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Welcome to London Heathrow.
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For your security, do not leave
any personal items unattended.
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This is the final boarding call
for flight 822 to Kansas City.
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Final boarding for flight 822.
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Paging passenger Lasso.
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Report to the ticket desk.
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Paging passenger Lasso.
Please report to the ticket desk.
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Buddy, we gotta roll. Come on. Let's go.
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Your mom sent you a text.
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Come on, go.
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- Henry Lasso. Passenger Henry Lasso.
- Hey, we're here. We're here.
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Sorry about that.
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We got distracted.
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Little guy was trying to unlock
Princess Peach on Super Smash Bros.
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Totally understand.
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I once held an entire
flight to Sydney hostage
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until I finished the final level of
Breath of the Wild.
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Feels like a potentially troublesome
sentence to say in this setting,
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but, hey, I appreciate you.
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Hello, Henry. It's nice to see you again.
Are you excited to head back home?
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To all my toys? Yes.
22
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,651
To my country's political landscape?
Not so much.
23
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Yeah. Well, I have a tendency
to doze off with CNN on.
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All right, big guy.
Let's get you all set up here.
25
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iPad's all loaded up
with a bunch of movies,
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so no need to watch
your neighbor's screen, okay?
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Less movies about clowns in sewers,
the better, right?
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Amen, Big Ben.
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Oh, here.
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- Dad, I made you something.
- What you got?
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Hey.
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A little tiny Premier League trophy?
All right!
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I can't wait to drink champagne
out of this sucker, you know?
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I mean, it's just to have
until you win the real one.
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Well, hey. You never know, right?
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I'm sorry, Mr. Lasso,
but we are pressed for time.
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Of course. Of course. Okay.
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Six weeks goes by real quick
when you're having fun, don't it?
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Hey, do me a favor. When you get home,
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will you give your mom a big squeeze
from me to let her know I love her? Yeah?
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But until then, here, you bring it in.
Come on.
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All right.
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Okay. Okay. Hey. I love you, buddy.
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I love you too, Dad.
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Yeah. All right. Okay. Get out of here.
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Come on.
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Passengers on Flight 2492
with service to JFK airport,
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we are now boarding.
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Flight to Amsterdam has been delayed
and will now be departing from Gate 17.
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We apologize for any inconvenience.
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- Good morning, Ted.
- Hey, Doc.
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- How're you feeling?
- Yeah, no. I'm fine. Yeah.
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So, how did the drop-off go?
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For me or for him?
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'Cause I think those
are two very different answers.
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But no, I'm fine, I think. I don't know.
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I just feel kinda guilty
about the little guy
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flying all by himself again, you know?
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I understand, Ted.
But children are resilient.
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And a sense of autonomy at Henry's age
is good for him.
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No, I know. That's true.
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I remember being left at school
when I was Henry's age.
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I ended up helping our custodian,
Mr. Maher, clean half the school
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until my dad remembered
to come pick me up.
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He gave Mr. Maher cash for babysitting me.
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I showed up to school the next day
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and Mr. Maher gave me the money
as payment for the work I'd done.
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So then I used that money
to buy him a thank-you gift,
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but never got the chance
to give it to him,
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'cause, well,
he ended up getting hit by a train.
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Wow. I didn't see that coming.
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Yeah, well, neither did Mr. Maher.
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How are things at work?
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Are you feeling good
about the upcoming season?
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Yeah. Sure.
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Well, I guess I do sometimes wonder
what the heck I'm still doing here.
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I mean, I know why I came,
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but it's the sticking around
I can't quite figure out.
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- You don't quit things, Ted.
- Right. Right. Yeah.
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But, hey, maybe my being here
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is doing more hurting than helping
at this point, you know?
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00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:05,287
Well, as the man once said,
"Doubt can only be removed by action."
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00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,789
- I like that.
- I thought you would.
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00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,667
- We only have a couple of minutes left.
- Okay.
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Hey, you still cool with me
asking you some personal questions?
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00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,714
For now, yes. Go on.
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Hey!
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Holy smokes, I love that hat.
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I recognize you from that show
Leaky Diapers, don't I?
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- Okay, let's see. You dating anyone?
- Pass.
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You usually say no to that one.
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- What team you with right now?
- Can't say.
93
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,271
- Okay. All right. Well, what sport?
- Can't say.
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Uh-huh.
How many Australians you got on the team?
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00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,235
- Nine.
- Rugby. What a game.
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It's like American football
and sumo wrestling gave birth to a baby
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with huge muscular thighs
all caked in mud.
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Okay, Ted. I need to go.
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Okay. Talk to you later, Doc.
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- Goodbye, Ted.
- All right now.
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You finally got off.
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Not yet, I didn't.
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{\an8}Bloody hell!
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{\an8}All of them. All of them have us
finishing last this season.
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{\an8}It's really annoying, isn't it?
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{\an8}Every newspaper, every television pundit,
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{\an8}every lonely middle-aged sports-blogging
loser writing in his mother's basement.
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{\an8}You know, Rebecca,
that stereotype really isn't true anymore.
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{\an8}For example, our ten-year-old, Terry,
started writing a sports blog
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{\an8}in our kitchen,
which we now call his home office.
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{\an8}For tax purposes.
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{\an8}Right, well, I apologize
for the generalization.
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{\an8}Where does your son have us finishing?
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{\an8}- Hey, y'all.
- Hey, Ted.
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00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,701
{\an8}Good morning, Ted.
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{\an8}No rhyming salutation. Something wrong?
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{\an8}Way to notice, Amos Otis.
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{\an8}Yeah.
Henry went back to Kansas this morning.
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{\an8}- Thank you.
- Yep, yep.
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{\an8}Dropped him off at the airport
a little bit ago.
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{\an8}Now he's up in a plane,
10,000 feet in the sky.
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{\an8}- I think they fly higher than that.
- Definitely.
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{\an8}Yeah, well, I'm down here on Earth
checking my phone every ten minutes,
124
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{\an8}watching his plane
get further and further away. Yeah.
