1
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,764
- [person] Hello, there.
- Hey, there.
2
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,390
- Hi, Ted.
- Howdy.
3
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,809
Hey, Ted. Good luck this weekend.
4
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,269
I appreciate you, Susan. [chuckles]
5
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,605
[imitates barking, chuckles]
6
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,441
Hey, Ms. Barnaby. Rough night?
7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,028
Ted, if it's not rough, it isn't fun.
8
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,530
[growls, chuckles]
9
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,448
Ooh, boy.
10
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,159
- Hiya.
- Hey, fellas. How you doing?
11
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,079
- [person 2] What's up, Coach?
- There she is.
12
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:41,333
Hey, wanker. Don't get all cocky
and fuck up that streak you're on.
13
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,960
What streak?
14
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,629
- Go Richmond.
- Yes, sir. [chuckles]
15
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,090
Morning.
16
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:49,967
Hey. How you doing?
17
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,099
- Mom?
- Hey, Teddy.
18
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,436
{\an8}[theme song plays]
19
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,717
Don't think the cleaners
actually cleaned the floor.
20
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,260
There are no cleaners.
21
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,053
So, why do we put the chairs
on the tables?
22
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,763
The patriarchy.
23
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,475
{\an8}Oh, okay. Oh, well. I'll just, um--
just go get a broom.
24
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,979
{\an8}[door opens, closes]
25
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,856
[whispers indistinctly]
26
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,441
{\an8}Hello.
27
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,777
{\an8}We're not open for another half hour.
Would you care to wait not here?
28
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,862
{\an8}- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
29
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,488
{\an8}- No, wait.
- [sighs]
30
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,575
{\an8}We're actually here to speak
with Nathan Shelley. He works here, yeah?
31
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,327
No such man exists.
32
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:01,413
[Nathan whistles, hums]
33
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,790
Oh, my God, it's true.
34
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,044
[stammers]
How did you go through your money so fast?
35
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,630
Did you get addicted to the limelight?
36
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,008
What? No.
No, I just-- I just like working here.
37
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,136
I like spending time with my girlfriend.
38
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,805
She was right there.
39
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,434
- That-- That was my girlfriend. She--
- Mm-hmm. Okay.
40
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,561
What are you guys doing here?
41
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,313
We want you to come back to Richmond.
42
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,611
- You do?
- Yeah, bruv.
43
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,113
'Cause this shit here is sad as fuck.
44
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,909
{\an8}And a-all of you? You want me to come...
45
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,703
{\an8}Yeah. It'll be good to have you back.
46
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,707
{\an8}The whole team talked about it,
and it was unanimous.
47
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,792
{\an8}Except for Bumbercatch.
48
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,295
Who abstained
because he's passionately antidemocratic.
49
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,922
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
50
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,006
Yeah.
51
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,468
{\an8}So, what? Ted asked you guys
to come here to get me to come back?
52
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,262
Uh, no, Ted doesn't know about it.
53
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,974
{\an8}Yeah, no, we wanted to ask you
to see if you wanted to come back
54
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,517
{\an8}before we approached Ted.
55
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,935
{\an8}Okay, well, sorry, guys.
56
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,729
{\an8}I don't think it's a good idea
for me to come back to Richmond, so...
57
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,730
{\an8}Thank you though.
58
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:10,983
Oh.
59
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,527
{\an8}- Okay.
- Cool.
60
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,779
{\an8}Can I have 75 kebabs to go?
61
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,449
{\an8}Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, of course.
Um, chicken, pork or lamb?
62
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,534
Ooh.
63
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,829
Or 25 of each? [stammers]
64
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,290
- [chuckles] Nate the Great.
- [fingers snap]
65
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,834
- [Colin chuckles] Yum.
- Okay.
66
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,252
- Nice.
- Hey.
67
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,129
- [Nathan humming]
- Thank you!
68
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,433
[Mom] Pretty sparse.
69
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,853
- [phone chimes]
- [exhales heavily]
70
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,397
{\an8}Ooh. Mmm.
71
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}What are all these
crazy symbols on your oven dial?
72
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,573
{\an8}[chuckles] Yeah, um, well, the one with
the line under the nuclear power symbol,
73
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,991
{\an8}that's for making cookies and chicken.
74
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:04,077
{\an8}The, uh, three squiggly lines
let you burn a frozen pizza.
75
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,330
{\an8}And the key symbol there,
that makes the whole thing beep
76
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,248
{\an8}until Beard comes over
and fixes it for me.
77
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,499
{\an8}Is everything okay, Mom?
78
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,293
{\an8}Oh, sure. I'm just looking around.
79
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,463
{\an8}No, no. No, I mean, you being here
in London. Is everything okay?
80
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,507
- Oh, yeah. Everything's fine.
- Uh-huh.
81
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,050
I just always wanted to see England,
82
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,719
so I booked this trip
as a little Mother's Day gift to myself.
83
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,181
{\an8}Hmm. Okay. Well, um,
I mean, how long you been here?
84
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,808
- Just a week.
- A week? Where the heck you staying?
85
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,560
This adorable little hostel.
86
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,771
{\an8}- Mom--
- Now, I met so many Australians.
87
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,606
{\an8}They are backpacking through Europe.
88
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,650
- Uh-huh.
- So much sex.
89
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,401
- Mom.
- No, not me.
90
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,153
- The Australians.
- No, no, I get it. Okay.
91
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,822
Uh, well, look, how about you stay here
for the rest of your trip, all right?
92
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,366
Only if I'm not a hassle.
93
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,535
You're not a hassle, Mom, okay?
Please stay here.
94
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,161
- Okay.
- Okay, good. All right.
95
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,039
- Now, look, I gotta get to work.
- All righty. Have fun.
96
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,417
{\an8}Um. You wanna tag along?
97
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,754
- Well, I don't wanna be in your hair.
- Mom, I want you in my hair. Okay?
98
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,215
I want you in my friends'
and coworkers' hair.
99
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,758
Now, please. Come on with.
100
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510
- Okay, thank you. I would like that.
- All right, good.
101
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,303
{\an8}You don't have to bring
your suitcase, Mom.
102
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,056
{\an8}- Okay. I'll just grab my coat...
- Yeah.
103
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:10,227
...get my bag... [singsongs]
...leave my worries on the doorstep.
104
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,856
{\an8}Yeah, just direct your feet that way,
Mom. Okay. [groans]
105
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,322
{\an8}Uh, Sam, Richmond have won
15 matches in a row.
106
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,199
{\an8}With two games left,
you're just four points off
107
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,451
{\an8}Manchester City
for the Premier League title.
108
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:30,873
- Do you have a question?
- Yeah. Am I dreaming?
109
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,082
[laughing]
110
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,544
Uh, well, if you are, please,
don't wake up.
111
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,588
And if this is the Matrix,
don't unplug me.
112
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:39,131
[laughing]
113
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,300
{\an8}Uh. Yeah, better Trent.
114
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,886
{\an8}Uh, Marcus Adebayo, The Independent.
115
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:47,097
{\an8}Uh. Jamie, on the heels of making
your England debut,
116
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,433
how does it feel to be named
Premier League Player of the Month?
117
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:56,398
{\an8}Uh. Um, yeah.
Uh, yeah. It feels good, I guess.
118
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,401
{\an8}But it's, um-- it's really the-the team
making me look good.
119
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,654
{\an8}So, I should be doing a better job
of making them look good, really.
120
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,991
So, yeah. Makes me-- Makes me feel bad.
121
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,243
[murmuring]
122
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,663
Uh, Jamie also led the league
in assists this month,
123
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,416
so he's done plenty to make
his teammates look good.
124
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,251
Yeah, but they're the ones
who took all the shots.
125
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,753
{\an8}Uh, he also scored a goal.
