1
00:00:02,632 --> 00:00:04,112
Hi.

2
00:00:04,155 --> 00:00:05,983
I've really enjoyed
our intimate talks.

3
00:00:06,027 --> 00:00:08,986
So I thought you wouldn't mind
joining me here.

4
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:11,336
That's Dr. Marshall.

5
00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:12,859
She's my new gyno.

6
00:00:12,903 --> 00:00:14,557
But I like to call her
my "gy-yes."

7
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,733
Because she is so positive.

8
00:00:16,776 --> 00:00:18,169
So, how are you?

9
00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:20,215
Physically?
Well, I could tell you,

10
00:00:20,258 --> 00:00:21,912
but you went to school for this.

11
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,132
No, I mean
how are you generally?

12
00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:25,829
I just like to get
to know my patients

13
00:00:25,872 --> 00:00:27,657
before I glove up and clock in.

14
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,833
[chuckles]
Oh, uh, well, in that case,

15
00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:32,836
I'm pretty good-- I own
the cat café in the Highlands.

16
00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:34,794
Uh, I said goodbye
to Mr. Mousekers this morning,

17
00:00:34,838 --> 00:00:37,014
and I swear he responded
with a meow that sounded like,

18
00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:39,016
[high-pitched voice]:
"I love you."

19
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,366
Uh, and you're 39?

20
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:43,020
Well, I've started
telling people I'm 42,

21
00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:44,587
so they'll tell me
how good I look.

22
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,110
You look good for 39.

23
00:00:46,154 --> 00:00:48,069
-Well, thank you.
-Single?

24
00:00:48,112 --> 00:00:49,505
Let's see how this goes.

25
00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:51,768
-And kids?
-Not yet.

26
00:00:51,811 --> 00:00:53,030
Oh, have you frozen your eggs?

27
00:00:53,074 --> 00:00:54,075
Uh, no.

28
00:00:54,118 --> 00:00:55,163
Want to?

29
00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:56,860
Uh...

30
00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:59,123
well...

31
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:01,038
I'm only asking
because as we age,

32
00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:02,866
our egg reserve decreases

33
00:01:02,909 --> 00:01:04,433
and then there's perimenopause
right around the corner

34
00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:05,869
in your 40s.

35
00:01:05,912 --> 00:01:08,045
I'm getting a little dry
in the mouth.

36
00:01:08,089 --> 00:01:09,655
I know it's a lot,
but if you're thinking

37
00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:11,483
you might want to have kids
at some point,

38
00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:13,137
freezing your eggs is something
you'll want to do now.

39
00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:14,399
Now?

40
00:01:15,313 --> 00:01:17,141
Like nownow?

41
00:01:17,185 --> 00:01:19,056
Now?

42
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,102
♪

43
00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:27,108
[indistinct chatter]

44
00:01:28,109 --> 00:01:29,588
Wow, so you're gonna freeze
your eggs?

45
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:30,850
Maybe.

46
00:01:30,894 --> 00:01:32,591
Dr. Marshall ran some tests

47
00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:34,767
to see if I even have any eggs
to freeze at my age.

48
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:37,292
Uh, I'd be optimistic.

49
00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:38,989
You're pretty immature.

50
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,904
Well, sure, on the outside.

51
00:01:40,947 --> 00:01:42,732
You know, but on the inside,
maybe I'm like that,

52
00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:44,429
that one banana
that's so far gone,

53
00:01:44,473 --> 00:01:46,039
you can't even use it
in banana bread.

54
00:01:46,083 --> 00:01:47,432
Yeah, that's
why you're supposed to freeze

55
00:01:47,476 --> 00:01:49,521
your bananas
before they go that bad.

56
00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:51,306
Do you want kids?

57
00:01:51,349 --> 00:01:53,656
Well, I hated being
an only child.

58
00:01:53,699 --> 00:01:56,354
And I always imagined I'd have
a bunch of kids one day.

59
00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:57,921
You know, they-they'd
all be musical

60
00:01:57,964 --> 00:01:59,749
and-and start a band.

61
00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,316
And I'd be, like, the mom-ager,

62
00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:02,665
who made sure
they weren't oversexualized

63
00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:04,232
at too young an age.

64
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:05,972
I had a fantasy as a kid, too.

65
00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:07,191
I killed
all my brothers and sisters

66
00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:08,801
so I could have my own room.

67
00:02:08,845 --> 00:02:10,412
[laughs] Well,
when my friends started having

68
00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,065
their first babies,
I was in grad school.

69
00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:13,937
And when they had
their second babies,

70
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,634
I was trying to get tenure.

71
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:16,809
And then when their babies
started having babies,

72
00:02:16,853 --> 00:02:18,376
I was giving birth to this café.

73
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,857
And your post-café bod
looks great, by the way.

74
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,164
Thank you, you're pretty
smoking yourself.

