1
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:45,629
You know,
I didn't wanna say it at the time
2
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,466
'cause I'm trying to be
less stuck in my fucking ways...
3
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,051
But?
4
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,888
But I thought it was nuts to change
our entire philosophy
5
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,348
and style of play mid-season.
6
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,432
But?
7
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,102
But it's fucking great.
8
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,980
You know, they're having fun,
we're having fun,
9
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,982
these folks are having fun.
It's a whole bunch of fun.
10
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,820
I haven't seen 22 dudes have
this good a time on grass
11
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,990
since I saw the Grateful Dead jamming
with the Black Crowes and Phish.
12
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,575
I bet that was a tight show.
13
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,327
It was a mess. But they had fun.
14
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:22,958
- Beautiful!
- Shoot!
15
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,299
Yeah!
16
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,261
Whistle! Whistle!
17
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,846
That's half. Great job.
18
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,099
You hear that?
Roy said y'all did a great job.
19
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,230
Nice shot, mate.
20
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,534
Ay, Chihuahua.
21
00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,078
I can't remember which pair is clean
and which one is dirty.
22
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,122
You bundle your dirty socks?
23
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,834
Just because they're dirty doesn't mean
they don't deserve to have a friend.
24
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,794
He's right. After all,
we're all mates with Richard.
25
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014
Hey, boyo.
26
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,685
Do you wanna get a beer
or something later? Have a chat?
27
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,063
No.
28
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,787
Ay, no. I chose the dirty socks.
29
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:44,873
Oops.
30
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,445
So, have you heard from Jack yet?
31
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,533
{\an8}You know how you're never ever
supposed to write another text
32
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,076
{\an8}to an unanswered text?
33
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:22,578
{\an8}Of course.
34
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,080
Oh, God. You sent a double text.
35
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,799
So much blue.
36
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:36,925
I know.
37
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,220
It's like I got diarrhea of the thumbs
or something.
38
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:41,847
{\an8}Come here.
39
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,224
{\an8}Uh-oh.
40
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,226
{\an8}When girl talk turns into girl hug,
41
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,437
{\an8}you know that either means
something horrible's happened
42
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,855
{\an8}or absolutely nothing at all.
43
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,440
Jack's ghosting Keeley.
44
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,816
Oh, no.
45
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,695
First, she wants to go on a break,
and now the old digital Irish goodbye.
46
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,656
{\an8}Which is a term I never really understood.
47
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,117
{\an8}'Cause I got a buddy back home
named Seamus O'Malley,
48
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,620
{\an8}and that son of a gun hugs folks goodbye
for, like, 20 minutes
49
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,621
{\an8}before he leaves anywhere.
50
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:07,581
{\an8}Yeah, sorry to hear about that.
51
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,626
{\an8}Hey, I did make you some biscuits,
you know, just to soften the blow.
52
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,835
{\an8}Thanks, Ted.
53
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,086
{\an8}Thank you.
54
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,130
{\an8}What?
There's like 40 quid in here.
55
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,050
{\an8}I didn't know you were
gonna be here till this morning.
56
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,886
{\an8}No time to do anything special,
so I just tossed a little cash in there.
57
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,013
{\an8}That is very sweet. Thank you, Ted.
58
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431
{\an8}Ain't nothing to it but to do it.
59
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,100
{\an8}Hey, boss. You mind if
I skip the press conference today?
60
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,394
{\an8}Michelle and I got these parent-teacher
meetings I don't wanna miss.
61
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,688
Of course, Ted. Family first.
62
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,648
I appreciate it.
63
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,400
We could have Roy do it.
64
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,487
{\an8}I know he hates that stuff,
but he is really good at it.
65
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,614
{\an8}I mean, you know, fine by me.
66
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,698
{\an8}Great idea.
67
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:45,077
{\an8}Look at you. Heartbroken,
but still kicking butt.
68
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,621
{\an8}I mean, I'm not heartbroken.
It's more like heart-bent.
69
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:49,957
{\an8}Heart-bent. I like that.
70
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,417
{\an8}It's a great title for a country song.
You know, like...
71
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,671
I'm heart-bent in my apartment
72
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,799
'Cause all that you left
Was your fart scent
73
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,008
All right. Goodbye, Ted.
74
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,760
{\an8}And now that you're gone
75
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,930
{\an8}I wrote this song
'Cause all you left was
76
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,849
{\an8}The smell of your farts
77
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,183
{\an8}- Coach Kent.
- Hey.
78
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:13,814
{\an8}Speak of the devil.
79
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,274
Okay.
80
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,735
- Keeley.
- Roy.
81
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,154
{\an8}So I need you to fill in for Ted
82
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,990
{\an8}at today's press conference,
if that's okay.
83
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,324
Fuck no.
84
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,788
I mean, why can't Ted do it?
85
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,045
I mean, I'd love to.
86
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,130
Wonderful.
87
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:39,882
Shall we?
88
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,595
Fuck.
89
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:45,637
I heard that.
90
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,571
Delivery for Mr. Shelby.
91
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,572
It's Shelley.
92
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,700
Oh, my-- I'm so sorry.
93
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,744
{\an8}Hey, what are you doing here?
94
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,662
I brought you lunch.
Figured we'd have it here.
95
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,331
I'm surprised Derek gave you the time off.
96
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,582
{\an8}He said it was fine.
97
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,126
{\an8}As long as I brought him back
something with a West Ham logo on it.
