1
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,764
- Hello, there.
- Hey, there.
2
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,390
- Hi, Ted.
- Howdy.
3
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,809
Hey, Ted. Good luck this weekend.
4
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,269
I appreciate you, Susan.
5
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,441
Hey, Ms. Barnaby. Rough night?
6
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,028
Ted, if it's not rough, it isn't fun.
7
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,448
Boy.
8
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,159
- Hiya.
- Hey, fellas. How you doing?
9
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,079
- What's up, Coach?
- There she is.
10
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:41,333
Hey, wanker. Don't get all cocky
and fuck up that streak you're on.
11
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,960
What streak?
12
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,629
- Go Richmond.
- Yes, sir.
13
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,090
Morning.
14
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:49,967
Hey. How you doing?
15
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,099
- Mom?
- Hey, Teddy.
16
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,717
Don't think the cleaners
actually cleaned the floor.
17
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,260
There are no cleaners.
18
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,053
So, why do we put the chairs
on the tables?
19
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,763
The patriarchy.
20
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,475
{\an8}Okay. Oh, well. I'll just go get a broom.
21
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,441
{\an8}Hello.
22
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,777
{\an8}We're not open for another half hour.
Would you care to wait not here?
23
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,862
{\an8}- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
24
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:52,946
{\an8}No, wait.
25
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,575
{\an8}We're actually here to speak
with Nathan Shelley. He works here, yeah?
26
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,327
No such man exists.
27
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,790
Oh, my God, it's true.
28
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,044
How did you go through your money so fast?
29
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,630
Did you get addicted to the limelight?
30
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,008
What? No. No, I just like working here.
31
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,136
I like spending time with my girlfriend.
32
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,805
She was right there.
33
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,434
- That was my girlfriend. She--
- Okay.
34
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,561
What are you guys doing here?
35
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,313
We want you to come back to Richmond.
36
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,611
- You do?
- Yeah, bruv.
37
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,113
'Cause this shit here is sad as fuck.
38
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,909
{\an8}And all of you? You want me to come...
39
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,703
{\an8}Yeah. It'll be good to have you back.
40
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,707
{\an8}The whole team talked about it,
and it was unanimous.
41
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,792
{\an8}Except for Bumbercatch.
42
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,295
Who abstained
because he's passionately antidemocratic.
43
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,922
Oh, yeah.
44
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,006
Yeah.
45
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,468
{\an8}So, what? Ted asked you guys
to come here to get me to come back?
46
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,262
No, Ted doesn't know about it.
47
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,974
{\an8}Yeah, no, we wanted to ask you
to see if you wanted to come back
48
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,517
{\an8}before we approached Ted.
49
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,935
{\an8}Okay, well, sorry, guys.
50
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,729
{\an8}I don't think it's a good idea
for me to come back to Richmond, so...
51
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,730
{\an8}Thank you though.
52
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,527
{\an8}- Okay.
- Cool.
53
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,779
{\an8}Can I have 75 kebabs to go?
54
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,449
{\an8}Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, of course.
Chicken, pork or lamb?
55
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,829
Or 25 of each?
56
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,290
Nate the Great.
57
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,834
- Yum.
- Okay.
58
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,252
- Nice.
- Hey.
59
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,379
Thank you!
60
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,433
Pretty sparse.
61
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}What are all these
crazy symbols on your oven dial?
62
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,573
{\an8}Yeah, well, the one with
the line under the nuclear power symbol,
63
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,991
{\an8}that's for making cookies and chicken.
64
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:04,077
{\an8}The three squiggly lines
let you burn a frozen pizza.
65
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,330
{\an8}And the key symbol there,
that makes the whole thing beep
66
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,248
{\an8}until Beard comes over
and fixes it for me.
67
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,499
{\an8}Is everything okay, Mom?
68
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,293
{\an8}Sure. I'm just looking around.
69
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,463
{\an8}No, no. No, I mean, you being here
in London. Is everything okay?
70
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,089
Oh, yeah. Everything's fine.
71
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,050
I just always wanted to see England,
72
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,719
so I booked this trip
as a little Mother's Day gift to myself.
73
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,181
{\an8}Okay. Well, I mean,
how long you been here?
74
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,808
- Just a week.
- A week? Where the heck you staying?
75
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,560
This adorable little hostel.
76
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,771
{\an8}- Mom--
- Now, I met so many Australians.
77
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,606
{\an8}They are backpacking through Europe.
78
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,650
So much sex.
79
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,401
- Mom.
- No, not me.
80
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,654
- The Australians.
- No, no, I get it. Okay.
81
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,822
How about you stay here
for the rest of your trip, all right?
82
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,366
Only if I'm not a hassle.
83
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,535
You're not a hassle, Mom, okay?
Please stay here.
84
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,161
- Okay.
- Okay, good. All right.
85
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,039
- Now, look, I gotta get to work.
- All righty. Have fun.
86
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,417
{\an8}You wanna tag along?
87
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,754
- Well, I don't wanna be in your hair.
- Mom, I want you in my hair. Okay?
88
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,215
I want you in my friends'
and coworkers' hair.
89
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,758
Now, please. Come on with.
90
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510
- Okay, thank you. I would like that.
- All right, good.
91
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,303
{\an8}You don't have to bring
your suitcase, Mom.
92
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,056
{\an8}- Okay. I'll just grab my coat...
- Yeah.
93
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:10,435
...get my bag,
leave my worries on the doorstep.
94
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,856
{\an8}Yeah, just direct your feet that way,
Mom. Okay.
95
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,322
{\an8}Sam,
Richmond have won 15 matches in a row.
96
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,199
{\an8}With two games left,
you're just four points off
97
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,451
{\an8}Manchester City
for the Premier League title.
98
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:30,873
- Do you have a question?
- Yeah. Am I dreaming?
99
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,544
Well, if you are, please, don't wake up.
100
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,588
And if this is the Matrix,
don't unplug me.
101
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,300
{\an8}Yeah, better Trent.
102
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,094
{\an8}Marcus Adebayo, The Independent.
103
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:47,097
{\an8}Jamie,
on the heels of making your England debut,
104
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,433
how does it feel to be named
Premier League Player of the Month?
105
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398
{\an8}Yeah. Yeah. It feels good, I guess.
106
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,401
{\an8}But it's really the team
making me look good.
107
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,654
{\an8}So, I should be doing a better job
of making them look good, really.
108
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,991
So, yeah. Makes me feel bad.
109
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,663
Jamie also led the league
in assists this month,
110
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,416
so he's done plenty to make
his teammates look good.
111
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,251
Yeah, but they're the ones
who took all the shots.
112
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,753
{\an8}He also scored a goal.
113
00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:20,255
{\an8}That was meant to be a pass.
You shouldn't count that.
114
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,885
{\an8}That goal is a lie.
It should be retracted from the records.
115
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,639
I apologize to everyone,
especially the kids.
116
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:34,019
{\an8}Right, let's call it there, everyone.
That was great. Thanks very much.
117
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,650
- Hey, Boss.
- Hello, Ted.
118
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,819
So this morning,
I don't just bring biscuits.
119
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,447
I also have a very special surprise guest.
120
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,450
How exciting.
To whom do I owe the pleasure?
121
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,285
I'm Coach Lasso's new bodyguard.
122
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,496
Please keep your hands
where I can see them.
123
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,498
I'm just kidding.
124
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,793
You can keep them well-manicured
mitts of yours wherever you like.
125
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,420
Oh, my God. You're Ted's mother.
126
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,964
Winner, winner, B. F. Skinner.
127
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,802
Mom, this is my boss, Rebecca Welton.
Rebecca, this is Dottie Lasso.
128
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,387
Honey, bring that in.
129
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,433
I can't believe I'm finally getting
to meet the woman who created
130
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,269
one of the nicest humans I've ever met.
131
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,728
Oh, no, don't look at me.
132
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,523
This one popped out and immediately
asked the doctor if he needed anything.
133
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,234
That doesn't make any sense.
134
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,945
Babies can't talk and nor do they
understand empathy. And you know...
135
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,406
Dottie-- I'm sorry. May I call you Dottie?
136
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,949
Sure, if you want me to respond.
137
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,493
Right. If you'd like,
I'd love to show you around.
138
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,996
I've heard great things
about the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
139
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,873
I mean around the facility.
140
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,542
Even better.
I can't wait to meet Dani Rojas.
141
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,419
And he does not disappoint.
142
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:42,963
- Shall we?
- Sure.
143
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,632
- Where you from, honey?
- Surrey.
144
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,467
Where are you from?
145
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,554
- Surrey.
- I thought you said "sorry."
146
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:57,728
So I say,
147
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,688
"Officer, you must be mistaken.
148
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:03,400
You couldn't have arrested my son.
My son is asleep in his own bed."
149
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,196
Are you sure you do not want
a kebab, Mama Lasso?
150
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,572
Oh, no, thank you, Dani.
151
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,240
You are so polite.
152
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:12,993
Okay, now bear with me.
153
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,247
It must be so lovely
having your mother visiting, Ted.
154
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,707
Oh, yeah. It's great.
155
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,418
- Oklahoma.
- Oh, no. It's weird.
156
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,128
Didn't tell me she was coming.
157
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,047
Just showed up out of nowhere,
you know, like one of them
158
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,925
weird eyebrow hairs I started getting
the day after I turned 40.
159
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,177
That's what mothers do, Ted.
160
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:35,599
So it turns out my 12-year-old son
was not asleep in his own room.
161
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,851
He had taken our car for a joyride.
