1 00:00:02,632 --> 00:00:05,417 Alexa, remind me to call my mother every day at 6:00 p.m. 2 00:00:05,461 --> 00:00:09,334 ALEXA: Okay, I'll remind you every day at 6:00 p.m. 3 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:10,944 Isn't that wonderful? 4 00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:13,034 Now you won't have to worry about forgetting. 5 00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:15,210 My mother decided to give me my birthday present 6 00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:16,950 three months early. 7 00:00:16,994 --> 00:00:19,518 I suspect so she could feel appreciated longer. 8 00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:22,043 She can help you keep your calendar, 9 00:00:22,086 --> 00:00:23,653 make your grocery list. 10 00:00:23,696 --> 00:00:25,524 Alexa, make a fart sound. 11 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:27,657 ALEXA: Okay, here's big fart. 12 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,789 -[fart noise] -[laughs] 13 00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:31,835 Oh, Katharine, really? 14 00:00:31,878 --> 00:00:34,011 Hey, you don't get to control my relationship with Alexa 15 00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:35,665 just because you introduced us. 16 00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:38,102 We like to have fun, okay? We're silly. 17 00:00:38,146 --> 00:00:40,191 You're also almost 40 years old. 18 00:00:40,235 --> 00:00:42,672 Oh, that reminds me. The cemetery called. 19 00:00:42,715 --> 00:00:44,500 Oh, my gosh. They come calling now? 20 00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:46,589 How long did they give you? 21 00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,330 They called to say that the burial plot 22 00:00:48,373 --> 00:00:50,636 next to me and Daddy just became available. 23 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,465 Wait, how does a burial plot just "become available"? 24 00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,119 Well, they said the police wouldn't let them comment 25 00:00:55,163 --> 00:00:58,296 on ongoing investigations, but they assured me 26 00:00:58,340 --> 00:00:59,776 he's not going back in. 27 00:01:01,169 --> 00:01:03,301 And since you don't have a husband to be buried next to, 28 00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:05,347 you should scoop this one up. 29 00:01:06,913 --> 00:01:09,351 And on that awesome new thing I have to think about, 30 00:01:09,394 --> 00:01:10,874 on with our show. 31 00:01:10,917 --> 00:01:12,963 ♪ 32 00:01:18,273 --> 00:01:19,578 How's your pee stream, Max? 33 00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,450 Come again? 34 00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:23,147 Well, we're all getting older, and I was just wondering, 35 00:01:23,191 --> 00:01:25,149 'cause I've heard that guys tend to lose power 36 00:01:25,193 --> 00:01:27,673 from their pee stream as they age, and you're already 40. 37 00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:29,893 My pee stream age is 25. 38 00:01:30,894 --> 00:01:32,417 If anybody's wondering, I can pee 39 00:01:32,461 --> 00:01:34,941 through a mini-donut from across the room. 40 00:01:34,985 --> 00:01:36,682 My stream is so powerful, it can blow a hole 41 00:01:36,726 --> 00:01:38,249 in a double cheeseburger. 42 00:01:38,293 --> 00:01:41,600 Clean through from bun to bun. 43 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:44,473 -[laughs] -Well, I got to go bury my nose in some court cases. 44 00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:46,649 -See you tonight? -No, I don't think so. 45 00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:48,520 My cousin's in town, so we're going out clubbing. 46 00:01:48,564 --> 00:01:50,609 Oh, cool. Well, have fun. 47 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,437 Oh, you don't have to tell me to have fun. 48 00:01:52,481 --> 00:01:55,266 When you're this fine, fun just jumps in your lap. [laughs] 49 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:58,704 Well, if it jumps out before I go to bed at 11:00, 50 00:01:58,748 --> 00:02:01,185 -give me a ring. -All right. 51 00:02:01,229 --> 00:02:02,795 KAT: What a cool guy. 52 00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:05,755 And hot. He's hot, he's cool. 53 00:02:05,798 --> 00:02:08,192 He's like a therapeutic sports rub. 54 00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:11,587 Yeah, and so confident and understanding. 55 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:12,892 It's pretty annoying. 56 00:02:12,936 --> 00:02:14,981 KAT: Mm-hmm. 57 00:02:16,026 --> 00:02:17,767 Wait, why is that annoying? 58 00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:20,117 I don't know, I mean, we have a great time together, 59 00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:21,205 but when I want to do my own stuff, 60 00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:23,120 he's just fine with it. 61 00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:25,601 And not once have I caught him trying to look through my phone. 62 00:02:25,644 --> 00:02:27,385 What kind of a boyfriend is that? 63 00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:30,258 Uh, the good kind that trusts you? 64 00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:33,783 You know what Randi doesn't trust? Trust. 65 00:02:33,826 --> 00:02:35,741 I'm so excited for tonight. 