126
00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:20,255
{\an8}Uh, that was meant to be a pass.
You shouldn't count that.
127
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,885
{\an8}That goal is a lie.
It should be retracted from the records.
128
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,639
I apolog-- I apologize to everyone,
especially the kids.
129
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,016
[murmuring continues]
130
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,019
{\an8}Right, let's call it there, everyone.
That was great. Thanks very much.
131
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,650
- Hey, Boss.
- Oh, hello, Ted.
132
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,819
Uh, so this morning,
I don't just bring biscuits.
133
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,447
I also have a very special surprise guest.
134
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,450
Oh. How exciting.
To whom do I owe the pleasure?
135
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,285
I'm Coach Lasso's new bodyguard.
136
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,912
Please keep your hands
where I can see them.
137
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,082
- [Ted sighs]
- [chuckles] I'm just kidding.
138
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,793
You can keep them well-manicured
mitts of yours wherever you like.
139
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,420
- [Ted sighs]
- Oh, my God. You're Ted's mother.
140
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,964
Winner, winner, B. F. Skinner.
141
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,340
[chuckles]
142
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,802
Mom, this is my boss, Rebecca Welton.
Rebecca, this is Dottie Lasso.
143
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,387
- [gasps]
- Oh, honey, bring that in.
144
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,222
- Oh. [laughs]
- [laughs]
145
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,433
I can't believe I'm finally getting
to meet the woman who created
146
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,269
one of the nicest humans I've ever met.
147
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,728
Oh, no, don't look at me.
148
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,523
This one popped out and immediately
asked the doctor if he needed anything.
149
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:20,607
Oh. [chuckles]
150
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,234
[chuckles] That doesn't make any sense.
151
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,945
Babies can't talk and nor do they
understand empathy. And you know...
152
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,406
[stammers] Dottie-- I'm sorry.
May I call you Dottie?
153
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,949
Sure, if you want me to respond.
154
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,493
Right. If you'd like,
I'd love to show you around.
155
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,996
Oh, I've heard great things
about the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
156
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,873
I mean around the facility.
157
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,542
Even better.
I can't wait to meet Dani Rojas.
158
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,419
Oh, and he does not disappoint.
159
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,212
- Oh. [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Shall we?
160
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,922
Sure. [chuckles]
161
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,632
- Where you from, honey?
- Surrey.
162
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,467
Where are you from?
163
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,554
- Surrey.
- Oh, I thought you said "sorry."
164
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,638
[Rebecca chuckles]
165
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:54,558
[groans]
166
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,643
[laughing]
167
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,728
So I say,
168
00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,688
"Officer, you must be mistaken.
169
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:03,400
You couldn't have arrested my son.
My son is asleep in his own bed."
170
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,484
[laughing]
171
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,196
Are you sure you do not want
a kebab, Mama Lasso?
172
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,572
Oh, no, thank you, Dani.
173
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,240
You are so polite.
174
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,951
- [team laughing]
- [Dottie] Okay, now bear with me.
175
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,161
Mmm.
176
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,247
It must be so lovely
having your mother visiting, Ted.
177
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,707
Oh, yeah. It's great.
178
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,418
- Oklahoma.
- Oh, no. It's weird.
179
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,086
Mm-mmm.
Didn't even tell me she was coming.
180
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,047
Just showed up out of nowhere,
you know, like one of them
181
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,925
weird eyebrow hairs I started getting
the day after I turned 40.
182
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,427
Mmm. That's what mothers do, Ted.
183
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,845
[laughing]
184
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,599
So it turns out my 12-year-old son
was not asleep in his own room.
185
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,851
He had taken our car for a joyride.
186
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,480
Now, he was arrested
for driving on the wrong side of the road,
187
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,774
so I guess he was destined
to live in England.
188
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,567
- [laughing]
- [speaks indistinctly in Spanish]
189
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:49,029
Now, see, I wasn't 12. I was 15.
And the whole reason we got pulled over
190
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,783
was 'cause Ronnie Fowch was throwing
gang signs at a cop car. [sighs]
191
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,202
Look, sometimes the truth can ruin
a perfectly good story.
192
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,788
- Yeah, you should work for the Daily Mail.
- [chuckles]
193
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,834
Ted, if you can give your mom
one lovely moment,
194
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,170
you know, a memory to take back home,
then you've won.
195
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,507
- [team laughing, chattering]
- Hmm. Yeah, all right. Thanks, Boss.
196
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134
Right. I've got to go
and see a man about a horse.
197
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:14,012
Oh. I didn't know girls said that
when they gotta pee. [chuckles]
198
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,640
- No, Ted, I'm buying a horse.
- Oh.
199
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,393
[team laughing, chattering]
200
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,314
Hey, did Teddy ever tell you about
the time he ate a candy bar made of poop?
201
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,109
- Ooh!
- Oh! Okay, okay! All right.
202
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,736
I think that's enough story time
with Mama Lasso, all right, fellas?
203
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,238
- [groans]
- Practice starts in twenty minutes.
204
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,322
Up you go.
205
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,366
- Nice to meet you, Mama Lasso.
- Nice to meet you.
206
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,909
Hey, Mom. I'll be right back.
207
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,245
I'm gonna go change,
and then I'll take you out to the pitch.
208
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,080
Okay, honey. I'll be here.
209
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,126
Mrs. Lasso, I just wanted to
introduce myself. I'm Trent Crimm.
210
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,961
- Oh, hello, Trent.
- Hello.
211
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,922
I was wondering if I could, uh,
just have a little chat with you about--
212
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,549
Trent, your hair is fabulous.
213
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:53,010
- It really is. It's just styling.
- [Trent] Thank you. Thank you.
214
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,888
- [groans]
- Van Damme.
215
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,264
- Hmm?
- You still gotta wear that mask?
216
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,226
Yeah, I do, man. Or else I die.
217
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,939
[speaks French]
218
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,818
Between wearing that mask and death,
I choose death.
219
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,487
- [teammates chuckle]
- It does make you look very stupid.
220
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:15,240
- Oh, well. Thank you, Jan Maas.
- [Bumbercatch laughs]
221
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,325
[sniffs]
222
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,952
[teammates chattering]
223
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,454
Oh, you wanna take a crack, Jamie?
224
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,541
I think it's more important
to be safe than to look cool.
225
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,591
Oi! Tartt.
226
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,302
Boot room. Now!
227
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:42,059
Somebody is in trouble.
228
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:46,230
[clicks tongue] Mmm, no.
Shouting is Roy's love language.
229
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,773
[gasps] Oh.
230
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:51,944
[Roy grunts]
231
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,406
- [door closes]
- [Roy] All right. Listen up.
232
00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,827
This is not the week for your mister
fucking humble, great teammate bullshit.
233
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:04,581
We got City on Saturday,
so we need you to be the prickiest prick
234
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,959
you've ever been
in your little prick life.
235
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:11,046
- You understand? So I don't want you--
- [crying]
236
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,176
- Whoa. What is wrong?
- [crying continues]
237
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,179
I don't-- I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
238
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,473
Are you fucking dying or some shit?
239
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,977
No. No. I'm-- No.
I'm just-- I'm just tired.
240
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:29,314
But I can't sleep, and I can't eat.
241
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,860
And I wash me hair,
but I don't use any conditioner anymore
242
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,820
'cause I-- Like, what's the fucking point?
243
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,323
I feel like the guy
in the Red Bull commercial
244
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,076
who's pu-- who's pushing
that big rock up the hill,
245
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,161
but-- but he's lost his wings.
246
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:47,499
Roy, I feel like--
I feel like I've lost me wings, Roy.
247
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,671
[breathing shakily]
Where the fuck are my wings, Roy?
248
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,756
[crying]
249
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,640
Fuck.