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{\an8}But, hey, I didn't mean to come in here
and tinkle on y'all's toenails.
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{\an8}What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening.
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{\an8}Well, apparently,
everyone alive has picked Richmond
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{\an8}to finish in 20th place this season.
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{\an8}Except the Daily Mirror,
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00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,568
{\an8}which has us finishing "twentyelf."
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{\an8}An adorable but devastating typo.
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{\an8}Okay. Well, you know what?
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{\an8}I predict all their
predictions ain't gonna come true.
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{\an8}So, it looks like we got ourselves
a prediction Mexican standoff.
135
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{\an8}Or as they call them in Mexico,
a prediction standoff.
136
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,747
{\an8}Well, the worst part is that
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00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,958
{\an8}they've picked Rupert
to finish in the top four.
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{\an8}Rupert's gonna play this year?
139
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{\an8}What? No.
140
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{\an8}So you mean West Ham?
141
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,422
{\an8}Precisely.
Everyone thinks he's better than us.
142
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,259
{\an8}They.
Everyone thinks they are better than us.
143
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,844
{\an8}Yes, that's what I said. They.
144
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,346
{\an8}So, what's the plan?
How are we gonna beat him?
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00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,806
{\an8}- Them.
- Exactly.
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00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:11,974
{\an8}Oh, boy.
147
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,184
{\an8}You know, this might be a good time
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{\an8}for us to update our roster.
Put some more firepower in the team.
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{\an8}That is a great idea, Leslie.
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{\an8}Let's put some feelers out, shall we? Ted?
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00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,361
{\an8}Well, I know Roy and Coach Beard
152
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,029
{\an8}are working on some new tactics.
153
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{\an8}And, you know, the fellas we got
are already gelling real nice.
154
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{\an8}I think we're gonna do fine this season.
155
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{\an8}Ted, this team doing "just fine"
is a far cry
156
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,454
{\an8}from you telling me
we're going to win the whole thing.
157
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,415
Did I really say that?
158
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Yes, you did.
Over there after the Man City loss.
159
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:42,254
Just before you blasted
half a liter of Pellegrino in my face.
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00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,298
- Right.
- Wait, what happened?
161
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,593
That is the Ted Lasso
I want coaching my team this season.
162
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The one who's willing to fight.
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00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,804
- Understood?
- Yes, ma'am.
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You watch, from now on,
165
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,141
I'll be floating like a butterfly
and stinging like a bee.
166
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,185
Except I won't die immediately
after using my stinger.
167
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,562
I plan to float and sting
for the entirety of the whole season.
168
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Excellent. Right, if you'll excuse me,
169
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,736
I have a very important lunch meeting
with one Ms. Keeley Jones
170
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,779
for some much-needed girl talk.
171
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,573
Hey, tell her we said howdy and...
172
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,158
Yo.
173
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:12,910
Okay.
174
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,121
- You say "yo"?
- Yeah, I know. It just popped out--
175
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,456
No. I'm not judging. I loved it.
176
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,790
- I wanna make sure I heard right.
- Okay. Yeah.
177
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,668
- But I-- But I feel like...
- Yeah.
178
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,128
That makes sense, right? I could put my--
179
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,672
What? Another one? Dead last.
180
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,550
Dead last? Who wrote that?
181
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,052
Fucking everybody, bruv.
182
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,929
Glenn Hoddle, Graeme Souness,
Jermaine Jenas--
183
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,475
- Maybe they're trying to motivate us.
- Yeah. Thank you very much, Dani.
184
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,184
I had a woman accost me on the street,
185
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,977
telling me I should fake an injury
this season
186
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,522
so I wouldn't have to deal
with the misery.
187
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,856
Did you tell her to piss off?
188
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,274
No, she was a nun.
189
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,944
Wait, a nun?
190
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,404
They must get Sky Sports
in the monasteries.
191
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,823
Hey. Hey, hey, lads. Hey.
192
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,867
We ain't gonna get relegated
'cause we're together.
193
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,704
And together, we got me.
194
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,582
Statistically speaking,
195
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,252
most teams who get promoted
are relegated the very next year.
196
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:06,338
- Come on, Jan Maas!
- Jan Maas!
197
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,007
- That's what happens in the Pre--
- Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas.
198
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,802
It's the Premier League.
It's just statistics, man.
199
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,304
So I finally watched it.
200
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,015
I liked it.
201
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,767
Gene Hackman was good.
202
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,270
The drunk geezer.
203
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,354
Stuff with the team.
204
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,648
I did have one question.
205
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,941
Yeah, what's that?
206
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,193
Why the fuck is it called Hoosiers?
207
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,863
Hey, what's up, sweetie pie?
208
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,990
What's the frequency, Roy Kenteth?
209
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,950
What you doing?
Working on new trick plays or something?
210
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,786
No tricks, just an old classic.
Take it away, Coach.
211
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,289
This is the best way
for us to play this season.
212
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,457
The 4-4-2, which is--
213
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,918
Four defenders, four in the midfield,
and two up front.
214
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,836
Yeah, I got it.
215
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,129
God, I'm proud of you.
216
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,548
Yeah. Henry and I played
a whole bunch of FIFA while he was here.
217
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,967
Very helpful. You know,
we both learned who Maradona was,
218
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:55,137
and I had to explain to my son
why cocaine is actually bad for you.
219
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,180
Please, keep going.
220
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,766
Right. These little pricks have played
4-4-2 ever since they were kids,
221
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,269
which means they'll always know
what they're supposed to do,
222
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,605
and more importantly,
where they're supposed to be
223
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,357
at every fucking minute
of every fucking game
224
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,026
against every fucking opponent.
225
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,945
Yeesh. Who invented this thing,
the Russians?
226
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,238
Yeah.
227
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,531
Okay.
228
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,201
Well, hey, if you think it's a good idea,
I think it's a great one.
229
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,452
- Let's do it.
- Okay.
230
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,039
And look, I know I don't have
Nate's fucking tactical super-brain,
231
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,709
but I do know it's more important
to be solid than clever
232
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,793
when you're the underdogs.
