1
00:00:03,729 --> 00:00:05,245
Wait, what the hell?
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,914
Why are you wearing somebody's
old-ass tablecloth?
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,901
Oscar's coming over
and I broke his heart.
4
00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:14,421
So I feel like, as the dumper,
I owe it to the injured party,
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,241
i.e. the dumpee,
to not flaunt my feminine wiles
6
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:19,334
in this, his time of need.
7
00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:21,186
Well, mission accomplished.
8
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:23,080
Why do you even own that?
9
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:25,173
It was ten years ago,
it was an art fair,
10
00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:27,267
I was probably
high on kettle corn.
11
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,529
Wait, is all that Oscar's?
You know the move here
12
00:00:30,756 --> 00:00:32,013
is to sell what you can
and throw the rest
13
00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:33,532
of that crap in the river.
14
00:00:33,759 --> 00:00:35,092
Oh, great. So, then
I'll be home, watching the news,
15
00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:36,684
and they'll be dragging
a dead body from the river
16
00:00:36,762 --> 00:00:38,779
and it'll be wearing
Oscar's Imagine Dragons T-shirt?
17
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:40,039
How will I feel then?
18
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:43,600
-Wait, isn't this your tablet?
-Oh, yeah,
19
00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:45,769
but Oscar used to play
Grand Theft Auto on it.
20
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,196
I thought beating up pimps
might be good for him right now.
21
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:51,108
Fine, but he is not getting
these brownies that you made.
22
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:53,052
No, they're chocolate
scotcheroos, his favorite.
23
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,537
You're giving him
a damn breakup gift basket.
24
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,281
You think I should
skip all this and just
25
00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:58,632
read him the haiku I wrote?
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,042
Do not-- I repeat, do not--
27
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,728
read Oscar a haiku.
28
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:03,896
You haven't even heard it...
29
00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:05,972
-No, oh, eh!
-(knocking)
30
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,068
Haikus and scotcheroos.
Crazy person.
31
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,574
Hey.
32
00:01:15,725 --> 00:01:17,993
Hey, come on in.
33
00:01:20,973 --> 00:01:22,748
Here. This is all your stuff.
34
00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,416
Okay, right to it.
(chuckles)
35
00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:28,328
Lemon-scented and ForceFlex.
Bougie.
36
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,314
(chuckles)
37
00:01:30,407 --> 00:01:31,406
That mine?
38
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,166
Yeah. And-and
a few extra things, too.
39
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,410
I-I thought you should have
custody of our shared
40
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:38,246
froyo punch card. Two more
and you get a free sundae.
41
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,582
Premium toppings excluded.
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,008
Okay.
43
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,343
And in your email
you'll be finding a link
44
00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:45,345
to a Spotify breakup playlist.
45
00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:47,255
80 minutes of songs
that speak to
46
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,607
where your heart is right now.
47
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,258
How much of it is Adele?
48
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,093
Well, I think the right amount.
49
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,670
So, all of it.
50
00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:54,929
(chuckles)
51
00:01:55,023 --> 00:01:56,006
Okay.
52
00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:58,508
-Oscar, can we talk?
-About what?
53
00:01:58,602 --> 00:02:00,619
Well, you-you know
I feel horrible
54
00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:02,604
about how this went down.
55
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,606
You feel horrible?
56
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,533
I had to bring back
an engagement ring.
57
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,293
The guy looked at me
like I was some kind of loser
58
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,354
who got his proposal shot down.
59
00:02:10,372 --> 00:02:13,715
You know why?
'Cause I am.
60
00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:18,044
Love, big, and gorgeous,
61
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,047
a bear's life in the forest,
62
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,625
now, hibernation.
63
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,727
Goodbye.
64
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:30,724
(door closes)
65
00:02:30,876 --> 00:02:33,877
Oscar heartbroken,
66
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:37,047
art fair kettle corn yummy,
67
00:02:37,065 --> 00:02:39,474
play, sad playlist,
68
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,243
play.
