1 00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,670 (breathing heavily) 2 00:00:04,821 --> 00:00:06,063 Look who I'm kissing. 3 00:00:06,232 --> 00:00:07,581 -(door closes) -It's Max. Can you believe it? 4 00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:09,399 (moaning, breathing heavily) 5 00:00:09,418 --> 00:00:10,417 Wait. 6 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,011 Are you sure you're okay with this? 7 00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:13,595 Take your shirt off. 8 00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:18,017 I am abs-olutely okay with this. 9 00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:19,259 (both chuckle) 10 00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:21,854 I have wanted to do this for so long. 11 00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:25,107 So, first round's for speed, second round is for distance. 12 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,842 Third round is for creativity. 13 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:30,345 Three rounds? All right. 14 00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:31,864 All right, buddy, I know we're 40, 15 00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:34,349 but it's time to rise to the occasion. 16 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,425 Sex pun! 17 00:00:35,519 --> 00:00:37,119 -I've never been so turned on. -Ah. 18 00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:40,614 You know, 19 00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:43,191 three generations of Silver women have slept in this bed. 20 00:00:44,103 --> 00:00:46,962 I don't know why I thought that would be hot. 21 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,456 -Are you purring? -(purring) 22 00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:53,277 (groans) Snowball, get out of here. 23 00:00:53,295 --> 00:00:54,611 (yowls) 24 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:55,870 (chuckles) 25 00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:57,556 ♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪ 26 00:00:57,783 --> 00:01:00,059 ♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪ 27 00:01:01,303 --> 00:01:05,064 Oh, my gosh, Max is in my bed, and we did it. 28 00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:08,141 That literally cuts my bucket list in half. 29 00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:12,145 What do you know? Three rounds with Kat Silver. 30 00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,239 Would've gotten to four if that pervert cat 31 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,575 wasn't licking himself in the corner. 32 00:01:17,486 --> 00:01:19,745 I had an orgasm with Max Kingbird, 33 00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:21,988 and he was actually here for it! 34 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,659 This is weird. I'm feeling... 35 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,144 What is this? 36 00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:29,663 I don't regret what I did last night. 37 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,240 Why isn't he saying anything? 38 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,410 Does he regret this? What is he thinking? 39 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,429 Don't fart. 40 00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:40,157 Don't. Fart. 41 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:41,508 Okay, be cool. 42 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,269 Just roll over and say good morning. 43 00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:47,514 It's only Max. Your friend Max. 44 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,867 Who spun you like a dreidel in Nana Silver's bed. 45 00:01:50,869 --> 00:01:55,021 All right, I think I can hide this on the rollover. 46 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,840 On three. 47 00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:59,618 One, two, three. 48 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:02,454 -Ow! -Ow, ow. (sputters) 49 00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:04,197 -You okay? -Yep. 50 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,532 (Max groans) 51 00:02:05,684 --> 00:02:07,960 Here, let me fan you with these sheets a little. 52 00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:14,040 So... 53 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,467 last night was fun, 54 00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:19,638 but also stuff that friends don't normally do. 55 00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:22,099 Yeah. (laughs) 56 00:02:23,035 --> 00:02:24,534 Yeah. 57 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:28,981 Are we friends who just had a crazy night, or... 58 00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:31,600 or are we...? 59 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,377 Yeah. 60 00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:35,028 Are we...? 61 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,806 That's right, Max. I may have cut off a lock of your hair 62 00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,384 while you were sleeping, 63 00:02:40,402 --> 00:02:42,578 but I will not ask you to be my boyfriend. 64 00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:44,997 Honestly... 65 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,983 I'd like to see if there's something here. 66 00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:51,336 I mean, if-if that's what you want. 67 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,747 It worked! We're gonna do this! 68 00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:55,716 It's happening, it's happening! 69 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,011 Yeah, we can give it a shot. 70 00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,180 (Kat chuckles) 71 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:06,593 You know, Papa Silver died in this bed. 72 00:03:07,579 --> 00:03:09,079 Maybe you should just kiss me so I shut up. 73 00:03:09,097 --> 00:03:11,106 -Yeah. -Yeah. 74 00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:14,026 -Hey. -Hey. 75 00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:15,510 Wait, why are you so sweaty? 