1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,003
[doorbell rings]
2
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,758
[ringing continues]
3
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,472
[knocking]
4
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,351
[ringing continues]
5
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,686
[knocking continues]
6
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,029
- Fucking hell. [grunts]
- [watch beeps]
7
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,156
All right, let's go.
8
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,573
It's 4:00 a.m.
9
00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,701
Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m.
10
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,911
I thought you were joking.
11
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,162
How is that a joke?
12
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,580
'Cause it's 4:00 a.m.
13
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,251
We start at 4:00, so you can do
three workouts a day instead of two.
14
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:46,296
[sighs] Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m.
15
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590
Do you wanna be better than Zava or not?
16
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,719
[sighs] Well, how are we gonna see?
It's dark out.
17
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,431
Fucking hell.
18
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,560
Now get dressed.
Or I start flicking your balls.
19
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,854
This is perverse.
20
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,080
[sighs]
21
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,721
[chuckles] Whoops.
22
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,529
[sighs] There you go.
23
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,330
[grunts]
24
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,669
Good morning, Sassy Smurf.
25
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,924
- Good morning, Marlboro Man.
- [chuckles]
26
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,218
You know, you snored all night.
27
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,595
Hmm. I'm sorry about that. [sighs]
28
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,764
That's all right.
It's actually very soothing.
29
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,057
Sounded like the sea.
30
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,768
Well, I'm glad
you didn't hear any boat horns,
31
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,604
given all the fried yams I ate last night.
32
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,147
[both chuckle]
33
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,107
Oh.
34
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,446
Hey, I was thinking.
We have a good time together, yeah?
35
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,157
They're called simultaneous orgasms,
Ted, yes.
36
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,743
Yeah, well, but I mean
37
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:43,247
also all the talking and laughing
and all that stuff. Yeah?
38
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,500
Sure.
Well, apart from all your dreadful puns.
39
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,752
Right. Well, it's tough.
40
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,797
Sometimes I just see 'em there,
and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know?
41
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,968
No, I-- Well, what I'm getting at is, um...
42
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,514
Well, I was just thinking
maybe... [inhales deeply]
43
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,514
Well, I was just thinking
maybe... [inhales deeply]
44
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,308
...we could go on an actual date sometime.
45
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,562
You know? You and me, together. [chuckles]
46
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,814
God, no.
47
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,442
Well, I appreciate you taking the time
to consider it.
48
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,736
Ted, we can't date.
49
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,737
Why not?
50
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,074
- You're a mess.
- I'm a mess?
51
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,701
Course you are.
52
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,162
I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess
three years further on than you,
53
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,582
so I'm more of a slight disarray.
54
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,792
More like a slight disarray of sunshine,
if you ask me.
55
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,210
Oh, God.
56
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,839
- Sorry.
- Ted, on the day my ex got remarried,
57
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,675
I drank a bottle of red wine
through a straw
58
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,887
and told my Uber driver
I was in love with him.
59
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,682
Then, when he dropped me home,
I puked so much,
60
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,768
my mouth was like an elevator
from the goddamn Shining.
61
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,646
Knocked my rating down to a 3.9.
62
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,356
3.9? Ooh.
63
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,151
Fuck you. Why? What's yours?
64
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,197
Oh, God, you're a five, aren't you?
65
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,742
Course you're a five.
How the fuck are you a five?
66
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,742
Course you're a five.
How the fuck are you a five?
67
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,703
I don't know. I'm tidy.
I say "Please" and "Thank you."
68
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788
Sometimes I offer to drive
if they look tired.
69
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,417
Oh, you are such a mess.
70
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,252
[sighs]
71
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,380
Ted, I like our status.
72
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:22,012
Friends with benefits,
like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.
73
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:25,224
Oh, no, no, no.
I think you're thinking of 2011's other
74
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,392
good-friends-turned-casual-lovers
based rom-com.
75
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,771
No Strings Attached.
76
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,650
Friends with Benefits
was Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
77
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:38,237
Oh, wow. 2011, friends be fuckin'.
78
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:39,363
Mm-hmm, yeah.
79
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:42,449
So, let's keep things 2011.
Cool and breezy.
80
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,410
- Like an Arab Spring.
- [chuckles] Mmm.
81
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,124
[kisses] And good luck
against West Ham this weekend.
82
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,751
- Mmm.
- Fuck Rupert
83
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:56,046
and that shriveled raisin-pouch
he calls a nutsack.
84
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,389
[door opens, closes]
85
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,146
Hello! Here for Flo?
86
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,940
- You can jump in, love.
- Lovely, thank you.
87
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,819
Ooh, this is nice.
Gray seats? Yes, please.
88
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,863
[radio presenter]
...West Ham. This is the real opportunity
89
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,573
for the Wonder Kid
to become the Wonder Man...
90
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,074
[Roy] 101.
91
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,410
100.
92
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,996
- [grunts]
- [Roy] Ninety-nine.
93
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,665
[grunts, groans]
94
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,458
[gags, coughs]
95
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,127
Why do you only sleep with a top on?
96
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,006
Because I get cold upstairs
and hot downstairs.
97
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,133
Hmm. I get that.
98
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,386
[retches, grunts]
99
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,721
Mornin'.
100
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:48,056
{\an8}[theme music playing]
101
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,120
[Rebecca] Oh, listen to what Rupert said
in this one.
102
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,041
"I truly look forward
to seeing my old club again.
103
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,335
Richmond are top-class."
104
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:18,879
Ugh, what a soggy, wet piece of shit.
105
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,214
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
106
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,298
[door opens]
107
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,801
Right, I'm off to the training ground.
Thanks again for the opportunity.
108
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,846
Babe, you earned it.
109
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,058
{\an8}Shandy came up with
this super fun Bantr promo.
110
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,185
{\an8}It uses all the single players
on the team.
111
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,436
{\an8}[Shandy] Yeah.
112
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:38,524
{\an8}The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing with
could be a professional footballer.
113
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,818
{\an8}- Mmm?
- Oh, that's great.
114
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,613
{\an8}And that's all the single players,
you say?
115
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:48,700
{\an8}So, it's, like,
Colin and Dani and Sam, et cetera?
116
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,953
{\an8}Yeah, although I don't think
Sam's doing it anymore.
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00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,373
- [mouthing] No.
- Mmm. So fun.
118
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:58,168
- [clears throat] Um, Ms. Jones.
- Hello, Barbara.
119
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,128
- All right there, Barbs?
- It's "Barbara."
120
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,128
- All right there, Barbs?
- It's "Barbara."
121
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:04,925
{\an8}Um, if possible, could I get two tickets
for the Richmond-West Ham match?
122
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,052
{\an8}Jack might be coming to London
this weekend.
123
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,303
Of course.
124
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,764
Who's Jack?
125
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,599
[chuckles]
126
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,476
- Jack Danvers.
- Mmm?
127
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:18,105
{\an8}The head of the VC
that funded your company.
128
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,691
{\an8}Our boss.
129
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:27,030
{\an8}Yes. That Jack. Of course.
130
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,908
{\an8}- Uh...
