1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,630
["Lovely Day/Good As Hell Mashup" playing]
2
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,862
So remember that the client pays
for the shoot,
3
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,781
but we pay for the overtime.
4
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,659
So whatever you do, don't go over.
5
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,119
But make the commercial
as good as possible too, right?
6
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,665
[sighs] Um, yeah. Sure. Whatever.
7
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,375
[gasps] Ooh, and I had an idea.
8
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,961
Maybe we could all have a picnic together
in the conference room?
9
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,838
Um, I can't make it.
10
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,048
- I didn't tell you when it was.
- I know.
11
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:52,719
Oh, come on, Barbara. Could be fun.
12
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,390
We could get to know each other a little.
Maybe loosen things up around here.
13
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,059
Well, I've worked with this lot before,
14
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,021
and, um, yeah,
this is as loose as they get.
15
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:13,866
- Hmm. We'll see about that, Babs.
- Oh, no. Don't.
16
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,784
Yep. I felt that as soon as I said it.
17
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:19,913
[clears throat, breathes deeply]
All right, I'm headed out.
18
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,583
Everyone have a great day, yeah?
19
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,672
Oi, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
20
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,855
What wouldn't she do?
21
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,191
{\an8}[theme music playing]
22
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,755
Good morning, Viet--
23
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,089
- Ted!
- [laughing]
24
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,550
- Hey, look who's here. Hi, Keeley.
- Hello, Ted.
25
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,053
Whoa! Trent Crimm. Are you kidding me?
26
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,554
Hey, nice to see you, man.
27
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,848
{\an8}You know, they got a big old Ziploc bag
full of your hair ties
28
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,725
{\an8}down at the lost and found.
You should pop on down,
29
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:22,643
{\an8}if you still want 'em.
30
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:27,231
{\an8}Thank you. Mr. Crimm has requested
to follow the club this year.
31
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:28,273
Ooh.
32
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,026
- He wants to write a book about us.
- Oh, yeah?
33
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,861
I think there's a story here
worth telling, Ted.
34
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,073
Yes, and we all love the idea.
35
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,824
But obviously, as manager,
36
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,952
we thought you should have
the final decision. [chuckles]
37
00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:42,829
{\an8}[stammers, clicks tongue] Oh, okay, uh...
38
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:48,710
{\an8}I mean, geez,
you know, like, um-- [clicking tongue]
39
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,551
[mouthing words] No.
40
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:59,096
[inhales deeply] Whoo.
[exhales sharply, babbles]
41
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:02,474
Sure, what the heck?
Why not? When can you start?
42
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,477
{\an8}No time like the present.
W-- Except 11:11. That's my wishing time.
43
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:09,189
{\an8}Or 23:11, if, uh,
I'm at a military base or Euro Disney.
44
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,942
{\an8}Right, well. [inhales deeply]
Decision made. [exhales sharply]
45
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,944
Wonderful. Trent, welcome.
46
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,821
[phone buzzes]
47
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,906
- Holy shit.
- Uh-oh.
48
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,700
Zava is leaving Juventus.
49
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,410
Whoa!
50
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,746
{\an8}What about their kids? I'm sorry. I didn't
know what any of those things meant.
51
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,540
{\an8}I thought it was like Greek mythology
or something.
52
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,208
{\an8}I was just lost.
I just went with that. Sorry.
53
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,253
{\an8}Zava's a world-class striker
who's about to leave his club in Italy.
54
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,547
{\an8}Ooh, cacio later, Pepe. [chuckles]
55
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,175
{\an8}Apparently, he wants to play
in the Premier League
56
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:39,761
{\an8}because his wife binged The Office
and she wants to live in England.
57
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,847
Ooh, I think you mean Scranton,
Pennsylvania, buddy.
58
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,640
No, the British Office, Ted.
59
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,893
Oh, that's right.
Y'all did a premake over here.
60
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,811
If we got Zava, that would be amazing.
61
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,898
{\an8}He would be huge for the club's brand.
He's got like 90 million followers.
62
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,483
{\an8}One time he just
posted the word "7 million likes."
63
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,776
{\an8}It got 10 million likes.
64
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,405
{\an8}Yes, but he is very expensive. And isn't
he supposed to be a bit of a diva?
65
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,074
{\an8}Yes, huge diva. Enormous.
66
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,869
{\an8}He goes through teams like you
go through manicurists.
67
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,413
{\an8}The fumes make me dizzy, and I overshare.
68
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,874
{\an8}Please don't print that.
69
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,919
{\an8}Zava has played for 14 teams in 15 years,
70
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,213
{\an8}leaving behind nothing
but chaos and trophies.
71
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,507
{\an8}[sighs] Beautiful, shiny trophies.
72
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:19,384
{\an8}Yes, but, Leslie,
who wants to deal with all that drama?
73
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,554
{\an8}Apparently, everyone who can afford him.
74
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:26,099
{\an8}- Chelsea, Arsenal, United, West Ham.
- [sighs]
75
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,392
I say, let's just go for it.
76
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:31,021
I mean, maybe he's a handful,
but who doesn't love a handful?
77
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,024
{\an8}I mean, if you're talking salted peanuts,
yes, please.
78
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,734
{\an8}If you're talking Skittles though,
no, thank you.
79
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,861
You know, the dye melts,
and it gets all over your fingers,
80
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,196
makes 'em all sticky. [chuckles]
81
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,697
And that, you can print.
82
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,078
- Wonderful. Let's set up a meeting.
- Great.
83
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,163
- [chuckles] Let's go and get Zava.
- Yes!
84
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,748
- We're doing it.
- Zava dabba doo! [laughing]
85
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083
- [laughs]
- [Keeley] Yeah.
86
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,876
Here we go. Yeah, come on.
87
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,253
[Keeley] This is exciting.
88
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,463
So, am I to assume
that you're going to pursue
89
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,175
{\an8}a notoriously mercurial player
you can't really afford simply
90
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,511
{\an8}because the team your ex-husband
owns wants him?
91
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,974
[mouthing words] No, no, no, no, no.
92
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,601
Yes.
93
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,230
Love that.
94
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,238
So, hey, come on. Talk to me.
95
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,324
What's it like being the boss
of your own Keeley Street Band, huh?
96
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,118
- Oh, I think it's going really good.
- Yeah?
97
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:27,452
{\an8}- Yeah. [stammers]
- Good, good.
98
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,789
{\an8}Well, I do wish that my co-workers
would loosen up just a little bit.
99
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,625
- Mmm. You want my advice?
- Yes.
100
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,669
Y'all should go out
and do something together.
101
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,296
[stammers] You know, like outside of work.
102
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,922
- That's a great idea.
- Yeah, yeah.
103
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,842
{\an8}[gasps] Ooh, like,
maybe I could hire a shaman
104
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,720
{\an8}and we could do a bunch
of ayahuasca under a blood moon.
105
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,806
{\an8}I-I was thinking something
like an escape room,
106
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558
but, hey, Clamato Clamato, right?
107
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,768
- Yeah. [chuckles] Thanks, Ted.
- Good to see you. Yeah.
108
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,103
- Keeley!
- [gasps] Yeah?
109
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,897
Isaac. Hi. You all right?
110
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,940
Yeah. Can you help me get a shoe deal?