76 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,771 Did somebody finally teach you how to Dougie? 77 00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,847 I was training my son. He's going out for track. 78 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,868 I mean, it's not football, but at least it's not band. 79 00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:24,261 Oh, well, I can work with CJ. 80 00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:25,687 I used to run the 100 meters. 81 00:03:25,764 --> 00:03:26,872 I was the fastest girl in my school. 82 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,124 So was I. 83 00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:31,043 I appreciate the offer, 84 00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:34,104 but, you know, men run different than women. 85 00:03:34,122 --> 00:03:37,716 I see, and "different" meaning faster? 86 00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:39,960 Oh, good, you know. 87 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,295 So, you think that you can beat me in a race 88 00:03:42,448 --> 00:03:44,281 just because you have a penis? 89 00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:45,707 Well, I'm not a scientist, 90 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,802 so I don't know where the speed is stored, 91 00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:50,211 but yes. 92 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,788 You know what? That's it. 93 00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:53,381 After work, we are gonna race. 94 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,808 Put some lotion on those ashy knees 95 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,050 and meet me in the park 96 00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:57,978 for a good old-fashioned ass-kicking. 97 00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,312 Oh, you're on. 98 00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:00,722 And there won't be any ass-kicking, 99 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,299 only ass-gazing. 100 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:07,246 As in, your eyes watching my ass leave your ass behind. 101 00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:09,581 Hey, everybody. 102 00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:11,333 Oh, my God, you've had sex. 103 00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:13,643 What are you talking about? 104 00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:16,255 Ugh, been so long, she doesn't remember what it is. 105 00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:18,815 (singsongy): Knowing when people had sex is my superpower. 106 00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:19,925 Yeah, it's true. 107 00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:22,577 When she met my parents, she called them out. 108 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,746 Made church so awkward. 109 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,657 Hold up, you've had sex with Max. 110 00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,159 -(gasps) -Max? 111 00:04:29,177 --> 00:04:31,011 Did my name come up? 112 00:04:31,163 --> 00:04:33,421 What happened between me and Max is private. 113 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,608 We did it three times last night. 114 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,535 Let's get this baby cooking. 115 00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:40,428 Go lie down and put your feet in the air. 116 00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:41,613 You need to marinate. 117 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,356 You know, like you do with an old chicken. 118 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,342 We're putting the baby on the backburner-- 119 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,119 unfortunate choice of words. 120 00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:49,513 We just want to focus on seeing where this goes. 121 00:04:49,606 --> 00:04:51,531 We have our first real date tonight! 122 00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:54,609 Great, we're gonna gamble my grandchild's existence 123 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,611 on your personality. 124 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,255 I need a drink. 125 00:05:02,861 --> 00:05:05,053 -Thank you. -Thanks. 126 00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:07,364 Oh. 127 00:05:07,382 --> 00:05:08,307 (chuckles): Oh, we're gonna sit 128 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:09,866 on the same side of the booth. 129 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:12,060 That's the other half of my bucket list. 130 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,204 Hello, I'm Greg. 131 00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:16,297 Is this your first time dining with us? 132 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:19,318 It's actually our first time dining anywhere as a couple. 133 00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:21,878 We have been best friends forever, 134 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,305 no benefits, just really strong feelings for each other. 135 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,565 We're kind of like Cagney and Lacey, 136 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,160 but we don't solve crimes and he's not a lady. 137 00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:31,221 He was in a relationship, and I was in a relationship. 138 00:05:31,239 --> 00:05:32,998 And then last night, Greg, out of the blue, 139 00:05:33,149 --> 00:05:36,376 boom, bang, Bonetown, population two. 140 00:05:37,412 --> 00:05:40,172 We did it three times, and I'm 40. 141 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:43,759 I'll get you some bread. 