55 00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:20,552 my mom set me up with. 56 00:02:20,596 --> 00:02:22,163 He sent me a picture 57 00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,034 so that I will recognize him when we meet. 58 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,907 He is cuter than a calico in a sweater-vest. 59 00:02:27,951 --> 00:02:30,606 Ooh, I'd hit that. 60 00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:32,521 That's something I've heard people say. 61 00:02:32,564 --> 00:02:34,305 I wish I hadn't tried it. 62 00:02:34,349 --> 00:02:36,046 RANDI: Well, I predict 63 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,570 that you and Dimples are gonna have a great time. 64 00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,790 I hope so. I just don't want to get too excited. 65 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:42,270 My mother has a terrible track record 66 00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:44,359 when it comes to making decisions for me. 67 00:02:44,402 --> 00:02:47,362 SHEILA: Guys love girls with curls. 68 00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:53,890 Okay, he says, "Excited to meet you tomorrow. 69 00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:56,458 I'll be there even if I have to come straight from work." 70 00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:58,199 Sweet, flirtatious. 71 00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:04,205 So I'll say, "I'll be there even if I still have diarrhea." 72 00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:07,077 No, I don't have that, 73 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,600 I'm just trying to be flirtatious. 74 00:03:08,644 --> 00:03:10,080 Okay, well, never in the history of flirting 75 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,213 has anyone ever invoked diarrhea. 76 00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:15,259 I'm just impressed you know how to spell it. 77 00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:18,784 I couldn't. 78 00:03:18,828 --> 00:03:20,482 Okay, then, I won't send the diarrhea text. 79 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:23,136 Oh, I just sent the diarrhea text. 80 00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:24,486 Why do they put the send and delete buttons 81 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:26,270 so close to each other? 82 00:03:26,314 --> 00:03:29,926 There's an "H" in there somewhere. 83 00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:33,451 So, what if I texted, 84 00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:35,148 "Maybe you come back to my place after 85 00:03:35,192 --> 00:03:36,585 and pet my new kitten?" 86 00:03:36,628 --> 00:03:38,064 Is that flirting? 87 00:03:38,108 --> 00:03:40,502 I don't know, but it made me blush. 88 00:03:40,545 --> 00:03:42,895 Ooh, you're a project, aren't you? 89 00:03:43,983 --> 00:03:46,203 Piano karaoke night. You're all coming. 90 00:03:46,247 --> 00:03:47,509 Especially you. 91 00:03:47,552 --> 00:03:49,206 You know why. 92 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,034 Me? No? 93 00:03:51,077 --> 00:03:52,209 -Why? -[laughs] 94 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:54,994 There was a piano in our college dorm. 95 00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:56,779 Max and I used to meet there at 4:00 a.m. and play 96 00:03:56,822 --> 00:04:00,043 the loudest version of "Piano Man" you've ever heard. 97 00:04:00,086 --> 00:04:03,264 We woke up the whole dorm. It did not make us popular. 98 00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:05,527 -But it made us happy. -So you're in? 99 00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:08,225 I was in before you even invitedme. 100 00:04:08,269 --> 00:04:09,966 That's how in I'm in. 101 00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:11,837 Great. All right, I'll see you all there. 102 00:04:11,881 --> 00:04:14,362 Uh-oh. Piano karaoke night is the same night 103 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:16,494 you're supposed to be hanging out with racetrack dude. 104 00:04:16,538 --> 00:04:18,496 -No. -Yes. 105 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,063 But I really want to hang out with Max. 106 00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:22,892 He's a guaranteed good time. He gets me. 107 00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:25,329 But doesn't he have a girlfriend in France? 108 00:04:25,373 --> 00:04:27,157 Ex-girlfriend. Brigitte. 109 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,550 But she sounds awful. 110 00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:30,378 Max said she hated all the best American stuff. 111 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:33,076 Ketchup, country music, football. 112 00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:37,254 Why don't we just admit it, this is all homoerotic, no? 113 00:04:40,562 --> 00:04:41,998 Let me check and see if Brandon 114 00:04:42,041 --> 00:04:43,869 even responded to the diarrhea text. 115 00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:47,133 He's probably figuring out a way to cancel on me anyway. 