69
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,663
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
70
00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:48,000
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
71
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,339
This goes out to all
the broken hearts out there.
72
00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:56,991
And all the breakers
of those hearts.
73
00:02:57,753 --> 00:03:00,828
And to you, cookie dough
ice cream, because you...
74
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,140
are the real hero today.
75
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,578
♪ I've been alone with you ♪
76
00:03:08,747 --> 00:03:11,673
♪ Inside my mind ♪
77
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:15,510
♪ And in my dreams
I've kissed your lips ♪
78
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,178
♪ A thousand times ♪
79
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:19,198
♪ I sometimes see you
80
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:23,577
♪ Pass outside my door ♪
81
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,707
♪ Hello ♪
82
00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:32,102
♪ Is it me you're looking for? ♪
83
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:35,196
Yes, it is,
'cause we're concerned.
84
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,291
Why? I'm great. I'm great. Ah.
85
00:03:38,444 --> 00:03:39,718
Are you sure? Because
you took your lunch break
86
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:43,447
three hours ago and now
you are shotgunning boxed wine
87
00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,373
like you just
got into Sigma Chi.
88
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,393
I hate seeing you so upset.
89
00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:50,378
There, there.
90
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,898
Ah, the comfort
of a mother's touch.
91
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:54,566
Brought you a sandwich
and fries. Why don't you
92
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:58,570
have some of this
and a little less peach moscato?
93
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:00,981
I don't deserve fries.
Fries are for good people,
94
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:04,468
like Oscar or Jesus
or Savannah Guthrie.
95
00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:05,652
With those abs,
96
00:04:05,804 --> 00:04:08,655
there's no way Jesus ate fries.
97
00:04:09,658 --> 00:04:11,808
Randy, did I just throw away
my only chance at love
98
00:04:11,901 --> 00:04:13,643
and now I'm destined
to die alone?
99
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:16,571
Probably. There, there.
100
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:19,073
Can you pat me with the hand
that doesn't have rings on it?
101
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,668
Oh, I'm sorry,
that's my wedding ring.
102
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,987
I guess you wouldn't understand.
103
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:29,101
Oh, Kat, it-it's time to
stop feeling sorry for yourself.
104
00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:31,661
Get back on your feet
and live your life.
105
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,088
-How am I supposed to do that?
-Ooh! I don't know.
106
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,440
But maybe first take a shower,
107
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,943
because you smell like
cheap wine and sadness.
108
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,445
And just a kiss of B.O.
109
00:04:40,597 --> 00:04:42,764
Yeah, get out of the house.
Go get some dinner.
110
00:04:42,841 --> 00:04:45,025
You know, after that shower.
111
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:46,809
Well, who wants to have dinner
with me tonight?
112
00:04:46,811 --> 00:04:49,771
Oh, tonight? Nicole and I are
going on a riverboat cruise.
113
00:04:49,865 --> 00:04:51,531
Carter's working
and I have class.
114
00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:53,683
Sheila and I are going
to see Dolly Parton.
115
00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:54,868
But we could skip it.
116
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,521
Shut your stupid little mouth.
117
00:04:57,539 --> 00:04:58,705
I'm sorry,
118
00:04:58,874 --> 00:05:01,041
it's just... it's Dolly.
119
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,467
No, actually, this is better.
You know,
120
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,544
I need to get used
to being alone again.
121
00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:06,212
Yeah, I'll take myself
out to dinner.
122
00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:07,955
There you go. You spent
123
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,101
the first 40 years of your life
alone, you can do 40 more.
124
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:14,187
In a good way.
125
00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,633
Hi there.
Someone else joining you?
126
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,821
Nope, party of one.
Or should I say party of fun.
127
00:05:23,048 --> 00:05:25,549
Can I get you
something to drink?
128
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:26,641
Complimentary bread?
129
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,068
I'll take a martini
130
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,645
and bread that tells me
I'm pretty. (chuckles)
131
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,957
Complimentary? Wordpl...
I'll take the martini.
