1 00:00:02,632 --> 00:00:04,329 Oh, hey. Welcome. 2 00:00:04,373 --> 00:00:06,331 I'm just video-chatting with Oscar. 3 00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:07,811 I met him at a club and I asked him out 4 00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,987 because a-that's how I roll. 5 00:00:10,031 --> 00:00:11,293 OSCAR [over phone]: Let me see your kitchen. 6 00:00:11,336 --> 00:00:13,382 Um, here we are. 7 00:00:13,425 --> 00:00:17,777 There's the fridge, the range. 8 00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:20,737 -Nice. -Yeah, and not to brag, but I own my own island. 9 00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:23,305 North side of the island's a pretty chill vibe, 10 00:00:23,348 --> 00:00:26,917 but on the south side of the island, people get crazy. 11 00:00:27,918 --> 00:00:29,180 [chuckles]: Very tropical. 12 00:00:29,224 --> 00:00:30,616 Where to next, my captain? 13 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:33,750 Ooh, let me show you my outdoor space. 14 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:35,447 [bird cooing] 15 00:00:35,491 --> 00:00:39,103 This is my favorite part of the apartment. 16 00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:41,453 -Nice view. -Yeah, it is a nice view. 17 00:00:41,497 --> 00:00:43,760 Sometimes I like to lean over and look down into my café. 18 00:00:43,803 --> 00:00:46,589 It makes me feel proud. Can you see the front? 19 00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,591 -Uh, not yet. -Oh. 20 00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:51,159 Um, can you see, there's, like, a... 21 00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:52,856 there's, like, a cat statue by the door? 22 00:00:52,899 --> 00:00:54,336 I can't quite tell. 23 00:00:54,379 --> 00:00:55,946 [grunts] Okay. Hang on. 24 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,513 Just... Whoa! 25 00:00:57,556 --> 00:00:59,080 -[soft thud] -[bird coos] 26 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:00,516 Oh, my gosh, are you okay? 27 00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:02,953 All good, landed on the awning. 28 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,129 Looking a bird dead in the eye. Freaking out a little bit. 29 00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:06,696 I can see it. Shoo, bird! 30 00:01:06,739 --> 00:01:08,263 Shoo, bird! 31 00:01:09,786 --> 00:01:11,831 ♪ 32 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:17,620 Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean 33 00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,839 you don't shower after you get out of the pool? 34 00:01:19,883 --> 00:01:21,798 Do you shower after you take a bath? 35 00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:23,800 I would if my bathtub was open to the public. 36 00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:26,150 I would if someone peed in my bathtub. 37 00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:27,760 Thanks for joining in. 38 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,154 See you Friday? Oh, 39 00:01:30,198 --> 00:01:32,113 and not to get you too excited, 40 00:01:32,156 --> 00:01:34,767 but I got you a little something for our six-month anniversary. 41 00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,595 Well, not to get you too excited, 42 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:39,381 but I got you a little something-something. 43 00:01:39,424 --> 00:01:41,905 Oh, two somethings? 44 00:01:41,948 --> 00:01:44,212 Yeah, I'm worth it. 45 00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:46,039 [laughs] Bye. 46 00:01:46,083 --> 00:01:47,954 Uh-oh. 47 00:01:47,998 --> 00:01:49,913 -What's wrong? -I didn't get him a something-something, 48 00:01:49,956 --> 00:01:51,262 I got him a nothing-nothing. 49 00:01:51,306 --> 00:01:52,785 Because who gives a gift 50 00:01:52,829 --> 00:01:54,352 for your six-month dating anniversary? 51 00:01:54,396 --> 00:01:56,311 It's sweet. He really likes you. 52 00:01:56,354 --> 00:01:58,400 Hmm, I just hope he's not one of those lame-ass people 53 00:01:58,443 --> 00:02:00,489 that also celebrates his half-birthday. 54 00:02:00,532 --> 00:02:02,143 Yeah, so lame. 55 00:02:02,186 --> 00:02:04,057 I'm not just saying that 'cause my half birthday 56 00:02:04,101 --> 00:02:06,364 falls on Christmas and no one ever remembers. 57 00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:09,411 Have you noticed that there's a big old sag 58 00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:11,064 in the awning? 59 00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:12,979 Oh, well, Phil, sometimes awnings have sags. 60 00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:14,851 It doesn't mean something happened. 61 00:02:14,894 --> 00:02:17,462 But it's a big old sag. Like a piano fell from the sky. 62 00:02:17,506 --> 00:02:18,811 Okay, Let it go, Phil. 63 00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:21,901 -[phone chimes] -Oh, goody. 64 00:02:21,945 --> 00:02:24,121 Oscar and I are on for tonight. 65 00:02:24,165 --> 00:02:26,297 -Ooh, what are you guys doing? -Just watching a movie at my place. 66 00:02:26,341 --> 00:02:28,560 Look at you, taking things to the next level. 67 00:02:28,604 --> 00:02:31,215 What level? Movie level? I-Is that a level? 68 00:02:31,259 --> 00:02:33,217 Well, nowadays, watching a movie on someone's couch 69 00:02:33,261 --> 00:02:35,785 is kind of code for definitely not 70 00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:37,830 watching a movie on someone's couch. 71 00:02:37,874 --> 00:02:40,703 Wait, what? I have never heard of that before. 72 00:02:40,746 --> 00:02:43,140 Yeah, it came as a surprise to me, too. 73 00:02:43,184 --> 00:02:46,535 Henry came over last week to watch Casablanca. 