75
00:02:23,207 --> 00:02:24,469
So I've been told.

76
00:02:24,513 --> 00:02:26,384
Kat?

77
00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,604
I overheard your conversation
and I just want you to know

78
00:02:28,647 --> 00:02:30,301
that if you need any help,

79
00:02:30,345 --> 00:02:31,955
I'’ll do it.

80
00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:34,610
Do what, Wyatt?

81
00:02:34,653 --> 00:02:36,786
Sire your children.

82
00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:40,224
Yeah, no-no siring needed here.

83
00:02:40,268 --> 00:02:41,443
Thanks so much.

84
00:02:41,486 --> 00:02:43,053
Okay, but I think I'’ve got

85
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,576
what you'’re looking for.

86
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,188
Virility, masculinity

87
00:02:47,231 --> 00:02:49,146
and a strong hairline
that'’s been

88
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:51,192
passed down for generations.

89
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,804
I'll give it some thought.

90
00:02:54,847 --> 00:02:56,632
And just so you know, I'’m cool

91
00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:58,982
with however you want
to be inseminated.

92
00:03:00,549 --> 00:03:02,072
All right, little man,

93
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,813
you download the app
I told you about?

94
00:03:03,856 --> 00:03:05,336
I did, but I'm so anxious,
I'm sweating

95
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,817
through
my Dolly Parton long johns.

96
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:09,427
Oh, is it that neighborhood app?

97
00:03:09,471 --> 00:03:11,473
Oh, that stresses me out, too.

98
00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:14,824
Is it a million raccoons or are
we all seeing the same raccoon?

99
00:03:14,867 --> 00:03:17,957
No, I'm helping Phil put
all his bills on autopay.

100
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,264
This bitch is going digital!

101
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,659
All right, Phil,

102
00:03:23,702 --> 00:03:25,574
you press here, you'll see all
your charges from last month.

103
00:03:25,617 --> 00:03:29,012
Damn, Phil, $3,500
on hearing aids?!

104
00:03:29,055 --> 00:03:30,579
Can't you just be,
like, old-fashioned

105
00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:32,407
and hold up a funnel
to your ear?

106
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,365
Well, I didn't buy 'em for me.
I bought 'em for Henry.

107
00:03:34,409 --> 00:03:36,106
Who'’s Henry?

108
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,500
He's a gentleman
I met on Silver Shepherds.

109
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:42,373
It's a dating app
for gay Christian seniors.

110
00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:44,332
Aw, good for you, Phil.

111
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,072
It warms my heart
to know you're out there

112
00:03:46,116 --> 00:03:47,987
rustling up
some hot shepherd tail.

113
00:03:48,031 --> 00:03:50,381
Well, we haven'’t actually
met in person.

114
00:03:50,425 --> 00:03:52,078
We just chat on the phone.

115
00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:53,645
Oh, so just a little phone sex?

116
00:03:53,689 --> 00:03:56,344
You better walk
that dirty mind back.

117
00:03:57,432 --> 00:03:59,303
Maybe a little.

118
00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:01,131
Phil!

119
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,133
You do not give thousands
of dollars to a guy

120
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,613
you've only talked to
on the phone.

121
00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,223
You could be getting catfished.

122
00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:08,747
Well, that can't be bad--
that's my favorite fish.

123
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:11,620
No, man, "catfished" is
when a con artist pretends

124
00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:13,709
to be somebody else
to take advantage

125
00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:15,624
of a nice,
innocent person like you.

126
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:16,755
Carter's right.
He might've sold

127
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,148
those hearing aids for cash.

128
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,671
Henry wouldn't do that.

129
00:04:19,715 --> 00:04:21,586
See, that's what I'm saying.

130
00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:23,588
Henry might not be Henry.

131
00:04:23,632 --> 00:04:26,330
He could be a 25-year-old gamer
living in his mama's basement.

132
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:29,420
Oh, it's a shame to lose
your hearing that young.

133
00:04:31,944 --> 00:04:33,990
-Bye.
-Bye-bye. Randi?

134
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:37,123
Randi, Randi, Randi,
that woman wants to adopt Nelly.

135
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:39,212
Really? Nelly's been here
since we opened.

136
00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:40,692
I thought she was a lifer.

137
00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:42,564
Oh, not me. I always knew

138
00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:44,348
someone would see
how special she is.

139
00:04:44,392 --> 00:04:46,350
I write "Nelly gets adopted"
and put it

140
00:04:46,394 --> 00:04:48,134
in my wish jar every night.

141
00:04:48,178 --> 00:04:50,180
Okay, but did you tell them
that she's blind

142
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,747
in one eye
and she walks into walls?

143
00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:53,836
I did.

144
00:04:55,011 --> 00:04:56,534
Hey, Kat.

145
00:04:56,578 --> 00:04:59,015
-Hey.
-Do you want these in the back?