- That's not a problem, Barbara.
131
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,703
{\an8}I can let you have some seats in my suite.
132
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,497
{\an8}Oh. [chuckles] Lovely.
133
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,750
{\an8}Thank you so much, Rebecca.
That's so kind of you and so efficient.
134
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,254
{\an8}[clicks tongue] Keeley.
135
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,926
{\an8}Thanks, Barbara. [sighs]
136
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,931
{\an8}So, the one thing we cannot do
against West Ham is the False Nine.
137
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,892
{\an8}- 'Cause that's Nate's shit.
- [Coach Beard] Exactly.
138
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,269
{\an8}So, we decided to go with
our classic 4-4-2.
139
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,521
{\an8}Which is exactly what
that prick expects us to do.
140
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,399
{\an8}So, we do the opposite.
Five up front. Full-on attack.
141
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,399
{\an8}So, we do the opposite.
Five up front. Full-on attack.
142
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,944
{\an8}But Nate knows we're gonna do that,
143
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,990
{\an8}because Nate knows that we're trying to
outthink him by thinking like him.
144
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,786
{\an8}Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking
and fuck fucking Socrates.
145
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,122
{\an8}So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate
and start thinking
146
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,917
{\an8}like Nate would think we would think
if Nate were thinking like us,
147
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,085
{\an8}and then do the last thing
that Nate thinking like us
148
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:25,172
{\an8}thinking like Nate thinking like us
would ever expect us to do.
149
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:30,677
{\an8}Have Zava drop back
and play Nate's False Nine.
150
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,970
{\an8}Voi-fucking-là.
151
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,222
{\an8}Brilliant.
152
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,475
{\an8}- Ah, it's mostly Beard's idea.
- Nah, it was a group effort.
153
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,601
{\an8}I do have one question.
154
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,977
{\an8}- Of course.
- Who fucking cares?
155
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,813
{\an8}Do you think Zava'll do it?
156
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,863
Fuck!
157
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,158
- Good mornin'.
- Hey.
158
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,035
- [Roy sighs, groans]
- Oh. Oh.
159
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,871
- Uh-oh, what's wrong?
- Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate.
160
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,667
- Higgins doesn't think so either!
- [gasps] Beard said it to me first.
161
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:01,667
- Higgins doesn't think so either!
- [gasps] Beard said it to me first.
162
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,795
- You throw me under the bus? How dare--
- You walked in here this morning--
163
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:08,257
{\an8}- Oh, you're gonna sell me out?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
164
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:11,093
{\an8}Y'all pointin' more fingers
than Ganesha givin' directions.
165
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:14,596
{\an8}Now look, you fellas need to calm down
and just kiss.
166
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,225
{\an8}He's right.
167
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,687
{\an8}Keep it simple, smartypants.
168
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,314
{\an8}- [groans]
- An answer will show up. Don't worry.
169
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:29,403
{\an8}But until it does,
here's a question for y'all: Am I a mess?
170
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,449
{\an8}[stammers] Sassy ended up
spending the night last night and, uh--
171
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,827
{\an8}- [Coach Beard, Higgins] Ooh.
- No, no, no, hush your butts.
172
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,287
{\an8}That ain't the headline.
173
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,455
{\an8}Well, I asked her out
on a proper date this morning.
174
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,668
{\an8}She turned me down cold. She said I was--
and I quote-- "a mess." [sighs]
175
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,005
{\an8}- Ooh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
176
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:51,383
{\an8}Sounds like a case for the Diamond Dogs!
177
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,843
Release the hounds. [howling]
178
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,053
Yeah, here we go! Let's do it.
179
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:58,265
[howling, barking]
180
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,893
Fuck's sakes.
181
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,893
Fuck's sakes.
182
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,105
[howling, barking continues]
183
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:06,732
Yes.
184
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,651
-"Yes" what?
- Yes, you're a mess.
185
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,486
Okay. Expound.
186
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,696
{\an8}We're playing Nate this week,
187
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,323
{\an8}and you're acting like
it's not a big deal.
188
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,867
{\an8}Nothing's different. He didn't hurt you.
189
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,827
{\an8}Hey, look,
we ain't talking about Nate right now.
190
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,914
{\an8}I'm asking you if you think I'm a mess.
All right?
191
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,081
{\an8}Higgy pie, what do you think?
192
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,919
{\an8}I think I don't understand
how you're not pissed off with Nate.
193
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:28,212
[groans]
194
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,714
We have a saying
in Co-Dependents Anonymous.
195
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,715
Y-- What?
196
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,383
Uh, Jane makes me go with her.
197
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,760
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
198
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,887
{\an8}[sighs] Pain is like carbon monoxide.
199
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:40,891
{\an8}[sighs] Expressing it to the person
who hurt you is like opening a vent,
200
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,185
{\an8}but holding it in will poison you.
201
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:46,772
{\an8}[whistles] I like that.
But Nate didn't hurt me.
202
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:47,940
Bullshit!
203
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,069
Oh, Roy, did you wanna get in
on this Diamond Dog situation?
204
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,738
- Hey, Roy! [kissing] Hey, Roy.
- [Coach Beard] Hey, Roy. Here, Roy.
205
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,907
- [barking]
- Here, Roy. Come here, Roy.
206
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,951
La, la, la, la, la!
207
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:02,996
{\an8}So, the match of the week
is clearly Richmond and West Ham.
208
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,996
{\an8}So, the match of the week
is clearly Richmond and West Ham.
209
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,791
Now, it's been a strong start
to the season for both of these teams,
210
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,002
but I think the Hammers are favorites,
going into the London derby,
211
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,506
based on the tactical acumen
of the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley.
212
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,550
- [boos]
- [all groan]
213
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:17,261
Yeah, Shelley is brilliant,
there's no doubt about that,
214
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,889
but Zava, he is a genius.
I like the Greyhounds for this one.
215
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,266
- [players cheer]
- That's my guy!
216
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,226
No, you can't have him. He's mine.
217
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,562
[players chuckle]
218
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,064
- Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's--
- [Thierry] Hey, look. Guys, guys.
219
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,232
Who cares, right?
220
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,441
[players chattering]
221
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,318
Now come on, we've got work to do.
Let's go.
222
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,320
- [players chattering]
- [Zava] He is correct.
223
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:42,619
We must ignore these talking faces.
Even when they are in our favor.
224
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,663
Thank you, "Zorro."
225
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:48,250
Oh, exactly, but it's, uh--
It's actually pronounced, uh, "Zoreaux."
226
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:52,796
Why?
227
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,467
I don't know. Because that's how
my parents say it, I guess?
228
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:04,057
My friend, you can be
whoever you want to be.
229
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:04,057
My friend, you can be
whoever you want to be.
230
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,688
I let all of my children name themselves
once they reach the age of seven.
231
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,984
That is why my eldest is called
"Smingus Dingus."
232
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:15,986
Mmm.
233
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:19,323
Dream big, and you may never wake up.
234
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,995
Thank you.
235
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,413
Jesus.
236
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:30,626
I can't believe I'm about to say this,
but hey, lads, I agree with Zava.