74 00:02:46,578 --> 00:02:51,235 By the time we got to the love scene, we were the love scene. 75 00:02:51,279 --> 00:02:53,890 And we played it again. 76 00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:57,154 Well, uh, this is just our first date. 77 00:02:57,198 --> 00:02:59,504 And-and I'm a "sex on the first date" virgin. 78 00:02:59,548 --> 00:03:01,811 Not a virgin-virgin, you know, just so you know. 79 00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:04,335 Uh, yeah, thank you for clearing that up. [chuckles] 80 00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:07,120 I'm changing it to dinner, out, at a restaurant, 81 00:03:07,164 --> 00:03:08,948 where they have a strict policy: you know, 82 00:03:08,992 --> 00:03:11,255 no shoes, no shirt, no sex. 83 00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:13,953 Okay, let's do a little thing. 84 00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:16,565 Imagine Oscar with no clothes on. 85 00:03:16,608 --> 00:03:17,914 How does that make you feel? 86 00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:19,132 Warm. 87 00:03:20,177 --> 00:03:22,832 Exactly. So why rule it out? 88 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:25,791 I just wasn't raised to move so quickly in relationships. 89 00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:28,272 My mother taught me to take it slow. 90 00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:30,666 ♪ If you give the man your milk♪ 91 00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,842 ♪ He won't want to buy the cow♪ 92 00:03:32,885 --> 00:03:37,281 ♪ And you'll make God cry.♪ 93 00:03:37,325 --> 00:03:39,631 That is some old-fashioned thinking. 94 00:03:39,675 --> 00:03:42,330 Sex isn't about rules, it's about chemistry. 95 00:03:42,373 --> 00:03:44,636 Hmm. I do like chemistry. 96 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,377 All those beakers and flasks. 97 00:03:46,421 --> 00:03:49,162 The Bunsen burner, the eyeball rinse. 98 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,209 Okay. Look, Kat, I'm just saying that 99 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:54,777 if things are going well, just don't rule it out. 100 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,170 'Cause I guarantee you, 29-year-old Oscar 101 00:03:57,214 --> 00:03:59,042 will definitely be thinking about it. 102 00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:00,391 I'm with Randi on this. 103 00:04:00,435 --> 00:04:02,001 You got to go for what you want. 104 00:04:02,045 --> 00:04:04,743 After all, you could walk outside tomorrow 105 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:06,745 and get hit by a meteor. 106 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:09,052 Maybe that's what happened to the awning. 107 00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:13,143 Hey, hey. Just here for my lunch. 108 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,884 Yeah, it'll be right out. 109 00:04:14,927 --> 00:04:16,842 Oh, I forgot to ask you, would you like sliced onions, 110 00:04:16,886 --> 00:04:19,323 diced onions, or caramelized onions with that veggie burger? 111 00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:20,977 Uh, no onions, thank you. 112 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,109 Yeah, that's not an option. 113 00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,024 I got a new produce vendor and those geniuses sent me 114 00:04:25,068 --> 00:04:27,549 a pallet of onions when I was only supposed to get a box. 115 00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:30,769 So you've found yourself in a bit of an onion pickle? 116 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:33,337 -Or maybe an onion jam? -[laughs] 117 00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,600 Am I laughing? I'm not laughing. 118 00:04:35,644 --> 00:04:36,949 They're not charging me for them, 119 00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:38,429 but they're not taking them back. 120 00:04:38,473 --> 00:04:40,213 Well, I'll take a box off your hands. 121 00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:42,694 I'll make my Grandma Silver's famous onion relish. 122 00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:44,174 Oh, I have a recipe for onion relish, too. 123 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,828 It's been in our family for generations. 124 00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,569 Much like dry elbows. 125 00:04:47,612 --> 00:04:50,398 Uh, might I suggest we jar relish together? 126 00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,400 I would relish that idea. How 'bout tonight? 127 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,011 Uh, I can't tonight. I have a-a thing tonight. 128 00:04:55,054 --> 00:04:56,142 A date. 129 00:04:56,186 --> 00:04:58,928 Oh. Oh, yeah? With who? 130 00:04:58,971 --> 00:05:01,626 Um, that guy Oscar. From the pancake place. 131 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,889 Remember that night we both met people? 132 00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:06,196 So, uh, what's going on with you and Birdie, by the way? 133 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,372 Oh, nothing. That was just pancakes. 134 00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:11,593 Yeah. With a lot of syrup. 135 00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,203 My bad. 136 00:05:14,204 --> 00:05:15,858 So, I'll, uh, text you 137 00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,468 about doing the relish thing. If that's okay? 138 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:19,296 Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay? 139 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,689 Are we okay? 140 00:05:20,732 --> 00:05:22,604 -Uh, yeah, of course we're okay. -Okay. 141 00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:23,996 I'll look forward to the text. 142 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,737 Oh! And here is my takeout, 143 00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:28,958 which I am going to take out, as the name implies. 