98
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,086
Well, I can do that.
99
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,714
How about--
100
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,674
{\an8}There you go. Mouse pad.
101
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,844
{\an8}And he can have a scarf.
102
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,763
So sorry. There you go.
103
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,849
The-- And there. That's the official pro--
104
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,478
And actually, you know--
Just don't have that.
105
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,021
I only need one.
106
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,315
{\an8}Well, you know, just keep them
for next time.
107
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,989
Oh, dang.
108
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,825
You got to his afternoon kiss
before I did.
109
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,661
Rupert, hello.
110
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:53,247
Okay. So, Jade, this is Rupert, my boss.
111
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,583
And, Rupert, this is Jade, my girlfriend.
112
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,168
Well, hello there.
113
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,088
- Hello.
- It's worthwhile to meet you.
114
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,133
Jade. What a beautiful name.
115
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,136
Thank you. It's actually short for Jaded.
116
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,055
My mother named me
after her favorite aunt.
117
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,306
But I don't care.
118
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:18,021
Hold on. I like to consider myself
a bit of a-- an amateur dialectologist.
119
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:22,192
You are from the south of Poland, right?
120
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,611
Yes, I'm from Nowy Sącz.
121
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,239
Would you look at that smile.
122
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,118
Yeah, Jade,
if this young man wasn't so brilliant,
123
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,287
I'd say that you are out of his league.
124
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:38,834
What's that smell?
125
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,836
Jade surprised me with lunch.
126
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,213
It's from the Taste of Athens.
It's my favorite place.
127
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,549
I'm a hostess there.
128
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,344
Which is why it's his favorite place,
I would say.
129
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,596
Yeah.
130
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,639
Well, wonderful to meet you, Jade.
131
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,517
And, Nate, mate,
132
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,729
don't screw this up.
133
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,272
No.
134
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,400
Bye, Rupert.
135
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,071
He seems very wealthy. But also nice-like.
136
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,158
Yeah, no, he is.
He's actually really decent.
137
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,494
I owe him a lot. So--
138
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,872
Right.
139
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,208
It's so kind of you doing this, you know.
140
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,176
Pardon the interruption, Rebecca.
141
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:33,013
Did you know that Ted wasn't
doing his press conference today?
142
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,765
Yes. I asked Roy to fill in.
143
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,059
That explains it.
144
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,477
Is there a problem?
145
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,731
That is not what I said, Gary!
146
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,399
I have your quote right here!
147
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,651
You did say it, Coach.
148
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,070
- Stay out of this, Lloyd!
- Don't shout at Lloyd.
149
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,197
You said, and I quote,
150
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,408
"Joe Walsh is a better guitarist
than Jimmy Page."
151
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,202
That's what you said.
152
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,955
{\an8}Fine! I said it!
153
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,874
{\an8}But what I meant was
that Joe Walsh, underrated.
154
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,960
{\an8}Jimmy Page, overrated!
155
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,629
{\an8}I mean, Joe Walsh is a poet.
156
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:09,091
{\an8}Jimmy Page is a fucking
court stenographer on Adderall.
157
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:15,055
Are you out of your mind?
Page could beat Walsh with one string.
158
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,516
What do you mean beat him?
It's not a competition, man!
159
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,101
It's art, you fucking Neanderthal!
160
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,521
- Okay.
- Hello!
161
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,857
- Okay. I think this is over. Yeah.
- You're suspect!
162
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,024
- Me?
- Yeah, you!
163
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,735
Hello! I--
164
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,864
"Stairway to Heaven" is a glorified
fingering exercise, and you all know it!
165
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:33,699
So much passion.
166
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,286
I can't think of the last time
167
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,497
I was able to be here with all you absolutely...
168
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,333
just brilliant members of the press
down here in the pressroom.
169
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,044
So with that in mind, I would love
to take some questions.
170
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,714
Come on, absolutely ask me anything.
171
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:51,383
- Yes.
- Marcus Adebayo, The Independent.
172
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,552
- Hello there, Marcus. How are you?
- Very well.
173
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,012
- Good. Yes?
- Miss Welton,
174
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,557
in your opinion, who's the greatest
classic rock guitarist of all time?
175
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,311
Great question.
176
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:10,068
Thank you. Thank you very much.
177
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,905
Sorry about that.
178
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,115
- "The guy from Cream."
- Yes, all right!
179
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,118
Don't start with me, Leslie! I panicked.
180
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,704
I'm gonna murder Roy Kent.
181
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:24,082
Look, Roy not doing press
is just Roy being Roy.
182
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:27,586
Oh, yes. Well, I am sick of Roy being Roy.
183
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,506
So, it's time for Rebecca to be Rebecca.
184
00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:33,050
Oh, yes. Absolutely. I couldn't--
185
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,511
Yeah. There you go.
186
00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:36,595
Yes!
187
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,851
No, you get back down there.
188
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:46,104
Why? I already did my 20, easily.
189
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,066
Yeah.
We don't start counting until it hurts.
190
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,734
And that goes for all of you!
191
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,361
Oi! Kent!
192
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,031
Get your hairy arse into my office. Now!
193
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,673
Every single one of you
knows my arse isn't hairy.
194
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,259
Yet none of you spoke up.
195
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,305
And I will never forgive you.
196
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:30,357
He's right. We're cowards.
197
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,069
Now, if she was talking
about Richard's butt...
