1 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,374 [players shouting] 2 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,376 [crowd cheering] 3 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,629 You know, I didn't wanna say it at the time 4 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,466 'cause I'm trying to be less stuck in my fucking ways... 5 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,051 But? 6 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,888 But I thought it was nuts to change our entire philosophy 7 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,348 and style of play mid-season. 8 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,432 But? 9 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,102 But it's fucking great. 10 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,980 You know, they're having fun, we're having fun, 11 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,982 these folks are having fun. It's a whole bunch of fun. 12 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,820 I haven't seen 22 dudes have this good a time on grass 13 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,990 since I saw the Grateful Dead jamming with the Black Crowes and Phish. 14 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,575 Ooh. I bet that was a tight show. 15 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,327 Oh, it was a mess. But they had fun. 16 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,371 [players shouting indistinctly] 17 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:22,958 - [player] Beautiful! - [Jamie] Shoot! 18 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,334 [grunts] 19 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,961 [cheering] 20 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,713 Whoo! 21 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:31,008 - Yeah! Yeah! - [laughing] 22 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,261 Whistle! Whistle! 23 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,846 That's half. Great job. 24 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,974 Whoo! You hear that? Roy said y'all did a great job. 25 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,517 - [yelps] - [chuckles] 26 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,312 - [players laughing, cheering] - [Isaac] Whoo! 27 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,230 Nice shot, mate. 28 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,154 [sighs] 29 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,239 [players chattering] 30 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,534 [sniffs, sighs] Ay, Chihuahua. 31 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,078 I can't remember which pair is clean and which one is dirty. 32 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,122 You bundle your dirty socks? 33 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,834 Just because they're dirty doesn't mean they don't deserve to have a friend. 34 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,794 He's right. After all, we're all mates with Richard. 35 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:11,131 [players laughing] 36 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,800 Ha! [chuckles] 37 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,261 [Jan chuckling] 38 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014 [Colin] Hey, boyo. 39 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,685 Do you wanna get a beer or something later? Have a chat? 40 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,063 No. 41 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,449 [sniffing] 42 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,787 Ay, no. I chose the dirty socks. 43 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:44,873 Oops. [chuckles] 44 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,214 {\an8}[theme music plays] 45 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,445 So, have you heard from Jack yet? 46 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,533 {\an8}You know how you're never ever supposed to write another text 47 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,076 {\an8}to an unanswered text? 48 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,244 {\an8}[scoffs] Of course. 49 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,080 Oh, God. You sent a double text. 50 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,799 [gasps] So much blue. 51 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,342 I know. [sighs] 52 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,220 It's like I got diarrhea of the thumbs or something. 53 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,556 {\an8}- Oh, come here. [chuckles] - [grunts] 54 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,224 {\an8}- [knocking] - Uh-oh. 55 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,226 {\an8}When girl talk turns into girl hug, 56 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,437 {\an8}you know that either means something horrible's happened 57 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,855 {\an8}or absolutely nothing at all. 58 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,440 Jack's ghosting Keeley. 59 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,400 - [clicks tongue] Oh, no. - Hmm. 60 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,695 First, she wants to go on a break, and now the old digital Irish goodbye. 61 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,863 {\an8}Mm-mmm-mmm. 62 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,656 {\an8}Which is a term I never really understood. 63 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,117 {\an8}'Cause I got a buddy back home named Seamus O'Malley, 64 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,620 {\an8}and that son of a gun hugs folks goodbye for, like, 20 minutes 65 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,621 {\an8}before he leaves anywhere. 66 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,581 {\an8}- Mmm. - [Ted] Yeah, sorry to hear about that. 67 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,626 {\an8}Hey, I did make you some biscuits, you know, just to soften the blow. 68 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,835 {\an8}Oh, thanks, Ted. 69 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,086 {\an8}Thank you. 70 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,130 {\an8}What? [gasps] There's like 40 quid in here. 71 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,050 {\an8}I didn't know you were gonna be here till this morning. 72 00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,886 {\an8}No time to do anything special, so I just tossed a little cash in there. 73 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,013 {\an8}That is very sweet. Thank you, Ted. 74 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431 {\an8}Ain't nothing to it but to do it. 75 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,100 {\an8}Hey, boss. You mind if I skip the press conference today? 76 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,394 {\an8}Michelle and I got these parent-teacher meetings I don't wanna miss. 77 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,688 Of course, Ted. Family first. 78 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,648 I appreciate it. 79 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,400 Ooh, we could have Roy do it. 80 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,487 {\an8}I know he hates that stuff, but he is really good at it. 81 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,614 {\an8}I mean, you know, fine by me. 82 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,698 {\an8}Great idea. 83 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:45,077 {\an8}Look at you. Heartbroken, but still kicking butt. [chuckles] 84 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,621 {\an8}I mean, I'm not heartbroken. It's more like heart-bent. 85 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,957 {\an8}Ooh, heart-bent. I like that. 86 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,417 {\an8}It's a great title for a country song. You know, like... 87 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,671 I'm heart-bent in my apartment ♪ 88 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,799 ♪ 'Cause all that you left Was your fart scent ♪ 89 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,008 - All right. Goodbye, Ted. - [chuckles] 90 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,760 {\an8}- And now that you're gone ♪ - [Rebecca scoffs] 91 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,930 {\an8}♪ I wrote this song 'Cause all you left was ♪ 92 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,849 {\an8} The smell of your farts ♪ 93 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,183 {\an8}- [employee] Coach Kent. - Hey. 94 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,728 {\an8}[Keeley chuckles] 95 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,397 {\an8}Oh, speak of the devil. 