142 00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:48,071 He's not coming back, is he? 143 00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:50,057 (both chuckle) 144 00:05:50,909 --> 00:05:52,092 Why are you staring at me? 145 00:05:52,244 --> 00:05:54,186 -Oh, no, do I have a bat in the cave? -What? 146 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:55,520 No. 147 00:05:55,747 --> 00:05:58,148 You just, you look great. 148 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,767 Thank you. 149 00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:01,843 Is that a new outfit? 150 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,770 Oh, no. I-I've had it forever. 151 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,256 Uh, fire sale. An estate sale. 152 00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:07,991 She died in a fire. 153 00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:12,537 You look really nice. 154 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,873 Thanks. Shaved the ears. 155 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,627 Yeah, that was supposed to be in my head. 156 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,638 (chuckles nervously) 157 00:06:32,968 --> 00:06:35,452 -This is weird. Okay. Yeah. -Yeah, I'm gonna sit on that side. Yeah. 158 00:06:35,621 --> 00:06:37,229 -Okay. -Yeah. 159 00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:38,880 Yeah, this is much better. 160 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,715 You know, now I got a little elbow room. 161 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,127 Like the settlers moving west, taking land from the natives. 162 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:45,404 Why would I go there? I... 163 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,406 You know what, we both just need to relax. 164 00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:49,056 Let's just, let's start this thing over. 165 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,635 That's a great idea. That's a really great idea. 166 00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:55,247 Whoa. What the hell?! Is there something under the table? 167 00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:57,565 That was my foot. I was playing footsie. 168 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,752 (sighs) I have a very specific phobia 169 00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:04,739 about alligators attacking my feet under restaurant tables. 170 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,167 That has literally never happened. 171 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,503 Uh, I saw it on Gator 911. 172 00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:12,079 That poor bride. 173 00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:13,657 Well, this is no gator. 174 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:16,601 It's a size 12 foot in a sock from Men's Wearhouse. 175 00:07:16,828 --> 00:07:19,438 (laughs): That's nice. 176 00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:21,606 Five-toe fandango. 177 00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,257 Whoa, gator! 178 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,609 Your other foot. 179 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:36,455 All right, this is gonna be a Harlan County two-scamper. 180 00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:41,501 No skipsies, no jumpsies, no shooty-backsies. 181 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,111 So, you scared? 182 00:07:44,189 --> 00:07:45,780 Scared? Please. 183 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,114 I'm only scared of three things-- 184 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:51,118 horror films, snakes and very low ceiling fans. 185 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,529 Yeah, big talk, old man. 186 00:07:52,664 --> 00:07:54,789 Did you get a biscuit with those chicken legs? 187 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,643 Yeah, well, these chicken legs got 11 herbs and spices, 188 00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:01,980 which that makes them extra crispy, so that means that... 189 00:08:02,131 --> 00:08:04,357 You know what? Let's just do this. 190 00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,138 Okay. 191 00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:14,493 Ready, set, scamper! 192 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,995 ♪ ♪ 193 00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:41,077 (whoops) You see that? 194 00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:42,687 It's the running man. 195 00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:45,749 Ooh, and now, oh, it's the running Carter. 196 00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,192 -(whimpering) -(Carter stammers) 197 00:08:47,419 --> 00:08:48,527 -You tripped me! -(laughs) 198 00:08:48,754 --> 00:08:52,531 Ain't nobody tripping out here but you, loser. 199 00:08:52,682 --> 00:08:53,773 (high-pitched): Loser. 200 00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:56,034 -Loser. -Phil, you saw, she cheated! 201 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,702 What? I'm sorry. 202 00:08:57,854 --> 00:09:02,098 I just realized I'm wearing two different color shoes. 203 00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:04,626 (laughing) 204 00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:10,131 How's your lamb? 205 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,093 Good. 206 00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:15,445 How's your pasta? 207 00:09:15,463 --> 00:09:17,097 Good. 208 00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:18,965 This lamb is terrible. 209 00:09:19,117 --> 00:09:20,392 Why didn't I tell her that? 210 00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:23,669 I could've said, "Pretty baaad." 211 00:09:23,822 --> 00:09:26,213 I just wanted this night to be special. 212 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,215 I shaved every inch of my body. 213 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,143 I'm like a fricking dolphin. 