198
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,963
So, are folks still dissecting frogs
in science class these days
199
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,674
or is it all just talking about
the frog's feelings now?
200
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,384
Honestly? Both.
201
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,137
Ms. Ledbetter,
is there anything Henry can be doing
202
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,847
to bring up his grade in your class?
203
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:02,848
Coach, can I--
204
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,392
Yeah, besides helium.
205
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,770
Isaac knows.
206
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,732
That Ted's son is failing science?
207
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,401
Scandal.
208
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:18,030
- How did he react?
- Not good.
209
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,282
He won't talk to me.
210
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,451
Give him a minute.
211
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,620
You shouldn't have to,
but some people need it.
212
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,622
Don't forget, you've known you were gay
for 20 years.
213
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,248
Much longer than that.
214
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,084
Once I was out of my mum,
I never looked back.
215
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,049
But I hear you. Thanks, Trent.
216
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,678
Yeah. Hey, but you know what my favorite
thing was about Sir Isaac Newton?
217
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,430
He was so down to Earth.
218
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,891
Ted, we need to let her go.
219
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:48,227
Yeah, we better go let Ledbetter go.
220
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,439
What the fuck is your problem?
221
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,942
Wait, I know this one. You are!
222
00:12:55,943 --> 00:13:00,781
If I ask you to do a press conference,
do the fucking press conference.
223
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,451
Okay. Shit. I'm sorry.
I didn't realize it was a big deal.
224
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,370
So you just didn't do it?
225
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,623
Is that the plan
for the rest of your life?
226
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,875
You're just gonna walk away
from everything
227
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,253
the second it isn't fun or easy?
228
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,341
What do you want, Roy?
229
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,386
What do you really want?
230
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,721
I just want to be left alone.
231
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:28,809
Oh, bullshit, Roy!
You want way more than that!
232
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:32,271
You're just so convinced that you
don't deserve anything good in your life,
233
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:35,983
that you'd rather eat a bowl of shit soup
and then complain about the portions.
234
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,696
Get out of your own way, man.
235
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,782
'Cause this whole "woe is me" thing
you've got going on
236
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,994
is just fucking ponderous.
237
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,458
Is that all?
238
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:56,503
Yeah, that's it.
239
00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,590
For now.
240
00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:39,213
How we looking for tomorrow?
241
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,965
Yeah. Great.
242
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:45,093
Think we should play without a goalie.
You know, just to give 'em a chance.
243
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,054
I love it when you're cocky.
244
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,018
Baklava.
245
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,311
Oh, yeah. Help y--
246
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,066
- Yeah.
- So lovely to meet Kate.
247
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,069
Jade. It's Jade.
248
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,571
Oh, yes. Of course. Jade. Yeah.
249
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,406
Well, she really enjoyed meeting you.
250
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,243
Nothing better than the love of a woman.
251
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,524
Sitting up there but it's just
a little bit-- We'll get a drink.
252
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,693
Yo. Knock 'em dead, killer.
253
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,280
Well, I hope their kit man remembered
to bring 11 body bags.
254
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,701
Hey, after the match,
let's go for a drink. If you're up for it.
255
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:54,371
Yeah, that'd be great.
Shall I invite Jade?
256
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,166
No, I was thinking it was just
the two of us. You know, a guys' night.
257
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:02,171
Oh, yeah. That'd be lovely. I mean, cool.
258
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,677
Right, let's go blow some bubbles.
259
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:11,638
Across town, West Ham are hoping
to stay top of the table
260
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,182
against Southampton.
261
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:17,102
{\an8}While here at Nelson Road,
the red-hot Greyhounds face Brighton.
262
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,689
Color red tops off
at about 800 centigrade, Arlo.
263
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:25,360
The way Richmond are playing, a more
accurate description would be yellow-hot.
264
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,487
Thank you for correcting me, Chris,
265
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,157
and next time feel free
to wait until we're off air.
266
00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:32,659
What's this?
267
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,329
We're so full we ran out of pint glasses.
268
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:37,748
Bottoms up.
269
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,127
Bringing in the money
270
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:45,214
That tastes better.
271
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,591
The denizens of the Dogtrack have seen
272
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,177
their Greyhounds race up the table
of late.
273
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,804
The air is filled with
an unfamiliar confidence
274
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,932
of another trip to the winners' circle.
275
00:16:54,932 --> 00:16:57,226
- Leslie, did you just text me?
- I did.
276
00:16:57,226 --> 00:16:59,394
- I'm sitting right here.
- I see that now.
277
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:01,980
It's Jack.
278
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:05,275
She's saying that she's in Argentina...
279
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,111
for the next couple of months.
280
00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:09,780
Ouch.
281
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,284
Well, I think our break
is actually an "up."
282
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,248
So now that Jack is officially my ex,
283
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:23,836
please feel free to say any of the things
that you didn't like about her.
284
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,212
Well--
285
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,881
Her handshake was way too firm.
286
00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:29,383
You know--
287
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,844
I get it. You're friendly.
288
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:34,555
Good riddance.
289
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,103
All right, yo. Let's do this, man.
290
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,649
Go get 'em, Captain.
291
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:49,570
Isaac.
292
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:52,906
All right, fellas, here we go.
Focus up, y'all.
293
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,533
Coach, who we got today?
294
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,159
Brighton and Hove Albion.
295
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,537
Brighton, Hove and Albion.
I didn't know we were playing a law firm.
296
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,624
Okay, let's bring it in. Here we go!