111
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,985
Oh, I'd love to. Any brand in particular?
112
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,031
{\an8}No brands.
Just shoes, in general. You know.
113
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,367
{\an8}Great. I'll look into it for you.
114
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:08,952
{\an8}[snaps]
115
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,580
{\an8}- Hi, guys.
- Keeley.
116
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,040
{\an8}Hi, Keeley.
117
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,708
{\an8}- Hi, Jamie.
- How you doing? You good, yeah?
118
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,293
Yeah, I'm all right. You?
119
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:20,297
Yeah, yeah. Not-- Not bad.
Yeah, yeah. Um, g-gym.
120
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,299
- Just went to the gym. So, yeah. Good.
- Good.
121
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,095
Uh... Glad you're good.
Um, I'll see you later.
122
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,514
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Bye.
123
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,768
- Bruv.
- What's up, man?
124
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,775
Whoa. Keeley and Roy have broken up.
125
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,361
What? Who told you that?
126
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,781
It's not "who," bruv.
It's "what." Kinesics.
127
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,367
Study of body language. Just look at 'em.
128
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,537
No eye contact, Keeley's crossed arms.
129
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:57,209
Roy's clenched arse. It's science.
130
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,281
- What do you want?
- You and Keeley break up?
131
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,033
- Who told you that?
- No one.
132
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,869
I use body science.
133
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,872
Why? Is it true?
134
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:39,835
[grunts]
135
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:41,712
Hmm.
136
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,131
What's that fucking face?
137
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,592
It's called empathy, you dusty, old fart.
138
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:51,388
Look, as someone who's been dumped
by Keeley, I get it.
139
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:56,059
- She didn't dump me.
- You dumped her? Why?
140
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,979
I don't want to talk about it.
Why'd you come in here?
141
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,689
Oh, let me guess.
142
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,941
You want to know if it's okay
to ask her out, right?
143
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:07,946
No, I was just-- [stammers]
I was just seeing if you were okay, man.
144
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,327
Dickhead.
145
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,786
- What the fuck you doing?
- I was gonna hug you.
146
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,915
- Well, you came at me too fast.
- Jesus, sorry.
147
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,918
I forget how skittish elderly people
could be 'cause of the war.
148
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,587
Come on, man.
I was just trying to comfort you.
149
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:25,214
Well, I don't want comfort.
150
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,257
And I told you,
I don't want to talk about it.
151
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,926
So don't you say a fucking word.
Do you hear me?
152
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,469
Fine, I won't.
153
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,722
And don't you say a fucking word
about it either, William.
154
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,099
I-- No, no, I won't.
155
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,393
I-- I actually just went through a bit
of a breakup myself,
156
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,270
so I can somewhat relate.
157
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,023
Um, hey,
maybe we should all go out sometime.
158
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,359
Us three. You know, get a couple drinks,
couple pints, couple shots.
159
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,028
Fishbowls.
[inhales deeply] Single guys club.
160
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,407
Or I can just not say a fucking word.
161
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,451
No, I hear you. I hear you loud and clear.
162
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,078
Well, you are a sleepwalker.
163
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,163
I don't know what else to tell you. Period.
164
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,251
Hey, Coach.
165
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,420
[clicks tongue] What are you doing?
166
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,173
Oh, just taking a peek at one
167
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,759
of these soccer strategy books you always
got your nose in. [chuckles]
168
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,389
What do you think?
169
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,892
Well, given the struggles I've already had
with the table of contents,
170
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,519
I think I might be best served to wait
171
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:23,063
until this son of a gun
comes out as a movie. [chuckles]
172
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,692
Hey, let me ask you a couple questions.
173
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,235
One, what would you think if we sign Zava?
174
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,737
- [screams]
- Ooh. That's good, right?
175
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,406
- [sighs] Zava? Yeah.
- Okay.
176
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,075
[stammers] Second question. Who is Zava?
177
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,245
[stammers] He's a living legend.
You know who Zava is.
178
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,163
Mmm, beg to differ, Claudia Schiffer.
179
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,716
{\an8}- [screams]
- [speaking indistinctly]
180
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:53,093
Now why you got me
watching the Veggie Dog Vigilante here?
181
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:54,803
{\an8}Hey. Whoa.
182
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,139
{\an8}- No way.
- [grunts]
183
00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,433
{\an8}[Coach Beard] Because that's Zava.
184
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,227
That's Zava?
185
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,355
{\an8}Well, shoot.
I didn't know this fella played football.
186
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:08,483
[chuckles] Hey, I said football
without even thinking about it.
187
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,652
Boy, that book really works.
188
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,029
- [phone chimes]
- Ooh.
189
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,616
Ooh, 11:11. Make a wish.
190
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,372
- What'd you wish for? Oh, come on, Coach.
- I can't tell you that.
191
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,166
I just don't want our wishes
to cancel each other out.
192
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,418
- That's not how it works.
- [Sam] Shut the fuck up.
193
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,295
- Take it back.
- Uh-oh, now what?
194
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,338
Take it back.
195
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,089
I can't take back things
that's already happened.
196
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,550
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Fellas, what's wrong?
197
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,636
Coach,
w-we just heard the most upsetting rumor.
198
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,430
- Okay, is this about us getting Zava?
- [player] Huh?
199
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,140
- What?
- We're getting Zava?
200
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,477
I just wished for that 30 seconds ago.
201
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,729
[clamoring, cheering]
202
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,150
Whoa, whoa, wait, no, whoa, whoa.
203
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,443
Hold on a second, okay?
204
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,862
If y'all weren't talking about Zava,
what were you so upset about?
205
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,906
Is it 'cause Trent Crimm's
writing a book about us?
206
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,908
- What?
- [murmuring]
207
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,410
Wait, Trent Crimm's writing a book
about Zava joining our team?
208
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,205
[stammers] No, no. He's just coming here
to write a book about the team.
209
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,706
Zava's writing a book about us?
210
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,166
No, Trent Crimm.
211
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127
Why would Zava write a book
about Trent Crimm?
212
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,380
[players shouting]
213
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,592
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop!
Okay, hold on a second.
214
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,262
If y'all didn't know about Zava,
which may or may not happen,
215
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,057
and y'all didn't know about Trent Crimm,
which is happening,
216
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,393
then what were you so worked up about?
217
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,689
Roy and Keeley broke up.
218
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,274
[screams]
219
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,609
- [exclaims]
- Whoa, Coach.
220
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,028
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[chuckles] Sorry, no, I'm okay.
221
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,114
Got a little light-headed there.
Yeah, thank you.
222
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,365
Fuck's going on?
223
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:42,870
- [all] Aw.
- Tartt!
224
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,580
Hey, hey, hey, hey. I didn't say anything.
225
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,331
I will fucking kill you.
226
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,709
No, I came in, and they was talking
about us getting Zava.
227
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:52,421
What? We're getting Zava?
228
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,798
Roy, do you want to talk about it?
229
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,134
No, I'm not talking about me and Keeley.
230
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,470
No, I meant Zava.
Do you want to talk about it?
231
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,015
Sure, he's nuts,
but he'll help us win games.
232
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,142
That time I was actually talking
about you and Keeley.
233
00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:07,561
- Fuck's sake.
- Hey, uh, Will, come here a sec.
234
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,062
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm here.