237
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:33,754
Yes, it's a big fucking game,
but we've just gotta focus, do what we do,
238
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,464
- do you know what I mean?
- Yeah. He's right.
239
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:36,673
And don't forget, yeah?
240
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,972
- Believe in "Believe."
- Yes.
241
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,933
- [gasping] Whoa!
- Whoa! What the--
242
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,768
What?
243
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,895
- [clicks tongue] Oh, shit.
- What?
244
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,439
Oh.
245
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,611
- Why the fuck did you do that?
- I was just checking
246
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,571
if I acquired the ability
to chop things in half.
247
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,073
Yeah, and what if you had?
248
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,743
Sorry, bruv. I didn't think it through.
249
00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:06,245
[stammers]
250
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,873
Fellas. Someone ripped this in half.
251
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,416
What the fuck? What?
252
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,293
[player] What the fuck?
253
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,379
- [all chattering]
- [player] You're joking.
254
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,383
[player] What the fuck?
255
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,468
[Greek music playing]
256
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,949
Oh, hello...
257
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,993
Jade.
258
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,538
Nathan.
259
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,541
Shelley.
260
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,003
Lovely to see you again. [chuckles]
261
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,296
Okay.
262
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,924
[smacks lips] Sorry I've not been
around much. [chuckles]
263
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,924
[smacks lips] Sorry I've not been
around much. [chuckles]
264
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,676
You haven't?
265
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,722
No. No, I've been, uh, really busy
with, uh-- with my new job.
266
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:11,476
Big, big new job just keeping me...
[groans] ...very busy.
267
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:15,105
Sounds silly. Maybe you should quit
your big new busy job.
268
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,693
Anyway, uh,
just here to pick up my takeaway.
269
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,945
I bought lunch for my whole staff.
270
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,072
Apart from the trainers,
'cause they eat like cows. [chuckles]
271
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:28,160
Sorry, that sounds, um-- No, they're
love-- I mean, they're lovely people.
272
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,953
They're just vegetarians. [chuckles]
273
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,751
No way.
274
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:41,465
Look who's here. No fucking way! [laughs]
275
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,674
Do you know who this is?
276
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:43,842
Mmm. Jason Jelly.
277
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,886
- [manager] That's right.
- No, "Nathan Shelley."
278
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,888
- Mmm.
- That's right, Nathan Shelley,
279
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,891
manager of West Ham United,
in my restaurant!
280
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,769
- [laughs] Big week, my guy.
- Yep.
281
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:57,814
Big fucking week. [inhales sharply]
I'm Derek. I'm the manager here.
282
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,359
[clears throat] Anything you need,
you got it.
283
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,359
[clears throat] Anything you need,
you got it.
284
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,987
- Okay.
- From one manager to another. [chuckles]
285
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,864
Yeah, well, it's not--
not quite the same, but--
286
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,492
[chuckles] Facing your team this week.
287
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,286
- [huffs] That's gotta be hard-core, right?
- Mmm.
288
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,830
I mean, you talked a lot of shit
about them in the press. [chuckles]
289
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,793
- Didn't ya? I loved it. [chuckles]
- Sorry, can I, um-- can I pay?
290
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:24,591
[stammers] No. No. No, no, no, no.
This is on me, okay? On me. Understand?
291
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636
This man's money is no good here. [laughs]
292
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:31,181
Never charge. Except for booze.
Gotta charge for booze.
293
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,891
I didn't order any booze. It's 12:30.
294
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:36,103
[laughs] Knock 'em dead.
295
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:40,274
- Mmm.
- Go Hammers! [chuckling]
296
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,358
No way.
297
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:45,070
Oi, oi, oi.
Do you know who this is? [chuckles]
298
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,784
All right, okay. Bye.
299
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,592
[Shandy] And cut!
300
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,552
Lovely, Colin. Thank you.
301
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,346
All right. [inhales deeply]
Okay, Dani, you're up.
302
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,890
[chattering]
303
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:13,849
I'm very nervous.
304
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,726
Oh, no, no. Don't be nervous.
Look, just sit here.
305
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:16,852
- Mm-hmm.
- Look into the camera
306
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,854
and pretend you're talking
to an old friend.
307
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,189
My oldest friend is Javiar.
308
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,691
Great. How long have you known Javiar?
309
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,278
Only a couple of months,
but he turns 108 years old next week.
310
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,615
- Perfect.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
311
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,825
Final checks.
312
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:34,703
Thank you.
313
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,123
- [crew member] Hello, Keeley.
- Hi.
314
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,919
Yeah.
Just scoot to your left a little bit.
315
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:45,172
Yeah, that's it. Okay, off you go, Dani.
316
00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:49,760
{\an8}You may not know who I am, but I think
the most beautiful parts of a woman
317
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:51,803
{\an8}are her flaws.
318
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:55,807
- Hmm.
- And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next!
319
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,892
Okay.
320
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,771
- [gasps, screams]
- [exclaims, laughs]
321
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,771
- [gasps, screams]
- [exclaims, laughs]
322
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:02,689
- Brought you coffee.
- Yeah.
323
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,900
- How's it going?
- Oh, my God. This is great.
324
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,234
- Yeah?
- They're great.
325
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,529
I just-- I love being the boss.
326
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,614
- Cheers to that. Yeah.
- Cheers to that.
327
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,990
Uh, you ready, Zoreaux?
328
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,660
Oh, uh, yeah,
but I actually go by "Van Damme" now.
329
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,704
{\an8}Okay, great. Action, Van Damme.
330
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,665
{\an8}You don't know who I am,
331
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,377
{\an8}but I'm looking for someone
who likes short walks on the beach,
332
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,964
{\an8}so we can spend more time, you know...
333
00:17:27,506 --> 00:17:29,508
[snickering]
334
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,720
And cut.
335
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,515
Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next!
336
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:37,975
[chattering]
337
00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:40,018
- Van Damme?
- Yeah. It's my new name.
338
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,229
Oh, cool. Why?
339
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,106
Because I love Jean-Claude Van Damme,
340
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,149
and Zava told me
I should be whoever I wanna be.
341
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,611
- Okay, yeah. Cool.
- All right, Van Damme.
342
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,321
- All right, boys.
- Take it easy.
343
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:55,117
- [Shandy] He's so fucking hot.
- [chuckles]
344
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,493
What's his story?
345
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,954
Jamie? Oh, he's so cocky.
346
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,374
But I guess you have to be at this level.
347
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,751
But he only thinks about himself.
348
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,045
[speaks indistinctly]
349
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,505
At least, he used to.
350
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,049
[Jamie] Joking. No.
[speaking indistinctly]
351
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:14,469
But he's not accountable for his actions
and what they do to others.
352
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:15,554
[speaks indistinctly]
353
00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:19,391
Except he is getting better
at making apologies.
354
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,687
Still, he only thinks with his dick.
355
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:29,109
And yet, I don't think
he's seen anyone in ages.
356
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:33,655
[inhales deeply]
I just wanna know if I can bang him, babe.
357
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,036
Oh. [chuckles] I don't know.