297
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,055
Go ahead, Captain. Count us off.
298
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,891
Richmond on C. A, B, C!
299
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,100
Richmond!
300
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:30,527
Brighton have something going here,
until that heavy touch by Cooke.
301
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,445
Oh, no!
302
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:32,821
A thoughtless poke by McAdoo
303
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,282
and a Richmond goal kick
becomes a Brighton corner.
304
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,659
McAdoo lost concentration there.
305
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,995
An uncharacteristic mistake
from the captain.
306
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,207
Well done, McAdoo, you fucking numpty!
307
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,251
Some of the Richmond fans letting
McAdoo have a piece of their minds.
308
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,921
The corner comes in.
309
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,006
And the keeper collects.
310
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,925
Yes, Zoreaux. Yes, good take, man.
311
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,009
It's actually Van Damme.
312
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,970
Van Damme's been
a commanding presence, Chris.
313
00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,182
Just like in the movie
Timecop, where he does the splits twice.
314
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,602
Richmond with possession.
315
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,648
Hughes has the ball.
He's looking for space.
316
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,108
It's not there. He passes back to Maas.
317
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:13,487
No! Cooke steps in, and Brighton are off.
318
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,615
- And just like that...
- Fuck!
319
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,909
- ...Joey Miller puts Brighton up 1-nil.
- Shoot.
320
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:22,746
Oh, for fuck's sake! Fucking hell!
321
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:26,291
Is this the beginning of the end of
Richmond's hot streak?
322
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,794
- What the fuck, bruv?
- What?
323
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:30,671
- Their fucking goal's over there.
- Oh, right, yeah.
324
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,840
Fucking fix up.
Don't fucking walk away from me.
325
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,466
- Relax.
- Their fucking goal's over there.
326
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,343
McAdoo is furious,
327
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,178
- remonstrating with Hughes for his error.
- Wait? What?
328
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,889
- Don't fucking walk away from me!
- Obisanya defuses the situation,
329
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,391
- but McAdoo remains incandescent.
- Fuck!
330
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,643
- We have time. Come on!
- My word.
331
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:48,188
Richmond asking
plenty of questions in the first half
332
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,983
but haven't been able to put anything
into Brighton's net.
333
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:53,861
As we enter one minute of stoppage time,
334
00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:56,530
the Seagulls would be thrilled
to go into the locker room
335
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,323
leading by a goal to nil.
336
00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,533
Any thoughts, Chris?
337
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,326
Seagulls are wretched creatures
338
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:03,745
who'll steal your car keys
right off your beach towel.
339
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:07,749
Richmond's starting to click.
340
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:11,211
This is the crisp ball movement
we've come to expect from them.
341
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,381
This is slick.
One-touch passing around the area.
342
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,966
Rojas is in.
343
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,218
Smothered by Brighton.
344
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,513
And that's the half.
345
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:25,475
Brighton's up 1-nil,
but it's still anyone's game.
346
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:30,898
Same old Richmond. Still a shit show.
347
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,484
You're absolutely rubbish!
348
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:39,448
Stop passing the ball around
and bloody do something!
349
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,202
You're a disgrace to the badge!
350
00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,913
You're all playing like
a bunch of fucking fa--
351
00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:50,292
- What the fuck did you say to me?
- What?
352
00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:52,669
What did you fucking say to me?
353
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:57,090
Isaac McAdoo has jumped the wall
and charged into the seats.
354
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,300
This is unbelievable.
355
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,259
Oh, my God.
356
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,136
- I dare you to fucking say it again!
- He appears to be
357
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,847
in a confrontation with one of
the Richmond supporters.
358
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,390
Thataway, McAdoo. Get him.
359
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,601
Hang on. He's one of ours.
360
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:08,852
Say that word again!
361
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,437
You leave it!
362
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,023
- Say that fucking word again!
- Isaac!
363
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,316
Number five!
364
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:15,943
Fuck's sake.
365
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111
The captain, man.
366
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:21,532
It's an obvious red card.
McAdoo clearly has to go.
367
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,410
Roy Kent as the voice of reason.
What a world.
368
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,912
Fuck's sakes.
369
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:28,455
Good lad. Oi!
370
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:30,874
Get him the fuck out of here!
371
00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,084
What?
372
00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:35,963
After all hell broke loose,
halftime finally gets underway,
373
00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:38,549
and the Greyhounds have much to discuss.
374
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,588
All right, no one's gonna say nothing?
Sure, no, I'll kick it off.
375
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:18,672
Isaac, what the hell happened?
376
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,593
One of our fans said some ignorant shit!
377
00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:26,847
Okay, what'd they say?
378
00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,436
- I heard it.
- Okay.
379
00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:33,896
He said the f-word.
380
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,316
- Fuck?
- No, the other f-word.
381
00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:39,693
Oh, fuck.
382
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,366
If it helps, the fan has been removed.
383
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:49,578
And I apologize for my dad.
384
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:53,624
Sorry, not the time for jokes.
385
00:22:53,624 --> 00:22:55,000
Read the room, Leslie.
386
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:57,753
Okay, I get it. I...
387
00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:02,382
Isaac, look. What that guy said?
Inexcusable. All right?
388
00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:05,135
But, man,
389
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:09,223
your reaction to it ain't gonna be taught
in any Tibetan monasteries anytime soon.
390
00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:10,140
You know what I'm saying?
391
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,683
Yeah, now we're one man down.