96 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,358 - Okay. - [Keeley] Mmm. 97 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,735 - Keeley. - Roy. 98 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,154 {\an8}So, uh, I need you to fill in for Ted 99 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,990 {\an8}at today's press conference, if that's okay. 100 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,324 Fuck no. 101 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,788 I mean, why can't Ted do it? 102 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,045 I mean, I'd love to. 103 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,130 Wonderful. 104 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:39,882 - Shall we? - Mmm. 105 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,595 Fuck. 106 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:45,637 I heard that. 107 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,571 [Jade] Delivery for Mr. Shelby. 108 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,572 It's Shelley. 109 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,700 Oh, my-- I'm so sorry. 110 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,744 {\an8}Hey, what are you doing here? 111 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,662 I brought you lunch. Figured we'd have it here. 112 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,331 I'm surprised Derek gave you the time off. 113 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,582 {\an8}He said it was fine. 114 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,126 {\an8}As long as I brought him back something with a West Ham logo on it. 115 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,086 Well, I can do that. [laughs] 116 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,714 Um. Um, how about-- 117 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,674 {\an8}Oh, there you go. Mouse pad. 118 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,844 {\an8}Uh... [straining] ...and he can have a scarf. 119 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,804 - Ooh. [laughing] So sorry. There you go. - [chuckles] 120 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,849 Um, the-- And there. That's the, uh-- the official, um, pro-- 121 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,478 And actually, uh, you know-- Just don't have that. 122 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,021 I only need one. 123 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,149 {\an8}Oh. Well, you know, just keep them for next time. [chuckles] 124 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,989 Oh, dang. 125 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,825 You got to his afternoon kiss before I did. 126 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,661 Rupert, hello. Um... 127 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:53,247 Okay. So, Jade, uh, this is Rupert, my boss. 128 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,583 And, Rupert, this is Jade, my girlfriend. 129 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,168 Well, hello there. 130 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,088 - Hello. [chuckles] - It's worthwhile to meet you. 131 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,133 Jade. What a beautiful name. 132 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,136 Thank you. It's actually short for Jaded. 133 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,055 My mother named me after her favorite aunt. 134 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,306 But I don't care. 135 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:18,021 Hold on. I-I like to consider myself a bit of a-- an amateur dialectologist. 136 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:22,109 You are from the south of Poland, right? 137 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,611 - [chuckles] - Yes, I'm from Nowy Sącz. 138 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,239 Oh, would you look at that smile. 139 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,118 Yeah, Jade, if this young man wasn't so brilliant, 140 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,287 I'd say that you are out of his league. 141 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,371 [chuckles] 142 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,250 Mmm. What's that smell? 143 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,836 Oh. Um, Jade, uh, surprised me with lunch. 144 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,213 It's from the Taste of Athens. It's my favorite place. 145 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,381 Ah. 146 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,549 I'm a hostess there. 147 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,344 Which is why it's his favorite place, I would say. 148 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,596 - [chuckles] - [Rupert] Yeah. 149 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,639 Well, wonderful to meet you, Jade. 150 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,308 [Nathan chuckles] 151 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,517 And, Nate, mate, 152 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,729 don't screw this up. 153 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,107 No. [chuckles] 154 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,401 Bye, Rupert. [chuckles] 155 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:08,071 He seems very wealthy. But also nice-like. 156 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,158 Yeah, no, he is. He's-- [stammers] He's actually really decent. 157 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,242 Mmm. 158 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,828 Uh, I owe him a lot. So-- [chuckles] 159 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,872 [sighs] Right. 160 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,208 It's so kind of you doing this, you know. 161 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,176 Pardon the interruption, Rebecca. 162 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:33,013 Um, did you know that Ted wasn't doing his press conference today? 163 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,765 Uh, yes. I asked Roy to fill in. 164 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,059 Ah. That explains it. 165 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,477 Is there a problem? 166 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,562 Um... 167 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,731 That is not what I said, Gary! 168 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,399 I have your quote right here! 169 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,651 You did say it, Coach. 170 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,070 - [Coach Beard] Stay out of this, Lloyd! - [Sarah] Don't shout at Lloyd. 171 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,197 You said, and I quote, 172 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,408 "Joe Walsh is a better guitarist than Jimmy Page." 173 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,202 - That's what you said. - [reporters clamoring] 174 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,955 {\an8}Fine! I said it! 175 00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,874 {\an8}But what I meant was that Joe Walsh, underrated. 176 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,960 {\an8}Jimmy Page, overrated! 177 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,629 {\an8}- [reporters clamoring] - I mean, Joe Walsh is a poet. 178 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:09,091 {\an8}Jimmy Page is... [stammers] ...a fucking court stenographer on Adderall. 179 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:10,300 [reporters clamoring] 180 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:15,055 Are you out of your mind? Page could beat Walsh with one string. 181 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,516 What do you mean beat him? It's not a competition, man! 182 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,101 It's art, you fucking Neanderthal! 183 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:21,061 [clamoring continues] 184 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,521 - [Higgins] Okay. - Hello! 