250
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,435
[Jamie weeping]
251
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,228
- Will? [sighs]
- Yeah?
252
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,230
You missed a good one.
253
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,816
[weeping continues]
254
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,282
Oh, boy.
255
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,951
[Dottie] ...that you've ever seen.
You know, I even...
256
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,662
Oh, my God, Coach.
Our new striker looks just like your mom.
257
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,830
That is my mom.
258
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917
I know, Ted. That was a joke.
259
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,335
Oh. Right.
260
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:32,961
Hey, Ted. Got a sec?
261
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,796
What is time, Higgs boson? What's up?
262
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,923
So, this morning,
263
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,176
a few of my little birdies
went to visit Nathan in his new job,
264
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,888
waiting tables in Tooting.
265
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:44,515
- Tooting?
- Tooting.
266
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,600
- Did he just say "Tooting"?
- Tooting.
267
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,977
- Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"?
- Tooting, yes.
268
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,146
- Man, this place is great, right?
- Mmm.
269
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,940
Yeah.
Sorry, what were you saying about Nate?
270
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:57,194
The little birdies are pretty sure
he'd come back if invited.
271
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,155
Uh-huh. Okay. What do you think?
272
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,366
Well, I do believe in second chances, Ted.
273
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,452
That's why I'm still married,
and all my sons are alive.
274
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,411
Hmm.
275
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,789
Hey, Roy. Would it bother you
if we brought Nate back?
276
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,082
No. I don't give a fuck.
277
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:14,253
He's great at the shit I suck at.
Look, I've gotta go and do something.
278
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,921
Okay. Everything all right?
279
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,049
Yeah. I've just come down with a case
of the "none of your fucking business."
280
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,760
Right, right. Okay. What about you, Coach?
281
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,846
- You all right if Nate comes--
- If you bring that Judas back,
282
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,390
I will burn this place
to the fucking ground.
283
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:27,558
[imitates choking]
284
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,518
- [Trent] Ted?
- Mm-hmm?
285
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,062
Is it true that you got onstage and danced
with Bruce Springsteen?
286
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,605
No, that was Courteney Cox.
287
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,358
What I did do was sing "Glory Days"
with a Bruce Springsteen cover band
288
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,026
at my friend Scott Cinnamon's bar mitzvah.
289
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:41,697
Oh, it was the bar mitzvah.
That's right. It was the bar mitzvah.
290
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,282
- Is this your mom?
- Yeah.
291
00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:45,242
Oh, it is so nice to meet you.
292
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,660
Oh, friends don't shake hands.
293
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,829
- Friends hug. [chuckles]
- Oh. [chuckles]
294
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,748
- Oh, weirdo Beard-o! Ah!
- Lodi Dodi! [laughing]
295
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,626
[laughing] Come on, bring it on in.
There you go.
296
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,629
- Trent, come along.
- Lodi Dodi, she like to party ♪
297
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,006
- She don't cause trouble ♪
- Whoo!
298
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,215
[Coach Beard] Don't bother nobody ♪
299
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,758
- [beatboxing]
- [laughing]
300
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,094
- Some of us got a football team to coach!
- [Coach Beard] Whoo-hoo!
301
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,180
[all] Lodi Dodi, she like to party ♪
302
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,223
♪ She don't cause trouble
Don't bother nobody ♪
303
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,521
- [apple crunches]
- [chews]
304
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,820
Oh, hello. [chews]
Are you here about the pipes?
305
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,656
No. What's wrong with the pipes?
306
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,742
Nothing.
307
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,953
That's why I thought it was so weird
that you were here about the pipes.
308
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:34,124
Roy, what are you doing here?
309
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,751
I need to talk. [sighs]
310
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,465
Roy...
311
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,885
Oh, no. Not about us. I just...
312
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,555
I need your help with Jamie.
313
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,434
He's all fucked in the head.
And I've tried to do it myself,
314
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,561
but it's all that emotional shit
you're good at.
315
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,232
Also... you look nice.
316
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,067
You want my help with Jamie?
317
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,653
Yeah, and you look nice.
318
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,781
- [apple crunches]
- [chews]
319
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,575
Um, both of you.
320
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,827
Oh. [chuckles] Thank you.
321
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,038
That's-- [chuckles] This cost like--
322
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,707
like two pounds from a car boot sale, so...
323
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,000
All right.
324
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,294
...you know, thank you.
325
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,880
[apple crunches]
326
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,969
{\an8}[pinball machine dinging]
327
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:30,889
This place is very charming.
328
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,600
Reminds of this Irish bar
I went to in Topeka.
329
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,769
Well, you probably don't wanna
share that with me.
330
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,688
The Irish part or the Topeka part?
331
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,231
Both, really.
332
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,440
[Coach Beard] No! No!
333
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,901
- [electronic voice laughing]
- [Coach Beard groaning]
334
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,112
Oh. My turn. Excuse me. [chuckles]
335
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,739
[Coach Beard sighs]
336
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:54,037
Trying to follow the yellow brick road,
where the dogs of society keep on howling.
337
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:54,997
How's he doing?
338
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:58,000
[sighs] Well, I'm ahead,
but he's better set up for the multiball.
339
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,170
[chuckles] No, silly pants.
How's he doing?
340
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,883
{\an8}Well, he's Ted.
341
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,843
Still running around in circles,
342
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:11,972
making sure everybody's okay without
accepting a drop of help for himself.
343
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,016
Pretty much. How you doing, Dottie?
344
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,226
[stammers] Oh, don't you worry about me.
345
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,980
Nah, y'all got enough cooking without
putting my troubles on your to-do list.
346
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,192
- Here you go.
- Ooh, thank you, Mae.
347
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:24,276
[Coach Beard] Cheers, Mae.
348
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:28,488
Oh. Mae, your pub is wonderful.
349
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,116
It's nothing like
that Irish place in Topeka.
350
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:34,369
- [chuckles] I'll take your word for it.
- Mm-hmm.
351
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,207
So, you seeing anyone?
352
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,835
Had my heart ripped out of my chest,
stomped into a pulp,
353
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,379
and dragged through the town square
for everyone to ridicule.
354
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,007
Oh, sweetie.
That's okay, you'll meet somebody.
355
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,091
No, I'm in love.
356
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,886
- Oh.
- Here. Wanna see a picture?
357
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,221
- [strains]
- Sure.
358
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,015
Your mum's a peach.
359
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,559
Oh, yeah. I-- Thanks.
360
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:01,772
Um, here, I'll-- I'll swap with you.
There you are.
361
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:05,692
You know, Ted, pinball is a lot more fun
if you use an actual ball.
362
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,362
[people chattering, laughing]
363
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:12,782
Yeah. Well, I-- you know, I was letting
Coach and my mom catch up a little.
364
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,117
- That's all.
- [Mae] Mmm.
365
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,912
[chuckles]
366
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:21,375
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
367
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,460
They may not mean to, but they do."
[chuckles]
368
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:30,551
"They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you."
369
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:34,513
[chuckles]
"But they were fucked up in their turn
370
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,308
by fools in old-style hats and coats,
371
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:44,106
who half the time were soppy-stern
and half at one another's throats.
372
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,361
Man hands on misery to man.
373
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:52,030
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
374
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:58,328
Get out as early as you can
and don't have any kids yourself."
375
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,413
[chuckles]
376
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,130
{\an8}- [whirring]
- [distorted laughter, chattering]
377
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:11,300
Hey, Ted. Your mum's the bollocks.
378
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,968
We just became friends on Facebook.
379
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,928
I didn't know you were almost
the drummer in Coldplay.
380
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,346
Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true.
381
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,140
- It's amazing. It's incredible!
- [laughs]
382
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,392
[all chattering, laughing]
383
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,476
[Baz] No way.