392
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,561
Yeah, Isaac, come on, man.
It's nothing we haven't heard before.
393
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:20,192
Exactly. It's just poopy. Ignore it, man.
394
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,902
Ignore it?
395
00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:24,321
I don't want to fucking ignore it.
396
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,033
What if one of us is gay?
397
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:33,747
We shouldn't have to deal with this shit!
398
00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:48,345
All right.
399
00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:51,348
- I got it.
- Yeah.
400
00:23:57,604 --> 00:23:58,939
You think I should have it?
401
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:12,619
No, get out, Roy.
I don't need you to come in here.
402
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,413
Just leave me alone. Just fuck off, yeah?
403
00:24:14,413 --> 00:24:16,790
I fucked it up. Just fucking fuck off.
Just leave me alone.
404
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,458
I don't need you to start yelling at me.
405
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,252
I'm not here to yell at you.
406
00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:29,928
What the fuck was that all about?
407
00:24:29,928 --> 00:24:31,180
I don't know.
408
00:24:34,016 --> 00:24:35,517
Colin, do you know?
409
00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,104
Guys, it's pretty obvious.
410
00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:40,731
Isaac's gay, right?
411
00:24:42,816 --> 00:24:46,403
Well, statistically speaking,
10% of the population is homosexual.
412
00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:47,988
So it's not that surprising.
413
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:52,451
So there are probably more people
in this room who are gay.
414
00:25:03,921 --> 00:25:05,130
I'm flattered.
415
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,927
Guys, we don't need to
discuss this any further, okay?
416
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:11,929
All Isaac needs now is our support.
417
00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:14,973
Yeah. That's our captain.
418
00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:19,102
All right, fellas,
let's focus on the second half.
419
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,230
- Now, what we got--
- Hold on.
420
00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:23,857
Isaac's not gay.
421
00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,862
I don't know what happened out there,
422
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:36,787
but I do know whatever it was
isn't what you're really angry about.
423
00:25:38,914 --> 00:25:39,915
Is it?
424
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,716
So then trust me.
425
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,637
You got to go deal with that...
426
00:25:56,473 --> 00:26:00,018
or you're gonna fuck up
whatever it is you actually do care about.
427
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:06,817
He's right, you know.
428
00:26:11,947 --> 00:26:15,534
The little things we get mad about
are like snowflakes on a mountain.
429
00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,830
And if we wait too long,
then we're just one sneeze away
430
00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,457
from an avalanche that will kill us all.
431
00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:26,712
Thank you, Will.
432
00:26:32,009 --> 00:26:33,510
- You want some bubble gum?
- Don't push it.
433
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:45,772
So, we cool?
434
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:46,940
Of course.
435
00:26:47,816 --> 00:26:51,987
- Yeah.
- Of course. It's cool.
436
00:26:51,987 --> 00:26:54,865
- Yeah. Yes, amigo.
- A thousand percent.
437
00:26:54,865 --> 00:26:57,743
You're gay, big whoop. But we don't care.
Right, guys?
438
00:26:57,743 --> 00:27:01,163
- Yeah.
- All good, bro.
439
00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:03,248
Now, hold on, actually.
440
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:07,294
Colin, we do care, you know.
441
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:11,423
When I was growing up back in Kansas City,
I had a buddy named Stevey Jewell.
442
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:14,051
Now, he was a huge Denver Broncos fan.
443
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:17,930
But we were all growing up smack dab
in the middle of Chiefs country.
444
00:27:17,930 --> 00:27:20,224
So he used to catch a lot of guff for it,
you know?
445
00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:25,479
But me? Me, I told him it didn't affect
the way I felt about him at all, you know?
446
00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:28,023
I told him that I "didn't care."
447
00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:30,150
And I didn't, you know.
448
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,530
But then in 19s-- what, '97, '98,
449
00:27:35,322 --> 00:27:39,117
he had to watch back-to-back Super Bowls
with the Denver Broncos in 'em
450
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,202
all by himself.
451
00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:47,668
First one,
he ate an entire seven-layer dip
452
00:27:47,668 --> 00:27:50,379
from Price Chopper all by himself.
453
00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:53,131
Big ol' thing.
And it just wrecked his stomach.
454
00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:55,384
Apparently, he destroyed the toilet
in his parents' basement.
455
00:27:55,384 --> 00:27:57,511
I remember the rumor at the time being
456
00:27:57,511 --> 00:27:59,805
that he caused $9,000 worth of damage.
457
00:28:00,848 --> 00:28:03,016
Could you imagine? To a toilet.
9,000 bucks.
458
00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:06,353
The next year,
he did the exact same thing.
459
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,689
All by himself.
460
00:28:08,689 --> 00:28:11,483
He must have thought it was good luck
or something. I don't know.
461
00:28:11,483 --> 00:28:13,819
'Cause I wasn't there.
'Cause I "didn't care."
462
00:28:15,863 --> 00:28:17,990
But I should've cared. You know?
463
00:28:20,117 --> 00:28:21,410
I should've supported him.
464
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:27,791
I should've been at his house
both them years.
465
00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:32,337
Sharing that seven-layer dip
with my friend
466
00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:37,634
while his garbage-ass team wins
back-to-back Super Bowls.
467
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,559
Coach, did you just compare being gay
to being a Denver Broncos fan?
468
00:28:46,977 --> 00:28:49,354
You know what? I did, and I regret it.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
469
00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:52,733
What the fuck are Denver Broncos?
