1 00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:05,963 (TV playing faintly) 2 00:00:08,917 --> 00:00:10,175 What are you doing? 3 00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:12,845 I'm just really turned on by this movie. 4 00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:14,421 Hidden Figures? 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,474 It's about ladies who do math for the space program. 6 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:20,352 I know. Say it again. 7 00:00:21,747 --> 00:00:22,837 Oh. 8 00:00:22,931 --> 00:00:24,172 All right, well, 9 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,766 the one lady just filled up the chalkboard 10 00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:28,877 with all sorts of numbers and fraternity letters. 11 00:00:28,937 --> 00:00:30,103 (chuckles) 12 00:00:30,256 --> 00:00:32,847 Mmm. Are her mean male bosses impressed? 13 00:00:32,941 --> 00:00:35,092 Yeah, and they're a little mad about it. 14 00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:36,535 Yeah, they are. 15 00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:40,097 -(phone ringing) -Mm. Terrible timing. 16 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,448 It must be my mother. 17 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,100 Yeah, she must have sensed I was happy. 18 00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:44,935 Can't it wait an hour? 19 00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:46,270 An hour? 20 00:00:46,288 --> 00:00:47,454 I'm building in time to finish the movie. 21 00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:49,790 Geez. (sighs) 22 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,124 Hello, Mother. 23 00:00:51,277 --> 00:00:52,442 Katharine, I need you to go to the store 24 00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,202 -to get me some batteries. -(steady beeping) 25 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,113 Why would you need batteries at 10:00 at night? 26 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,413 Actually, don't answer that. 27 00:00:57,466 --> 00:00:59,374 Kat, the rocket's ready to launch. 28 00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:01,042 (whispers): Both rockets. 29 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:04,288 I'm sorry, but my smoke detector is beeping, 30 00:01:04,306 --> 00:01:06,381 and you know I can't drive myself. 31 00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:08,642 (sighs) I suppose I could shoot it down 32 00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,811 with your father's pistol. 33 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,297 I'll-I'll be right there. 34 00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:15,632 Also, I need milk. You're a dear. Bye. 35 00:01:15,725 --> 00:01:16,633 (groans) 36 00:01:16,726 --> 00:01:18,318 Wait, you're really gonna go? 37 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,062 Yeah. She's losing her eyesight. 38 00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:22,414 And when they took away her license, 39 00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:24,065 I promised I would help her out. 40 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,417 Okay. 41 00:01:25,644 --> 00:01:27,402 If you trust me alone with all these math ladies. 42 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,979 (scoffs) Very cute. 43 00:01:29,148 --> 00:01:32,482 You know I'm the only math lady who can factor your polynomials. 44 00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,760 -Yeah, factor me, baby. -(laughs) 45 00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:36,762 Okay, I'll be back soon. 46 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,473 (door opens, closes) 47 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:42,518 What are polynomials? 48 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,629 -Hello. -Ah. What took you so long? 49 00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:48,682 What did you do to your hair? 50 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:51,593 Did you drive here with your head out the window? 51 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,020 This is just my normal hair, Mother. 52 00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:55,763 And before you ask, yes, 53 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,117 this is what I wore to the store. 54 00:01:58,344 --> 00:01:59,618 Here's your milk and batteries. 55 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,027 Where's the smoke detector? 56 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,346 Oh, funny story. 57 00:02:02,364 --> 00:02:03,956 It wasn't the smoke detector beeping. 58 00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:05,182 It was the freezer. 59 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,442 -What? -The door was open. 60 00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,294 I didn't even know it beeped. 61 00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:12,205 My fault for not buying American. 62 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,092 Wonder where she put that gun. 63 00:02:16,044 --> 00:02:17,469 ♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪ 64 00:02:17,621 --> 00:02:19,972 ♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪ 65 00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,290 Hey, y'all. 66 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,050 (imitating): Hey, y'all. 67 00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:27,371 Sorry. We just spent five hours running errands with my mother, 68 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,464 and I think maybe Max has hit his limit. 69 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,542 An hour of looking at birthday cards for her friend Elaine, 70 00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:34,878 who she-- and I quote-- "isn't a big fan of," 71 00:02:34,897 --> 00:02:38,048 and, "Shoulders back, Max. Somebody here might know me," 72 00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:39,658 end quote. 73 00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:43,311 I haven't gotten a birthday card from my mother since I was 12. 74 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,314 It said, "My condolences, Steve." 