1
00:00:02,152 --> 00:00:04,228
Okay, y'all,
Randi asked me to make
2
00:00:04,246 --> 00:00:06,563
a Thanksgiving-themed smoothie.
3
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,565
I was thinking
something with pumpkin spice.
4
00:00:08,658 --> 00:00:11,343
It costs the same,
but we get to charge 12 bucks.
5
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:13,904
Ooh, I am so thankful
for bougie fools.
6
00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:16,907
And the reason
I didn't use pumpkin spice is
7
00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:20,410
that I don't wear yoga pants
and I'm not a basic bitch.
8
00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:22,170
(laughs)
9
00:00:22,264 --> 00:00:24,172
Ooh. Aw, hell no.
10
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:27,100
That goes down like something
that already came back up.
11
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,603
It's Mama's
green bean casserole.
12
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:32,197
It's got cream
of mushroom soup and almonds.
13
00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:35,275
Dang, I forgot the fried onions.
14
00:00:35,427 --> 00:00:38,078
-Let me try it
with a little vodka.
-Mm.
15
00:00:40,599 --> 00:00:42,041
Much better.
16
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:43,525
Hi, everybody.
17
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,435
What the hell
are you two wearing?
18
00:00:45,529 --> 00:00:48,380
Oh, just a little matching
Thanksgiving hilarity.
19
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:51,441
-"She's my sweet potato."
-"I yam."
20
00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:54,536
Okay, this is whiter
than the first Thanksgiving.
21
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,056
So, what are you all doing
for Turkey Day?
22
00:00:57,207 --> 00:01:00,450
Same thing I always do,
feed the desperate and needy.
23
00:01:00,469 --> 00:01:03,287
But hopefully Katharine has
other plans this year.
24
00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:05,138
(laughs):
She's kidding.
25
00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:06,973
She's never invited me
for Thanksgiving.
26
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,234
Well, CJ is spending it
with his mom,
27
00:01:09,461 --> 00:01:11,719
so Randi's gonna cook for me
all day.
28
00:01:11,797 --> 00:01:13,922
(scoffs) Randi better be
the name of your DoorDasher.
29
00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:17,076
I'm camping out all day to get
a good spot on Black Friday.
30
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,912
-You getting a new TV?
-Nah, I'm not buying anything.
31
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:21,972
Just there for the fights.
32
00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:23,248
How about you, Phil?
33
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,475
Are you taking Jalen home
to meet your family?
34
00:01:25,494 --> 00:01:28,662
Oh, no, no, no. We just
started seeing each other.
35
00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:31,256
Plus, the Crumpler family
Thanksgiving can get
36
00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:32,666
a little rowdy.
37
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,987
Last year's pig wrestle sent
two cousins to the ER.
38
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,006
Well,
since everyone's available,
39
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,583
we should do a Friendsgiving.
40
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,935
(overlapping agreements)
41
00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:45,270
-I'm happy to host.
-(others groan)
42
00:01:45,422 --> 00:01:47,106
What?
43
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,999
Kat-- how can I say this?
44
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,442
Your parties suck.
45
00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:52,444
And that's nicer than
the way I was gonna put it.
46
00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:56,173
My parties are fun.
Max, back me up here.
47
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,600
Ain't no party
like a Kat Silver party
48
00:01:58,677 --> 00:02:02,788
'cause a Kat Silver party's
got nonalcoholic punch.
49
00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:04,514
We were scrapbooking.
50
00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,366
You can't have
a bunch of drunk people
51
00:02:06,518 --> 00:02:08,535
wielding scissors
all willy-nilly.
52
00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:12,780
-This party's
gonna be different.
-Are you sure?
53
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,707
I yam!
54
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,026
-(others groaning)
-Up top? No?
55
00:02:16,119 --> 00:02:17,469
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
56
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,888
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
57
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:22,624
Why isn't Katharine
letting us in?
58
00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:25,218
Maybe the cats finally got her.