144 00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,176 Have fun. 145 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,439 I mean, on your date. 146 00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:33,310 Not just eating your lunch. 147 00:05:33,354 --> 00:05:34,833 Yeah, that's what I assumed you meant. 148 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,052 You too, have fun. 149 00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:38,010 I will do my best. 150 00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:39,403 Dude, you're acting weird. 151 00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:41,840 -No, I'm not. -Yeah you are. 152 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,495 You're smile-talking. My son used to do that 153 00:05:44,539 --> 00:05:46,323 when I'd asked him if he used the potty. 154 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,978 Nine times out of ten, I'd find a turd on the floor. 155 00:05:49,021 --> 00:05:52,155 And I think it's because you got a little rejected there. 156 00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:55,245 And I don't think that tall handsome guy is used to that. 157 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,421 [scoffs] What are you talking about? 158 00:05:57,465 --> 00:05:59,858 You wanted to make relish. She wasn't available. 159 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,686 Seems like the tables have turned. 160 00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:04,297 Don't you have something to do in the back? 161 00:06:04,341 --> 00:06:06,169 And I would also like to point out that "making relish" 162 00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:08,345 sounds like a euphemism for sex. 163 00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:10,739 I've got a keen ear for such things. 164 00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:12,871 ♪ 165 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:16,266 ♪ It ain't my fault that I'm out here getting loose♪ 166 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,355 ♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose♪ 167 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:21,053 ♪ Gotta blame it on my juice, baby♪ 168 00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:24,317 -♪ It ain't my fault that I'm out here making news ♪ -Hey! 169 00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:26,319 ♪ I'm the pudding in the proof♪ 170 00:06:26,363 --> 00:06:28,539 ♪ Gotta blame it on my juice...♪ 171 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,849 [song stops] 172 00:06:33,892 --> 00:06:36,417 Seems like you're ready for your big date. 173 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,331 I just came up for an outfit check. 174 00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:40,203 Oh, you don't have to tell me I look good, because I know 175 00:06:40,246 --> 00:06:42,205 I look good. Do you know how I know? Because I feel good. 176 00:06:42,248 --> 00:06:45,382 I feel like Lizzo, Gloria Steinem and Marie Curie 177 00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:46,818 all rolled into one. 178 00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:48,472 Well, I think those women would have 179 00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:51,083 taken off their mustache tape by now. 180 00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:53,085 Oh, my gosh. I forgot I still had it on. 181 00:06:53,129 --> 00:06:56,393 I used to help my mama with hers at the end of every winter. 182 00:06:56,437 --> 00:06:58,482 It's only supposed to be on a few seconds. 183 00:06:58,526 --> 00:07:00,353 I just told you I forgot I had it on. 184 00:07:00,397 --> 00:07:01,616 Well, how long has it been? 185 00:07:01,659 --> 00:07:03,226 I don't know. 186 00:07:03,269 --> 00:07:05,184 I listened to that Lizzo song, like, six times. 187 00:07:05,228 --> 00:07:06,708 Six times! 188 00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:09,145 -I know what to do. -Ow. No. 189 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:10,538 You can't pull it off fast. 190 00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:11,800 Promise me you won't pull it fast. 191 00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:13,541 I won't pull it fast. 192 00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,499 Is this gonna be one of those things where you say 193 00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:16,935 you won't pull it off fast, but then you pull it off fast? 194 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,895 No, I promise. I won't pull it fast. 195 00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:21,505 Good, because I don't know where my skin ends 196 00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,638 and this thing begins. 197 00:07:24,726 --> 00:07:27,293 Oh! Oh, Phil! Oh... 198 00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:29,818 We both knew how this was gonna go down. 199 00:07:29,861 --> 00:07:31,341 We both knew. 200 00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:43,745 Everything okay? 201 00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:45,486 Uh-huh. 202 00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:47,226 That's just how I eat soup. 203 00:07:48,358 --> 00:07:52,101 No, actually, I... I need to tell you something. 204 00:07:52,144 --> 00:07:53,537 -Is it about your upper lip? -It's about my upper lip. 205 00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:55,931 Yeah. Um... 206 00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:59,543 I'm a mentor to a group of wayward girls. 