358
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,580
You should probably ask him,
it's his dick. [chuckles]
359
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,916
Cool. Off you go, Jamie.
360
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,212
[engine revs]
361
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:50,547
[chattering]
362
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,842
Oh, what are y'all still doing here?
363
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,844
Coach, you're gonna
wanna watch this. [sighs]
364
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,137
Ooh, is it one of them videos
365
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,306
of a military parent
coming home after a long tour?
366
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,600
'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears
and snot for dinner.
367
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,600
'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears
and snot for dinner.
368
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,310
- Not quite.
- Hmm.
369
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,999
[Roy chuckles]
370
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,668
[chuckles]
371
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:40,973
[Coach Beard sighs]
372
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,895
[Roy] Here we go.
373
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,356
[Ted groans]
374
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:53,318
[groans]
375
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,738
Where'd this come from?
376
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,366
This fucking legend
thought to pull the security footage
377
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,868
when we told him about the sign.
378
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,868
when we told him about the sign.
379
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,661
I guess you can take the boy
out of journalism
380
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,329
but you can't take journalism
out of the boy.
381
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,373
Right, you fucking ruined it now.
The point is,
382
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,876
the answer we were looking for
has arrived.
383
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,627
What are you talking about?
384
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:14,047
A video like this could motivate a team, perhaps.
385
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:15,716
Mm-hmm.
386
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,011
Thank you for your help, Trent.
387
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:21,805
May a young Robert Redford
portray you in a film someday.
388
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,599
- Probably Dustin Hoffman.
- Mm-hmm.
389
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:24,850
- [chuckles] Good night.
- Good night.
390
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,270
Go home, guys. Get some sleep.
391
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,814
- Okay.
- [Ted] Mm-hmm.
392
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,566
- Good night, Ted. Night, Beard.
- Good night.
393
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,650
Night, Coach.
394
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,237
[sighs]
395
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,868
- Uh, Coach.
- Mmm.
396
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:46,038
I was thinking about your Sassy situation.
397
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,164
Oh, yeah.
398
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,124
Jane's sister is in town.
399
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:51,210
- No, thank you, Coach.
- That's the right answer.
400
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:56,632
[door closes]
401
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,106
Burning the midnight oil, I see.
402
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,361
Uh, yeah. Sorry for the smell. [chuckles]
403
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,489
The oil burning. [stammers]
404
00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,533
Oh. [chuckles]
405
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:25,452
So, you're feeling confident
about this weekend?
406
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,705
Yeah. Yeah, no, I think so. Um...
407
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,210
Yeah, no. Go-- Yeah.
We're gonna destroy, right? [chuckles]
408
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,212
Good.
409
00:21:35,212 --> 00:21:37,422
No, it's j-- Um-- It's just, I--
410
00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:41,885
I just haven't seen Ted since I left
and, uh...
411
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:46,014
We didn't leave on the best of terms and...
412
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,018
I feel like I owe him
an apology or something.
413
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,312
You did what was best for you.
414
00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:54,314
What were you meant to do?
415
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,025
Hang around,
supporting Ted for the rest of your life?
416
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,610
I don't think so.
417
00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:02,239
[chuckles]
418
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:07,911
You've done nothing wrong, Nathan,
I promise you.
419
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,540
You earned this job.
420
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,545
Well, so what do I say when I see him?
421
00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:19,756
[chuckles] You say nothing,
apart from "hello."
422
00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,510
You look him in the eye.
You shake his hand.
423
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,763
And then you beat him.
424
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,851
And then we go and celebrate.
425
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,187
[scoffs] Okay.
426
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:34,730
Good night, Nathan.
427
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,986
Good night, Rupert. Thank you.
428
00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:43,572
Mr. Mannion.
429
00:23:26,490 --> 00:23:27,491
[scoffs]
430
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:34,706
Hey.
431
00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,042
Working late? Or hardly working?
432
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,294
Well, I don't think
that's how the joke goes. [chuckles]
433
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,504
What joke?
434
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,798
Never mind. What's up?
435
00:23:43,549 --> 00:23:44,550
[sighs]
436
00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:47,636
I really want to win this one.
437
00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:50,013
I know.
438
00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,522
Everything okay?
439
00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,238
Am I a mess?
440
00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:07,823
Of course you are.
That's why we get along.
441
00:24:07,823 --> 00:24:09,408
[both chuckle]
442
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:16,373
And I wish I could tell you
to ignore Sass, but she's usually right.
443
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:20,919
[clicks tongue] So, Sassy already told you
about the-- Of course. Girl talk.
444
00:24:21,587 --> 00:24:22,588
Girl talk.
445
00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:25,674
Mm-hmm. [sighs] Hmm.
446
00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:28,218
So, is everything all right?
447
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,013
Yeah, I'm good.
448
00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:32,139
Oklahoma?
449
00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:38,312
[grunts]
450
00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,982
I'm a work in "progmess."
451
00:24:45,402 --> 00:24:47,487
[chuckles]
452
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:49,072
Good night, Ted.
453
00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,328
You already won, you know?
454
00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:58,457
You got that turkey out of your life.
455
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:01,710
[sighs]
456
00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:03,879
Beat them.
457
00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,300
Good night, boss.
458
00:25:16,642 --> 00:25:17,726
[sighs]
459
00:25:18,769 --> 00:25:20,521
[crowd chattering]
460
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:27,945
- [camera shutters clicking]
- [reporters clamoring]
461
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:47,297
[reporters] Oh!
462
00:25:49,091 --> 00:25:51,093
[reporters cheering]
463
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,890
Oi, do I look all right?
464
00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:58,600
Of course you do. Why?
465
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,018
Well, if Jack actually shows up,
466
00:25:58,684 --> 00:26:00,018
Well, if Jack actually shows up,
467
00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:03,272
I want him to think that I look
mysterious and powerful.
468
00:26:03,272 --> 00:26:04,690
Dynamic, you know?
469
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,570
- All of that.
- You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic.
470
00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:14,157
Ooh. Shit, I'm nervous.
471
00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,828
I think I need to go
and reapply my lip liner.
472
00:26:19,955 --> 00:26:21,790
- I'll see you upstairs in the suite.
- Yep.
473
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,294
[Rebecca chuckles]
474
00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:27,045
Hey, Rebecca!
475
00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:29,590
- Rupert.
- Wonderful to see you.
476
00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:33,218
- Bex. Love the new hair.
- Hi.
477
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,012
I haven't changed my hair.
478
00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:37,139
Nor should you. It's perfection.
479
00:26:37,139 --> 00:26:38,557
[chuckles]
480
00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,142
So, how's the little one?
481
00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:44,271
Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already walking.
Can you believe that?
482
00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:47,191
Yeah.
Drooling and pooing around the house.
483
00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,901
[chuckles] Takes after her father.
484
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:54,114
- [laughing]
- Well. Hey, take it easy on us today.
485
00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,366
Aah. No promises.
486
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:01,079
[sighs]
487
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:01,079
[sighs]
488
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,125
[sighs]
489
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,132
[gasps] Oh, shit. [sighs]
490
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,476
Excuse me.