214 00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:34,072 Why can't I think of something funny or cool to say? 215 00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,481 Wait, I got it. 216 00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:40,620 Is it just me or is the service here pretty baaad? 217 00:09:41,564 --> 00:09:43,306 What? 218 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,733 I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm sorry. 219 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,978 -Me, too. Why is this so awkward? -(laughs): I don't know. 220 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:50,313 We're usually so comfortable together. 221 00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:51,906 Like this morning, I heard you fart. 222 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,484 What? No. No. It was, it was your bed. 223 00:09:54,502 --> 00:09:56,486 You said so yourself, it's very old. 224 00:09:56,579 --> 00:09:59,431 (sighs) We had so much fun last night. 225 00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:00,506 And again this morning. 226 00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,342 I want this to be more like that. 227 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:06,771 You know, we could wash away this whole night in my shower. 228 00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:08,665 That's a slip-and-fall risk. 229 00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:10,108 Safety first, sexy second. 230 00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:14,195 Don't worry, 'cause my shower has grippy ducks on the floor. 231 00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:18,325 Recommended by the AARP. 232 00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:21,435 Really? 233 00:10:21,529 --> 00:10:26,032 Well, those grippy ducks are about to swim with a dolphin. 234 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,609 I don't get that, 235 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,945 but quack, quack, quack. 236 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,298 -(imitating dolphin) -(quacking) 237 00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:38,878 Ooh, a candle. 238 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,864 I didn't realize Bonetown had 239 00:10:40,882 --> 00:10:42,790 a Spiced Pumpkin district. 240 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,367 We're close to shopping 241 00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,460 and the schools are excellent. 242 00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:47,871 Are they? 243 00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:50,056 Maybe you're a teacher 244 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,391 and I'm the new student. 245 00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:52,925 Yeah. 246 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,378 And you're in trouble because you didn't do your homework. 247 00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:57,638 Why wouldn't I do my homework? 248 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,716 I'm all for role-play 249 00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,809 but, like, it has to make sense. 250 00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:03,995 Okay, all right, so... 251 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,572 what would you want to get in trouble for? 252 00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,149 I don't want to get in trouble for anything. 253 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,334 I'm new to this school, 254 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,211 I'm trying to make a good impression. 255 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,506 Maybe let's work up to role-play. 256 00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:15,915 Oh, um... 257 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,750 -I could be a foreign exchange student. -Oh. 258 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,512 (Irish accent): Good day to ya, Professor Kingbird. 259 00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:23,640 Do you want to see where I hid me pot o' gold? 260 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,242 I'm not gonna lie. 261 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:28,019 I don't hate that. 262 00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,247 KAT: Oh, no, I am wearing 263 00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,024 some weapons-grade shapewear right now. 264 00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:35,251 He doesn't need to see how this sausage is cased. 265 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,195 Uh, actually, I'm gonna run 266 00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:38,771 to the bathroom real quick. 267 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,347 (Irish accent): When you come back, 268 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,534 you can kiss me Blarney Stone. 269 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,578 Damn, you're sexy. 270 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,949 (panting) 271 00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:52,210 (grunting) 272 00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:56,122 This is like prom all over again. 273 00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:58,975 You know, if I went to prom. 274 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,177 (grunting) 275 00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,950 -Ow! -MAX: You okay? 276 00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:09,285 Yeah, yeah, just getting ready to pee! 277 00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:12,731 Oh, oh, I don't want him to hear this mighty tinkle. 278 00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:16,383 MAX: Are you taking a shower? 279 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,052 Yeah, just gonna take a quick rinse. 280 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,738 (Irish accent): Ooh, you've got Irish Spring! 281 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:21,631 It's the body wash of me people. 