1
00:00:01,227 --> 00:00:04,319
-Previously on Call Me Kat...
-(screaming)
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,672
I had no idea
you were coming back.
3
00:00:06,899 --> 00:00:08,156
Obviously you ate well.
4
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,492
This is a juice bar now.
5
00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:11,826
Where are the cats?
6
00:00:11,995 --> 00:00:13,253
I told you she'd notice.
7
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,997
Now I'm at peace.
I just go with the flow.
8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,741
I even got a tattoo.
It's in Sanskrit.
9
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,243
It says "acceptance."
10
00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,336
That says "garden salad."
11
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,412
You sold a song?
12
00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:23,930
Aw, please, it's not
that big a deal.
13
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-Just to Kacey.
-Kacey...
14
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Musgraves.
Just a famous person,
15
00:00:27,436 --> 00:00:29,028
who I know.
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00:00:29,255 --> 00:00:30,604
I didn't fire Randi.
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She left because
I didn't love
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00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,107
every single thing
that she did to my café.
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I want you to be my partner.
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00:00:35,928 --> 00:00:38,370
-Like 50-50?
-Ish.
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I've been making my mother
margaritas since I was nine.
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00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:42,291
(blender whirs)
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I don't care for them.
24
00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:53,443
-What?
-Your new glasses.
25
00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:56,037
I assumed you were going to
ask me eventually.
26
00:00:56,131 --> 00:00:59,058
I wasn't...
for this exact reason.
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00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:00,967
Will you take them off
when we get to the club?
28
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,877
My friends will be there.
29
00:01:02,971 --> 00:01:04,805
Well, if anyone says anything,
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you can just pretend
not to know me.
31
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:08,141
Wouldn't be the first time.
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00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,052
Tell the truth, you're
wearing them to spite me.
33
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,147
No, the truth is
I need them to see.
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00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,909
That it upsets you is
a welcome bonus.
35
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,226
Where'd you get them,
36
00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:21,663
lost and found at the morgue?
37
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Hey!
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Oh, relax. It was a joke.
39
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Frankly, it's funnier that
you paid money for them.
40
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You just ran a stop sign.
41
00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:33,834
Did you not see
the big, red octagon?
42
00:01:34,002 --> 00:01:35,577
Don't be such a square.
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00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,598
Geometry?
I thought you'd appreciate it,
44
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given you were the only member
of your high school math club.
45
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Hey, one is still a number.
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00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,663
The loneliest.
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(siren chirps)
48
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Oh, great.
Now we're getting pulled over.
49
00:01:50,927 --> 00:01:52,336
I get it, Katharine,
you can see
50
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:54,571
through your hideous glasses.
51
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:56,949
What are you doing?
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Getting out of this ticket.
53
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,529
Seriously, you're gonna flirt
with a motorcycle cop?
54
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:07,292
Well, I'll start with flirting,
see where it goes.
55
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Okay, I'm gonna record this
because this is exactly
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00:02:10,372 --> 00:02:13,023
the kind of thing that
my therapist does not believe.
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00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:15,359
Oh, crap, it's a woman.
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00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:17,636
-Katharine, unbutton your shirt.
-What?
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00:02:17,863 --> 00:02:19,029
Maybe she's gay.
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I'm not gay.
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All right.
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Do you hear that, Dr. Bell?
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Do you hear that?!
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♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
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♪ Nothing wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
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00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,228
You're making a fuss
over nothing.
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You just got a ticket,
your license is expired,
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00:02:38,717 --> 00:02:41,952
and you told that officer
I'm an adventurous lover.
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00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,721
Why didn't you just
get it renewed?
70
00:02:44,723 --> 00:02:46,481
I didn't want them
to change my photo.
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00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,501
That was a hair day
for the ages.
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Well, now, you're gonna have to
go to the DMV
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00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,838
and take the driving test again.
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00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:54,322
Can't you take it for me?
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We look about the same age.
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No.
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Although I do love me
some standardized tests.
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00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:04,241
I used to give them
to myself in math club.
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I don't have time to go
to the DMV.
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Tomorrow's my nail appointment,
Thursday's my chemical peel.
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00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:11,005
Wait, you know you can't
drive anywhere
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until you get this done, right?
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00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:14,601
What is with you war
on beauty, Katharine?
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Don't you have any cool friends
I can buy a license from?
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No!