- Hey.
235
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,440
I need you to run to my apartment,
go into my desk,
236
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,318
and grab my CD
called "Ted's breakup mix." Okay?
237
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,861
- Got it. What's a CD?
- Okay.
238
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,571
- Oh, boy.
- On it.
239
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,114
Hey, Coach, you gonna need my keys.
240
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,908
- I got a set.
- Right.
241
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,285
- [stammers] Thanks. Don't worry about it.
- Okay.
242
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,704
Hey, Roy, look, we're here for you. Okay?
243
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,040
We've all been dumped before,
right, fellas?
244
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,374
[players murmuring]
245
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,044
She didn't dump me. I broke up with her.
246
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:34,838
- [players murmuring]
- [screams] What?
247
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:37,674
This day couldn't get any worse.
248
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,510
And this is the locker room. Hello, boys.
249
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:42,387
- I believe you all know Trent Crimm.
- Gentlemen.
250
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,097
The fuck is this prick doing here?
251
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,266
Trent's writing a book about our season,
252
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,853
so let's welcome him with open arms
and open minds.
253
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:52,481
- Absolutely. Yes.
- [players chattering]
254
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:57,069
Oi! Listen up!
255
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,865
No one says a fucking word
around this prick
256
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,827
unless they want my forehead
through their fucking skull!
257
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,290
Don't worry.
258
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,672
- Okay, well, um...
- [door slams]
259
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,384
...we'll work out the specifics later.
[chuckles]
260
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:24,096
Um, but until then, welcome,
Trent. [chuckles]
261
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,223
Whoo! [chuckles]
262
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,641
[player shushes]
263
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,104
I mean, fuck off, Trent Crimm.
264
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,148
[upbeat music playing]
265
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,441
[bleats]
266
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:58,547
- And cut! Thank you, folks. Moving on.
- [bell rings]
267
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:03,093
Okay. Now the lamb chugs
a Cafka mini and poof,
268
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,637
turns into a smoking hot lion.
269
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:09,099
Great, b-but we can't actually
make the lamb drink the Cafka mini, right?
270
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,226
- No, of course not.
- [Jimmy] Okay, good.
271
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:15,063
We were told by the people
in the lab, the lamb cannot drink it.
272
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,691
Yeah, no, it will die instantly.
273
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,151
- Something about enzymes.
- Hmm.
274
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,069
I totally get it.
275
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,073
- I just don't think she does.
- No. I don't think she got it.
276
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,825
Keeley fucking Jones.
277
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,078
Shandy fucking Fine?
278
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,706
[screams, laughs]
279
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,834
Oh, my God!
I didn't know you were doing this.
280
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,003
I didn't know you owned a skirt
that covered your whole arse.
281
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,088
Oi, you borrowed
and never returned many of those skirts.
282
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,089
And I never will.
283
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,091
One of the perks of living
with you and the girls.
284
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,053
- Oh, the girls! How are they? How's Chloe?
- Uh, married a footballer.
285
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,013
- And Emma?
- Married a footballer.
286
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,223
And what about you?
287
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,266
Married a footballer,
divorced a footballer.
288
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,684
And now I'm back here doing this.
289
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,271
But enough about me.
I saw you in Vanity Fair.
290
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:59,399
- Fully clothed. And I cried.
- [chuckles]
291
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,568
I'm so proud of you, babe. We all are.
292
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,779
Proud of me? Why?
293
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,116
'Cause you made it out
all by yourself. [chuckles]
294
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:13,789
[sniffing] What is that smell?
295
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:16,416
Oh, apologies, uh, lamb droppings
296
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,418
are one of nature's
most unpleasant aromas.
297
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:22,297
Just be grateful Clarice here
is over 30 days old.
298
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:26,760
A week ago, her poop
looked like sour, yellow toothpaste.
299
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,887
- [lamb bleating]
- [gags] Ugh!
300
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,056
Oh, no, no. Don't try and sweep it.
301
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,851
No, you gotta pick it up like sushi
or it'll smear.
302
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:36,395
I was married to a footballer.
303
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,231
[Shandy] That's it. Cheers, babe.
304
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,233
- Hey, Keeley.
- Yes?
305
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,902
Jimmy and I think
the club feels too empty.
306
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,529
Yeah, it should feel totally packed.
307
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,282
I mean, can we get maybe
another 100 extras?
308
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,826
- A hundred more, right now?
- Mmm.
309
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:52,244
- Yeah.
- Um...
310
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,663
You could just add a strobe effect
to the post
311
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,790
and let people cross close to camera.
312
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,000
It'll feel really packed,
313
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,835
and you won't have
to spend any more money.
314
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,296
- I love that.
- Let's do that.
315
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,672
Thank you so much.
316
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,843
Look at you. Basically running the shoot.
317
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,928
Oh, maybe one day I'll make it out
like you did.
318
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:12,890
Yeah.
319
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,224
[computer ringing]
320
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:17,769
Hello, Mother.
321
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:21,815
Oh, my God, darling... [inhales sharply]
...I'm so pleased to hear your voice.
322
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,318
I dreamt last night
that you'd been murdered.
323
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,236
No, still here.
324
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,404
[sighs]
325
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,072
Wait, why are you in a hotel room?
326
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,366
I thought you were meant
to be on some three-day,
327
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,910
spiritual camping retreat.
328
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,871
I am. I'm not sleeping out there.
329
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,581
Far too many stars.
330
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:41,835
I keep thinking they're all staring at me,
you know. [inhales sharply]
331
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,213
No, but listen.
I've got some exciting news for you.
332
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,173
I spoke to Tish the other day,
333
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,926
and she's agreed
to consider meeting with you.
334
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:51,345
Wow! Your psychic has actually agreed
335
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:55,224
to let me pay her a lot of money
to speak with her? Amazing.
336
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,976
N-- Well, no. She's considering it.
337
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,896
But I think you meeting
with Tish would be perfect because,
338
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:05,150
well, you know, you are in desperate need
of some maternal guidance.
339
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,276
Just a minute.
340
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:09,279
There's a group of people
gathering outside for scream therapy,
341
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,490
which is my favorite bit.
[inhales sharply]
342
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,909
So I'd better go now
because I mustn't use my voice.
343
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:16,203
- Bye-bye, sausage.
- But you called me.
344
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,119
[knocking]
345
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,330
I have an update on the meeting with Zava.
346
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,374
Oh, great.
347
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:23,252
- Zava doesn't want to meet with us.
- What? Why not?
348
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,795
Uh, his people said,
349
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:28,715
"It would be a waste of time
for us and an embarrassment for him."
350
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:32,010
Oh, that feels like
an unnecessarily cruel response.
351
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,471
But, good news,
Zava is signing with Chelsea.
352
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,890
W-Why is that good news?
353
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,559
Because he's not signing with West Ham.
354
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,270
He came right out and said,
"I will not sign with West Ham."
355
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,981
Oh, shit. That's only going
to make Rupert want him more.
356
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:45,607
Uh, there's nothing Rupert can do.
357
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:46,733
Oh, great. Now you've jinxed it.
358
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,610
- But I thi--
- No, it's too late. Jinxed it.
359
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,113
- But I do think that-- [stammers]
- It's done.
360
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,990
- Well done.
- Oh.
