1
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,555
(綺莉瓊斯公關公司)

2
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,188
{\an8}(凡賽斯)

3
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,862
所以要記得,客戶負責拍攝的費用

4
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,781
但超時是我們負責的

5
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,659
所以無論如何,別超時

6
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,245
但也要儘量把廣告給拍好,對吧?

7
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,665
是啊,好啦,隨便

8
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,375
我有個想法

9
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,961
也許我們可以大家一起在會議室野餐?

10
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,838
我沒辦法

11
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,048
-我沒跟妳說時間
-我知道

12
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:52,719
拜託啦,芭芭拉,會很好玩的

13
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,390
我們可以多相互瞭解些
也許能讓這裡的氣氛輕鬆點

14
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,059
我跟這群人共事過

15
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,021
然而,是的,這就是最輕鬆的狀態了

16
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,866
-我們等著瞧吧,小芭
-不,別這樣叫我

17
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,909
好,我一說出來就感到不妥了

18
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,913
好,我要出門去了

19
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,583
祝大家今天愉快,好嗎?

20
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,672
喂,別做我不會做的事喔

21
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,855
她不會做的是什麼事?

22
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,919
《泰德拉索:錯棚教練趣事多》

23
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,755
早安,越...

24
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,089
泰德

25
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,550
-嘿,瞧瞧是誰來了?嗨,綺莉
-你好啊,泰德

26
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,053
特倫特克林耶,不會吧?

27
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,554
嘿,很高興見到你,兄弟

28
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,848
{\an8}在失物招領處有一個夾鏈密封袋

29
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,725
{\an8}裝滿了你的髮圈,你應該去一趟

30
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:22,643
{\an8}如果還想要的話

31
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:27,231
{\an8}謝謝,克林先生要求
今年對球隊進行貼身採訪

32
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:31,026
-他想要寫關於我們的書
-是嗎?

33
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,861
泰德,我覺得這裡有值得訴說的故事

34
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,073
對,我們都喜歡這個想法

35
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,824
不過當然了,你身為經理

36
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,952
我們覺得應該讓你來做最終的決定

37
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,287
{\an8}好

38
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,291
{\an8}天啊,這個嘛...

39
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,551
不要

40
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,474
好啊,管他的,有何不可?
你何時能開始?

41
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,477
{\an8}就現在開始吧,除了11點11分
那是我許願的時間

42
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:09,189
{\an8}或是23點11分
如果我在軍事基地或歐洲迪士尼的話

43
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,942
{\an8}好啊,好吧,決定了

44
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,944
太棒了,特倫特,歡迎

45
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,906
-真他媽的
-哎呀

46
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,700
札瓦要離開尤文圖斯了

47
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,746
{\an8}那他們的孩子怎麼辦?
抱歉,我不知道那些是什麼意思

48
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,540
{\an8}我還以為是希臘神話之類的

49
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,208
{\an8}我搞不懂,就隨口說了,抱歉

50
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,253
{\an8}札瓦是世界一流的前鋒
他要離開他在義大利的球隊了

51
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,547
{\an8}掰囉,義大利麵

52
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,175
{\an8}看樣子,他想要來踢英超

53
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:39,761
{\an8}因為他老婆狂追了《我們的辦公室》
她想要來英國生活

54
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,847
兄弟,我想你是說賓州的史克蘭頓吧

55
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,640
不,泰德,是英國版的《我們的辦公室》

56
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,893
對耶,原版是你們這裡拍的

57
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,811
如果我們簽到札瓦,那就太棒了

58
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,898
{\an8}他對球隊的品牌來說會很有幫助
他有九千萬粉絲

59
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,483
{\an8}有一次他只發布了“七百萬個讚”這句話

60
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,776
{\an8}就得到了一千萬個讚

61
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,405
{\an8}對,但他很貴,而且他是不是有點臭屁?

62
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,074
{\an8}對,超臭屁,臭屁得要命

63
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,869
{\an8}他效力過的團隊
就像妳用過的美甲師一樣多

64
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,413
{\an8}那種味道讓我頭昏,而且我都會說太多

65
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,874
{\an8}請別寫進去

66
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,919
{\an8}札瓦在15年來,加入過14支球隊

67
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,213
{\an8}留下的只有混亂和獎盃

68
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,507
{\an8}漂亮又閃亮的獎盃啊

69
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:19,384
{\an8}是啊,雷斯利,可是誰會想去
處理那些麻煩事?

70
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,554
{\an8}顯然能請得起他的都想

71
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:26,099
{\an8}切爾西、阿森納、曼聯、西漢姆

72
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,392
那我們就出手吧

73
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:31,021
也許他挺難搞一把的,但誰不愛一把呢?

74
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,024
{\an8}如果是說鹹花生的話,那就好啊

75
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,734
{\an8}如果是說彩虹糖的話,就不用了

76
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,861
因為色素會融化,搞得指頭上都是

77
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,029
弄得整個黏答答的

78
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,697
這個,你可以寫進去

79
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,078
-太好了,那就來安排會面吧
-很好

80
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,163
-我們來簽下札瓦吧
-好耶

81
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,748
-來吧
-札瓦答吧嘟

82
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,083
好耶

83
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,876
-來吧,加油
-好耶

84
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,253
真刺激

85
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,463
所以我可以假設妳要去爭取一個

86
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,175
{\an8}妳其實請不起的惡名昭彰且善變的球員

87
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,511
{\an8}只因為妳前夫的球隊想簽下他?

88
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,974
不是...

89
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,601
對

90
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,230
太好了

91
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:18,986
(我們是瑞奇蒙)

92
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,238
嘿,快啊,跟我說吧

93
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,324
有自己的公司,當老闆的感覺如何?

94
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,118
-我覺得進展很順利
-是嗎?

95
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:27,452
{\an8}-對
-很好...

96
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,789
{\an8}不過,我是希望同事們可以放輕鬆點

97
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,625
-想聽我的建議嗎?
-想

98
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,669
你們該出去一起做點什麼事

99
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,296
工作之外的事

100
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,922
-真是個好主意
-是啊...

101
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,842
{\an8}也許我能請個薩滿巫師

102
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,720
{\an8}我們可以在血月時刻熬一大鍋死藤水

103
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,806
{\an8}我想的其實比較像是密室逃脫之類的

104
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558
不過,嘿,都差不多啦,對吧?