66 00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:38,788 My cousin Birdie found this bar that has a mechanical bull. 67 00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:41,138 Ooh, I got to remember to double-bra the girls. 68 00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:44,576 Ooh, riding a mechanical bull is on my whistle list. 69 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,317 Don't you mean bucket list? 70 00:02:46,361 --> 00:02:47,797 Everyone in my family calls it a whistle list 71 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,799 because after you do it you go, 72 00:02:49,842 --> 00:02:52,889 -[wolf whistles] "Should've done that sooner." -[chuckles] 73 00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:55,631 I want to watch Phil ride a bull. I'm in. 74 00:02:55,674 --> 00:02:58,329 No turning back now. What time do we go? 75 00:02:58,373 --> 00:02:59,983 Hold on. This is my night out. 76 00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:01,985 And I mean this with great respect: 77 00:03:02,028 --> 00:03:04,205 oldies get left in the cold-ie. 78 00:03:04,248 --> 00:03:08,121 Hey, I may be nearing my 40th turn round the sun, 79 00:03:08,165 --> 00:03:10,950 and, sure, sometimes when I'm sitting in my rocking chair, 80 00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:13,779 I can't tell if the squeaking sound is my chair or my knees. 81 00:03:13,823 --> 00:03:14,954 You have a rocking chair? 82 00:03:14,998 --> 00:03:16,869 It's a modern glider. 83 00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:20,308 My point is, I still feel like I'm in my 20s. 84 00:03:20,351 --> 00:03:22,223 And between going to grad school to become a math professor 85 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:24,486 and changing my mind and opening my own business, 86 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:26,879 I missed out on some prime partying. 87 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,838 Oh, come on, Randi. We'll have fun. 88 00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:31,014 Plus, Phil needs to check mechanical bull riding 89 00:03:31,057 --> 00:03:32,668 off his whistle list. 90 00:03:32,711 --> 00:03:34,278 I would love that. When I was a kid, 91 00:03:34,322 --> 00:03:35,845 we used to ride bucking goats. 92 00:03:35,888 --> 00:03:37,455 Mama'd say, "Don't you ride those goats. 93 00:03:37,499 --> 00:03:40,850 Those goats aren't for riding." But we did. 94 00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:44,462 It's just that when Birdie and I kick it, 95 00:03:44,506 --> 00:03:47,160 we usually like to keep the party going until sunup. 96 00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:50,947 Oh, I see. The gauntlet has been thrown, has it? 97 00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:52,601 Well, I pick up that gauntlet and I say, 98 00:03:52,644 --> 00:03:54,429 "We shall party until the little hand's 99 00:03:54,472 --> 00:03:56,257 on the six and the big hand's on the 12." 100 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:59,303 That's time-telling, old person style. 101 00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:02,698 Okay, fine, just try not to embarrass me while we're out. 102 00:04:02,741 --> 00:04:05,701 -Of course not. -I would never. 103 00:04:05,744 --> 00:04:07,224 I'm gonna dance like this. 104 00:04:07,268 --> 00:04:08,660 And I'm gonna dance like this. 105 00:04:08,704 --> 00:04:09,922 I'm gonna dance like this. 106 00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:12,577 I'm gonna dance like this. 107 00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:14,666 [country music playing] 108 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:20,498 [nasally]: The midnight hour approacheth. 109 00:04:20,542 --> 00:04:24,850 We shall celebrate bringing in the new day with souvenir cups. 110 00:04:24,894 --> 00:04:27,723 Are these drinks gray? 111 00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:30,247 [regular voice]: Yeah. It's called the Louisville Tombstone. 112 00:04:30,291 --> 00:04:33,163 'Cause after two of these, you'll be six feet under. 113 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,166 I read that on the menu. 114 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,343 Which reminds me, I need to talk to you about my burial plot. 115 00:04:39,387 --> 00:04:41,084 No. This is what I was afraid of. 116 00:04:41,127 --> 00:04:42,738 This is old people talk. 117 00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:44,261 Well, my mother put it on hold, 118 00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:46,176 and I only have 24 hours to decide. 119 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,091 It's a very popular location. 120 00:04:48,134 --> 00:04:51,573 -People are dying to get in there. -[laughs] 121 00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:53,575 Shoot, my texts to Birdie aren't going through. 122 00:04:53,618 --> 00:04:55,577 I don't have any bars in this bar. 123 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,361 Hey. 124 00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:58,884 I figured you don't want a stranger buying you a drink, 125 00:04:58,928 --> 00:05:00,712 so we should probably dance first. 126 00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:03,019 -I can see that happening. -Oh... 127 00:05:03,062 --> 00:05:04,499 Uh, Randi, what are you doing? 128 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:06,370 Aren't you and Daniel going steady? 