75 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,742 I kept it. It means a lot to me. 76 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,395 Really? Your mom always sends me a birthday card. 77 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,230 I got a random one last week that just said, 78 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:55,749 "I'm proud of you." 79 00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:58,010 PHIL: Oh, everybody be cool. 80 00:02:58,161 --> 00:02:59,661 My crush is here. Quick. 81 00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,346 Laugh like I said something funny. 82 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,423 (laughter) 83 00:03:03,592 --> 00:03:07,978 Oh, Phil, jumbo shrimp. Which is it?! 84 00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:10,672 (chuckles): Oh, hey, Jalen. 85 00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:14,100 I didn't realize you walked in while I was amusing my friends. 86 00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:16,102 -Hey, everyone. -Hi. -Hey. 87 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:17,587 Hi, I'm Max, nice to meet you. 88 00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,923 Okay, enough of that. 89 00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:21,942 Straight people, am I right? 90 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:25,019 Uh, I'm Kat. I'm straight, too, but I'm cool. 91 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,706 -Eh. -(chuckles) 92 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:29,433 I just wanted to drop by 93 00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:31,451 and invite you all to my drag show tonight. 94 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,604 -Oh! -Got to show the boss I can put asses in seats, 95 00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:35,956 especially cute asses. 96 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,791 All right, I'll be there. 97 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,609 I don't think he meant you. 98 00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:41,202 Uh, okay. 99 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,371 (groans) Got to get back to court. 100 00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,873 Trying a case, and it might be a hung jury, 101 00:03:45,968 --> 00:03:47,634 but not the kind I like. 102 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,228 (laughs): Hung jury, that's funny. 103 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,788 Okay, tone it down there, Stretch. 104 00:03:52,624 --> 00:03:54,124 Well, I hope to see you all tonight. 105 00:03:54,142 --> 00:03:55,625 KAT AND RANDI: Bye. 106 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:59,238 Damn, Phil, a hot younger man who's also a lawyer? 107 00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:02,724 My boyfriend farts in the car and locks the windows. 108 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,801 (laughs) Hot box. 109 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,486 (phone ringing) 110 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,396 -Oh. My mother. -No, don't answer it. 111 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,064 -Don't. -No, it could be something important. 112 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,084 Maybe she's calling to tell me she's proud of me. 113 00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:14,828 It might be something important. 114 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,162 Hello. 115 00:04:16,315 --> 00:04:18,148 I lost my sunglasses while we were out today. 116 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:19,258 I need you to find them. 117 00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:21,075 M-Mother, I-I gave you my whole morning. 118 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,319 I have a life, too. 119 00:04:22,337 --> 00:04:25,155 Attagirl. Put it out into the world, 120 00:04:25,157 --> 00:04:26,556 and it will come true. 121 00:04:27,843 --> 00:04:29,434 Please? 122 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:30,677 (sighs) 123 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,179 I suppose Max and I could retrace our steps later. 124 00:04:33,348 --> 00:04:34,756 You're a dear, I really appreciate this. 125 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,776 Also, I need vodka. Not that cheap stuff you like. 126 00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:39,427 Okay, bye. 127 00:04:40,339 --> 00:04:41,947 I thought tonight was date night. 128 00:04:42,098 --> 00:04:43,840 We were gonna watch Life of Pi. 129 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,342 It's about math. 130 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,435 (chuckles) It's not about math. 131 00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:49,079 That's the boy's name. 132 00:04:50,699 --> 00:04:52,516 I hate this day. 133 00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:55,185 And then I said, "You can't put that in my mouth." 134 00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:56,536 -Oh. -(laughter) 135 00:04:56,705 --> 00:04:59,447 All right, baby, I don't want you to get jealous, 136 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:02,301 but gay guys got a queer eye for this straight guy. 137 00:05:02,528 --> 00:05:04,210 What? That doesn't surprise me. 138 00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,138 You have the looks of Michael B. Jordan 139 00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:08,473 and the arms of Michelle Obama. 140 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:09,866 Hey, girl. (laughs) 141 00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,978 Where'd you buy those boobs? I need to go shopping. 142 00:05:13,205 --> 00:05:15,555 (laughs): Got her! They are big! 143 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,298 I'm so sorry, honey. 144 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:21,153 -You need to be this tall to ride the ride. -(laughs) 145 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,562 But you are the perfect height to service it. 146 00:05:22,714 --> 00:05:25,324 Oh! Well, I do got the right tool for that job. 147 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:28,234 -(laughter) -All right, I'm next. 148 00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:30,070 Now, remember, no jealousy. 