207 00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:01,763 And I was teaching them how to toast marshmallows, 208 00:08:01,806 --> 00:08:03,416 and they were like, "Marshmallow fight!" 209 00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,549 And I was like, "No, that's dangerous." 210 00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:08,421 But they didn't listen, and an on-fire marshmallow... 211 00:08:08,465 --> 00:08:10,815 [pops lips] ...stuck to my face. 212 00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:12,600 Sorry about that. 213 00:08:12,643 --> 00:08:14,384 It actually looks like when my sisters would 214 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,692 wax their mustaches and leave the wax on too long. 215 00:08:17,735 --> 00:08:20,912 Or... that's exactly what happened. 216 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:24,263 And when I said that they would wax their mustaches, 217 00:08:24,307 --> 00:08:26,309 what I mean is that I would wax their mustaches 218 00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:28,311 because they were too afraid to pull it off themselves. 219 00:08:28,354 --> 00:08:30,095 [laughs] But you can't pull it off yourself. 220 00:08:30,139 --> 00:08:31,401 Like, your hand won't let you. 221 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,403 Yeah, that's what they said. 222 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,406 That's really sweet that you would do that for your sisters. 223 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,321 I'm actually an only child, which I always hated, 224 00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:41,063 'cause there was no one to go first or learn anything from. 225 00:08:41,106 --> 00:08:42,325 You also didn't have anyone constantly 226 00:08:42,368 --> 00:08:44,022 getting in your business. 227 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:47,373 My sisters keep texting me asking how this is going. 228 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:49,854 [chuckles] Good question. 229 00:08:49,898 --> 00:08:52,596 So, how is it going? 230 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,424 I think it's going great. 231 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,122 By the way, I've never had a woman ask me out before. 232 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,603 Couple of dudes, but never a woman. 233 00:08:59,647 --> 00:09:02,650 Well, I want to hear those stories, so hold that thought. 234 00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:06,262 Because right now, this woman is going to the woman's room. 235 00:09:06,305 --> 00:09:07,480 [chuckles] 236 00:09:07,524 --> 00:09:10,005 Oh! Oh! Sorry. 237 00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:11,833 -Sorry. Sorry about that. -Oh, here... 238 00:09:11,876 --> 00:09:15,576 -Thank you. Thank you. -Sorry. 239 00:09:18,535 --> 00:09:20,668 This reminds me of when we met and you punched me. 240 00:09:20,711 --> 00:09:22,147 Yeah. [chuckles] 241 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,325 Okay on your lip? 242 00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:28,414 Um... 243 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,981 you'll have to do it again to see. 244 00:09:30,025 --> 00:09:31,635 Like, right now. 245 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:32,854 Like, do it. 246 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:41,210 From here on out, you can address me as Queen Randi, 247 00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:43,516 Ruler of Dope Gifts 248 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,475 for Dope Boyfriends. 249 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,955 Good evening, Your Majesty. 250 00:09:46,998 --> 00:09:49,174 We are not worthy. 251 00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:52,525 [laughs] I paid my brother to stand in line for four hours 252 00:09:52,569 --> 00:09:53,918 for these new release sneakers. 253 00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:55,703 And not that gift-giving is a competition, 254 00:09:55,746 --> 00:09:57,879 but I just won. 255 00:09:57,922 --> 00:10:00,751 Ooh! Well, those are fly. Can I be your boyfriend next? 256 00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:02,361 Uh, no. 257 00:10:02,405 --> 00:10:05,277 Damn. These are my size. And my style. 258 00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:07,366 Hey, don't drool on Daniel's shoes. 259 00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:10,152 You cannot give those shoes to your man. 260 00:10:10,195 --> 00:10:11,632 Randi, have you not heard the saying, 261 00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:13,721 "If you give your lover shoes, 262 00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:15,723 they'll use them to walk away"? 263 00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:18,421 I have not heard that saying. But I have heard the saying, 264 00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:19,857 "Step on a crack, break your mama's back." 265 00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:22,077 So does that mean you don't step on cracks? 266 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,687 Funny thing about that, I actually 267 00:10:23,731 --> 00:10:25,776 -went to school with a guy... -No, uh-uh. 268 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,126 Well, I've never heard the shoe thing, but now that I think 269 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,911 about it, the last gift that I gave Stephanie before 270 00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:32,696 she asked for a separation was a pair of espadrilles. 