116 00:04:47,177 --> 00:04:50,354 Oh, wow. He says, "L-O-L. See you tomorrow." 117 00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:52,182 Damn it, he gets me, too. 118 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,053 Oh, why don't you just hang out with Max 119 00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,577 for the first half of the night, then go meet up with Brandon 120 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,318 for a drink on the later side? 121 00:04:57,361 --> 00:04:58,710 That's what I would do. 122 00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:01,060 Then that's what I'm gonna do. 123 00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:04,368 39 and killing it on the social scene. 124 00:05:04,412 --> 00:05:06,414 Who would expect that? 125 00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:09,678 Draw me now, bitch. 126 00:05:16,293 --> 00:05:17,468 I'm kind of excited. 127 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:18,904 The evening feels so full of possibility. 128 00:05:18,948 --> 00:05:20,732 Yeah, it is. Two guys, one night, 129 00:05:20,776 --> 00:05:22,560 so you need to look double cute. 130 00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:25,520 Damn, girl. You've been robbed. 131 00:05:25,563 --> 00:05:27,435 [chuckles] No. 132 00:05:27,478 --> 00:05:29,350 That's my capsule wardrobe. 133 00:05:29,393 --> 00:05:32,657 15 items of clothing that can be worn 47 different ways. 134 00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:34,790 I needed to save money when I opened the café. 135 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,488 Yeah. And the number one thing men are attracted to 136 00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:39,447 in a woman is thriftiness. 137 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,100 Well, in that case, Daniel "No Tipper" 138 00:05:41,144 --> 00:05:43,842 would be super turned on by my closet right now. 139 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,410 I would not wish that guy on my worst enemy. 140 00:05:46,454 --> 00:05:47,933 Actually, I would. 141 00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:50,283 Maybe I should set him up with Sienna. 142 00:05:50,327 --> 00:05:53,635 This seems like the perfect night for my green pantsuit. 143 00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:56,289 What-- Didn't Max just see you in that at Tara's wedding? 144 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,422 Yes, but-- Fine. 145 00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:00,685 I'll wear my favorite leggings. 146 00:06:00,729 --> 00:06:02,687 Now I know I am not about to watch you 147 00:06:02,731 --> 00:06:04,646 put on a pair of leggings you just pulled 148 00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:06,430 out of the dirty laundry hamper, am I? 149 00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:07,736 Oh, come on, you've done it. 150 00:06:07,779 --> 00:06:09,999 And you've done it. We've all done it. 151 00:06:10,042 --> 00:06:11,653 You do you, but just so you know, 152 00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:13,219 there's a sock stuck to the butt. 153 00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:14,612 [laughs]: Oh. 154 00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:16,788 Well, that would've been awkward. 155 00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:19,356 All right, you know how it works. 156 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,792 Sign up for a spot, and when it's your turn, 157 00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:22,664 you come on up and show us what you got. 158 00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:23,839 Now, this is a safe space. 159 00:06:23,882 --> 00:06:25,580 But if you suck, I'm gonna ring this bell, 160 00:06:25,623 --> 00:06:27,059 and you better back away from the piano 161 00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:28,800 and get your ass off the stage. 162 00:06:28,844 --> 00:06:30,628 All right, let's give a warm welcome 163 00:06:30,672 --> 00:06:32,761 to the Whitworth sisters and Little Andy. 164 00:06:32,804 --> 00:06:34,850 [cheering, applause] 165 00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:37,418 Can you have a dog in a bar? 166 00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:39,071 Can you have a cat in a café? 167 00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,508 Touché. 168 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,814 So, I signed us up for the end. 169 00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:44,816 I feel confident we can really bring it home. 170 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:47,123 I'm supposed to meet someone for a drink later. 171 00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:48,864 Do you think you could move us up to the middle? 