162
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,480
Now, he was arrested
for driving on the wrong side of the road,
163
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,774
so I guess he was destined
to live in England.
164
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:49,029
Now, see, I wasn't 12. I was 15.
And the whole reason we got pulled over
165
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,783
was 'cause Ronnie Fowch was throwing
gang signs at a cop car.
166
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,202
Look, sometimes the truth can ruin
a perfectly good story.
167
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,954
Yeah, you should work for the Daily Mail.
168
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,834
Ted, if you can give your mom
one lovely moment,
169
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,170
you know, a memory to take back home,
then you've won.
170
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,507
Yeah, all right. Thanks, Boss.
171
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134
Right. I've got to go
and see a man about a horse.
172
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:14,012
I didn't know girls said that
when they gotta pee.
173
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:15,931
No, Ted, I'm buying a horse.
174
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,314
Hey, did Teddy ever tell you about
the time he ate a candy bar made of poop?
175
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,109
Okay, okay! All right.
176
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,778
I think that's enough story time
with Mama Lasso, all right, fellas?
177
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,322
Practice starts in twenty minutes.
Up you go.
178
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,366
- Nice to meet you, Mama Lasso.
- Nice to meet you.
179
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,909
Hey, Mom. I'll be right back.
180
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,245
I'm gonna go change,
and then I'll take you out to the pitch.
181
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,080
Okay, honey. I'll be here.
182
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,126
Mrs. Lasso, I just wanted to
introduce myself. I'm Trent Crimm.
183
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,961
- Hello, Trent.
- Hello.
184
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,922
I was wondering if I could
just have a little chat with you about--
185
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,549
Trent, your hair is fabulous.
186
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:53,010
- It really is. It's just styling.
- Thank you. Thank you.
187
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,264
Van Damme. You still gotta wear that mask?
188
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,226
Yeah, I do, man. Or else I die.
189
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:09,818
Between wearing that mask and death,
I choose death.
190
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:15,240
- It does make you look very stupid.
- Oh, well. Thank you, Jan Maas.
191
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,454
You wanna take a crack, Jamie?
192
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,541
I think it's more important
to be safe than to look cool.
193
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,591
Oi! Tartt.
194
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,302
Boot room. Now!
195
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:42,059
Somebody is in trouble.
196
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:46,230
No. Shouting is Roy's love language.
197
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,406
All right. Listen up.
198
00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,827
This is not the week for your mister
fucking humble, great teammate bullshit.
199
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:04,581
We got City on Saturday,
so we need you to be the prickiest prick
200
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,959
you've ever been
in your little prick life.
201
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,211
You understand? So I don't want you--
202
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,176
What is wrong?
203
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,179
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
204
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,473
Are you fucking dying or some shit?
205
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,977
No. No. I'm-- No. I'm just tired.
206
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:29,314
But I can't sleep, and I can't eat.
207
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,860
And I wash me hair,
but I don't use any conditioner anymore
208
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,820
'cause I-- Like, what's the fucking point?
209
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,323
I feel like the guy
in the Red Bull commercial
210
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,076
who's pushing that big rock up the hill,
211
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,161
but he's lost his wings.
212
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:47,499
Roy, I feel like--
I feel like I've lost me wings, Roy.
213
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,671
Where the fuck are my wings, Roy?
214
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,640
Fuck.
215
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,228
- Will?
- Yeah?
216
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,230
You missed a good one.
217
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,282
Oh, boy.
218
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,951
...that you've ever seen. You know, I even...
219
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,662
Oh, my God, Coach.
Our new striker looks just like your mom.
220
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,830
That is my mom.
221
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917
I know, Ted. That was a joke.
222
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,961
- Right.
- Hey, Ted. Got a sec?
223
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,796
What is time, Higgs boson? What's up?
224
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,923
So, this morning,
225
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,176
a few of my little birdies
went to visit Nathan in his new job,
226
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,888
waiting tables in Tooting.
227
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:44,515
- Tooting?
- Tooting.
228
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,600
- Did he just say "Tooting"?
- Tooting.
229
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,977
- Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"?
- Tooting, yes.
230
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,395
Man, this place is great, right?
231
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,940
Yeah.
Sorry, what were you saying about Nate?
232
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:57,194
The little birdies are pretty sure
he'd come back if invited.
233
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,155
Uh-huh. Okay. What do you think?
234
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,366
Well, I do believe in second chances, Ted.
235
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,452
That's why I'm still married,
and all my sons are alive.
236
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,789
Hey, Roy. Would it bother you
if we brought Nate back?
237
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,082
No. I don't give a fuck.
238
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:14,253
He's great at the shit I suck at.
Look, I've gotta go and do something.
239
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,921
Okay. Everything all right?
240
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,049
Yeah. I've just come down with a case
of the "none of your fucking business."
241
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,760
Right, right. Okay. What about you, Coach?
242
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,846
- You all right if Nate comes--
- If you bring that Judas back,
243
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,390
I will burn this place
to the fucking ground.
244
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,518
Ted?
245
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,062
Is it true that you got onstage and danced
with Bruce Springsteen?
246
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,605
No, that was Courteney Cox.
247
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,358
What I did do was sing "Glory Days"
with a Bruce Springsteen cover band
248
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,026
at my friend Scott Cinnamon's bar mitzvah.
249
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:41,697
It was the bar mitzvah.
That's right. It was the bar mitzvah.
250
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,490
- Is this your mom?
- Yeah.
251
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,826
It is so nice to meet you.
252
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,870
Friends don't shake hands. Friends hug.
253
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,748
- Weirdo Beard-o!
- Lodi Dodi!
254
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,626
Come on, bring it on in. There you go.
255
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:58,130
- Trent, come along.
- Lodi Dodi, she like to party
256
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,215
She don't cause trouble
Don't bother nobody
257
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:04,094
- Some of us got a football team to coach!
- Whoo-hoo!
258
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,180
Lodi Dodi, she like to party
259
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,223
She don't cause trouble
Don't bother nobody
260
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:21,820
Hello. Are you here about the pipes?
261
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,656
No. What's wrong with the pipes?
262
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,742
Nothing.
263
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,953
That's why I thought it was so weird
that you were here about the pipes.
264
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:34,124
Roy, what are you doing here?
265
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,751
I need to talk.
266
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,465
Roy...
267
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,885
Oh, no. Not about us. I just...
268
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,555
I need your help with Jamie.
269
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,434
He's all fucked in the head.
And I've tried to do it myself,
270
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,561
but it's all that emotional shit
you're good at.
271
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,232
Also... you look nice.
272
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,067
You want my help with Jamie?
273
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,653
Yeah, and you look nice.
274
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,575
Both of you.
275
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,328
Thank you.
276
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:15,707
This cost two pounds
from a car boot sale, so...
277
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,000
All right.
278
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,294
You know, thank you.
279
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:30,889
This place is very charming.
280
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,600
Reminds of this Irish bar
I went to in Topeka.
281
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,769
Well, you probably don't wanna
share that with me.
282
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,688
The Irish part or the Topeka part?
283
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,231
Both, really.
284
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,440
No! No!
285
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,112
My turn. Excuse me.
286
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:54,037
Trying to follow the yellow brick road,
where the dogs of society keep on howling.
287
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:54,997
How's he doing?
288
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:58,000
Well, I'm ahead,
but he's better set up for the multiball.
289
00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:01,170
No, silly pants. How's he doing?
290
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,883
{\an8}Well, he's Ted.
291
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,843
Still running around in circles,
292
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:11,972
making sure everybody's okay without
accepting a drop of help for himself.
293
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,016
Pretty much. How you doing, Dottie?
294
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,226
Don't you worry about me.
295
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,980
Nah, y'all got enough cooking without
putting my troubles on your to-do list.
296
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,192
- Here you go.
- Thank you, Mae.
297
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:24,276
Cheers, Mae.
298
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,488
Mae, your pub is wonderful.
299
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,116
It's nothing like
that Irish place in Topeka.
300
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:33,785
I'll take your word for it.
301
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,207
So, you seeing anyone?
302
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,835
Had my heart ripped out of my chest,
stomped into a pulp,
303
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,379
and dragged through the town square
for everyone to ridicule.
304
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,007
Sweetie.
That's okay, you'll meet somebody.
305
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,091
No, I'm in love.
306
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,221
- Here. Wanna see a picture?
- Sure.
307
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,015
Your mum's a peach.
308
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,559
Oh, yeah. I-- Thanks.
309
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,772
Here, I'll swap with you. There you are.
310
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:05,692
You know, Ted, pinball is a lot more fun
if you use an actual ball.
311
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,782
Yeah. Well, I-- You know, I was letting
Coach and my mom catch up a little.
312
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,867
That's all.
313
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,874
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
314
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,460
They may not mean to, but they do.
315
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:30,551
They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you.
316
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:34,513
But they were fucked up in their turn
317
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,308
by fools in old-style hats and coats,
318
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:44,106
who half the time were soppy-stern
and half at one another's throats.
319
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,361
Man hands on misery to man.
320
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:52,030
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
321
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:58,328
Get out as early as you can
and don't have any kids yourself."
322
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:11,300
Hey, Ted. Your mum's the bollocks.
323
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,968
We just became friends on Facebook.
324
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,928
I didn't know you were almost
the drummer in Coldplay.
325
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,346
Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true.
326
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,140
It's amazing. It's incredible!
327
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,476
No way.
328
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,694
I can't take your bed, Teddy.
329
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:33,405
Mom, it's okay, all right?