132
00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:41,247
Ooh.
133
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,343
Cloudy with a 20%
chance of rain tomorrow.
134
00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:47,012
Okay.
135
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:50,265
Software update?
Uh, yes, please. (chuckles)
136
00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:55,687
How you two doing tonight?
137
00:05:57,173 --> 00:05:59,006
I like your top.
Very Meghan Markle.
138
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,084
Thank you.
139
00:06:02,087 --> 00:06:03,587
Is that the risotto?
I was looking at that.
140
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:04,863
How's the mouth feel?
141
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:05,939
It's good.
142
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:08,575
Four stars from
my table-neighbor.
143
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,113
-Here you go.
-Thank you. Oh,
144
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,706
Oh, she forgot my bread.
Guess she's trying
145
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,875
to get her steps in. (chuckles)
146
00:06:17,102 --> 00:06:19,252
NICK:
Hey, Kitty Kat.
147
00:06:20,606 --> 00:06:21,621
Nick?
148
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,957
He owns the sandwich shop
down the street.
149
00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:25,959
So annoying,
so full of himself,
150
00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:28,628
so chiseled and buff.
Blech.
151
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,705
Eating by yourself?
152
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,558
-Uh, yes. Taking myself
on a little date.
-Hm.
153
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:36,970
I'll take lamest Friday night
for 500, Ken.
154
00:06:37,122 --> 00:06:38,638
Uncalled for.
155
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,641
For your information,
I'm having a lovely time, and...
156
00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:43,050
Why are you sitting down?
157
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:44,903
Well, 'cause I don't like
eating standing up. (chuckles)
158
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:46,554
Ooh, that a martini?
159
00:06:46,648 --> 00:06:48,815
Uh, it's my-tini.
160
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,391
My-tini?
161
00:06:50,485 --> 00:06:53,203
You know, that kind of wordplay
might be why you're alone.
162
00:06:56,475 --> 00:06:58,166
(door opens)
163
00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,310
What's up, baby?
164
00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:03,404
Oh, hey.
What-what are you doing here?
165
00:07:03,498 --> 00:07:06,073
In my home. Alone.
166
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:08,743
Oh, I spilled cherry syrup
on myself at the bar.
167
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,928
Max thought I got stabbed.
168
00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:11,488
That boy is so sheltered.
169
00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:14,290
I mean, I also yelled,
"Aah! I got stabbed!"
170
00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:16,826
Anyway, your place
is closer than mine,
171
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,103
so I came here to clean up.
172
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:19,438
Well, how did you get in?
173
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:20,830
Max gave me a key.
174
00:07:20,832 --> 00:07:22,015
Mm.
175
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:23,442
So, how was art history?
176
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:26,169
Oh, dull.
Two hours of impressionists--
177
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:27,595
it's blurry, we get it.
178
00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:31,116
Well, uh, maybe I can
help liven up your day.
179
00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:33,526
You want to, you know...
180
00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:35,996
(vocalizes funky tune)
181
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,349
Or you can vacuum that couch
182
00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:41,293
because you eat like
a first grader at story time.
183
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:44,779
What if we, uh...
(vocalizes funky tune)
184
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,614
(singsongy): right now?
185
00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:48,525
And then I'll vacuum after?
186
00:07:48,543 --> 00:07:50,026
Okay.
187
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,595
(both giggling)
188
00:07:53,532 --> 00:07:55,265
I'll vacuum now.
189
00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:59,961
So, yeah, Louisville Magazine
wants to do an article about me
190
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,721
calling me
the charcuterie cutie.
191
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,890
I mean, I didn't
come up with it,
192
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,208
but you can tweet me--
193
00:08:05,227 --> 00:08:08,394
@Charcuterie_QT.
194
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,046
I bet you a hundred bucks
this guy
195
00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:11,731
doesn't ask
a single thing about me.
196
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,493
So, what's going on with you?
How are things at the cat café?
197
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,903
Well, obviously,
I can't pay each of you $100.