185 00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,857 - Okay, okay. I think this is over. Yeah. - You're suspect! 186 00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,024 - Me? - Yeah, you! 187 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,735 Hello! Hello! I-- 188 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,864 "Stairway to Heaven" is a glorified fingering exercise, and you all know it! 189 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,699 [chuckles] So much passion. 190 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,286 I-- I can't think of the last time 191 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,497 I was able to be here with all you absolutely... [stammers] 192 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,333 ...just brilliant members of the press down here in the pressroom. 193 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,044 So with that in mind, I would love to take some questions. 194 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,714 Come on, absolutely ask me anything. 195 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:51,383 - Yes, yes. - Uh, Marcus Adebayo, The Independent. 196 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,552 - Hello there, Marcus. How are you? - Very well. 197 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,012 - Good, good. Yes? - Miss Welton, 198 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,557 in your opinion, who's the greatest classic rock guitarist of all time? 199 00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:00,684 [reporters murmuring] 200 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,311 [exhales sharply] Great question. 201 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:03,395 Ooh. 202 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,523 Uh... [stammers] 203 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,111 - Thank you. Thank you very much. - [reporters clamoring] 204 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,613 [shudders] Sorry about that. 205 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,115 - [chuckles] "The guy from Cream." - Yes, all right! 206 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,118 Don't start with me, Leslie! I-- [inhales deeply] I panicked. 207 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,704 [breathes heavily] I'm gonna murder Roy Kent. 208 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:24,082 Oh, look, Roy not doing press is just Roy being Roy. 209 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:27,586 Oh, yes. Well, I am sick of Roy being Roy. 210 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,004 Mmm. Mmm. 211 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,506 So, it's time for Rebecca to be Rebecca. 212 00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:33,050 Oh, yes. Absolutely. I couldn't-- 213 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,511 Ooh. Yeah. There you go. 214 00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:38,639 Yes! Ooh! [imitates explosion] 215 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,851 No, you get back down there. 216 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:46,104 Why? I already did my 20, easily. 217 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,066 Yeah. We don't start counting until it hurts. 218 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,734 And that goes for all of you! 219 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,361 Oi! Kent! 220 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,031 Get your hairy arse into my office. Now! 221 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,034 - [players murmuring, chuckling] - [door closes] 222 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,830 [players chuckling, whistling] Ooh! 223 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,673 Every single one of you knows my arse isn't hairy. 224 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,259 Yet none of you spoke up. 225 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,305 And I will never forgive you. 226 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,187 [door closes] 227 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,357 He's right. We're cowards. 228 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,069 Now, if she was talking about Richard's butt... 229 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,279 [players clamoring] 230 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,739 [mumbling, blowing kisses] 231 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,367 [speaking French] 232 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,539 [players chattering, laughing] 233 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,963 So, are folks still dissecting frogs in science class these days 234 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,674 or is it all just talking about the frog's feelings now? 235 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,384 [teacher] Honestly? Both. 236 00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,137 [Michelle] Ms. Ledbetter, is there anything Henry can be doing 237 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,847 to bring up his grade in your class? 238 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:02,848 Coach, can I-- 239 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,976 - Yeah, besides helium. - [Ms. Ledbetter chuckles] 240 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,770 Isaac knows. 241 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,732 That Ted's son is failing science? 242 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,401 Scandal. 243 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:18,030 - How did he react? - Not good. 244 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,282 He won't talk to me. 245 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,451 Give him a minute. 246 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,620 You shouldn't have to, but some people need it. 247 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,622 Don't forget, you've known you were gay for 20 years. 248 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,248 Much longer than that. 249 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,084 Once I was out of my mum, I never looked back. 250 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:32,920 [swallows] 251 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:37,049 [sighing] But I hear you. Thanks, Trent. 252 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:38,300 Mmm. 253 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,678 Yeah. Hey, but you know what my favorite thing was about Sir Isaac Newton? 254 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,430 He was so down to Earth. [chuckles] 255 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,891 - [Ms. Ledbetter chuckles] - [Michelle] Ted, we need to let her go. 256 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:48,644 - Yeah, we better go let Ledbetter go. - [Ms. Ledbetter chuckles] 257 00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,439 What the fuck is your problem? 258 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,942 Oh, wait, I know this one. You are! 259 00:12:55,943 --> 00:13:00,781 If I ask you to do a press conference, do the fucking press conference. 260 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,451 Okay. Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was a big deal. 261 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,370 So you just didn't do it? 262 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,623 Is that the plan for the rest of your life? 263 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,875 You're just gonna walk away from everything 264 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,253 the second it isn't fun or easy? 265 00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:16,171 [sighs] 266 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:20,884 What do you want, Roy? Hmm? 267 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,386 What do you really want? 268 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,721 I just want to be left alone. 269 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:28,809 Oh, bullshit, Roy! You want way more than that! 270 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:32,271 You're just so convinced that you don't deserve anything good in your life, 271 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:35,983 that you'd rather eat a bowl of shit soup and then complain about the portions. 272 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,696 Get out of your own way, man. 273 00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,782 'Cause this whole "woe is me" thing you've got going on 274 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,994 is just fucking ponderous. 