146
00:04:59,058 --> 00:05:01,409
Um, no, Steve, that's okay, you
can just leave them right here.

147
00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:03,411
You know, uh, I was just
reading on Reddit

148
00:05:03,454 --> 00:05:06,414
how coffee beans can
be toxic to cats.

149
00:05:06,457 --> 00:05:09,591
[chuckles] Yes, Steve, I opened
a cat café, so I knew that.

150
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,332
Did you also know
that I've been wanting

151
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:13,116
to ask you out on a date
for a while?

152
00:05:13,159 --> 00:05:14,726
I mean, that's actually
why I have a coffee safe--

153
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,598
so I can keep the beans
away from the cats.

154
00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:19,035
Did you not hear him, Grandma?

155
00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:20,602
He just asked you out.

156
00:05:20,645 --> 00:05:22,865
-What happened now?
-Uh...

157
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,258
maybe like dinner
this weekend or something?

158
00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:28,436
Did you know that the word
dinner comes from the old French

159
00:05:28,479 --> 00:05:30,699
word disner,which
actually means breakfast?

160
00:05:30,742 --> 00:05:33,136
-Girl, if you don't
just say yes.
-Okay, yes.

161
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,356
Yes. Um, this weekend.

162
00:05:35,399 --> 00:05:37,183
-That would be lover-ly.
-Great.

163
00:05:37,227 --> 00:05:39,229
Uh, I got your number here,
so, uh...

164
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,187
I'll call you.

165
00:05:41,231 --> 00:05:43,581
Well, well, well.

166
00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:47,063
My insemination options
are stacking up nicely.

167
00:05:47,106 --> 00:05:49,370
[phone rings]

168
00:05:49,413 --> 00:05:51,372
Unknown caller, ooh.

169
00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:54,549
Hey, Steve, aren't you a little
eager beaver with the Kat fever?

170
00:05:54,592 --> 00:05:56,725
-Hey, it's Dr. Marshall.
-Oh, sorry.

171
00:05:56,768 --> 00:05:59,641
Uh, yeah, hi,
Dr. Marshall, this is she.

172
00:05:59,684 --> 00:06:02,426
It's my doctor with the test
results-- Randi, hold me.

173
00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:04,602
[Marshall speaking indistinctly
on phone]

174
00:06:04,646 --> 00:06:07,213
Boundaries, Wyatt.

175
00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:15,657
"Somewhat viable." She said
I was "somewhat viable."

176
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,007
I was hoping for a "Go for it!"
Or "Nope, too late."

177
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,836
Or "Hey, want to grab a glass of
white zin and talk about boys?"

178
00:06:20,879 --> 00:06:23,447
But, no, I got
"somewhat viable."

179
00:06:23,491 --> 00:06:25,449
I once ate some oysters
that were somewhat viable.

180
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:26,885
I ended up in the ER.

181
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,713
They had to cut my jeans off.

182
00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:32,369
Well, Kat, what does your doctor
think you should do?

183
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:34,850
She said it's my decision
and there are no guarantees.

184
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:37,722
So as far as my friendship with
her goes, I'm less enamored.

185
00:06:37,766 --> 00:06:39,463
Well, why don't you make
a pros and cons list?

186
00:06:39,507 --> 00:06:41,247
That's how I decided
whether or not to tell Daniel

187
00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:43,249
I did not care
for his night kimono.

188
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:45,208
I decided not to,
and that was a big mistake,

189
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:46,862
because then
he gave me a matching one.

190
00:06:46,905 --> 00:06:48,341
And now we look
like back-up singers.

191
00:06:49,908 --> 00:06:51,693
Okay, uh, pros and cons list.

192
00:06:51,736 --> 00:06:54,086
That's a good idea. Uh, okay.

193
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,828
Uh, first of all, I'd have
to give myself hormone shots.

194
00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,526
[all groan]

195
00:06:58,569 --> 00:07:00,615
Okay, that sounds like a con.

196
00:07:00,658 --> 00:07:02,355
I can help you
with the hormone shots.

197
00:07:02,399 --> 00:07:04,053
Ooh, more quality time
with Phil.

198
00:07:04,096 --> 00:07:05,315
That's a pro.

199
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,838
I used to give Mama her insulin.

200
00:07:06,882 --> 00:07:09,406
I'd grab her by the neck fat
to distract her,

201
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:11,756
and then shoot her in the belly!

202
00:07:13,192 --> 00:07:15,325
Okay, so maybe a wash
on that one.

203
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,893
Look, I can't think of anything

204
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:19,416
cuter and weirder than having

205
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,852
a tiny, little you
running around.

206
00:07:20,896 --> 00:07:22,941
I know. Pro, pro, pro.

207
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,900
But freezing
your eggs is expensive.

208
00:07:24,943 --> 00:07:26,771
I know. Con, con, con.

209
00:07:26,815 --> 00:07:30,340
It's, like, $15,000
for one retrieval attempt.