59
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,812
I need to eat soon.
60
00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:29,297
-Phil is starting to look
like a cartoon drumstick.
-Ha!
61
00:02:29,391 --> 00:02:32,392
A drumstick wishes
it was this juicy.
62
00:02:32,544 --> 00:02:34,211
Carter has
a Thanksgiving protocol.
63
00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:35,970
He doesn't eat for 48 hours,
64
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,049
-and then he shows up
in maternity pants.
-That's right.
65
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:42,494
Tonight, I'm getting
knocked up with a food baby.
66
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,146
Do we have any idea
what Kat has planned?
67
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,981
Last night, she was
writing things on index cards
68
00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:51,670
and giggling, so I'm thinking
Thanksgiving Mad Libs.
69
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:53,246
(all groaning)
70
00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:54,506
Kat's parties are so adjective,
71
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:58,235
I'm gonna go verb myself
with a loaded noun.
72
00:02:58,237 --> 00:02:59,569
Good evening, everyone.
73
00:02:59,738 --> 00:03:01,513
I hope you're ready
for a night of glamorous fun.
74
00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:05,184
It's gonna be hotsy-totsy,
and that's no applesauce.
75
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,260
You've got to be
adverb kidding me.
76
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,429
Why are you dressed like that?
77
00:03:09,581 --> 00:03:12,557
You'll learn.
I stopped asking years ago.
78
00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:14,100
Why, I'm Kitty Vanderhuff,
79
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:17,087
America's wealthiest
cat food tycoon.
80
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:19,105
Our kibble is the cat's pajamas.
81
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:21,849
We also make cat's pajamas.
82
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,928
Now, if all you chippies
and cake-eaters are ready
83
00:03:24,947 --> 00:03:25,946
for a real humdinger,
84
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,523
let's fly on up
to the cuckoo's nest.
85
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:31,859
-Let's go upstairs.
-You hear that, baby?
86
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,587
Mama's gonna eat.
87
00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,198
(jazz music playing)
88
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,292
-Ooh!
-Oh, man.
89
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:42,128
We're going back to the 1920s.
I love it.
90
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,889
Although that means
us confirmed bachelors
91
00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:45,282
can't kiss in public.
92
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:48,952
Oh, who cares,
there's cocaine in the soda pop.
93
00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:50,395
1920s? Hold up.
94
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:52,138
If Randi and I got to eat
in the kitchen,
95
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,790
-I'm calling Al Sharpton.
-(Kat laughs)
96
00:03:53,883 --> 00:03:56,884
No, all are welcome
at Kitty Vanderhuff's table.
97
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,071
And to prove
that I throw fun parties,
98
00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:00,906
I've come up with a theme
for this evening,
99
00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:05,077
and the theme is...
(gasps) murder.
100
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:06,578
(dramatic sting plays)
101
00:04:06,805 --> 00:04:10,732
Wow, honey,
a murder mystery Thanksgiving.
102
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,808
Yay.
103
00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:14,402
All right,
let's meet the victim.
104
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,738
If you please.
Earlier today,
105
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,590
Tom Turkey was found
decapitated,
106
00:04:18,742 --> 00:04:20,408
plucked, and stuffed,
107
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,077
and one of you
in this very room is...
108
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,579
the murderer.
109
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,156
(dramatic sting plays)
110
00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,008
You sure it didn't
die of boredom
111
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:29,726
from one of your parties?
112
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:32,938
We're not eating for a while,
are we?
113
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:34,472
KAT:
Not true.
114
00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:37,851
Alexa, how long does it take
to cook a 20-pound turkey?
115
00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:41,171
ALEXA:
It is recommended to cook
a 20-pound turkey
116
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:45,191
for four hours and 15 minutes
at 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
117
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:47,435
Four hours and 15 minutes?!
118
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:51,999
Alexa, how long before
a human starves to death?
119
00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:56,536
ALEXA:
Approximately 21 days.