275 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,458 Is that all? 276 00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:56,503 Yeah, that's it. 277 00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,590 For now. 278 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,936 [sighs] 279 00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:39,213 How we looking for tomorrow? 280 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,965 Oh, um, yeah... [chuckles] ...great. 281 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:45,093 Think we should play without a goalie. You know, just to give 'em a chance. 282 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,054 I love it when you're cocky. 283 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,018 Oh, baklava. 284 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,311 Oh, yeah. Help y-- 285 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,066 - Yeah. - So lovely to meet Kate. 286 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,069 Oh, Jade. It's Jade. 287 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,571 Oh, yes. Of course. Jade. Yeah. 288 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,406 Well, she really enjoyed meeting you. 289 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,243 Nothing better than the love of a woman. 290 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,345 [crowd singing indistinctly] 291 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,524 Sitting up there but it's just a little bit-- We'll get a drink. 292 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,693 Yo. Knock 'em dead, killer. 293 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,280 Well, I hope their kit man remembered to bring 11 body bags. [chuckles] 294 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:50,701 [chuckles] Hey, after the match, let's go for a drink. If you're up for it. 295 00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:54,371 Yeah, that'd be great. Shall I invite Jade? 296 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,166 No, I was thinking it was just the two of us. You know, a guys' night. 297 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:02,171 Oh, yeah. [stammers] That'd be lovely. I mean-- I mean, cool. 298 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,677 [Rupert] Right, let's go blow some bubbles. 299 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:11,638 [Arlo] Across town, West Ham are hoping to stay top of the table 300 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,182 - against Southampton. - [exhales sharply] 301 00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:17,102 {\an8}While here at Nelson Road, the red-hot Greyhounds face Brighton. 302 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:20,689 Color red tops off at about 800 centigrade, Arlo. 303 00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:25,360 The way Richmond are playing, a more accurate description would be yellow-hot. 304 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,487 - [bar patrons chattering] - Thank you for correcting me, Chris, 305 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,157 and next time feel free to wait until we're off air. 306 00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:32,659 What's this? 307 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,371 We're so full we ran out of pint glasses. [chuckles] 308 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:37,748 Bottoms up. 309 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,253 Bringing in the money ♪ [chuckles] 310 00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:45,214 That tastes better. 311 00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,591 [Arlo] The denizens of the Dogtrack have seen 312 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,177 their Greyhounds race up the table of late. 313 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,804 The air is filled with an unfamiliar confidence 314 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,932 of another trip to the winners' circle. 315 00:16:54,932 --> 00:16:57,226 - Leslie, did you just text me? - I did. 316 00:16:57,226 --> 00:16:59,394 - I'm sitting right here. - I see that now. 317 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:01,980 Oh, it's Jack. 318 00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:05,733 - She's saying that she's in Argentina... - [scoffs] 319 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,111 ...for the next couple of months. 320 00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:09,780 Ouch. 321 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,284 Well, I think our break is actually an "up." 322 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,248 So now that Jack is officially my ex, 323 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:23,836 please feel free to say any of the things that you didn't like about her. 324 00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,212 - Well-- - Ooh. 325 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,881 Her handshake was way too firm. 326 00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:30,133 You know-- [groaning] 327 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,470 I get it. You're friendly. [chuckles, mutters] 328 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,555 Good riddance. 329 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,559 [exhales sharply] 330 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,103 [Thierry] All right, yo. Let's do this, man. 331 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,649 Go get 'em, Captain. 332 00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:49,570 Isaac. 333 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:52,906 All right, fellas, here we go. Focus up. Focus up, y'all. 334 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,533 Coach, who we got today? 335 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,159 Brighton and Hove Albion. 336 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,537 Brighton, Hove and Albion. I didn't know we were playing a law firm. 337 00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:01,039 [players chuckling] 338 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,624 Okay, let's bring it in. Here we go! 339 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:05,419 [players applauding, clamoring] 340 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,055 [Ted] Go ahead, Captain. Count us off. 341 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,891 Richmond on C. A, B, C! 342 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,100 [all] Richmond! 343 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,311 [players applauding, clamoring] 344 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:30,527 [Arlo] Brighton have something going here, until that heavy touch by Cooke. 345 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,445 Oh, no! 346 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:32,821 A thoughtless poke by McAdoo 347 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,282 and a Richmond goal kick becomes a Brighton corner. 348 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,659 - [Chris] McAdoo lost concentration there. - [patrons groaning] 349 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,995 [Arlo] An uncharacteristic mistake from the captain. 350 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,207 Well done, McAdoo, you fucking numpty! 351 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,251 [Arlo] Some of the Richmond fans letting McAdoo have a piece of their minds. 352 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,921 The corner comes in. 353 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,006 And the keeper collects. 354 00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,925 Yes, Zoreaux. Yes, good take, man. 355 00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,009 It's actually Van Damme. 356 00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,970 [Arlo] Van Damme's been a commanding presence, Chris. 357 00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,182 [Chris] Just like in the movie Timecop, where he does the splits twice. 358 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,602 Richmond with possession. 359 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,648 Hughes has the ball. He's looking for space. 360 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,108 It's not there. He passes back to Maas. 361 00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:13,487 No! Cooke steps in, and Brighton are off. 362 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,488 [players shouting] 363 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,615 - [Arlo] And just like that... - Fuck! 364 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,909 - ...Joey Miller puts Brighton up 1-nil. - Shoot. 