149 00:05:30,222 --> 00:05:32,238 Is it gonna be my hair, my body, 150 00:05:32,391 --> 00:05:35,292 my impossible-to-nail-down age? 151 00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:41,398 Oh, no, stop. I am so jealous. 152 00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:44,584 Never in my 30 to 45 years have I been ignored like that. 153 00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:45,677 (laughs) 154 00:05:46,572 --> 00:05:51,475 (gasps) Hey, guys, here she is, Queen Dicktoria. 155 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,744 -(chuckles): Oh. -Uh-oh. 156 00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:57,263 It looks like your queen has a lot of fans. 157 00:05:57,416 --> 00:06:00,567 Or are they waving at you, Carter? 158 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:05,680 Oh, no, I'm just a groupie. 159 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,258 It's Elton John all over again. 160 00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:11,995 "Tiny Dancer," that was me. 161 00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:16,433 Hello, Mother, we found your sunglasses. 162 00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:19,269 Oh, she must be asleep, let's go get our math movie on. 163 00:06:19,287 --> 00:06:20,995 (whispers): I have to pee. 164 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,196 Pee in a bush. 165 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:23,698 It's the only reason I came in. 166 00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:25,217 SHEILA: Katharine, is that you? 167 00:06:25,444 --> 00:06:26,109 Yep. 168 00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,961 Oh, I thought I heard you. 169 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:29,221 If you'd stuck with ballet, 170 00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:31,114 you wouldn't have that plodding gait. 171 00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:32,632 She has fat feet. 172 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,134 I have flat feet. 173 00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:35,727 -Both can be true. -(Max chuckles) 174 00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:37,287 -We found your sunglasses. -Oh. 175 00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:39,064 Yeah. They were not at the doctor's office, 176 00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:42,383 so we also checked the nail salon, the mall, 177 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,736 the blow-dry bar, and then I had Max drive, 178 00:06:44,888 --> 00:06:46,630 which turned out to be a smart thing, 179 00:06:46,648 --> 00:06:48,314 because do you know where I found your sunglasses? 180 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:50,558 Katharine, just land the plane. 181 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,318 Side pocket of the passenger door. 182 00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:55,805 Did you try these on? They seem bent. 183 00:06:55,974 --> 00:06:57,231 Max, let's go. 184 00:06:57,309 --> 00:06:59,476 Yoga's at 7:00 tomorrow, be here by 6:30. 185 00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:03,163 What? No. No. I cannot take you to yoga tomorrow. 186 00:07:03,315 --> 00:07:05,982 Well, if it's too much trouble to help your mother, 187 00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,834 I understand. 188 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,337 No, no, it's fine. I'll-I'll be here at 6:30. 189 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,432 Make it 6:15, you'll have to parallel park, 190 00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:16,351 and I know you need a couple shots at that. 191 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,229 (Kat sighs) 192 00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:24,109 Sheila, yeah, maybe you should try to find 193 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,518 another way to get to yoga. 194 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,261 I think Kat needs a break. 195 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,172 Oh, you heard her, she's fine. 196 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:30,431 I think she's just saying that 197 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,858 'cause she doesn't want to disappoint you. 198 00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:34,010 (scoffs) Since when? 199 00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:36,846 If she keeps having to drop everything to help you, 200 00:07:37,015 --> 00:07:38,606 she's gonna crack. 201 00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:44,111 You have no idea how much I hate depending on people. 202 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,614 Yeah, that's got to be so hard. 203 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,509 I can't even imag-- I'm sorry, I really got to pee. 204 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,810 (laughter) 205 00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:00,220 I spent 15 minutes at the bar, 206 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,721 and the only person that talked to me said, 207 00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,540 "Are you the guy who played Urkel?" 208 00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,892 (imitating Urkel): I did not do that. 209 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,894 Baby, settle down, it's okay. 210 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,062 (regular voice): It's not okay. 211 00:08:09,214 --> 00:08:10,322 I did 300 squats today. 212 00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,065 I mean, I came in here dragging a wagon, 213 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,733 and not one person asked for a ride. 214 00:08:13,885 --> 00:08:16,553 DAME BOOTY CLENCH (British accent): Our final act of the night 215 00:08:16,571 --> 00:08:20,314 swings the biggest scepter in Tuckingham Palace. 216 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,818 Please welcome the spoiled royal, 217 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,079 Queen Dicktoria. 218 00:08:26,155 --> 00:08:28,465 (applause, cheering) 219 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:32,493 Time to cheer along with my sister wives. 