491
00:27:22,476 --> 00:27:24,978
I've got a bit of a situation here.
492
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,818
Oh, thank you. But it's actually not that.
493
00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:36,532
[gasps] You're a lifesaver!
494
00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:39,284
- [chuckles]
- Usually I'm like clockwork,
495
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:42,037
but because I've been so stressed,
I've come on early.
496
00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:46,375
Oh, I'm so happy that it's a super
and not a skinny.
497
00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:48,126
Who are those even for?
498
00:27:48,126 --> 00:27:52,256
It's not like my vagina is on a diet,
I'm on my fucking period. [chuckles]
499
00:27:52,256 --> 00:27:53,257
[toilet flushes]
500
00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:54,883
Oi, thanks for helping me.
501
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:56,385
And I love your shoes!
502
00:27:56,385 --> 00:27:58,053
Ah, yeah. [chuckles] Thanks.
503
00:27:58,053 --> 00:28:00,681
- Pay it forward.
- Yeah.
504
00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,681
- Pay it forward.
- Yeah.
505
00:28:00,681 --> 00:28:01,765
[elevator bell dings]
506
00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,313
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Sorry.
507
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,398
Excuse me.
508
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776
Hi.
509
00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,530
- Boy, you're tall.
- [chuckles]
510
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:19,032
Is your dad a tree or something?
[chuckles]
511
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:21,535
No, I'm screwing around. [sighs]
512
00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:23,787
Hey, speaking of trees,
who are y'all rooting for today?
513
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:24,913
[all] West Ham.
514
00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:28,000
- Yeah, no, that makes sense. Yeah.
- [elevator bell dings]
515
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:36,300
Go ahead. Yeah. Going down one more floor.
516
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,552
- Thank you.
- Yeah, of course.
517
00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,096
Best of luck out there.
518
00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,156
Hey, Nate. That you?
519
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,659
Oh. Hi. I didn't see you there.
520
00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:05,954
- Oh, that's okay. How you been, man?
- Yeah, okay.
521
00:29:06,455 --> 00:29:08,457
Yeah. Good. Good.
522
00:29:09,499 --> 00:29:11,210
- [chuckles]
- [sighs]
523
00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:15,297
Listen, Ted.
524
00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:18,550
- I-- I just wanna say that...
- [elevator bell dings]
525
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:19,676
...the way I left--
526
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:22,971
Nathan. There you are.
527
00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,265
Yeah.
528
00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,398
Hey, Rupert.
529
00:29:34,107 --> 00:29:36,485
- Ted.
- Nice to see you again.
530
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,946
[chuckles] Good luck.
531
00:29:41,907 --> 00:29:42,950
[door closes]
532
00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,828
- [Barbara] Keeley? Yeah. [laughs]
- [Rebecca] She's absolutely fantastic.
533
00:29:46,828 --> 00:29:48,997
- Oh, here she is now.
- [Rebecca] Ah.
534
00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:52,584
- Hey. Hey. Yeah.
- Um, Keeley? This is Jack Danvers.
535
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:53,794
Hello.
536
00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,130
I believe you have something of mine.
537
00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,677
Oh, fuck. You're Jack?
538
00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,677
Oh, fuck. You're Jack?
539
00:30:01,677 --> 00:30:02,970
[chuckles]
540
00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:05,055
Ooh, this is a bit embarrassing.
541
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,891
- No.
- Yeah. We all thought you were a man.
542
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,768
Yeah, that too. [chuckles]
543
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,478
Oh, it's like that old riddle.
544
00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,939
- What riddle?
- You know, always a tricky one, this one.
545
00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:15,566
A father and son are in a car wreck.
546
00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:19,403
Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed
to an emergency room.
547
00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:21,446
A surgeon walks in and says,
548
00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:24,241
"I can't operate on this boy.
He's my son."
549
00:30:24,241 --> 00:30:25,784
[whispers] How is it possible?
550
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,120
- [gasps] Because she's a woman.
- She's gay.
551
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,163
- Sperm donor.
- He lives in a simulation?
552
00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:33,709
Right.
Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now.
553
00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:37,588
Um, so, I assume "Jack" is short
for "Jacqueline," right?
554
00:30:37,588 --> 00:30:39,506
No. It's short for my father wanted a boy.
555
00:30:40,465 --> 00:30:41,550
[Shandy chuckles]
556
00:30:41,550 --> 00:30:45,721
I'm gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now.
557
00:30:45,721 --> 00:30:48,015
[chuckles] Jack, welcome.
558
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,601
We are not allowed to take drinks
to our seats.
559
00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:52,978
So if you want to get plastered,
we should probably do that now.
560
00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:55,272
- Mmm. Okay.
- [laughing]
561
00:30:55,856 --> 00:30:57,566
Well, after you.
562
00:30:57,566 --> 00:31:00,277
[Barbara continues laughing]
563
00:30:57,649 --> 00:31:00,277
[Barbara continues laughing]
564
00:31:00,277 --> 00:31:03,071
Ah, you're so funny, Rebecca. [chuckles]
565
00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:07,242
[exhales heavily]
Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca.
566
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,330
I hope she doesn't try and kill her
and wear her skin as a suit.
567
00:31:15,918 --> 00:31:17,252
What the fuck?
568
00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:19,713
- Cheers. It's gonna be a good day.
- [door bell jingles]
569
00:31:19,713 --> 00:31:21,757
- All right, Baz.
- Oi!
570
00:31:21,757 --> 00:31:22,841
[door bell jingles]
571
00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:25,093
This is a Richmond pub.
572
00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,804
It's all right, Mae. He's with me.
573
00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,228
Get the fuck out!
574
00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:38,607
[all laughing]
575
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:40,859
[patron] Come on, Richmond!
576
00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:43,612
[all] Come on, Richmond!
Come on, Richmond!
577
00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:45,447
[Arlo]
It's a full house for today's battle
578
00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:49,451
between West Ham United
and Zava's AFC Richmond.
579
00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:53,121
A win would take either team
to the top spot in the table,
580
00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,250
knocking mighty Manchester City
off number one.
581
00:31:56,792 --> 00:31:58,961
Should be a tight match, Chris.
Any predictions?
582
00:31:58,961 --> 00:32:00,838
I stopped making predictions, Arlo.
583
00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:00,838
I stopped making predictions, Arlo.
584
00:32:00,838 --> 00:32:02,256
Because I was never wrong.
585
00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:05,592
Got to the point I was worried
I was the one making things happen.
586
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:07,010
Well, that's interesting.
587
00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:08,178
I knew you'd say that.
588
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,681
[crowd singing]
♪ They fade and die ♪
589
00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:14,768
♪ Fortune's always hiding ♪
590
00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,522
♪ I've looked everywhere ♪
591
00:32:18,522 --> 00:32:22,442
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles ♪
592
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:26,405
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air ♪
593
00:32:26,405 --> 00:32:29,116
United! United!
594
00:32:29,116 --> 00:32:32,160
United! United!
595
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,997
United! United!
596
00:32:34,997 --> 00:32:36,081
[crowd cheering]
597
00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:37,374
Uh, Nate.