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'Cause breaking the law
is never cool,
87
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unless it involves
feeding a meter
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so a stranger doesn't get
a parking ticket.
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Take that,
Louisville Town Center.
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00:03:31,453 --> 00:03:33,119
Well, if I can't drive myself,
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you'll have to
drive me everywhere.
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Not gonna happen.
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00:03:36,442 --> 00:03:38,458
Why, are you busy
this week?
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Look at those glasses.
Of course you're not busy.
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I am so glad
I got glasses.
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I can finally see,
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00:03:49,304 --> 00:03:53,398
and I can really emphasize
my point... like this.
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00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,958
(laughs)
99
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,643
Ooh, I love 'em, and I think
you look super sexy.
100
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,221
Well, now that I can see,
I think you look super sexy.
101
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:03,408
Okay, okay, I like
where this is going.
102
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And you just ruined it.
103
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Hey, y'all,
it's moonshine season.
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00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,068
Who wants a jug
of Mama's skeeter juice?
105
00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:15,570
Isn't that the stuff
your cousin used
106
00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:17,163
to burn his fingerprints off?
107
00:04:17,316 --> 00:04:18,648
One and the same.
108
00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:21,985
It'll also take the roots
out of your sewer line.
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00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:23,578
Oh, okay, well, sign me up.
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-So long, laser hair removal.
-I'll take two.
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I just found out my son's
production of Pippin
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isn't about Scottie.
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Mama is gonna be
so proud of me.
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I sold 'em all
and didn't even have to
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go to the high school
this year.
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I've got amazing news.
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You do? Hang on.
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I'm listening.
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One of my songs is gonna be
in a commercial.
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What?! That's amazing.
Which song?
121
00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:53,183
"Say No More."
The one about
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maybe meeting my dad someday.
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I love that song.
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♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
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00:04:58,524 --> 00:05:01,633
BOTH:
♪ What was the journey for? ♪
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00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,393
♪ My dad just sips his whiskey ♪
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00:05:03,453 --> 00:05:06,546
♪ It's all right, son,
say no more. ♪
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I can't wait to get drunk
with my son.
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00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:11,493
What's the commercial about?
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00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,645
No idea. It got bought by
one of those huge companies
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that makes everything from beer
to frozen pizza,
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00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:19,133
but the important thing is
I'm gonna get paid!
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Ooh, I hear that.
New espresso machine
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coming our way, roomie. Yes!
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(phone ringing)
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00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,233
Hello, Mother.
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00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,810
Well, I hope you're happy.
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00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,054
I've taken one of your
ride-share services,
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and now I'm being abducted.
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00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,392
Ma'am, I promise you,
I'm not ab...
141
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:38,378
I checked the box that said
"no conversation."
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00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:41,656
Mother, no one is gonna
kidnap you.
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00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,083
And if they do,
I assure you
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they will pay me
to take you back.
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00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:48,071
Why are we going
through downtown?
146
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:49,681
There's an accident on 64.
147
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:51,575
I'm sure.
148
00:05:51,593 --> 00:05:55,762
Katharine, how do I use
that pepper spray you gave me?
149
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,189
Oh, that's air freshener.
150
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:59,191
I would never give you
a weapon. Bye!
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00:05:59,342 --> 00:06:02,936
To Max and his messed up
relationship with his dad.
152
00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:04,437
And to Mama for once again
153
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,756
outsmarting the po-po.
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00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,658
(laughter)
155
00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:11,536
Ugh.
156
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:13,430
Hoo-wee!
157
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:16,116
So that's why people
make that noise.
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00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:18,025
Can you believe
is was distilled
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00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:21,296
in the same bathtub
I was born in?
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00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:28,278
Okay, next question.
"Two vehicles arrive
161
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:30,280
"at a four-way stop
at the same time.
162
00:06:30,373 --> 00:06:31,539
Who has the right of way?"
163
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,134
Obviously, the most
expensive car.
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00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,061
This is still America.
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00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,788
The correct answer is
the car to your right.
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00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:41,958
Unless you're in Detroit.
Don't ever stop in Detroit.
167
00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:43,309
Here's an easy one.
168
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:47,889
"At what blood alcohol
concentration are you impaired?"
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Me personally?
170
00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:51,651
When I start telling people
I love them.
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00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:55,472
I've never seen you that drunk.
Look, if you're not gonna
172
00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,490
take this seriously, there's
no way you're gonna pass.