105
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,768
-是啊,謝了,泰德
-很高興見到妳,不客氣

106
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,103
-綺莉
-幹嘛?

107
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,897
以薩克,嗨,你好嗎?

108
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,940
很好,妳可以幫我找鞋子贊助嗎?

109
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,985
我很樂意,有指定的牌子嗎?

110
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,031
{\an8}沒有品牌,只要是鞋子就好,妳知道的

111
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,367
{\an8}很好,我會幫你找的

112
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,580
{\an8}-嗨,各位
-綺莉

113
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,040
{\an8}嗨,綺莉

114
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,708
{\an8}-嗨,傑米
-妳好嗎?妳很好吧?

115
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,293
對啊,我很好,你呢?

116
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:20,297
很好...還不錯,是啊...健身房

117
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,299
-剛剛去了健身房,所以,是啊,很好
-很好

118
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,095
很高興妳很好,回頭見吧

119
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,514
-好
-好,再見

120
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,768
-兄弟
-兄弟,怎麼了?

121
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,775
綺莉和羅伊分手了

122
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,361
什麼?誰跟你說的?

123
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,781
不是“誰”說的,兄弟
是“事實”,這叫動作學

124
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,367
觀察肢體語言,你看他們

125
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,537
沒有眼神交會,綺莉雙臂交叉

126
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:57,209
羅伊收緊屁股,這是科學

127
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,281
-你要幹嘛?
-你跟綺莉分手了?

128
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,033
-誰跟你說的?
-沒人跟我說

129
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,869
我透過身體科學知道的

130
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,872
怎麼?是真的嗎?

131
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,131
那是什麼鬼表情?

132
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,592
這叫做感同身受,你這個固執的老古板

133
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:51,388
嘿,身為被綺莉甩過的人,我懂

134
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:56,059
-她沒有甩我
-是你甩她?為何?

135
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,979
我不想聊這個,你進來幹嘛?

136
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,689
我來猜猜

137
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,941
你想知道能不能約她,對吧?

138
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:07,946
不,我只是來看看你是不是還好,兄弟

139
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,327
白痴

140
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,786
-你他媽要幹嘛?
-我要抱你啊

141
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,915
-你太快靠近我了
-天啊,真抱歉

142
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,918
我都忘了老頭子因為戰爭會有多易怒

143
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,587
拜託啦,兄弟,我只是想安慰你

144
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:25,214
我不想要安慰

145
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,257
而且我跟你說了,我不想聊這件事

146
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,926
所以你他媽一個字都別說,懂嗎?

147
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,469
好,我不說

148
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,722
威廉,你也他媽一個字都別說

149
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,099
好...我不會說

150
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,393
我自己也才剛分手

151
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,270
所以我算是能理解

152
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,023
嘿,也許我們該偶爾一起出去

153
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,359
我們三個人,一起去喝個幾杯

154
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,028
大喝一場,單身狗俱樂部

155
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,407
或是我他媽就一個字也不說好了

156
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,451
好,我懂,完全懂

157
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,078
妳就是會夢遊

158
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,163
我不知道還能跟妳說什麼,就這樣

159
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:00,958
(倒轉金字塔)

160
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,251
嘿,教練

161
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,420
你在幹嘛?

162
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,007
只是在讀一讀你總是在讀的

163
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:09,967
英式足球策略書

164
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:13,971
(我們是瑞奇蒙)

165
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,389
你覺得如何?

166
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,892
我從目錄就已經讀得很辛苦

167
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,519
我想我最好是等等

168
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,312
到這玩意拍成電影之後再看

169
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,692
嘿,我來問你幾個問題

170
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,235
第一,你覺得我們簽札瓦好嗎?

171
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,737
這是好的反應,對吧?

172
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,406
-札瓦?對
-好

173
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:35,075
第二個問題,札瓦是誰?

174
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,245
他是個當代傳奇人物,你知道札瓦是誰啊

175
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,163
恕我否認,我不認識啊

176
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,670
(求勝)

177
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,755
(素食義警)

178
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,093
你幹嘛要我看《素食義警》?

179
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:54,803
嘿

180
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,430
不可以

181
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,433
因為那個人就是札瓦

182
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,227
那個人就是札瓦?

183
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,355
媽的,我不知道這傢伙會踢足球

184
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,483
嘿,我沒有思考就說出足球了耶

185
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,652
天啊,那本書真有用

186
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,616
11點11分,許願吧

187
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,372
-你許了什麼願?拜託啦,教練
-我不能跟你說

188
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,166
我只是不想要願望被互相抵銷了

189
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,418
-不會這樣的啦
-給我他媽的閉嘴

190
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,295
-收回去
-哎呀,這是怎麼了?

191
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,338
收回去

192
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,089
我不能收回已經發生的事情

193
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,550
嘿...各位,怎麼了?

194
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,636
教練,我們剛剛聽到讓人超生氣的謠言

195
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,430
好,是我們要簽札瓦的事嗎?

196
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,140
-什麼?
-我們要簽札瓦?

197
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,141
(相信)

198
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,477
我30秒前才許這個願耶

199
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,150
等一下,不,等等

200
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,443
等一下,好嗎?

201
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,862
如果你們說的不是札瓦
那你們是在生氣什麼?

202
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,906
是因為特倫特克林要寫關於我們的書嗎?

203
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,908
什麼?

204
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,410
等等,特倫特克林要寫關於
札瓦加入我們球隊的書?

205
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,205
不是...他只是要來寫一本
關於我們球隊的書

206
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,706
札瓦要寫關於我們的書?

207
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,166
不是,是特倫特克林

208
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127
札瓦為何要寫關於特倫特克林的書?

209
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,592
嘿...停,好嗎?等一下

210
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,262
如果你們不知道札瓦的事
這件事可還說不一定

211
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,057
而且你們也不知道特倫特克林的事
這件事是確定的

212
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,393
那你們到底是在生氣什麼?

213
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,689
羅伊和綺莉分手了

214
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,609
教練

215
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,028
抱歉,沒事,我沒事

216
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,114
只是有點頭昏,好,謝謝

217
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,365
搞什麼鬼?

218
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:42,870
塔特

219
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,580
嘿...我什麼都沒有說

220
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,331
我要他媽的殺死你

221
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,709
不是,我進來的時候
他們在說我們要簽札瓦

222
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:52,421
什麼?我們要簽札瓦?

223
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,798
羅伊,你想要聊聊嗎?