120
00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,021
This is horrible.
121
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,115
Till we eat, I'm just a man
in maternity pants.
122
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,135
Now, inside of these bags,
123
00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:05,028
you'll find
your character backstory,
124
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:07,881
props and an alibi for...
125
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,549
the murder.
126
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,793
(dramatic sting plays)
127
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,703
Give me that, or there's
gonna be another murder.
128
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:17,374
No big deal,
because I have...
129
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:21,711
-a backup.
-(dramatic sting plays)
130
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,897
Who knew I'd miss Mad Libs?
131
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,658
All right, Randi,
tell 'em who you are.
132
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,401
Okay, uh, well, it says here
133
00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:30,387
-that I am-- Oh.
-She's my daughter!
She's my daughter.
134
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:31,854
We've always best friends,
135
00:05:31,856 --> 00:05:34,391
but since blooming into
womanhood, she's more interested
136
00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:36,835
in the attention
of gentleman callers.
137
00:05:36,986 --> 00:05:40,188
Yeah, you're right,
we should've gotten high.
138
00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:42,415
Cool, I'm Mayor McCheese.
139
00:05:42,568 --> 00:05:45,677
Oh, it's Mayor McChase.
Sorry. Typo.
140
00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:48,755
Don't be sorry, Mayor McCheese
commends Ms. Vanderhuff
141
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,074
on this fine celebration.
142
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,518
Shamrock Shakes for everyone!
143
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,837
I'm a world-class jockey
144
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,582
and three-time
Kentucky Derby Champion.
145
00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:01,509
I get it, I'm short.
146
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:04,588
I was a preeminent surgeon
in the Army,
147
00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:08,182
who saw things during
the Great War that changed me.
148
00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:11,111
-And what else?
-I have a crush on Kitty.
149
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:12,996
Darn tootin', you do.
150
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:15,281
Max, who are you?
151
00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,766
Uh, a brilliant
college professor.
152
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:20,528
I won the Nobel Prize
for my work in thermochemistry.
153
00:06:20,622 --> 00:06:22,622
Great, I'm the nerd.
154
00:06:23,609 --> 00:06:25,550
Really, Katharine?
I'm your maid?
155
00:06:25,702 --> 00:06:27,219
(chuckles) Tut-tut.
156
00:06:27,446 --> 00:06:28,945
I rescued you off the street
157
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:31,765
when you got too old
to be a prostitute.
158
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,302
This is the first costume
I've ever worn
159
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,805
that my father would approve of.
160
00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:40,607
I'll be right back.
161
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,551
He is such a delight.
162
00:06:43,645 --> 00:06:46,646
If he were straight
and 20 years younger,
163
00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:48,073
he'd be perfect for me.
164
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:50,150
He's sweet, he's smart.
165
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:53,470
He makes me feel like
I'm the only person in the room.
166
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:56,973
Look at me, falling for him
at the speed of lesbian.
167
00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,308
(laughing)
168
00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:01,068
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
169
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:04,147
Unlikely friends, secret allies,
170
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,499
perhaps partners in... murder?
171
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,168
(fart noise)
172
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,336
Okay, who messed with my button?
173
00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:14,474
Hmm, looks like another mystery.
174
00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:17,269
This is the worst party ever,
175
00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:20,105
and I've been to an adult bris.
176
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:21,514
You know what?
177
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,758
You're a worse maid
than you were a prostitute,
178
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,351
and you were
an awful prostitute.
179
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,572
Al Capone called,
he wants his penny back.
180
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,601
If you keep looking at your
phone, Kat's gonna kick you out.
181
00:07:33,695 --> 00:07:35,862
Actually, that's a good idea.
Give me that.
182
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,349
(groans) I sent this record
label my demo over a week ago.
183
00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:41,609
I just really need
some good news.
184
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,870
The phonograph is a fad,
it'll never catch on.
185
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,873
Now, put away that cell blower,
or it's 23 skidoo for you.