282 00:12:21,649 --> 00:12:23,557 MAX: I'm gonna get us a bottle of wine. 283 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,577 Yeah, and I'm gonna make room for that wine. 284 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,537 (mouthing) 285 00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:31,040 (exclaims, grunts) 286 00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:37,130 Hard to believe I didn't go to prom. 287 00:12:48,676 --> 00:12:50,084 What do we think? 288 00:12:50,178 --> 00:12:51,344 Does this pose say 289 00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:53,521 "my butt's never been dunked in toilet water"? 290 00:12:54,682 --> 00:12:56,257 What is taking him so long? 291 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,501 -Oh! (laughing) -Ooh! (laughing) 292 00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,353 I don't understand cricket, but I do understand 293 00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:02,171 a guy getting hit in the nuts. 294 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:03,615 Hey, balls hitting balls. 295 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:05,200 It's poetic. 296 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,012 Hey, uh, what's going on? 297 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,622 Oh, you've got to see these bloopers. 298 00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:13,016 The Phillie Phanatic's about to take a fastball to the nuts. 299 00:13:13,018 --> 00:13:14,700 They're all pretty much about 300 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,853 guys taking one to the nuts. 301 00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:19,964 Uh, what happened to getting us wine? 302 00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,342 Oh, right. 303 00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:24,861 Hey! 304 00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:27,363 You know what, uh, just keep it. 305 00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:28,973 I'll be hanging out in your bedroom, 306 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,141 and if you'd rather watch 307 00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:32,035 guys get hit in the testicles with your buddy, 308 00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,387 that's, it's fine, that's fine by me. 309 00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:38,299 Bruh, you have the coolest girlfriend. 310 00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:40,360 (sighs) 311 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,380 Hey. I shouldn't have kept you waiting. 312 00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:46,732 Carter was upset about his fight with Randi. 313 00:13:46,885 --> 00:13:48,976 (chuckles) He, he was even crying a little. 314 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,887 CARTER: The hell I was! 315 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:53,406 You know, I-I think I just want to go home. 316 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,982 What? No, no. 317 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,393 -We can turn this around. -Can we? 318 00:13:57,412 --> 00:13:59,896 I mean, this night has been off from the beginning. 319 00:13:59,914 --> 00:14:02,323 And it's not just the-the wine 320 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,233 or the TV or the freak hurricane 321 00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:05,568 that hit your bathroom. 322 00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:06,845 Wait, what? 323 00:14:07,072 --> 00:14:08,921 Climate change. 324 00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,682 It's fine. 325 00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:13,259 I just, I'll talk to you later. 326 00:14:13,411 --> 00:14:15,353 Okay. 327 00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:17,580 Okay. Bye. 328 00:14:17,599 --> 00:14:19,983 (door closes) 329 00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:26,072 What the hell?! 330 00:14:27,092 --> 00:14:28,274 (singsongy): I've got something 331 00:14:28,426 --> 00:14:30,184 to show you. 332 00:14:30,278 --> 00:14:32,871 I get it, your mole looks like Winnie the Pooh. 333 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,205 Go see a doctor. 334 00:14:34,432 --> 00:14:36,933 I got a video of your race with Randi. 335 00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:38,042 Really? 336 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:39,711 How'd you get it? 337 00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,104 Security cam. 338 00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:42,714 Let's just say my dalliance 339 00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,607 with a certain deputy mayor 340 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,609 finally paid off. 341 00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:50,388 Hey, y'all. I'm so excited to be auditioning 342 00:14:50,615 --> 00:14:53,391 for So You Think You Can Dance. 343 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,877 'Cause I think I can. 344 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,638 No, no, that's the wrong file. 345 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,149 I see. (chuckles) 346 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,477 Okay, here we go. 347 00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:06,145 I'm winning. 348 00:15:06,297 --> 00:15:07,813 Here's where we're close. 349 00:15:07,966 --> 00:15:10,158 Let's slow it down. 350 00:15:14,656 --> 00:15:15,930 She never touched me. 351 00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:18,583 She was pulling ahead when you fell. 352 00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:20,418 She spanked you. 353 00:15:21,312 --> 00:15:24,672 Just like I spanked that deputy mayor. 354 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,926 Well... 355 00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:30,411 I know what I got to do. 356 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,821 My audition! 357 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,339 What do you want me to do, Phil? 358 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,725 Tell my girlfriend the truth? 