224
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,134
不要,我不要聊我跟綺莉的事

225
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,470
不是啦,我是說札瓦,你想聊聊嗎?

226
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,015
好啊,他很瘋,但他能幫我們獲勝

227
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,142
這次我說的是聊你跟綺莉的事

228
00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:07,561
-真他媽的
-嘿,威爾,過來一下

229
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,062
-好,我來了
-嘿

230
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,440
我要你去我家,去我的書桌

231
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,318
拿一張叫做
《泰德的分手組曲》的CD過來,好嗎?

232
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,861
-懂了,CD是什麼東西?
-好

233
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,571
-天啊
-我去拿

234
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,114
嘿,教練,你需要我的鑰匙

235
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,908
-我有一副
-也對

236
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,285
-謝了,不用了
-好

237
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,704
嘿,羅伊,聽我說
我們都陪著你,好嗎?

238
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,040
我們都被甩過,各位,對吧?

239
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,044
她沒有甩了我,是我提分手的

240
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:34,838
什麼?

241
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:37,674
今天真是太糟糕了

242
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,510
這裡是更衣室,各位好啊

243
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:42,387
-我相信你們都認識特倫特克林
-各位好

244
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,097
這王八蛋在這裡幹嘛?

245
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,266
特倫特要寫一本關於我們球季的書

246
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,853
所以我們張開雙臂,敞開心胸歡迎他吧

247
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:52,481
沒問題,好的

248
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:57,069
喂,聽好

249
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,865
誰在這王八蛋身邊都他媽的別說一句話

250
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,827
除非想要我對你們使出他媽的頭槌

251
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,290
別擔心

252
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,420
好,這個嘛...

253
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,133
我們之後再來制定細節吧

254
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,470
不過在那之前,歡迎特倫特

255
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,104
我是說滾開啦,特倫特克林

256
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,583
(泰德:我聽說了,跟我說時間)

257
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,543
(還有地點,因為我他媽的知道為什麼)

258
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:57,588
卡,謝謝各位,繼續下個鏡頭

259
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:03,093
好,現在羊喝下一瓶卡夫卡迷你瓶
然後轟地一聲

260
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,637
變成一頭超帥的獅子

261
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:09,099
很好,但我們不能真的
讓羊喝卡夫卡迷你瓶,對吧?

262
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,226
-對,當然不會
-好,很好

263
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:15,063
是實驗室的人跟我們說的,羊不能喝

264
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,691
對,沒錯,牠會馬上死掉

265
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,151
因為酵素的關係

266
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,069
我完全明白

267
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,073
-我覺得她不明白
-對,我也覺得她不明白

268
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,825
他媽的綺莉瓊斯

269
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,078
他媽的香蒂費恩?

270
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,834
我的天啊,我不知道妳會來拍

271
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,003
我不知道妳會有一條
能遮住整個屁股的裙子

272
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,088
喂,妳借走很多那種裙子
而且都沒有還給我耶

273
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,089
我永遠不會還妳

274
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,091
這就是和妳還有女孩們生活的一個好處

275
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,053
-女孩們,她們好嗎?克蘿依好嗎?
-跟足球員結婚了

276
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,013
-艾瑪呢?
-跟足球員結婚了

277
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,223
那妳呢?

278
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,266
跟足球員結婚了,跟足球員離婚了

279
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,684
現在我又回來拍廣告了

280
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,271
但說夠我的事了
我在《浮華世界》看到妳

281
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:59,399
衣冠楚楚地,我都哭了

282
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,568
我超以妳為榮的,寶貝,大家都是

283
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,779
以我為榮?為何?

284
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,533
因為妳靠自己成功了

285
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,122
這是什麼氣味啊?

286
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,416
抱歉,是羊便便

287
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,418
大自然中最難聞的氣味之一

288
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:22,297
這位克拉麗絲已經超過30天大
你們應該要謝天謝地

289
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:26,760
一週前,牠的便便看起來
還像是鮮黃色的牙膏

290
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,056
不要...別想用掃的

291
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,851
不對,妳得把它像壽司一樣撿起來
不然會抹得到處都是

292
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:36,395
我曾經跟足球員結婚

293
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,231
沒錯,謝了,寶貝

294
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,233
-嘿,綺莉
-怎麼了?

295
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,902
吉米跟我覺得這夜店太空了

296
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,529
對,應該感覺很擁擠才對

297
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,282
可以也許再多找100個臨演來嗎?

298
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,117
現在去找100個?

299
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:51,702
對

300
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,663
可以在後期製作時加上頻閃特效

301
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,790
並讓演員們在攝影機前交叉走位

302
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,000
這樣就會感覺很擁擠

303
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,835
你們也不用再多花錢

304
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,296
-我喜歡
-就這麼做吧

305
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,672
非常感謝妳

306
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,843
瞧瞧妳,根本就是導演了

307
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,928
也許有一天我能跟妳一樣出人頭地

308
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:12,723
對啊

309
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,392
(西漢姆積極爭取札瓦)

310
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:17,769
哈囉,母親

311
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:21,148
我的天啊,親愛的
我真高興能聽到妳的聲音

312
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,318
我昨晚夢到妳被謀殺了

313
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,236
沒有,我還活著

314
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,072
等等,妳怎麼會在飯店的房間?

315
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,366
我還以為妳要去什麼三天的

316
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,910
心靈營假期

317
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,871
我是啊,但我才不要睡在外面

318
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,581
太多星星了

319
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:41,210
我一直覺得星星都在盯著我看

320
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:44,213
不過聽我說,我有好消息要跟妳說

321
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,173
我前幾天跟媞希聊過了

322
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,926
她同意考慮跟妳見面

323
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:51,345
哇,妳的靈媒真的同意了

324
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:55,224
讓我付一大筆錢去跟她聊天嗎?
真是太棒了

325
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,976
不是,她是在考慮

326
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,896
但我覺得妳和媞希見面會很好,因為

327
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:05,150
妳迫切地需要一些來自母親的指引

328
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,276
等一下

329
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:09,279
有人在外頭聚集,在進行尖叫療法

330
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,365
這是我最愛的部分

331
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:13,909
所以我最好掛了
因為我不能使用我的聲音

332
00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:16,203
-再見了,小肉腸
-是妳打給我的

333
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,330
我有與札瓦見面一事的最新消息

334
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,374
太好了

335
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:23,252
-札瓦不想見我們
-什麼?為何?