186
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,085
Well, I was looking at it, too,
if you want me to Scooby-Doo.
187
00:07:51,196 --> 00:07:53,287
This label is perfect for me.
188
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:54,639
They only have a few artists.
189
00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:59,052
Although one of them is
Kenny Chesney... 's cousin.
190
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:02,706
Max, can you just put that away
for a few hours
191
00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:04,708
and be part of this party?
192
00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:06,300
I can, I just don't want to.
193
00:08:06,394 --> 00:08:08,561
What is wrong with you people?!
194
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,880
It's like you're not even
trying to have fun.
195
00:08:10,899 --> 00:08:13,399
You know, when I bought
these decorations at Party City,
196
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,309
the cashier said,
"Wow, I'm so jealous.
197
00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:16,828
Y'all are gonna have
a good time."
198
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:19,164
Well, you know what, Donna?
I'm the jealous one now.
199
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:20,740
I wish it were me driving
200
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,335
all the unsold Halloween crap
to the dump.
201
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,671
I'm trying. I checked
every side dish for clues.
202
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:31,092
The real mystery is
who stole all the flavor?
203
00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:37,590
All right, guys,
Kat worked really hard on this.
204
00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:39,667
So let's show her
how much we appreciate it
205
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,910
by having some fun.
206
00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,020
Thank you.
207
00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:44,414
By making it a drinking game!
208
00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:45,582
(cheering)
209
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,674
No. No, no.
210
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,342
We don't need drinking
to make it fun.
211
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,861
I mean, it's already
a logical deduction game.
212
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:53,273
How about every time Katharine
bosses us around, we drink?
213
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:55,200
No, no, we are not doing that.
214
00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:56,943
She bossed us. Drink!
215
00:08:57,095 --> 00:08:59,079
(cheering)
216
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,043
-(jazz music playing)
-No snacking.
217
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,545
Here you go.
Since it's Prohibition,
218
00:09:06,772 --> 00:09:09,289
I had to get the booze from
a couple of shady bootleggers.
219
00:09:09,457 --> 00:09:11,716
They tried to give me
the "rum-around."
220
00:09:11,943 --> 00:09:14,210
Dear God,
only you could ruin alcohol.
221
00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,871
So, how do we wrap this game up?
222
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,616
Oh, we've hardly scratched
the surface of the fun.
223
00:09:19,634 --> 00:09:21,284
First you gather clues,
224
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,210
then after many hours
of sifting through evidence,
225
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,470
you make an accusation.
226
00:09:24,623 --> 00:09:26,973
It was Carter. Game over.
Let's frigging eat.
227
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,766
Excuse me? I didn't do it.
228
00:09:28,993 --> 00:09:33,129
And I'm the mayor, so you may
refer to me as "Your Highness."
229
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:36,057
Okay, new rule, anyone
who makes a wrong accusation
230
00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:37,467
has to drink.
231
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,136
I accuse the groundskeeper.
232
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,729
There is no groundskeeper.
233
00:09:41,823 --> 00:09:42,730
Oh, I know.
234
00:09:43,475 --> 00:09:45,491
-It was the maid.
-(others gasp)
235
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,327
Tom Turkey knew
she was spit shining
236
00:09:47,479 --> 00:09:49,254
more than the jockey's shoes.
237
00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:52,315
(gasps) You treacherous bitch.
238
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:54,575
Seriously, me and the maid?
239
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:58,488
I don't mind being straight,
but really, the help?
240
00:09:58,506 --> 00:10:00,673
I'll tell you
who I think it was--
241
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,601
our host, Fancy Puffenstuff.
242
00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:04,102
-(others gasps)
-Oh, it's true.
243
00:10:04,329 --> 00:10:05,711
Look at those ham hands.
244
00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:08,106
She could strangle a buffalo.
245
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:10,758
Why, I would never
hurt Tom Turkey.
246
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,927
He was my...
Randi, get the button ready.
247
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:14,929
Nope.