I'll just sleep on the couch.
330
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,033
- No, I'll sleep on the couch.
- Well, then I'm gonna sleep
331
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,785
on the floor next to the couch,
and neither of us are gonna use the bed.
332
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:39,828
Please.
333
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,706
- Thank you.
- Okay.
334
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,043
- Not on the bed.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
335
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,961
Hey, I brought you something.
336
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,339
What? On the off chance
we'd bump into each other?
337
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,966
No, it's your clippings from back home.
338
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,224
I thought you'd want those.
339
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:04,228
I appreciate it.
340
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,189
So, what's your plan tomorrow?
341
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,691
Yeah, do you wanna come
to Manchester with us?
342
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,235
I don't know.
343
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,737
I mean, coming all the way to England
and not seeing a soccer match
344
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,073
is kind of like going to Rome
and not going to church
345
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:17,241
or getting your pocket picked.
346
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,410
Well, thank you,
but I think I'll just stay here.
347
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,664
I didn't get much sleep last week,
what with all that noisy sex from--
348
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,207
- not me-- the Australians.
- The Australians.
349
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,875
- Yes, no, I remember.
- Yeah. Exactly.
350
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,545
And you know how nervous I get
when I'm watching your games.
351
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,380
So I think I'll just stay put
352
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,091
and let you go beat the pants
off those Manchesterians.
353
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:35,384
Mancunians.
354
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,303
And then I'll have a home-cooked meal
waiting for you when you get back.
355
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,471
It's been too long.
356
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,433
Yeah. No, that'll be nice. Okay.
357
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,895
Well, then I'll see you in the morning.
358
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:48,939
Hey--
359
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:54,278
Are you still having those episodes?
360
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:58,490
- You know.
- The panic attacks.
361
00:19:58,490 --> 00:19:59,700
Yeah.
362
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,579
No, no. Not recently.
363
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,708
You know, I've actually been
talking to this therapist.
364
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,710
Let me guess. It's all my fault.
365
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,796
No, Mom. No, of course not. No, but--
366
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,550
Well, I mean, It's really helped.
367
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,177
Good, good, good, good, good, good.
368
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:21,180
Yeah. You ever thought
about talking to someone?
369
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:25,434
Oh, no. That is not my cup of tea.
And you know I love my tea.
370
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,062
Good night, Mom.
371
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,482
Good night, sweetie.
Thank you for the bed.
372
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,193
You're welcome.
373
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,668
Hey, hot dog. Y'all joining us today?
374
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:54,046
- Well, we're all in this together, Ted.
- Yeah.
375
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:56,298
I also received
a strongly worded text from Nora
376
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,175
demanding I stop using my private jet.
377
00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,259
Why?
378
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,512
- The environment.
- Oh, yeah.
379
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,097
- Goddamn environment.
- Yeah.
380
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,390
Yep.
381
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,475
All right.
382
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,273
Hi.
383
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:15,776
- Hey.
- How's he doing?
384
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,077
Fucking hell.
385
00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,203
I'll talk to him.
386
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:28,789
Right.
387
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:34,920
Ladies and gentlemen.
Let our journey commence.
388
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,758
Look at Ken.
Boy, he cleans up nice, don't he?
389
00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:41,677
- You should see him in drag.
- Really?
390
00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:47,015
There you go. Well take your time.
391
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:50,310
And while you wait, do snack on some nuts.
And I'll be back with your drinks.
392
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,311
- All right?
- Thank you.
393
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:54,773
Hey, hey. Oi, oi, oi.
Do you know who this is?
394
00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,233
Your son?
395
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:58,151
What? No.
396
00:21:58,151 --> 00:21:59,653
Our waiter?
397
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:03,740
Bloody hell, you two are a right pair.
No, I mean do you know who he was?
398
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,450
I don't know.
399
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,494
Only the manager of West Ham United.
400
00:22:08,871 --> 00:22:11,164
Right. You're the Wonder Kid.
401
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,125
Yes, that's it. I said Wonder Kid.
402
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:17,212
This man right here went
from kit man to assistant coach,
403
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:21,592
to manager, to top of the league,
and now he's my head waiter.
404
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:23,802
I'm so sorry.
405
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,263
Anyway, nice talking to you.
406
00:22:27,014 --> 00:22:29,683
Please try the fish.
We've got a ton of it out back.
407
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:32,394
- All right. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.
- Yep, yep.
408
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:35,731
Was it drugs? I done drugs. I get it.
409
00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:38,442
No, no. No, I just like working here.
410
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,028
And that's my girlfriend.
411
00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:46,116
Anyway, enjoy the nuts.
I'll go and get your drinks, okay?
412
00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,077
Definitely drugs.
413
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,329
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
414
00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:52,497
But which ones?
415
00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:15,062
Hi.
416
00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:16,188
Hey.
417
00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:18,106
Can I come in?
418
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,566
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
419
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,902
Come in. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, what's up, yeah?
420
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:25,948
I just wanted to come
and see how you're doing.
421
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,450
Roy told you.
422
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:32,412
Well, he's worried about you.
Is that okay?
423
00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:34,915
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
424
00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:37,584
I'm fine. I'm good. I'm great.
425
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:41,213
In fact,
I think I'm the best that I've ever been.
426
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:42,965
You know?
427
00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:49,179
There's something so sad about a suitcase.
Do you know what I mean? It's like--
428
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,643
It's like a drawer without a home.
429
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:00,774
Hey, Jamie. Look at me.
430
00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:04,862
- You've got a lot going on right now.
- There's a lot going on, yeah.
431
00:24:04,862 --> 00:24:07,739
This is the first time you've played
back home since you left.
432
00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,325
The crowd's gonna hate you.
433
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,871
And the person who's gonna be booing
the loudest in the crowd is your dad.
434
00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:15,497
I didn't think of that. Yeah.
435
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:18,000
And I know a lot of people
are shit-talking your hair online.
436
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,919
- They're what?
- No! Think about it.
437
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:22,588
If you guys win tomorrow,
438
00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:26,675
then you will be on the precipice
of achieving everything
439
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:27,926
that you've ever dreamed of.
440
00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:31,138
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!
441
00:24:31,138 --> 00:24:32,264
Sorry, Jamie.
442
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:52,576
Here.
443
00:24:53,577 --> 00:24:54,578
Cheers.
444
00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:57,331
How'd it go with Jamie?
445
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,249
Yeah, I fucked it. I made it worse.
446
00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,877
Shit.
447
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:04,796
Hello, Roy and Keeley.
448
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:08,175
Good to see you both
next to each other like before.
449
00:25:08,175 --> 00:25:11,386
No.
We're just sitting together as friends.
450
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:13,263
Yeah, and she just looks very nice.
451
00:25:14,932 --> 00:25:16,475
Nora Ephron.
452
00:25:17,059 --> 00:25:19,144
- I'm saying my apology.
- Who?
453
00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:20,562
Carl Bernstein's ex.
454
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:43,710
Don't cry, Shop Girl. Don't cry.
455
00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:48,757
I wanted it to be you.
456
00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:54,304
I wanted it to be you so badly.
457
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,124
I mean, Sleepless in Seattle is still
a far superior film.
458
00:26:22,124 --> 00:26:23,542
- Not now.
- I'm just saying.
459
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757
Whoo!
460
00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:35,846
All right. Listen up, you big softies.
461
00:26:35,846 --> 00:26:38,640
10:00 p.m., lights out.
Then get yourselves some beauty sleep
462
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,350
for tomorrow's big meet-cute
with Man City,
463
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:41,476
- you hear?
- Whoo!
464
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:43,145
All right, "Ephron" on three.
One, two, three!
465
00:26:43,145 --> 00:26:44,688
- Ephron!
- There you go.
466
00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:47,024
- That was Dave Chappelle.
- Yeah.
467
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:48,942
Not bad, yeah?
Hey, y'all seen that before?
468
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,986
- First time? First time, yeah?
- First time.
469
00:26:50,986 --> 00:26:52,404
It's a goody. It was a goody.
470
00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:55,157
You gotta see Sleepless in Seattle,
though. You know, this is why...
471
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,530
The fuck is he?
472
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:17,906
I don't know. You've lost him.
473
00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:21,034
- You said he went down here.
- I did not. You said that.
474
00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:23,328
No. I said he's in a tunnel,
475
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:26,248
- I didn't say he was in this tunnel.
- Well, there's no other tunnel, is there?
476
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:29,001
I don't believe it.
You've lost Jamie Tartt.
477
00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:31,420
- You can't lose Jamie Tartt.
- Well, you have.
478
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,298
- Fucking hell!
- Why are you following me?
479
00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:36,383
Just wanted to make sure you're okay,
you prick.
480
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:40,137
What's going on, Jamie?
Are you buying drugs?
481
00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:44,933
Come on.
482
00:28:55,235 --> 00:28:57,404
- Are you joking? Oi!
- How'd you miss?
483
00:28:59,114 --> 00:29:01,700
- Are you Jamie Tartt?
- Yeah.
484
00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,410
More like Jamie Fart.
485
00:29:03,410 --> 00:29:06,121
- Screw you, dickhead! Prick!
- Yeah, who are you?
486
00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:07,831
City's gonna fuck you up tomorrow.
487
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,666
Yeah, you spaz. You little twat!
488
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:11,877
- Yeah, it's not for you, pussy!
- Yeah, go on!
489
00:29:11,877 --> 00:29:13,879
- Walk. Bye!
- Bye.
490
00:29:13,879 --> 00:29:15,297
I smell your bum from here.