384
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,562
[laughter continues]
385
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:25,981
[pinball machine dinging]
386
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,694
I can't take your bed, Teddy.
387
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:33,405
Mom, it's okay, all right?
I'll just sleep on the couch.
388
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,033
- No, I'll sleep on the couch.
- Well, then I'm gonna sleep
389
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,785
on the floor next to the couch,
and neither of us are gonna use the bed.
390
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:39,828
Please.
391
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,706
- Thank you.
- Okay.
392
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,041
- [grunts]
- Not on the bed.
393
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:46,043
Okay. [strains] Okay. Okay.
394
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,961
- [groans]
- Hey, I brought you something.
395
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,339
What? On the off chance
we'd bump into each other?
396
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,966
No, it's your clippings from back home.
397
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,138
Oh.
398
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,224
I thought you'd want those.
399
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,644
[chuckles] I appreciate it.
400
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,189
[sighs] So, what's your plan tomorrow?
401
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,691
Hmm? Yeah, do you wanna come
to Manchester with us?
402
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,235
[sighs] I don't know.
403
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,737
I mean, coming all the way to England
and not seeing a soccer match
404
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,073
is kind of like going to Rome
and not going to church
405
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:17,241
or getting your pocket picked.
406
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:20,410
Oh. Well, thank you,
but I think I'll just stay here.
407
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,664
I didn't get much sleep last week,
what with all that noisy sex from--
408
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,207
- not me-- the Australians.
- The Australians.
409
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,875
- Yes, no, I remember.
- Yeah. Exactly.
410
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,545
And you know how nervous I get
when I'm watching your games.
411
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,380
So I think I'll just stay put
412
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,091
and let you go beat the pants
off those Manchesterians.
413
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:35,384
Mancunians.
414
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,303
And then I'll have a home-cooked meal
waiting for you when you get back.
415
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,471
It's been too long.
416
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,433
Yeah. No, that'll be nice. Okay. Um...
417
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,895
Well, then I'll see you in the morning.
418
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:48,939
Hey, um--
419
00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:54,278
[sighs] Are you still having those,
um, episodes?
420
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:58,490
- [stammers] You know.
- Oh, the panic attacks.
421
00:19:58,490 --> 00:19:59,700
Yeah.
422
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:03,579
Um. No, no. Uh, not recently.
423
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,708
You know, I've actually been,
uh, talking to this therapist.
424
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,544
Ooh, let me guess. It's all my fault.
[chuckles]
425
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:14,548
No, Mom. No, of course not.
No, but uh-- [clears throat]
426
00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:16,550
Well, I mean, it's--
uh, it's really helped.
427
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,177
Oh, good, good, good, good, good, good.
428
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:21,180
Yeah. You, uh-- You ever thought
about talking to someone?
429
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:25,434
Oh, no. That is not my cup of tea.
And you know I love my tea.
430
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,062
[chuckles] Good night, Mom.
431
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,482
Good night, sweetie.
Oh, and thank you for the bed.
432
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,193
You're welcome.
433
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,656
[crowd cheering]
434
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,668
Hey, hot dog. Y'all joining us today?
435
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:54,046
- Well, we're all in this together, Ted.
- Yeah.
436
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:56,298
I also received
a strongly worded text from Nora
437
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,175
demanding I stop using my private jet.
438
00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,259
Why?
439
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,512
- The environment.
- Oh, yeah.
440
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,097
- Goddamn environment.
- Yeah.
441
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,390
Yep.
442
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,475
All right.
443
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,228
[chattering]
444
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,273
Hi.
445
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:15,776
- Hey.
- How's he doing?
446
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:17,819
[shutter clicks]
447
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,077
Fucking hell.
448
00:21:25,077 --> 00:21:26,203
I'll talk to him.
449
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:28,789
- [sighs]
- Right.
450
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:34,920
Ladies and gentlemen.
Let our journey commence.
451
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,339
[all cheering]
452
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:39,758
Look at Ken.
Boy, he cleans up nice, don't he?
453
00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:41,677
- You should see him in drag.
- Really?
454
00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:47,015
There you go. Well, um, take your time.
455
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:50,310
And while you wait, do snack on some nuts.
And I'll-- I'll be back with your drinks.
456
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,311
- All right?
- Thank you.
457
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:54,773
Hey, hey. [stammers] Oi, oi, oi.
[chuckles] Do you know who this is?
458
00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,233
Your son?
459
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:58,151
What? No. [scoffs]
460
00:21:58,151 --> 00:21:59,653
Our waiter?
461
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:03,740
Bloody hell, you two are a right pair.
No, I mean do you know who he was?
462
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,450
- I don't know.
- [softly] Uh...
463
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,537
Only the manager of West Ham United.
[chuckles]
464
00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:11,164
Oh, right. You're the Wonder Kid.
465
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,125
Yes, that's it. I said Wonder Kid.
466
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:17,212
This man right here went
from kit man to assistant coach,
467
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:21,592
to manager, to top of the league,
and now he's my head waiter.
468
00:22:21,592 --> 00:22:23,802
I'm-- [stammers] I'm so sorry.
469
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,263
Anyway, nice talking to you.
470
00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:27,848
[clears throat] Please try the fish.
471
00:22:27,848 --> 00:22:29,683
We've got a ton of it out back.
[chuckling]
472
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:32,394
- All right. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.
- [chuckles] Yep, yep.
473
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:35,731
Was it drugs? I done drugs. I get it.
474
00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:38,442
No, no. No, I just--
I just like working here.
475
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,028
And that's my girlfriend. [mutters]
476
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:46,116
Um. Anyway, um, enjoy the nuts. I'll, uh--
I'll go and get your drinks, okay?
477
00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,077
Definitely drugs.
478
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,329
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
479
00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:52,497
But which ones?
480
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,224
[knocking]
481
00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:15,062
Hi.
482
00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:16,188
Hey.
483
00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:18,106
Can I come in?
484
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,566
Y-Yeah, yeah. Sure.
485
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,902
Come in. Yeah, yeah.
Ok-- Yeah, what's up, yeah?
486
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:25,948
I just wanted to come
and see how you're doing.
487
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,450
Roy told you.
488
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:32,412
Well, he's worried about you.
Is that okay?
489
00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:34,915
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
490
00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:37,584
I'm fine. I'm-- I'm good. I'm-- I'm great.
491
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:41,213
In fact,
I think I'm the best that I've ever been.
492
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:43,173
- You know?
- [chuckles]
493
00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:47,886
[breathing heavily]
There's something so sad about a suitcase.
494
00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:49,179
Do you know what I mean? It's like--
495
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,643
It's like a drawer without a home.
496
00:23:56,353 --> 00:23:58,063
[groans]
497
00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:01,441
- Hey, Jamie. Look at me.
- [breathing heavily]
498
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:04,862
- You've got a lot going on right now.
- Mm-hmm. There's a lot going on, yeah.
499
00:24:04,862 --> 00:24:07,739
This is the first time you've played
back home since you left.
500
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,325
- [exhales heavily] Ooh.
- The crowd's gonna hate you.
501
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,871
And the person who's gonna be booing
the loudest in the crowd is your dad.
502
00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:15,497
I didn't think of that. Yeah.
503
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:18,000
And I know a lot of people
are shit-talking your hair online.
504
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,919
- They're what?
- [stammers] No! Think about it.
505
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:22,588
If you guys win tomorrow,
506
00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:26,675
then you will be on the precipice
of achieving everything
507
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:27,926
that you've ever dreamed of.
508
00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:30,804
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa, shit!
509
00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:32,681
- [thuds]
- Sorry, Jamie. Ooh!
510
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,062
[clicks, beeping]
511
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:54,369
- [Keeley whispers] Here.