248
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,115
Fine. He was my...
249
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:20,118
-father. "Dun, dun..."
-(fart noise)
250
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:21,511
All right. Who has the button?
251
00:10:21,604 --> 00:10:25,624
Yeah, it was definitely
the button.
252
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,462
You don't know
what it's like to be mayor.
253
00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:32,613
All those citizens,
254
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,965
all those potholes,
255
00:10:34,117 --> 00:10:37,543
having to carry around
that big-ass key to the city.
256
00:10:37,696 --> 00:10:39,787
Well, you don't know what
it's like being Kat's daughter.
257
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,032
I know it's pretend,
but the embarrassment is real.
258
00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:45,310
(ice rattling)
259
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:47,553
So, Professor,
as a colleague of Edison's,
260
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,814
I'm curious what you think
of Nikola Tesla.
261
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,298
Oh, that dude's awesome.
262
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,319
Great cars,
even better cough drops.
263
00:10:54,546 --> 00:10:57,489
♪ Ni-ko-la! ♪
264
00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:01,217
(laughing)
265
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,643
This is the best Thanksgiving
266
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:05,497
since Katharine's father and I
went to Honolulu.
267
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:10,226
We swam with the dolphins
and had sex on the USS Arizona.
268
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:13,913
I've never been, but I sure
watched a lot of Magnum, P.I.
269
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:17,384
The mystery was, "Am I gay?"
And he solved it.
270
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,920
Oh, Hawaii with you
would be magical.
271
00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:24,665
We could boink
at all the war memorials.
272
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:27,093
KAT:
Hey, y'all, come on in.
273
00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:28,836
Ladies and gentlemen,
274
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,414
dames and daddies,
get your wiggle on.
275
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:34,175
The moment has arrived.
Dinner is... Whoa.
276
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,527
-Oh.
-(others gasp)
277
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,588
(high-pitched):
Ah! My baby!
278
00:11:38,606 --> 00:11:40,573
Screw it! I'm going in!
279
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,369
-(overlapping chatter)
-Save some for me.
280
00:11:44,596 --> 00:11:46,538
I'm the runt of the litter.
281
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,264
(overlapping chatter)
282
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:49,766
MAX:
Phil! That is my foot!
283
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:53,336
This is the best Thanksgiving
ever!
284
00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:02,203
That was the worst Thanksgiving
ever.
285
00:12:02,297 --> 00:12:05,206
Oh, good, hey, you're up.
286
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,966
Who wants a breakfast margarita?
287
00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:09,043
How are you not hungover?
288
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:12,121
You can't get hungover
if you don't stop drinking.
289
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,881
-(whirring)
-(others groan)
290
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:16,234
Dude! It is Black Friday.
291
00:12:16,311 --> 00:12:18,795
I will whoop your ass
at a discount.
292
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:22,315
Well, you know what they say,
it's noon somewhere.
293
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:23,633
I'll take one.
294
00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:26,302
That's a hell of a mattress
you got in there.
295
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:27,804
Is that where you slept, baby?
296
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,581
Yeah.
297
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:30,990
(laughs)
298
00:12:31,142 --> 00:12:32,658
Where's Jalen?
299
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:35,328
Well, he left after you told him
you loved him.
300
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:36,646
What?!
301
00:12:36,664 --> 00:12:38,405
I was as surprised as he was.
302
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,759
How about you make me
one for a grown-up?
303
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:44,320
I told him I loved him?
304
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:45,597
What did he say?
305
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:50,343
He said, "You're pretty drunk,
please stop crying."
306
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:51,677
Oh.
307
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,830
-(buzzes)
-Oh, my God.
308
00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,498
The record label loved my demo
309
00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:58,501
and would like to meet me
in Nashville tomorrow.
310
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,186
Whoa, that's amazing!
311
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,280
You're gonna meet Biff Chesney.
312
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:03,931
(cheering)
313
00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:06,692
Okay, okay,
everybody be happy quieter.