365 00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:22,746 - [crowd clamoring] - Oh, for fuck's sake! Fucking hell! 366 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:26,291 [Arlo] Is this the beginning of the end of Richmond's hot streak? 367 00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,794 - What the fuck, bruv? - What? 368 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:30,671 - Their fucking goal's over there. - Oh, right, yeah. 369 00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,840 Fucking fix up. Don't fucking walk away from me. 370 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,466 - Relax. - Their fucking goal's over there. 371 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,343 [Arlo] McAdoo is furious, 372 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,178 - remonstrating with Hughes for his error. - Wait? What? 373 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,889 - Don't fucking walk away from me! - [Arlo] Obisanya defuses the situation, 374 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,391 - but McAdoo remains incandescent. - Fuck! 375 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,643 - We have time. Come on! - [Arlo] My word. 376 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:48,188 Richmond asking plenty of questions in the first half 377 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,983 but haven't been able to put anything into Brighton's net. 378 00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:53,861 As we enter one minute of stoppage time, 379 00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:56,530 the Seagulls would be thrilled to go into the locker room 380 00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,323 leading by a goal to nil. 381 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,533 Any thoughts, Chris? 382 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,326 [Chris] Seagulls are wretched creatures 383 00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:03,745 who'll steal your car keys right off your beach towel. 384 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,415 [patrons clamoring] 385 00:20:06,415 --> 00:20:07,749 [Arlo] Richmond's starting to click. 386 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:11,211 This is the crisp ball movement we've come to expect from them. 387 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,381 Oh, this is slick. One-touch passing around the area. 388 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,966 Rojas is in. 389 00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:18,218 - Oh! Smothered by Brighton. - [crowd gasping, groaning] 390 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:21,513 - [whistle blows] - [Arlo] And that's the half. 391 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:25,475 Brighton's up 1-nil, but it's still anyone's game. 392 00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:30,898 [fan 1, singsongy] Same old Richmond. Still a shit show. 393 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,484 You're absolutely rubbish! 394 00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:39,448 Stop passing the ball around and bloody do something! 395 00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,202 You're a disgrace to the badge! 396 00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,913 You're all playing like a bunch of fucking fa-- 397 00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:48,248 [crowd clamoring] 398 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,292 - What the fuck did you say to me? - What? 399 00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:53,670 - What did you fucking say to me? - [crowd clamoring] 400 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:57,090 [Arlo] Isaac McAdoo has jumped the wall and charged into the seats. 401 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,300 This is unbelievable. 402 00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,259 Oh, my God. 403 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,136 - I dare you to fucking say it again! - [Arlo] He appears to be 404 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,847 in a confrontation with one of the Richmond supporters. 405 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,390 Thataway, McAdoo. Get him. 406 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,601 Hang on. He's one of ours. 407 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:08,852 Say that word again! 408 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,437 You leave it! 409 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,023 - Say that fucking word again! - Isaac! 410 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,316 - [whistle blows] - Number five! 411 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:15,943 Fuck's sake. 412 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:18,111 - [all groaning] - The captain, man. 413 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:21,532 [Arlo] It's an obvious red card. McAdoo clearly has to go. 414 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,410 [Chris] Roy Kent as the voice of reason. What a world. 415 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,912 - [Isaac] Fuck's sakes. - [crowd clamoring] 416 00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:28,455 Good lad. Oi! 417 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:30,874 Get him the fuck out of here! 418 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,084 - [crowd jeering] - What? 419 00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:35,963 [Arlo] After all hell broke loose, halftime finally gets underway, 420 00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:38,549 and the Greyhounds have much to discuss. 421 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,931 [breathing shakily] 422 00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:59,152 - [door closes] - [Isaac breathing heavily] 423 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,446 [door closes] 424 00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,588 All right, no one's gonna say nothing? Sure, no, I'll kick it off. 425 00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:18,672 Isaac, what the hell happened? 426 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:22,593 [breathes shakily] One of our fans said some ignorant shit! 427 00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:26,847 Okay. Okay, what-- [stammers] what'd they say? 428 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,436 - I-- I heard it. - [Ted] Okay. 429 00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:33,896 He said the f-word. 430 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,316 - Fuck? - No, the other f-word. 431 00:22:37,316 --> 00:22:39,693 - [players] Oh. - Oh, fuck. 432 00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:42,279 [players murmuring] 433 00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,366 If it helps, the fan has been removed. 434 00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:49,578 And I apologize for my dad. 435 00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,206 - [player groans] - [chuckles] 436 00:22:52,206 --> 00:22:53,624 Sorry, not the time for jokes. 437 00:22:53,624 --> 00:22:55,417 Um, read the room, Leslie. [scoffs] 438 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:58,295 Okay. Okay, I get it. I get it. I-- Um... 439 00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:02,382 Isaac, look. What that guy said? Inexcusable. All right? 440 00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:05,135 But, man... [chuckles] 441 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:09,223 ...your reaction to it ain't gonna be taught in any Tibetan monasteries anytime soon. 442 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:10,140 You know what I'm saying? 443 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,683 Yeah, now we're one man down. 444 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,561 Yeah, Isaac, come on, man. It's nothing we haven't heard before. 445 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:17,523 [players clamoring] 446 00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:20,192 Exactly. It's just poopy. Ignore it, man. 447 00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,902 Ignore it? 448 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:24,321 I don't want to fucking ignore it. 449 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:30,244 What if one of us is gay? Huh? 450 00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:33,747 We shouldn't have to deal with this shit! 451 00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:41,964 [huffs] 452 00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:45,175 [door slams] 453 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:48,345 All right. 