198
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,665
But isn't what we have
better than money?
199
00:08:20,892 --> 00:08:22,650
Did you just ask about me?
200
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:24,652
Yeah. How's business?
201
00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,338
Good. I mean,
202
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,656
kind of thought by now
I'd be in a position
203
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,043
to buy my building, but I did
just get a new cat tree.
204
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:34,846
I'm just gonna smile and pretend
that that's not pathetic.
205
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,681
And I'm just gonna smile
and pretend like
206
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,408
you're not a giant douche.
207
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:42,428
I normally suck at comebacks,
but that was pretty good, right?
208
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,672
I am at most a medium douche.
But, hey,
209
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:47,008
buying your building
would be a good investment.
210
00:08:47,102 --> 00:08:49,419
Yeah. Just, I'm starting to
think about retirement.
211
00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:51,196
Plus, I could put a billboard
of myself on the roof
212
00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:54,424
that says, "Yo, Louisville,
I own this bitch."
213
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,927
By the way,
where's your boyfriend?
214
00:08:57,946 --> 00:09:00,187
Um, actually,
Oscar and I broke up.
215
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,781
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
216
00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:03,375
Hey, relationships are tough.
217
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,785
I thought I'd be on
my third wife by now.
218
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,771
You really think
three women would marry you?
219
00:09:07,789 --> 00:09:10,882
In my mind, one and three
are the same woman.
220
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:13,367
If I can fool her once,
I can fool her twice.
221
00:09:13,461 --> 00:09:14,611
(chuckles)
And wife number two
222
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:16,129
would just go back
to being the nanny.
223
00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:18,782
-Exactly.
-(laughs)
224
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,143
Wait, am I having a good time?
225
00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:27,974
I am having a good time.
226
00:09:28,143 --> 00:09:30,885
Rebound sex is awesome.
227
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,529
Excuse me.
228
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,247
Oh, dear.
229
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:46,492
This seemed like
such a good idea last night.
230
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,903
Nick.
231
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,463
Nick?
232
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:54,134
Still breathing.
233
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,653
Still beating.
234
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,722
Still taut and juicy.
235
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,101
Nick.
236
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:04,418
Nick!
237
00:10:04,512 --> 00:10:07,147
I'm new to casual sex.
Is this normal?
238
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,946
Yeah, hey, Randi, um...
239
00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:17,115
can you come up here
for a second?
240
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:18,950
Yeah, and if you've got 'em, um,
241
00:10:19,177 --> 00:10:21,102
bring jumper cables.
242
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:24,848
Well, look what
the Kat dragged in.
243
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:26,349
Ha, ha, ha, very clever.
244
00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,701
Can you holster your wit
and help me wake him?
245
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,019
Well, what did you do to him?
246
00:10:30,038 --> 00:10:32,113
I did all the, you know,
247
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,373
good sex stuff.
248
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,192
Which obviously
left him depleted.
249
00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:37,952
Or it was his sleeping pills.
250
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,379
It was the sex stuff.
251
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,805
Look, Kat, I'm all for you
252
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:43,642
getting your spice where
it's nice, but Nick-- really?
253
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,869
Trust me, I don't want
people to know. Just help me
254
00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:47,537
-get him to the shower.
-Okay.
255
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,481
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Does he have boxers on?
256
00:10:49,557 --> 00:10:50,707
'Cause I do not
want to start my day
257
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:52,525
with all that flopping at me.
258
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,528
We're good. Flopper in the cage.
259
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,566
-Okay, just... I'll get...
-All right. Okay.
260
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,828
-Okay. (grunts)
-Ooh.
261
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:05,905
Was he this heavy
when he was on top of you?
262
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,499
Actually, I was the one
who was on t...
263
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,517
-You know what, never mind.
Just go over there.
-Okay, okay.
264
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,152
-Got it?
-Got it.
265
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,487
-Three, two, one.
-(grunts)
266
00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:16,900
Oh. Uh...
-Oh, wait...
267
00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:21,070
Is this your first threesome?