314
00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:09,512
This is a perfect end
to what many are calling
315
00:13:09,605 --> 00:13:12,606
a flawless
murder mystery Thanksgiving.
316
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,868
Well, you know, we never found
out who murdered Tom Turkey.
317
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,854
Oh, we all did,
318
00:13:17,872 --> 00:13:20,039
with our apathy
toward factory farming.
319
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,782
-(booing)
-God.
320
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,134
That's stupid.
321
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,471
All my parties end
with a teachable moment.
322
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:29,724
Excuse me,
I'm gonna go throw up.
323
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,040
I need some relationship advice.
324
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,042
On it, what's up?
325
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:41,210
Oh, I meant Randi, Carter.
326
00:13:41,229 --> 00:13:43,304
Any of these people.
327
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,823
Phil, if you haven't
heard from Jalen,
328
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:45,973
you need to text him.
329
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,233
But what would I say?
330
00:13:47,385 --> 00:13:49,402
Is it time
to send a tasteful nude?
331
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,704
-Fixes everything.
-No.
-Bad idea.
332
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,074
-KAT: Oh, hey.
-Hey.
333
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,334
Hey, Phil, can I get a coffee?
334
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,227
I didn't expect you
back so early.
335
00:13:58,396 --> 00:13:59,245
How was your meeting?
336
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:01,322
I decided to skip the meeting.
337
00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:02,732
You skipped it?
338
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,233
Yeah, the label's
too small for me.
339
00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:06,085
I-I need a place
with a bigger reach.
340
00:14:06,254 --> 00:14:09,238
Well, big things come
from small things all the time.
341
00:14:09,332 --> 00:14:12,909
If you need proof, I can send
you one of my tasteful nudes.
342
00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:15,353
Uh, I'm sorry,
I'm just confused.
343
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,246
Yesterday you were
so excited about this.
344
00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:18,764
And today I changed my mind.
345
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,100
-But I don't...
-Just let it go.
346
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:23,269
Wait-- Max, hang on.
347
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,512
-What's Max's problem?
-Oh, who cares?
348
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,774
Now, should I send
this text to Jalen?
349
00:14:28,927 --> 00:14:31,777
"Hey, just checking in.
How's it going?
350
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:35,540
"Are you breaking up with me?
Please don't. I love you.
351
00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:36,690
This is Phil."
352
00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:39,043
-Perfect. Send it.
-No!
353
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,862
My phone.
354
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,548
What's going on?
355
00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:47,293
The truth is I overslept.
My stupid alarm didn't go off.
356
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,220
Oh, well, you can always ask me.
357
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:50,446
I'll be your wakeup call.
358
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:52,115
I can even do one of my accents.
359
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,633
(in accent): Crikey, mate,
it's time to get up.
360
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,376
You've got things to didgeridoo.
361
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:57,228
I'm not in the mood, Kat.
It's not a great day.
362
00:14:57,455 --> 00:14:59,305
Okay. Well, just reschedule.
363
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,882
I tried.
They were jerks about it.
364
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,192
Really?
365
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,052
You know what?
366
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,796
It's their loss.
367
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:08,615
You're gonna find
some place better.
368
00:15:09,484 --> 00:15:11,159
Thanks.
369
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,894
Have you been drinking?
370
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:17,165
I stopped off at a bar, had
a couple to take the edge off.
371
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:19,417
Uh, it's not even 3:00.
372
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:22,236
I mean, who are you,
one of the Real Housewives?
373
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,071
What are you saying,
I drink too much?
374
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,573
Um, you tell me.
375
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:29,594
Were you drunk last night
and that's why you overslept?
376
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:31,095
Kat, will you give me a break?
377
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,172
I'm just trying to figure out
what's going on here.
378
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:34,824
I said that
my alarm didn't go off!
379
00:15:34,993 --> 00:15:36,100
I didn't realize
that you were monitoring
380
00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:37,751
how much I was drinking.