491
00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,011
Good lads.
492
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:23,222
Oh, my gosh!
493
00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:24,890
- That was sick!
- Come on!
494
00:29:24,890 --> 00:29:27,226
- Yes, yes!
- Yeah! Come on!
495
00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:34,858
Hey! Jamie!
496
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,109
How you doing, Simon?
497
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:39,112
- This is Keeley, that's Roy.
- Come on in, come on in.
498
00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:41,573
- How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man.
- Yeah, great.
499
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:42,616
- Hi!
- Hello.
500
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,201
Hello.
501
00:29:45,786 --> 00:29:47,746
Georgie, we've got visitors.
502
00:29:48,247 --> 00:29:50,457
What was that, love? Someone at the door?
503
00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:55,212
Hello, Mommy.
504
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,507
Jamie!
505
00:29:59,341 --> 00:30:02,845
Mommy, I'd like to introduce you
to Keeley, and this hairy prick's Roy.
506
00:30:02,845 --> 00:30:04,596
- Hi.
- Hey, you.
507
00:30:04,596 --> 00:30:07,349
Hi! It's lovely to finally meet you both.
508
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:09,810
I'd come and give you a hug,
but I'm not letting go of this one.
509
00:30:12,271 --> 00:30:13,272
There they go.
510
00:30:13,772 --> 00:30:16,066
Right, who wants some sweet treats?
511
00:30:16,066 --> 00:30:18,485
Look at your gorgeous face. I love it.
512
00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,655
- How have you been? Look at you.
- Mom. You look...
513
00:30:23,574 --> 00:30:26,743
It was just poopy.
You know, it really upset me.
514
00:30:27,536 --> 00:30:30,747
This guy on Twitter,
he kept saying that it was blonde,
515
00:30:30,747 --> 00:30:34,126
but I'm like,
"It's fucking walnut mist, mate."
516
00:30:34,126 --> 00:30:35,961
- Yeah, obviously.
- Yeah.
517
00:30:35,961 --> 00:30:38,046
He's done a lovely job. It's dead natural.
518
00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:44,094
- What do you think?
- It's really yummy.
519
00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:47,931
- Hey.
- It's fucking delicious.
520
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:52,436
Well, it's a Paul Hollywood recipe,
but I've gone a little bit rogue on it.
521
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,438
- Right.
- Babes,
522
00:30:55,022 --> 00:30:57,191
do you wanna give Roy and Keeley
the grand tour?
523
00:30:57,691 --> 00:30:58,859
Show them around a bit.
524
00:30:58,859 --> 00:31:01,361
Yes! Good idea. Thank-- Oops!
525
00:31:02,738 --> 00:31:05,824
Right, follow me. We will start
in the kitchen, aka my laboratory.
526
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:09,620
I've just got a new bain-marie,
and it's copperplated.
527
00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:12,581
Wow. What does that mean?
It sounds expensive.
528
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:20,589
Have you ever considered doing
a happy hour at the Taste of Athens?
529
00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:24,801
I've literally never thought about work
the second after leaving work.
530
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:26,428
Or even while there, really.
531
00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,853
I don't think you should work
there anymore.
532
00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:37,564
Why? I'm a great waiter.
533
00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:41,276
Yes.
It's weird how great of a waiter you are.
534
00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:47,324
But you're a coach.
They want you back at Richmond.
535
00:31:48,617 --> 00:31:49,743
You should go.
536
00:31:52,996 --> 00:31:55,457
Thing is, it didn't really end
too well for me there.
537
00:31:56,124 --> 00:32:00,420
I think a lot of that was my fault.
Well, it was all my fault.
538
00:32:02,089 --> 00:32:04,383
Look, after this season,
I'll try and get another coaching job,
539
00:32:04,383 --> 00:32:06,593
just not at Richmond, okay?
540
00:32:08,762 --> 00:32:11,723
I will. I promise. I just-- Yeah.
541
00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:18,897
Yeah? You hungry? Do you want food?
542
00:32:21,108 --> 00:32:23,986
Dunno. Can I have some nuts
while I think about it?
543
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,072
Right. Where are they?
544
00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:30,367
Here's the genius behind the nuts, okay?
545
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,162
They make people thirsty. Yeah?
546
00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:39,126
I'm giving away, what, five p on nuts
and taking in five quid on beer.
547
00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,587
That's smart. Right?
548
00:32:42,588 --> 00:32:44,631
Why am I the only person
thinking about this stuff?
549
00:32:46,758 --> 00:32:47,759
You doing all right?
550
00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,805
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
551
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,101
Okay.
552
00:32:58,478 --> 00:33:01,398
Come on. Out with it.
553
00:33:07,571 --> 00:33:08,572
You heard from Dad?
554
00:33:09,531 --> 00:33:10,616
No.
555
00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:13,785
Haven't heard from that
human ball sack in ages.
556
00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:16,788
You?
557
00:33:17,956 --> 00:33:19,208
No, not since Wembley.
558
00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,965
Thought I was finally rid of him, but...
559
00:33:31,345 --> 00:33:33,722
...I always did what I did...
560
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,936
because fuck him, you know?
561
00:33:38,936 --> 00:33:42,147
And now that I don't give a shit
about him, it's like...
562
00:33:49,238 --> 00:33:51,990
You know when some guys
can't make their willies go hard?
563
00:33:53,325 --> 00:33:54,451
You mean impotent?
564
00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:57,079
Yeah. It's like I got that, but...
565
00:33:59,957 --> 00:34:01,583
but it's like I got it in--
566
00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:06,004
It's like I got it in my soul.
567
00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:17,766
And here is the main attraction.
Jamie's room.
568
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,320
- Fucking hell.
- Yes.
569
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,822
Many posters have come and gone
over the years.
570
00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:35,284
Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo.
571
00:34:36,326 --> 00:34:38,411
But Roy Kent always remains.
572
00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:42,291
Meat pies are done. Excuse me.
573
00:34:46,253 --> 00:34:47,920
Fucking hell.
574
00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:51,300
Jamie...
575
00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:58,932
your father, he is who he is.
576
00:35:00,976 --> 00:35:04,521
And he is never, ever, ever gonna change.
577
00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:07,900
And like it or not,
578
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,653
you've ended up being who you are
so that you can prove him wrong.
579
00:35:15,365 --> 00:35:16,617
And you are amazing.
580
00:35:20,329 --> 00:35:21,705
You are.
581
00:35:27,211 --> 00:35:29,004
When you come on for England...
582
00:35:32,925 --> 00:35:35,177
Jesus, Jamie, I wept.
583
00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:38,805
I bawled me fucking eyes out.
584
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:49,441
And, yeah,
your dad will be in the stands tomorrow,
585
00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:51,818
pissed out of his head,
rooting against you.
586
00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:55,906
And it won't matter.
587
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:02,996
You don't have anything to prove
to that toerag.
588
00:36:11,630 --> 00:36:15,759
You're not lost, my sexy little baby.
589
00:36:19,555 --> 00:36:24,101
You're just not sure
which direction you're going in yet.
590
00:36:38,282 --> 00:36:40,909
This is fucking weird.
591
00:36:42,452 --> 00:36:45,622
There's a lot of weird to choose from.
Can you be more specific?
592
00:36:48,834 --> 00:36:49,835
You and me...
593
00:36:52,296 --> 00:36:54,715
sitting on Jamie Tartt's childhood bed...
594
00:36:57,009 --> 00:37:00,637
being all fucking concerned
about him and shit.
595
00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:08,061
Yeah. Good on us, Roy-o.
596
00:37:09,271 --> 00:37:10,439
Thanks, bud.
597
00:37:10,939 --> 00:37:12,524
You're welcome, pal.
598
00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:17,613
I don't wanna be friends.
599
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,576
- You don't?
- Uh-uh.
600
00:37:23,827 --> 00:37:27,206
I don't wanna be just friends.
601
00:37:37,299 --> 00:37:38,675
Roy--
602
00:37:38,675 --> 00:37:40,385
Well, guys,
I think we should probably get--
603
00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:45,974
- You good to go?
- Yeah.
604
00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:47,976
Yeah.
605
00:37:48,769 --> 00:37:49,770
Right.
606
00:38:00,697 --> 00:38:02,115
- I love you.
- I love you.
607
00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:04,159
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
608
00:38:04,743 --> 00:38:05,911
Right.
609
00:38:05,911 --> 00:38:07,371
Hey, listen to me.
610
00:38:07,371 --> 00:38:10,165
I don't care
if you lose by ten goals tomorrow.
611
00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:12,793
I just want you to be happy. Okay, Son?
612
00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:16,213
Okay. Love you, Mommy.
613
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,257
I love you.
614
00:38:19,716 --> 00:38:22,135
- See you soon.
- See you soon. All right, come on.
615
00:38:22,135 --> 00:38:24,263
- Off you go. Go home.
- All right. Bye.
616
00:38:25,055 --> 00:38:26,473
It was great to meet you.
617
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:28,183
Bye.
618
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:30,936
- One for the road.
- This way, babe.
619
00:38:30,936 --> 00:38:33,021
See you later. Love-- Love you.
620
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:42,155
We should go and have cocktails.
621
00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:55,210
...the latest in workout technology
like yoga mats!
622
00:38:56,253 --> 00:38:59,089
Manchester has much to offer
when it comes to arts and culture,
623
00:38:59,089 --> 00:39:02,259
{\an8}including the Greater Manchester
Police Museum!