233
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,713
Yeah, the underdog. Right. No.
Okay. I hear you, loud and clear. Yeah.
234
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,882
Hey, Coach.
How come you never hear of an "overdog"?
235
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:37,304
In German, the "Überhund,"
but in English, we say "top dog."
236
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,682
Or more specifically, West Ham.
237
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042
Good morning, Coach Shelley.
238
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,654
There he is. The Wonder Kid himself.
239
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,697
Get out.
240
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,587
I understand.
241
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,964
I just don't think Ms. Welton
will have a whole lot to say
242
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,676
about the unfair advantage
of being a female owner in sports.
243
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:58,844
Thank you.
244
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,305
Fuck you, Joe Rogan.
245
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:07,936
Sorry, everyone.
246
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:11,064
This is my friend, my former boss,
247
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,443
my angel-mentor-guru, Rebecca.
248
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:20,157
And, Rebecca, these are the poets
and the geniuses behind KJPR.
249
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,576
- Hello.
- Hello.
250
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,329
Why don't you step into my office?
251
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,914
Yeah? Come on. Yeah.
252
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,876
God, it's like a real office out there.
253
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,754
People typing and being awkward
and everything.
254
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,506
It's so bananas, right?
255
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,550
And I found out
why I got such a good deal on this place.
256
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,261
I love a bit of corporate
real estate scuttlebutt.
257
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,262
That. Yeah.
258
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,889
So, the previous tenants,
259
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,433
they had to break the lease
because the boss kept getting caught
260
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,852
pinching his employees' butts
all the time.
261
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,231
Well, one man's grope
is another woman's gain.
262
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:55,359
It does explain why my office
comes with fun features like this.
263
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,443
Look. Watch.
264
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,615
Yikes. But also quite cool.
265
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,495
Hey, it's all right.
266
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:07,996
Hey!
267
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,208
Hey, you're all right. I'm here. Hey.
268
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:15,170
I'm so busy, I literally have to make time
in my schedule
269
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,673
to sit at my desk and cry.
270
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,343
And now I've double-booked you.
271
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,720
Come here!
272
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:29,810
You know who else
picked us to finish last?
273
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,936
Please don't say Adele.
274
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,062
Paddington Bear.
275
00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,731
- It was on his Twitter account.
- Yeah, I saw that.
276
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,776
On a scale of one marmalade sandwich
to five marmalade sandwiches,
277
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,152
we've got no marmalade sandwiches.
278
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,322
Even that sweet little bear
does not believe in us.
279
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,533
I think it's probably
other people writing for him.
280
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,827
- Wait, what?
- Yeah.
281
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,913
What the heck is going on out here?
282
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,000
These guys are more distracted
than a bunch of cats playing laser tag.
283
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,169
They heard all the pundits saying we suck.
284
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,336
Fuck pundits.
285
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,504
You were a pundit.
286
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:01,633
Yeah. And all we did was talk shit
and eat fucking meringues.
287
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,928
Hey, Coach,
I don't know about you, but kinda feels
288
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,805
like it's getting
a little stuffy in here, yeah?
289
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:10,058
Like one of those days
you wanna have class outside?
290
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,563
What the fuck are you two talking about?
We are outside.
291
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,649
- Hey, Will.
- Yeah?
292
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,234
- Come here.
- Yeah.
293
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,861
Hey, is Kenneth around today?
294
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,613
Yeah, no. Kenneth lives here.
295
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,948
Yeah. No, he does work a lot, don't he?
296
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,951
No, no, no. As in,
he literally lives here at the facility.
297
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,828
- He does? Since when?
- He--
298
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,955
Ever since his cult got shut down.
299
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,624
Kenneth was in a cult?
300
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,168
No, no, no, no, no.
He was the leader of one.
301
00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:37,711
Wow. Okay.
302
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:40,339
You mind asking him to bring
the team bus around for me?
303
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:41,882
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right. Appreciate you.
304
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,677
Shall we?
305
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,888
Okay, fellas.
306
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,974
This segment of today's training
is now complete.
307
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,685
I need everyone to go hop on the bus.
308
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,312
We're taking practice on the road,
309
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,607
and last one in the parking lot
has to eat a little bug!
310
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,567
Everyone run except Roy! Let's go!
311
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,655
- Run, run, run!
- Let's go, let's go!
312
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,035
I feel so much better.
313
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,622
Crying is the best, isn't it?
It's like an orgasm for the soul.
314
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,875
You know, in the last three years
married to Rupert,
315
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,503
I don't think I cried once about anything.
316
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:22,422
Not even a John Lewis
Christmas commercial.
317
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,842
I'm really sorry again about your blouse.
318
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:26,844
What are you talking about?
It's barely noticeable.
319
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:33,225
Oi, sucks butt that everyone's
predicted Richmond to finish last.
320
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:35,269
I mean, what filthy cocks.
321
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,895
You're not worried
about that though, right?
322
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,272
No, not really.
323
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,775
I'm a bit worried
that Ted isn't worried enough.
324
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,694
Yeah, but you gotta let Ted be Ted, right?
325
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,196
Yes. I suppose so.
326
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:52,202
No, I'm more bothered that Rupert
must just be so happy right now.
327
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,872
He's really gotten stuck in your head
these days, huh?
328
00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:56,290
No!
329
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,000
I mean, yes.
330
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,961
But he's not stuck
in the same way he used to be stuck.
331
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,005
I mean, back then,
332
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:07,384
I wanted to destroy everything
that Rupert loved and owned and coveted.
333
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,219
You know, like Left Eye from TLC
334
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,180
when she burned
all her boyfriend's trainers in the bath
335
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,723
and ended up
burning down the entire house.
336
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,975
- Ultimate gangster move.
- Fucking legend.
337
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,686
And admittedly, that was me back then.
338
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,149
But the me now doesn't feel the need
to destroy Rupert's life.
339
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,110
No, the now me just wants to beat him.
340
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:26,445
To win.
341
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,032
- That's growth, right?
- Sure.
342
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,410
But sometimes
you've gotta let Rupert be Rupert too.