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00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:01,086
Oh, who cares? So I'm driving
on an expired license.
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00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,146
What are they gonna do,
throw me in jail?
175
00:07:03,148 --> 00:07:05,081
That's exactly what
they're gonna do!
176
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:07,150
And you know what they
have in jail?
177
00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,818
Florescent lighting.
178
00:07:08,912 --> 00:07:10,278
You don't scare me.
179
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,172
I drove here today
and nothing happened.
180
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,156
What?!
181
00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:14,491
That's right.
182
00:07:14,509 --> 00:07:17,160
And I solved the Wordle
at the same time.
183
00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:20,439
You can't drive
with an expired license.
184
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,732
Watch me, four-eyes.
185
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,521
Give me your keys.
186
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,358
If you want my keys,
you'll have to take them.
187
00:07:32,511 --> 00:07:36,955
Dang, that made
my neck tingle.
188
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:39,291
Yeah, she'll do fine in jail.
189
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,943
I'm serious.
Give me your purse.
190
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,187
-Let go.
-You let go.
191
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,113
Don't hurt it, it's Gucci!
192
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,799
Why can't you see
I am doing this
193
00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:49,801
for your own...
194
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:53,096
good?
195
00:07:54,049 --> 00:07:56,683
Keys weren't even
in my purse.
196
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,300
Dude, in less than two minutes,
197
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,653
your song is gonna be
on national TV.
198
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:10,155
And then two minutes after that,
199
00:08:10,382 --> 00:08:11,397
we're gonna watched
a masked celebrity
200
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,325
dressed as a taco
singing "La Vida Loca."
201
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:16,328
(laughs) Ooh. Get ready to be
on my Instagram Live, Max!
202
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:19,389
Come on. You know I don't like
being the center of attention.
203
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,315
Darren, grab me one of those
drinks that you named after me.
204
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:26,004
Oh, one Max on the Beach
coming right up!
205
00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:27,731
You're practically famous.
206
00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:30,491
It would be like if Carter's
afro ever gets on Is It Cake?
207
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,252
I've sent pictures in
four times.
208
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,071
What are they so afraid of?
209
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:39,092
My cousin Janice was on TV once,
but it was Cops.
210
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:40,760
She wasn't wearing pants.
211
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,729
We were so proud.
212
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:45,524
Hey, hey, Instagram.
213
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,434
We are live
with songwriter Max Kingbird.
214
00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,511
-What up, Gram?
-We're roomies, too.
215
00:08:50,605 --> 00:08:52,346
He ate my damn yogurt
this morning.
216
00:08:52,424 --> 00:08:54,533
Anyway, say something
to your fans.
217
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,277
Hey, guys.
Uh, this song is about my dad.
218
00:08:57,429 --> 00:08:59,279
It really means a lot to me.
219
00:08:59,431 --> 00:09:01,373
I'm just so honored
that you all are gonna hear it.
220
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,042
And if you're hot, single,
and in Louisville,
221
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:06,044
we are getting hammered
on moonshine
222
00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:07,879
-at The Middle C.
-(whoops)
223
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:11,941
He's kidding. We don't want
no Feds up in the holler.
224
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,127
Wait. I think they're going
to a commercial break.
225
00:09:14,279 --> 00:09:17,038
Uh, quiet down, everybody.
226
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,448
Can everybody please quiet down?
227
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:21,226
-Hey, shut the hell up!
-(chatter stops)
228
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:24,454
Oh, uh, I think they heard you
229
00:09:24,472 --> 00:09:27,232
'cause they were already
quieting from when I... said it.
230
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,626
(intro to "Say No More" plays)
231
00:09:29,644 --> 00:09:31,552
Oh, boy.
232
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:33,405
♪ ♪
233
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,153
I'm back.
234
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:44,165
I love it
when people come back.
235
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:48,587
-(bell clangs)
-(dogs barking)
236
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:51,256
♪ I come home and I wonder ♪
237
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:55,409
♪ What was the journey for... ♪
238
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:58,513
(dogs barking melody)
239
00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:02,175
(dogs howl)
240
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:04,436
What the hell did they do
to your song?
241
00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:09,666
It's a disaster.
The labradoodle's flat.
242
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:11,351
♪ ♪
243
00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:14,095
ANNOUNCER: Neumann's Hill
Farm Fresh Dog Food--
244
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:18,366
organic, healthy, delicious.