336
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,795
他的人員說

337
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:28,715
“我們會浪費時間,而他會很丟臉”

338
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,010
他沒必要回應得這麼殘酷吧

339
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,471
但好消息是札瓦要和切爾西簽約

340
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,890
這怎麼會是好消息?

341
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,559
因為他不會跟西漢姆簽約

342
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,270
他出來直接說了
“我不會跟西漢姆簽約”

343
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,981
媽的,這樣只會讓魯柏更想要把他簽下來

344
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:45,607
魯柏也無能為力

345
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:46,733
太好了,你觸霉頭了

346
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,610
-但是我...
-不,太遲了,觸霉頭了

347
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,862
-但我的確認為...
-木已成舟

348
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,072
幹得好

349
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,662
午安

350
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,295
嗨

351
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:08,797
傑米

352
00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:11,008
不要...

353
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:26,190
今天狀態看來不錯喔

354
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:34,740
好吧

355
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,393
感謝你分我辦公室用

356
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:05,771
即使這是泰德的主意

357
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:15,155
(很遺憾)

358
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,291
(給羅伊)

359
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:36,343
{\an8}(海裡的魚多得是,懂嗎?親親,萊莎)

360
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:44,017
那麼,瑞奇蒙對上切爾西?

361
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:47,563
這是你退休後第一次回去那裡吧?

362
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,318
對

363
00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:59,366
抱歉

364
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,662
好,是我的出版社,我會長話短說的

365
00:20:04,538 --> 00:20:09,084
嘿,好...不...我在這裡了

366
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,752
其實很順利

367
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,796
我正在安頓下來

368
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,049
是的,大家都很...

369
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:19,052
很歡迎我

370
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:23,557
對,沒事,我也有聽到那個聲音

371
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,976
我不確定是我這邊還是你那邊?

372
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,062
這樣吧,等我一下,一下就好

373
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,024
我我去外頭說

374
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,949
-對吧?
-對

375
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:46,079
是的,妳的公司信用卡寄來了

376
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,372
太好了,謝謝

377
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,708
-別用
-好

378
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:53,128
芭芭拉,我要介紹香蒂給妳認識

379
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:54,922
-嗨
-哈囉,嗨

380
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,548
她是綺莉瓊斯公關公司的最新成員

381
00:21:00,177 --> 00:21:02,846
她被聘為什麼職位?

382
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,767
她將會擔任顧問

383
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:13,023
負責子公司的管理

384
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:15,400
以及...

385
00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:19,530
-客戶關係
-對

386
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,240
好

387
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,867
香蒂,請坐,好嗎?是香蒂吧?

388
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,869
-對,抱歉
-所以,我想...

389
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:28,372
好,放在那裡,把糖果放在那裡

390
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:34,169
我想知道妳在這些領域中有何經驗?

391
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,839
在關係方面,有很多

392
00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:38,257
其他就不太多了

393
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:45,472
妳上的是哪間大學呢?

394
00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:49,643
-我沒念大學
-沒念?

395
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,144
-對
-好

396
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,606
在這份工作前,妳都在做什麼呢?

397
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:56,650
我是模特兒

398
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,487
好,好的,香蒂,謝謝

399
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,738
好,我想我懂了

400
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:05,409
所以妳僱用了一位沒有經驗

401
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:09,538
也沒受過高等教育的前模特兒
來做一份不存在的工作,太好了

402
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:16,086
好啊,歡迎加入團隊,香蒂

403
00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,601
很抱歉,我來處理

404
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:41,904
芭芭拉,我得跟妳聊一下

405
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:48,827
妳對待香蒂的態度非常沒禮貌,很傷人

406
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:55,125
-怎麼了?
-雪球的數量還真多

407
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,460
是啊,我會收集

408
00:22:57,503 --> 00:23:01,340
是這樣的,公司會把我派往不同的公司

409
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,468
是啊,我每去一家就買一個雪球

410
00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:06,929
其實很蠢

411
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:09,765
不會,我覺得很可愛

412
00:23:16,188 --> 00:23:19,191
妳在這裡不能那樣對人說話

413
00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:23,237
我知道香蒂是我朋友,而且妳說得對

414
00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:28,867
她沒有經驗,但她很聰明
很熱情,我相信她

415
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,579
就像公司一定很相信妳

416
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:36,416
才會把妳派去全世界
那些很棒的地方,對吧?

417
00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:39,044
{\an8}(荷蘭,阿姆斯特丹)

418
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,884
也許妳和我都能體會到
相信別人的感覺有多好

419
00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:48,470
一起,好嗎?

420
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,145
客戶關係協調專員

421
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:00,524
她的頭銜

422
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:05,863
很好,是的,以防妳還沒發現

423
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:08,407
之前我跟妳說的那個是我瞎編的

424
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:13,245
哈囉,嗨

425
00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,500
-羅伊
-別想

426
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,460
我能理解你對於我待在這裡有疑慮

427
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:24,339
你對球隊很保護
我也很欽佩他們對你的尊敬

428
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:27,050
要在事業第二春
獲得如此的成就感很不容易

429
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:28,677
我連第一份工作有沒有都不確定

430
00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:33,891
也許你可以給我一個機會

431
00:24:36,852 --> 00:24:38,645
給我滾

432
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:44,568
哇,好吧

433
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:52,492
{\an8}新球季開始了,希望無窮

434
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:53,744
{\an8}(切爾西隊)

435
00:24:53,744 --> 00:24:55,287
也許除了瑞奇蒙隊以外吧

436
00:24:55,287 --> 00:24:56,371
(趣達)

437
00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:58,749
他們在缺席了一年之後,再度回歸英超

438
00:24:58,749 --> 00:25:00,167
(倫敦的驕傲)

439
00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:02,794
但人們普遍預期他們的停留時間會很短

440
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:06,798
更糟的是他們奮戰的起頭
是在史丹佛橋這裡

441
00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:10,135
令人望而生畏的切爾西隊的主場

442
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,637
被晉級到英超

443
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:14,014
就像從公共房屋搬到豪宅閣樓,亞羅

444
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:16,350
瑞奇蒙應該好好把握當下,好好享受

445
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:19,561
各位,歡迎回到英超

446
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:21,563
回到我們的歸屬之地,再會了

447
00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:25,025
感覺就像從沒離開過

448
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,610
餐點來了,兩位

449
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:29,488
阿美,我點的是炸魚薯條

450
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,697
我點的是漢堡

451
00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:35,619
能回歸真開心

452
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:43,502
工作如何?妳朋友還好嗎?