220 00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:34,763 ("Big Spender" playing) 221 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,078 ♪ The minute you walked in the joint ♪ 222 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,674 ♪ I could see you were a man of distinction ♪ 223 00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:49,269 ♪ A real big spender ♪ 224 00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:52,422 ♪ You're good-looking, so refined ♪ 225 00:08:52,424 --> 00:08:54,348 ♪ Say, wouldn't you like ♪ 226 00:08:54,426 --> 00:08:57,518 ♪ To know what's going on in my mind? ♪ 227 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,779 ♪ So let me get right to the point ♪ 228 00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:06,193 ♪ I don't pop my cork for every man I see ♪ 229 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:10,882 -♪ Hey, big spender ♪ -♪ Hey, big spender ♪ 230 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:13,367 ♪ Spend ♪ 231 00:09:13,461 --> 00:09:17,973 ♪ A little time with me. ♪ 232 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,894 Oh, that is so sweet. 233 00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:25,522 Suck it, hoes, I'm her favorite. 234 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,144 Whoa, how late were y'all out last night? 235 00:09:31,296 --> 00:09:33,405 I got in at 4:00. 236 00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:36,441 Jalen's friends wanted to go to a club after. 237 00:09:36,668 --> 00:09:39,911 -I'm gonna go lay down. -Wait, in my bed? 238 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:43,623 Don't worry, I'll keep my drawers on this time. 239 00:09:46,144 --> 00:09:47,401 -Oh, no. -Oh. 240 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:49,979 -Hello, all. -Morning, Sheila. 241 00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:54,075 If you're looking for Kat, she's, uh, at the zoo. 242 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,169 Yeah, yeah, she at the zoo. 243 00:09:56,321 --> 00:10:00,824 So, she didn't just duck behind the counter when I came in? 244 00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:02,175 No. No duck. 245 00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:03,918 But you know where there are ducks? 246 00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:06,646 At the zoo where she at. 247 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,256 Well, if you see her, 248 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:11,351 tell her that I'm not going to ask her 249 00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:13,111 to do anything for me anymore. 250 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:15,338 -Hello, Mother. -Oh. 251 00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:17,023 Why'd you say I was at the zoo? 252 00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,675 I was just... I was just seeing 253 00:10:18,768 --> 00:10:21,119 if the, uh, counter is still connected to the floor. 254 00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:24,122 Breaking news, it is. (laughs) 255 00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:25,865 Well, I have news, too. 256 00:10:26,017 --> 00:10:29,276 I found something that's gonna make both of our lives easier. 257 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,445 Just land the plane, Mother. 258 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:36,468 I'm thinking of moving into an active senior community. 259 00:10:36,695 --> 00:10:37,543 What? 260 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,137 It's called Valley Hills. 261 00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:42,474 Imagine the Four Seasons meets Eyes Wide Shut 262 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:43,883 with dinner at 4:30. 263 00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:46,478 Ooh, how old do you have to be to live there? 264 00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:48,313 What-what, are you gonna sell the house? 265 00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:50,390 I'd have to. I'm on a fixed income, 266 00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:52,542 and my only daughter runs a business 267 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,879 that's increasingly difficult to explain. 268 00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:57,972 It's the cats. Nobody gets the damn cats. 269 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,807 Everybody loves the cats! 270 00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:03,477 Look, I-I know I complained about yesterday, 271 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,146 but I really don't mind helping you out. 272 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,056 But there's a lot of upsides to this. 273 00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:09,984 They have a lovely spa, three restaurants, 274 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,837 and a complimentary shuttle that doesn't whine 275 00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:15,489 if I want to stop at Pier 1. 276 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,659 You don't need more wind chimes. 277 00:11:19,754 --> 00:11:21,754 Just, I can't believe you're gonna sell the house. 278 00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:24,165 This is a lot to process right now. 279 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:28,061 Kat, we're out of conditioner. 280 00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:33,340 Ooh, if I prepay the first year, 281 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,027 they'll throw in the premium liquor package. 282 00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:37,420 (chuckles): Oh, Valley Hills. 283 00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:40,590 I am about to wreck your bottom line. 284 00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:43,943 You're not seriously considering that dump, are you? 285 00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,278 I enjoyed the tour. 286 00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:46,946 And I can get a room with a balcony, 287 00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:50,458 if Mr. Murray's heart surgery doesn't go well. 288 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,953 You are not gonna like it there. 