245
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,418
How great was that?
246
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:32,705
I-I think
my aunt uses that dog food.
247
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,800
That's the end of my story.
248
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:38,136
Look, it's broadcast TV.
249
00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:40,972
No one our age is watching.
250
00:10:41,124 --> 00:10:43,725
Except for all of y'all.
You're cool.
251
00:10:48,297 --> 00:10:50,148
-(Kat sighs)
-(cork pops)
252
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:53,568
Sorry.
My thumb already had it going.
253
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:02,476
Hey, I got champagne
if you want to celebrate
254
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,288
and tequila if you want
to get white-girl wasted.
255
00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,392
Okay, champagne with tequila.
(chuckles)
256
00:11:09,527 --> 00:11:12,212
That's called
"The Oldest Bridesmaid."
257
00:11:13,081 --> 00:11:15,006
I wrote that song about wanting
258
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,901
to connect with my father
before he dies.
259
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:21,571
Nobody's gonna
take me seriously now.
260
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:22,997
That is not true.
261
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:25,425
Eddie Vedder got his start
writing the jingle for Chili's.
262
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,411
-Really?
-Don't google it, but yeah.
263
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:32,081
Look, I know that did not
turn out the way you expected,
264
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,525
but it's still a huge deal, Max.
265
00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:36,844
Look, I get what you're trying
to do, but I'm not in the mood.
266
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,923
-Max, it's not like
it's the end of your...
-Kat, stop.
267
00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:42,016
I want to be alone.
268
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,495
Right. Sorry.
269
00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:48,781
Are you Max Kingbird?
270
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,283
We saw you on Instagram Live.
271
00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:52,785
Oh, sorry, ladies.
He's not really in the mood.
272
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:54,120
Hang on.
273
00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:55,880
Have you ladies ever heard
of a drink called
274
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,957
"The Oldest Bridesmaid"?
275
00:11:58,109 --> 00:12:00,034
Here. Right this way.
Right this way.
276
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,036
-Max.
-What?
277
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,723
Misery loves...
278
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:06,725
(whispers):
a threesome.
279
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:11,955
Okay, it's your driver's test,
and I'm the DMV person.
280
00:12:12,123 --> 00:12:14,640
Why don't we start by pulling
into that Fuddruckers?
281
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,125
-Okay.
-(turn signal clicking)
282
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:17,402
No! It's a trick.
283
00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,738
You don't go to Fuddruckers
on your driver's test!
284
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:22,315
You get to go after if you pass.
285
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:25,969
Or fail. Either way,
we're going to Fuddruckers.
286
00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,320
Oh, red light.
287
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,823
Yes, I can see that. Thank you.
288
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,083
Really? Lipstick right now?
289
00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:33,418
It's for you.
290
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:36,329
It'll draw the eye away
from those glasses.
291
00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,331
Yeah, well, say what you will,
292
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,999
but that motorcycle cop
called me.
293
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,260
She wants to have drinks
Friday night.
294
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:44,929
-Green light.
-(scoffs) I know.
295
00:12:45,081 --> 00:12:46,339
I just like to be a careful
and courteous...
296
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,492
-(horn blaring)
-Oh, bite me, asshat!
297
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,662
Yeah, you're gonna sail
through this driving test.
298
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,756
I don't know why you enjoy
criticizing me so much.
299
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:57,275
Are you kidding me right now?
300
00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:59,335
You do nothing but criticize me.
301
00:12:59,354 --> 00:13:02,005
Oh, so now I'm a bad driver
and a bad mother?
302
00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:05,174
I never said
you were a bad driver.
303
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:07,026
It doesn't matter how I drive.
304
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:08,936
I'm going to fail anyway.
305
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,847
Why do you say that?
306
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,707
I'm going blind.
307
00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:16,961
What?
308
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:20,039
I found out
while you were on your trip.
309
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,802
-I don't understand.
How could you...?
-(horn blaring)
310
00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:26,387
Oh, bite me, asshat!
311
00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:37,223
(sighs)
I have macular degeneration.
312
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:41,044
A fancy way of saying that,
over the next five to ten years,
313
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,637
I'm going to lose my sight.
314
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,731
There's got to be something
they can do.
315
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,216
Well, there isn't.
316
00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:50,477
I'm taking medication,
but it'll only slow it down.
317
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:54,223
And that's why you never went
to get your license renewed.