172 00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:50,996 Oh, sure. Who you meeting? 173 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,868 Just got a date with a track announcer. 174 00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:55,697 No way. You love that skill set. 175 00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:57,133 Are you sensing a little jealousy? 176 00:06:57,176 --> 00:06:59,222 'Cause I'm sensing a little jealousy. 177 00:07:00,049 --> 00:07:03,487 By the way, I made us a set list. 178 00:07:03,531 --> 00:07:06,664 Why did you make a set list without consulting your partner? 179 00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,405 Because I knew my partner would like my set list. 180 00:07:08,449 --> 00:07:09,754 It's our old standbys. 181 00:07:09,798 --> 00:07:11,930 But maybe your partner made her own set list. 182 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,628 So even though my partner was invited by me, 183 00:07:13,671 --> 00:07:16,587 -she thinks she's in charge? -Are we having our first fight? 184 00:07:16,631 --> 00:07:18,633 Our first fight was pizza versus Indian food. 185 00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:20,417 We couldn't have made it to the pizza place 186 00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:22,071 -before they closed. -If you'd have made a left 187 00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,725 instead of a right, we could have. 188 00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:24,682 It was a one-way street. 189 00:07:24,726 --> 00:07:26,205 Not that section of it. 190 00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:29,861 -One more? -You know, why not? 191 00:07:29,905 --> 00:07:31,820 Marty used to cut me off after one 192 00:07:31,863 --> 00:07:34,649 because too much alcohol gives me night sweats. 193 00:07:34,692 --> 00:07:37,390 But he's not around to get wet anymore. 194 00:07:37,434 --> 00:07:40,002 I'm sorry to hear that. When did you guys break up? 195 00:07:40,045 --> 00:07:42,613 -Four months ago. -I feel you man. 196 00:07:42,657 --> 00:07:44,746 I just got my divorce papers Thursday. 197 00:07:44,789 --> 00:07:46,051 Hit me like a ton of bricks. 198 00:07:46,095 --> 00:07:47,749 -Mm, bless your heart. -Yeah. 199 00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:49,402 She was always like, "You're never around. 200 00:07:49,446 --> 00:07:51,753 You're out at that bar every night." 201 00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:53,102 Because I own a bar. 202 00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:56,497 You knew that when you met me in the bar. 203 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,846 Marty was the opposite. 204 00:07:57,889 --> 00:07:59,543 He used to say, "You don't want to go anywhere." 205 00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:02,546 But I like being home and tending to my garden. 206 00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:05,462 And I cannot be away from my sourdough starter 207 00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:07,551 for longer than 12 hours. 208 00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:08,857 You got to feed the beast. 209 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,599 You got to feed the beast. 210 00:08:11,642 --> 00:08:14,123 -Thank you. -Thank you. 211 00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:16,517 Hey, hey, I know that guy. Did he tip you, Carter? 212 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,605 Aw, come on, man. 213 00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:19,084 Uh, excuse me. 214 00:08:19,128 --> 00:08:21,391 I thought it was just me you didn't tip. 215 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,349 I thought it was some weird little dance that we were doing. 216 00:08:23,393 --> 00:08:24,568 But when you don't tip my friends, 217 00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:26,004 I require an explanation. 218 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,050 It's not illegal not to tip. 219 00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:30,008 It's also not illegal to leave your shopping cart 220 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,750 in the parking lot, but that really fires me up, too. 221 00:08:32,794 --> 00:08:34,709 Hmm. You're a passionate person. 222 00:08:34,752 --> 00:08:37,494 Mm-hmm. And you're a fancy lawyer. 223 00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:39,801 I know that 'cause I got your name from your credit card 224 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,280 and looked your ass up. 225 00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:43,413 So you're one of those well-off cheapskates, huh? 226 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,068 I have a reason for not tipping. Want to hear it? 227 00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:47,069 Was it because your mommy's from Europe 228 00:08:47,112 --> 00:08:48,636 and they don't tip there? 