271 00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,307 Well the receipt says "non-refundable" 272 00:10:35,351 --> 00:10:36,874 and "superstitions aren't real," 273 00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:39,790 so my boo is gonna be kickin' it in his new kicks. 274 00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:42,358 ♪ And he will walk 500 miles♪ 275 00:10:42,401 --> 00:10:45,970 ♪ Just to get away from your front door.♪ 276 00:10:46,014 --> 00:10:47,406 Give me those. 277 00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:48,973 I don't really believe that, I just 278 00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:50,453 thought of the song and wanted to sing it. 279 00:10:50,496 --> 00:10:52,237 Mm-hmm. 280 00:10:52,281 --> 00:10:54,587 -[vocalizing "I'm Gonna Be [500 Miles]"] -Oh! 281 00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:57,895 [vocalizing continues] 282 00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:09,472 So... 283 00:11:09,515 --> 00:11:11,604 did we kiss while merging onto the freeway? 284 00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:12,910 We did. 285 00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:14,390 -Was that safe? -I don't know. 286 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:15,913 I had my eyes closed. 287 00:11:15,957 --> 00:11:17,219 [laughs] 288 00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:20,744 Um, so... 289 00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:24,792 I just want you to know that, um... 290 00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:26,184 I'm feeling really good. 291 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,272 Me, too. 292 00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:28,883 Like we have chemistry. 293 00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:30,232 Same. 294 00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,755 So... 295 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,323 I'm totally on board for first-date sex. 296 00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,195 [voice squeaks]: Uh... okay. 297 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,980 I-I mean, like, if you are. 298 00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:41,199 I just thought, like, guys think about sex all the time. 299 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,374 No. 300 00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:43,941 We think about other stuff, too. 301 00:11:43,985 --> 00:11:45,856 But now I'm just thinking about sex. 302 00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:48,685 Great. Let me, uh... 303 00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:50,382 show you to the bedroom. 304 00:11:55,518 --> 00:11:58,129 Hey, beautiful. What took you so long? 305 00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:02,743 You know, actually, I... I might like to walk off dinner. 306 00:12:02,786 --> 00:12:05,049 I like to do a full circle around the living room 307 00:12:05,093 --> 00:12:06,703 before entering the bedroom. 308 00:12:06,747 --> 00:12:08,357 You know, get the, uh, get the old blood pumping 309 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,315 before we get the blood pumping. 310 00:12:10,359 --> 00:12:12,535 Are you having second thoughts? Because we can totally wait. 311 00:12:12,578 --> 00:12:14,537 [chuckles]: No. I'm fine, I'm fine. 312 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:15,973 Just give me a minute. 313 00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:18,497 I'm gonna freshen up, as ladies do. 314 00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:20,325 No problem. I'll, uh, be out here, 315 00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:23,589 looking at my phone, as... men do. 316 00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:27,376 You saw Max in my bedroom as well, right? 317 00:12:27,419 --> 00:12:28,899 Okay. 318 00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:34,687 Okay, you need to get it together, lady. 319 00:12:34,731 --> 00:12:36,428 You are way into Oscar, 320 00:12:36,472 --> 00:12:38,648 so it makes no sense that you should be thinking about Max 321 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,737 at a time like this. 322 00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:43,131 SHEILA: ♪ If you give the man your milk♪ 323 00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:46,003 ♪ He won't want to buy the cow.♪ 324 00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:47,439 Mother, get out of here. 325 00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:49,659 There is no point in these crazy thoughts. 326 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,661 Max's heart will forever belong to me. 327 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,968 Go play with your cute Oscar boy. 328 00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,578 Who are you? 329 00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:57,101 Oh, this is Max's ex-girlfriend Brigitte, 330 00:12:57,145 --> 00:12:58,407 who lives in my mind. 331 00:12:58,450 --> 00:12:59,887 She makes me nuts, 332 00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:00,931 but I'm also trying to learn from her. 333 00:13:00,975 --> 00:13:02,324 I'm with you, Kat. 334 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:03,760 I would hold out indefinitely for me. 335 00:13:03,804 --> 00:13:05,414 You know, just in case. 336 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:07,720 'Cause... it's me. 337 00:13:07,764 --> 00:13:08,983 [knocking] 338 00:13:09,026 --> 00:13:10,462 OSCAR: Everything okay in there? 339 00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:11,986 Uh, yeah. Be right out. 340 00:13:12,029 --> 00:13:13,552 Not doing anything weird in here. 341 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:14,989 Just, uh, brushing my teeth. 