343
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,539
Ms. Jones, we have a problem.
344
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,958
Barbara, come on. It's Keeley.
345
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,211
And I want you to meet
my dear friend, Rebecca.
346
00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:43,962
She owns AFC Richmond.
347
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,214
Yes, of course, Rebecca.
348
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:46,840
- Very nice to meet you.
- Hello, Barbara.
349
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,050
Ms. Jones,
350
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:53,764
I noticed a business expense
for flowers recurring weekly.
351
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:58,018
You want to spend £200 every week
on flowers?
352
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,061
Yeah.
353
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,145
Why?
354
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,564
So the office is cheerful and smells nice.
355
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,609
Flowers are for two things, Ms. Jones.
Dead people and dead marriages.
356
00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:10,948
- It was so nice to meet you.
- It was nice to meet you.
357
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,452
She seems fun.
358
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,246
She's my CFO.
359
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,332
The company that financed me
placed her here.
360
00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:23,919
But she's my CFO, yet sometimes my CFO--
361
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,587
Chief Financial Officer.
362
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,297
Oh, my. I did not know that.
363
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,300
I've been saying "corporate flying object"
'cause it's been making me laugh.
364
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,718
Why didn't you just google it?
365
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,179
Because I trust in the universe.
366
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,349
Right. I have got to get going.
367
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,394
Dinner this evening?
368
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,938
- I can't.
- No, no. I'm eating meat again.
369
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,858
That's not it. But thank Christ.
370
00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:49,778
No, Roy and I are finally
having the talk with Phoebe.
371
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:53,073
I cannot cancel on him again,
or he will kill me.
372
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,909
Okay, well, call me later.
373
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,119
And thank you for the advice.
374
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,746
- Thank you for your bosom.
- Anytime.
375
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,590
You. Come over here. Come over here.
376
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,718
Come and stand on this line for me.
This, over here. Yeah.
377
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,137
This is a very important line.
378
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,974
Everyone, this is the dumb-dumb line.
379
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:21,602
This is where dumb-dumbs go.
380
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,520
Stay.
381
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,732
You, go in for the dumb-dumb.
Try not to join him on the line. Go.
382
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:33,363
Coach Shelley?
383
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:34,698
Yes. Yes?
384
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,700
Mr. Mannion would like to speak with you.
385
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,118
Okay. Thank you very much.
386
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,166
Now?
387
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,460
Disco.
388
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,377
Yeah.
389
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,880
Take over here. Five more minutes of this,
then run them till they drop.
390
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,882
- Okay.
- All right. Let's--
391
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,259
Gosh.
392
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,970
Okay.
393
00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:01,183
Just because my name is Disco
doesn't mean we get to party, yeah?
394
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:12,277
There he is. The Wonder Kid himself.
395
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,446
Hello. How was your trip?
396
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,281
Wonderful. Yeah.
397
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:20,285
I was in St. Barts with dear friends,
the Sacklers.
398
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:24,456
We were legally required
to stay 50 miles offshore,
399
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,167
but what a beautiful boat.
400
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,794
Well, sounds lovely.
401
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:35,467
What's lovely are these delightful
preseason prognostications. Yeah.
402
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,802
Aren't they delish?
403
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,929
Especially poor, old Richmond.
404
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,934
Can you believe
they're picked to finish 20th?
405
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,937
Well, yeah, because there's no 21st.
406
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,192
That's very good.
407
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:56,905
I hope you've got more zingers like that
in your back pocket for the presser today.
408
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,532
I-- Yeah, I might.
409
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:03,328
You know, they didn't know
what they had, letting you go.
410
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,248
Nathan Shelley, you are a killer.
411
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,627
Thank you, Mr. Mannion.
412
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,963
No, please, Nathan. Call me Rupert.
413
00:20:15,007 --> 00:20:18,594
Mr. Mannion, the car is being removed
from the lot as we speak.
414
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,432
- Good.
- Security thinks one of the new cleaners
415
00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,851
must have parked in the prestige lot
by accident.
416
00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:27,436
Yes.
417
00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,231
And accidents have repercussions.
418
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,650
I just want to just have a look.
419
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:35,861
Yes, that's my car.
420
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:40,866
- Sorry.
- Is it really?
421
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,285
No. Well, yes.
422
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:46,997
I mean, it's the one that I drove here in,
but is anything really ours?
423
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,624
I can move it.
424
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,417
No, it's okay.
425
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,003
My apologies, Nathan.
426
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,757
Ms. Kakes, let security know
that we have found
427
00:20:56,757 --> 00:21:01,637
the automobile's owner,
and everything's fine.
428
00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:02,971
Yes, Mr. Mannion.
429
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,767
- Nathan?
- Yeah?
430
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,061
I know you'll make me proud.
431
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,522
I believe in you.
432
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:15,817
Thank you, Mr. Rupert. Just Rupert.
433
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:16,902
Plain Rupert.
434
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,071
Rupert.
435
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,032
- Thanks, Ken.
- Have a good one, lad.
436
00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,076
- Cheers, Ken.
- Look after yourselves.
437
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:25,911
- Thanks, K-Rock.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
438
00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,664
Hey, Ken, thanks again
for helping us out at the last second.
439
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,874
No worries. You got lucky, really.
440
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,418
Ted, it's a good rule of thumb
441
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,004
never to ask a hippie
to come in on his day off.
442
00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:39,675
- Okay, message received.
- All right.
443
00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:42,219
Well, I'll go and smoke some toad venom
while I'm waiting.
444
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:44,471
Then the whole day's not a waste. Cheers.
445
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:46,139
Okay. Yeah.
446
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,642
He gonna be okay to drive us back?
447
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:50,143
- After the toad venom?
- Yeah.
448
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,812
He's usually fine in 20 minutes.
449
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:55,315
He'll be forever changed,
but he can drive, yeah.
450
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:56,400
Okay, good.
451
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,068
All right, fellas. Follow me.
452
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,364
There he is.
453
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:04,908
Good to see you again, Coach Lasso.
454
00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,326
Hey, nice to see you too, Ivor.