129 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:08,154 Oldie says what? 130 00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,287 You know, uh, dating exclusively. 131 00:05:10,331 --> 00:05:11,593 Daniel doesn't seem to worry about what I do without him, 132 00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,769 so why should I? 133 00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:15,727 ♪ Sometimes on the weekend I like to watch a movie...♪ 134 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:17,555 -This place is great. -[laughs]: Yeah. 135 00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:19,035 Great. So great. 136 00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:20,602 We're doing this. 137 00:05:20,645 --> 00:05:23,387 Yeah, we are. Sunrise or bust. 138 00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:25,476 [whoops] 139 00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:32,527 Do you think we're the oldest people in here? 140 00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:34,964 By far. 141 00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:36,400 They're all thinking about drinking 142 00:05:36,444 --> 00:05:38,010 and rolling around with each other. 143 00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:40,317 But you know what I'm thinking about? 144 00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:41,449 Don't say it, Phil. 145 00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:43,581 -Sleeping. -[groans] 146 00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:45,366 Now you got me thinking about Frank. 147 00:05:45,409 --> 00:05:46,671 Who's Frank? 148 00:05:46,715 --> 00:05:47,890 Frank is my body pillow. 149 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,457 He's made of memory foam 150 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:54,070 and he has memorized every inch of my body. 151 00:05:54,113 --> 00:05:57,856 By chance, uh, do you and Frank have an open relationship? 152 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,598 -[laughs] -I'm, like, freaking out right now, 153 00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:02,339 you're so cute. 154 00:06:02,383 --> 00:06:04,733 Um, will you come dance with me and my friends? 155 00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:07,953 Damn me and my teddy bear nature. 156 00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:11,043 -Oh, my gosh. Get on my back. -[grunts] 157 00:06:11,087 --> 00:06:12,349 Giddyap, girl. 158 00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:14,438 [gasps] You guys, I got him! 159 00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:15,700 [laughs] 160 00:06:16,745 --> 00:06:18,224 [yawns] 161 00:06:18,268 --> 00:06:20,705 Oh, I'm not tired. 162 00:06:20,749 --> 00:06:22,664 I'm not tired. 163 00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:25,231 Just like a little tired. 164 00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:26,407 [snoring] 165 00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:28,452 ♪ 166 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,282 [snores] 167 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,979 Oh. 168 00:06:34,023 --> 00:06:36,591 Oh, wow. I fell asleep standing up, like a horse. 169 00:06:37,809 --> 00:06:40,464 Do some exercises, get my blood pumping. 170 00:06:40,508 --> 00:06:42,118 Couple shoulder rolls. 171 00:06:42,161 --> 00:06:43,380 Twists. 172 00:06:43,424 --> 00:06:45,164 -Oh! -Oh! Man down, man down. 173 00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:46,557 -I am so sorry. -[shouts] 174 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:47,950 Okay, now I stepped on your foot. 175 00:06:47,993 --> 00:06:50,474 Frank never would've let this happen. 176 00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,393 I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 177 00:06:56,437 --> 00:06:58,351 You hit me right in the button. 178 00:06:58,395 --> 00:07:00,223 Uh, by way of apology, here. 179 00:07:00,266 --> 00:07:02,225 Uh, reach in, grab whatever you want. 180 00:07:02,268 --> 00:07:03,748 There's-there's a lot of peppermints in there. 181 00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:05,358 There-There's some fun hair clips. 182 00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:06,969 Okay. I like hair clips. 183 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,538 [laughs]: Hey, you got my keys. 184 00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:12,278 I think you mean my keys. 185 00:07:12,322 --> 00:07:14,977 Well, in that case, I like your U of L keychain. 186 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,500 I used to have one just like it. 187 00:07:16,544 --> 00:07:17,806 -Oh, did you go there? -Yeah. 188 00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:19,851 -Oh, me, too. -Not to brag, 189 00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:21,592 but I'm probably their hugest basketball fan. 190 00:07:21,636 --> 00:07:23,072 Well, since we're both not bragging, 191 00:07:23,115 --> 00:07:25,770 when I was a student, I was the mascot. 192 00:07:25,814 --> 00:07:28,077 Shut your face. 193 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,558 You were Louie the Cardinal? 194 00:07:30,601 --> 00:07:32,385 Uh, brag on, kind sir. 195 00:07:32,429 --> 00:07:34,562 As you wish, milady. Remember, like, ten years ago, 196 00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:36,520 at halftime, when the mascot took off at the half-court line, 197 00:07:36,564 --> 00:07:37,652 jumped on the trampoline, misjudged the hoop, 198 00:07:37,695 --> 00:07:39,392 hit his head on the backboard... 