289 00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:55,362 You're gonna end up in a room 290 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,215 next to some guy with an oxygen tank. 291 00:11:57,366 --> 00:11:58,791 You'll nickname him Wheezy. 292 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,461 Then after one too many at Merlot Monday, 293 00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:03,921 you'll be like, "Hey, Wheezy, let's spark up a doobie." 294 00:12:04,148 --> 00:12:05,539 And then, boom. 295 00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:08,618 Wheezy's toupee lights up like a menorah on the eighth night. 296 00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:11,378 I'm not befriending anyone with a toupee, 297 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,881 but the rest of that story sounded fun. 298 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:17,460 Yeah, fine. Sell the house, move in there. 299 00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:19,220 But when you realize that this was a huge mistake, 300 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,573 you are not coming to live with me. 301 00:12:21,724 --> 00:12:22,699 Promise? 302 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,076 I-I'm serious. 303 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:27,061 I think this is a bad idea. 304 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,748 -You are gonna hate being with all those old people. -It's not your decision. 305 00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:34,085 I'm doing it, and I don't really care if you approve. 306 00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:36,629 -Fine. -Fine. 307 00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:41,651 Huh. Look at that. A Pier 1. 308 00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:43,678 (chuckles) Not gonna stop. 309 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,508 -When were y'all gonna tell me? -All right, all right. 310 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:52,086 Al Roker didn't write you that letter, I did. 311 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,346 I'm talking about my body. 312 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,774 I put on some pounds, let myself go. 313 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:57,517 Wait, you wrote that letter? 314 00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,019 So he's not coming here to play pickleball with me? 315 00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:02,113 What are you talking about, you put on pounds? 316 00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:04,532 I love your body. 317 00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,237 No, I'm doubling down, I love your body. 318 00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,348 Wait, are you still mad that a room full of gay men 319 00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:14,367 didn't sexually harass you? 320 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,019 It makes no sense. 321 00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:18,187 My personality? Sparkling. 322 00:13:18,281 --> 00:13:19,613 My hair? On point. 323 00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:23,209 My eyes? You need a lifeguard or you'll drown in 'em. 324 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:27,196 Your vanity? Astounding. Your self-esteem? Misguided. 325 00:13:27,215 --> 00:13:29,474 She doesn't see what I see. 326 00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:35,555 Sorry, I overslept, and I can't find my drawers. 327 00:13:35,707 --> 00:13:37,223 You go out again last night? 328 00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:40,376 Jalen and I closed down a dueling piano bar. 329 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,304 It was like yours, but there were tons of people there. 330 00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:46,991 Could've just said you went to a bar, man. 331 00:13:47,218 --> 00:13:48,809 -(beeping) -What the hell? 332 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,144 My brownies! 333 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,997 Just so you know, I see you, too. 334 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,490 Oh, my poor brownies. 335 00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:07,570 And how in the world did my drawers end up in the oven? 336 00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:09,347 I know you like Jalen, 337 00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:11,165 but you're gonna have to take a night off. 338 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,335 I can't. Jalen has a lot of men after him. 339 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,246 And if I'm not there, he'll be hounded 340 00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:20,191 by that hussy Allen from LensCrafters. 341 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:22,343 Jalen will still like you 342 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,270 if he finds out your bedtime is 9:30. 343 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,847 9:30? Maybe if I did cocaine. 344 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,424 CARTER: Hey, Randi, is this sexy? 345 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,743 I want to take a picture for Phil's friends. 346 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,539 Chin up. Flex a little. 347 00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:35,707 No. 348 00:14:37,102 --> 00:14:38,859 I got you. I know your angles. 349 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,503 (high-pitched scream) 350 00:14:42,123 --> 00:14:44,198 -(line rings, beeps) -Hey, it's Sheila. 351 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,958 Leave a message after the beep. 352 00:14:46,111 --> 00:14:49,295 -And stay frosty. -(beeps) 353 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:51,280 Hello, Mother, this is Katharine. 354 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,299 This is message number seven. 355 00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:55,727 Please listen to them in order. 356 00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:57,562 When you start cleaning out my room, 357 00:14:57,789 --> 00:15:00,957 do not throw away my Best at Algebra trophy 358 00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:03,292 or my Most Improved Hall Monitor award. 