268
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:22,422
Okay, new plan, new plan.
269
00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:23,515
We leave him a note
270
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:24,999
and I tell him
to go out the front door.
271
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:26,518
That way no one'll see him.
272
00:11:26,669 --> 00:11:28,019
Okay. That'll work.
273
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:30,522
But why does it
smell like stripper in here?
274
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:32,098
Oh, strawberry love oil.
275
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,599
My mom gives it to me
every Hanukkah.
276
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,585
It's kosher.
277
00:11:35,603 --> 00:11:37,195
(chuckles)
278
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:39,013
Hey Randi, can I get a coffee?
279
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,181
We're out.
280
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,941
You just gave some to that guy.
281
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,535
Oh, well, that guy
didn't give my boyfriend
282
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,203
a key to my apartment.
283
00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:47,372
Come on, it's not
that big a deal.
284
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:50,191
Aw, well, neither is
making your own damn coffee.
285
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,952
(sighs)
Phil, can I get a coffee?
286
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:56,548
Sorry, I'm team Randi.
She scares me.
287
00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,625
I got you. She doesn't scare me.
288
00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:02,220
But if she asks,
you got this out of the garbage.
289
00:12:02,371 --> 00:12:04,280
Hey, Sheila. How's it going?
290
00:12:04,299 --> 00:12:05,465
Oh, I was just accosted
291
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:08,634
by a pack of youths
begging for money.
292
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,563
Mother, those are Girl Scouts
selling cookies.
293
00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:14,691
Giving them a name
only legitimizes them.
294
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,235
How was your evening?
295
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:21,406
Fine. I-I took myself out,
it was fine.
296
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:23,057
What'd you do?
297
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,725
Just went to dinner.
298
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,744
And then what?
299
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,579
Why do you assume
there's a "then what"?
300
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,989
There was no "then what."
Back off, Max.
301
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,501
I am not impressed with
the customer service today.
302
00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:38,498
Uh, Kat?
303
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,983
Oh, oh, this is not good.
304
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,927
Hey Kitty Kat,
can I get a coffee to go?
305
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,098
Oh, my. It appears Ms. Silver
had a gentleman caller.
306
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,084
So there was a "then what."
307
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,012
Katharine, I didn't know
you had it in you.
308
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,515
Oh, she had it in her.
309
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,351
Um... (chuckles) what are-what
are you doing down here?
310
00:12:58,503 --> 00:12:59,885
Didn't you get my note?
311
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,447
Yeah, "Last night was great.
Please go out the front door."
312
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,174
Not this front door.
The front door to my apartment.
313
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,785
A-And I didn't write
"last night was great."
314
00:13:06,936 --> 00:13:07,860
I wrote "I had a great time."
315
00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:09,454
The sex was great, you know,
316
00:13:09,605 --> 00:13:12,123
and so what if the sex was
great? I deserve great sex.
317
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:13,666
Wrong front door, Nick!
318
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:23,693
Hey, baby. You want some eggs?
319
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,786
What are you doing here again?
320
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,047
I thought I'd squeeze in a nap
during my lunch break.
321
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:29,715
Why are you wearing my bonnet?
322
00:13:29,868 --> 00:13:33,369
Oh, I didn't bring my own.
I got to protect the gold.
323
00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:34,461
And my robe?
324
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,463
If I'm napping,
I'm taking my pants off.
325
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,058
Plus, this is buttery soft
and smells amazing.
326
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,151
How do you do that?
327
00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:42,879
I wash it.
But who let you in?
328
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,805
I did.
Max gave me the key, remember?
329
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,383
-Wh... I thought
you gave that back.
-Why would I do that?
330
00:13:47,402 --> 00:13:50,403
Because I am not ready for you
to have a key to my apartment.
331
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,738
What's the big deal?
You have the key to my heart.
332
00:13:52,891 --> 00:13:56,334
No. No, no, no, that was your
lame-ass Valentine's Day present
333
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,002
-because you forgot.