361
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,075
["A Well Respected Man" playing]
362
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,662
Afternoon.
363
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,295
Hi.
364
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:08,797
Ah, Jamie.
365
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:13,302
Ah, no. No. [chuckles]
366
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,190
Looking good out there today.
367
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:34,740
Cool.
368
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:40,078
[players clamoring]
369
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,167
[song continues]
370
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,133
[sighs]
371
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:03,393
Ah.
Thanks for sharing your office with me.
372
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,605
Even if it was Ted's idea. [chuckles]
373
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:09,733
[Roy groans]
374
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,165
[Trent sighs]
375
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:44,017
So, Richmond against Chelsea?
376
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:47,563
That will be your first time back there
since you retired. Right?
377
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,318
Right.
378
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,904
[exhaling in short bursts]
379
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:59,032
- [phone ringing]
- [sighs] Sorry.
380
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,662
Yeah, it's my publisher.
[inhales sharply] I'll be quick.
381
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:08,584
Hey. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no. Well, I-I'm here now.
382
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:10,586
[smacks lips]
It's going very well, actually.
383
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,796
[inhales sharply]
I'm just getting settled in. [grunts]
384
00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:16,425
Um, yes. [stammers] Everyone's been, um...
385
00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:19,052
[inhales sharply] ...very welcom--
[exhales sharply] ...welcoming.
386
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:23,307
Yeah. No, I can hear that, um--
[clears throat] ...that noise too.
387
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,976
Uh, I'm not sure if that's my--
Is that me or you?
388
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,062
I-- Do you know what?
[stammers] Bear with me. One moment.
389
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,024
[inhales sharply]
I'll, uh, I'll take this outside.
390
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:38,864
[sighs]
391
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:40,949
- Is this right? [laughs]
- It is. [chuckles]
392
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:46,079
[clears throat] Uh, yes.
Your company credit card arrived.
393
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,372
Awesome. Thank you.
394
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,708
- Do not use it.
- Okay.
395
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:53,128
Barbara, I would love
for you to meet Shandy.
396
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:54,922
- Hi.
- Oh, hello. Hi.
397
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,548
She's the newest member of KJPR.
398
00:20:57,216 --> 00:21:02,846
Oh. Um, what position
has she been hired for?
399
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,767
She will be consulting
400
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:13,023
for affiliate management
401
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:15,400
and...
402
00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:19,530
- client relationships.
- Yeah.
403
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,240
[smacks lips] Okay.
404
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,867
Would you have a-a seat, uh, Shandy?
Shandy, is it?
405
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,869
- Yeah. [smacks lips] Sorry.
- So, uh, when I p--
406
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:28,372
Just-- Yeah, just put it in there.
Put the sweet in there.
407
00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:34,169
Um, well, I'd love to know
what experience you have in these areas.
408
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,839
- Uh, in relationships, tons.
- Mmm.
409
00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:39,842
The rest of it, not much. [laughs]
410
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:42,261
[laughs, coughs]
411
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:45,472
And where did you go to university?
412
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:49,643
- [smacks lips] I didn't go university.
- Didn't go?
413
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,144
- No.
- Okay.
414
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,606
And what were you doing right before this?
415
00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:56,650
[clicks tongue] I was modeling. [chuckles]
416
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,487
Yeah. Okay, thanks, Shandy.
417
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,738
All right. I think I've got it.
418
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:05,409
So you've hired a former model
with no previous experience,
419
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:09,538
no higher education for a job
that doesn't exist. Lovely.
420
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:16,086
Well, welcome to the team, Shandy.
421
00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,601
I'm so sorry. I'll handle this.
422
00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:38,108
[clears throat]
423
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:41,904
Barbara, I need a minute to talk with you.
424
00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:43,071
[door closes]
425
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:48,827
The way you just treated Shandy
was incredibly rude. It was hurtful.
426
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:54,625
- What?
- That is a massive amount of snow globes.
427
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,044
Oh, yeah. I-I collect them. [stammers]
428
00:22:57,586 --> 00:23:01,340
Well, you know, the firm sends me
from, um, company to company,
429
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,468
and yeah, wherever I go, I just, uh,
buy a snow globe.
430
00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:06,929
It's a little bit silly, really.
431
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:09,765
No, I think it's incredibly charming.
432
00:23:16,188 --> 00:23:19,191
You cannot speak to people like that.
Not here.
433
00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:23,237
I know Shandy's my friend,
and you're right.
434
00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:28,867
She does not have the experience. But she
is smart. She's eager. I believe in her.
435
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,579
Like the firm must believe in you
436
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:36,416
to send you all over the world
to all those lovely places, right?
437
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,884
Maybe you and I can see how good it feels
to believe in someone else.
438
00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:48,470
Together. Yeah?
439
00:23:49,221 --> 00:23:50,222
Mm-hmm.
440
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:57,145
[sighs] Client relations coordinator.
441
00:23:58,188 --> 00:24:00,524
- Huh?
- That's her title.
442
00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:05,863
[gasps] Oh, good. Yes.
Just in case you hadn't realized,
443
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:08,407
I totally made up
that one I told you before.
444
00:24:08,407 --> 00:24:09,700
[door closes]
445
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:13,245
[Keeley] Hello. Hi.
446
00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,166
- [Trent] Roy.
- No.
447
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:20,460
[sighs] I understand your hesitation
having me here.
448
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:24,339
You're protective of the team,
and I admire how much they respect you.
449
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:27,050
It's not easy getting such fulfillment
from a second career.
450
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,553
I'm not sure I even got it from my first.
[sighs]
451
00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:33,891
[stammers]
Maybe you could just give me a chance.
452
00:24:36,852 --> 00:24:38,645
Fuck off.
453
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:44,568
Wow, okay.
454
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:53,243
{\an8}[Arlo] A new season begins
and hope springs eternal,
455
00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:56,371
except perhaps for AFC Richmond.
456
00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:59,208
They return to the Premier League
after a one-year absence
457
00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:02,794
but are widely expected to have
a rather short stay.
458
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:06,798
Worse yet, their campaign begins here
at Stamford Bridge,
459
00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:10,135
the home of the formidable
Chelsea Football Club.
460
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,637
To be promoted to the Premier League
461
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:14,014
is like going from a council estate
to the penthouse, Arlo.
462
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:16,350
Richmond should enjoy it while it lasts.
463
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,894
Gentlemen,
welcome back to the Premier League.
464
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:21,563
Ah, back where we belong. Pip pip.
465
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:25,025
- [Paul, Baz laughing]
- Feels like we never left. [laughs]
466
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,610
Here you go, lads.
467
00:25:27,361 --> 00:25:29,488
Uh, Mae. I got the fish and chips.
468
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,697
I had the burger.
469
00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:35,619
It's good to be back. [sighs]
470
00:25:37,663 --> 00:25:38,872
[people chattering]
471
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:43,502
How's work? How's your friend doing?
472
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:45,254
- Shandy? Yeah, she's doing great.
- Mmm.
473
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:47,422
- Mmm. Good. [chuckles]
- Yeah.
474
00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:52,177
She's just full of ideas.
475
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:53,637
- Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.
- Uh-oh.
476
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,848
- Thank you. Sorry. Excuse me.
- Any news?
477
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:58,350
Zava and Chelsea are pretty much
a done deal.