454 00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:51,348 - I-- I got it. - Yeah, yeah. 455 00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,769 [mouthing words] 456 00:23:56,854 --> 00:24:00,023 - [mouthing words] - [softly] You think I should have it? 457 00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:01,441 [mumbles] 458 00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:12,619 No, get out, Roy. I don't-- I don't need you to come in here. 459 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,413 Just leave me alone. Just fuck off, yeah? 460 00:24:14,413 --> 00:24:16,790 I fucked it up. Just fucking fuck off. Just leave me alone. 461 00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,458 I don't need you to start yelling at me. 462 00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,252 I'm not here to yell at you. 463 00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:27,009 [sighs] 464 00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:29,928 What the fuck was that all about? 465 00:24:29,928 --> 00:24:33,932 - [player 1] I don't know. - [players murmuring] 466 00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:35,517 Colin, do you-- do you know? 467 00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,104 Guys, it's pretty obvious. 468 00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:40,731 Isaac's gay, right? 469 00:24:40,731 --> 00:24:42,733 - Oh. - [players murmuring] 470 00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:46,403 [Jan] Well, statistically speaking, 10% of the population is homosexual. 471 00:24:46,403 --> 00:24:47,988 So it's not that surprising. 472 00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:52,451 So there are probably more people in this room who are gay. 473 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:54,536 [players murmuring] 474 00:25:03,587 --> 00:25:06,757 - [clicks tongue] I'm flattered. - [players chuckling] 475 00:25:06,757 --> 00:25:09,927 Guys-- Guys, we don't need to discuss this any further, okay? 476 00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:11,929 All Isaac needs now is our support. 477 00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:14,973 - [players murmuring] - [player 2] Yeah. That's our captain. 478 00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:19,102 [Ted] All right, fellas, let's focus on the second half. 479 00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,230 - Now, what we got-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 480 00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:23,857 Isaac's not gay. 481 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,862 I don't know what happened out there, 482 00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:36,787 but I do know whatever it was isn't what you're really angry about. 483 00:25:38,914 --> 00:25:39,915 Is it? 484 00:25:43,085 --> 00:25:44,086 [sighs] 485 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,716 So then trust me. 486 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,637 You got to go deal with that... 487 00:25:56,473 --> 00:26:00,018 or you're gonna fuck up whatever it is you actually do care about. 488 00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:06,817 [Will] He's right, you know. 489 00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:11,864 [inhales deeply] 490 00:26:11,864 --> 00:26:15,534 The little things we get mad about are like snowflakes on a mountain. 491 00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,830 And if we wait too long, then we're just one sneeze away 492 00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,457 from an avalanche that will kill us all. 493 00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:26,712 Thank you, Will. 494 00:26:32,009 --> 00:26:33,510 - You want some bubble gum? - Don't push it. 495 00:26:33,510 --> 00:26:34,469 [Will mumbles] 496 00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:37,431 [players murmuring] 497 00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:45,772 [sighs] So, we cool? 498 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,733 - [Bumbercatch] Of course. - [players murmuring] 499 00:26:47,733 --> 00:26:51,987 - Yeah. - Of course. It's cool. 500 00:26:51,987 --> 00:26:54,865 - [Dani] Yeah, yeah. Yes, amigo. - A thousand percent. 501 00:26:54,865 --> 00:26:57,743 You're gay, big whoop. But we don't care. Right, guys? 502 00:26:57,743 --> 00:27:01,163 - [players murmuring] Yeah. Yeah. - [Jan] All good, bro. 503 00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:03,248 [stammers] Now, hold on. [stammering] Hold on, actually. 504 00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:07,294 [stammers] Colin, we do care, you know. 505 00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:11,423 When I was growing up back in Kansas City, I had a buddy named Stevey Jewell. 506 00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:14,051 Now, he was a huge Denver Broncos fan. 507 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:17,930 But we were all growing up smack dab in the middle of Chiefs country. 508 00:27:17,930 --> 00:27:20,224 So he used to catch a lot of guff for it, you know? 509 00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:25,479 But me? Me, I-I told him it didn't affect the way I felt about him at all, you know? 510 00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:28,023 I told him that I "didn't care." 511 00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:30,150 [stammers] And I didn't, you know. 512 00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,530 But then in 19s-- what, '97, '98, 513 00:27:35,322 --> 00:27:39,117 he had to watch back-to-back Super Bowls with the Denver Broncos in 'em 514 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,202 all by himself. 515 00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:47,668 First one, he ate an entire seven-layer dip 516 00:27:47,668 --> 00:27:50,379 from Price Chopper all by himself. 517 00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:53,131 Big ol' thing. And it just wrecked his stomach. 518 00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:55,384 Apparently, he destroyed the toilet in his parents' basement. 519 00:27:55,384 --> 00:27:57,511 [stammers] I remember the rumor at the time being 520 00:27:57,511 --> 00:28:00,764 - that he caused $9,000 worth of damage. - [player exclaims] 521 00:28:00,764 --> 00:28:03,016 Could you imagine? To a toilet. 9,000 bucks. 522 00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:06,770 The next year, he did the exact same thing. [chuckles] 523 00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,689 All by himself. 524 00:28:08,689 --> 00:28:11,483 He must have thought it was good luck or something. I don't know. 525 00:28:11,483 --> 00:28:13,819 'Cause I wasn't there. 'Cause I "didn't care." 526 00:28:15,863 --> 00:28:17,990 But I should've cared. You know? 527 00:28:20,117 --> 00:28:21,410 I should've supported him. 528 00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:27,791 I-I should've been at his house both them years. 529 00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:32,337 Sharing that seven-layer dip with my friend 530 00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:37,634 while his garbage-ass team wins back-to-back Super Bowls. 531 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,559 Coach, did you just compare being gay to being a Denver Broncos fan? 532 00:28:46,977 --> 00:28:49,354 You know what? I did, and I regret it. Yeah. Sorry about that. 533 00:28:49,354 --> 00:28:51,106 [players murmuring] 534 00:28:51,106 --> 00:28:52,733 What the fuck are Denver Broncos? 535 00:28:52,733 --> 00:28:54,818 - [Ted] No, that's a very good question. - Oh, for fuck's sake. 536 00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:57,613 It's an American football reference, an absolute fumble in this situation. 537 00:28:57,613 --> 00:28:58,989 I apologize. Yeah. Okay. 538 00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:00,949 But... [stammers] ...the point is, Colin... 539 00:29:04,453 --> 00:29:06,330 we don't not care. 540 00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:08,707 We care very much. 541 00:29:09,499 --> 00:29:13,587 We care about who you are and what you must've been going through. 542 00:29:14,838 --> 00:29:15,839 Yeah? 543 00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:18,258 But hey, from now on, 544 00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:22,554 you don't have to go through it all by yourself. 545 00:29:22,554 --> 00:29:24,431 - [players murmuring] - [Ted] All right? 