455
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:07,286
All right.
456
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:08,662
Come on, fellas. Here we are.
457
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,206
- This is the spot here?
- Yes, sir.
458
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,332
All righty.
459
00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:15,335
Okay, here we go, guys. Down the hatch.
460
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,753
- Nah.
- What?
461
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:18,672
- Yeah, we're going down here.
- What's he talking about?
462
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:19,756
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
463
00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:23,468
Yeah. Nah, it's gonna be fine.
464
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:28,265
Del, look at this shit.
465
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:30,851
- Yeah, why don't you go next?
- All right.
466
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:32,477
Is that Roy Kent?
467
00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:33,687
I don't know.
468
00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:35,814
Roy Kent, is that you?
469
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,441
Get fucked.
470
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,110
- Yeah, definitely him.
- Yeah, that's him.
471
00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:45,908
- Get that on Twitter, son.
- Yes.
472
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,008
I just wanted to go through
this transfer list.
473
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,801
Some good options here.
474
00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:08,722
Why are you dressed like an umlaut?
475
00:23:09,515 --> 00:23:10,432
Keeley tears.
476
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,186
I've had this dry cleaned now six times.
477
00:23:15,312 --> 00:23:17,814
Can't believe she wears
stuff like this on her eyes.
478
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:18,941
Right. Come here.
479
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,030
Are you sure you want to watch this?
480
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:27,741
No, I don't want to, Leslie.
But it's part of my job.
481
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,409
I need to be ready to comment
482
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,537
if Rupert were to say something snide
about me or the team.
483
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:33,705
Where are they, by the way?
484
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,165
Shouldn't they be training now?
485
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,759
Yeah, come on down, fellas.
That's it. All right.
486
00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:51,098
Greyhounds, behold the majesty
of the London sewer system.
487
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:54,142
Disgusting.
488
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,395
Yeah, that's what I thought
at first as well.
489
00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:59,690
But then, over the summer, Henry and I
took a tour of this place with Ivor here.
490
00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,900
Why would you take your kid
for a tour of a sewer?
491
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,193
Well, it was his idea, actually.
492
00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:05,779
See, what happened was,
on his plane ride over here,
493
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:09,116
the fellow sitting next to him
was watching that horror movie It,
494
00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:11,493
and, well, Henry accidentally
ended up watching it too.
495
00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:14,204
So then, when he heard about this tour,
496
00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:16,415
he asked to go on it
in order to face his fears.
497
00:24:16,415 --> 00:24:17,416
Fucking smart.
498
00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:19,209
Yeah, that is good.
499
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:21,670
Ain't much scarier out there
than a creepy clown, right?
500
00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:26,675
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome.
501
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:29,469
Lovely to see you all, and thank you
502
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:34,016
for selecting our humble little
football club to do so well this season.
503
00:24:37,728 --> 00:24:39,104
Twat.
504
00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:41,190
Ivor, my friend, why don't you
help these fine fellows
505
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,150
with some fun facts
about this here feces factory?
506
00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:46,195
Well, back in 1859,
507
00:24:46,195 --> 00:24:49,072
an engineer called Joseph Bazalgette
and his team
508
00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:54,203
built more than 1,200 miles
of interconnected tunnels and sewers.
509
00:24:54,203 --> 00:24:58,582
And its creation helped cure
a massive cholera outbreak
510
00:24:58,582 --> 00:25:02,211
after untreated human waste
found its way into the River Thames.
511
00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,380
Anyone know what that epidemic was called?
512
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,216
Great Stink of 1858.
513
00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,383
That's correct.
514
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:11,720
All right, go ahead, Ivor. Keep cooking.
515
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,264
The person you are here to see,
516
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,892
the Wonder Kid himself,
517
00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:18,435
our new manager,
518
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:20,437
Nathan Shelley.
519
00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:32,533
Thank you. Very nice to be here.
520
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:35,077
I'm pretty sure I said "wunderkind."
521
00:25:38,622 --> 00:25:40,916
Doesn't-- It doesn't matter. Doesn't--
522
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,629
Sorry, does anyone have any questions?
523
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,133
- Yes, you. Thank you.
- How are you and the lads getting on?
524
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:51,385
Yeah, really great.
525
00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:53,971
Getting to know them.
526
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,181
Getting to know all about them.
527
00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,642
Getting to like them.
528
00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:02,563
Getting to hope--
529
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,610
Excuse me a second.
530
00:26:15,701 --> 00:26:17,369
What is he doing?
531
00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:35,179
Sorry, just had to tie my shoe.
532
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,724
Yeah, next question, please.
Thank you. Yes?
533
00:26:38,724 --> 00:26:40,642
Coach Shelley,
534
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:43,562
you are now the manager
of a contending Premier League team,
535
00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:48,901
but just two years ago, you were a mere
kit man, washing another team's underwear.
536
00:26:48,901 --> 00:26:53,864
I mean, it must all feel
a bit overwhelming for you, yes?
537
00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,785
Not for me, no. Because I earned this job.
538
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,830
What's overwhelming
is the confusion I feel
539
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:05,209
when someone so intelligent-looking
asks such a stupid question.
540
00:27:10,923 --> 00:27:11,924
Meow.
541
00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:13,717
Anyone else?
542
00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:16,053
- Yeah, I got a question.
- Yeah, go ahead, Isaac.
543
00:27:16,053 --> 00:27:17,387
What the fuck are we doing here?
544
00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,267
Silence!
545
00:27:22,768 --> 00:27:24,811
Thank you, Coach.
That's a good question, Isaac.
546
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:28,440
And direct, which is a personality trait
y'all's generation has truly embraced,
547
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,402
and I tell you what,
I've grown used to it, so I appreciate it.
548
00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:35,030
Yeah, well, hey, fellas,
take a look around.
549
00:27:35,906 --> 00:27:37,449
What are we surrounded by down here?
550
00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:39,535
- Coach.
- Yeah, Jamie.
551
00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:42,246
- We're surrounded by poopy.
- That's right.