318
00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:56,817
I knew
I couldn't pass the eye exam.
319
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,652
I'm so sorry.
320
00:13:58,746 --> 00:14:04,217
I always thought, if I didn't
act old, I wouldn't get old.
321
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:08,087
I don't know what kind of life
I'm going to have
322
00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:10,682
if I can't drive.
323
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:13,017
We'll figure something out.
324
00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:14,577
I did figure it out.
325
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,746
I was going to continue
to drive illegally,
326
00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:18,172
and you ruined it.
327
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,025
-Mother...
-Look, Katharine,
it is what it is,
328
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:23,611
and wallowing isn't going
to help.
329
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:29,158
-(phone chimes)
-Find me the nearest bar.
330
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:33,371
Wait. You can't drive
if you can't see.
331
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,374
And you can't get a man
if you wear those ski goggles,
332
00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:38,418
but here we are.
333
00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,037
(door opens)
334
00:14:50,131 --> 00:14:51,464
-Hey, baby.
-Hey.
335
00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:54,133
You think I could have a career
as a hand model?
336
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,044
I think
I'm rewatching Bridgerton,
337
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,897
and the duke is about
to take off his shirt.
338
00:14:59,048 --> 00:15:00,139
Well, I was picking up dinner,
339
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:02,066
and I was reaching
for the lasagna,
340
00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:04,235
and the lady said,
"You have lovely hands."
341
00:15:04,462 --> 00:15:07,071
-She just wanted a bigger tip.
-That don't make her a liar.
342
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:09,056
Should we get
mani-pedis this weekend?
343
00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:11,467
Can I just watch my lady porn?
344
00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:13,202
(phone ringing)
345
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,562
What's up, Darren?
346
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,897
Make it quick.
347
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:18,658
I'm about
to Bridgerton and chill.
348
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,085
(laughs)
No, he isn't.
349
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,162
You might want
to come down here.
350
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,997
(playing upbeat tune)
351
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,983
♪ Woof, woof ♪
352
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:29,669
♪ Woof, woof, woof. ♪
353
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:33,673
(howling)
354
00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:35,158
Come on, everybody.
355
00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:39,395
Put your paws together!
356
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,523
Crap.
357
00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,008
I must really be drunk.
358
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:53,952
I can't even taste the whiskey
in this.
359
00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:55,436
It's coffee.
360
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,180
Yeah, I'm not doing caffeine
these days.
361
00:15:57,348 --> 00:15:59,290
It's bad for your health.
362
00:16:00,185 --> 00:16:01,459
What the hell is wrong with you?
363
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:05,354
You come down here, get drunk,
bark at my customers.
364
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:09,041
I ought to swat you on the nose
with a rolled-up newspaper.
365
00:16:09,194 --> 00:16:11,194
Have you seen TikTok lately?
366
00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:13,045
You talking about
the bikini jump-rope challenge?
367
00:16:13,198 --> 00:16:14,472
It's okay to look
368
00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:18,977
'cause they're raising money
for juvenile diabetes.
369
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,815
Thousands of people
posted videos singing my song
370
00:16:24,042 --> 00:16:25,891
with their dogs.
371
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,710
(laughs)
372
00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,970
I'm an Internet joke.
373
00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:32,715
I wrote the new
"Never Gonna Give You Up."
374
00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:36,552
Oh, you must be drunk if you're
hating on my boy Rick Astley.
375
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:40,406
I thought
it was gonna go away, but now...
376
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:44,227
It's gonna dog you forever?
(laughs)
377
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,505
Damn. How come I'm always clever
when Randi's not around?
378
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:51,009
That song came from my heart.
379
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,511
I'm an artist.
380
00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,422
Oh, you're an artist now.
381
00:16:56,574 --> 00:16:59,242
I thought you were a guy
who just threw up in my piano.
382
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,519
-You don't get it.
-I don't get it?
383
00:17:01,746 --> 00:17:05,005
You wrote that song so people
would hear it and enjoy it.
384
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,433
And now, all those people do.
385
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,861
I don't know, man.
386
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:11,937
Sounds like a win to me.
387
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:15,107
And that's not just me
throwing you a bone.
388
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,869
I don't like clever Carter.
389
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,704
And I don't like having
to drive down here
390
00:17:19,781 --> 00:17:21,447
and leave behind lasagna
391
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,783
and a girlfriend who's all
revved up from Bridgerton.