342 00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:16,947 Then you're gonna need this. 343 00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:19,863 Carter, why are you here? 344 00:13:19,907 --> 00:13:21,952 To point out that you do make a lot of excuses to come over 345 00:13:21,996 --> 00:13:24,172 to the bar in the middle of the day to hang out with Max. 346 00:13:24,215 --> 00:13:25,826 Good point. 347 00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:27,828 No, I don't. 348 00:13:27,871 --> 00:13:31,092 Oh. So it's to hang out with me, then? 349 00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:35,574 [exhales] 350 00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,447 You are an optimistic human woman 351 00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,884 who has the opportunity to have some intimate fun 352 00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:42,930 with your cute Oscar boy. 353 00:13:42,973 --> 00:13:45,062 Don't mess this up. 354 00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:46,542 [exhales] 355 00:13:49,675 --> 00:13:51,634 I'm ready. [chuckles] 356 00:13:51,677 --> 00:13:53,766 [sighs, chuckles] 357 00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:55,768 Let's do this, Max. 358 00:13:56,813 --> 00:13:58,641 Who's Max? 359 00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:00,164 I'm sorry, what? 360 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:03,037 ♪ 361 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,518 It's the jalapeño that gives it the unexpected kick. 362 00:14:07,519 --> 00:14:08,825 Cool. 363 00:14:08,869 --> 00:14:10,087 Are you okay? 364 00:14:10,131 --> 00:14:11,654 Uh-huh. 365 00:14:11,697 --> 00:14:13,699 How was the date? 366 00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:15,310 Uh... 367 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:17,007 Something happen? 368 00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:18,661 Kind of. 369 00:14:18,704 --> 00:14:20,750 Something good? 370 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,404 Not really. 371 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:26,625 You know, actually, you might have a take on this. 372 00:14:26,669 --> 00:14:28,192 Maybe. Lay it on me. 373 00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:29,933 Well, uh... 374 00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:33,110 Oscar and I were having a lovely dinner, and... 375 00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:35,983 then we came back here, things were getting kind of steamy, 376 00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:38,202 and I went to say his name and... 377 00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,639 accidentally called him something else. 378 00:14:40,683 --> 00:14:42,946 Something offensive? 379 00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,382 No. Just... 380 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:45,775 another name. 381 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,081 A guy's name. 382 00:14:47,124 --> 00:14:48,778 That was not his. 383 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,345 Oh, boy. Yeah, I could see how that 384 00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:51,955 would throw a little water on the campfire. 385 00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:54,436 [chuckles] Could've used a little water. 386 00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:57,221 Could see the smoke coming off his shoes as he ran out of here. 387 00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:01,747 So... whose name was it? 388 00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:04,141 I'm not telling you. That's not important. 389 00:15:04,185 --> 00:15:05,926 That part doesn't matter. 390 00:15:05,969 --> 00:15:07,492 Was it mine? 391 00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:09,059 What?! 392 00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:10,408 Well, otherwise you would've just told me. 393 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,583 No! Gosh. 394 00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:13,716 You can be such a narcissist. 395 00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:16,284 [chuckles] It was yours. 396 00:15:16,327 --> 00:15:18,416 Okay. 397 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,896 I mean, I'm sure you're freaked out. 398 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:21,158 If you want to leave, that's fine. 399 00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:22,638 You know, men seem to love 400 00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:24,335 just running out of my apartment lately. 401 00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,859 I'm not freaked out. I mean, I'm also not comfortable 402 00:15:26,903 --> 00:15:29,427 with the way you're waving that knife around. 403 00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:32,169 Kat, I'm sorry that that happened. 404 00:15:32,213 --> 00:15:33,823 But I'm glad that you told me. 405 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,825 I mean, it actually kind of makes sense 406 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,609 that you would say my name at a time like that. 407 00:15:37,653 --> 00:15:39,437 -Really? -Yeah. 408 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,874 Look, you're with this new guy who you liked, 409 00:15:41,918 --> 00:15:43,920 but maybe, on a deeper level, 410 00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:46,444 you want to be with somebody who you know really well, 411 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,011 somebody you trust. 412 00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:51,754 Like me. 413 00:15:51,797 --> 00:15:53,974 You're so right. 