359 00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:39,604 Hey. 360 00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:41,180 How was your night with Max? 361 00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:42,665 Randi, do your thing. 362 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,442 They didn't have sex. 363 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,110 You know, I don't appreciate people talking 364 00:15:46,337 --> 00:15:48,004 about how I didn't have sex. 365 00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:49,614 It's like high school all over again. 366 00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,691 And college. 367 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,618 And my 30s. 368 00:15:53,845 --> 00:15:55,528 What happened, sweetheart? 369 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,862 I don't know. 370 00:15:57,015 --> 00:15:59,031 We went out for a romantic dinner. 371 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,533 It was super awkward. 372 00:16:00,609 --> 00:16:02,201 I thought I got attacked by a gator. 373 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,538 I fell in his toilet and my Spanx are in an oak tree. 374 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,281 Carter thought that was a beige raccoon. 375 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,126 He was so excited thinking he discovered a new species. 376 00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:12,286 This was only our first date. 377 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,880 What if it never gets better and Max and I were stupid 378 00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:16,549 to think we could ever be a couple? 379 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,367 Maybe this whole thing was a huge mistake. 380 00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,052 Let's keep some perspective here. 381 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,129 Those glasses were a huge mistake. 382 00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:25,966 It's not romantic dinners that will get you 383 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,301 through a lifetime together. 384 00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:30,488 It's the fact that you two are such good friends. 385 00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:33,140 That's the foundation for everything. 386 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,326 Look at your father and me. 387 00:16:35,553 --> 00:16:37,845 Dad did always say you were his best friend. 388 00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:40,164 I assumed it was a hostage situation. 389 00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:42,391 We loved being together. 390 00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:43,817 We made each other laugh. 391 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,653 Although we did tie each other up from time to time. 392 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,731 -Oh! -Okay! You are a freak. 393 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,417 We can have a talk when the children leave the room. 394 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,344 Yeah, thank you, you've been very helpful. 395 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,087 You've given me a lot to think about, 396 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,757 and one disturbing thing to try and forget. 397 00:16:57,925 --> 00:17:00,409 We used Kat's jump rope. 398 00:17:00,411 --> 00:17:02,562 Two things! 399 00:17:04,766 --> 00:17:06,507 -Hey. -Hey, what's that? 400 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,583 They're running shoes. 401 00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:09,527 I got them for CJ for his tryouts. 402 00:17:09,754 --> 00:17:11,604 Oh, really? Aw, thank you. 403 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,031 Ooh, and they're spiked. 404 00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:15,682 Fast around the track, hard on my ex-wife's floors. 405 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,260 Win-win. 406 00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:19,704 Yeah, I didn't know if you would have time to buy them yourself, 407 00:17:19,781 --> 00:17:22,022 you know, given how slow you are. 408 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,267 Look, there's no way for us to know for sure 409 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,451 what happened in that race. 410 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,713 So let's just blame Phil and move on. 411 00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:32,199 Fine, but can you do me a favor? 412 00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,868 Don't tell CJ that boys are faster than girls. 413 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,388 Because that's how the guys treated me on the track team, 414 00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,948 and it sucked. 415 00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:40,892 All right. 416 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,226 I'll see you. 417 00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:43,877 Hold up. 418 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,970 Yeah? 419 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:48,140 Uh, I saw security footage of our race, 420 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,643 and you didn't trip me. 421 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,053 Ha! I knew it. I beat your ass. 422 00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:55,389 Piano man, play "We Are the Champions." 423 00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:58,242 Not if you want to get paid, Lawrence. 424 00:17:58,394 --> 00:17:59,485 Listen. 425 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,138 There's something else I want to tell you. 426 00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:04,640 I think you should train CJ. 427 00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:05,658 Really? 428 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,752 Yeah, you ran track. 