-(gasps)
334
00:13:58,154 --> 00:13:59,486
I got news for you:
335
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,673
your free massage coupons
just expired.
336
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,824
Carter, you can't just come
over here whenever you want.
337
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:06,994
-Well, why not?
-Because it's too much
like we're living together.
338
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,346
Oh, and I guess
that's a bad thing.
339
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:10,907
Look at yourself.
It's not a good thing.
340
00:14:11,076 --> 00:14:13,000
Fine. I'll go
drain my bubble bath,
341
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,020
blow out the candles
and leave.
342
00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:26,105
-Hey, Kat.
-What's going on?
343
00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:27,773
Can I get a double bourbon?
344
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,850
You know it's 2:00
in the afternoon.
345
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,777
I need a bartender, not a clock.
346
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,371
I don't know what's going on,
347
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:36,099
but this is not
a good day to be a man.
348
00:14:36,117 --> 00:14:37,709
-You okay?
-Yeah,
349
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:38,951
I'm sorry.
Just, life keeps
350
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,604
kicking me
right in my girl balls.
351
00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:43,106
Still upset about Oscar?
352
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:45,366
No. I mean, yes, but,
353
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,867
it's, uh... (clears throat)
354
00:14:46,961 --> 00:14:48,369
-talking about the other stuff.
-CARTER: Oh.
355
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,464
Is this about
you and Nick getting busy?
356
00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:53,132
Did you tell him?
357
00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:56,452
Kat, come on, I care about you,
I wouldn't do that.
358
00:14:56,471 --> 00:14:58,287
Your mother did.
359
00:14:58,306 --> 00:14:59,639
So what do I do about Nick?
360
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,882
It was a one-night stand.
You do the same thing I did
361
00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:03,884
when I hooked up with
your roommate in college.
362
00:15:03,978 --> 00:15:05,570
That happened more than once.
363
00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:07,071
God, I miss college.
364
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:08,907
Yeah.
I never went to college.
365
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:11,409
But I had a lot
of one-night stands.
366
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,245
Well, I have never had one
before. What happens next?
367
00:15:14,472 --> 00:15:16,139
Nothing. You've done
everything and everyone
368
00:15:16,157 --> 00:15:17,916
that needed to be done.
369
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,475
CARTER:
Yeah. You had your fun.
370
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,144
Now you just got to hope
it isn't too awkward
371
00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:23,630
at your son's next
parent-teacher conference.
372
00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:26,666
Well, I'm gonna
see him all the time.
373
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,835
Like, what do I do
if he wants more of this?
374
00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:32,096
Sex moves.
375
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:38,252
Hey, Brutus. Looking handsome.
376
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,437
Keep up the good work.
377
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,997
Oh, what about me?
I'm handsome. I do good work.
378
00:15:41,015 --> 00:15:42,089
I've been told.
379
00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:44,016
By you. Last night.
380
00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:46,002
Three times.
381
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,837
Damn these sex moves.
382
00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:51,174
Yeah, that's kind of what
I wanted to talk to you about.
383
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:52,675
Talk away, Kitty Kat.
384
00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:55,178
Um, well, last night was fun,
385
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:57,271
but it was kind of
a low point for me.
386
00:15:57,365 --> 00:15:59,606
Like, this is forgetting
to wear a bra
387
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,517
on seventh grade picture day,
and then
388
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:05,021
this is you,
like, way down here,
389
00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:06,372
below clogging the toilet
390
00:16:06,524 --> 00:16:08,615
at Captain Darby's
Shrimp Boat after prom.
391
00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,451
Wow, awesome stories.
392
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,470
You should
go tell 'em on TikTok.
393
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:15,473
Um, uh, yeah, so, I just
wanted to make it clear
394
00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:18,309
that, uh, last night
was a-a one-time thing.
395
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:19,869
Okay.
396
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:21,312
You know, hit it and quit it.
397
00:16:21,389 --> 00:16:22,555
Yep.
398
00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:23,815
Hump 'em and dump 'em.