414 00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:56,977 It had nothing to do with you. 415 00:15:57,020 --> 00:16:00,110 It had to do with how well I know you. 416 00:16:00,154 --> 00:16:01,807 I am not a sex-on-the-first-date kind of person. 417 00:16:01,851 --> 00:16:03,418 I need to take a step back with Oscar 418 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,810 and just get to know him better. 419 00:16:04,854 --> 00:16:07,074 I'm gonna go call him right now. 420 00:16:07,117 --> 00:16:08,597 -Max? -Yeah? 421 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,815 Thank you so much. 422 00:16:09,859 --> 00:16:11,643 It's just, it's really nice 423 00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:13,863 to be able to share this stuff with you. 424 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,953 I'll tell you exactly what he said after we talk. 425 00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:20,000 Glad I could help. 426 00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:26,484 ♪ 427 00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:30,662 -What's wrong with her? -I don't know. 428 00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:32,708 She's been like that for two minutes. 429 00:16:32,751 --> 00:16:35,189 I was about to start dusting her. 430 00:16:35,232 --> 00:16:36,929 Randi, are you okay? 431 00:16:36,973 --> 00:16:38,235 Uh... 432 00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,802 I just don't know what to do. 433 00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:41,717 I was on my way to give Daniel his gift, 434 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,458 but now I have it stuck in my head 435 00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:45,286 that if I give him shoes, that's bad luck. 436 00:16:45,329 --> 00:16:47,549 Oh, yeah, you can't give him shoes-- he'll walk away. 437 00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:49,942 It's just a silly superstition. 438 00:16:49,986 --> 00:16:52,206 Or, as I call it, a "shoe-perstition." 439 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,643 Okay, was going for a smile there. 440 00:16:54,686 --> 00:16:56,210 It didn't work. 441 00:16:56,253 --> 00:16:57,907 Well, I don't believe in shoe-perstitions, 442 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,301 or superstitions, but Daniel and I 443 00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,085 are about to move in together. 444 00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:04,305 So what if I move in with him, and then all of a sudden 445 00:17:04,348 --> 00:17:06,046 we start fighting all the time? 446 00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:07,960 And then I start going through his phone, 447 00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:09,397 finding all these texts from this woman that he works with, 448 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,007 but they don't sound like work texts. 449 00:17:11,051 --> 00:17:13,314 And then all of a sudden I'm sitting around going, 450 00:17:13,357 --> 00:17:15,881 "I shouldn't have given him them damn shoes." 451 00:17:15,925 --> 00:17:17,535 Then do not give him those shoes. 452 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,364 In fact, burn them and throw the ashes in the river 453 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:23,802 and wash that bad juju out of your life. 454 00:17:23,846 --> 00:17:26,022 Okay, Phil. 455 00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:28,068 Yeah, let's just take shoes out of the equation. 456 00:17:28,111 --> 00:17:29,634 We'll find another present. 457 00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:31,201 Uh, hey. 458 00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:33,290 Buttons' skin condition just cleared up. 459 00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:35,118 He's ready for adoption. 460 00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:37,120 Come on, cats fix everything. 461 00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:39,209 [high-pitched]: Happy six-month anniversary, Daniel! 462 00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:42,082 [chuckles] Look, I'm already wrapped-- in fur! 463 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,867 -Oh, honey, she is not amused. -No. 464 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:46,956 ♪ 465 00:17:48,175 --> 00:17:50,133 [imitates cheering crowd, laughs] 466 00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:52,396 Hey, uh, thanks for being so understanding 467 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,919 about the Max thing. 468 00:17:53,963 --> 00:17:55,443 We're just, we're really good friends. 469 00:17:55,486 --> 00:17:56,966 You'd probably actually get along well. 470 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,099 I'm sure we would... Donna. 471 00:17:59,142 --> 00:18:00,491 Oh. Ha-ha! 472 00:18:00,535 --> 00:18:02,406 I see what you did there, Oscar. 473 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:03,886 Wait. I don't know your middle name. 474 00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:05,192 Do you have a middle name? 475 00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:06,410 Bruno. 476 00:18:06,454 --> 00:18:08,412 Oscar Bruno Martinez. 477 00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:10,675 Katherine Edith Silver. 478 00:18:10,719 --> 00:18:12,634 See, that's what I wanted. 479 00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:14,636 Just, like, a... like, a sex-free chance... 480 00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,681 to get to know each other better. 