598
00:32:37,374 --> 00:32:39,209
[cheering continues]
599
00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:41,670
Let's have fun out there today, yeah?
[chuckles]
600
00:32:56,602 --> 00:32:58,312
[whistle blows]
601
00:33:06,695 --> 00:33:09,156
[Arlo] West Ham are quite happy
to just soak up the pressure.
602
00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:12,659
Not taking any risks at all
against Richmond,
603
00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:14,661
of all teams, at home.
604
00:33:15,412 --> 00:33:18,874
- A sign of how far Richmond have come.
- It's all right. We're okay.
605
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:20,459
[Chris] What a threat Zava is.
606
00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:23,837
Richmond! To the right, to the right,
to the right! Tight! Don't get scared.
607
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:29,635
- [Thierry grunts]
- [Arlo] And it stays nil-nil,
608
00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:32,012
thanks to an amazing save by Zoreaux.
609
00:33:32,012 --> 00:33:34,223
- Van Damme. Van Damme.
- [Coach Beard, Roy] Van Damme!
610
00:33:34,223 --> 00:33:36,183
I hear he wants
to be called "Van Damme" now.
611
00:33:36,183 --> 00:33:37,100
Why?
612
00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:39,686
Well, we'd probably have to dive
into his childhood for that answer.
613
00:33:39,686 --> 00:33:40,854
[crowd cheering]
614
00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:44,650
[Arlo] Richmond need the key pass
to unlock the Hammers' defense.
615
00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,734
That could be the one.
616
00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,946
- Tartt hits the woodwork.
- No!
617
00:33:48,946 --> 00:33:51,031
- That was close.
- Zava was wide open.
618
00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,953
For Zava!
619
00:33:56,828 --> 00:34:00,791
[Arlo] There'll be two more minutes
in the first half of this scoreless,
620
00:33:56,828 --> 00:34:00,791
[Arlo] There'll be two more minutes
in the first half of this scoreless,
621
00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:02,918
but pulsating, London derby.
622
00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,464
- Obisanya caught in possession.
- No. No, no, no.
623
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,675
[Arlo]
And here come West Ham on the break.
624
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,386
Armando bearing down on goal.
625
00:34:13,387 --> 00:34:14,388
[grunts]
626
00:34:14,388 --> 00:34:15,639
- [West Ham fans] Yeah!
- Yes!
627
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,266
[Arlo] And it's there.
Right under Van Damme.
628
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:21,228
The Canadian keeper apparently
not as unstoppable
629
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,105
as the Muscles from Brussels.
630
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,983
[Chris] That's not fair, Arlo. Nobody is.
631
00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:27,943
- We've been here before. Come on.
- Come on, lads.
632
00:34:27,943 --> 00:34:31,487
[Arlo] The Hammers go up 1-nil
just before halftime.
633
00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,032
Fuck it.
634
00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,077
All right, guys. Come on, now.
Let's end this half strong!
635
00:34:38,328 --> 00:34:39,621
Huddle. [whistles]
636
00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,958
What's this shit?
637
00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,128
- [Ted] Hmm.
- I don't know.
638
00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:48,880
- Lower. Lower. Move it right. Five.
- Brilliant. Brilliant.
639
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,257
- Right now, come on. Five.
- Ref, just blow the fucking whistle.
640
00:34:52,885 --> 00:34:53,886
[whistle blows]
641
00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,554
[Arlo] West Ham pressing now.
642
00:34:56,554 --> 00:34:58,515
- No, no.
- [Arlo] A new tactic from the Hammers
643
00:34:58,515 --> 00:35:00,642
in the closing seconds of the first half.
644
00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:00,642
in the closing seconds of the first half.
645
00:35:00,642 --> 00:35:02,561
[Chris]
It's never too late to change, Arlo.
646
00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,816
- [Thierry] No!
- Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck!
647
00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:11,028
[Arlo] And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me.
648
00:35:15,616 --> 00:35:16,617
Excuse me.
649
00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:22,206
How did that happen?
650
00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:25,542
- [whistle blows]
- [Arlo] We go to halftime.
651
00:35:25,542 --> 00:35:27,586
Richmond have dominated possession,
652
00:35:27,586 --> 00:35:31,757
but out of absolutely nowhere,
it's 2-nil to the Hammers.
653
00:35:31,757 --> 00:35:33,634
[bar patron] We don't deserve that.
654
00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:35,552
- What the fuck just happened?
- [sighs]
655
00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:36,803
I-- I d-- I don't know.
656
00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,475
Hey, fellas. Uh, I'll be right back. Okay?
657
00:35:41,475 --> 00:35:42,768
The fuck are you going?
658
00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:45,729
- I'll just be a minute or two, okay?
- What do we t-tell-- tell the team?
659
00:35:45,729 --> 00:35:47,481
I don't know. Surprise me. [chuckles]
660
00:35:47,481 --> 00:35:48,565
[stammers]
661
00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:55,489
Hey, boss. What you doing down here?
662
00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,659
I just wanted to tell you
that I believe in you, Ted.
663
00:35:58,659 --> 00:35:59,826
Uh-huh?
664
00:35:59,826 --> 00:36:02,955
And I know that I've been
putting an awful lot of pressure on you
665
00:35:59,910 --> 00:36:02,955
And I know that I've been
putting an awful lot of pressure on you
666
00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:07,793
to win today, but I just--
just want you to forget all about that.
667
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:11,588
Just... [inhales sharply] ...be yourself
and have fun.
668
00:36:13,048 --> 00:36:14,049
- Okay.
- Yeah.
669
00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:16,009
Okay. Well, thank you.
670
00:36:17,803 --> 00:36:19,555
I believe in you, Ted.
671
00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,016
- And it's intense.
- [exhales sharply]
672
00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,395
- I better go. All right.
- Off you pop. [chuckles]
673
00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:28,063
[Rebecca breathes deeply]
674
00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:34,319
Remember, have fun! Whoo-hoo!
675
00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:37,906
- Yes! This is so exciting!
- [exhales deeply]
676
00:36:37,906 --> 00:36:39,199
Whoo-hoo!
677
00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,701
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
678
00:36:40,701 --> 00:36:43,287
[players chattering]
679
00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:44,413
No.
680
00:36:46,582 --> 00:36:48,584
[clamoring, shouting]
681
00:36:52,838 --> 00:36:54,173
This is your surprise, huh?
682
00:36:54,715 --> 00:36:57,885
A minute ago, they were catatonic.
Now look at them.
683
00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,472
- They're killers.
- Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good.
684
00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,472
- They're killers.
- Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good.
685
00:37:09,938 --> 00:37:14,193
- [crowd cheering]
- [speaking indistinctly]
686
00:37:18,989 --> 00:37:21,200
[Arlo] Oh, my.
Richmond coming out of the tunnel
687
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,452
with a palpable chip on their shoulder.
688
00:37:24,036 --> 00:37:28,207
[Chris] Wow. A real tension on the pitch.
I think we're in for an exciting half.
689
00:37:28,207 --> 00:37:31,335
[Arlo] We begin the second half
with Richmond looking for a strong start.