399
00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:24,816
I got it.
400
00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,317
Sex-it and ex-it.
401
00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:28,544
Yes, I'm familiar
with how one-night stands work.
402
00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:30,046
Okay, good, I'm just
not in the headspace right now
403
00:16:30,139 --> 00:16:31,214
to take a lover.
404
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:33,807
Wow, "headspace
to take a lover."
405
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:37,662
(English accent):
So, Lady Chatterly's
closed her bedchambers, then?
406
00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:39,313
I'll see you around, Nick.
407
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,557
(regular accent):
Hey, you want to have
breakup sex
408
00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:43,984
on a giant wheel of parmesan
cheese in the back?
409
00:16:44,078 --> 00:16:45,561
What is wrong with you?
410
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:48,506
How does he know
just the right thing to say?
411
00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,717
Let's do this.
412
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:56,681
All right, the score is nine
to nine, next one wins.
413
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,593
BOTH: One, two, three.
414
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,911
(both grunting)
415
00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:04,338
Oh, you're going down,
little man.
416
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,339
I'm big where it counts.
417
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,341
Oh, that makes me uncomfortable.
418
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,695
I meant my quads.
But also the other thing.
419
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,089
-(rip)
-Oh! Did you just fart?
420
00:17:13,107 --> 00:17:14,848
You know that's
an automatic forfeit.
421
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,109
No.
But I think I ripped my pants.
422
00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:18,110
You want to give up?
423
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,538
-Hell no.
-Oh... (grunts)
424
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:23,115
Uh, what are y'all doing?
425
00:17:23,268 --> 00:17:25,359
-Working.
-Working.
426
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,361
Can I talk to you for a second?
427
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,438
Sure. (groaning)
428
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,966
I got to go change my pants.
429
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:35,945
What's up?
430
00:17:36,038 --> 00:17:38,389
Not much. Just haven't
seen you in a couple days.
431
00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:41,542
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, I've been, uh, busy.
432
00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:43,286
Okay. Well, you
want to come over tonight?
433
00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:44,954
Nah, I-I don't think so.
434
00:17:44,972 --> 00:17:47,881
Are you sure? 'Cause we can
have dinner and then maybe,
435
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,276
you know...
(vocalizes funky tune)
436
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,073
It's been a long week.
I'm kind of tired.
437
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:56,908
Okay, what's going on?
438
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,818
I was thinking that
maybe I should
439
00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:02,638
take a step back
from-from this, from us.
440
00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:05,566
-Wait, what?
-I... I feel like
441
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,733
you've been
fighting this relationship
442
00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:08,144
every step of the way.
443
00:18:08,162 --> 00:18:09,995
Is this 'cause of the key thing?
444
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,756
Because we both agreed
we would take this slow.
445
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:15,676
We were taking it any slower,
we'd be going backwards.
446
00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:17,929
Wow. Well,
447
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,015
sorry I'm not
sticking to your schedule.
448
00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:27,012
Did you put my backup pants
in the freezer?
449
00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:30,516
I'm not in a joking mood.
But yeah, I did.
450
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,569
(both laugh)
451
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:36,447
Um, hey, Randi, I-I know
452
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:37,782
you're having some problems
with Carter.
453
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,433
If you think it might
help,
454
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:42,787
I do have a "trouble
with your boo" playlist.
455
00:18:42,864 --> 00:18:44,697
How much of it is Adele?
456
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,182
Look, I can't help it
if her songs
457
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,184
apply to almost
every situation.
458
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:50,944
Well, actually,
it would help to talk this out
459
00:18:51,038 --> 00:18:52,872
with someone
who understands guy drama.
460
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,948
Well, my dear,
you've come to the right place.
461
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:57,117
-I have a lot of...
-Phil.
462
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:01,097
Step into my office, darling.
You can call me Dr. Phil.
463
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:04,642
Hey.
464
00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:07,478
Hey. I'm, uh, glad you're here.
We should probably talk.