481 00:18:16,725 --> 00:18:19,423 That sounds like a good plan, because I really like you. 482 00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:21,773 Oh. Not sure how much you're gonna like me 483 00:18:21,817 --> 00:18:23,906 when I wipe the floor with you. 484 00:18:23,949 --> 00:18:26,648 Not gonna lie, it's hot when you talk trash. 485 00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:28,693 Oh, really? Would it be hot if I said 486 00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:31,000 you should stay off the court and stick to dancing around 487 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,176 in your little mascot costume? 488 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,830 That is, like, really, really sexy. 489 00:18:34,873 --> 00:18:36,484 It's a little hurtful, but it's sexy. 490 00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:38,355 [laughs] 491 00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:39,487 Is it gonna be sexy if I try and steal the ball from you? 492 00:18:45,014 --> 00:18:46,929 Wait, is kissing allowed while we're getting 493 00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,583 -to know each other? -[laughs] Absolutely. 494 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,020 Oh. 495 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,588 Oh, I see. You're deceptive and sneaky. 496 00:18:53,631 --> 00:18:55,198 I'm learning new things about you. 497 00:18:57,287 --> 00:18:58,549 [whoops] 498 00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,994 Happy six month anniversary. 499 00:19:09,038 --> 00:19:10,344 This... 500 00:19:10,387 --> 00:19:11,693 is for you. 501 00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,564 Ooh. [chuckles] 502 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:15,871 Onions. 503 00:19:15,914 --> 00:19:17,568 Kind of weird. 504 00:19:17,612 --> 00:19:19,222 Kind of like something you get somebody as a gift 505 00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:20,919 during the Great Depression. 506 00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:22,921 Well, it's symbolic for relationships. 507 00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,359 You keep peeling back the layers to get what you need, 508 00:19:25,402 --> 00:19:27,404 and they get sweeter when you heat them up. 509 00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:29,798 And I also brought some eggs, 510 00:19:29,841 --> 00:19:31,713 cream and mushrooms, because I'm gonna make you 511 00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:34,194 a mean onion frittata tomorrow morning. 512 00:19:34,237 --> 00:19:37,849 Because after tonight, you're gonna be hungry. 513 00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:39,982 I was skeptical at first, but I'm coming around 514 00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:41,636 -to this onion gift. -[laughs] 515 00:19:41,679 --> 00:19:43,681 -I got you a little something, too. -Oh. 516 00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,381 Sneakers? 517 00:19:47,424 --> 00:19:49,948 My mom used to say, "Give your lover shoes, 518 00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:52,168 they'll forever walk by your side." 519 00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:54,779 It's kind of hard to hear your mama use the word "lover," 520 00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:57,347 But I always liked the sentiment. 521 00:19:57,391 --> 00:20:00,263 Me, too. I can't wait to share it with my friends. 522 00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:02,787 -[chuckles] -Thank you. 523 00:20:04,311 --> 00:20:06,922 You know what? I am gonna send them a picture 524 00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:10,186 of these right now. [laughs] 525 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:13,537 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪ 526 00:20:13,581 --> 00:20:16,540 ♪ And I would walk 500 more♪ 527 00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:18,020 ♪ Just to be the man♪ 528 00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:21,197 ♪ Who walked a thousand miles♪ 529 00:20:21,241 --> 00:20:23,330 ♪ To fall down at your door...♪ 530 00:20:23,373 --> 00:20:25,723 Here are your chicken wings. 531 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,551 They look like onion rings. 532 00:20:27,595 --> 00:20:30,075 Fried food is fried food. 533 00:20:31,207 --> 00:20:33,209 He's right. 534 00:20:33,253 --> 00:20:35,516 We'll just dip them in something. 535 00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:40,651 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪ 536 00:20:40,695 --> 00:20:44,307 ♪ And I would walk 500 more♪ 537 00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:48,355 ♪ Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles♪ 538 00:20:48,398 --> 00:20:50,531 Now, don't be jealous. They're just friends. 539 00:20:50,574 --> 00:20:52,794 The only thing I'm jealous of is his shoes. 540 00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,622 DANIEL: I know. 541 00:20:54,665 --> 00:20:56,450 Those are dope. I've been trying to get a pair, 542 00:20:56,493 --> 00:20:58,060 but I can't find them anywhere. 543 00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:01,368 Well, I guess you just weren't meant to have them. 544 00:21:01,411 --> 00:21:03,761 [Kat and Max vocalizing] 545 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,762 ♪ Yeah♪ 546 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,460 [vocalizing] 547 00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:12,988 ♪ But I would walk♪ 548 00:21:13,031 --> 00:21:15,643 ♪ 500 miles♪ 549 00:21:15,686 --> 00:21:18,602 ♪ And I would walk 500 more♪ 550 00:21:18,646 --> 00:21:21,257 ♪ Just to be the man who walked♪ 551 00:21:21,301 --> 00:21:22,998 ♪ A thousand miles♪ 552 00:21:23,041 --> 00:21:24,608 ♪ To fall down♪ 553 00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:27,655 [tempo slowing]: ♪ At your door...♪