392
00:17:23,935 --> 00:17:25,951
Bridgerton, man!
393
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,953
I just don't want to be known
as the guy
394
00:17:28,122 --> 00:17:30,214
who did the stupid
dog food song.
395
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:33,426
Better than being the guy
who never did anything.
396
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:38,056
Can you take me home?
397
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:40,283
Sure. Hey, if we hurry,
398
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,802
I'll still have time
to hit Randi with a little,
399
00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:44,136
(British accent):
"Evenin' Duchess.
400
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,305
You fancy me bangers and mash?"
401
00:17:46,457 --> 00:17:49,233
I really don't know
why Randi has sex with you.
402
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,144
Hey, you think
I could be a hand model?
403
00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:53,404
What?
404
00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:58,034
Just imagine a slo-mo shot
of me putting on lotion.
405
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,913
KAT:
Hello?
406
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,564
Oh, Katharine?
407
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,808
Hey.
408
00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:07,143
What are you doing here?
409
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:10,646
Wait. How much do you need?
410
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:12,665
I don't need money.
411
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:14,425
I've got a mother who loves me.
412
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:16,761
(both laugh)
413
00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:19,097
There's your father's
sense of whimsy.
414
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,991
I came to take you to yoga.
415
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:25,085
Oh. Well, since I can't drive,
416
00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:28,088
I... I hadn't planned on
going anyplace for a while.
417
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,682
That's why I'm here.
418
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:33,260
I took the day off so I can take
you to yoga and the hair salon.
419
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:36,948
I'm pretty sure I'm still owed
a trip to Fuddruckers.
420
00:18:37,175 --> 00:18:38,858
I can't ask you to do that.
421
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,767
You don't have to ask.
422
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,695
I want to.
423
00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:44,013
Really?
424
00:18:44,031 --> 00:18:46,273
Of course. You're my mother.
425
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,085
I'm not gonna let you
go through this alone.
426
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,540
Why are you squeezing me?
427
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,283
Oh. It's a hug.
428
00:18:56,361 --> 00:18:59,262
Cross that off my bucket list.
429
00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:03,432
I love you, sweetheart.
430
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:06,218
I love you, too.
431
00:19:06,371 --> 00:19:09,372
As long as we're going to
my salon, won't you let Francois
432
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,298
-finally...?
-Okay, don't push it.
433
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,402
Sorry if I wanted you to look
nice for your new lady friend.
434
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,327
Hey, Internet. I'm Max Kingbird.
435
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,830
I wrote the song that inspired
all the singing dog videos,
436
00:19:26,057 --> 00:19:27,740
uh, trending number two
right below
437
00:19:27,892 --> 00:19:30,242
"hashtag double-D double Dutch."
438
00:19:30,395 --> 00:19:33,629
Anyway, I thought maybe
you'd like to hear my version.
439
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,342
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge ♪
440
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,736
♪ 20 years gone... ♪
441
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,254
-Take it partner.
-(barking along)
442
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,999
♪ Tough old man
I hardly know says ♪
443
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,835
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
444
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,580
♪ The years were written
on his face ♪
445
00:19:51,599 --> 00:19:55,359
(in harmony):
♪ They gave way to a smile ♪
446
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:58,938
♪ He shook my hand
and poured a glass, and said ♪
447
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,607
♪ "Won't you stay a while?" ♪
448
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:02,849
(yowls)
449
00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:04,184
♪ Said... ♪ Oh.
450
00:20:04,278 --> 00:20:05,761
-(barking)
-Oh.
451
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:08,447
Hey. Hey.
452
00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:10,541
♪ ♪
453
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:17,531
♪ Touchdown in Baton Rouge,
20 years gone ♪
454
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,960
♪ A tough old man
I hardly know said ♪
455
00:20:21,112 --> 00:20:22,461
♪ "Welcome home, son" ♪
456
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:27,967
♪ I come home and I wonder,
what was the journey for ♪
457
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,453
♪ My old man sips his whiskey ♪
458
00:20:30,471 --> 00:20:32,471
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more" ♪
459
00:20:32,623 --> 00:20:34,640
♪ My old man
sips his whiskey ♪
460
00:20:34,717 --> 00:20:40,154
♪ "It's all right, son.
Say no more." ♪
461
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,635
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
462
00:20:46,637 --> 00:20:48,371
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org