552
00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:43,163
But if you ask me,
553
00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:46,583
we're surrounded by a whole bunch
of poopy up there as well, yeah?
554
00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:52,297
See, gentlemen, right now, y'all's brains
are basically London in 1857.
555
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:55,008
They're blocked up
by other people's dookie.
556
00:27:55,843 --> 00:28:00,138
Y'all need to make an internal
sewer system within yourselves,
557
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:04,184
and then connect to each other's tunnels,
help each other keep that flow.
558
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:08,188
So if you're ever having
a crisis of confidence,
559
00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:10,440
you know, borrow some of Jamie's.
560
00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:15,571
Yeah? Or if you're feeling down,
you know, get some Dani in your life.
561
00:28:15,571 --> 00:28:19,491
Or you can learn from Richard's
vast knowledge of expensive wines.
562
00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:24,162
Fine wines, Coach.
The thing is, a great bottle of wine
563
00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:28,041
really doesn't need to be
an expensive bottle of wine, you get it?
564
00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:31,253
All right, see? That's wisdom right there.
565
00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:32,171
Merci beaucoup.
566
00:28:34,131 --> 00:28:35,632
Yeah. Next question.
567
00:28:35,632 --> 00:28:40,304
Coach Shelley,
regarding your old team, AFC Richmond,
568
00:28:40,304 --> 00:28:45,058
any idea why everyone is expecting them
to finish 20th this season?
569
00:28:48,437 --> 00:28:50,689
Probably because there's no 21st.
570
00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:53,567
Ouch.
571
00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:57,696
Guys, all we gotta do is remember
to stay connected to one another
572
00:28:57,696 --> 00:29:03,452
and let anything we don't need
flow right through all the way to,
573
00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:05,913
I don't know, Germany or--
Where does it go, Ivor?
574
00:29:05,913 --> 00:29:08,832
Processed through a treatment plant
and dumped back into the ocean,
575
00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:11,251
where we swim and get our seafood.
576
00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,172
Oh. Okay. Yeah, that's horrible.
577
00:29:15,172 --> 00:29:16,757
- All right, y'all get it?
- Yes, Coach.
578
00:29:16,757 --> 00:29:18,717
Okay, let's get upstairs,
get some fresh air.
579
00:29:18,717 --> 00:29:20,260
Come on. Let's go. Hurry up. On the hop.
580
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:22,763
No sudden movements near the bus driver.
581
00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:30,812
Coach Shelley,
582
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:33,732
would you like to comment
on the new picture of AFC Richmond
583
00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:35,692
that's just showed up online?
584
00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:36,777
What picture?
585
00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,867
I think I know where the team's gone.
586
00:29:53,252 --> 00:29:54,711
Yeah, well, it makes sense to me.
587
00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:57,548
They probably have to train in a sewer
because their coach is so shitty.
588
00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:07,432
Oh, boy.
589
00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,488
I really like that Kenneth guy.
590
00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:24,032
He seems really plugged in, yeah?
591
00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:25,158
Oh, yeah. No, I agree.
592
00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:30,539
That nutter told me to ask the fucking
Earth to help me carry some of my burden.
593
00:30:31,874 --> 00:30:32,875
He ain't wrong.
594
00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:34,251
That's not a terrible idea.
595
00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:38,213
Oh, boy.
596
00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:39,298
What?
597
00:30:39,298 --> 00:30:40,632
That little prick.
598
00:30:40,632 --> 00:30:42,509
- Who?
- Just check your phone.
599
00:30:48,515 --> 00:30:49,975
Yo, you see what Nate said about us?
600
00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,061
Check this out. Look.
601
00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:54,521
- What happened?
- What?
602
00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:56,023
- You see?
- No, no, no.
603
00:30:57,649 --> 00:30:59,026
I better say something.
604
00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:01,320
Hey, hey, lads, lads, lads.
605
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,782
Remember, it's just poopy. Let it flow.
606
00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:08,702
- Yeah.
- Just like in the sewer.
607
00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:10,996
Bingo, "el ringo".
608
00:31:10,996 --> 00:31:13,665
- Clever, Jamie.
- Yeah.
609
00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:16,877
All right.
610
00:31:25,511 --> 00:31:26,970
Hey, boss.
611
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,055
Where were you this afternoon?
612
00:31:28,055 --> 00:31:30,849
I took the fellows
on a little impromptu field trip.
613
00:31:30,849 --> 00:31:34,102
Yes, to a sewer, Ted. I know.
Everyone knows.
614
00:31:35,062 --> 00:31:36,813
And you're upset that I didn't invite you?
615
00:31:36,813 --> 00:31:38,232
No, Coach Lasso,
616
00:31:38,232 --> 00:31:42,903
I'm upset because the team that I own
is projected to finish last this season.
617
00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:47,866
And my manager decided to skip training
and take our players into a fucking sewer.
618
00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:50,827
No, yeah, I can see your point, yeah.
619
00:31:51,578 --> 00:31:53,163
Did you hear what Nathan
was saying about you?
620
00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,792
- Yes, ma'am.
- And are you planning on addressing that?
621
00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,418
No, ma'am.
622
00:31:59,753 --> 00:32:01,922
Everyone is laughing at us, Ted.
623
00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:05,300
At you, at our team, at me.
624
00:32:06,343 --> 00:32:08,595
Rupert is laughing at me, Ted.
625
00:32:09,471 --> 00:32:15,102
And I am begging you, please, fight back.
626
00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:21,275
Yeah. Sarah.
627
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,443
- Hey, I like the new hair color.
- Thank you.
628
00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:24,403
You do it just for fun
629
00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:26,071
- or are you going through a breakup?
- Both.
630
00:32:26,071 --> 00:32:27,573
Yep, no, I get it. What you got?
631
00:32:27,573 --> 00:32:30,242
Coach, how are you feeling
about the unanimous opinion
632
00:32:30,242 --> 00:32:32,828
that Richmond will be
relegated again at the end of the season?
633
00:32:33,453 --> 00:32:34,580
Yeah, that's true, isn't it?
634
00:32:34,580 --> 00:32:38,458
Expectations for us are as low
as a rattlesnake's belly button, huh?