229 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,768 Because tipping fosters sexual harassment, 230 00:08:50,812 --> 00:08:52,857 reflects and amplifies racial discrimination 231 00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:55,033 and allows businesses to off-load the burden 232 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,340 of paying workers a fair wage. 233 00:08:57,383 --> 00:09:00,038 Well, do you know what else tipping fosters? 234 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,432 My beautiful foam art that you will never see, 235 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,434 which includes two cats holding a heart 236 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,697 and a grandpa cat sitting in front of a rainbow. 237 00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:09,918 And you know he's a grandpa because he's smoking a pipe. 238 00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:12,181 Huh. So, that's why it takes forever to get a coffee. 239 00:09:12,224 --> 00:09:14,923 Well, if you want fast coffee, make it at home. 240 00:09:14,966 --> 00:09:17,926 Well, what's the fun in that? 241 00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:23,584 Honey, is it just me, or do you need a cigarette? 242 00:09:24,846 --> 00:09:26,325 -[cheering] -Yeah! Good job. 243 00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:28,850 We'll have to bring you back. All right. 244 00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,286 You might recognize this next guy. 245 00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,635 All right, he's our bartender. 246 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,071 And just because he's my good friend 247 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,638 doesn't mean I won't ring this bell 248 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:36,509 and throw his ass off the stage. 249 00:09:36,553 --> 00:09:37,641 All right? Let's welcome 250 00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:39,687 Kat Silver and Max Kingbird, 251 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:41,819 aka Silver Bird! 252 00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:43,560 -All right. -[cheering] 253 00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:45,606 How you all doing tonight? 254 00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:47,042 [whooping] 255 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:48,957 -You know... -[playing piano] 256 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,613 Max and I went to college together at U of L. 257 00:09:52,656 --> 00:09:54,353 Go, Cards! 258 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:57,226 Max and I are just reconnecting after, 259 00:09:57,269 --> 00:09:59,489 oh, about ten years apart. He was working overseas. 260 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,100 Max, of all the places you traveled to, 261 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,015 what would you say is your favorite? 262 00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:05,669 I would have to say Paris. 263 00:10:05,713 --> 00:10:08,672 Beautiful people, flaky croissants, 264 00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:10,239 and the language is so beautiful, 265 00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,937 you hardly notice the cigarette breath. 266 00:10:14,591 --> 00:10:17,420 I wonder what time it is in Paris right now. 267 00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:18,726 Well, that depends. 268 00:10:18,769 --> 00:10:20,118 What time is it here? 269 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:25,167 ♪ It's 9:00 on a Saturday♪ 270 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,777 ♪ Regular crowd♪ 271 00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:28,344 ♪ Shuffles in♪ 272 00:10:28,387 --> 00:10:30,825 ♪ There's an old man♪ 273 00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:32,696 ♪ Sitting next to me♪ That's you, sir. 274 00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,351 ♪ Making love to his tonic and gin♪ 275 00:10:35,394 --> 00:10:39,747 ♪ He says, son, can you play me a memory?♪ 276 00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:43,315 ♪ I'm not really sure how it goes♪ 277 00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:45,709 ♪ But it's sad, and it's sweet♪ 278 00:10:45,753 --> 00:10:47,668 ♪ And I knew it complete♪ 279 00:10:47,711 --> 00:10:50,801 ♪ When I wore a younger man's clothes♪ 280 00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:54,892 ♪ Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da.♪ 281 00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:58,853 ♪ Reunited and it feels so good♪ 282 00:10:58,896 --> 00:11:00,724 It really does, Kat. 283 00:11:00,768 --> 00:11:04,728 ♪ Reunited, 'cause we understood♪ 284 00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:05,816 Yeah, we did. 285 00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:07,470 ♪ There's one perfect fit♪ 286 00:11:07,513 --> 00:11:11,126 ♪ And, sugar, this one is it♪ 287 00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:14,346 ♪ We both are so excited 'cause we're♪ 288 00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:17,698 ♪ Reunited, hey, hey...