546 00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:27,809 Yeah. You hear that? You got us, mate. We got you. 547 00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:31,647 Okay, well, look. Hey. I hate to bring up work in a moment like this, 548 00:29:31,647 --> 00:29:33,857 but we do have a second half of a match to play. 549 00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:35,025 Coach, what we got? 550 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:37,903 Playing a man down. What do we do differently? 551 00:29:37,903 --> 00:29:39,655 [players] Absolutely nothing! 552 00:29:39,655 --> 00:29:42,157 - [cheering, chattering] - Let's go. Let's go, baby. 553 00:29:44,618 --> 00:29:45,869 [Colin] Let's go. 554 00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:48,539 [Ted] Okay, okay. All right. Captain, count us off. 555 00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:54,169 Oh, wow. That's me, yes. Um, okay. 556 00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:57,381 [sighs, stammers] I don't know what to say. Um... 557 00:29:58,173 --> 00:30:00,843 [stammers] I'm honored to be your captain. 558 00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:03,387 And, um, you know, I-I love you guys so very much. 559 00:30:03,387 --> 00:30:05,097 On three. One, two, three. 560 00:30:05,097 --> 00:30:06,849 [all] I love you guys so very much! 561 00:30:06,849 --> 00:30:08,642 [cheering, clamoring] 562 00:30:18,652 --> 00:30:21,697 - [exhales deeply] - Better or worse than you imagined? 563 00:30:21,697 --> 00:30:24,157 Uh, second-best way it could've gone, I think. 564 00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:27,870 Best way being the entire team confesses that they're gay too, 565 00:30:27,870 --> 00:30:29,788 and we get to be on the cover of Oprah's magazine. 566 00:30:29,788 --> 00:30:31,081 [both chuckle] 567 00:30:38,797 --> 00:30:39,923 Hmm. 568 00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:49,808 [phone chimes] 569 00:31:04,281 --> 00:31:05,574 Cracking match, Coach. 570 00:31:05,574 --> 00:31:07,743 Oh. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Roger. 571 00:31:08,327 --> 00:31:11,246 Hey, a few of us are getting a pint. Care to join us? 572 00:31:11,246 --> 00:31:14,833 Sounds good but, um, I'm actually going for a drink with Rupert tonight. 573 00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,543 - [Roger] Oh. - Just the two of us, so... 574 00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:17,920 Are you in trouble? 575 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,548 Wh-- No, no. It's just like, um, guys' night, so... 576 00:31:21,548 --> 00:31:23,842 Cool. Maybe next time? 577 00:31:23,842 --> 00:31:24,927 Yeah. 578 00:31:31,642 --> 00:31:34,728 - [crowd cheering] - [whistle blows] 579 00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,688 - Yes! - [Jamie] Yes! 580 00:31:36,688 --> 00:31:38,398 - [Arlo] And Richmond have done it. - Yes! 581 00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:39,942 - How about that? - Well done, sir. 582 00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:42,110 [Arlo] They complete the comeback for a thrilling two-one win... 583 00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:44,613 - I love you so much, man. - ...behind an inspirational turn 584 00:31:44,613 --> 00:31:45,906 from Colin Hughes. 585 00:31:45,906 --> 00:31:47,574 - Come on! - [Arlo] Assisting both goals... 586 00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:48,492 - Yeah! - [Higgins] Whoo! 587 00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:50,118 [Arlo] ...in a man-of-the-match performance. 588 00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:52,120 [Chris] Wow, Hughes was sensational, Arlo. 589 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,331 - After being benched earlier this season... - [chanting] AFC Richmond! 590 00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:56,542 - AFC Richmond! - [Chris] ...back in the starting lineup, 591 00:31:56,542 --> 00:31:58,919 and today, the Welshman played like a man reborn. 592 00:31:58,919 --> 00:32:01,505 [players cheering] 593 00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:05,926 A goal down, a man down, 594 00:32:05,926 --> 00:32:08,512 the Greyhounds scored twice in the second half. 595 00:32:08,512 --> 00:32:11,515 Both assisted by an inspired Colin Hughes. 596 00:32:11,515 --> 00:32:17,396 {\an8}But the real fireworks were at halftime when Richmond's captain, Isaac McAdoo, 597 00:32:17,396 --> 00:32:21,441 went into the stands to attack one of their own fans. 598 00:32:21,942 --> 00:32:24,611 In fairness, I wanted to do that a few times myself, Jeff. 599 00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:27,614 {\an8}Yeah, but you didn't, Clinton, 'cause you're not a psychopath like McAdoo. 600 00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:30,576 {\an8}- Now, George, you don't know what-- - Oh, no-- Jeff. Jeff, come on. 601 00:32:30,576 --> 00:32:33,954 You do not go into the stands. I don't care what was said. 602 00:32:33,954 --> 00:32:36,999 That is a line you do not cross. 603 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:40,252 And that's why McAdoo wasn't captain when I was there. 604 00:32:40,252 --> 00:32:41,712 'Cause he's not fit for it. 605 00:32:41,712 --> 00:32:44,590 I mean, come on. He makes Roy Kent look like Bambi. 606 00:32:44,590 --> 00:32:46,842 - [all chuckle] - He's an idiot, isn't he? Come on. 607 00:32:46,842 --> 00:32:48,468 - McAdoo doing that. - Yes. 608 00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:50,554 - What was he thinking? - He's in big trouble. 609 00:32:50,554 --> 00:32:52,306 Guy probably deserved it though, right? 610 00:32:52,306 --> 00:32:53,640 - Absolutely. - No doubt. 611 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,767 I hope his kids shiv him in his sleep. 612 00:32:56,894 --> 00:32:58,645 What? He used to come in here. 613 00:32:58,645 --> 00:33:00,772 He was a dick to my niece, Claire, once. 614 00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:02,316 - No way. - Not Claire. 615 00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,942 Fucking prick! 616 00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:05,402 Moving over to east London, 617 00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:08,739 the Wonder Kid's West Ham took care of business at home. 618 00:33:08,739 --> 00:33:11,450 - [club music playing] - [patrons chattering] 619 00:33:13,702 --> 00:33:17,080 [Rupert chuckles] And then-- And then he-- he came in after me. 620 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,540 [person chuckles] 621 00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:20,125 Hey, Rupert. 622 00:33:20,125 --> 00:33:22,002 - You all right? - Hey, Nathan. 623 00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:26,423 Let me introduce, uh, Kelsie and, uh, Libby. 624 00:33:26,423 --> 00:33:27,883 - No. [stutters] The other way around. - Uh... 625 00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:29,218 - Oh. [chuckles] - The other way. 626 00:33:29,218 --> 00:33:30,761 [Rupert, Libby, Kelsie chuckling] 627 00:33:30,761 --> 00:33:32,971 Well, I'm still Rupert. [chuckles] 628 00:33:32,971 --> 00:33:36,350 And this is Nathan Shelley, the Wonder Kid. 629 00:33:36,350 --> 00:33:37,893 [chuckles] Hey, you all right? 630 00:33:38,519 --> 00:33:39,520 - Hi. - Hey. 631 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,523 So, uh, the girls will be joining us tonight. 632 00:33:42,523 --> 00:33:43,607 Shall we? 633 00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:49,321 Ooh. Yum, yum, yum. 634 00:33:49,947 --> 00:33:52,366 - Thought it was a guys' night, Rupert. - Ooh. 635 00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:56,286 Well, yes. Trust me, it is. 636 00:33:57,371 --> 00:34:01,124 Oscar. [distorted] We're off to the private room. 637 00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:07,005 Couple of bottles of champagne, please. 638 00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:12,928 Um, actually, Rupert. 639 00:34:14,972 --> 00:34:16,681 I'm so sorry, uh, I need to leave. 640 00:34:16,681 --> 00:34:19,601 Um, long story. 641 00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:21,395 I wanted to come and tell you in person. 642 00:34:33,447 --> 00:34:34,449 Ooh. 643 00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:37,870 Congratulations, Ted. That's eight wins in a row. 644 00:34:37,870 --> 00:34:38,954 Oh, come on now, Trent. 645 00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:40,831 You know I don't care about winning or losing. 646 00:34:41,373 --> 00:34:43,208 - [blows raspberry] - [scoffs] 647 00:34:43,208 --> 00:34:45,085 No, the truth is, only way I could be happier 648 00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:48,172 is if my arm-feet were covered in barbecue sauce. [chuckles] 649 00:34:48,172 --> 00:34:50,340 How you feeling about the win streak, Roy? 650 00:34:50,340 --> 00:34:54,386 [groans] No way. Do not come near me with that shit. 651 00:34:54,386 --> 00:34:56,889 - You never talk about a streak. - Um. Mmm. 652 00:34:56,889 --> 00:34:59,892 My grandparents were happily married for 51 years 653 00:34:59,892 --> 00:35:02,853 'cause they never said a fucking word to each other. Scram. 