453
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:45,254
香蒂?很好,她很好

454
00:25:45,921 --> 00:25:47,422
-很好
-是啊

455
00:25:47,422 --> 00:25:49,299
(香蒂:明天帶含羞草雞尾酒來上班吧)

456
00:25:49,299 --> 00:25:50,259
(用那張公司信用卡)

457
00:25:50,259 --> 00:25:52,177
她真是創意滿滿

458
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:53,637
-借過...
-哎呀

459
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,848
-謝謝,抱歉,不好意思
-有消息嗎?

460
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:58,350
札瓦和切爾西差不多要談成了

461
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:01,645
我從一個非常可靠的來源得到了證實

462
00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:02,771
什麼來源?

463
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:04,898
我老婆的一個朋友認識一個經紀人

464
00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:08,443
他的女按摩師
兼職擔任私人飛機上的空服員

465
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,529
好,她今天沒上班

466
00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,906
但她的同事會讀唇語

467
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:16,743
他看到札瓦做了很多次“切爾西”的嘴型

468
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,745
-天啊,真希望我會讀唇語
-對啊

469
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,665
好,有人看到魯柏嗎?有沒有他的蹤影?

470
00:26:21,665 --> 00:26:26,920
沒有,芮貝卡,他不在這裡
就算他在,他也無能為力

471
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,547
太好了,又觸霉頭了

472
00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:36,388
去你的,你這個怪老頭

473
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,602
-哈囉,羅伊,歡迎回來
-兄弟,你好嗎?

474
00:26:41,602 --> 00:26:43,312
我聽說了

475
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:47,024
是我提分手的

476
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:49,484
為何?你們很適合彼此耶

477
00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:51,570
他媽的布魯斯

478
00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:52,988
欸,那是羅伊坎特

479
00:26:52,988 --> 00:26:55,073
-羅伊
-羅伊坎特

480
00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:57,117
羅伊,我們愛你

481
00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:59,661
他來了...他就是他媽的無處不在

482
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:01,872
羅伊坎特...

483
00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:04,499
他來了...他就是他媽的無處不在

484
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:10,005
羅伊坎特...他來了

485
00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,715
(羅伊絕無僅有)

486
00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:13,133
{\an8}真是個美好的時刻

487
00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:15,886
{\an8}切爾西球迷讓前隊長羅伊坎特知道

488
00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:17,888
{\an8}他們對他還懷有什麼樣的感情

489
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:21,517
羅伊坎特...

490
00:27:22,184 --> 00:27:24,853
他來了...他就是他媽的無處不在

491
00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:28,023
{\an8}羅伊坎特...

492
00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,623
-謝謝
-我的天啊,那是札瓦嗎?

493
00:27:44,623 --> 00:27:45,874
他在那裡

494
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,292
看啊,是札瓦

495
00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:49,753
札瓦...

496
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:51,839
偉大的札瓦出現了

497
00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:55,801
他今天會和切爾西簽約嗎?
克里斯,你有聽到什麼聲音?

498
00:27:55,801 --> 00:27:58,220
各種聲音都有,群眾跟你的聲音

499
00:27:58,220 --> 00:27:59,137
(切爾西隊)

500
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,931
還有一點耳鳴,因為我稍早撞到頭了

501
00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:02,474
(倫敦的驕傲,自1905年)

502
00:28:02,474 --> 00:28:04,309
真他...

503
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:08,564
-傑米
-幹嘛?

504
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:10,399
那是札瓦

505
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:13,151
-兄弟,那又怎樣?
-我的心臟狂跳

506
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,028
我很久沒在誰面前踢球會緊張了

507
00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:16,947
上次是我加入矮子毒梟的少年聯賽

508
00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:18,657
閃開啦,兄弟

509
00:28:18,657 --> 00:28:20,868
我的天啊,真是不敢相信

510
00:28:21,451 --> 00:28:22,786
{\an8}(切爾西隊,瑞奇蒙隊)

511
00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:25,122
哇,我們跟札瓦在同一個城市耶

512
00:28:25,122 --> 00:28:26,748
謝天謝地我們隆重打扮了

513
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:30,085
{\an8}(拒絕仇恨)

514
00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:33,213
{\an8}球員們都就位了,正在等待裁判吹哨

515
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:36,383
{\an8}開始了,又一個球季開始了

516
00:28:42,431 --> 00:28:44,183
雷斯利,收斂點好嗎?

517
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,941
休斯想傳給陶德,但被切爾西攔截了

518
00:28:52,941 --> 00:28:55,611
灰狗們現在的處境很危險

519
00:28:56,236 --> 00:29:00,616
新招出現了,瞧瞧這節奏
是高強度的足球賽啊

520
00:29:01,909 --> 00:29:03,410
-切爾西得分...
-幹

521
00:29:03,410 --> 00:29:04,912
-漂亮的反擊
-媽的

522
00:29:04,912 --> 00:29:06,038
面對苦撐的瑞奇蒙

523
00:29:06,038 --> 00:29:07,956
不要啊

524
00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:09,833
真是太慘了

525
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:13,045
脫掉那些他媽的帽子,那會招來厄運

526
00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:14,338
又是老套

527
00:29:15,297 --> 00:29:17,132
-裁判吹哨...
-沒關係

528
00:29:17,132 --> 00:29:19,551
結束了上半場,切爾西一分,瑞奇蒙零分

529
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:20,511
(中場休息,席佛斯,46號)

530
00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:23,764
亞羅,瑞奇蒙撐這麼久
也得稱讚他們才行

531
00:29:26,475 --> 00:29:28,393
-真美
-對啊

532
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:34,149
又怎麼了?

533
00:29:35,067 --> 00:29:36,443
我可能會觸霉頭

534
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:40,572
我就知道

535
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:44,159
你能不能去儘可能地查清楚情況?