478
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:01,645
I have the confirmation
of that from a very reliable source.
479
00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:02,771
Oh, what source?
480
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:04,898
A friend of my wife knows an agent
481
00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:08,443
whose masseuse moonlights
as an airline steward on private jets.
482
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,529
Now... [stammers] ...she wasn't working today,
483
00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,906
but her coworker who can read lips,
484
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:16,743
he saw Zava mouth the word "Chelsea"
a lot.
485
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,745
- God, I wish I could read lips.
- Yeah.
486
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,665
Okay. Has anyone seen Rupert?
Is there any sign of him?
487
00:26:21,665 --> 00:26:26,920
No, Rebecca. He's not here. And even
if he was, there's nothing he can do.
488
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,547
Oh, great. Jinxed it again.
489
00:26:28,547 --> 00:26:31,008
- [groans, sighs]
- [sighs]
490
00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:33,677
[fans chattering]
491
00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:36,388
Fuck you, you old geezer.
492
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,602
- Hello, Roy. Welcome back.
- How you doing, mate?
493
00:26:41,602 --> 00:26:44,521
Uh, heard the news. Mmm.
494
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:47,024
I broke up with her.
495
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:49,484
Why? I mean,
you guys were perfect together.
496
00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:51,570
Fuckin' Bruce.
497
00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:52,988
[fan 1] Oi, that's Roy Kent.
498
00:26:52,988 --> 00:26:55,073
- [fan 2] Roy!
- [fan 3] Roy Kent!
499
00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:57,117
[fan 4] We love you, Roy!
500
00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:59,661
[fans chanting] He's here, he's there,
he's every fucking where,
501
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:01,872
Roy Kent! Roy Kent!
502
00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:04,499
[chanting] He's here, he's there,
he's every fucking where,
503
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:10,047
Roy Kent, Roy Kent! He's here...
504
00:27:11,590 --> 00:27:13,133
{\an8}[Arlo] Now that's a lovely moment.
505
00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:15,886
{\an8}Chelsea fans letting
their former captain, Roy Kent,
506
00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:17,888
{\an8}know how they still feel about him.
507
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:21,517
[fans continue chanting]
Roy Kent, Roy Kent!
508
00:27:22,184 --> 00:27:24,853
He's here, he's there,
he's every fucking where,
509
00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:28,023
{\an8}Roy Kent, Roy Kent...
510
00:27:28,023 --> 00:27:30,275
{\an8}[fans cheering, whistling]
511
00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,623
- [mouthing words] Thank you.
- [fan 6] Oh, my gosh. Is that Zava?
512
00:27:44,623 --> 00:27:45,874
There he is.
513
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,292
[fan 7] Look, it's Zava.
514
00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:49,753
- Oh.
- [fans cheering] Zava! Zava! Zava!
515
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:51,839
[Arlo] And the great Zava
makes his appearance.
516
00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:55,551
Will he be signing for Chelsea today?
What are you hearing, Chris?
517
00:27:55,551 --> 00:27:57,261
[Chris] Oh, all sorts of things.
518
00:27:57,261 --> 00:28:00,931
The crowd, your voice, a slight ringing
because I bumped my head earlier.
519
00:28:02,558 --> 00:28:04,309
Holy--
520
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:05,978
[fans cheering]
521
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:08,564
- Jamie.
- What?
522
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:10,399
It's Zava.
523
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:13,151
- So what, man?
- My heart is racing.
524
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,028
I haven't been this nervous
to play in front of someone
525
00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:16,947
since I was in El Chapo's youth league.
526
00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:18,657
Move, man.
527
00:28:18,657 --> 00:28:20,868
[mouthing words]
Oh, my God. I cannot believe it.
528
00:28:22,870 --> 00:28:25,122
Wow, we're in the same city as Zava.
529
00:28:25,122 --> 00:28:26,748
Thank God we dressed up.
530
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,250
{\an8}[fans cheering]
531
00:28:30,169 --> 00:28:32,296
{\an8}[Arlo] The players are in position,
awaiting the referee's whistle.
532
00:28:32,296 --> 00:28:33,213
[whistle blows]
533
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:36,383
{\an8}[Arlo]
And we're off. Another season begins.
534
00:28:39,428 --> 00:28:42,347
[camera clicking]
535
00:28:42,347 --> 00:28:44,183
Leslie, will you pull yourself together?
536
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,941
[Arlo] Hughes tries for Todd,
but Chelsea intercepts.
537
00:28:52,941 --> 00:28:55,819
The Greyhounds
are in massive jeopardy now.
538
00:28:55,819 --> 00:29:00,616
Oh, some invention.
Look at that pace. High-pressure football.
539
00:29:00,616 --> 00:29:01,825
[fans cheering]
540
00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,410
- [Arlo] And Chelsea on the board...
- Fuck!
541
00:29:03,410 --> 00:29:04,912
- [Arlo] ...with beautiful counterattack...
- Shit.
542
00:29:04,912 --> 00:29:06,038
...against a reeling Richmond.
543
00:29:06,038 --> 00:29:07,956
[fans in pub] No! [groaning, murmuring]
544
00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:09,833
[Arlo] Absolutely devastating.
545
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:13,045
Take off those fucking hats.
They're bad luck.
546
00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:15,214
- Same old shit.
- [referee blows whistle]
547
00:29:15,214 --> 00:29:17,132
- [Arlo] The ref blows his whistle...
- It's all right.
548
00:29:17,132 --> 00:29:20,427
...for the conclusion of the first half,
and it's Chelsea 1, Richmond nil.
549
00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:23,764
[Chris] You have to give Richmond credit
for hanging on as long as they did, Arlo.
550
00:29:26,183 --> 00:29:28,393
- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Yeah.
551
00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:32,481
[gags]
552
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:34,149
What now?
553
00:29:35,067 --> 00:29:36,443
I might've jinxed it.
554
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:40,572
I knew it.
555
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:44,159
Would you please go and find out
as much as you can
556
00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:46,912
from your vast network
of lip-reading massage therapists?
557
00:29:46,912 --> 00:29:49,665
- [Higgins] Okay. Pardon me. Excuse me.
- [sighs]
558
00:29:49,665 --> 00:29:51,083
[Higgins] Excuse me. Pardon me.
559
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,088
- Rupert's gonna land Zava.
- You don't know that.
560
00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:00,342
Years ago, when I was bartending
in that private club,
561
00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:04,263
Rupert and his then wife came
into the bar. [sighs]
562
00:30:04,263 --> 00:30:06,473
He was the life and soul of the party.
563
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:11,937
Buying rounds of drinks for everyone,
telling stories. Just charm personified.
564
00:30:11,937 --> 00:30:14,898
And he left me a massive tip.
And then about a week later,
565
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:18,902
he came back without his wife
and asked me out.
566
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:22,489
- I, of course, said no. Then he left.
- What a dick.
567
00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:26,618
But then he came back the next night
and the next night and the next.
568
00:30:26,618 --> 00:30:28,203
And he would just sit at the bar
569
00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:31,832
with a drink
and chatted to me until close.
570
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,878
And he just said, "It doesn't matter
if you ever go out with me.
571
00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:38,338
It's just worth it being here
to get to know you."