199 00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:40,872 And then he had to be carried out on a stretcher 200 00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:42,308 and everybody chanted, "Louie! Louie!" 201 00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:44,397 -That was me. -Oh, my God! 202 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:46,835 You're like a celebrity. 203 00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:48,097 You know, I actually auditioned 204 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:49,881 to be the mascot my freshman year. 205 00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:51,143 Oh, really? When was that? 206 00:07:51,187 --> 00:07:52,405 Uh, nineteen-ninety... 207 00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:53,842 let me buy you drink. [laughs] 208 00:07:53,885 --> 00:07:56,758 Why am I suddenly not admitting my age? 209 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,934 Maybe I am becoming my mother. 210 00:07:58,977 --> 00:08:03,199 It is weird that I don't know how old you are, Mother. 211 00:08:03,242 --> 00:08:07,203 I'm older than a seedling but younger than the Moon. 212 00:08:07,246 --> 00:08:08,987 I'm stronger than an oak 213 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,989 -and flexible like the wind. -Flexible like the wind. 214 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,252 Sorry I brought it up. 215 00:08:13,296 --> 00:08:15,341 Well, saddle up, Grandpa. 216 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:17,735 Wait, wait, I'm getting on, too. 217 00:08:17,779 --> 00:08:19,911 [shouts] 218 00:08:19,955 --> 00:08:21,826 ♪ I want to run...♪ 219 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,698 -Whoa. -[whooping] 220 00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,484 Whoopee! 221 00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:29,312 ♪ 222 00:08:29,355 --> 00:08:31,401 ♪ Yippee-yi-oh, yippee-yi-ki-yay...♪ 223 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,229 Randi? Phil? 224 00:08:33,272 --> 00:08:34,404 ♪ Lasso your heart, steal it away...♪ 225 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,406 Excuse me, sir. 226 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:40,715 ♪ Want to lasso your heart, steal it away...♪ 227 00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:43,065 Looking for my friends. 228 00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:44,762 ♪ Steal it away...♪ 229 00:08:44,806 --> 00:08:47,939 No, no. Randi, no. 230 00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,855 ["Man! I Feel like a Woman!" playing] 231 00:08:50,899 --> 00:08:52,770 ♪ Let's go, girls...♪ 232 00:08:52,814 --> 00:08:54,555 Finally, a song I know. 233 00:08:54,598 --> 00:08:57,514 Sir, are there rules about dancing on the bar here? 234 00:08:57,558 --> 00:09:00,865 -Does this answer your question? -[laughs] 235 00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:04,826 ♪ I'm goin' out tonight, I'm feelin' all right...♪ 236 00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:06,871 [cheering] 237 00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:12,355 I'm so glad I've practiced this on my kitchen counter at home. 238 00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:16,315 ♪ Yeah, I want to scream and shout...♪ 239 00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:19,101 Phil, look, I'm making money! 240 00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:20,885 [laughs] Oh! 241 00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:22,583 ♪ No inhibitions...♪ 242 00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:23,671 Oh... 243 00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:27,152 I'm okay. I'm okay. 244 00:09:27,196 --> 00:09:29,459 -Let's party. -[cheering] 245 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,548 ♪ I ain't gonna act politically correct♪ 246 00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:34,159 ♪ I only want to have a good time.♪ 247 00:09:34,203 --> 00:09:36,379 I can't believe we've been at the wrong club. 248 00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:38,033 Birdie's at The Bear and The Bull, 249 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:39,556 not The Bull and The Bear. 250 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,558 Phil, you scared me to death 251 00:09:41,602 --> 00:09:42,951 when I saw you go flying off that bull. 252 00:09:42,994 --> 00:09:44,430 I thought you were gonna die. 253 00:09:44,474 --> 00:09:46,084 Not a chance. Mama always taught me 254 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,913 that if I fell from any height, just go limp. 255 00:09:48,957 --> 00:09:50,698 That way, I wouldn't break anything. 256 00:09:51,742 --> 00:09:53,178 Randi, you scared me, too. 257 00:09:53,222 --> 00:09:54,702 I mean, I don't want to judge, 258 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:56,399 'cause that would be an old people thing, 259 00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:58,096 so I'll just keep it young and curious. 260 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,271 What were you doing rubbing up against that guy 261 00:09:59,315 --> 00:10:00,446 on the dance floor? 262 00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:02,144 You have a boyfriend. 