♪ 289 00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:19,961 -♪ Gloria♪ -♪ Gloria♪ 290 00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,745 ♪ I think they got your number♪ 291 00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:23,181 ♪ Gloria♪ 292 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:24,661 ♪ I think they got the alias♪ 293 00:11:24,705 --> 00:11:26,097 ♪ Alias♪ 294 00:11:26,141 --> 00:11:27,229 ♪ That you've been living under♪ 295 00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:28,796 ♪ Gloria♪ 296 00:11:28,839 --> 00:11:30,754 ♪ But you really don't remember♪ 297 00:11:30,798 --> 00:11:33,757 ♪ Was it something that they said?♪ 298 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:37,326 ♪ Are the voices in your head♪ 299 00:11:37,369 --> 00:11:40,024 ♪ Calling, Gloria?♪ 300 00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:42,026 -[song ends] -[cheering, applause] 301 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,377 [barking] 302 00:11:51,949 --> 00:11:54,517 [whooping, laughing] 303 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,128 [laughs]: Okay, first of all, that was hot. 304 00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:59,174 You two really undersold yourselves. 305 00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,480 And then second of all, it's time for you to go. 306 00:12:01,524 --> 00:12:03,700 -No. Really? -Yeah. If you leave now, 307 00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:05,484 you'll be fashionably late to meet Brandon. 308 00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:06,964 Oh, I'm not going. 309 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,967 I'm not going. 310 00:12:10,011 --> 00:12:11,839 So, wait. You're just gonna stand Brandon up 311 00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:13,405 after you told me I had to be nice 312 00:12:13,449 --> 00:12:15,407 to everybody, including Daniel? 313 00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:17,845 Oh. Which, by the way, turned into a whole other thing, girl. 314 00:12:17,888 --> 00:12:20,021 I'll tell you about that later. 315 00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,631 Look, you saw us up there. 316 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,460 Maybe there's some reason that Max broke up with Brigitte 317 00:12:24,503 --> 00:12:26,810 and ended up working next door to me. 318 00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,203 Maybe he's the first person 319 00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:29,987 who had to leaveParis to find love. 320 00:12:30,031 --> 00:12:31,467 I have to play this out. 321 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:32,729 So what are you gonna tell Brandon? 322 00:12:32,773 --> 00:12:34,035 I don't know. 323 00:12:34,078 --> 00:12:36,341 That my diarrhea got real bad. 324 00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:38,779 Okay, well, you know in order to be the kind of girl 325 00:12:38,822 --> 00:12:40,606 who goes out on two dates in one night, 326 00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,826 you actually have to go on both dates. 327 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:44,523 But your call. 328 00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:45,916 Wingwoman out. 329 00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:48,963 RANDI: Hey, guys. 330 00:12:49,964 --> 00:12:51,879 Don't judge me. 331 00:12:51,922 --> 00:12:54,098 I mean, you saw what I felt. 332 00:12:54,142 --> 00:12:56,666 We "Gloria'd" in unison. 333 00:12:57,928 --> 00:12:59,756 That was fun. 334 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,888 So fun. 335 00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:02,759 So, you're really into France, huh? 336 00:13:02,803 --> 00:13:03,934 We should go there someday. 337 00:13:03,978 --> 00:13:06,067 Maybe get on the French cabaret circuit? 338 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:06,981 Oh, I would love that. 339 00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:08,809 I do need to get back there. 340 00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:10,419 See Brigitte. 341 00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:13,726 Oh? I thought you broke up with her. 342 00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,119 No. 343 00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:17,861 She broke up with me. 344 00:13:17,905 --> 00:13:20,342 But I'm gonna get her back. 345 00:13:21,082 --> 00:13:22,823 Really? 346 00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:25,434 Well, I know you can do anything 347 00:13:25,477 --> 00:13:27,044 -you set your mind to. -Hmm. 348 00:13:27,088 --> 00:13:28,959 Remember when you won those two giant pandas 349 00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:31,614 at the "water in the clown's mouth" game at Kentucky Kingdom? 