572
00:30:38,338 --> 00:30:39,464
[chuckles]
573
00:30:39,464 --> 00:30:42,134
It's a fine line
between stalking and romance.
574
00:30:42,134 --> 00:30:47,556
Mmm. And after about six weeks of that,
he asked me out again.
575
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:52,519
And I said yes without any hesitation.
576
00:30:52,519 --> 00:30:54,438
Because by that point... [inhales sharply]
577
00:30:54,438 --> 00:30:57,816
...I just felt so lucky
because he wanted me.
578
00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:02,654
He made me feel special. Chosen.
579
00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:07,326
He made me feel like that.
580
00:31:13,207 --> 00:31:15,334
[smacks lips, sighs]
581
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:19,421
Hmm.
582
00:31:19,963 --> 00:31:21,256
[chattering]
583
00:31:22,674 --> 00:31:24,343
Hey, fellas. Listen up.
584
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:27,554
We get one goal,
we're right back in this thing, yeah?
585
00:31:27,554 --> 00:31:29,389
But right now,
we are being so unoffensive,
586
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:32,684
we might as well be a Hallmark Christmas
movie, you know what I'm saying?
587
00:31:32,684 --> 00:31:33,769
- What?
- What's that?
588
00:31:33,769 --> 00:31:35,687
I mean, Coach,
how many shots on goal we have that half?
589
00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:37,022
- One.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
590
00:31:37,022 --> 00:31:39,816
And that one was pretty much a mistake.
Am I correct, Dani?
591
00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:43,111
Yes, it bounced off my face.
But my face almost scored.
592
00:31:43,111 --> 00:31:44,363
[players chattering]
593
00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:46,490
[Dani] Yes, it was close.
594
00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:48,158
- Coach.
- Yeah, Jamie.
595
00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:49,326
- [Jamie] One idea.
- What you got?
596
00:31:49,326 --> 00:31:51,954
Right, so every time they're going past
the halfway line, they're just--
597
00:31:51,954 --> 00:31:53,038
[shushes]
598
00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:04,132
[stammers] Trent, hold on a second.
599
00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:07,261
Roy, can I speak with you?
600
00:32:13,934 --> 00:32:16,562
Oi, what the fuck's
a Hallmark Christmas movie?
601
00:32:16,562 --> 00:32:19,106
Hey, look, man, I don't know
what your beef is with Trent,
602
00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:22,943
but I'm gonna need you to order off
the vegan menu right now and squash it.
603
00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:25,571
'Cause your ego's about to sabotage
604
00:32:25,571 --> 00:32:27,573
a whole lot more
than a silly football match.
605
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,701
You feel me?
606
00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:34,121
Thank you.
607
00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,458
And Hallmark Christmas movies
are films that feature women
608
00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:41,044
from the big city falling in love
with their childhood crushes.
609
00:32:41,044 --> 00:32:43,672
It's usually some fella
that owns a Christmas tree farm.
610
00:32:43,672 --> 00:32:46,049
Sometimes he's also Santa Claus
or a prince.
611
00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:48,719
They suck, but they're great.
612
00:32:48,719 --> 00:32:50,345
But they also mostly suck.
613
00:32:50,929 --> 00:32:52,222
But they're also kinda great.
614
00:32:52,973 --> 00:32:54,391
They're good with the sound off.
615
00:32:55,976 --> 00:32:57,728
Now go fix this, please.
616
00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:06,820
[players muttering]
617
00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:07,946
Crimm!
618
00:33:18,790 --> 00:33:19,791
[clears throat]
619
00:33:24,296 --> 00:33:25,422
It's actually quite funny
620
00:33:25,422 --> 00:33:27,257
- when he yells at other people, innit?
- [chuckles]
621
00:33:43,774 --> 00:33:44,942
Hold this.
622
00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:58,830
"Newcomer Roy Kent is an overhyped,
so-called prodigy
623
00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:02,960
whose unbridled rage and mediocre talent
624
00:34:03,794 --> 00:34:09,424
rendered his Premier League debut
a profound disappointment."
625
00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:14,263
- Do you know who wrote that?
- [swallows]
626
00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:17,683
I was 17 years old.
627
00:34:19,184 --> 00:34:21,103
This fucking wrecked me.
628
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,065
I thought I was being edgy.
629
00:34:26,024 --> 00:34:29,695
I was just trying to make a name
for myself. [breathing deeply]
630
00:34:29,695 --> 00:34:34,992
All I really did was, uh,
look for the worst in people. I'm sorry.
631
00:34:38,203 --> 00:34:39,496
It's all right.
632
00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:42,416
Give me that.
633
00:34:46,170 --> 00:34:47,254
You know, it's funny.
634
00:34:48,255 --> 00:34:51,049
- We had a lot in common back then.
- We did?
635
00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:53,552
We both thought one another
sucked shit at their job.
636
00:34:55,012 --> 00:34:56,847
And now look at us. [chuckles]
637
00:34:58,682 --> 00:34:59,725
- Go.
- Yeah.
638
00:35:00,267 --> 00:35:02,853
- [players muttering]
- [Dani shushes]
639
00:35:05,856 --> 00:35:07,191
[Roy] Oi.
640
00:35:09,109 --> 00:35:12,279
- You can talk around this prick now.
- [players sigh] Oh.
641
00:35:12,279 --> 00:35:14,031
Oi. Hold on, yo, yo, Jamie.
What were you saying?
642
00:35:14,031 --> 00:35:17,117
Yeah, man. Listen. What I'm saying is,
every time we go past halfway,
643
00:35:17,117 --> 00:35:19,703
they're just blocking up
the passing lanes, you get that?
644
00:35:19,703 --> 00:35:21,580
Yes, yes. That's right.
They're not marking us.
645
00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:23,123
So just keep dribbling
until they stop you.
646
00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:26,585
Exactly! Let's take it all the way
and fucking win this.
647
00:35:26,585 --> 00:35:28,295
[players cheering] Yes! Yeah!
648
00:35:31,507 --> 00:35:33,509
[stammering] Thank you, thank you.
649
00:35:33,509 --> 00:35:34,760
- [Higgins panting]
- Well?
650
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,054
I just got off the phone
with my son's karate teacher,
651
00:35:37,054 --> 00:35:40,224
who used to date the woman
who ran Zava's avocado farm--
652
00:35:40,224 --> 00:35:44,019
- Oh, would you please get on with it?
- [sighs] He might be going to West Ham.
653
00:35:44,019 --> 00:35:45,521
- Shit.
- I knew it.
654
00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:46,980
- [groans]
- [sighs]
655
00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:48,899
Rupert always gets what he wants.
656
00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:51,568
[anthemic song playing]
657
00:35:54,613 --> 00:35:56,156
[inhales sharply] You know what?
658
00:35:57,282 --> 00:36:00,536
If Rupert can sweet-talk Zava
into joining his club, then so can I.
659
00:36:00,536 --> 00:36:02,496
- [Keeley gasps] Yes.
- [Rebecca] Excuse me.
660
00:36:02,496 --> 00:36:03,872
- Oh!
- [Rebecca] Thank you. Sorry.
661
00:36:03,872 --> 00:36:05,415
[Arlo] And we're back for the second half.
662
00:36:05,415 --> 00:36:08,836
Chris, do you think either of these teams
made any adjustments in the locker rooms?