624
00:39:03,427 --> 00:39:06,847
The rainy city is also known
as well for science and technology,
625
00:39:06,847 --> 00:39:10,434
{\an8}for it was right here in 1917
626
00:39:10,434 --> 00:39:14,229
{\an8}that
Ernest Rutherford first split the atom.
627
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:19,193
{\an8}And you'll split your sides laughing
at Manchester's many comedy clubs
628
00:39:19,193 --> 00:39:22,988
{\an8}and improvised murder mystery
dinner theaters. And, of course
629
00:39:22,988 --> 00:39:27,201
your trip wouldn't be complete
without heading to Etihad Stadium,
630
00:39:27,201 --> 00:39:31,622
- home of the Manchester...
- Blue moon
631
00:39:31,622 --> 00:39:38,128
You saw me standing alone
632
00:39:38,128 --> 00:39:44,927
{\an8}Without a dream in my heart
633
00:39:44,927 --> 00:39:50,974
Without a love of my own
634
00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:58,732
I said, blue moon
You saw me standing alone
635
00:39:58,732 --> 00:40:03,237
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own...
636
00:40:03,237 --> 00:40:06,657
Richmond should have a classic old song
for our fans to sing.
637
00:40:07,366 --> 00:40:11,203
We did. When Freddie Mercury
briefly owned the team in 1980,
638
00:40:11,203 --> 00:40:13,830
he tried to make "Fat Bottomed Girls"
the team anthem.
639
00:40:14,498 --> 00:40:17,251
- Didn't work out.
- Did a bunch of people get offended?
640
00:40:17,251 --> 00:40:19,753
Just the flat-bottomed girls really.
641
00:40:19,753 --> 00:40:21,004
Yeah.
642
00:40:21,004 --> 00:40:23,340
My father went to art school
with Freddie Mercury.
643
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:24,716
What?
644
00:40:24,716 --> 00:40:29,263
I mean, everyone always talks
about his amazing four-octave vocal range.
645
00:40:29,263 --> 00:40:31,265
But my father always insisted
646
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:34,852
that if you actually asked Freddie
what his greatest talent was,
647
00:40:34,852 --> 00:40:36,770
he would've said flipping straights.
648
00:40:38,772 --> 00:40:41,525
- Come on, Richmond!
- You lads still have a way!
649
00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:46,446
Hey! Hey!
650
00:40:46,446 --> 00:40:49,324
Hey, thanks for saving us a seat.
How long have you been waiting?
651
00:40:49,324 --> 00:40:51,034
Mae let me sleep here last night.
652
00:40:51,034 --> 00:40:53,871
- How many beers do you want?
- Three, Mae.
653
00:40:54,538 --> 00:40:57,958
How many beers do you want
if you can't order again before halftime?
654
00:40:58,625 --> 00:40:59,751
- Twelve.
- Twelve.
655
00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:04,006
Welcome, everyone. Today,
Manchester City hosts AFC Richmond.
656
00:41:04,006 --> 00:41:09,136
A first-ever win at the Etihad Stadium
for the Greyhounds, however unlikely,
657
00:41:09,136 --> 00:41:12,014
leaves the door open next week
for Ted Lasso's men
658
00:41:12,014 --> 00:41:15,684
{\an8}to complete the Cinderella story
their fans have been dreaming of.
659
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:17,269
There he is. Look at him.
660
00:41:17,269 --> 00:41:19,646
The City faithful
are letting Jamie Tartt know
661
00:41:19,646 --> 00:41:24,109
how they feel about their former player
who left them for reality television.
662
00:41:24,109 --> 00:41:25,736
Welcome home, dickhead!
663
00:41:26,778 --> 00:41:29,531
Perhaps not the homecoming
he might have dreamt of.
664
00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:31,742
Oh, boy.
665
00:41:31,742 --> 00:41:35,454
Come on, Son. That's it, that's it.
Fucking bastards.
666
00:41:35,454 --> 00:41:37,998
City can clinch the title
with a win today.
667
00:41:37,998 --> 00:41:41,335
A loss makes things
very interesting next week.
668
00:41:41,335 --> 00:41:45,464
We find out in 90 minutes that starts now.
669
00:41:51,637 --> 00:41:52,721
Clattered!
670
00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:55,015
Tartt can expect a lot of that today.
671
00:42:03,148 --> 00:42:06,777
Here are some complimentary nuts.
And I'll be back to get your drinks. Okay?
672
00:42:07,486 --> 00:42:11,156
Physical play from City
as Tartt pushes Richmond forward.
673
00:42:12,157 --> 00:42:14,910
- Tartt has options.
- Colin's open.
674
00:42:17,162 --> 00:42:19,331
A nifty move finds Bumbercatch.
675
00:42:19,331 --> 00:42:22,042
The Swiss crosses to the far post. Hughes!
676
00:42:22,668 --> 00:42:24,378
- The match has barely begun...
- Yes.
677
00:42:24,378 --> 00:42:29,424
...and the Welshman fires the Greyhounds
into the lead with a commanding header.
678
00:42:29,424 --> 00:42:30,843
There we go.
679
00:42:30,843 --> 00:42:34,346
That goal was all down to Tartt.
He's seeing two passes ahead.
680
00:42:34,346 --> 00:42:37,474
Brilliant play indeed
from the unsinkable Jamie Tartt.
681
00:42:37,474 --> 00:42:42,271
Colin Hughes with the exclamation point,
and Richmond leads 1-nil.
682
00:42:48,318 --> 00:42:49,319
Yes!
683
00:42:51,196 --> 00:42:52,573
Leslie, what you doing?
684
00:42:52,573 --> 00:42:55,284
I'll celebrate
when the final whistle has blown.
685
00:42:55,284 --> 00:42:57,077
I don't wanna move and jinx it.
686
00:42:58,370 --> 00:42:59,371
Okay.
687
00:43:03,709 --> 00:43:05,919
With the great Pep Guardiola
at the controls,
688
00:43:05,919 --> 00:43:09,131
rest assured,
City won't be quaking in their boots.
689
00:43:09,131 --> 00:43:11,925
What's this sharp-dressed son of a gun
got cookin' now, huh?
690
00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:13,010
Go.
691
00:43:13,010 --> 00:43:15,512
We know Pep will make
the right adjustments. He always does.
692
00:43:15,512 --> 00:43:16,597
Hold on tight.
693
00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:18,432
All right! Here we go!
694
00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:22,728
Halftime approaches, and the
Premier League title remains undecided.
695
00:43:24,271 --> 00:43:27,357
Jamie Tartt's hometown fans
are still letting him have it.
696
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,236
City continuing to target
Richmond's number nine.
697
00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:34,031
Case in point,
as Tartt is knocked off the ball.
698
00:43:38,076 --> 00:43:39,953
And here comes City.
699
00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:43,999
De Villardi shoots!
Van Damme makes a terrific save.
700
00:43:46,543 --> 00:43:50,130
City making Tartt fight
for every inch out there.
701
00:43:52,382 --> 00:43:54,968
Piss off back down South, pretty boy!
702
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:58,180
Tough crowd, Jamie Tartt. Tough crowd.
703
00:43:58,764 --> 00:44:00,265
We're in the 65th minute.
704
00:44:00,265 --> 00:44:03,560
And since Richmond's early goal,
it's been one-way traffic.
705
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,398
City asking plenty of questions,
but so far Richmond are not listening.
706
00:44:10,943 --> 00:44:13,070
Oh, a sliver of space for De Villardi.
707
00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,489
Is this the equalizer?
708
00:44:15,489 --> 00:44:19,451
No! A swashbuckling save
by the masked Canadian.
709
00:44:19,451 --> 00:44:20,911
Van damn he's been good today!
710
00:44:20,911 --> 00:44:22,287
Come on!
711
00:44:22,287 --> 00:44:23,372
Yeah!
712
00:44:23,372 --> 00:44:25,832
Nearing the 80-minute mark,
713
00:44:25,832 --> 00:44:27,459
Richmond are defending
their one-goal lead.
714
00:44:29,378 --> 00:44:31,213
{\an8}Ndour takes the corner.
715
00:44:31,213 --> 00:44:34,466
{\an8}Van Damme races off his line to punch,
but it finds Elokobi.
716
00:44:34,466 --> 00:44:36,218
{\an8}De Villardi has an open goal.
717
00:44:36,218 --> 00:44:39,388
{\an8}- Jamie Tartt soars to clear the danger!
- Yes, Jamie!
718
00:44:40,889 --> 00:44:41,890
Yes, Jamie!
719
00:44:42,558 --> 00:44:46,311
Oh, no. It looks like Tartt
is in quite a bit of pain.
720
00:44:46,895 --> 00:44:48,105
It's his ankle, Arlo.
721
00:44:48,105 --> 00:44:51,024
- He landed on it wrong.
- Get up, you soft prick!
722
00:44:53,652 --> 00:44:54,653
Come on.
723
00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:55,988
Is he okay?
724
00:44:56,488 --> 00:44:57,489
Let's go.
725
00:45:00,284 --> 00:45:01,410
Roberts! Get warm.
726
00:45:01,910 --> 00:45:03,453
- I'm good, good. Go, bro. Go, go.
- You good?
727
00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:10,169
Now, hold on. He's up, he's up, he's up. Okay.
728
00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:12,045
It appears he'll give it a go.
729
00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:15,757
Good news for Richmond, who
can ill afford to play without their star.
730
00:45:15,757 --> 00:45:18,093
Not with this much at stake.
731
00:45:24,641 --> 00:45:26,059
We may have spoken too soon, Chris.