210
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,951
Reminds me of those arcade
claw games that I never win.

211
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,910
Like, get the egg,
get the egg, get the--

212
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:36,825
Aw, you got the fuzzy dice.

213
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:39,392
If you want a kid that bad,
take mine.

214
00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:41,786
CJ'’s been riding my ass all week
about getting a tattoo.

215
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:44,485
Of what you ask?
His video game controller.

216
00:07:44,528 --> 00:07:46,312
You know what that looks like
when it's sketched out?

217
00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:48,837
A penis with buttons.

218
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,709
That's funny, I wanted a tattoo
of a penis with buttons,

219
00:07:51,753 --> 00:07:54,538
but it looked too much
like a video game controller.

220
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:56,758
[men cheering, clamoring]

221
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,716
Sorry, it's just,
this conversation

222
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,501
makes me uncomfortable.

223
00:08:00,544 --> 00:08:02,633
Oh, 'cause you don't like
discussing female problems?

224
00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:05,549
No, because I'm your friend
and it just seems

225
00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:08,117
like a really tough thing
to put your body through.

226
00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:12,208
All right, new strategy.
Let's take a vote.

227
00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:14,863
No voting-- it's not
our decision to make.

228
00:08:14,906 --> 00:08:16,647
Uh, I have a question.

229
00:08:16,691 --> 00:08:19,520
Once they get 'em out of you,
where do they put 'em?

230
00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:21,957
In a freezer somewhere, and then
every time the power goes out,

231
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,872
I'm gonna be all worried
about them.

232
00:08:23,915 --> 00:08:26,483
Like how when it goes out now,
I worry about my popsicles.

233
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:28,964
But these are not popsicles,
they're people-sicles.

234
00:08:31,836 --> 00:08:34,317
Hey, Carter, is my phone ready?

235
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,755
Yep, got the rest of your
utilities synced up on autopay.

236
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,453
You just keep making that dough
by baking that dough,

237
00:08:40,497 --> 00:08:42,325
and you're good to go, bro.

238
00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:44,370
Thanks for looking out
for me, Carter.

239
00:08:44,414 --> 00:08:47,373
Although I'm gonna miss Bonnie,
my favorite teller at the bank.

240
00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:50,246
She has the most beautiful,
long fingernails.

241
00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:52,378
I've seen her scratch off

242
00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:55,512
five lottery tickets
at the same time.

243
00:08:55,556 --> 00:08:57,470
Well, speaking of looking out
for you,

244
00:08:57,514 --> 00:08:59,385
your boyfriend Henry texted
while I had your phone.

245
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,039
Now, don't freak out, but I took

246
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:02,780
the liberty of texting him back
and asking him

247
00:09:02,824 --> 00:09:04,521
to meet you here tonight.

248
00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:06,088
-You did what?
-Look, I know,

249
00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:07,959
but I can't just let you
keep handing out money

250
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:09,918
to a guy you don't know exists.

251
00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:12,485
This way, if a little old guy
with a couple of hearing aids

252
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:15,271
shows up, I'’ll text you,
you come by and say hi.

253
00:09:15,314 --> 00:09:17,229
But I'm not ready to say hi!

254
00:09:17,273 --> 00:09:19,449
Then I'll say you went
to a funeral or something.

255
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,538
But if nobody shows up,

256
00:09:21,582 --> 00:09:23,975
I'’m calling the cops,
we gonna find that catfish,

257
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:27,196
get your money back,
and throw his ass in jail.

258
00:09:27,239 --> 00:09:29,285
Okay.

259
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:35,291
BOTH [singsongy]:
Knock, knock.

260
00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:36,727
You know, people usually
knock beforethey enter.

261
00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:38,337
What if I had
a gentleman caller?

262
00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:40,731
We took our chances.

263
00:09:40,775 --> 00:09:42,472
Is there a reason you're here?

264
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,996
Yes, because I can't believe
that my Kitty Kats

265
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,519
is gonna have kittens!

266
00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:48,043
Mother, I told you
not to say anything.

267
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:49,871
I don't even know
what I'm gonna do yet.

268
00:09:49,914 --> 00:09:51,873
I couldn't help it, we were
getting a couples massage.

269
00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:53,570
How can I not tell her?

270
00:09:53,614 --> 00:09:56,268
The daughter she always wanted.

271
00:09:56,312 --> 00:09:58,183
I have a present.

272
00:09:58,227 --> 00:09:59,924
My favorite maternity clothes.

273
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:02,013
I have been saving them
for just such an occasion.

274
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,580
All right, slow down,

275
00:10:03,624 --> 00:10:04,886
you're putting the clothes
before the horse.

276
00:10:04,929 --> 00:10:06,670
There's a lot of unknowns here.

277
00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,629
I don't even know if I want
to do it and I don't even

278
00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:10,848
know if it's gonna be successful
if I do try and do it.