- [whispers] Oh, cheers.
512
00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:56,914
[sniffs] How'd it go with Jamie?
513
00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,249
Yeah, I fucked it. I made it worse.
514
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:01,877
Ah, shit.
515
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:04,796
Hello, Roy and Keeley.
516
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:08,175
Good to see you both
next to each other like before.
517
00:25:08,175 --> 00:25:11,386
[whispers] No.
We're just sitting together as friends.
518
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:14,848
- Yeah, and she just looks very nice.
- [players shushing]
519
00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:16,475
Nora Ephron.
520
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:19,144
- I'm saying my apology.
- Who?
521
00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:20,562
Carl Bernstein's ex.
522
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:31,823
[cries, sighs]
523
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:43,710
- [actor] Don't cry, Shop Girl. Don't cry.
- [sniffles]
524
00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:47,256
[cries]
525
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:48,757
I wanted it to be you.
526
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,425
[grunts]
527
00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:54,304
[actor 2, through screen]
I wanted it to be you so badly. [sniffles]
528
00:25:56,265 --> 00:25:57,391
[dog barking on-screen]
529
00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:02,729
[crying]
530
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,124
I mean, Sleepless in Seattle is still
a far superior film.
531
00:26:22,124 --> 00:26:23,542
- Not now.
- I'm just saying.
532
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757
[Ted] Whoo!
533
00:26:33,218 --> 00:26:35,846
All right. Listen up, you big softies.
534
00:26:35,846 --> 00:26:38,640
10:00 p.m., lights out.
Then get yourselves some beauty sleep
535
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,350
for tomorrow's big meet-cute
with Man City,
536
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:41,476
- you hear?
- Whoo!
537
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:43,145
All right, Ephron on three.
One, two, three!
538
00:26:43,145 --> 00:26:44,688
- [all] Ephron!
- [Ted] There you go.
539
00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:47,024
- [player 1] Ah, that was Dave Chappelle.
- Yeah.
540
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:48,942
[Ted] Not bad, yeah?
Hey, y'all seen that before?
541
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,986
- [Ted] First time? First time, yeah?
- [player 2] First time.
542
00:26:50,986 --> 00:26:52,404
[Ted] It's a goody. It was a goody.
543
00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:55,157
You gotta see Sleepless in Seattle,
though. You know, this is why...
544
00:26:55,157 --> 00:26:57,618
[speaking indistinctly]
545
00:27:08,504 --> 00:27:09,505
Oh!
546
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,530
The fuck is he?
547
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:17,906
I don't know. You've lost him.
548
00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:21,034
- You said he went down here.
- I did not. You said that.
549
00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:23,328
[Roy] No. I said he's in a tunnel,
550
00:28:23,328 --> 00:28:26,248
- I didn't say he was in this tunnel.
- Well, there's no other tunnel, is there?
551
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:29,001
I don't believe it.
You've lost Jamie Tartt.
552
00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:30,919
- You can't lose Jamie Tartt.
- Well, you have.
553
00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:32,004
- [Jamie] Oi!
- [Keeley screams]
554
00:28:32,004 --> 00:28:34,298
- Fucking hell!
- Why are you following me?
555
00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:36,383
Just wanted to make sure you're okay,
you prick.
556
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:40,137
What's going on, Jamie?
Are you buying drugs?
557
00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:43,056
[sighs]
558
00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:44,933
Come on.
559
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:52,774
- [groans]
- [children chattering]
560
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,152
[groaning]
561
00:28:55,152 --> 00:28:57,404
- Are you joking? Oi!
- [child] How'd you miss?
562
00:28:59,281 --> 00:29:01,700
- Are you Jamie Tartt?
- Yeah.
563
00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,410
More like Jamie Fart.
564
00:29:03,410 --> 00:29:06,121
- Screw you, dickhead! Prick!
- [child 2] Yeah, who are you?
565
00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:07,831
City's gonna fuck you up tomorrow.
566
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,666
[child 2] Yeah, you spaz. You little twat!
567
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:11,877
- Yeah, it's not for you, pussy!
- Yeah, go on!
568
00:29:11,877 --> 00:29:13,879
- [child 3] Walk. Bye!
- [child 2] Bye.
569
00:29:13,879 --> 00:29:15,297
[child 1] I smell your bum from here.
570
00:29:15,297 --> 00:29:16,548
- [child 2 shushes]
- [whimpers]
571
00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,011
Good lads.
572
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:22,679
- Oh, my gosh!
- Oh! [speaks indistinctly]
573
00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:24,890
- Oh! Come on!
- That was sick!
574
00:29:24,890 --> 00:29:27,226
- Yes, yes! [speaks indistinctly]
- Yeah! Come on!
575
00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:29,019
[doorbell rings]
576
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:31,104
[children continue chattering]
577
00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:34,858
Hey! Jamie!
578
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,109
How you doing, Simon?
579
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:39,112
- Uh, this is Keeley, that's Roy.
- Come on in, come on in.
580
00:29:39,112 --> 00:29:41,573
- How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man.
- Yeah, great.
581
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:42,616
- Hi! [chuckles]
- [Simon] Hello.
582
00:29:42,616 --> 00:29:43,867
[chuckles] Oh, hello.
583
00:29:44,701 --> 00:29:45,702
Uh--
584
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:47,746
Georgie, we've got visitors.
585
00:29:48,247 --> 00:29:50,457
[Georgie] What was that, love?
Someone at the door?
586
00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:55,212
[Jamie] Hello, Mommy.
587
00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:59,258
- [chuckles]
- [screams] Jamie! Oh!
588
00:29:59,258 --> 00:30:02,845
Mommy, I'd like to introduce you
to Keeley, and this hairy prick's Roy.
589
00:30:02,845 --> 00:30:04,596
- Hi.
- Hey, you.
590
00:30:04,596 --> 00:30:07,349
Hi!
Oh, it's lovely to finally meet you both.
591
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:09,810
I'd come and give you a hug,
but I'm not letting go of this one.
592
00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:11,562
[Georgie squeals]
593
00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,689
Oh, there they go. [inhales sharply]
594
00:30:13,689 --> 00:30:16,066
Right, who wants some sweet treats?
595
00:30:16,066 --> 00:30:18,485
Look at your gorgeous face. I love it.
596
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:21,071
- Oh! How have you been? Look at you.
- [Jamie] Oh, Mom. You look...
597
00:30:21,071 --> 00:30:22,739
[Georgie] Oi. [laughs]
598
00:30:23,574 --> 00:30:26,743
[Jamie] It was just poopy.
[stammers] You know, it really upset me.
599
00:30:27,536 --> 00:30:30,747
This guy on Twitter,
he kept saying that it was blonde,
600
00:30:30,747 --> 00:30:34,126
but I'm like,
"It's fucking walnut mist, mate."
601
00:30:34,126 --> 00:30:35,961
- Yeah, obviously.
- Yeah.
602
00:30:35,961 --> 00:30:38,297
He's done a lovely job. It's dead natural.
603
00:30:38,297 --> 00:30:40,382
[liquid pours]
604
00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:44,094
- What do you think?
- Mmm, it's really yummy.
605
00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:46,597
- Hey.
- Uh, it's fucking...
606
00:30:46,597 --> 00:30:47,931
- [stammers] ...delicious.
- Mmm.
607
00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:50,475
Oh. Well, it's a Paul Hollywood recipe,
608
00:30:50,475 --> 00:30:52,436
but I've gone a little bit rogue on it.
[chuckles]
609
00:30:52,436 --> 00:30:53,645
- Mmm.
- Right.
610
00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:56,899
Babes, do you wanna give Roy and Keeley
the grand tour?
611
00:30:56,899 --> 00:30:58,859
[chuckles]
You know, show them around a bit.