429 00:18:07,937 --> 00:18:09,478 You'd be a better coach. 430 00:18:09,572 --> 00:18:12,590 And it's hard for me to teach what's God-given. 431 00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:14,926 -Well, thank you. -Yeah. 432 00:18:15,153 --> 00:18:16,427 You think it'll be okay even though 433 00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:18,504 I don't have a penis full of speed? 434 00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:20,156 Yeah, that was stupid. 435 00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:23,184 Clearly you've got a lot of it in your boobs. 436 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,760 Hey, I got your text. 437 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,854 Everything all right? 438 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:37,356 Yeah, I just wanted to see you. 439 00:18:37,525 --> 00:18:39,117 Oh, okay. 440 00:18:39,344 --> 00:18:40,601 You said "important," 441 00:18:40,695 --> 00:18:42,787 so I thought you got locked on the roof again. 442 00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:44,271 (laughs) 443 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,623 So what's up? 444 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,683 Okay, well, um... 445 00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:49,352 I've been thinking. 446 00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:51,295 What's, like, your favorite moment 447 00:18:51,372 --> 00:18:52,688 we've ever spent together? 448 00:18:52,707 --> 00:18:53,873 Oh, that's easy. 449 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,191 The first time we ever sang together. 450 00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:57,468 "Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing? 451 00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,120 Yeah, karaoke contest at Warblers. 452 00:19:00,214 --> 00:19:01,881 We came in second to those frat boys 453 00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:03,382 doing "Bohemian Rhapsody." 454 00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:05,459 They didn't even know who Galileo was. 455 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,562 Yeah, idiots. 456 00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:13,651 So... what's yours? 457 00:19:15,062 --> 00:19:17,137 Sophomore year, the night we finished finals. 458 00:19:17,231 --> 00:19:19,490 -Aw. -We took a blanket to the park. 459 00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:21,717 We had pizza and beer. 460 00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:23,744 We're all growed up now. 461 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,374 And we made wishes on a shooting star. 462 00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:30,817 Mine... 463 00:19:30,912 --> 00:19:33,062 was that that night would never end. 464 00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:34,914 That's so sweet. 465 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,492 Mine was that Rob Schneider would make The Hot Chick 2. 466 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,070 (both laugh) 467 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,016 Max, I don't want to lose moments like that. 468 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,743 Like this. 469 00:19:47,762 --> 00:19:49,762 What? Why would we? 470 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,672 Because if this dating thing doesn't work out, 471 00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:54,233 it's gonna be weird. 472 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,030 So... 473 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,700 So you're saying that you don't want to do this? 474 00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:04,443 It's not worth it if it means 475 00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:07,038 we're never gonna be Kat and Max again. 476 00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:10,041 (exhales) 477 00:20:12,528 --> 00:20:14,212 I get why you're afraid. 478 00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:15,604 I am, too. 479 00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:17,440 But... 480 00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:20,626 I think that we have a chance at something 481 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,970 really special. 482 00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:26,224 So do I. 483 00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:27,950 And I can't promise 484 00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,010 that this is gonna work out, 485 00:20:30,121 --> 00:20:32,621 but I can promise 486 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,942 that you are never gonna lose me as a friend. 487 00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,885 How can you promise that? 488 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,054 Kat. 489 00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:44,033 You couldn't lose me if you tried. 490 00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:54,252 Should we go inside? 491 00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:55,978 Or should we stay right here? 492 00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:57,904 I don't think anybody can see us. 493 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,591 (whispers): He doesn't know about you. 494 00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:07,748 ♪ We need peace ♪ 495 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:11,227 ♪ We need love ♪ 496 00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:14,921 ♪ You're my beloved ♪ 497 00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:18,442 ♪ I'm not a boy ♪ 498 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:23,022 ♪ I've been around a little longer than 40 years now ♪ 499 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:26,099 ♪ And one thing that I know ♪ 500 00:21:26,193 --> 00:21:29,787 ♪ Is nothing, nothing changes ♪ 501 00:21:29,938 --> 00:21:34,350 ♪ If we'll just... ♪ 502 00:21:34,352 --> 00:21:36,685 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 503 00:21:36,704 --> 00:21:39,213 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org