359 00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:05,686 Cost me three weeks' allowance to get those made. 360 00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:07,813 Don't forget your homemade Grammy 361 00:15:07,966 --> 00:15:11,117 for your "Tattling Gets a Bad Rap" rap. 362 00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:13,411 (chuckles): Dad? 363 00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,914 ♪ It's not uncool to know the rules ♪ 364 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:17,248 ♪ To tell the teacher ♪ 365 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,917 BOTH: ♪ On those fools. ♪ 366 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:20,401 (laughs) 367 00:15:20,495 --> 00:15:22,420 It's really good to see you, how are you doing? 368 00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:26,841 Well, you know, not bad for being dead. 369 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,835 What's up with you, kiddo? 370 00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,504 Oh, a lot. 371 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,080 I've got a boyfriend. 372 00:15:33,174 --> 00:15:35,082 The café's doing really well. 373 00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:36,267 Mom's selling the house 374 00:15:36,494 --> 00:15:38,327 'cause I didn't want to take her to yoga. 375 00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:39,586 I know. 376 00:15:39,755 --> 00:15:41,422 You bought that house when you guys got married. 377 00:15:41,516 --> 00:15:42,589 I grew up there. 378 00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:43,975 It was a great house. 379 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:46,169 She says she wants to move into a retirement home. 380 00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:49,021 Good news is, she'll get that room with a balcony. 381 00:15:49,174 --> 00:15:51,616 I have inside information. 382 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,117 You've got to stop her, Dad. 383 00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:55,269 Haunt the crap out of her. 384 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,288 Let me ask you a question. 385 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,441 Are you sure what you're upset about is the house? 386 00:16:01,202 --> 00:16:02,609 Yeah, I don't want her selling it. 387 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,855 Plus, Mom doesn't belong in a place like that, 388 00:16:05,948 --> 00:16:07,781 with all those old people. 389 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,116 Kat. 390 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:10,969 Your mother is getting older. 391 00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:13,137 And if you tell her I said that, 392 00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:15,531 I will haunt the crap out of you. 393 00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:19,126 I just still see her as the young, vibrant woman 394 00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,980 who packed cigarettes in my lunch so I could make friends. 395 00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,465 (laughs) And then you turned her in to the principal 396 00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:27,819 and gave yourself a citizenship award. 397 00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:30,989 Just, those senior communities are 398 00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,199 usually the last stop before... 399 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,496 Just, I don't even want to think about it. 400 00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:42,316 It's possible you're not the only one 401 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,711 having a hard time with this. 402 00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:50,383 Yeah. You're right. 403 00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,556 Hey, you should be wearing a seat belt. 404 00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:58,924 What's gonna happen? 405 00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,352 (scoffs) 406 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,171 Are these your mother's sunglasses? 407 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,524 -Oh, son of a bitch. -Kat. 408 00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:09,510 ♪ When you hear a good friend cuss ♪ 409 00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:11,604 ♪ The thing you got to do is make a fuss ♪ 410 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,273 -(beatboxing) -♪ Tell the teacher 'cause that ain't cool ♪ 411 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,849 ♪ And get that cussing kid sent ♪ 412 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,869 BOTH: ♪ Home from school. ♪ 413 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:20,096 (laughing) 414 00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:23,041 Oh, Dad. I really... 415 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,088 ...miss you. 416 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:32,383 -Hi. -Oh. 417 00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,277 What are you doing here? 418 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:37,329 Oh, you, uh, left your sunglasses in my car again. 419 00:17:37,481 --> 00:17:38,781 I was leaving them for you. 420 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,967 Your big Charlie Brown head stretched them out. 421 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,120 What do we have here? 422 00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:45,788 (chuckles): Oh, yep. 423 00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:48,140 You really stole the spotlight at my bat mitzvah, didn't you? 424 00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:49,901 You started rapping. 425 00:17:50,052 --> 00:17:53,029 I had to show some skin to distract people. 426 00:17:53,889 --> 00:17:54,572 (sighs) 427 00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:57,283 Look, I'm sorry about earlier. 428 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,227 I got you this. 429 00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:04,731 Oh, Katharine, that's so thoughtful. 430 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,733 (chiming) 431 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:07,977 Oh. 432 00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:09,812 They're for your new place. 