612
00:30:58,859 --> 00:31:02,654
- Yes! Good idea. Thank-- Oops! [chuckles]
- [Keeley chuckles]
613
00:31:02,654 --> 00:31:04,323
Right, follow me.
We will start in the kitchen,
614
00:31:04,323 --> 00:31:06,617
- aka my laboratory. [chuckles]
- [Keeley] Ooh.
615
00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,620
[Simon] I've just got a new, uh,
bain-marie, and it's copperplated.
616
00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:12,581
[Keeley] Wow. What does that mean?
It sounds expensive.
617
00:31:13,123 --> 00:31:14,124
[Georgie] Hmm.
618
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:20,589
Have you ever considered doing
a happy hour at the Taste of Athens?
619
00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:24,801
I've literally never thought about work
the second after leaving work. [sighs]
620
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:26,428
Or even while there, really.
621
00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:28,764
Hmm. [Nathan breathes heavily]
622
00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,853
I don't think you should work
there anymore.
623
00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:37,564
Why? I'm a great waiter.
624
00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:41,276
Yes.
It's weird how great of a waiter you are.
625
00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:47,324
But you're a coach.
They want you back at Richmond.
626
00:31:48,617 --> 00:31:49,743
You should go.
627
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:52,913
[inhales deeply]
628
00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:55,457
Thing is, it didn't really end
too well for me there.
629
00:31:56,124 --> 00:32:00,420
I think a lot of that was my fault. Well,
it was-- it was all my fault. [scoffs]
630
00:32:02,089 --> 00:32:04,383
Look, after this season,
I'll try and get another coaching job,
631
00:32:04,383 --> 00:32:06,593
just-- just not at Richmond, okay?
632
00:32:07,803 --> 00:32:11,723
I w-- I promi-- I will. I promise.
I just-- Yeah.
633
00:32:13,392 --> 00:32:14,560
Mm-hmm.
634
00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:18,897
Yeah? You hungry? Do you want food?
635
00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:23,986
Oh, dunno. Can I have some nuts
while I think about it?
636
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,072
Right. Where are-- Where are they?
637
00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:30,367
Here's the genius behind the nuts, okay?
638
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,162
They make people thirsty. Yeah?
639
00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:39,126
I'm giving away, what, five p on nuts
and taking in five quid on beer.
640
00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,587
That's smart. Right?
641
00:32:42,588 --> 00:32:44,631
Why am I the only person
thinking about this stuff?
642
00:32:46,758 --> 00:32:47,759
You doing all right?
643
00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,805
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
644
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,101
Okay.
645
00:32:57,686 --> 00:33:01,398
[chuckles] Come on. Out with it.
646
00:33:07,571 --> 00:33:08,572
You heard from Dad?
647
00:33:09,531 --> 00:33:10,616
No.
648
00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:13,785
Haven't heard from that
human ball sack in ages.
649
00:33:13,785 --> 00:33:15,204
[chuckles]
650
00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:17,206
You?
651
00:33:17,206 --> 00:33:19,208
[swallows] No, not since Wembley.
652
00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,965
Thought I was finally rid of him, but...
653
00:33:28,550 --> 00:33:29,593
[sighs]
654
00:33:31,345 --> 00:33:33,722
...I always did what I did...
655
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,769
because fuck him, you know?
656
00:33:38,769 --> 00:33:42,147
And-- And now that I don't give a shit
about him, it's like...
657
00:33:48,779 --> 00:33:51,990
Y-You know when some guys
can't make their willies go hard?
658
00:33:53,325 --> 00:33:54,451
Oh, you mean impotent?
659
00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:57,079
Yeah. It's like I got that, but...
660
00:33:59,957 --> 00:34:01,583
but it's like I got it in--
661
00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:06,004
It's like I got it in my soul.
662
00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:17,766
And here is the main attraction.
Jamie's room.
663
00:34:17,766 --> 00:34:19,476
Oh! [gasps]
664
00:34:24,731 --> 00:34:25,815
Whoa.
665
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,320
- Fucking hell.
- Ah, yes.
666
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,822
Many posters have come and gone
over the years.
667
00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:35,284
Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo.
668
00:34:36,326 --> 00:34:38,411
But Roy Kent always remains.
669
00:34:38,996 --> 00:34:40,038
- Huh.
- [cell phone alarm rings]
670
00:34:40,038 --> 00:34:42,291
Oh! Meat pies are done. Excuse me.
671
00:34:44,293 --> 00:34:45,668
Whoa.
672
00:34:46,253 --> 00:34:47,920
Fucking hell.
673
00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:51,300
Jamie...
674
00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:58,932
your father, he is who he is.
675
00:35:00,976 --> 00:35:04,521
And he is never, ever, ever gonna change.
676
00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:07,900
And like it or not,
677
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,653
you've ended up being who you are
so that you can prove him wrong.
678
00:35:15,365 --> 00:35:16,617
And you are amazing.
679
00:35:20,329 --> 00:35:21,705
You are.
680
00:35:26,668 --> 00:35:29,004
[crying] When you come on for England...
681
00:35:29,004 --> 00:35:31,256
[chuckles]
682
00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:36,053
Oh. Jesus, Jamie, I wept.
[inhales sharply]
683
00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:39,723
- I bawled me fucking eyes out. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
684
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:49,441
And, yeah,
your dad will be in the stands tomorrow,
685
00:35:49,441 --> 00:35:51,818
pissed out of his head,
rooting against you.
686
00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:55,906
And it won't matter.
687
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:02,996
You don't have anything to prove
to that toerag.
688
00:36:08,877 --> 00:36:09,920
[kisses, sniffs]
689
00:36:11,630 --> 00:36:15,676
You're not lost, my sexy little baby.
690
00:36:15,676 --> 00:36:17,135
[both chuckle]
691
00:36:19,555 --> 00:36:24,101
You're just not sure
which direction you're going in... yet.
692
00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:31,692
[sniffles, kisses]
693
00:36:32,317 --> 00:36:33,443
Mmm.
694
00:36:37,406 --> 00:36:40,909
[sighs] This is fucking weird.
695
00:36:42,452 --> 00:36:45,622
There's a lot of weird to choose from.
Can you be more specific?
696
00:36:48,834 --> 00:36:49,835
You and me...
697
00:36:52,296 --> 00:36:54,715
sitting on Jamie Tartt's childhood bed...
698
00:36:57,009 --> 00:37:00,637
being all fucking concerned
about him and shit.
699
00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:08,061
Yeah. Good on us, Roy-o.
700
00:37:09,271 --> 00:37:10,439
Thanks, bud.
701
00:37:10,939 --> 00:37:12,524
You're welcome, pal. [chuckles]
702
00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:17,613
I don't wanna be friends.
703
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,576
- You don't?
- Uh-uh.
704
00:37:23,827 --> 00:37:27,206
I don't wanna be just friends.
705
00:37:37,299 --> 00:37:38,675
- Roy--
- [door opens]
706
00:37:38,675 --> 00:37:40,385
Well, guys,
I think we should probably get--
707
00:37:42,012 --> 00:37:45,933
- Uh, you good to go?
- Yeah.
708
00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:47,976
Yeah.
709
00:37:48,769 --> 00:37:51,021
Right. [grunts]
710
00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:53,690
[groans]
711
00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:00,614
[door closes]
712
00:38:00,614 --> 00:38:02,115
- [Jamie] I love you.
- [Georgie] I love you.
713
00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:04,159
- [Jamie] Good to see you.
- [Georgie] Good to see you too.
714
00:38:04,159 --> 00:38:05,911
[groans] Right.
715
00:38:05,911 --> 00:38:07,371
Hey, listen to me.
716
00:38:07,371 --> 00:38:10,165
I don't care
if you lose by ten goals tomorrow.