279
00:10:10,892 --> 00:10:12,720
Don't be such a Gloomy Gus.

280
00:10:12,763 --> 00:10:14,678
I feel it in my gut

281
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:17,550
that this process
is gonna bring me a grandchild.

282
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:20,249
Yeah, but it's in mygut
that it needs to happen.

283
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:22,686
And it's an awful lot of money
for a big gamble.

284
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:24,296
Oh, don't worry about the money.

285
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:25,820
I'll help you.

286
00:10:25,863 --> 00:10:27,604
Well, that's interesting
since you didn't help me

287
00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:29,606
when the café needed
a new generator.

288
00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:31,695
Can I push a generator
on a swing

289
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:34,698
or get it into beauty pageants?

290
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:37,092
No, but it can keep your lights
on during a power outage.

291
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,963
Can a baby do that?

292
00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:41,792
[chuckles] Baby's sounding
pretty useless right now, huh?

293
00:10:41,836 --> 00:10:44,186
[gasps]
This was my favorite

294
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:47,145
when I was pregnant with Hailey.

295
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,931
You know, if I had all the
options available today,

296
00:10:49,974 --> 00:10:51,715
you'd have a brother
or sister.

297
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,109
Wait, you told me you didn't
want to have more kids

298
00:10:54,152 --> 00:10:56,459
-because being pregnant
gave you back acne.
-No.

299
00:10:56,502 --> 00:10:58,679
You were too young
to get the whole story.

300
00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:01,551
We just couldn't get pregnant.
I'd given up

301
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,379
on having kids at all
when we finally found out

302
00:11:03,422 --> 00:11:04,510
you were on the way.

303
00:11:04,554 --> 00:11:07,644
Then, when I had you,

304
00:11:07,688 --> 00:11:11,692
oh, I felt my life's purpose
was fulfilled.

305
00:11:11,735 --> 00:11:15,347
You look so cute, Sheila.

306
00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:17,045
Please, she looks like
she should be

307
00:11:17,088 --> 00:11:18,611
in the Guinness Book
of World Records.

308
00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,442
Can you believe that
Carter used my phone

309
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,183
to contact Henry like that?

310
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,403
It's myphone.

311
00:11:27,446 --> 00:11:29,535
Yes, that was pretty ballsy,

312
00:11:29,579 --> 00:11:31,450
but I'm gonna have to take
Carter's side on this one.

313
00:11:31,494 --> 00:11:33,757
That was a lot of money
that you gave a stranger,

314
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,673
and this online dating stuff
is a cesspool of deceit.

315
00:11:36,717 --> 00:11:40,285
I know. I'm the biggest turd
in the pool.

316
00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:41,983
I got to come clean.

317
00:11:42,026 --> 00:11:45,508
Randi, I told Henry that
I'm six-foot-two

318
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,902
and used to model for Dillard's.

319
00:11:47,945 --> 00:11:51,122
Wait. So that would make you
the catfisher.

320
00:11:51,166 --> 00:11:53,951
Yes. But I can't tell Carter
because he thinks

321
00:11:53,995 --> 00:11:55,866
catfishers should be in jail.

322
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:57,607
But you're a weird kind
of catfisher.

323
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,087
You're giving money away.

324
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,566
That's like breaking into
someone's house

325
00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:02,133
and leaving a TV.

326
00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:03,787
I feel terrible.

327
00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:06,747
Sweet Henry's gonna show up
hoping to meet me,

328
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:09,750
and I didn't even use
my real picture.

329
00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:11,403
Well, whose picture
did you use?

330
00:12:12,753 --> 00:12:14,189
Hello.

331
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:18,802
Well, aren't you a sight
for sore eyes.

332
00:12:21,109 --> 00:12:22,937
Here you go.

333
00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:30,814
Uh, where the heck are you going
looking like that?

334
00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:34,209
Well, I'm just trying
to figure this out.

335
00:12:34,252 --> 00:12:35,993
My mother and Tara were
talking about

336
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:37,821
how being pregnant was
such a magical time

337
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,127
and gave them purpose.

338
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:40,998
So I just thought
that maybe if I

339
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:43,566
experienced life as a pregnant
woman for a little bit,

340
00:12:43,609 --> 00:12:45,524
it might give me some clarity
about whether I ever

341
00:12:45,568 --> 00:12:47,439
want to do this for real.

342
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,834
Okay, but this just puts me
in an awkward situation

343
00:12:50,878 --> 00:12:52,488
about whether I should
let you leave

344
00:12:52,531 --> 00:12:54,098
or stage an intervention.

345
00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:01,714
-Oh, congratulations.
-Thank you.

346
00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:04,369
It's a very special time.

347
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:05,675
Let me get that for you.

348
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,633
Oh. Thanks so much.

349
00:13:07,677 --> 00:13:09,200
It's my pleasure.