654 00:35:03,604 --> 00:35:06,064 Well done, gentlemen. Congrats. 655 00:35:06,064 --> 00:35:07,316 Mmm. 656 00:35:08,317 --> 00:35:09,318 Another one. 657 00:35:09,318 --> 00:35:12,988 Oh, boy. Higgins hitting us with his DJ Khaled impression. Nice. 658 00:35:12,988 --> 00:35:13,947 Who? 659 00:35:13,947 --> 00:35:16,200 - Parallel thinking. - Apparently so. 660 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,702 The press is ready for you, Ted. It's a big one. 661 00:35:18,702 --> 00:35:21,205 Mmm. That's what that lady from the American Office said. 662 00:35:21,205 --> 00:35:23,165 Okay, I'll be right there. 663 00:35:23,165 --> 00:35:24,499 Okay. 664 00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:26,376 [Ted] Mmm. 665 00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:29,129 [reporters chattering] 666 00:35:31,590 --> 00:35:33,800 - He's on his way. - Thank you, Leslie. 667 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,261 You gave Ted some talking points? 668 00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:39,264 No. I haven't done that in a long time. 669 00:35:40,599 --> 00:35:41,808 Oh, God. 670 00:35:49,274 --> 00:35:50,526 [stammers] 671 00:35:54,446 --> 00:35:55,864 [Roy grunts] 672 00:35:55,864 --> 00:35:57,741 [chattering stops] 673 00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:01,828 {\an8}Yeah. All right. [sighs] You got me today. 674 00:36:03,247 --> 00:36:04,373 Any questions? 675 00:36:04,373 --> 00:36:06,333 [reporters clamoring] 676 00:36:06,333 --> 00:36:07,501 Fucking hell. 677 00:36:09,253 --> 00:36:10,796 You. Five-o'clock-shadow head. 678 00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:16,593 Coach Kent, do you or the organization condone what Isaac McAdoo did today? 679 00:36:16,593 --> 00:36:18,345 What a stupid fucking question. 680 00:36:18,345 --> 00:36:21,139 - [reporters chuckling] - [Roy] Course we don't. 681 00:36:21,139 --> 00:36:24,643 What Isaac did was awful. He was lucky he only got a red card. 682 00:36:24,643 --> 00:36:26,353 Okay. So why'd he do it? 683 00:36:27,104 --> 00:36:28,856 [chuckles] 684 00:36:43,412 --> 00:36:46,039 When I was first coming up through Sunderland, 685 00:36:46,540 --> 00:36:49,334 there was an old-timer on the team. Local guy. 686 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,462 He and his wife were about to have their first kid, 687 00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:54,298 so during training one day, 688 00:36:54,923 --> 00:36:58,760 I made a joke that, statistically, I was probably the real dad. 689 00:36:59,845 --> 00:37:04,558 And the boys fell about laughing, but he went fucking nuts. 690 00:37:04,558 --> 00:37:07,895 He battered me. Properly. 691 00:37:07,895 --> 00:37:11,607 I had a black eye, chipped tooth, three broken ribs. 692 00:37:12,357 --> 00:37:14,067 I couldn't play for six games. 693 00:37:14,818 --> 00:37:16,320 He got booted off the team. 694 00:37:17,613 --> 00:37:21,074 After that, no club would go near him. 695 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:24,912 Then in the summer, after I could breathe again, 696 00:37:25,537 --> 00:37:27,080 I bumped into him in a pub. 697 00:37:27,873 --> 00:37:31,210 And I got the chance to say sorry for my stupid fucking joke. 698 00:37:34,421 --> 00:37:37,424 And he got to tell me... [swallows] 699 00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:41,011 - ...he and his wife had lost the baby... - [reporters groaning] 700 00:37:41,011 --> 00:37:43,263 ...a month before all that went down. 701 00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:49,853 He hadn't told anyone. Kept it all inside. 702 00:37:56,568 --> 00:38:00,656 {\an8}Look, I get that some people think if they buy a ticket, 703 00:38:01,156 --> 00:38:05,577 {\an8}they've got the right to yell whatever abusive shit they want at footballers. 704 00:38:06,703 --> 00:38:10,832 {\an8}But they're not just footballers. They're also people. 705 00:38:12,709 --> 00:38:17,798 And none of us know what is going on in each other's lives. 706 00:38:20,884 --> 00:38:24,888 {\an8}So for Isaac to do what he did today, 707 00:38:25,806 --> 00:38:27,099 {\an8}even though it was wrong... 708 00:38:29,810 --> 00:38:31,061 {\an8}I give him love. 709 00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,568 {\an8}And as for why he did what he did... 710 00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:43,740 that's none of my fucking business. 711 00:38:47,619 --> 00:38:49,538 - Next question. - [reporters clamoring] 712 00:38:50,122 --> 00:38:51,331 Yeah, New Trent. 713 00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:54,126 [chuckles] Uh, Coach, let's talk about Colin Hughes. 714 00:38:54,877 --> 00:38:57,212 Yeah, he's a hell of a player and a great man. 715 00:38:58,130 --> 00:38:59,423 I think we've underused him. 716 00:38:59,423 --> 00:39:01,300 - [Marcus] I think you're right. - Glad we agree. 717 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,844 - I prefer you to Old Trent. - [reporters chuckling] 718 00:39:03,844 --> 00:39:06,471 - [Roy] Next question. - [reporters clamoring] 719 00:39:06,471 --> 00:39:08,724 ["All That You Are" playing] 720 00:39:11,518 --> 00:39:13,312 [Roy] You. Goblin King, go. 721 00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:20,152 [doorbell rings] 722 00:39:33,373 --> 00:39:34,249 Hey. 723 00:39:35,334 --> 00:39:36,335 Hey. 724 00:39:36,919 --> 00:39:38,378 What happened to guys' night? 725 00:39:43,467 --> 00:39:46,512 [breathes deeply] 726 00:40:00,817 --> 00:40:01,985 [exhales sharply] 727 00:40:09,993 --> 00:40:10,994 Hey. 728 00:40:15,499 --> 00:40:16,875 You lied to me. 729 00:40:19,336 --> 00:40:20,337 For years. 730 00:40:24,132 --> 00:40:27,886 What is it about me that made you think you couldn't tell me? 731 00:40:29,429 --> 00:40:31,974 [stammers] No, it was nothing to do with you. 732 00:40:32,766 --> 00:40:34,268 [sighs] It was about me. 733 00:40:36,562 --> 00:40:39,231 I was 99% sure that you'd support me. 734 00:40:39,815 --> 00:40:44,736 But the 1% chance that you wouldn't scared the shit out of me. 735 00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:54,580 I don't know how you did it. I can't keep a secret for shit. 736 00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:57,207 I know. Another reason I didn't tell you. 737 00:40:57,791 --> 00:41:00,043 I mean, I hid it from people for years, 738 00:41:00,586 --> 00:41:03,630 and the second you find out, I didn't last a month. 739 00:41:04,256 --> 00:41:06,216 [both chuckle] 740 00:41:07,509 --> 00:41:10,762 [chuckles] I'm sorry, bruv. 741 00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:15,934 You gonna tell everyone now? 742 00:41:19,229 --> 00:41:20,230 No. 743 00:41:21,231 --> 00:41:23,984 The team knows. And that's enough for me. 744 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:26,528 And no one's gonna say shit. 745 00:41:29,781 --> 00:41:30,782 I promise. 746 00:41:36,622 --> 00:41:37,873 Hmm. Wanna come in? 747 00:41:44,463 --> 00:41:45,464 Yeah, all right. 748 00:41:46,507 --> 00:41:47,341 Come on. 749 00:41:47,341 --> 00:41:49,426 ["I Am What I Am" playing] 750 00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:05,484 [Isaac] Is "top or bottom" sex positions or sleeping arrangements? 751 00:42:05,984 --> 00:42:07,277 [Colin] Sexual positions. 752 00:42:07,277 --> 00:42:09,154 Unless bunk beds are involved. Then it's both. 753 00:42:09,821 --> 00:42:11,240 Would you ever shag a woman? 754 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,616 No, I'm gay. 755 00:42:12,616 --> 00:42:14,701 I know, but what if you had to? 756 00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:18,247 - 1967 Raquel Welch. - My man. 757 00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:19,248 [chuckles] 758 00:42:19,248 --> 00:42:22,918 - Who's the fittest guy on the team? - I won't tell you, and you'd never guess. 759 00:42:24,086 --> 00:42:25,879 - Bumbercatch. - Yes. 760 00:42:27,422 --> 00:42:29,299 What about team showers? How does that work? 761 00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:31,927 Uh, I keep my head down, and I think of global warming. 762 00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:34,930 Yeah, well, if I had to shower with a bunch of girls all the time, 763 00:42:34,930 --> 00:42:37,057 - I'd defo get boners. - [chuckles] 764 00:42:39,810 --> 00:42:40,811 I love you, boyo. 765 00:42:44,106 --> 00:42:45,524 You can't say it, can you? 766 00:42:47,568 --> 00:42:48,569 No. 767 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:50,904 But you know I do, yeah?