717
00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:12,793
I just want you to be happy. Okay, Son?
718
00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:17,047
Okay. Love you, Mommy. [kisses]
719
00:38:17,047 --> 00:38:18,257
I love you.
720
00:38:18,257 --> 00:38:20,592
[Jamie] Mmm. See you soon.
721
00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,135
See you soon. All right, come on.
722
00:38:22,135 --> 00:38:24,263
- Off you go. Go home.
- All right. Bye.
723
00:38:25,055 --> 00:38:26,473
It was great to meet you.
724
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:28,183
Bye.
725
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:30,936
- One for the road.
- [Keeley] Ooh. This way, babe.
726
00:38:30,936 --> 00:38:33,021
See you later. [kisses] Love-- Love you.
727
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:42,155
[Roy] We should go and have cocktails.
[chuckles]
728
00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:55,210
...the latest in workout technology
like yoga mats!
729
00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:56,170
[cell phone chimes]
730
00:38:56,170 --> 00:38:59,089
[Keeley] Manchester has much to offer
when it comes to arts and culture,
731
00:38:59,089 --> 00:39:02,259
{\an8}including the Greater Manchester
Police Museum!
732
00:39:03,427 --> 00:39:06,847
The rainy city is also known
as well for science and technology,
733
00:39:06,847 --> 00:39:10,434
{\an8}for it was right here in 1917
734
00:39:10,434 --> 00:39:14,229
{\an8}that
Ernest Rutherford first split the atom.
735
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:19,193
{\an8}And you'll split your sides laughing
at Manchester's many comedy clubs
736
00:39:19,193 --> 00:39:22,404
{\an8}and improvised murder mystery
dinner theaters. And, of course...
737
00:39:22,404 --> 00:39:23,488
[sighs]
738
00:39:23,488 --> 00:39:27,201
[Keeley] ...your trip wouldn't be complete
without heading to Etihad Stadium,
739
00:39:27,201 --> 00:39:31,622
- home of the Manchester... [voice fades]
- [fans singing] Blue moon ♪
740
00:39:31,622 --> 00:39:38,128
You saw me standing alone ♪
741
00:39:38,128 --> 00:39:44,927
{\an8} Without a dream in my heart ♪
742
00:39:44,927 --> 00:39:50,974
Without a love of my own ♪
743
00:39:50,974 --> 00:39:53,310
[cheering]
744
00:39:53,310 --> 00:39:58,732
♪ I said, blue moon
You saw me standing alone ♪
745
00:39:58,732 --> 00:40:03,237
♪ Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own... ♪
746
00:40:03,237 --> 00:40:06,156
Richmond should have a classic old song
for our fans to sing.
747
00:40:06,156 --> 00:40:08,033
- Hmm.
- Oh, we did.
748
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:11,203
Uh, when Freddie Mercury
briefly owned the team in 1980,
749
00:40:11,203 --> 00:40:13,830
he tried to make "Fat Bottomed Girls"
the team anthem.
750
00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,290
- [chuckles]
- Didn't work out.
751
00:40:15,290 --> 00:40:17,251
Did a bunch of people get offended?
752
00:40:17,251 --> 00:40:19,753
Just the flat-bottomed girls really.
753
00:40:19,753 --> 00:40:21,004
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
754
00:40:21,004 --> 00:40:23,340
My father went to art school
with Freddie Mercury.
755
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:24,716
- What?
- Mmm.
756
00:40:24,716 --> 00:40:29,263
I mean, everyone always talks
about his amazing four-octave vocal range.
757
00:40:29,263 --> 00:40:31,265
But my father always insisted
758
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:34,852
that if you actually asked Freddie
what his greatest talent was,
759
00:40:34,852 --> 00:40:36,770
he would've said flipping straights.
760
00:40:38,772 --> 00:40:41,525
- [both] Come on, Richmond!
- You lads still have a way!
761
00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:42,609
[fans cheering]
762
00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:46,446
- Hey! Hey!
- [Baz exclaims]
763
00:40:46,446 --> 00:40:49,324
Hey, thanks for saving us a seat.
How long have you been waiting?
764
00:40:49,324 --> 00:40:51,034
Mae let me sleep here last night.
765
00:40:51,034 --> 00:40:53,871
- How many beers do you want?
- Three, Mae.
766
00:40:54,538 --> 00:40:57,958
How many beers do you want
if you can't order again before halftime?
767
00:40:58,625 --> 00:40:59,626
[all] Twelve.
768
00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:04,006
[Arlo] Welcome, everyone. Today,
Manchester City hosts AFC Richmond.
769
00:41:04,006 --> 00:41:09,136
A first-ever win at the Etihad Stadium
for the Greyhounds, however unlikely,
770
00:41:09,136 --> 00:41:12,014
leaves the door open next week
for Ted Lasso's men
771
00:41:12,014 --> 00:41:15,684
{\an8}to complete the Cinderella story
their fans have been dreaming of.
772
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:17,269
Oh, there he is. Look at him.
773
00:41:17,269 --> 00:41:19,646
[Arlo] The City faithful
are letting Jamie Tartt know
774
00:41:19,646 --> 00:41:23,483
how they feel about their former player
who left them for reality television.
775
00:41:23,483 --> 00:41:26,695
- [Manchester City fans booing]
- Welcome home, dickhead! [laughs]
776
00:41:26,695 --> 00:41:29,406
[Arlo] Perhaps not the homecoming
he might have dreamt of.
777
00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:31,742
Oh, boy.
778
00:41:31,742 --> 00:41:35,454
Come on, Son. That's it, that's it.
Fucking bastards.
779
00:41:35,454 --> 00:41:37,998
[Arlo] City can clinch the title
with a win today.
780
00:41:37,998 --> 00:41:41,335
A loss makes things
very interesting next week.
781
00:41:41,335 --> 00:41:44,963
We find out in 90 minutes that starts now.
782
00:41:44,963 --> 00:41:45,881
[whistle blows]
783
00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,302
[Manchester City fans booing]
784
00:41:50,886 --> 00:41:52,721
[Arlo] Ooh, clattered!
785
00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:55,015
[Chris]
Tartt can expect a lot of that today.
786
00:41:55,015 --> 00:41:57,476
[booing continues]
787
00:42:03,148 --> 00:42:06,777
Here are some complimentary nuts.
And I'll be back to get your drinks. Okay?
788
00:42:07,486 --> 00:42:11,156
[Arlo] Physical play from City
as Tartt pushes Richmond forward.
789
00:42:12,157 --> 00:42:14,910
- Tartt has options.
- Colin's open.
790
00:42:16,954 --> 00:42:19,331
[Arlo] Oh, a nifty move finds Bumbercatch.
791
00:42:19,331 --> 00:42:20,582
The Swiss crosses to the far post.
792
00:42:20,582 --> 00:42:22,584
- Hughes!
- [fans cheering]
793
00:42:22,584 --> 00:42:24,378
- [Arlo] The match has barely begun...
- Yes.
794
00:42:24,378 --> 00:42:26,588
- ...and the Welshman fires the Greyhounds...
- [both cheer]
795
00:42:26,588 --> 00:42:29,424
- ...into the lead with a commanding header.
- [both cheer]
796
00:42:29,424 --> 00:42:30,843
There we go.
797
00:42:30,843 --> 00:42:34,346
[Chris] That goal was all down to Tartt.
He's seeing two passes ahead.
798
00:42:34,346 --> 00:42:37,474
[Arlo] Brilliant play indeed
from the unsinkable Jamie Tartt.
799
00:42:37,474 --> 00:42:42,271
Colin Hughes with the exclamation point,
and Richmond leads 1-nil.