732
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:30,439
Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he's in
some distress and may require attention.
733
00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:31,523
Oh, my God.
734
00:45:38,071 --> 00:45:39,114
Up you go.
735
00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:41,158
Get you on the walk.
736
00:45:41,742 --> 00:45:43,410
Fudge.
737
00:45:50,834 --> 00:45:52,085
- We're finished. We're done.
- Come on.
738
00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:53,795
- We're done.
- Come on, James.
739
00:45:56,757 --> 00:45:58,967
Roberts! You're going in.
740
00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:00,594
Whoa, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey,
741
00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:02,304
hey, don't hop out there
quite yet, Tan, okay?
742
00:46:02,888 --> 00:46:05,224
- Coach, we're a man down.
- I know, Coach. Just give me one second.
743
00:46:06,725 --> 00:46:08,852
Hey, Jamie, are you sure
you can't get back out there?
744
00:46:10,187 --> 00:46:11,396
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
745
00:46:11,396 --> 00:46:12,689
No.
746
00:46:12,689 --> 00:46:14,191
- Hey, Coach!
- Yeah.
747
00:46:14,191 --> 00:46:15,567
You wanna play with ten men?
748
00:46:15,567 --> 00:46:18,237
Heck yeah! Right?
749
00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:20,739
We're just gonna wait and see, okay?
750
00:46:21,657 --> 00:46:23,283
And we'll check in on you, all right?
751
00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:26,495
You two, do me a favor. Heal him.
Use all your tricks, please.
752
00:46:28,163 --> 00:46:30,666
Okay. Yeah.
We're gonna give him a couple minutes.
753
00:46:30,666 --> 00:46:33,544
- He's gonna be fine. Here we go. Come on!
- Ted Lasso elects to wait,
754
00:46:33,544 --> 00:46:37,089
leaving ten Greyhounds
against City's mighty 11.
755
00:46:37,714 --> 00:46:39,591
City looking for the equalizer.
756
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:42,845
And Orellano shoots.
Van Damme is there! And there again!
757
00:46:44,137 --> 00:46:45,430
And again!
758
00:46:45,430 --> 00:46:48,851
There's just no penetrating
the mask of Van Damme!
759
00:46:48,851 --> 00:46:51,186
With his team facing relentless pressure,
760
00:46:51,186 --> 00:46:52,980
Ted Lasso is gambling with each
761
00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:55,232
- passing second he plays with a man down.
- I'm gonna need a word, Nate.
762
00:46:55,232 --> 00:46:56,608
- In my office, yeah?
- Yeah.
763
00:46:56,608 --> 00:46:59,236
I love gambling. Makes me feel alive.
764
00:46:59,236 --> 00:47:01,530
You should probably talk
to somebody about that, Chris.
765
00:47:02,698 --> 00:47:05,200
Hello, mate. Come in. Take a seat.
766
00:47:06,201 --> 00:47:07,119
Here we go.
767
00:47:11,498 --> 00:47:12,791
Am I getting promoted?
768
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:14,710
Nate, I gotta let you go.
769
00:47:16,879 --> 00:47:19,131
- Was it 'cause I was watching telly?
- No.
770
00:47:19,131 --> 00:47:20,465
I'm not pushing desserts hard enough?
771
00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:22,885
No, no, no. It's nothing you've done.
772
00:47:22,885 --> 00:47:27,764
You're my top man. You're on time,
you don't steal, you're sober.
773
00:47:28,265 --> 00:47:30,517
You're like my little unicorn.
You know what I mean?
774
00:47:31,268 --> 00:47:35,522
And it breaks my heart to say this,
but Jade said if I didn't fire you,
775
00:47:35,522 --> 00:47:37,024
she was gonna report me to the--
776
00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:40,027
Well, I can't say who,
because then you'd know what I've done.
777
00:47:40,027 --> 00:47:43,739
But my hands are tied. You gotta go.
778
00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:47,409
Yeah.
779
00:47:55,167 --> 00:47:56,418
Yeah!
780
00:47:56,418 --> 00:47:58,170
Chris,
Richmond aren't playing with a keeper.
781
00:47:58,170 --> 00:48:00,255
They've got a brick wall
in front of the goal.
782
00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:03,175
No, Arlo, that's a person.
I can see his arms and legs.
783
00:48:03,175 --> 00:48:04,718
And his hideous mask.
784
00:48:04,718 --> 00:48:08,305
It seems like it's only
a matter of time before City equalize.
785
00:48:08,305 --> 00:48:11,517
That's all they need
to clinch the league title today.
786
00:48:11,517 --> 00:48:13,519
Hey, Coach,
I don't want Jamie to play hurt.
787
00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:15,437
But we gotta make a decision here.
788
00:48:15,437 --> 00:48:16,897
Personally,
I'm fine with him playing hurt.
789
00:48:16,897 --> 00:48:18,106
I played hurt all the time.
790
00:48:18,106 --> 00:48:19,566
You can't walk up stairs.
791
00:48:19,566 --> 00:48:22,027
Okay. Let me go check, all right?
792
00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:25,531
Thanks, y'all. Thank you.
793
00:48:28,283 --> 00:48:29,785
What you looking for up there, Jamie?
794
00:48:30,369 --> 00:48:33,539
Looking for my dad. I can't find him.
It's freaking me the fuck out.
795
00:48:33,539 --> 00:48:34,665
Yeah, I get that.
796
00:48:34,665 --> 00:48:37,125
It's like when you don't know
where Freddy Krueger is.
797
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:39,044
'Cause you know it's the second
he's gonna pop up
798
00:48:39,044 --> 00:48:40,712
and stick that knife-hand of his
in your face.
799
00:48:40,712 --> 00:48:42,631
Yeah, Freddy Krueger's fucking terrifying.
800
00:48:42,631 --> 00:48:44,383
Yeah, well, he had a rough childhood.
801
00:48:44,383 --> 00:48:46,051
And as we all know,
hurt people hurt people.
802
00:48:46,051 --> 00:48:48,095
Sometimes they just do it
with their knife-hands.
803
00:48:48,595 --> 00:48:49,888
When's the last time you saw your dad?
804
00:48:51,056 --> 00:48:52,140
Wembley.
805
00:48:54,142 --> 00:48:55,143
Y'all talk since then?
806
00:48:56,061 --> 00:48:56,895
Nope.
807
00:48:58,438 --> 00:49:00,399
Okay. If you could talk to him now,
what would you say?
808
00:49:00,399 --> 00:49:02,192
I'd say, "Fuck you."
809
00:49:02,192 --> 00:49:03,527
Yeah. Makes sense.
810
00:49:04,152 --> 00:49:05,988
- Anything else?
- Yeah.
811
00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:08,991
Yeah, I'd say, "Thank you."
812
00:49:13,579 --> 00:49:16,331
You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops
ain't motivating you like it used to,
813
00:49:16,331 --> 00:49:18,000
it might be time
to try something different.
814
00:49:20,002 --> 00:49:21,170
Just forgive him.
815
00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:23,839
Fuck no. I ain't giving him that.
816
00:49:23,839 --> 00:49:25,549
No. You ain't giving him anything.
817
00:49:26,049 --> 00:49:29,595
When you choose to do that,
you're giving that to yourself.
818
00:49:37,227 --> 00:49:38,854
- Come on.
- Okay.
819
00:49:40,355 --> 00:49:41,356
How do you feel?
820
00:49:42,608 --> 00:49:45,986
- Yeah. Yeah, I feel good, Coach. Yeah.
- Yeah. See, the talk helped, right?
821
00:49:47,112 --> 00:49:49,281
Mostly the painkillers and the adrenaline,
I think. But--
822
00:49:49,781 --> 00:49:51,783
But yeah, the talk helped, yeah.
823
00:49:51,783 --> 00:49:54,620
Good. Now get your buns out there.
Let's go.
824
00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:56,038
Okay, okay.
825
00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:06,381
Come on.
826
00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:12,930
Here we fucking go. Come on, Jamie!
827
00:50:14,306 --> 00:50:17,392
Jamie Tartt
with a dramatic return to play.
828
00:50:17,392 --> 00:50:20,896
And he makes sure
he lets the City fans know all about it.
829
00:50:22,606 --> 00:50:25,817
That's it, baby! You fucking show 'em!
830
00:50:29,988 --> 00:50:31,031
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
831
00:50:31,031 --> 00:50:33,408
Jamie Tartt, do, do, do, do, do, do
832
00:50:33,408 --> 00:50:35,244
Jamie Tartt
Do, do, do, do, do, do
833
00:50:36,662 --> 00:50:41,041
Richmond have their backs
against the wall. It's De Villardi again.
834
00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:43,168
But Van Damme collects comfortably.
835
00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:48,590
And the Canadian, wasting no time,
finds McAdoo. And Richmond are off!
836
00:50:49,842 --> 00:50:51,927
Oh, that's astonishing control from Tartt!
837
00:50:51,927 --> 00:50:53,387
Ooh! Ooh!
838
00:50:53,387 --> 00:50:56,139
What's happening? Thank you.
839
00:50:57,391 --> 00:50:58,475
Tartt cuts inside.
840
00:50:59,518 --> 00:51:00,519
And again.
841
00:51:01,937 --> 00:51:03,689
Oh, he's untouchable!
842
00:51:14,241 --> 00:51:17,202
- Go, Jamie!
- Yes! Yeah!
843
00:51:20,581 --> 00:51:24,126
And Jamie Tartt
all but clinches the win for Richmond
844
00:51:24,126 --> 00:51:26,920
- with a spectacular solo goal!