536
00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:46,912
利用你那廣大的讀唇語按摩治療師們

537
00:29:46,912 --> 00:29:49,665
好,不好意思,借過

538
00:29:49,665 --> 00:29:51,083
借過,不好意思

539
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,088
-魯柏會簽到札瓦
-這妳可不知道

540
00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:00,342
幾年前,我在那個私人俱樂部當酒保時

541
00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:03,512
魯柏和他當時的老婆來到酒吧

542
00:30:04,346 --> 00:30:06,473
他就是那場派對的靈魂人物

543
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:11,937
請每個人喝了好幾輪的酒,說故事
渾身充滿了魅力

544
00:30:11,937 --> 00:30:14,898
他給了我一大筆小費,然後差不多一週後

545
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:18,902
他回來了,沒帶老婆,而且約我出去

546
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:22,489
-我當然拒絕了,他就離開了
-真是個王八蛋

547
00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:26,618
但他接下來每天晚上都回來

548
00:30:26,618 --> 00:30:28,203
他會坐在酒吧那裡

549
00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:31,832
拿著一杯酒,跟我聊天直到打烊

550
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,878
他說:“妳要不要跟我約會不重要

551
00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:38,338
能在這裡瞭解妳就很值得了”

552
00:30:39,548 --> 00:30:42,634
跟蹤狂和追女生之間的差別很微妙

553
00:30:42,634 --> 00:30:47,556
他那樣做了約六週之後,他再次約了我

554
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:52,519
我沒有遲疑就答應他了

555
00:30:52,519 --> 00:30:53,770
因為在那時候...

556
00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:57,816
他想要我,讓我覺得自己很幸運

557
00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:02,654
他讓我覺得自己很特別,是被挑中的人

558
00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:07,326
他讓我那麼覺得

559
00:31:22,674 --> 00:31:24,343
嘿,各位,聽好

560
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:27,554
只要進一球,我們就重回戰局了,好嗎?

561
00:31:27,554 --> 00:31:29,389
但現在我們太沒有攻擊性了

562
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:32,684
差不多就像霍爾馬克頻道的耶誕節電影
你們知道我的意思吧?

563
00:31:32,684 --> 00:31:33,769
-什麼?
-那是啥?

564
00:31:33,769 --> 00:31:35,687
教練,我們上半場射門多少次?

565
00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:37,022
-一次
-對,我就覺得是這樣

566
00:31:37,022 --> 00:31:39,816
而且那次差不多算是個失誤
丹尼,我說得對吧?

567
00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:43,237
對,我用臉把球彈出去
但我的臉差點就得分了

568
00:31:44,446 --> 00:31:45,864
對,就差一點

569
00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,158
-教練
-是的,傑米

570
00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:49,326
-有想法
-說吧

571
00:31:49,326 --> 00:31:51,954
好,他們每次越過中線,就會...

572
00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:04,132
特倫特,等一等

573
00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:07,261
羅伊,可以說句話嗎?

574
00:32:13,934 --> 00:32:16,562
欸,霍爾馬克頻道的耶誕節電影
是他媽的什麼鬼?

575
00:32:16,562 --> 00:32:19,106
嘿,聽我說,兄弟
我不知道你跟特倫特有什麼過節

576
00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:22,943
但我需要你放下那些問題,好好配合

577
00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:25,571
因為你的自尊心會破壞的

578
00:32:25,571 --> 00:32:27,573
不僅僅是一場愚蠢的足球賽

579
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,701
明白嗎?

580
00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:34,121
謝謝

581
00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,458
霍爾馬克頻道的耶誕節電影
都是演一些大城市的女人

582
00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:41,044
愛上兒時暗戀的人

583
00:32:41,044 --> 00:32:43,672
通常都是某個經營耶誕樹農場的傢伙

584
00:32:43,672 --> 00:32:46,049
偶爾也可能是耶誕老公公或王子

585
00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:48,719
很爛,但很好看

586
00:32:48,719 --> 00:32:50,345
但大多數都很爛

587
00:32:50,929 --> 00:32:52,222
不過也算是很好看

588
00:32:52,973 --> 00:32:54,391
關靜音就很好看

589
00:32:55,976 --> 00:32:57,728
現在請去處理一下吧

590
00:33:06,904 --> 00:33:07,946
克林

591
00:33:24,296 --> 00:33:25,422
他吼別人的時候

592
00:33:25,422 --> 00:33:27,257
感覺挺有趣的,對吧?

593
00:33:43,774 --> 00:33:44,942
拿著這個

594
00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:58,830
“新人羅伊坎特是個被誇大的所謂神童

595
00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:02,960
他那不受控的脾氣和平庸的才能

596
00:34:03,794 --> 00:34:09,424
讓他的英超首戰令人深感失望”

597
00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:12,844
你知道這是誰寫的嗎?

598
00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:17,683
我當時17歲

599
00:34:19,184 --> 00:34:21,103
這他媽對我打擊超大

600
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,065
我覺得我寫得很前衛犀利

601
00:34:26,024 --> 00:34:28,235
我當時只是想出名

602
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:34,992
我那時只會去找人們最糟糕的點,對不起

603
00:34:38,203 --> 00:34:39,496
沒關係

604
00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:42,416
把那個給我

605
00:34:46,170 --> 00:34:47,254
你知道嗎?很有趣啊

606
00:34:48,255 --> 00:34:51,049
-我們那時候有很多共同點
-是嗎?

607
00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:53,552
我們都覺得對方的工作表現很爛

608
00:34:55,012 --> 00:34:56,221
看看現在的我們呀

609
00:34:58,682 --> 00:34:59,725
-去吧
-好

610
00:35:05,856 --> 00:35:07,191
喂

611
00:35:09,109 --> 00:35:10,736
有這王八蛋在的時候,你們可以說話了

612
00:35:12,362 --> 00:35:14,031
喂,等等,呦...傑米,你剛剛要說什麼?

613
00:35:14,031 --> 00:35:17,117
好,兄弟,聽我說,我要說的是
我們每次越過中線

614
00:35:17,117 --> 00:35:19,703
他們就只封住傳球路線,你們有發現嗎?

615
00:35:19,703 --> 00:35:21,580
有...沒錯,他們沒有用盯人戰術

616
00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:23,123
就繼續盤球,直到他們來擋

617
00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:26,585
沒錯,帶球直奔球門,然後他媽的獲勝

618
00:35:26,585 --> 00:35:28,295
好耶...

619
00:35:31,507 --> 00:35:33,509
謝謝...

620
00:35:33,509 --> 00:35:34,760
如何?

621
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,054
我剛剛跟我兒子的空手道教練講完電話

622
00:35:37,054 --> 00:35:40,224
他跟經營札瓦酪梨農場的女人交往過...