465
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,148
Oh, let me guess--
the lady regrets her dalliances,
466
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:12,817
both upon bed and upon cheese?
467
00:19:12,968 --> 00:19:16,379
Yes. That is never happening
again. Especially not right now,
468
00:19:16,397 --> 00:19:18,047
'cause Randi and Phil
are in the kitchen.
469
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:19,973
Well, that's probably
best, because
470
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,550
I got a lot
of work to do anyway.
471
00:19:21,569 --> 00:19:24,645
-I just came by to thank you
for your idea.
-What idea?
472
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,480
Well, the other night you
mentioned buying your building,
473
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,740
so I looked into it.
474
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,559
You-you looked into
this building? My building?
475
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,487
-Soon to be my building.
-Your building?
476
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,966
Yeah, I'm buying it.
I'm gonna be your new landlord.
477
00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:41,012
This guy just found
another way to screw me.
478
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,411
He owns my building. He owns
the room that I sleep in.
479
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:51,080
And the room
he sometimes sleeps in.
480
00:19:51,098 --> 00:19:52,415
Hey, that was just once.
481
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,099
Mm, I heard it was
more than once.
482
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,752
How'd you hear that?
I didn't tell anyone.
483
00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:57,937
-You just told me.
-(gasps)
484
00:19:58,089 --> 00:20:00,347
Oh, gosh.
Well, what can I say?
485
00:20:00,441 --> 00:20:02,849
It's these unstoppable
sex moves.
486
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,619
Yeah.
487
00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,207
-Here.
-What's this?
488
00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:11,934
-Just open it.
-Whoa.
489
00:20:11,953 --> 00:20:16,455
My own robe. Won't flatter my
figure like yours, but thanks.
490
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,532
Check the pocket.
491
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,444
-It's a key to my apartment.
-Really?
492
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:24,222
Yeah. You were right,
I have been
493
00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:26,707
-fighting this relationship.
-Why?
494
00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:29,118
Look, I already pay somebody
by the hour to talk about it.
495
00:20:29,211 --> 00:20:31,120
Just trust me,
I don't want to screw this up.
496
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:32,396
Baby, I think we both know that
497
00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:34,732
I would be the one
to screw this up.
498
00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:38,069
So, you can come over
whenever you want.
499
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,478
Appreciate that.
500
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,297
Just make sure you text me three
hours in advance.
501
00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:43,132
-Not a problem.
-And Sunday morning is my time.
502
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:45,134
-Yes, Lord, it is.
-And no more than
two days in a row.
503
00:20:45,303 --> 00:20:46,577
Are you sure you want me
to have this?
504
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:47,912
No, but I gave it to you anyway.
505
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,990
Maybe I'll surprise you
and stop by tonight.
506
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:51,916
(chuckles) Don't.
507
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,492
Got it.
508
00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:55,586
KAT and MAX:
One, two,
509
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,646
three. (grunting)
510
00:20:57,665 --> 00:21:00,675
-Oh, you're so strong!
-Oh, geez!
511
00:21:01,744 --> 00:21:02,909
For the record,
512
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:05,821
these are not
my unstoppable sex moves.
513
00:21:05,914 --> 00:21:07,339
♪ I do it big, big, big ♪
514
00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:08,841
♪ This ain't no medium,
this ain't no medium ♪
515
00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:10,509
♪ I let 'em gas me up ♪
516
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,344
♪ Only take premium,
only take premium ♪
517
00:21:12,497 --> 00:21:17,333
♪ Do what I want, want, want,
so disobedient ♪
518
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:21,612
♪ Say I don't got the juice,
you a comedian, ha, ha, ha ♪
519
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:23,188
♪ I do it big, big, big ♪
520
00:21:23,341 --> 00:21:25,449
♪ So big, large ♪
521
00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:27,343
♪ Only take premium,
only take premium ♪
522
00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:29,194
♪ This ain't no medium,
this ain't no medium. ♪
523
00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:31,847
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524
00:21:31,866 --> 00:21:35,126
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