- My goodness! Did you see that?
845
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,590
Yes, Jamie!
846
00:51:31,049 --> 00:51:33,343
And a class move
from the native Mancunian,
847
00:51:33,343 --> 00:51:36,471
not to celebrate against his former club.
848
00:51:40,601 --> 00:51:43,312
And Richmond with a late substitution.
849
00:51:48,609 --> 00:51:49,610
Attaboy, Jamie!
850
00:51:53,155 --> 00:51:54,239
Well done.
851
00:51:57,201 --> 00:51:59,411
Jamie Tartt, you fucking king!
852
00:52:01,121 --> 00:52:02,247
{\an8}Tartt makes way.
853
00:52:02,247 --> 00:52:05,501
{\an8}And listen to this response
from the City supporters,
854
00:52:05,501 --> 00:52:09,004
{\an8}an ovation for a visiting player
who was also one of their own.
855
00:52:09,004 --> 00:52:11,798
- You don't hear this every day.
- Come on.
856
00:52:11,798 --> 00:52:14,551
Just think of what it means
for Tartt to hear this.
857
00:52:14,551 --> 00:52:17,179
- And what it means for his family.
- Yes. Oh, my God.
858
00:52:17,888 --> 00:52:19,139
Oh, my God.
859
00:52:24,645 --> 00:52:27,272
- Fucking beautiful.
- That was amazing.
860
00:52:36,156 --> 00:52:37,157
Jamie.
861
00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:47,668
He's a tough kid.
862
00:52:47,668 --> 00:52:49,336
His dad would have been proud.
863
00:52:55,592 --> 00:52:57,052
Credit where it's due.
864
00:52:57,052 --> 00:53:00,389
Lasso rolled the dice on Tartt's fitness
and the team's talisman
865
00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:01,932
rose to the occasion.
866
00:53:03,684 --> 00:53:06,687
With time running out,
City try and cross into the box.
867
00:53:06,687 --> 00:53:08,146
But again, Van Damme is there.
868
00:53:13,277 --> 00:53:16,405
And after
that sterling performance from Richmond,
869
00:53:16,405 --> 00:53:19,992
the Premier League title will come down
to the final week of the season.
870
00:53:19,992 --> 00:53:22,619
Chris, they could win
the whole effing thing!
871
00:53:22,619 --> 00:53:25,205
Sorry for
the almost brutal language there, folks.
872
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:26,623
It's that time. Holy crap.
873
00:53:27,833 --> 00:53:30,669
- Good game. Congratulations.
- Thanks, Coach. I appreciate it.
874
00:53:30,669 --> 00:53:33,005
Hey, I gotta be honest with you.
You're a tough guy to beat, man.
875
00:53:33,589 --> 00:53:36,091
Nah, don't worry about wins or losses.
876
00:53:36,091 --> 00:53:39,553
Just help these guys be the best version
of themselves on and off the pitch.
877
00:53:39,553 --> 00:53:41,221
This, at the end,
is the most important thing.
878
00:53:41,221 --> 00:53:42,848
I couldn't agree more, Coach.
879
00:53:42,848 --> 00:53:44,349
All right, then. Take care.
880
00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:51,690
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
881
00:53:51,690 --> 00:53:54,234
- Boss. Hey, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
882
00:54:27,851 --> 00:54:30,395
- All right, lads. Listen up.
- All right. Yo, what's up?
883
00:54:30,395 --> 00:54:32,606
We've got one more game, so that means
884
00:54:32,606 --> 00:54:35,317
a glass of water with every single
alcoholic beverage tonight, all right?
885
00:54:36,777 --> 00:54:38,946
- We rolling?
- No, no. I've gotta get this sorted out.
886
00:54:38,946 --> 00:54:40,405
But you have fun with your water, yeah?
887
00:54:44,368 --> 00:54:46,036
- There's my lad. Do you proud.
- Nice.
888
00:54:46,036 --> 00:54:48,121
- Yeah, you bet, bruv. All right, love.
- Hey, take care, bruv.
889
00:54:48,121 --> 00:54:49,373
- Love.
- That's what I like, man.
890
00:54:49,373 --> 00:54:50,999
- Be good. Be good.
- Rest up, man.
891
00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:52,835
Hey, listen, man.
I wanna say I'm proud of you.
892
00:54:52,835 --> 00:54:55,420
- You played so well today, man.
- Appreciate it, man.
893
00:54:55,420 --> 00:54:57,756
- You scored a goal. Come on. Hey.
- Thanks, Jamie.
894
00:54:57,756 --> 00:54:59,550
Get better soon, hermano.
Well done tonight.
895
00:54:59,550 --> 00:55:01,301
Thank you, man. Big love, amigo.
896
00:55:09,351 --> 00:55:11,270
All right, buddy.
897
00:55:11,770 --> 00:55:13,522
I will see you at karaoke.
898
00:55:13,522 --> 00:55:16,692
I will of course sign us up
for "Islands in the Stream."
899
00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:18,360
But I'm calling dibs on Dolly.
900
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:19,862
No can do, Coach.
901
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,615
Mom's cooking dinner tonight.
Last night in town.
902
00:55:23,615 --> 00:55:25,909
All right. Well, give Dottie my love.
903
00:55:25,909 --> 00:55:30,664
Will do. Actually, hold on a sec, Coach.
Come here. Check this out.
904
00:55:36,336 --> 00:55:38,755
No, no. I know you've already seen it.
905
00:55:38,755 --> 00:55:41,341
I just don't know if you've watched
the whole thing. Look. Look, look.
906
00:55:42,926 --> 00:55:43,927
All right.
907
00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,513
So look. After we came in,
908
00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:50,267
Nate had to hide under my desk here
for, like, three whole hours
909
00:55:50,267 --> 00:55:53,687
while we were all whooping and hollering
and celebrating all around him.
910
00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:58,442
Then, once we all split,
he thought he was in the clear.
911
00:55:59,067 --> 00:56:01,111
And boom! Cleaning crew shows up.
912
00:56:01,111 --> 00:56:05,532
Oh, man. That's another two hours
under that desk. Yep.
913
00:56:08,035 --> 00:56:10,871
Well, then after they leave,
he crawls out.
914
00:56:11,496 --> 00:56:14,666
His legs just gotta be jelly.
He can barely stand up.
915
00:56:14,666 --> 00:56:17,794
Look at this. He goes to check the doors,
but they're all locked!
916
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,632
Oh, man, that son of a gun
917
00:56:21,632 --> 00:56:24,551
had to climb out the window here
just to get out of the building.
918
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,140
You know, I don't know about you, Coach.
919
00:56:30,140 --> 00:56:35,604
But I hope that either all of us
or none of us are judged
920
00:56:35,604 --> 00:56:37,898
by the actions of our weakest moments,
921
00:56:39,274 --> 00:56:41,944
but rather by the strength we show
922
00:56:41,944 --> 00:56:46,573
when and if we're ever given
a second chance.
923
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:51,703
All right, have fun tonight, Coach.
924
00:56:54,206 --> 00:56:58,210
And we rely on each other, ah ha
925
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:05,008
Fuck.
926
00:57:23,652 --> 00:57:26,446
- Hi.
- Hey. What are you guys doing?
927
00:57:26,446 --> 00:57:28,407
We thought we'd come and keep you company.
928
00:57:28,407 --> 00:57:30,367
- Fucking celebrate.
- Yeah!
929
00:57:31,076 --> 00:57:33,579
'Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie.
930
00:57:34,246 --> 00:57:35,747
Yeah, I was fucking amazing. You're right.
931
00:57:36,748 --> 00:57:37,583
Yes.
932
00:57:40,711 --> 00:57:43,130
- You start us off.
- Don't mind if I do.
933
00:57:43,130 --> 00:57:46,341
Right. What the fuck happened, man?
934
00:57:48,010 --> 00:57:49,261
Did I look sexy?
935
00:57:52,890 --> 00:57:55,225
Shame you weren't injured
in your fucking head, innit?
936
00:57:59,479 --> 00:58:00,480
I'm back.
937
00:58:02,357 --> 00:58:03,358
Hey, babe. You all right?
938
00:58:03,358 --> 00:58:05,527
Someone never came for their pickup order.
939
00:58:06,195 --> 00:58:08,113
Thank you. Great.
940
00:58:10,449 --> 00:58:15,370
So, I don't know if you heard,
but Derek fired me today.
941
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:18,415
That bastard!
942
00:58:18,415 --> 00:58:21,210
Yeah. I was devastated.
943
00:58:23,754 --> 00:58:26,924
But it made me realize that even though
there's only one match left,
944
00:58:26,924 --> 00:58:29,593
I have to go back to Richmond.
To make things right.
945
00:58:31,929 --> 00:58:33,514
Currently writing Ted an apology letter.
946
00:58:33,514 --> 00:58:36,683
It's 60 pages, but I'm just looking
for a few trims, so...
947
00:58:38,602 --> 00:58:39,728
Two secs.
948
00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:42,523
Sixty pages.
949
00:58:45,317 --> 00:58:46,151
Oh, my God.
950
00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:00,624
You here to kill me?
951
00:59:02,292 --> 00:59:04,127
Ted and I met playing college football.
952
00:59:05,504 --> 00:59:08,173
He was the backup punter.
I was the backup kicker.
953
00:59:08,173 --> 00:59:09,508
We never got in a game,
954
00:59:10,133 --> 00:59:13,971
but we spent a lot of time together,
jogging and doing box jumps.