263 00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:03,406 Again, I'm just asking in a young, cool, 264 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:05,060 Blue's Clueskind of way. 265 00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:07,149 Hey, those are the type of things that go down 266 00:10:07,192 --> 00:10:08,629 when young people party. 267 00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:10,369 Are you saying that you can't handle it? 268 00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:11,893 Wh-- Are you kidding me? I was dancing 269 00:10:11,936 --> 00:10:14,417 with a topless bartender and I made 23 bucks. 270 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,419 Which I then gave him 'cause I accidentally crushed 271 00:10:16,462 --> 00:10:17,986 his citrus squeezer. 272 00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:21,119 I don't know why, but that makes my nuts hurt. 273 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,774 Ooh, I also punched a guy and we had an awesome conversation. 274 00:10:23,818 --> 00:10:25,515 We have birthdays in the same month, 275 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,169 although I'll be turning 40 and he'll be turning 30. 276 00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:29,606 Ooh, yeah, no, you don't need that hassle. 277 00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:32,261 Guys mature way later, so a 29-year-old dude 278 00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:34,698 is really like a 19-year-old boy. 279 00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,482 Oh, well, that's interesting, Randi. 280 00:10:36,526 --> 00:10:37,745 So you can comment on my relationship, 281 00:10:37,788 --> 00:10:39,268 but I can't comment on yours? 282 00:10:39,311 --> 00:10:41,487 Oh, so now it's a relationship? 283 00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:43,054 No. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. 284 00:10:43,098 --> 00:10:44,839 -Stop the car! Stop the car! -Oh, no. 285 00:10:44,882 --> 00:10:46,971 Are you gonna yak? 'Cause this outfit is dry-clean only. 286 00:10:47,015 --> 00:10:48,756 No, look. 287 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,845 That's the cemetery where I may or may not 288 00:10:50,888 --> 00:10:53,456 take up permanent residence for all eternity. 289 00:10:53,499 --> 00:10:54,675 You want to check out my new digs? 290 00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:55,980 Get it? Digs? 291 00:10:56,024 --> 00:10:57,765 [laughing] 292 00:10:57,808 --> 00:10:59,680 I do get it. 293 00:11:01,638 --> 00:11:03,248 BOTH: Digs. 294 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,645 When I was a kid, we'd visit the cemetery all the time. 295 00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:11,866 Mama would put cigarettes on Pa-paw's grave 296 00:11:11,909 --> 00:11:15,783 and then she'd say, "You can't die twice from smoking." 297 00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:18,481 Hey, I-I know where we are. 298 00:11:18,524 --> 00:11:21,745 My father's plot should be right over here. 299 00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:22,877 Oh, my God. 300 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,748 Kat, I'm coming. 301 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,794 No, Phil, don't run. 302 00:11:28,665 --> 00:11:30,232 KAT: Are you okay? 303 00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:34,453 PHIL: I'm good. I just went limp again. 304 00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:36,412 At the beginning of the night, I thought you guys 305 00:11:36,455 --> 00:11:39,589 only had one foot in the grave, but look at you now. 306 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,551 -What should I do? -Can you please go find 307 00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:46,814 a vine to pull us out? 308 00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:48,772 Like a, Like a thick vine. 309 00:11:48,816 --> 00:11:51,993 Where do you think we are that I have size choices of vines? 310 00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:55,910 Vine City? Vines"R"Us? 311 00:11:55,953 --> 00:11:57,955 Bed Bath & Vines? 312 00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:01,698 Probably a lot less roomy in here 313 00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:03,352 when they put a coffin in it. 314 00:12:03,395 --> 00:12:05,528 Oh, we'll be fine. 315 00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:08,792 I was stuck in a well for three days when I was a kid. 316 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,534 Strangers lowered food down to me. 317 00:12:11,577 --> 00:12:13,754 I still can't eat a bologna sandwich 318 00:12:13,797 --> 00:12:16,495 -without a fishhook in it. -Well... 319 00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:19,716 may as well get comfortable. 320 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,414 Here lies Katharine Edith Silver, 321 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:26,549 optimistic human woman, albeit a little chilly. 322 00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:30,771 -This'll warm you up. -Oh. Thanks. 323 00:12:32,207 --> 00:12:34,165 Mm. 324 00:12:34,209 --> 00:12:37,342 Ugh. Phil, I thought that was gonna be whiskey. What is that? 325 00:12:37,386 --> 00:12:39,301 -Homemade bone broth. -Oh... 326 00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:42,130 I simmered it for eight hours. 327 00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:44,306 It's all kinds of peppery. 