433 00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,756 Thank you. (chuckles) 434 00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:14,317 Is the receipt in the bag? 435 00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:17,261 Look, if, if Valley Hills is what you want, 436 00:18:17,488 --> 00:18:19,913 -I support you 100%. -(scoffs) 437 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,342 Of course it's not what I want. 438 00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:27,012 I wanted to grow old here with my husband. 439 00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:29,014 I wanted to have perfect vision. 440 00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:32,335 I wanted to have many grandbabies. 441 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:35,780 I'm sorry things have not worked out the way you planned. 442 00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,523 And you're right, I have not given you 443 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,858 any grandbabies yet, 444 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,693 but I have given you many grand-kittens. 445 00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:45,373 Oh, Katharine, you always know the exact wrong thing to say. 446 00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:49,293 Wherever you go, 447 00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:52,755 whatever you need, I'll be here. 448 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,424 Thank you. 449 00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:59,971 I know I don't tell you this enough, 450 00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:03,057 but I raised a wonderful daughter. 451 00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:09,555 You know, um, 452 00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:12,558 Valley Hills is known for its robust theater program. 453 00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,468 Maybe we could finally star in Gypsy. 454 00:19:14,562 --> 00:19:18,447 Again, the exact wrong thing to say. 455 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,904 -Hey, everyone. -Hi. 456 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,055 -So glad you made it. -Hey. 457 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,907 -Oh, you look beautiful. -Aw. 458 00:19:28,075 --> 00:19:29,483 I loved your song. 459 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:34,005 I've never seen anybody twerk to Sinatra before. 460 00:19:34,232 --> 00:19:36,248 Well, you know, "I did it my way." 461 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,842 (laughter) 462 00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:39,568 Phil, I need to talk to you. 463 00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:41,420 Oh, is that bitch Allen from LensCrafters here? 464 00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:45,099 -You've seen his overbite, haven't you? -(chuckles) 465 00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:49,428 Listen, I got to be honest. 466 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,747 Going out every night is killing me. 467 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:52,857 What? 468 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:55,693 I know you're kind of a party animal. 469 00:19:55,844 --> 00:20:00,089 (laughs): Well, true dat, as you kids say. 470 00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:01,515 And Queen Dicktoria is, too, 471 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:05,277 but, well, Jalen is more of a homebody. 472 00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:07,446 His idea of a good time is an Aperol Spritz 473 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,615 and a couple episodes of Love Island. 474 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,544 (sighs) Fake tans, real drama? 475 00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,104 Sign me up. 476 00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:17,606 Thank you for understanding. 477 00:20:17,775 --> 00:20:22,869 Please, I'd be happy doing anything with you. 478 00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:24,472 Me, too. 479 00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:31,971 (giggles softly) 480 00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:36,809 Oh, girl, save some Botox for the rest of us. 481 00:20:36,961 --> 00:20:38,236 I'm actually laughing. 482 00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:41,072 You just can't tell because my eyebrows don't move. 483 00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:44,800 (laughs) Oh, and who's this handsome devil? 484 00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,652 Me? I'm handsome? 485 00:20:46,804 --> 00:20:50,414 Is that your usual haircut or are you just happy to see me? 486 00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:52,491 Aw, Dame Booty Clench, 487 00:20:52,643 --> 00:20:55,253 you just made a young-to-middle-aged man's 488 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,754 dream come true. 489 00:20:58,073 --> 00:20:59,482 And this one. 490 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,677 Oh, whatever you're gonna say, my mother's beat you to it. 491 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,911 ♪ ♪ 492 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,430 ♪ Hey ♪ 493 00:21:07,508 --> 00:21:09,058 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 494 00:21:09,677 --> 00:21:11,352 ♪ All right ♪ 495 00:21:12,847 --> 00:21:14,272 ♪ I'm gon' do what I want ♪ 496 00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:16,440 ♪ Do the crime, don't get caught ♪ 497 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:20,336 ♪ 'Cause I'm breaking all the rules today ♪ 498 00:21:20,354 --> 00:21:22,354 ♪ Don't try so hard ♪ 499 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:26,450 ♪ Do what I feel, they ain't stoppin' me ♪ 500 00:21:28,179 --> 00:21:30,538 ♪ Can you keep up with me? ♪ 501 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,699 ♪ Can you keep up with me? ♪ 502 00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:36,127 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 503 00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:38,713 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org