635
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,712
But, hey, we got 38 chances to prove
all them folks wrong though, right?
636
00:32:41,712 --> 00:32:44,756
Yeah. And my hopes are
as high as a giraffe's top hat.
637
00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:45,716
Next question.
638
00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:49,052
And if it is, "Why is a giraffe wearing
a top hat?" Don't ask me, man.
639
00:32:49,052 --> 00:32:50,804
Go ask a giraffe.
640
00:32:50,804 --> 00:32:52,764
- Coach?
- Yeah, Marcus.
641
00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,391
Marcus Adebayo, The Independent.
642
00:32:56,476 --> 00:32:57,561
Congrats on the new gig.
643
00:32:57,561 --> 00:32:59,563
- Thank you.
- What have you got for me?
644
00:32:59,563 --> 00:33:01,523
Do you have any response
to comments made earlier today
645
00:33:01,523 --> 00:33:03,734
by your former assistant coach,
Nathan Shelley?
646
00:33:08,989 --> 00:33:09,865
Yes, I do.
647
00:33:10,699 --> 00:33:11,742
Yeah.
648
00:33:12,618 --> 00:33:13,785
I thought it was hilarious.
649
00:33:16,914 --> 00:33:19,416
I mean, he came and got us, didn't he?
No doubt about that.
650
00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:21,877
Hey, but that's
Nate the Great for you, you know?
651
00:33:21,877 --> 00:33:23,045
He's the same way on the pitch.
652
00:33:23,045 --> 00:33:25,672
He'll find the tiniest
little weakness in a team
653
00:33:25,672 --> 00:33:28,342
and just want to attack that, you know?
654
00:33:28,342 --> 00:33:31,345
I mean, he's a junkyard dog, man.
And smart.
655
00:33:31,345 --> 00:33:33,430
They're real lucky to have him
over there at West Ham.
656
00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:34,681
I wish him the best of luck.
657
00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:42,773
I guess I am a little surprised
that's all he could come up with.
658
00:33:42,773 --> 00:33:44,066
Especially against me.
659
00:33:44,066 --> 00:33:46,443
You know, not one
joke about me being a dumb American?
660
00:33:46,443 --> 00:33:50,155
Come on, man. It's sitting there.
I mean, I'm so dumb...
661
00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,954
Y'all are supposed to say,
"How dumb are you?"
662
00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,914
- Gary.
- Why?
663
00:33:59,623 --> 00:34:01,250
Well, I mean,
it's just classic joke structure.
664
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:03,627
Give it a shot. I mean, I'm so dumb...
665
00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:06,046
- Lloyd.
- How dumb are you?
666
00:34:07,756 --> 00:34:10,467
Okay. Well, I'm so dumb
that the first time I heard y'all
667
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:11,635
talking about Yorkshire pudding,
668
00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:14,137
I thought it was a fancy word
y'all had for dog poop.
669
00:34:15,681 --> 00:34:17,391
Yeah. I mean, I'm so dumb...
670
00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:19,726
- How dumb are you?
- How-- How dumb are you?
671
00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:21,562
Yeah, all right, well, you know.
672
00:34:21,562 --> 00:34:26,233
Well, whenever I text someone over here
about money, I still spell "pounds" L-B-S.
673
00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:30,571
Look, man, I'm not a great coach.
Probably ain't.
674
00:34:30,571 --> 00:34:32,572
I've been doing
this sport now for three years,
675
00:34:32,572 --> 00:34:35,617
and I still get a chuckle every time
someone talks about a handball violation.
676
00:34:37,536 --> 00:34:40,664
Yeah, and not one crack about
my appearance? About this mustache?
677
00:34:40,664 --> 00:34:44,751
I look like Ned Flanders
is doing cosplay as Ned Flanders.
678
00:34:46,753 --> 00:34:49,715
{\an8}When I talk, it sounds like
Dr. Phil hasn't gone through puberty yet.
679
00:34:52,384 --> 00:34:56,054
Yeah, I'm more corny
than Kevin Costner's outfield.
680
00:34:57,931 --> 00:35:00,142
I lost you on that one. Yeah.
681
00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:01,435
Swing and a miss.
682
00:35:01,435 --> 00:35:04,897
Yeah. Field of Dreams? No?
683
00:35:04,897 --> 00:35:07,107
I guess y'all
don't really like baseball here,
684
00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:09,318
so why would you like movies about it?
The...
685
00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:13,614
Well, hey, how about this one?
686
00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:15,240
Regarding my panic attacks,
687
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,202
I've had more psychotic episodes
than Twin Peaks.
688
00:35:20,746 --> 00:35:22,039
I mean, I'm so crazy...
689
00:35:22,039 --> 00:35:24,291
- How crazy are you?
- How crazy are you?
690
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,792
There we go.
691
00:36:01,203 --> 00:36:02,454
Coach Shelley?
692
00:36:03,664 --> 00:36:05,123
I have a package for you.
693
00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:06,792
Thank you.
694
00:36:10,087 --> 00:36:11,672
It's from Mr. Mannion.
695
00:36:20,514 --> 00:36:23,141
I don't know if I should open it
in front of you or wait for you to leave.
696
00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:24,476
It's a car.
697
00:37:19,448 --> 00:37:21,116
I'm finished, Uncle Roy.
698
00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:31,752
Ice cream before dinner?
699
00:37:32,336 --> 00:37:34,713
Either you think
I did something very good,
700
00:37:34,713 --> 00:37:36,798
or you guys did something very bad.
701
00:37:40,177 --> 00:37:45,224
Phoebs, your Uncle Roy
and I have something we need to tell you.
702
00:37:47,392 --> 00:37:48,894
Okay, what?
703
00:37:50,479 --> 00:37:52,189
- We're going on a break.
- We broke up.
704
00:37:57,319 --> 00:37:58,403
Which is it?
705
00:37:59,530 --> 00:38:01,281
- Well--
- We broke up.
706
00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:07,746
But don't worry, because your Uncle Roy
and I talked,
707
00:38:07,746 --> 00:38:11,124
and you and I can still see each other
whenever you want to.