470
00:28:52,733 --> 00:28:54,818
- No, that's a very good question.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
471
00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:57,613
It's an American football reference,
an absolute fumble in this situation.
472
00:28:57,613 --> 00:28:58,989
I apologize. Yeah. Okay.
473
00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:00,949
But the point is, Colin...
474
00:29:04,453 --> 00:29:06,330
we don't not care.
475
00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:08,707
We care very much.
476
00:29:09,499 --> 00:29:13,587
We care about who you are
and what you must've been going through.
477
00:29:14,838 --> 00:29:15,839
Yeah?
478
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:18,258
But hey, from now on,
479
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:22,554
you don't have to go through it
all by yourself.
480
00:29:23,430 --> 00:29:24,431
All right?
481
00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:27,809
Yeah. You hear that? You got us, mate.
We got you.
482
00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:31,647
Okay, well, look. Hey. I hate to
bring up work in a moment like this,
483
00:29:31,647 --> 00:29:33,857
but we do have
a second half of a match to play.
484
00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:35,025
Coach, what we got?
485
00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:37,903
Playing a man down.
What do we do differently?
486
00:29:37,903 --> 00:29:39,655
Absolutely nothing!
487
00:29:39,655 --> 00:29:41,740
Let's go, baby.
488
00:29:44,618 --> 00:29:45,869
Let's go.
489
00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:48,539
Okay, all right. Captain, count us off.
490
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:54,169
Wow. That's me, yes. Okay.
491
00:29:55,712 --> 00:29:57,381
I don't know what to say.
492
00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:00,843
I'm honored to be your captain.
493
00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:03,387
And, you know,
I love you guys so very much.
494
00:30:03,387 --> 00:30:05,097
On three. One, two, three.
495
00:30:05,097 --> 00:30:06,849
I love you guys so very much!
496
00:30:19,653 --> 00:30:21,697
Better or worse than you imagined?
497
00:30:22,281 --> 00:30:24,157
Second-best way it could've gone, I think.
498
00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:27,870
Best way being the entire team confesses
that they're gay too,
499
00:30:27,870 --> 00:30:29,788
and we get to be on the cover
of Oprah's magazine.
500
00:31:04,281 --> 00:31:05,574
Cracking match, Coach.
501
00:31:06,158 --> 00:31:07,743
Yeah. Thank you, Roger.
502
00:31:08,327 --> 00:31:11,246
Hey, a few of us are getting a pint.
Care to join us?
503
00:31:11,246 --> 00:31:14,833
Sounds good but I'm actually going
for a drink with Rupert tonight.
504
00:31:15,334 --> 00:31:16,543
Just the two of us, so...
505
00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:17,920
Are you in trouble?
506
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,548
Wh-- No. It's just like guys' night, so...
507
00:31:21,548 --> 00:31:23,842
Cool. Maybe next time?
508
00:31:23,842 --> 00:31:24,927
Yeah.
509
00:31:34,603 --> 00:31:36,688
- Yes!
- Yes!
510
00:31:36,688 --> 00:31:38,398
- And Richmond have done it.
- Yes!
511
00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:39,942
- How about that?
- Well done, sir.
512
00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:42,110
They complete the comeback
for a thrilling two-one win...
513
00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:44,613
- I love you so much, man.
- ...behind an inspirational turn
514
00:31:44,613 --> 00:31:45,906
from Colin Hughes.
515
00:31:45,906 --> 00:31:47,574
- Come on!
- Assisting both goals...
516
00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:48,492
Yeah!
517
00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:50,118
...in a man-of-the-match performance.
518
00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:52,120
Wow, Hughes was sensational, Arlo.
519
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,331
- After being benched earlier this season...
520
00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:56,542
- AFC Richmond!
- ...back in the starting lineup,
521
00:31:56,542 --> 00:31:58,919
and today, the Welshman played
like a man reborn.
522
00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:05,926
A goal down, a man down,
523
00:32:05,926 --> 00:32:08,512
the Greyhounds scored twice
in the second half.
524
00:32:08,512 --> 00:32:11,515
Both assisted by an inspired Colin Hughes.
525
00:32:11,515 --> 00:32:17,396
{\an8}But the real fireworks were at halftime
when Richmond's captain, Isaac McAdoo,
526
00:32:17,396 --> 00:32:21,441
went into the stands
to attack one of their own fans.
527
00:32:21,942 --> 00:32:24,611
In fairness, I wanted to do that
a few times myself, Jeff.
528
00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:27,614
{\an8}Yeah, but you didn't, Clinton, 'cause
you're not a psychopath like McAdoo.
529
00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:30,576
{\an8}- Now, George, you don't know what--
- Oh, no-- Jeff. Jeff, come on.
530
00:32:30,576 --> 00:32:33,954
You do not go into the stands.
I don't care what was said.
531
00:32:33,954 --> 00:32:36,999
That is a line you do not cross.
532
00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:40,252
And that's why McAdoo wasn't captain
when I was there.
533
00:32:40,252 --> 00:32:41,712
'Cause he's not fit for it.
534
00:32:41,712 --> 00:32:44,590
I mean, come on.
He makes Roy Kent look like Bambi.
535
00:32:45,174 --> 00:32:46,842
He's an idiot, isn't he? Come on.
536
00:32:46,842 --> 00:32:48,468
- McAdoo doing that.
- Yes.