350 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:34,051 I mean, I've seen people win one giant animal, 351 00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,010 but you won two. 352 00:13:36,053 --> 00:13:37,663 [laughs]: I forgot about that. 353 00:13:37,707 --> 00:13:39,143 I didn't. 354 00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:41,102 Wow, total misread. 355 00:13:41,145 --> 00:13:43,800 I have to get out of here. 356 00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:46,194 So... I got to go. 357 00:13:46,237 --> 00:13:48,936 Oh, right. 'Cause you got your drinks thing. 358 00:13:48,979 --> 00:13:52,113 Yeah. Yeah, that's it. [chuckles] 359 00:13:52,156 --> 00:13:53,636 I'll see ya. 360 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,377 Hey, Kat? 361 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,508 Yeah? 362 00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,467 There's something around your ankle. 363 00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:01,122 [gasps] No way! 364 00:14:01,165 --> 00:14:03,864 This is so much worse than a sock. 365 00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:06,257 Oh, Andy, oh... 366 00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:08,216 Andy. No. Andy. 367 00:14:08,259 --> 00:14:09,739 Andy, I got to go. 368 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,001 Heel! Heel! Andy! 369 00:14:11,045 --> 00:14:12,220 Little Andy, release the panties! 370 00:14:12,263 --> 00:14:13,264 Release the panties! 371 00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:14,962 Stop staying "panties"! 372 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:22,404 [toilet flushing] 373 00:14:25,711 --> 00:14:27,148 How you doing? 374 00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,977 Well, ironically, I seem to have given myself diarrhea. 375 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,457 Oh, that reminds me. 376 00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:34,546 Carter found your drawers underneath a table, 377 00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:36,026 and he dropped them off for you. 378 00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:38,637 Wow. He even put them in a plastic bag 379 00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:40,161 like they're evidence. 380 00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:43,947 That would never happen to me. 381 00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:46,907 Let me guess: because you don't wear underwear? 382 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:52,042 No. Because my buttocks holds my thong so securely in place. 383 00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:54,088 Brigitte, I can't with you right now. 384 00:14:54,131 --> 00:14:56,829 I can't with youright now. 385 00:14:56,873 --> 00:14:58,701 Listen, you entertained 386 00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:00,964 a lot of people in a lot of different ways last night. 387 00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:03,010 I don't think you should feel bad. 388 00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:04,446 Oh, I don't feel bad. 389 00:15:04,489 --> 00:15:05,969 I feel exhausted. 390 00:15:06,013 --> 00:15:08,015 Dating takes so much effort and energy. 391 00:15:08,058 --> 00:15:11,018 And I didn't even go on a date. 392 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,368 Well, let me ask you something. 393 00:15:13,411 --> 00:15:15,805 When's the last time you had a boyfriend? 394 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,285 Serious boyfriend? 395 00:15:17,328 --> 00:15:19,026 It's been a minute. 396 00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:21,942 I dated a guy named Walter for four years. 397 00:15:21,985 --> 00:15:23,595 He was a teacher. 398 00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:25,162 Good one. Chemistry. 399 00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:27,512 Then he had all these medical bills, 400 00:15:27,556 --> 00:15:29,123 and he needed more money, 401 00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:31,777 so he started using his skills to make meth. 402 00:15:31,821 --> 00:15:34,955 No, uh-uh, that's Breaking Bad. 403 00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:37,958 It did break bad. 404 00:15:38,697 --> 00:15:40,003 Fine. 405 00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:43,180 My longest relationship lasted three months. 406 00:15:43,224 --> 00:15:45,400 They just sort of peter out. 407 00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:49,012 Which is funny, because that's exactly what my ex, Peter, said 408 00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,796 when we broke up. 409 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,190 But he said it like, "Peter out." 410 00:15:54,191 --> 00:15:57,064 Well, you know dating is just dating until you get married. 