690
00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,587
- Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em.
- Fucking kill 'em.
691
00:37:33,587 --> 00:37:34,963
- Here we go. Here we go!
- Kill!
692
00:37:34,963 --> 00:37:35,923
[whistle blows]
693
00:37:37,758 --> 00:37:40,052
- [Arlo] Ooh. That's an awful tackle.
- [patrons] Oh.
694
00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,845
- He would be fortunate to escape...
- Oh, fuck.
695
00:37:41,845 --> 00:37:43,180
...with just a yellow.
696
00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:45,098
It's a deserved red, and Richmond
697
00:37:45,098 --> 00:37:48,393
will play almost the entire second half
with ten men.
698
00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,730
He's actually a very sweet young man.
699
00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:55,359
[Arlo] Here come West Ham. [grunts]
700
00:37:55,359 --> 00:37:56,860
[patrons] Aw.
701
00:37:56,860 --> 00:37:58,362
[patrons chattering]
702
00:37:58,362 --> 00:38:00,197
[Arlo] And now Van Damme
has been sent off.
703
00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:00,197
[Arlo] And now Van Damme
has been sent off.
704
00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,783
- We're playing like Italians.
- I know.
705
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,451
It's awesome.
706
00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:05,827
[players clamoring, grunting]
707
00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,914
Oh, dear.
708
00:38:12,251 --> 00:38:13,669
- [whistle blows]
- [groans]
709
00:38:15,003 --> 00:38:16,964
[players shouting]
710
00:38:18,966 --> 00:38:19,967
[whistle blows]
711
00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,845
[Arlo]
It's getting a touch spicy out there.
712
00:38:22,845 --> 00:38:26,139
[Chris] Spicy, Arlo?
This is vintage vindaloo.
713
00:38:27,266 --> 00:38:28,475
[grunts]
714
00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:29,434
No.
715
00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:31,228
[whistle blows]
716
00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:36,942
[arguing indistinctly]
717
00:38:37,943 --> 00:38:38,944
[whistle blows]
718
00:38:41,196 --> 00:38:45,784
[Arlo] Oh, Montlaur has lost his mind,
and Richmond have lost a third player.
719
00:38:45,784 --> 00:38:46,827
[shouting indistinctly]
720
00:38:46,827 --> 00:38:48,662
Om.
721
00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:50,497
[shouting continues]
722
00:38:53,584 --> 00:38:55,210
- Oof.
- [whistle blows]
723
00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:57,004
Fucking come on.
724
00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,591
[Arlo]
Richmond have completely lost the plot.
725
00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,591
[Arlo]
Richmond have completely lost the plot.
726
00:39:01,508 --> 00:39:05,137
Zava must be wondering
what he's done to deserve this.
727
00:39:09,224 --> 00:39:10,517
[whistle blows]
728
00:39:10,517 --> 00:39:12,060
- Yes!
- [crowd cheers]
729
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,104
[Arlo] And it's 4-1 to the Hammers.
730
00:39:14,104 --> 00:39:17,024
It went from evenly matched
to unevenly matched
731
00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:21,069
to light a match on fire
and put it into a can of petrol.
732
00:39:21,069 --> 00:39:23,488
[Chris] That second half should've come
with a trigger warning.
733
00:39:23,488 --> 00:39:27,826
[Arlo] One extraordinary goal by Zava
did not make it any less tough to watch.
734
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:31,496
Richmond showed a side of themselves
we've never seen before.
735
00:39:31,496 --> 00:39:34,082
They played angry, dirty and ugly.
736
00:39:34,082 --> 00:39:37,127
[Chris] Which are also the names
of Zava's three youngest kids.
737
00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,213
Shit.
738
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:42,799
Shit.
739
00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:45,135
Shit.
740
00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:47,262
- [Higgins] Hey, it's okay.
- [Rebecca] Shit.
741
00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,310
Did you guys have fun?
742
00:39:53,310 --> 00:39:54,394
[stammers] Yeah.
743
00:39:54,394 --> 00:39:57,439
The violence was quite entertaining,
wasn't it? [chuckles] In a way.
744
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,401
[Keeley chuckles]
745
00:40:04,279 --> 00:40:05,113
[groans]
746
00:40:05,113 --> 00:40:07,324
Sending off Van Damme was a mistake.
747
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,326
He played with passion.
748
00:40:10,536 --> 00:40:13,080
"Passion" is a word we use
when we talk about love.
749
00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,960
It is also a word we use
to describe a crime.
750
00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,213
Sometimes it is also a fruit.
751
00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:27,094
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.
752
00:40:30,430 --> 00:40:31,431
[Rupert chuckles]
753
00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:34,476
[door clicks shut]
754
00:40:38,689 --> 00:40:39,690
[sighs]
755
00:40:40,649 --> 00:40:42,192
[sighs]
756
00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:51,368
- We fucked up.
- We overcorrected and played with hate.
757
00:40:51,368 --> 00:40:52,452
Mmm.
758
00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:56,957
- Be great if you yelled at us a bit.
- Please.
759
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:01,170
- Call us pieces of shit or something.
- Now.
760
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:01,170
- Call us pieces of shit or something.
- Now.
761
00:41:02,671 --> 00:41:03,881
You can hit us.
762
00:41:03,881 --> 00:41:05,132
Get it over with.
763
00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,011
Tried something new. It didn't work.
Big whoop.
764
00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:13,432
I will take that thumb drive
one of y'all's got.
765
00:41:19,730 --> 00:41:21,106
- [Coach Beard sighs]
- [Ted grunts]
766
00:41:22,441 --> 00:41:25,319
Shake it off, fellas.
Lot of football left this season.
767
00:41:29,323 --> 00:41:31,491
- What a fucking arsehole.
- I know.
768
00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:34,453
[reporter] You have to feel pretty good
about yourself after that win, yeah?
769
00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:36,788
Well, yeah.
Uh, Richmond were clearly rattled.
770
00:41:36,788 --> 00:41:40,292
Um, it was easier than I expected,
if I'm honest. [chuckles]
771
00:41:40,292 --> 00:41:41,376
[reporter] What about Ted?
772
00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:44,254
Quite a snub not to shake his hand
at the end of the game.
773
00:41:45,464 --> 00:41:48,842
Did I not? [stammers]
I-- I didn't mean to.
774
00:41:48,842 --> 00:41:52,554
I-- Guess I just got caught up
in the excitement of it all.
775
00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:54,348
Yeah. [inhales deeply]
776
00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,183
Excuse me a minute. I just...
777
00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,323
Coach Shelley,
Mr. Mannion asked me to give you this.
778
00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:14,701
{\an8}He'll meet you there in an hour.
779
00:42:16,203 --> 00:42:18,372
Oh. Thank--
780
00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:39,017
- It's so good to see you, Rebecca.
- You too, Bex.
781
00:42:39,017 --> 00:42:40,978
Oh, Rebecca, my dear.
782
00:42:40,978 --> 00:42:44,731
- So sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
783
00:42:44,731 --> 00:42:47,150
Come on, old man.
It's way past your bedtime.