328 00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:46,438 Here, this one's whiskey. 329 00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:50,051 -How many flasks do you have, Phil? -Only two. 330 00:12:50,094 --> 00:12:52,923 But I've got a little jerky if you get hungry. 331 00:12:55,447 --> 00:12:58,624 Mm... there we go. 332 00:12:58,668 --> 00:13:02,150 That'll bring the party back. 333 00:13:02,193 --> 00:13:03,847 Well, it's a nice night out, isn't it? 334 00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:06,850 I can see the Big Dipper. 335 00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:09,853 You know, it's actually kind of cool. I mean, 336 00:13:09,897 --> 00:13:13,683 how many people get a view from their final resting place? 337 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,554 You know, at some point we all start thinking 338 00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:17,252 when the end will come. 339 00:13:17,295 --> 00:13:20,472 I'm just glad you came into my life when you did. 340 00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:23,127 You've already helped me check a lot of things 341 00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:24,999 off my whistle list. 342 00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:30,526 You know, I don't know if it's all the Tombstones 343 00:13:30,569 --> 00:13:34,182 we drank talking, or the one we're lying under... 344 00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:38,577 ...but I don't want to die, Phil. 345 00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:42,364 Oh, I know, honey. It's such a betrayal. 346 00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:44,888 Just when you start getting good at life, 347 00:13:44,932 --> 00:13:46,629 it goes away. 348 00:13:46,672 --> 00:13:48,674 And no matter how young I feel, 349 00:13:48,718 --> 00:13:51,025 it's still gonna happen. 350 00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:53,984 I know. 351 00:13:54,028 --> 00:13:57,596 I'm gonna miss so many cool things in the future. 352 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,295 Technology. Time travel. 353 00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:02,993 Pillows that cut your hair while you sleep. 354 00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:08,390 You know, but most of all, 355 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:10,131 I'm gonna miss fun nights like this 356 00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:11,872 with my friends. 357 00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:13,786 Aw. 358 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:18,226 Hey. Birdie just texted and said she's at an all-night diner. 359 00:14:18,269 --> 00:14:20,663 She met this hot old guy that she's really into, 360 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,230 and she wants to get my opinion of him. 361 00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:24,362 But most importantly, can you believe that 362 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,625 Daniel has not texted me once tonight?! 363 00:14:26,669 --> 00:14:28,149 Did you text him? 364 00:14:28,192 --> 00:14:29,715 No, I'm not gonna text him. 365 00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:31,804 What kind of a desperate message would that send? 366 00:14:31,848 --> 00:14:34,372 Uh, I don'’t mean to make this all about me, 367 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,070 but we're stuck in a hole here. 368 00:14:36,113 --> 00:14:37,593 Did you find a vine? 369 00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:39,856 No, but I did brainstorm, 370 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,424 and lucky for you... 371 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,991 I double-bra'd it. 372 00:14:48,734 --> 00:14:51,172 Ooh, what's the word? 373 00:14:51,215 --> 00:14:53,261 Birdie's the word. 374 00:14:53,304 --> 00:14:55,828 Oh, Kat, Phil, Birdie. Birdie, Kat, Phil. 375 00:14:55,872 --> 00:14:57,569 -Hi, Birdie. -Hi. 376 00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,137 -So how's it going with the hot old guy? -So good. 377 00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:02,139 He's smart and sweet and posed for Playgirl 378 00:15:02,183 --> 00:15:03,575 back when he was in college. 379 00:15:03,619 --> 00:15:07,231 Hey, I know somebody who did that. 380 00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:08,406 BOTH: What are you doing here? 381 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,887 Hi, Max. I rode a bull. 382 00:15:12,149 --> 00:15:13,803 Wait, you posed for Playgirl? 383 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,370 I was just trying to put myself through school. 384 00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:17,981 Mm-hmm, that's what all the strippers say. 385 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,636 How do you all know each other? 386 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:22,551 Oh, his strip club is right by our coffee shop. 387 00:15:23,552 --> 00:15:25,380 Okay, come sit down, and let me tell you 388 00:15:25,423 --> 00:15:27,948 how I got all this blonde girl hair stuck in my bracelet. 389 00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:32,561 So, uh, is this what you do on your weekends? 