663
00:36:08,836 --> 00:36:10,754
[Chris] Oh, I'm sure they did, Arlo.
664
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:13,924
But professional athletes don't mind
adjusting themselves in public either.
665
00:36:18,554 --> 00:36:21,139
Ah, hello there.
Rebecca Welton, AFC Richmond.
666
00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:23,225
I'd love to see Zava. Thank you.
667
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:25,185
No one gets in to see Zava.
668
00:36:25,769 --> 00:36:28,021
- I just saw Mr. Mannion--
- [Rupert] Rebecca, my dear.
669
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:33,110
- Rupert. What a lovely surprise.
- Yeah.
670
00:36:35,195 --> 00:36:37,239
- There you go, Mr. Mannion.
- Thank you, Matthew.
671
00:36:38,615 --> 00:36:41,869
Oh. Congratulations, by the way,
on the win against Leicester yesterday.
672
00:36:41,869 --> 00:36:46,373
Thank you. Yeah. We are so lucky
to have a manager like Nathan.
673
00:36:46,373 --> 00:36:51,128
He's a gaffer who really understands
the game. Such an advantage.
674
00:36:54,798 --> 00:36:56,091
- Ah, Zava.
- [Rebecca] Ah.
675
00:36:56,091 --> 00:37:00,012
Let me introduce Rebecca Welton.
My ex-wife.
676
00:37:00,679 --> 00:37:02,431
And the owner of AFC Richmond.
677
00:37:02,431 --> 00:37:03,640
[Rupert] Yeah, of course.
678
00:37:04,391 --> 00:37:06,226
It's an honor for you to meet me.
679
00:37:08,312 --> 00:37:09,146
See you soon.
680
00:37:09,146 --> 00:37:10,397
Can't wait.
681
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:24,578
He will look so great in claret and blue. Hmm.
682
00:37:27,539 --> 00:37:29,750
[inhales sharply] You know, Rupert,
I was a little bit surprised
683
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,793
when you bought West Ham.
684
00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:34,630
I always thought that Richmond
was your one true love.
685
00:37:34,630 --> 00:37:40,469
Oh. Guess I'm just like any man. Just
get bored with the same old, same old.
686
00:37:43,514 --> 00:37:45,015
Good luck with this season.
687
00:38:08,205 --> 00:38:10,207
[urinating]
688
00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:15,879
You are such a fucking chickenshit.
689
00:38:16,547 --> 00:38:20,926
I mean, if you were great, truly great,
you could play anywhere.
690
00:38:20,926 --> 00:38:25,180
But instead you choose a club
like West Ham, because it's big and shiny,
691
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:27,766
and you know that they'll win
whether you're there or not.
692
00:38:28,267 --> 00:38:30,227
And you'll never have to wonder
693
00:38:30,227 --> 00:38:33,021
if you're still as good as you tell
everyone you are.
694
00:38:33,021 --> 00:38:34,690
[urinating pauses, continues]
695
00:38:34,690 --> 00:38:39,945
But you and I know that you're not.
You're overrated. You're overpaid.
696
00:38:40,529 --> 00:38:45,409
[sniffs]
And you eat too much fucking asparagus.
697
00:38:45,409 --> 00:38:47,494
[urinating continues]
698
00:38:50,998 --> 00:38:51,874
[sniffs]
699
00:38:51,874 --> 00:38:54,501
[Arlo] Richmond's defending
has kept them in this match,
700
00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:56,837
and they are one moment
of inspiration away
701
00:38:56,837 --> 00:38:59,423
from going home with an unlikely point.
702
00:38:59,423 --> 00:39:02,384
Well, Chelsea giving Hughes space.
703
00:39:02,384 --> 00:39:05,053
[Chris] If they're going to
give him space, he's going to take it.
704
00:39:05,053 --> 00:39:08,015
[Arlo]
Possibilities here. Hughes has options.
705
00:39:08,557 --> 00:39:09,975
[Arlo] He slides it through to Tartt.
706
00:39:09,975 --> 00:39:12,644
- [shouts]
- [Arlo] Is this the moment?
707
00:39:13,645 --> 00:39:15,564
[Arlo] Obisanya's gonna have a go.
708
00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:19,902
Oh! It's in, off the face of Rojas!
709
00:39:19,902 --> 00:39:21,737
- Absolutely brilliant.
- Yes!
710
00:39:21,737 --> 00:39:24,156
[Arlo] In the blink of an eye.
Would you believe it?
711
00:39:24,156 --> 00:39:26,742
- [fans cheering, shouting]
- [Arlo] An historic goal, and it's 1-1.
712
00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,620
My face scored a goal!
My face scored a goal!
713
00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:30,746
[players laughing, cheering]
714
00:39:30,746 --> 00:39:34,166
Chris, have you ever scored
with your face?
715
00:39:34,166 --> 00:39:38,128
I've scored with every part of my body,
Arlo. That's a ridiculous question.
716
00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,298
- [laughs] That was amazing.
- Yeah, mate. [laughs]
717
00:39:41,298 --> 00:39:42,758
Do you think Zava saw?
718
00:39:44,384 --> 00:39:45,594
Don't be a dick, man.
719
00:39:46,178 --> 00:39:48,722
Come on. [pants, sniffs]
720
00:39:48,722 --> 00:39:50,349
[Rebecca] Excuse me. Sorry.
721
00:39:50,349 --> 00:39:51,433
Ooh.
722
00:39:54,269 --> 00:39:56,063
- Oi, how'd it go?
- [sighs]
723
00:39:56,063 --> 00:40:00,192
- Did you sweet-talk him?
- Uh, what's the opposite of that?
724
00:40:01,235 --> 00:40:02,361
Sour-yell.
725
00:40:03,195 --> 00:40:04,571
Yeah, I did that.
726
00:40:06,198 --> 00:40:08,075
- [referee blows whistle]
- [fans cheering]
727
00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:10,911
[Arlo] And Richmond
managed to secure a 1-1 draw
728
00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:13,413
against Chelsea
in this gripping West London derby.
729
00:40:13,413 --> 00:40:16,041
- There we go. There you go.
- [Arlo] They'll be leaving Stamford Bridge
730
00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:18,502
with a well-deserved point on the table.
731
00:40:18,502 --> 00:40:20,879
[fans cheering]
732
00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:26,134
- Hello, everyone. Thanks for joining us.
- [reporters clamoring]
733
00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:28,929
Obviously not the result
we were hoping for today.
734
00:40:28,929 --> 00:40:33,225
{\an8}But I am certain
that this afternoon's announcement
735
00:40:33,225 --> 00:40:36,520
{\an8}will raise every Chelsea fan's spirits.
736
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,690
- Now, I know...
- Still think we need to get to the office.
737
00:40:40,232 --> 00:40:41,567
It won't be safe here.
738
00:40:41,567 --> 00:40:44,111
[manager] Please welcome the newest member
739
00:40:44,111 --> 00:40:46,446
of Chelsea Football Club.
740
00:40:47,030 --> 00:40:48,198
{\an8}Zava.
741
00:40:48,198 --> 00:40:50,284
[reporters applauding]
742
00:40:52,661 --> 00:40:55,163
[manager] Welcome, Zava.
Please take a seat.