623
00:35:40,224 --> 00:35:44,019
-可以直接說重點嗎?
-他可能會加入西漢姆

624
00:35:44,019 --> 00:35:45,521
-媽的
-我就知道

625
00:35:47,064 --> 00:35:48,899
魯柏總是要什麼有什麼

626
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:56,281
你們知道怎麼著?

627
00:35:57,282 --> 00:36:00,536
如果魯柏能用花言巧語
說服札瓦加入他的球隊,那我也可以

628
00:36:01,245 --> 00:36:02,579
-沒錯
-借過

629
00:36:02,579 --> 00:36:03,872
謝謝,抱歉

630
00:36:03,872 --> 00:36:05,415
下半場要開始了

631
00:36:05,415 --> 00:36:08,836
克里斯,你覺得這兩支球隊
在更衣室時有做戰術調整嗎?

632
00:36:08,836 --> 00:36:10,754
亞羅,我確定是有的

633
00:36:10,754 --> 00:36:13,924
但職業運動員也不會介意
在公共場合調整自己

634
00:36:15,008 --> 00:36:18,887
(橋廊貴賓室)

635
00:36:18,887 --> 00:36:21,139
你好,我是瑞奇蒙的芮貝卡威爾頓

636
00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:23,225
我想見札瓦,謝謝

637
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:25,185
沒人能進去見札瓦

638
00:36:25,769 --> 00:36:28,021
-我剛剛看見曼尼先生...
-芮貝卡,親愛的

639
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:33,110
-魯柏,真是驚喜啊
-是啊

640
00:36:35,195 --> 00:36:37,239
-給你,曼尼先生
-馬修,謝謝你

641
00:36:39,032 --> 00:36:41,869
對了,恭喜你們昨天贏了萊斯特

642
00:36:41,869 --> 00:36:46,373
謝謝,是啊,我們很幸運
能請來內森這樣的經理

643
00:36:46,373 --> 00:36:51,128
他是一個真正瞭解足球賽的教練
真是天大的優勢

644
00:36:55,382 --> 00:37:00,012
札瓦,容我向你介紹
芮貝卡威爾頓,我前妻

645
00:37:00,679 --> 00:37:02,431
也是瑞奇蒙的老闆

646
00:37:02,431 --> 00:37:03,640
對,沒錯

647
00:37:04,391 --> 00:37:06,226
妳能見到我真是榮幸

648
00:37:08,312 --> 00:37:09,146
下次見

649
00:37:09,146 --> 00:37:10,397
真是等不及

650
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:23,577
他穿紫紅色和藍色會很好看

651
00:37:27,998 --> 00:37:29,750
魯柏,你知道嗎?你買下西漢姆的時候

652
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,793
我是有點驚訝

653
00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:34,630
我一直以為瑞奇蒙才是你的真愛

654
00:37:35,631 --> 00:37:40,469
我猜我就像其他男人吧
對於無聊的老套都會厭煩

655
00:37:43,514 --> 00:37:45,015
本球季加油

656
00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:15,879
你真是個他媽的懦夫

657
00:38:16,547 --> 00:38:20,926
如果你很強,真的很強的話
那你去哪踢球都行

658
00:38:20,926 --> 00:38:25,180
但你選了西漢姆那種球隊
因為它又大又強

659
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:27,766
你知道不管有沒有你,他們都會贏

660
00:38:28,267 --> 00:38:30,227
你永遠都不用去想

661
00:38:30,227 --> 00:38:33,021
你到底還是不是
像你自己口中所說的那麼強

662
00:38:34,690 --> 00:38:39,945
但你跟我都知道你沒有
你被高估了,收太多錢

663
00:38:42,614 --> 00:38:45,409
而且你吃太多該死的蘆筍了

664
00:38:51,957 --> 00:38:54,501
瑞奇蒙的防守讓他們能持續戰下去

665
00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:56,837
他們只差那麼一點

666
00:38:56,837 --> 00:38:59,423
就要帶著難以想像的分數回家了

667
00:38:59,423 --> 00:39:02,384
切爾西給了休斯空間

668
00:39:02,384 --> 00:39:05,053
如果他們騰出空間給他,那他就要接受

669
00:39:05,053 --> 00:39:08,015
機會來了,休斯能選擇傳給誰

670
00:39:08,557 --> 00:39:10,517
他把球傳給塔特

671
00:39:11,101 --> 00:39:12,644
得分時刻來了嗎?

672
00:39:13,645 --> 00:39:15,564
歐布桑野嘗試射門

673
00:39:17,316 --> 00:39:19,902
進球了,羅哈斯用臉把球彈進去了

674
00:39:19,902 --> 00:39:21,737
-真是太棒了
-好耶

675
00:39:21,737 --> 00:39:24,156
就在一眨眼之間就進了,大家能相信嗎?

676
00:39:24,156 --> 00:39:26,742
歷史性進球,一比一

677
00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:30,162
我的臉進球了...

678
00:39:30,829 --> 00:39:34,166
克里斯,你有用臉得分過嗎?

679
00:39:34,166 --> 00:39:38,128
我用全身上下都得分過
亞羅,真是個可笑的問題

680
00:39:39,505 --> 00:39:41,298
-真是太神奇了
-漂亮啊,兄弟

681
00:39:41,298 --> 00:39:42,758
你覺得札瓦有看到嗎?

682
00:39:44,384 --> 00:39:45,594
兄弟,別白痴了

683
00:39:46,178 --> 00:39:47,179
拜託啦

684
00:39:48,805 --> 00:39:50,349
不好意思,抱歉

685
00:39:54,269 --> 00:39:56,063
欸,情況如何?

686
00:39:56,063 --> 00:40:00,192
-妳有對他花言巧語嗎?
-與之相反的是什麼?