390 00:15:32,604 --> 00:15:34,998 You, you get your party on and hook up with 391 00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:36,782 much younger ladies and such? 392 00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,263 I couldn't sleep and I wanted pancakes. 393 00:15:39,307 --> 00:15:41,439 Gotcha. You know, my grandpa used to get up 394 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,441 in the middle of the night for a snack, too. 395 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:47,010 You're really hung up on this getting older thing, aren't you? 396 00:15:47,054 --> 00:15:49,839 Age is just a number, Kat. 397 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,319 Or to put it in a more philosophical way, 398 00:15:51,362 --> 00:15:54,409 you're only as old as your pee stream. 399 00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,585 Well, just so you know, Birdie said she's hanging out 400 00:15:56,628 --> 00:15:57,847 with a hot old guy. 401 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,285 -She said I was hot? -[laughs] 402 00:16:03,984 --> 00:16:07,030 Hey, are you okay seeing Max with another woman? 403 00:16:07,074 --> 00:16:09,641 Uh, totally fine. 404 00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,034 Okay, I'm just saying, 405 00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:12,993 because that other woman may be my cousin, 406 00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:15,082 but I will shut that down tight if you want me to. 407 00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,345 Normally I would say blood is thicker than friendship, 408 00:16:17,388 --> 00:16:19,042 but Birdie did steal my prom date, 409 00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:21,001 and we still working through that. 410 00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:25,266 I promise you it's okay. We're just friends. 411 00:16:25,309 --> 00:16:29,052 He has to live his life and I have to live mine. 412 00:16:29,096 --> 00:16:31,315 Oh, my gosh, that's the guy I punched. 413 00:16:31,359 --> 00:16:33,622 Really? Oh, he's cute. 414 00:16:33,665 --> 00:16:36,103 -What are you thinking? -Well... 415 00:16:36,146 --> 00:16:38,540 I'm thinking, as the young people might say, "YOLO," 416 00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,542 which is "you only live once." 417 00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:43,284 Don't want to have "FOMO," which is "fear of missing out." 418 00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:46,461 Let's not forgot Yo-Yo, a cellist of great renown. 419 00:16:46,504 --> 00:16:48,941 Girl, get over there. 420 00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:53,946 Well, hello. 421 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:56,123 No way. Hi. 422 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,863 In case you're wondering, I'm not stalking you. 423 00:16:57,907 --> 00:17:00,344 That's the first thing a stalker would say. 424 00:17:00,388 --> 00:17:01,824 But I'm actually really glad you're here. 425 00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:03,434 Also, you have dirt on your face. 426 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:07,003 Oh, um, yeah, I-I fell into a freshly dug grave. 427 00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:09,614 Another thing a stalker would say. 428 00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:15,925 She texts him at 4:00 a.m. and asks, 429 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,145 "Are you in the mood for pancakes?" 430 00:17:18,188 --> 00:17:20,060 He's not, but now he can't go back to sleep, 431 00:17:20,103 --> 00:17:22,453 so he drives over, but when he walks in the door 432 00:17:22,497 --> 00:17:26,501 he realizes he's still in his slippers. 433 00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:28,894 I kissed a guy tonight. 434 00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:31,767 Wow. Okay. 435 00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:36,293 -That's your reaction? "Okay"?! -I said "Wow." 436 00:17:36,337 --> 00:17:38,426 Ugh, I didn't really kiss a guy. 437 00:17:38,469 --> 00:17:40,906 Well, then, why did you say you did? 438 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,170 Don't you know that when your girlfriend goes out without you, 439 00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:44,867 you're supposed to act all jealous 440 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:46,521 and text her constantly throughout the night? 441 00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,044 How do you know I didn't track your every move 442 00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:49,176 through your phone? 443 00:17:49,219 --> 00:17:51,917 -Did you? -No. 444 00:17:51,961 --> 00:17:53,136 Ugh! 445 00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,443 Randi, hold up. 446 00:17:55,486 --> 00:17:58,010 I'm not sure what's happening. 447 00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,187 I've done unhealthy relationships, 448 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:01,840 and it sounds like you have, too. 449 00:18:01,884 --> 00:18:05,017 But if you need me to be jealous or controlling 450 00:18:05,061 --> 00:18:07,237 to recreate some familiar feeling from your past, 451 00:18:07,281 --> 00:18:09,761 then it's not gonna happen. 452 00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:13,113 Then, besides giving me control of the remote, 453 00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:14,592 how do I know you like me? 454 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:17,639 [chuckles] I drove here in my slippers. 