350
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:11,681
It is my pleasure to be
pleasured by you.

351
00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:15,076
That came out wrong.

352
00:13:15,119 --> 00:13:17,948
Oh, little line.

353
00:13:17,992 --> 00:13:19,732
Oh, does anyone mind
if we let the pregnant woman

354
00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:20,821
cut to the front?

355
00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:24,781
[laughing]:
Oh...

356
00:13:24,825 --> 00:13:26,522
Strawberry on a sugar cone,
please.

357
00:13:26,565 --> 00:13:28,959
Do you mind if I guess?
I'm pretty good at this.

358
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:31,832
-My weight?
-Oh, no, no.
Uh, the sex of the baby.

359
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:34,617
Oh. [laughs] Right, yeah.

360
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:36,575
Um, guess away.

361
00:13:36,619 --> 00:13:39,187
Uh, by the way you're carrying,
I would say it's a boy.

362
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,102
Nope, it's a girl.

363
00:13:41,145 --> 00:13:43,669
I could have made him right,
but I decided to make him wrong.

364
00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,541
I feel really powerful
right now.

365
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,325
There you go.

366
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,414
I gave you an extra scoop
because you're eating for two.

367
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:51,547
Oh, thank you so much.
What do I owe you?

368
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:52,940
Oh, it's on the house.

369
00:13:52,983 --> 00:13:54,985
[laughing]:
Yum!

370
00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:57,553
Oh, tastes better
when it's free.

371
00:13:57,596 --> 00:13:59,207
Oh, sorry.

372
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,730
Kat?

373
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,559
Steve. Hi.

374
00:14:03,602 --> 00:14:04,952
Maybe he won't notice
that I'm...

375
00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:08,085
-Are you pregnant?
-He noticed.

376
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:09,870
[chuckles nervously]

377
00:14:13,438 --> 00:14:15,049
Wait, you're really pregnant?

378
00:14:15,092 --> 00:14:17,007
-It's a girl.
-Very helpful.

379
00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:18,574
Thank you.

380
00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:20,402
But I just saw you
at your café yesterday

381
00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:22,317
and you didn't look pregnant.

382
00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:26,799
Uh, th-the reason
that you didn't notice

383
00:14:26,843 --> 00:14:29,977
is that I-I popped overnight.

384
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:31,717
Which, as a man,
you may not know

385
00:14:31,761 --> 00:14:33,154
it's an actual thing.

386
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:34,459
It's a real thing.

387
00:14:34,503 --> 00:14:36,418
Don't you have ice cream
to scoop?

388
00:14:36,461 --> 00:14:38,376
Look, uh, I don't know
that I'm ready

389
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,856
to go on a date
with someone who's...

390
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,249
-[whispering]: I'm not pregnant.
-What?

391
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:42,641
I have to tell you something.

392
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,083
I'm sorry, I didn't want
to say anything

393
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:51,302
in front of all those people,
but you can relax.

394
00:14:51,346 --> 00:14:53,870
This is all a misunderstanding.
I'm not really pregnant.

395
00:14:53,914 --> 00:14:57,352
-You look really pregnant.
-I'm just doing an experiment.

396
00:14:57,395 --> 00:14:59,876
A little personal,
social experiment.

397
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,747
Okay, full disclosure,

398
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:03,271
I'm thinking about
freezing my eggs

399
00:15:03,314 --> 00:15:05,012
because I might want
to get pregnant someday,

400
00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:07,536
but I'm not quite sure.
I could also adopt.

401
00:15:07,579 --> 00:15:09,364
I'm super pro-adoption.

402
00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:11,148
Maybe things will
work out between us

403
00:15:11,192 --> 00:15:13,455
and we'll do things
the old-fashioned way.

404
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,370
Or not. No, but seriously,

405
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:17,763
it's just a pillow under there--
go ahead, pinch it.

406
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,330
I'm not pinching your baby.

407
00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:20,853
Then put your hand
up my shirt.

408
00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:23,595
Um, that's more of
an after-date thing.

409
00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:26,729
Steve, it's just a pillow
from my couch. Here.

410
00:15:26,772 --> 00:15:28,078
Hold this.

411
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:30,298
Look. See?
I don't feel anything.

412
00:15:30,341 --> 00:15:31,908
Oh. Okay, fine.

413
00:15:31,952 --> 00:15:33,170
Say "push."

414
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,346
-Push.
-[mock screaming]

415
00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:36,521
See?

416
00:15:36,565 --> 00:15:38,001
Pillow baby!

417
00:15:38,045 --> 00:15:40,743
Easy birth.
Hey, I can drink again.

418
00:15:42,397 --> 00:15:44,790
[laughing]

419
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,401
"Wah!" Ooh.

420
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:49,099
[chuckling]:
Burp the baby.

421
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:57,020
What the hell, Phil?