955
00:59:15,347 --> 00:59:16,890
After school, we went our separate ways.
956
00:59:16,890 --> 00:59:19,434
And he was dating Michelle,
got into coaching.
957
00:59:20,310 --> 00:59:21,395
And I got into prison.
958
00:59:22,938 --> 00:59:24,106
When I got paroled...
959
00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:29,486
I had no money, family didn't want me.
I had nowhere to go.
960
00:59:30,404 --> 00:59:31,530
So I looked up Ted.
961
00:59:33,699 --> 00:59:36,034
He took me in, fed me.
962
00:59:37,202 --> 00:59:38,579
Let me crash on his couch.
963
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,333
And in return, I stole his car.
964
00:59:45,544 --> 00:59:46,545
Now, I didn't get far.
965
00:59:48,088 --> 00:59:51,633
And I would've gone straight back
to prison if Ted didn't come down there
966
00:59:51,633 --> 00:59:54,636
and convince those cops
that he gave me the car.
967
00:59:55,679 --> 00:59:56,680
Just like in Les Mis.
968
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,932
Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes.
969
00:59:59,516 --> 01:00:01,185
- You went to prison?
- Yes.
970
01:00:01,185 --> 01:00:02,978
For stealing a loaf of meth.
971
01:00:05,230 --> 01:00:06,690
And then I stole from my friend.
972
01:00:09,067 --> 01:00:10,152
Who forgave me.
973
01:00:12,487 --> 01:00:15,824
And gave me a job. And a life.
974
01:00:19,203 --> 01:00:22,164
So to honor that, I forgive you.
975
01:00:24,124 --> 01:00:28,337
I offer you a job.
And the life part's up to you.
976
01:00:35,552 --> 01:00:36,678
Thank you.
977
01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:46,605
You sure you don't wanna headbutt me?
I think it might make us feel better.
978
01:01:01,912 --> 01:01:04,039
Monday, 10:00 a.m.
979
01:01:30,899 --> 01:01:33,735
- Hello?
- Welcome home, honey.
980
01:01:33,735 --> 01:01:37,614
- Come take a seat, you must be starving.
- Yeah, okay.
981
01:01:37,614 --> 01:01:40,784
Hey, congratulations on your big win.
982
01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:44,371
I didn't know if you'd be in the mood
for meat loaf or lasagna, so I made both.
983
01:01:49,293 --> 01:01:53,130
- Mom, what's wrong? Why are you here?
- What do you mean?
984
01:01:53,130 --> 01:01:55,799
I mean, if you got something
you need to say to me,
985
01:01:56,466 --> 01:01:58,218
I'd appreciate it
if you just went ahead and said it.
986
01:01:58,218 --> 01:02:02,514
Oh, stop. I just want to spend
my last night in London with my son
987
01:02:02,514 --> 01:02:04,433
and make sure everything's all right.
988
01:02:06,101 --> 01:02:07,102
Yeah, okay.
989
01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:10,063
Well, thank you for cooking dinner.
Both of 'em.
990
01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,607
Oh, you're welcome.
991
01:02:13,609 --> 01:02:16,987
- And fuck you for not wanting to talk.
- Excuse me?
992
01:02:16,987 --> 01:02:20,032
Thank you for flying all the way here
to come see me,
993
01:02:20,032 --> 01:02:21,909
and fuck you for not telling me
you were coming.
994
01:02:23,118 --> 01:02:27,623
Thank you for all the small, silly, little
things you did for me as a kid, you know?
995
01:02:27,623 --> 01:02:29,750
Like hiding notes in my lunch box
996
01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:34,379
or putting googly eyes on the fruit
at the supermarket just to make me laugh.
997
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,008
And fuck you for not working on yourself
998
01:02:38,008 --> 01:02:40,385
or seeking help after we lost dad.
999
01:02:40,886 --> 01:02:42,721
And for not talking to me about it either.
1000
01:02:42,721 --> 01:02:47,267
Just glossing over the whole thing
and acting like everything was all right.
1001
01:02:50,854 --> 01:02:52,648
I'm sorry.
1002
01:02:57,319 --> 01:02:59,238
I didn't know what to do, Ted.
1003
01:02:59,238 --> 01:03:03,367
So, I pretended I was okay.
1004
01:03:03,367 --> 01:03:05,869
Okay. Well, thank you for the apology.
1005
01:03:06,370 --> 01:03:08,622
And fuck you for making me think
I had to pretend too.
1006
01:03:09,706 --> 01:03:13,293
All right.
I appreciate you sharing all this with me.
1007
01:03:15,045 --> 01:03:17,673
I just wish you hadn't carried it around
for so long.
1008
01:03:17,673 --> 01:03:18,924
Yeah, okay.
1009
01:03:19,508 --> 01:03:23,095
And you're right, Ted,
I do have something to say to you.
1010
01:03:26,056 --> 01:03:27,391
Your son misses you.
1011
01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:33,814
Yeah, I know.
1012
01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:37,776
I miss him too.
1013
01:03:47,035 --> 01:03:48,036
It's just like I--
1014
01:03:49,246 --> 01:03:53,584
It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like--
1015
01:03:55,043 --> 01:03:57,004
to get close to that little boy.
1016
01:03:57,754 --> 01:03:59,464
Oh, honey, why?
1017
01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:05,220
'Cause I know he's gonna leave.
1018
01:04:11,059 --> 01:04:12,144
Oh, well...
1019
01:04:14,730 --> 01:04:18,025
God. No, no, no, no. You know--
1020
01:04:18,025 --> 01:04:20,444
All right.
That is the thing about being a parent.
1021
01:04:21,653 --> 01:04:23,572
Sometimes you lose and
1022
01:04:24,781 --> 01:04:27,743
sometimes you win,
but most of the time you just tie.
1023
01:04:31,538 --> 01:04:34,499
All we can do is keep playing.
1024
01:04:36,335 --> 01:04:37,336
Right.
1025
01:04:43,842 --> 01:04:44,927
Thank you.
1026
01:04:47,262 --> 01:04:48,263
Fuck you.
1027
01:04:52,809 --> 01:04:54,394
Oh, my goodness.
1028
01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:57,314
I'm sorry about that. I--
1029
01:04:58,857 --> 01:05:00,442
You know what?
Let me make it up to you, okay?
1030
01:05:00,442 --> 01:05:04,238
Why don't you take a seat?
And I'll serve you dinner for once, okay?
1031
01:05:04,238 --> 01:05:08,617
- What? Okay.
- Come on now, pop a squat. Go on.
1032
01:05:08,617 --> 01:05:09,701
Yeah, yeah.
1033
01:05:11,495 --> 01:05:16,416
Hey. You know, this therapist
must be doing you some good.
1034
01:05:16,416 --> 01:05:17,584
Oh, boy.
1035
01:05:18,502 --> 01:05:20,337
I'm gonna leave her out of this.
1036
01:05:20,337 --> 01:05:24,383
Oh, wait till she hears about this. Okay.
You know what? Let's start with the wine.
1037
01:05:24,383 --> 01:05:25,634
Let's do, please.
1038
01:05:30,138 --> 01:05:32,140
- Bex.
- Hi.
1039
01:05:32,641 --> 01:05:36,562
Sorry to just show up like this.
I need some advice.
1040
01:05:37,938 --> 01:05:40,232
- Okay.
- Can we come in?
1041
01:05:40,816 --> 01:05:41,817
We?
1042
01:05:47,489 --> 01:05:48,490
Of course.
1043
01:07:00,646 --> 01:07:01,813
Morning, Will.
1044
01:07:01,813 --> 01:07:03,190
Hey. Good morning, Ted.
1045
01:07:12,032 --> 01:07:14,201
- Hey, Boss.
- Hello, Ted.
1046
01:07:15,035 --> 01:07:16,537
Do you know this John Wooden?
1047
01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:18,747
No, ma'am.
Never had the chance to meet him.
1048
01:07:18,747 --> 01:07:20,332
Oh, pity. I like this.
1049
01:07:21,083 --> 01:07:23,168
I mean, if you don't like that,
you don't like ice cream.
1050
01:07:24,753 --> 01:07:25,754
What's up?
1051
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:29,883
- Do you know what time it is?
- 9:30.
1052
01:07:29,883 --> 01:07:33,554
Or half nine as you folks say over here
for some goofy-ass reason.
1053
01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:36,348
- That's just to annoy Americans.
- Yeah.
1054
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:44,940
No, this is that time of year when I come
down here and reveal something to you.
1055
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,527
Oh, snap. That's right. Okay.
1056
01:07:49,278 --> 01:07:50,612
Well, here we go.
1057
01:07:51,780 --> 01:07:53,615
You know what?
Maybe I should guess this year.
1058
01:07:53,615 --> 01:07:55,325
No, no, no, that's silly. Yeah.
1059
01:07:55,325 --> 01:07:58,078
No, you just go ahead and tell me.
Go on, let 'er rip.
1060
01:08:00,122 --> 01:08:00,956
I've got nothing.
1061
01:08:02,374 --> 01:08:04,793
I really tried as well.
I mean, even on the walk over here,
1062
01:08:04,793 --> 01:08:07,880
I was thinking something would pop
into my head, but nope.
1063
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,424
Absolutely nothing. Sorry, Ted.
1064
01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:14,052
No truth bomb this year.
1065
01:08:14,845 --> 01:08:15,846
Well, that's okay.
1066
01:08:18,223 --> 01:08:19,224
I got one.