381
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,178
And who didn't
have to get hammered
382
00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:40,921
to get through
your dumbass party?
383
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,441
Max...
384
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,335
Okay, he's way out of line.
385
00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:48,429
That party was on the chain.
386
00:15:48,523 --> 00:15:50,931
Or off the chain.
387
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:54,160
Whichever one is cool,
my party was that.
388
00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:59,273
Kat, everyone drinks too much
at the holidays.
389
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,517
That's what
family does to people.
390
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:04,278
I know,
but this feels different to me.
391
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,113
Max was so excited
about this meeting,
392
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,541
and then he missed it
because he drank too much.
393
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,802
I mean, you're his roommate,
have you noticed anything?
394
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,120
Well,
only when it's Tequila Tuesday.
395
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,531
Or Whiskey Wednesday.
Or Thirsty Thursday.
396
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,550
Wait, damn,
do I have a drinking problem?
397
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,294
Max doesn't have
a problem with drinking.
398
00:16:20,388 --> 00:16:22,205
He has a problem paying his tab.
399
00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:25,466
I mean, once he settles up,
my kid can finally get braces.
400
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,193
(knocking)
401
00:16:28,062 --> 00:16:29,487
Oh, no, it's Jalen.
402
00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:31,739
(dramatic sting plays)
403
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:34,975
It's the best three bucks
I've ever spent.
404
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:38,070
Oh, God. He's here
to break up with me.
405
00:16:38,223 --> 00:16:40,056
He's gonna do it in person.
406
00:16:40,074 --> 00:16:41,907
That is so classy,
407
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:43,409
I love him even more.
408
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:44,910
-Well, be strong.
-Be confident.
409
00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:47,362
Cry early and often.
410
00:16:48,157 --> 00:16:50,566
Hey, you.
See you later, guys.
411
00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:52,343
I love you, Kat.
I love you, Randi.
412
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:53,794
I love you, Carter.
413
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:57,256
Something I say to everyone,
doesn't mean anything.
414
00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,059
It meant something to somebody.
415
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,079
Don't know if you got my text.
416
00:17:03,097 --> 00:17:05,748
It was nothing special, just,
417
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,767
"What's up?" (chuckles)
418
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,445
Not "wassup..."
419
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,105
You remember that
20 years ago?
420
00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:14,940
Oh, boy, that was funny.
421
00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:17,093
Anyway, nice talk. Kiss?
422
00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:21,597
I-I did get your text,
and sorry I didn't respond.
423
00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:24,934
But what I have to say
should be said in person.
424
00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,360
No.
425
00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:28,546
You cannot break up with me
if you can't catch me.
426
00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:30,465
N-No, no. Oh, Phil.
427
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,292
Sit down, Phil.
428
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,444
I'm not breaking up with you.
429
00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:36,629
Oh, thank God.
430
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,932
I haven't run in over 40 years.
431
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,286
Look, I'm not gonna lie,
432
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:45,730
when you said you loved me,
it kind of freaked me out.
433
00:17:45,957 --> 00:17:47,231
So...
434
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:51,460
I spent the last couple days
thinking about...
435
00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:52,570
why.
436
00:17:52,797 --> 00:17:54,313
Well, I know why I said it.
437
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,408
You're kind, you're thoughtful.
438
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,245
You've got a butt
tight as airport security.
439
00:18:02,398 --> 00:18:05,899
Since we met,
it's been super obvious to me
440
00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:08,311
that I'm falling for you.
441
00:18:08,404 --> 00:18:09,829
Oh.
442
00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:12,648
Then you went and said that
and I...
443
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:15,334
I don't want to ruin this
by rushing it.
444
00:18:15,486 --> 00:18:17,820
Well, I don't want to ruin it,
either.
445
00:18:17,989 --> 00:18:19,806
I want to make sure
we do this right.
446
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,658
You're the first boyfriend
I've ever had
447
00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:25,061
where I really see a future.