784
00:42:49,903 --> 00:42:50,904
[Rebecca chuckles]
785
00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:53,115
Lovely to see you. [kisses]
786
00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,284
I saw you with your assistant.
787
00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:58,912
Your daughter deserves better,
and so does Bex.
788
00:42:59,997 --> 00:43:01,248
Stop fucking around.
789
00:42:59,997 --> 00:43:01,248
Stop fucking around.
790
00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:11,842
- Here you go. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
791
00:43:11,842 --> 00:43:15,012
[sighs] We are normally a lot better
than that. And nicer.
792
00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:19,808
Well, it's never great when your team
gets more red cards than goals, is it?
793
00:43:19,808 --> 00:43:21,643
- No. [chuckles]
- [Jack chuckles]
794
00:43:21,643 --> 00:43:24,563
[sighs] What a shit show. [chuckles]
795
00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:28,025
Anyway, good news. Bantr's trending.
796
00:43:28,025 --> 00:43:29,151
- It is?
- Yeah.
797
00:43:29,151 --> 00:43:32,154
Pretty sure
the change to the bio line helped.
798
00:43:32,696 --> 00:43:33,947
What are you talking about?
799
00:43:38,368 --> 00:43:39,620
Who did this?
800
00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:42,956
I did. This afternoon,
when I uploaded the vids.
801
00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,833
[clicks tongue] You're welcome.
802
00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,628
- Shandy.
- Yeah.
803
00:43:49,213 --> 00:43:53,634
This-- This is the opposite
of what Bantr is trying to do.
804
00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,969
Are you joking? They're gonna love it.
805
00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:58,555
I've literally tripled their subscribers
in an hour.
806
00:43:58,555 --> 00:43:59,765
[Jack inhales deeply, sighs]
807
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:03,227
You need to change this back, now. Please.
808
00:43:59,848 --> 00:44:03,227
You need to change this back, now. Please.
809
00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:05,395
Yeah.
810
00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:09,441
It was really lovely to meet you.
811
00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,486
- You too.
- Excuse me.
812
00:44:18,283 --> 00:44:21,912
- [Rupert] Hey. Here he is!
- [patrons cheering, applauding]
813
00:44:21,912 --> 00:44:24,456
[Rupert] The Wonder Kid himself.
814
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,919
The man of the hour!
815
00:44:28,919 --> 00:44:31,380
Aw. [stammers]
Thank you very much, Mr. Mannion.
816
00:44:31,380 --> 00:44:34,341
[grunts] Please, no. "Rupert."
817
00:44:34,341 --> 00:44:36,510
- Oh.
- Nathan.
818
00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,221
Oh. Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's...
819
00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:43,642
And, uh, Nathan,
allow me to introduce Anastasia.
820
00:44:45,185 --> 00:44:46,186
Huge fan.
821
00:44:49,439 --> 00:44:50,816
Oh, my God. You're famous.
822
00:44:50,816 --> 00:44:52,234
[chuckles] So are you.
823
00:44:52,234 --> 00:44:53,944
[chuckles]
824
00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,741
Congratulations to your victory.
825
00:45:00,450 --> 00:45:01,994
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
826
00:45:04,872 --> 00:45:05,873
Mmm.
827
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:08,041
[clears throat]
828
00:45:08,792 --> 00:45:10,460
[knocking]
829
00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,504
Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner!
830
00:45:14,756 --> 00:45:17,467
[breathes heavily] Let's go, Coach.
[pants]
831
00:45:22,973 --> 00:45:24,516
[Gary] That was hard to watch.
832
00:45:24,516 --> 00:45:28,437
Thierry, West Ham's domination today
saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed
833
00:45:28,437 --> 00:45:30,522
by his former assistant Nate Shelley.
834
00:45:30,522 --> 00:45:33,942
[Thierry] Gary, I love this quote
from a Chinese philosopher, Laozi,
835
00:45:33,942 --> 00:45:36,612
"When the student is ready,
the teacher will appear.
836
00:45:36,612 --> 00:45:40,157
When the student is truly ready,
the teacher will disappear."
837
00:45:40,157 --> 00:45:41,241
The Greyhounds...
838
00:46:01,303 --> 00:46:02,304
[glass thuds on table]
839
00:46:03,597 --> 00:46:07,184
[computer line ringing]
840
00:46:08,519 --> 00:46:10,854
[exhales deeply, clears throat]
841
00:46:10,854 --> 00:46:12,022
- [Michelle] Hi, Ted.
- Hey.
842
00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:13,649
Sorry about the match.
843
00:46:13,649 --> 00:46:16,151
No, no. That's all right.
It was a tough one. [chuckles]
844
00:46:16,151 --> 00:46:18,320
Henry's not here right now.
He's at a birthday party,
845
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,404
- but I'll--
- No, that's okay.
846
00:46:19,404 --> 00:46:22,991
I w-- I was actually hoping just to chat
with you. You-- You-- You got a minute?
847
00:46:23,659 --> 00:46:25,744
Sure. Is everything okay?
848
00:46:25,744 --> 00:46:30,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-- Well, uh-- No.
849
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,583
You know, I-- I just, um...
850
00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,587
I wanted to say something real quick. Um...
851
00:46:37,631 --> 00:46:39,216
[stammers] Look, I, uh...
852
00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:44,054
I know that you and I aren't, you know,
together anymore.
853
00:46:44,596 --> 00:46:45,931
A-And-- And I respect that.
854
00:46:45,931 --> 00:46:48,976
Okay? I-- I do. Um...
855
00:46:52,938 --> 00:46:55,649
But, um-- Well, uh, you know,
856
00:46:55,649 --> 00:46:59,152
this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob
really ticks me off.
857
00:47:01,029 --> 00:47:04,324
And I'm upset that we didn't ever really
get to talk about it
858
00:47:04,324 --> 00:47:06,159
before it all started.
859
00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:08,912
Yeah.
860
00:47:08,912 --> 00:47:13,625
A-And l-look,
I understand that m-me saying all this,
861
00:47:13,625 --> 00:47:17,129
uh, might be the wrong thing to do, but...
862
00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:22,926
I just feel like not saying it...
863
00:47:26,346 --> 00:47:28,056
i-i-isn't the, um...
864
00:47:29,975 --> 00:47:31,602
Well, wouldn't be the right thing either.
865
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,774
'Cause we gotta raise
this little boy together, you know?
866
00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,571
We're stuck with each other.
We're gonna share grandkids.
867
00:47:42,571 --> 00:47:43,655
[chuckles]
868
00:47:49,203 --> 00:47:50,787
I love you, Michelle.
869
00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:54,958
And I love Henry.
870
00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,548
And I love our family.
871
00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,548
And I love our family.
872
00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,177
No matter what it looks like.
873
00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,185
Okay?
874
00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,231
Of course.
875
00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:24,196
Well, uh, I'll talk to y'all soon.
876
00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:27,741
Have a good night.
Tell-- Tell Henry I love him.
877
00:48:28,575 --> 00:48:29,618
Good night, Ted.
878
00:48:44,007 --> 00:48:45,342
[sighs]