537
00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:50,554
- What was he thinking?
- He's in big trouble.
538
00:32:50,554 --> 00:32:52,306
Guy probably deserved it though, right?
539
00:32:52,306 --> 00:32:53,640
- Absolutely.
- No doubt.
540
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,767
I hope his kids shiv him in his sleep.
541
00:32:56,894 --> 00:32:58,645
What? He used to come in here.
542
00:32:58,645 --> 00:33:00,772
He was a dick to my niece, Claire, once.
543
00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:02,316
- No way.
- Not Claire.
544
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,942
Fucking prick!
545
00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:05,402
Moving over to east London,
546
00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:08,739
the Wonder Kid's West Ham
took care of business at home.
547
00:33:14,244 --> 00:33:17,080
And then he came in after me.
548
00:33:18,624 --> 00:33:20,125
Hey, Rupert.
549
00:33:20,125 --> 00:33:22,002
- You all right?
- Hey, Nathan.
550
00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:26,423
Let me introduce Kelsie and Libby.
551
00:33:26,423 --> 00:33:27,883
No. The other way around.
552
00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:29,218
The other way.
553
00:33:30,844 --> 00:33:32,387
Well, I'm still Rupert.
554
00:33:33,055 --> 00:33:36,350
And this is Nathan Shelley,
the Wonder Kid.
555
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:37,893
Hey, you all right?
556
00:33:38,519 --> 00:33:39,520
- Hi.
- Hey.
557
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,523
So, the girls will be joining us tonight.
558
00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:43,607
Shall we?
559
00:33:47,945 --> 00:33:49,321
Yum, yum, yum.
560
00:33:49,947 --> 00:33:51,782
Thought it was a guys' night, Rupert.
561
00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:56,286
Well, yes. Trust me, it is.
562
00:33:57,371 --> 00:34:01,124
Oscar. We're off to the private room.
563
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:07,005
Couple of bottles of champagne, please.
564
00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:12,928
Actually, Rupert.
565
00:34:14,972 --> 00:34:16,681
I'm so sorry, I need to leave.
566
00:34:18,766 --> 00:34:21,395
Long story.
I wanted to come and tell you in person.
567
00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:37,870
Congratulations, Ted.
That's eight wins in a row.
568
00:34:37,870 --> 00:34:38,954
Come on now, Trent.
569
00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:40,831
You know I don't care
about winning or losing.
570
00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:45,085
No, the truth is,
only way I could be happier
571
00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:47,754
is if my arm-feet were covered
in barbecue sauce.
572
00:34:48,255 --> 00:34:50,340
How you feeling about the win streak, Roy?
573
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:54,386
No way.
Do not come near me with that shit.
574
00:34:54,386 --> 00:34:56,346
You never talk about a streak.
575
00:34:56,972 --> 00:34:59,892
My grandparents were happily married
for 51 years
576
00:34:59,892 --> 00:35:02,853
'cause they never said a fucking word
to each other. Scram.
577
00:35:03,604 --> 00:35:06,064
Well done, gentlemen. Congrats.
578
00:35:08,317 --> 00:35:09,318
Another one.
579
00:35:09,318 --> 00:35:12,988
Oh, boy. Higgins hitting us
with his DJ Khaled impression. Nice.
580
00:35:12,988 --> 00:35:13,947
Who?
581
00:35:13,947 --> 00:35:16,200
- Parallel thinking.
- Apparently so.
582
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,702
The press is ready for you, Ted.
It's a big one.
583
00:35:19,286 --> 00:35:21,205
That's what that lady
from the American Office said.
584
00:35:21,205 --> 00:35:23,165
Okay, I'll be right there.
585
00:35:23,165 --> 00:35:24,499
Okay.
586
00:35:31,590 --> 00:35:33,800
- He's on his way.
- Thank you, Leslie.
587
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,261
You gave Ted some talking points?
588
00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:39,264
No. I haven't done that in a long time.
589
00:35:40,599 --> 00:35:41,808
Oh, God.
590
00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:01,828
{\an8}Yeah. All right. You got me today.
591
00:36:03,247 --> 00:36:04,373
Any questions?
592
00:36:06,416 --> 00:36:07,501
Fucking hell.
593
00:36:09,253 --> 00:36:10,796
You. Five-o'clock-shadow head.
594
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:16,593
Coach Kent, do you or the organization
condone what Isaac McAdoo did today?
595
00:36:16,593 --> 00:36:18,345
What a stupid fucking question.
596
00:36:19,763 --> 00:36:21,139
Course we don't.
597
00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:24,643
What Isaac did was awful.
He was lucky he only got a red card.
598
00:36:24,643 --> 00:36:26,353
Okay. So why'd he do it?
599
00:36:43,412 --> 00:36:46,039
When I was first coming up
through Sunderland,
600
00:36:46,540 --> 00:36:49,334
there was an old-timer on the team.
Local guy.
601
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,462
He and his wife were about to have
their first kid,
602
00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:54,298
so during training one day,
603
00:36:54,923 --> 00:36:58,760
I made a joke that, statistically,
I was probably the real dad.
604
00:36:59,845 --> 00:37:04,558
And the boys fell about laughing,
but he went fucking nuts.
605
00:37:04,558 --> 00:37:07,895
He battered me. Properly.
606
00:37:07,895 --> 00:37:11,607
I had a black eye, chipped tooth,
three broken ribs.
607
00:37:12,357 --> 00:37:14,067
I couldn't play for six games.