411 00:15:57,107 --> 00:15:58,587 It's not supposed to last. 412 00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,764 I know. But I had a date with a nice, dimple-y guy, 413 00:16:01,807 --> 00:16:04,027 and then I was so sure that something was happening 414 00:16:04,071 --> 00:16:06,682 with me and Max when apparently nothing was happening 415 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:08,814 with me and Max. 416 00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:10,164 Can I tell you something? 417 00:16:10,207 --> 00:16:12,862 You make running a business look easy. 418 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,777 I wouldn't know what the hell to do. 419 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,779 Dating is hard for some people. 420 00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:18,955 Don't beat yourself up. 421 00:16:19,695 --> 00:16:21,262 Thank you, Randi. 422 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:24,265 Plus, you don't have to give up on Dimples. 423 00:16:24,308 --> 00:16:25,788 You think he'd still go out with me 424 00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:28,573 after I so rudely blew him off at the last minute? 425 00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:32,142 Us dating professionals call that playing hard to get. 426 00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:36,886 I've always wanted to play hard to get. 427 00:16:38,235 --> 00:16:39,802 Hey, hey. What's up, little man? 428 00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:43,545 -We still on for tonight? -Yeah. We gonna drink some beer 429 00:16:43,588 --> 00:16:45,721 and watch some sports-ball? 430 00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:48,115 I thought you said you were gonna teach me and Carter Jr. 431 00:16:48,158 --> 00:16:49,899 how to make cinnamon rolls. 432 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,206 Oh, thank God. I couldn't remember what we settled on. 433 00:16:52,249 --> 00:16:54,556 Those two beers had me sweating so bad, 434 00:16:54,599 --> 00:16:56,645 I fell asleep on the kitchen floor 435 00:16:56,688 --> 00:16:58,386 with the refrigerator door open. 436 00:16:58,429 --> 00:17:01,258 I used a bag of frozen corn as a pillow. 437 00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:04,218 Hey, all right, well, I'll pick you up at 6:00. 438 00:17:04,261 --> 00:17:06,046 Okay. 439 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,353 Oh, hello. 440 00:17:09,397 --> 00:17:12,139 Well, my boss says I have to be nice to you, so: 441 00:17:12,182 --> 00:17:14,315 -Welcome to Kat's Cat Café. -[chuckles] 442 00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:17,187 How can we make your day purr-fect? 443 00:17:17,231 --> 00:17:19,972 [chuckles] I'll have my regular, please. 444 00:17:20,016 --> 00:17:23,280 Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry, remembering customers' orders 445 00:17:23,324 --> 00:17:25,369 is another perk of tipping. 446 00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:28,111 -Soy vanilla latte. -Mm. 447 00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:31,201 And I brought you... this. 448 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,204 Film? 449 00:17:34,248 --> 00:17:35,771 Yeah. Looked you up, too. You're a photographer. 450 00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:37,120 I like your stuff. 451 00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:39,949 I'm pretty sure that's the kind of film you use. 452 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,256 So is this my tip? 453 00:17:42,299 --> 00:17:43,648 No. No. 454 00:17:43,692 --> 00:17:45,737 It's, um... it's a gift. 455 00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:47,217 So you're still not tipping? 456 00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:49,306 Mm-mm. No, sticking to my guns on that one. 457 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:51,178 They actually had a tip jar at the camera store. 458 00:17:51,221 --> 00:17:52,962 I didn't tip there, either. 459 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,616 Wait, a tip jar at a camera store? 460 00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:56,270 Okay, now, that is bananas. 461 00:17:56,313 --> 00:17:59,186 [mock gasp] So we agree on something. 462 00:17:59,229 --> 00:18:02,058 -That'll be $3.45. -[chuckles] 463 00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:07,281 And not a penny more. 464 00:18:09,848 --> 00:18:12,329 Whoa, he is a piece of work. 465 00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:14,679 So are you gonna go out with him? 466 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,160 Maybe. 467 00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,467 Will you drop my number at his table? 468 00:18:21,991 --> 00:18:23,949 Are you Brandon? 469 00:18:23,993 --> 00:18:25,777 -I am. -I'm Kat. 470 00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:26,996 Oh, Kat. 471 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,476 Yeah. Yeah. I just... 472 00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:31,000 I feel terrible about blowing you off last night. 