687
00:40:01,235 --> 00:40:02,361
酸言酸語

688
00:40:03,195 --> 00:40:04,571
對,我就是這麼做了

689
00:40:08,158 --> 00:40:10,911
瑞奇蒙成功保住了一比一平手的局面

690
00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:13,413
在這場引人入勝的倫敦西區比賽中
對戰切爾西

691
00:40:13,413 --> 00:40:16,041
-太好了...
-他們離開史丹佛橋的時候

692
00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:18,502
將會帶著應得的一分

693
00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:26,134
大家好,歡迎出席

694
00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:28,929
顯然今天的結果並非我們所希望的

695
00:40:28,929 --> 00:40:29,888
{\an8}(切爾西足球俱樂部)

696
00:40:29,888 --> 00:40:33,225
{\an8}但我確定今天下午宣布的消息

697
00:40:33,225 --> 00:40:36,520
{\an8}將會讓所有切爾西球迷的精神為之一振

698
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,690
-好,我知道...
-我還是覺得應該直接回辦公室

699
00:40:40,232 --> 00:40:41,567
在這裡不安全

700
00:40:41,567 --> 00:40:43,360
請歡迎最新成員

701
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,153
(直播,獨家消息,札瓦加入切爾西隊)

702
00:40:45,153 --> 00:40:46,446
加入切爾西隊

703
00:40:47,030 --> 00:40:48,198
{\an8}札瓦

704
00:40:52,661 --> 00:40:55,163
札瓦,歡迎你,請坐

705
00:40:56,665 --> 00:41:01,253
好,請簽名,這裡有筆

706
00:41:04,131 --> 00:41:05,299
請

707
00:41:11,930 --> 00:41:15,309
{\an8}我改變心意了,札瓦不會代表切爾西出賽

708
00:41:17,561 --> 00:41:19,438
天啊,真抱歉,我看不下去

709
00:41:21,815 --> 00:41:23,442
{\an8}札瓦會代表瑞奇蒙出賽

710
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:31,116
你這個白痴

711
00:41:33,368 --> 00:41:35,412
-我可以留著筆嗎?
-可以

712
00:41:37,497 --> 00:41:38,498
什麼?

713
00:41:43,795 --> 00:41:45,422
搞什麼鬼啊?

714
00:41:45,422 --> 00:41:46,757
-妳成功了
-對

715
00:41:46,757 --> 00:41:48,467
-妳成功了
-我的天啊

716
00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:51,595
呦,我們簽到札瓦了

717
00:41:51,595 --> 00:41:52,554
什麼?

718
00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:55,015
我們簽到札瓦了,你們看

719
00:41:55,849 --> 00:41:56,850
媽的

720
00:42:02,856 --> 00:42:04,942
球迷們不會喜歡的

721
00:42:04,942 --> 00:42:10,781
札瓦,我們簽到你了
札瓦,簽到你了,札瓦,簽到你了,啦...

722
00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:17,329
-好,兄弟,保重啊,兄弟
-保重

723
00:42:17,329 --> 00:42:19,414
-札瓦要來這裡了
-札瓦

724
00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:21,250
(我們的紀錄?)

725
00:42:34,888 --> 00:42:37,599
教練,你今晚要做什麼?
你想要一起競走回家嗎?

726
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:41,103
沒辦法,珍跟我要去
看她朋友的沉浸式戲劇表演

727
00:42:41,103 --> 00:42:42,271
主題是月經週期

728
00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:46,650
好吧,那麼,希望你沒有遲到

729
00:42:46,650 --> 00:42:48,360
請幫我向珍問好

730
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:52,030
我很樂意,不過
她還是覺得我們的關係很危險

731
00:42:54,324 --> 00:42:55,659
-各位晚安
-晚安

732
00:42:55,659 --> 00:42:56,785
教練,晚安

733
00:42:57,452 --> 00:43:00,747
克林先生,那麼你呢?
真辛苦的第一週,對吧?

734
00:43:01,331 --> 00:43:02,374
而且才剛開始呢

735
00:43:04,376 --> 00:43:06,086
-晚安
-羅伊,晚安

736
00:43:06,879 --> 00:43:10,340
嘿,羅伊,我只是好奇
回到切爾西的感覺如何?

737
00:43:10,340 --> 00:43:12,134
所有的球迷都很高興見到你

738
00:43:14,094 --> 00:43:20,017
我不知道,只是覺得...難過什麼的

739
00:43:20,017 --> 00:43:21,852
真的嗎?為何?

740
00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:42,539
我在那裡的最後一個球季
我們在一場比賽中對戰阿森納

741
00:43:43,540 --> 00:43:47,252
-我們血洗了他們
-我記得是三比零

742
00:43:47,252 --> 00:43:48,670
對

743
00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:51,840
但我踢得很爛

744
00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:55,636
對吧?

745
00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:01,183
是的

746
00:44:02,142 --> 00:44:05,312
那是有史以來第一次,我心想

747
00:44:06,688 --> 00:44:08,232
“我跟不上了

748
00:44:10,067 --> 00:44:11,485
我不夠優秀”

749
00:44:13,278 --> 00:44:17,449
那一年接下來的時間
我就只能想著這件事

750
00:44:18,992 --> 00:44:24,498
我知道情況只會越來越糟
所以那個球季結束時,我離開了

751
00:44:26,333 --> 00:44:32,256
大家都很震驚
球隊、球迷、媒體都很震驚

752
00:44:32,256 --> 00:44:33,632
對

753
00:44:34,424 --> 00:44:36,385
我不想當那種已經不行了的足球員

754
00:44:36,385 --> 00:44:38,720
只是佔著茅坑,等到被解僱

755
00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:40,848
比原本該走的時間遲了好多年

756
00:44:40,848 --> 00:44:44,810
對,是啊,很多人都覺得
辭職總比被開除來得好

757
00:44:45,978 --> 00:44:46,979
對

758
00:44:49,648 --> 00:44:51,108
但今天回去那裡

759
00:44:54,194 --> 00:44:55,779
我心裡有一部分

760
00:44:58,615 --> 00:45:00,200
覺得也許我該留下

761
00:45:02,452 --> 00:45:05,414
就他媽的...

762
00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:09,543
好好享受

763
00:45:16,592 --> 00:45:18,343
但我不是那種人

764
00:45:19,553 --> 00:45:20,554
應該吧

765
00:45:22,514 --> 00:45:23,515
還沒

766
00:45:27,728 --> 00:45:30,981
不過,嘿,如果你當時沒離開切爾西

767
00:45:32,274 --> 00:45:33,859
我們就可能不會認識了

768
00:45:44,453 --> 00:45:46,079
-晚安
-晚安

769
00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:48,624
羅伊,晚安

770
00:45:53,003 --> 00:45:54,004
好人

771
00:45:55,088 --> 00:45:56,507
真是個好比喻

772
00:45:56,507 --> 00:46:00,344
對啊,也可以當個很棒的外號

773
00:46:01,220 --> 00:46:02,221
是啊

774
00:46:02,221 --> 00:46:04,348
-泰德,晚安
-好人,晚安

775
00:47:02,698 --> 00:47:04,700
字幕翻譯:徐懿芬