608
00:37:14,818 --> 00:37:16,320
He got booted off the team.
609
00:37:17,613 --> 00:37:21,074
After that, no club would go near him.
610
00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:24,912
Then in the summer,
after I could breathe again,
611
00:37:25,537 --> 00:37:27,080
I bumped into him in a pub.
612
00:37:27,873 --> 00:37:31,210
And I got the chance to say sorry
for my stupid fucking joke.
613
00:37:34,421 --> 00:37:36,089
And he got to tell me...
614
00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:40,260
he and his wife had lost the baby...
615
00:37:41,094 --> 00:37:43,263
a month before all that went down.
616
00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:49,853
He hadn't told anyone. Kept it all inside.
617
00:37:56,568 --> 00:38:00,656
{\an8}Look, I get that some people think
if they buy a ticket,
618
00:38:01,156 --> 00:38:05,577
{\an8}they've got the right to yell whatever
abusive shit they want at footballers.
619
00:38:06,703 --> 00:38:10,832
{\an8}But they're not just footballers.
They're also people.
620
00:38:12,709 --> 00:38:17,798
And none of us know
what is going on in each other's lives.
621
00:38:20,884 --> 00:38:24,888
{\an8}So for Isaac to do what he did today,
622
00:38:25,806 --> 00:38:27,099
{\an8}even though it was wrong...
623
00:38:29,810 --> 00:38:31,061
{\an8}I give him love.
624
00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,568
{\an8}And as for why he did what he did...
625
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:43,740
that's none of my fucking business.
626
00:38:47,619 --> 00:38:49,121
Next question.
627
00:38:50,122 --> 00:38:51,331
Yeah, New Trent.
628
00:38:52,499 --> 00:38:54,126
Coach, let's talk about Colin Hughes.
629
00:38:54,877 --> 00:38:57,212
Yeah, he's a hell of a player
and a great man.
630
00:38:58,130 --> 00:38:59,423
I think we've underused him.
631
00:38:59,423 --> 00:39:01,300
- I think you're right.
- Glad we agree.
632
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,218
I prefer you to Old Trent.
633
00:39:03,927 --> 00:39:05,137
Next question.
634
00:39:11,518 --> 00:39:13,312
You. Goblin King, go.
635
00:39:33,373 --> 00:39:34,249
Hey.
636
00:39:35,334 --> 00:39:36,335
Hey.
637
00:39:36,919 --> 00:39:38,378
What happened to guys' night?
638
00:40:09,993 --> 00:40:10,994
Hey.
639
00:40:15,499 --> 00:40:16,875
You lied to me.
640
00:40:19,336 --> 00:40:20,337
For years.
641
00:40:24,132 --> 00:40:27,886
What is it about me
that made you think you couldn't tell me?
642
00:40:29,888 --> 00:40:31,974
No, it was nothing to do with you.
643
00:40:32,975 --> 00:40:34,268
It was about me.
644
00:40:36,562 --> 00:40:39,231
I was 99% sure that you'd support me.
645
00:40:39,815 --> 00:40:44,736
But the 1% chance that you wouldn't
scared the shit out of me.
646
00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:54,580
I don't know how you did it.
I can't keep a secret for shit.
647
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:57,207
I know. Another reason I didn't tell you.
648
00:40:57,791 --> 00:41:00,043
I mean, I hid it from people for years,
649
00:41:00,586 --> 00:41:03,630
and the second you find out,
I didn't last a month.
650
00:41:09,970 --> 00:41:11,180
I'm sorry, bruv.
651
00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:15,934
You gonna tell everyone now?
652
00:41:19,229 --> 00:41:20,230
No.
653
00:41:21,231 --> 00:41:23,984
The team knows. And that's enough for me.
654
00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:26,528
And no one's gonna say shit.
655
00:41:29,781 --> 00:41:30,782
I promise.
656
00:41:37,039 --> 00:41:38,165
Wanna come in?
657
00:41:44,463 --> 00:41:45,464
Yeah, all right.
658
00:41:46,507 --> 00:41:47,341
Come on.
659
00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:05,484
Is "top or bottom"
sex positions or sleeping arrangements?
660
00:42:05,984 --> 00:42:07,277
Sexual positions.
661
00:42:07,277 --> 00:42:09,154
Unless bunk beds are involved.
Then it's both.
662
00:42:09,821 --> 00:42:11,240
Would you ever shag a woman?
663
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,616
No, I'm gay.
664
00:42:12,616 --> 00:42:14,701
I know, but what if you had to?
665
00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:18,247
- 1967 Raquel Welch.
- My man.
666
00:42:19,331 --> 00:42:22,918
- Who's the fittest guy on the team?
- I won't tell you, and you'd never guess.
667
00:42:24,086 --> 00:42:25,879
- Bumbercatch.
- Yes.
668
00:42:27,422 --> 00:42:29,299
What about team showers?
How does that work?
669
00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:31,927
I keep my head down,
and I think of global warming.
670
00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:34,930
Yeah, well, if I had to shower
with a bunch of girls all the time,
671
00:42:34,930 --> 00:42:36,431
I'd defo get boners.
672
00:42:39,810 --> 00:42:40,811
I love you, boyo.
673
00:42:44,106 --> 00:42:45,524
You can't say it, can you?
674
00:42:47,568 --> 00:42:48,569
No.
675
00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:50,904
But you know I do, yeah?