422
00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:59,022
Here I was, worried about you,

423
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:00,937
only to find out that
you stole Max's identity.

424
00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,808
I'm sorry, Max.

425
00:16:02,852 --> 00:16:04,767
But in my defense...

426
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:07,683
I never thought you'd find out.

427
00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:09,685
-Well, I found out.
-He had to break up

428
00:16:09,728 --> 00:16:11,687
with an old man wearing
hearing aids.

429
00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:14,168
Do you know how many times
Max had to repeat hisself?

430
00:16:14,211 --> 00:16:16,866
Everybody at the bar had a tear
in their eye.

431
00:16:18,346 --> 00:16:20,130
I pulled out some
of my go-to breakup phrases.

432
00:16:20,174 --> 00:16:22,132
"The timing's off."
"You deserve better."

433
00:16:22,176 --> 00:16:24,134
"I think I'm just scared
of being happy."

434
00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:26,615
And then, ultimately,
"I'm not Phil!"

435
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:29,618
I'm sorry I put you
in that position,

436
00:16:29,661 --> 00:16:32,142
but I have never
online-dated before,

437
00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:34,449
and I didn't think
anybody'd pay any attention

438
00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:36,799
if they saw the real me.

439
00:16:36,842 --> 00:16:38,496
Well, someday, Phil,
you're gonna have

440
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,368
to start seeing yourself
the way everyone else does.

441
00:16:40,411 --> 00:16:42,761
You know what? Repeat after me.

442
00:16:42,805 --> 00:16:46,591
I am Phil Crumpler,
and I am hot as hell!

443
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:49,116
I'm not gonna say that.

444
00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:51,074
Okay, then try this:
I am Phil Crumpler,

445
00:16:51,118 --> 00:16:53,990
and I make the most delicious
pies and tell great stories.

446
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,514
And I am cute as a button.

447
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,516
[chanting]:
Say it! Say it!

448
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,954
RANDI, MAX AND CARTER:
Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!

449
00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:05,088
-Say it!
-I'm Phil Crumpler,
and I'm hot as hell!

450
00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:06,437
[cheering]

451
00:17:06,481 --> 00:17:09,397
Oh, I'm getting my mojo back.

452
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,355
Do you think
I should text Henry?

453
00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:13,618
Yeah, I think he'd like that.
When I walked him to his car,

454
00:17:13,662 --> 00:17:15,968
his lip was kind of trembling,
so I gave him a hug.

455
00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:18,232
And then he grabbed a cheek.

456
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:21,583
Well, turns out
lying is a bad idea.

457
00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:24,847
See?

458
00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:26,631
♪

459
00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:32,376
You know, I can see how
giving birth to a throw pillow

460
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:34,465
on the sidewalk
in front of a group of onlookers

461
00:17:34,509 --> 00:17:36,467
might be a little bit nuts,
but I feel like

462
00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:38,469
I was driven nuts
trying to make a decision

463
00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:40,167
that Steve
will never even have to make.

464
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,820
So screw you, Steve.

465
00:17:41,864 --> 00:17:43,692
Well, let's not be too hard
on Steve.

466
00:17:43,735 --> 00:17:45,781
Sounds like a lot of things
were coming at him at once.

467
00:17:45,824 --> 00:17:49,263
[chuckles]: Yeah, screw you,
Max, for taking Steve's side.

468
00:17:49,306 --> 00:17:51,526
You know, you guys have
all the time in the world

469
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,528
to make decisions
about procreation.

470
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:55,530
You know who else has
all the time in the world?

471
00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,967
Cats. They can have kittens
up until the day they die.

472
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,577
But not this Kat.

473
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,405
Hey, there's still
kind of a clock with guys.

474
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:04,060
I mean, I wouldn't want me
and my kid to both be in diapers

475
00:18:04,104 --> 00:18:05,540
at the same time.

476
00:18:09,413 --> 00:18:10,719
Wow.

477
00:18:10,762 --> 00:18:13,896
Even in a diaper,
he's still hot.

478
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:17,204
So, wait,
do you want to have kids?

479
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:20,076
Mm, not really.

480
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,601
I mean, I love roughhousing
with my nieces and nephews,

481
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,603
and I loved teaching, but...

482
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,475
I don't like thinking
about my own future,

483
00:18:27,518 --> 00:18:29,564
and worrying
about someone else's

484
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:31,566
-might make my head explode.
-Hmm.

485
00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:33,045
You'd be a fun dad, though.

486
00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:34,395
Oh, I acknowledge that.

487
00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:35,918
You'd be a fun mom.

488
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:38,050
Oh, I acknowledge that.

489
00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:40,314
But you still have time
to change your mind.

490
00:18:40,357 --> 00:18:42,664
I don't.
This might be my last chance

491
00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:44,753
to have biological children.

492
00:18:44,796 --> 00:18:47,756
Which I may not even want,
or maybe I do, I...