473 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,480 It's just not who I am. 474 00:18:32,523 --> 00:18:36,179 So, um, I brought you some pastries from my café 475 00:18:36,223 --> 00:18:38,355 -by way of apology. -Oh. 476 00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:39,661 Thank you. 477 00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:40,966 How's the tummy? 478 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:42,707 Right as rain. 479 00:18:42,751 --> 00:18:45,536 It's still a little bubbly. 480 00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:49,801 Look, maybe you would consider giving us a second chance 481 00:18:49,845 --> 00:18:51,412 to, like, go out on the town, 482 00:18:51,455 --> 00:18:54,502 let our hair down, maybe kick off our heels... 483 00:18:54,545 --> 00:18:55,590 Oh! 484 00:18:57,157 --> 00:18:58,201 -You okay? -Yeah. 485 00:18:58,245 --> 00:18:59,463 [clicks tongue, chuckles] 486 00:18:59,507 --> 00:19:01,248 There must be some misunderstanding. 487 00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:03,989 When I asked your mother if you'd be open to meeting up, 488 00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:05,339 it wasn't for a date. 489 00:19:05,382 --> 00:19:06,775 Oh... 490 00:19:06,818 --> 00:19:09,212 Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. 491 00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:11,083 [chuckles]: Yeah. Ooh. 492 00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:12,911 Uh, what was it for? 493 00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:15,175 It was to get your advice on starting a business. 494 00:19:15,218 --> 00:19:16,828 See, my real dream is to open a cigar bar. 495 00:19:16,872 --> 00:19:20,136 Call it something like Butts on Fire, maybe Nice Ash. 496 00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:24,358 I'm sorry for the confusion. I'm married. 497 00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:27,317 Oh. Ho-ho, so you are. 498 00:19:27,361 --> 00:19:29,363 Oh, and your kids have dimples, too. 499 00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:31,234 That is a dominant gene, you know. [chuckles] 500 00:19:31,278 --> 00:19:34,237 Dimple, dimple, dimple. Oh. 501 00:19:34,281 --> 00:19:37,371 -[shatters] -Oh, sorry! That is broken, yeah. 502 00:19:37,414 --> 00:19:38,589 Um, I... 503 00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:41,288 I'll send you a new frame. [chuckles] 504 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,160 Hey, Bran, you ready for lunch? 505 00:19:44,204 --> 00:19:46,118 Oh. Yeah. Are you okay? 506 00:19:46,162 --> 00:19:48,643 Absolutely. Yeah. Enjoy your lunch. 507 00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:49,992 After you. 508 00:19:50,035 --> 00:19:52,299 No. After you. 509 00:19:56,781 --> 00:20:00,089 There are times in your life when you think: 510 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,830 what did it all mean? 511 00:20:01,873 --> 00:20:04,049 You know, what was the lesson? 512 00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:06,138 I bet on two different guys 513 00:20:06,182 --> 00:20:09,185 only to discover that I didn't have much of a chance 514 00:20:09,229 --> 00:20:10,839 with either one of them. 515 00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:12,928 But I say it was worth it. 516 00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:14,321 It was all worth it. 517 00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,453 'Cause it led me here. 518 00:20:17,454 --> 00:20:19,326 [sighs] 519 00:20:20,327 --> 00:20:23,112 Lemons, meet lemonade. 520 00:20:29,553 --> 00:20:31,076 And they're off! 521 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,253 And taking the lead, it's Don't Get Set Up by Your Mama. 522 00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:35,516 Coming up quickly in second is A Friend's a Friend Forever, 523 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,257 followed by ♪ Gloria!♪ 524 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,476 Gaining on the pack is Stay Positive, 525 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,522 but Sweet Lemonade is coming up fast! 526 00:20:41,565 --> 00:20:45,569 Oh, it's Sweet Lemonade for the win! Whoo! 527 00:20:49,356 --> 00:20:50,792 Oh, my God, Katharine, it turns out 528 00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:54,012 -Brandon is married. -Married. I know it, Mother. 529 00:20:54,056 --> 00:20:56,363 But not to worry, because I found another prospect. 530 00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:58,190 I am never going out with someone 531 00:20:58,234 --> 00:20:59,844 you set me up with again. 532 00:20:59,888 --> 00:21:01,281 He drives a Zamboni. 533 00:21:01,324 --> 00:21:03,283 I am fascinated by that skill set. 534 00:21:03,326 --> 00:21:06,895 -I know you are. -Let me see a picture. 535 00:21:06,938 --> 00:21:09,245 ♪ 536 00:21:25,609 --> 00:21:28,351 Let me see that picture again. 537 00:21:28,395 --> 00:21:30,484 -So he is actually a Zamboni... -He's got a mustache. 538 00:21:30,527 --> 00:21:32,050 -Is that a problem? -How do you spell "Zamboni"? 539 00:21:32,094 --> 00:21:33,095 [overlapping chatter]