455 00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:19,902 And I think about you all the time 456 00:18:19,945 --> 00:18:21,382 when we're not together. 457 00:18:21,425 --> 00:18:24,863 And I want you to move in with me, 458 00:18:24,907 --> 00:18:26,822 and I was trying to think of a cool way to ask you, 459 00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:29,520 but I wasn't sure if I was the flash mob type or not. 460 00:18:29,564 --> 00:18:33,350 And flash mob was the cool or uncool way? 461 00:18:33,394 --> 00:18:35,222 Can I take that as a yes? 462 00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:43,621 So I was thinking, you're about to turn 30. 463 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,188 I've already been 30. 464 00:18:45,232 --> 00:18:47,103 Maybe we could go out sometime 465 00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:50,498 and I could give you some life spoiler alerts. 466 00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:53,022 Okay, let's do it. 467 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,023 Really? 468 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,634 Yay. 469 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,158 Okay. That's great. 470 00:18:58,201 --> 00:18:59,942 Boom! 471 00:18:59,985 --> 00:19:03,467 Wait, I don'’t have your number or know your name. 472 00:19:03,511 --> 00:19:07,036 But I do still have... [sings mini fanfare] 473 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,038 My keys. No way. 474 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,258 What a satisfying feeling to get something back 475 00:19:11,301 --> 00:19:13,390 you didn't even remember you lost. 476 00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:15,000 Yeah, the last club I couldn't find you, 477 00:19:15,044 --> 00:19:16,785 and then I went all around the parking lot 478 00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:18,743 pressing the lock button hoping to hear a "whoop-whoop." 479 00:19:18,787 --> 00:19:20,745 And then I realized you probably took a car service home. 480 00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:22,182 I took a car service, yeah. 481 00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,271 Anyway, uh, let me get your number. 482 00:19:24,314 --> 00:19:25,837 Yeah. Let me give it to you. 483 00:19:25,881 --> 00:19:28,100 Let me give it to you good. Whoop-whoop! 484 00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:33,932 Aha! 485 00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:37,240 We did it. We made it to sunrise. 486 00:19:37,284 --> 00:19:38,763 You know what this is? 487 00:19:38,807 --> 00:19:40,765 Me picking up the invisible gauntlet. 488 00:19:40,809 --> 00:19:44,682 Me holding it over my head and dancing around with it. 489 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:48,512 Fine, you both proved yourselves worthy of an all-nighter. 490 00:19:48,556 --> 00:19:50,558 Oh, I love how everything just came together, 491 00:19:50,601 --> 00:19:51,907 like in a movie. 492 00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:53,387 Oscar showed up at the diner. 493 00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:55,127 Daniel showed up at the diner. 494 00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:57,608 That tattoo truck pulled up just as we were leaving. 495 00:19:57,652 --> 00:20:00,611 And we commemorated the night with our matching tattoos. 496 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:04,267 -Ankles aweigh! -Oh, those are so cute! 497 00:20:04,311 --> 00:20:06,095 I wish I would've got one. 498 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,575 Wha... Phil, you did get one. 499 00:20:07,618 --> 00:20:09,490 You just fell asleep in the chair. 500 00:20:10,491 --> 00:20:12,710 PHIL: Well, where'd you come from, 501 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,843 -little kitty paw? -[laughing] 502 00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:17,454 You know, this makes us more than friends. 503 00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:18,934 This makes us like a gang. 504 00:20:18,977 --> 00:20:21,110 Like a badass kitty gang. 505 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,852 If you want to be a really badass kitty gang, 506 00:20:23,895 --> 00:20:26,202 we should keep it totally secret from everyone else 507 00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:28,073 and never talk about it again. 508 00:20:28,117 --> 00:20:31,990 -That is reallybadass. -[Randi laughs] 509 00:20:32,034 --> 00:20:34,558 The question is, how does a badass kitty gang 510 00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:35,690 stay awake during work? 511 00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:37,344 I feel like I'm gonna fall over. 512 00:20:37,387 --> 00:20:40,303 I call dibs on first nap. 513 00:20:40,347 --> 00:20:42,436 All right, I'll fire up the espresso machine. 514 00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:44,916 Better yet, I'll get us some coffee beans to chew on. 515 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:49,269 And I'll just relive last night over and over in my mind. 516 00:20:49,312 --> 00:20:51,923 -[chuckles] -["Man! I Feel like a Woman!" playing] 517 00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:54,883 ♪ Let's go, girls.♪ 518 00:20:54,926 --> 00:20:56,972 ♪ 519 00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:29,526 ♪