743
00:40:56,665 --> 00:41:01,253
All right. You just sign.
And there's the pen.
744
00:41:04,131 --> 00:41:05,299
Please.
745
00:41:09,386 --> 00:41:10,387
{\an8}[sighs]
746
00:41:11,930 --> 00:41:15,142
{\an8}I have changed my mind.
Zava will not play for Chelsea.
747
00:41:15,142 --> 00:41:16,143
{\an8}[reporters chattering]
748
00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:17,477
[chuckles]
749
00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:19,438
Oh, God. I'm sorry. I can't watch this.
750
00:41:20,814 --> 00:41:21,815
{\an8}[reporters shouting questions]
751
00:41:21,815 --> 00:41:23,358
{\an8}Zava will play for Richmond.
752
00:41:23,358 --> 00:41:25,027
{\an8}[reporters chattering]
753
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:31,116
You twat!
754
00:41:33,368 --> 00:41:35,412
- May I keep the pen?
- Sure.
755
00:41:37,497 --> 00:41:39,124
[Rebecca] What? Oh!
756
00:41:39,124 --> 00:41:42,336
- [Keeley shrieks, shouts]
- Oh! [chuckles]
757
00:41:43,795 --> 00:41:45,422
[mouthing words] What the fuck?
758
00:41:45,422 --> 00:41:46,757
- You did it.
- Yeah.
759
00:41:46,757 --> 00:41:48,467
- You did it!
- Oh, my God.
760
00:41:48,467 --> 00:41:51,470
- [players chattering]
- [Bumbercatch] Yo! We've got Zava.
761
00:41:51,470 --> 00:41:52,554
- [shrieks]
- [Sam] What?
762
00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:55,015
- We've got Zava! Look!
- [shrieks]
763
00:41:55,015 --> 00:41:58,810
[players cheering, laughing]
Oh! Oh, shit! Oh!
764
00:42:02,856 --> 00:42:04,942
Fans are not gonna like this.
765
00:42:04,942 --> 00:42:10,781
[fans chanting] Zava! We got you, Zava!
We got you, Zava! We got you, ra, ra, ra!
766
00:42:10,781 --> 00:42:12,866
[chattering, laughing]
767
00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:17,329
- All right, man. Take care, man.
- Take care.
768
00:42:17,329 --> 00:42:19,414
- Zava is coming here.
- Ah, Zava.
769
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,220
[paper ripping]
770
00:42:34,888 --> 00:42:37,599
What you up to tonight, Coach?
You wanna race-walk home together?
771
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:41,103
Uh, can't. Jane and I are gonna go see
her friend's immersive theater show
772
00:42:41,103 --> 00:42:42,271
about the menstrual cycle.
773
00:42:43,397 --> 00:42:46,650
Oh. All right, well,
I hope you're not late. [chuckles]
774
00:42:46,650 --> 00:42:48,360
Please tell Jane I said hello.
775
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:52,030
I would, but, uh, she still finds
our relationship threatening.
776
00:42:52,739 --> 00:42:53,824
Hmm.
777
00:42:54,324 --> 00:42:55,659
- Night, guys.
- Good night.
778
00:42:55,659 --> 00:42:57,369
Night, Coach. [chuckles]
779
00:42:57,369 --> 00:43:00,747
What do you say, Mr. Crimm?
Heck of a first week, yeah?
780
00:43:01,331 --> 00:43:03,792
- And we've only just begun.
- Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
781
00:43:04,376 --> 00:43:06,086
- Good night.
- Night, Roy.
782
00:43:06,879 --> 00:43:10,340
Hey, Roy. I'm just curious,
what was it like being back at Chelsea?
783
00:43:10,340 --> 00:43:12,718
All them fans sure were happy
to see you. [chuckles]
784
00:43:14,094 --> 00:43:20,017
I don't know. Just felt... sad.
Or something.
785
00:43:20,017 --> 00:43:21,852
Really? Why is that?
786
00:43:24,021 --> 00:43:25,647
[sighing]
787
00:43:34,990 --> 00:43:36,491
[Roy clears throat]
788
00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:42,539
Last season I was there,
we played a match against Arsenal,
789
00:43:43,540 --> 00:43:47,252
- and we fucking murdered 'em. Mmm.
- I remember, 3-nil.
790
00:43:47,252 --> 00:43:48,670
Yeah.
791
00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:51,840
But I played like shit.
792
00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:55,636
Right?
793
00:43:57,429 --> 00:43:58,430
[grunts]
794
00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:01,183
I did.
795
00:44:02,142 --> 00:44:05,312
That was the first time, ever, I thought,
796
00:44:06,688 --> 00:44:08,232
"I can't keep up anymore.
797
00:44:10,067 --> 00:44:11,485
I'm not good enough."
798
00:44:13,278 --> 00:44:17,449
And that was all I could think
about for the rest of the year.
799
00:44:18,992 --> 00:44:24,498
I knew it was only gonna get worse.
So at the end of the season, I left.
800
00:44:26,333 --> 00:44:32,256
Everyone was shocked.
The club was shocked. The fans. The press.
801
00:44:32,256 --> 00:44:33,632
[mouthing words] Yeah.
802
00:44:34,424 --> 00:44:36,385
I didn't wanna be
one of them broken-down footballers
803
00:44:36,385 --> 00:44:38,720
just taking up space
until they're dropped,
804
00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:40,848
years after they should have been.
805
00:44:40,848 --> 00:44:44,810
Yeah, well, a lot of folks think it's
better to quit than to be fired, you know?
806
00:44:45,978 --> 00:44:46,979
Yeah.
807
00:44:49,648 --> 00:44:51,108
But going back there today...
808
00:44:54,194 --> 00:44:55,779
there's a part of me...
809
00:44:58,615 --> 00:45:00,200
thinking maybe I should have stayed...
810
00:45:02,452 --> 00:45:05,414
and just fucking...
811
00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:09,543
enjoyed myself.
812
00:45:10,294 --> 00:45:12,296
["Night's Falling" playing]
813
00:45:16,592 --> 00:45:18,343
But that is not who I am,
814
00:45:19,553 --> 00:45:20,554
I guess.
815
00:45:22,514 --> 00:45:23,515
Not yet.
816
00:45:26,393 --> 00:45:27,644
Hmm.
817
00:45:27,644 --> 00:45:30,981
But, hey, if you wouldn't have
left Chelsea when you did,
818
00:45:32,274 --> 00:45:33,859
we probably never would have met.
819
00:45:38,739 --> 00:45:39,740
[chuckles]
820
00:45:44,453 --> 00:45:46,079
- Good night.
- Good night.
821
00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:48,624
Good night, Roy.
822
00:45:51,376 --> 00:45:52,503
[chuckles]
823
00:45:53,003 --> 00:45:54,004
Sport.
824
00:45:55,088 --> 00:45:56,507
It's quite the metaphor. [chuckles]
825
00:45:56,507 --> 00:46:00,344
Yeah.
It also makes for a heck of a nickname.
826
00:46:01,220 --> 00:46:02,221
Yeah.
827
00:46:02,221 --> 00:46:04,348
- Night, Ted.
- Good night, sport.
828
00:46:07,476 --> 00:46:09,561
[zipper closes]
829
00:46:11,730 --> 00:46:13,023
Hmm.