708
00:38:12,334 --> 00:38:13,335
Why?
709
00:38:15,546 --> 00:38:18,632
Because we thought
you'd wanna hang out with me sometimes.
710
00:38:19,216 --> 00:38:22,344
No, no. Why are you breaking up?
711
00:38:28,725 --> 00:38:30,644
That's a good question.
712
00:38:36,650 --> 00:38:38,151
We're too busy.
713
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:42,447
But you were both busy before.
714
00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,870
We're more busy now.
715
00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:50,998
How so?
716
00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:58,046
Keeley's got her own company now, so
that takes up a lot of her time and focus.
717
00:38:58,046 --> 00:39:00,174
And we had a coach quit,
718
00:39:00,174 --> 00:39:04,052
so it's now my responsibility for tactics
and strategies and shi--
719
00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:07,556
Roy, I know you're scared about that,
but it's gon--
720
00:39:13,145 --> 00:39:14,146
Right.
721
00:39:16,857 --> 00:39:19,067
Do you wanna talk about it some more, or...
722
00:39:19,735 --> 00:39:23,155
No, not really. It makes sense.
723
00:39:23,155 --> 00:39:25,949
I mean, you were only together a year.
724
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:31,580
And few relationships can survive
a major career change, much less two.
725
00:39:34,374 --> 00:39:37,836
Besides, my mum and dad split up
when I were four,
726
00:39:37,836 --> 00:39:41,548
so one of my core beliefs
is that nothing lasts forever.
727
00:39:45,093 --> 00:39:47,763
I am happy
we still get to be friends though.
728
00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:49,848
Yeah, so am I.
729
00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:54,269
We should probably go.
730
00:39:54,269 --> 00:39:56,688
All that ice cream's already doing
a number on my tummy.
731
00:39:58,982 --> 00:39:59,983
Right.
732
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,952
- Uncle Roy?
- Yeah?
733
00:40:10,619 --> 00:40:12,621
Are you sure you're doing the right thing?
734
00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,125
I don't know.
735
00:40:19,169 --> 00:40:20,963
Can I say a bad word?
736
00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:22,047
Go on.
737
00:40:22,548 --> 00:40:24,424
I think you're being stupid.
738
00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:35,018
Something on your mind, Coach?
739
00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:40,232
You ever wonder why we're here, Coach?
740
00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:42,401
In London or on Earth?
741
00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:46,446
Well, both, I guess, but for the sake of
this conversation, let's go with London.
742
00:40:46,446 --> 00:40:47,698
Carry on.
743
00:40:47,698 --> 00:40:50,284
I mean, look, I know it's nuts
we came here in the first place,
744
00:40:50,284 --> 00:40:52,703
but at this point,
I can't tell if it's more crazy
745
00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:54,872
or less crazy that we're still here.
746
00:40:56,582 --> 00:40:58,250
We grabbing a beer, Coach?
747
00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:00,961
No, I can't. I wanna talk to Henry. Why?
748
00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:03,088
'Cause we just passed your apartment.
749
00:41:03,088 --> 00:41:05,174
Shoot. Okay. Night, Coach.
750
00:41:05,174 --> 00:41:06,258
Night, Coach.
751
00:41:10,971 --> 00:41:11,805
Hi, Dad.
752
00:41:11,805 --> 00:41:15,017
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Carmen Sandiego himself.
753
00:41:15,726 --> 00:41:16,727
How was your flight?
754
00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:19,479
It was good.
I watched a movie called The Exorcist.
755
00:41:19,479 --> 00:41:21,023
Wait, you did what?
756
00:41:21,023 --> 00:41:22,191
I'm kidding.
757
00:41:23,901 --> 00:41:24,943
That was good. You got me.
758
00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:27,321
Hey, hey, check it out.
759
00:41:27,321 --> 00:41:28,697
I put the trophy you gave me
760
00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:31,658
right down here smack-dab
in the middle of Nelson Road Stadium.
761
00:41:31,658 --> 00:41:32,993
- How about that?
- That's great,
762
00:41:32,993 --> 00:41:35,662
but why is Nate off to the side?
763
00:41:36,413 --> 00:41:39,583
Well, remember, he's not
part of the team anymore, yeah?
764
00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:41,793
Yeah, but you can still be friends, right?
765
00:41:42,961 --> 00:41:44,630
You know what? You're right, buddy. Here.
766
00:41:44,630 --> 00:41:47,424
Yeah. All right.
Let me fix that for you right now.
767
00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:50,010
Yeah.
768
00:41:50,010 --> 00:41:51,303
There you go.
769
00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:53,180
Hey, big guy,
770
00:41:54,264 --> 00:41:55,933
you know I don't like being away
from you, right?
771
00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:57,226
Yeah.
772
00:41:57,226 --> 00:41:59,728
And that I'd only ever do it
for something really important.
773
00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:01,230
You know, something I believe in, yeah?
774
00:42:01,230 --> 00:42:02,272
Yeah.
775
00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,191
And do you understand why I'm still here?
776
00:42:04,191 --> 00:42:06,693
Of course. To win the whole thing.
777
00:42:07,945 --> 00:42:10,280
Well, now, don't forget.
Winning ain't everything.
778
00:42:10,906 --> 00:42:13,450
Yeah, Dad, but you gotta try, right?
779
00:42:16,703 --> 00:42:18,121
No, you're absolutely right.
780
00:42:18,997 --> 00:42:20,374
We always have to try.
781
00:42:20,374 --> 00:42:24,628
Good. Now the universe is alive!
782
00:42:25,379 --> 00:42:26,547
What is that?
783
00:42:26,547 --> 00:42:29,883
Thanos's Infinity Gauntlet.
Jake gave it to me.
784
00:42:29,883 --> 00:42:33,887
Oh, snap. Well, that is cool. Who's Jake?
785
00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:35,597
Mommy's friend.
786
00:42:38,225 --> 00:42:39,726
See? It lights up.
787
00:42:42,855 --> 00:42:43,856
Great.