448
00:18:25,663 --> 00:18:26,846
Boyfriend?
449
00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:29,498
I ate turkey off the floor
with you and your weird friends.
450
00:18:29,592 --> 00:18:32,568
You think I'd do that for
anyone less than a boyfriend?
451
00:18:33,838 --> 00:18:36,114
(music playing faintly)
452
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,863
Hmm. I got a boyfriend.
453
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,848
(giggling)
454
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:48,717
And my friends are cool.
455
00:18:48,719 --> 00:18:50,369
The only weird one is Kat.
456
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,130
Ay, ay, ay.
457
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,132
Y'all want to come up
for some Thanksgiving leftovers?
458
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:56,375
I'm in.
How about you, food baby?
459
00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:59,545
(scoffs) Back up, ladies,
he is all mine.
460
00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:00,954
(phone rings)
461
00:19:01,048 --> 00:19:02,047
Oh.
462
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,199
Hey, Max.
463
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:04,291
Yeah, I'm glad you called.
464
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,435
Uh, listen, about earlier...
465
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:08,371
What?
466
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:09,555
What's going on?
467
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:11,540
He got arrested
for public intoxication.
468
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:14,043
(dramatic sting plays)
469
00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:15,378
Seriously?
470
00:19:15,396 --> 00:19:18,489
Oh, so now
you don't like the button?
471
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,407
All right, I'm-a just
come out and say it.
472
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,002
I think peeing on a cop car
is funny.
473
00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:33,913
You, sir, are an ally.
474
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,748
Why did you bring them?
475
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,416
Do you know how exciting it is
476
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,343
for a Black person
to bail out a white dude?
477
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,995
I mean, this is the world
that Dr. King dreamed of.
478
00:19:42,089 --> 00:19:45,591
I'm here because
my boyfriend is a lawyer.
479
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:48,019
Did you say boyfriend, Phil?
480
00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:49,520
(singsongy):
Why, yes, I did.
481
00:19:49,672 --> 00:19:53,082
Max, maybe you want to walk us
through what happened?
482
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:56,176
Uh, after our fight,
I had a couple of drinks,
483
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,921
and then I was walking home,
484
00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:00,439
because I didn't
want to drive drunk,
485
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,700
which I think
I deserve credit for.
486
00:20:02,927 --> 00:20:04,202
No.
487
00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:07,705
So, I ducked into a side street
to go.
488
00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:09,932
And you went on a police car.
489
00:20:09,951 --> 00:20:13,085
Near a police car.
The wind did the rest.
490
00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:16,363
All right, maybe...
491
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,274
maybe I have been drinking
more than usual.
492
00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:21,627
Yeah, the neighborhood kid who
recycles our cans and bottles
493
00:20:21,796 --> 00:20:23,870
just bought a new bike.
494
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,465
It's just the music stuff hasn't
been going like I wanted,
495
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,118
and I just have
too much free time lately.
496
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,213
My boyfriend says, "Idle hands
are the devil's playground."
497
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,976
That's right,
I have a boyfriend.
498
00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,720
Maybe a break would be good.
499
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,055
You know, change up my habits.
500
00:20:42,224 --> 00:20:43,724
I think that's smart.
501
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:44,909
You know what might help?
502
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,768
Paying your bar tab.
503
00:20:47,488 --> 00:20:49,896
I'm sorry that I snapped at you.
504
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,974
Oh. It's okay.
505
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,251
I figured it was
the alcohol talking.
506
00:20:53,327 --> 00:20:56,069
Why else would you say
I threw a dumbass party?
507
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:57,980
Oh, good God, give it a rest.
508
00:20:58,073 --> 00:20:59,665
We didn't eat for six hours.
509
00:20:59,817 --> 00:21:02,093
Jalen thinks you're weird.
510
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,595
(jazzy music playing)
511
00:21:06,324 --> 00:21:08,391
♪ ♪
512
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:13,754
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
513
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,108
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org