493
00:18:47,799 --> 00:18:49,758
There I go, Max,
back on the hamster wheel:

494
00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:51,629
circular thoughts,
circular thoughts.

495
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,979
What does your gut tell you?

496
00:18:54,023 --> 00:18:56,895
My gut?
Tells me that I have no idea

497
00:18:56,939 --> 00:18:58,897
what the rest of my life's
gonna look like,

498
00:18:58,941 --> 00:19:01,204
much less what I'm gonna want
or need in a year.

499
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,989
I-I never thought I'd quit
my job and open a cat café.

500
00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:06,166
I never thought I'd become
a One Direction fan

501
00:19:06,209 --> 00:19:07,558
four years after they broke up.

502
00:19:07,602 --> 00:19:09,169
They didn't actually break up.

503
00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,388
-It's just a hiatus.
-They're in a hiatus.

504
00:19:11,432 --> 00:19:14,130
Look, I may be
turning 40 soon, but...

505
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:18,613
I still feel like my future is
full of unknown possibilities.

506
00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:22,312
Kat...

507
00:19:22,356 --> 00:19:26,142
I may not know math like you do,
but I know this:

508
00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:29,276
if freezing your eggs isn't
a hundred percent no,

509
00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:31,887
it's a yes.

510
00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:34,977
That's not really math at all,
but I like it.

511
00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:36,979
[chuckles]

512
00:19:37,022 --> 00:19:38,894
And like you said,
it's expensive,

513
00:19:38,937 --> 00:19:40,330
it may not work...

514
00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:43,072
but in the spirit
of possibilities...

515
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,205
let that be one of them.

516
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:49,470
You voted.
You said you weren't gonna vote,

517
00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:51,080
but you voted.

518
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,170
I just... I want for you
what you want for you.

519
00:19:54,214 --> 00:19:56,825
I think that's what you want.

520
00:19:56,868 --> 00:19:59,741
I think that is what I want.

521
00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:01,569
I want possibilities.

522
00:20:03,397 --> 00:20:07,183
Or what if I tell my mother
I'm freezing my eggs,

523
00:20:07,227 --> 00:20:10,142
take her money, and we go
on a badass cruise to Alaska?

524
00:20:10,186 --> 00:20:11,143
I support that as well.

525
00:20:11,187 --> 00:20:12,188
-Cheers.
-Cheers.

526
00:20:12,232 --> 00:20:14,190
♪

527
00:20:16,366 --> 00:20:18,020
Phil?

528
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:19,413
Henry?

529
00:20:19,456 --> 00:20:21,806
Well, aren't you
a sight for sore eyes.

530
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:25,027
[laughing]:
Oh, you're gonna make me blush!

531
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,072
Sit down, handsome.

532
00:20:28,944 --> 00:20:30,815
HENRY:
Nice to meet you.

533
00:20:30,859 --> 00:20:33,427
We call her Nelly, but you
can name her whatever you want.

534
00:20:33,470 --> 00:20:35,167
I like Nelly.

535
00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:36,995
She's an only child,
and this is her first pet,

536
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:38,388
so it's a big deal for her.

537
00:20:38,432 --> 00:20:39,824
I get it.

538
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:41,609
Okay, now you get to flip
the number.

539
00:20:44,394 --> 00:20:46,309
Good job.
All right, well,

540
00:20:46,353 --> 00:20:48,877
take good care of Nelly.

541
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,140
Here are all her eye patches.

542
00:20:52,141 --> 00:20:54,361
She's probably gonna want to
sleep under the covers with you.

543
00:20:54,404 --> 00:20:56,319
-[meows]
-[sobbing]

544
00:20:56,363 --> 00:20:58,800
Sorry I'm crying, it's just
that she's one of my favorites

545
00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:00,018
and...

546
00:21:00,062 --> 00:21:01,890
and I'm taking hormone shots.

547
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,285
Oh. Her favorite song is

548
00:21:05,328 --> 00:21:06,938
Nelly's "Hot in Herre."

549
00:21:06,982 --> 00:21:09,506
Is it me, or is it
really getting hot in here?

550
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,247
All right, well, goodbye.

551
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:13,728
Goodbye to you, Nelly. Oh...

552
00:21:14,642 --> 00:21:16,121
And goodbye to you.

553
00:21:16,165 --> 00:21:18,123
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh♪

554
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,343
♪ We know how to work it
and we work it real good♪

555
00:21:20,387 --> 00:21:23,651
♪ Bright lights are shining,
they like the way we look♪

556
00:21:23,694 --> 00:21:25,479
♪ I ain't got no shoes but got
a whole lot of soul♪

557
00:21:25,522 --> 00:21:27,350
♪ Watch me now♪

558
00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:31,354
♪ Watch me now,
whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh♪

559
00:21:31,398 --> 00:21:33,008
♪ Watch me, watch me now.♪