800
00:42:42,271 --> 00:42:46,066
[patrons cheering]
801
00:42:46,066 --> 00:42:50,362
- [laughs, cheers]
- [squeals] Yes!
802
00:42:51,196 --> 00:42:52,573
Leslie, what you doing?
803
00:42:52,573 --> 00:42:55,284
I'll celebrate
when the final whistle has blown.
804
00:42:55,284 --> 00:42:57,077
I don't wanna move and jinx it.
805
00:42:58,370 --> 00:43:01,540
- Okay. [cheering]
- [Keeley cheering]
806
00:43:03,709 --> 00:43:05,919
[Arlo] With the great Pep Guardiola
at the controls,
807
00:43:05,919 --> 00:43:09,131
rest assured,
City won't be quaking in their boots.
808
00:43:09,131 --> 00:43:11,925
What's this sharp-dressed son of a gun
got cookin' now, huh?
809
00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:13,010
Go.
810
00:43:13,010 --> 00:43:15,512
[Chris] You know Pep will make
the right adjustments. He always does.
811
00:43:15,512 --> 00:43:16,597
Hold on tight.
812
00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:18,432
All right! Here we go!
813
00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:22,728
[Arlo] Halftime approaches, and the
Premier League title remains undecided.
814
00:43:22,728 --> 00:43:24,188
[Manchester City fans booing]
815
00:43:24,188 --> 00:43:27,357
[Arlo] Jamie Tartt's hometown fans
are still letting him have it.
816
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,236
City continuing to target
Richmond's number nine.
817
00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:34,031
Case in point,
as Tartt is knocked off the ball.
818
00:43:38,076 --> 00:43:39,953
And here comes City.
819
00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:43,999
De Villardi shoots!
Van Damme makes a terrific save.
820
00:43:46,543 --> 00:43:50,130
City making Tartt fight
for every inch out there.
821
00:43:52,382 --> 00:43:54,968
Piss off back down South, pretty boy!
822
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:58,180
[Arlo] Tough crowd, Jamie Tartt.
Tough crowd.
823
00:43:58,764 --> 00:44:00,265
We're in the 65th minute.
824
00:44:00,265 --> 00:44:03,560
And since Richmond's early goal,
it's been one-way traffic.
825
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,398
City asking plenty of questions,
but so far Richmond are not listening.
826
00:44:10,943 --> 00:44:13,070
Oh, a sliver of space for De Villardi.
827
00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,489
Is this the equalizer?
828
00:44:15,489 --> 00:44:19,451
No! A swashbuckling save
by the masked Canadian.
829
00:44:19,451 --> 00:44:20,911
[Chris] Van damn he's been good today!
830
00:44:20,911 --> 00:44:22,287
- [all cheering]
- Come on!
831
00:44:22,287 --> 00:44:23,372
Yeah!
832
00:44:23,372 --> 00:44:25,832
[Arlo] Nearing the 80-minute mark,
833
00:44:25,832 --> 00:44:27,459
Richmond are defending
their one-goal lead.
834
00:44:29,378 --> 00:44:31,213
{\an8}Ndour takes the corner.
835
00:44:31,213 --> 00:44:34,466
{\an8}Van Damme races off his line to punch,
but it finds Elokobi.
836
00:44:34,466 --> 00:44:36,218
{\an8}De Villardi has an open goal.
837
00:44:36,218 --> 00:44:39,388
{\an8}- Jamie Tartt soars to clear the danger!
- Yes, Jamie!
838
00:44:39,388 --> 00:44:40,806
[all cheering]
839
00:44:40,806 --> 00:44:41,890
Yes, Jamie!
840
00:44:41,890 --> 00:44:43,809
- [Jamie groans]
- [Arlo] Oh, no.
841
00:44:43,809 --> 00:44:46,311
It looks like Tartt
is in quite a bit of pain.
842
00:44:46,311 --> 00:44:48,105
- [players clamoring]
- [Chris] It's his ankle, Arlo.
843
00:44:48,105 --> 00:44:51,024
- He landed on it wrong.
- Get up, you soft prick!
844
00:44:51,024 --> 00:44:53,569
[crowd laughing]
845
00:44:53,569 --> 00:44:54,653
Come on.
846
00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:55,988
Is he okay?
847
00:44:56,488 --> 00:44:57,489
[Thierry] Let's go.
848
00:45:00,284 --> 00:45:01,410
Roberts! Get warm.
849
00:45:01,910 --> 00:45:03,453
- I'm good, good. Go, bro. Go, go.
- You good?
850
00:45:04,162 --> 00:45:05,247
{\an8}[Jamie grunts]
851
00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:10,169
Now hold on. He's up, he's up, he's up. Okay.
852
00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:12,045
[Arlo] It appears he'll give it a go.
853
00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:15,757
Good news for Richmond, who
can ill afford to play without their star.
854
00:45:15,757 --> 00:45:18,093
Not with this much at stake.
855
00:45:21,013 --> 00:45:22,931
[groans]
856
00:45:23,473 --> 00:45:24,558
- [all groan]
- [whistle blows]
857
00:45:24,558 --> 00:45:26,059
[Arlo] We may have spoken too soon, Chris.
858
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:30,439
Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he's in
some distress and may require attention.
859
00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:31,523
Oh, my God.
860
00:45:37,112 --> 00:45:39,114
- [grunting]
- [medic 1] Up you go.
861
00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:41,158
[medic 2] Get you on the walk.
862
00:45:41,742 --> 00:45:43,410
Fudge.
863
00:45:43,410 --> 00:45:45,412
[fans applauding, whistling]
864
00:45:50,834 --> 00:45:52,085
- We're finished. We're done.
- Come on.
865
00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:53,795
- We're done.
- Come on, James.
866
00:45:56,757 --> 00:45:58,967
Roberts! You're going in.
867
00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:00,594
Whoa, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey,
868
00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:02,304
hey, don't hop out there
quite yet, Tan, okay?
869
00:46:02,888 --> 00:46:05,224
- Coach, we're a man down.
- I know, Coach. Just give me one second.
870
00:46:06,725 --> 00:46:08,769
Hey, Jamie, are you sure
you can't get back out there?
871
00:46:08,769 --> 00:46:11,396
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?
872
00:46:11,396 --> 00:46:12,689
- No.
- Hmm?
873
00:46:12,689 --> 00:46:15,567
- Hey, Coach! You wanna play with ten men?
- [Ted] Yeah.
874
00:46:15,567 --> 00:46:18,237
Heck yeah! [chuckles]
Right, eh? [clicks tongue]
875
00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:20,739
We're just gonna wait and see, okay?
876
00:46:21,657 --> 00:46:23,283
And we'll check in on you, all right?
877
00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:26,495
You two, do me a favor. Heal him.
Use all your tricks, please.
878
00:46:28,163 --> 00:46:30,666
Okay. Yeah.
We're gonna give him a couple minutes.
879
00:46:30,666 --> 00:46:33,544
- He's gonna be fine. Here we go. Come on!
- [Arlo] Ted Lasso elects to wait,
880
00:46:33,544 --> 00:46:37,089
leaving ten Greyhounds
against City's mighty 11.
881
00:46:37,089 --> 00:46:39,591
- [crowd roaring]
- [Arlo] City looking for the equalizer.
882
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:42,845
And Orellano shoots.
Van Damme is there! And there again!
883
00:46:42,845 --> 00:46:44,054
[fans cheering]
884
00:46:44,054 --> 00:46:45,430
[Arlo] And again!
885
00:46:45,430 --> 00:46:48,851
There's just no penetrating
the mask of Van Damme!
886
00:46:48,851 --> 00:46:51,186
With his team facing relentless pressure,
887
00:46:51,186 --> 00:46:52,980
- Ted Lasso is gambling with each...
- [sniffs]
888
00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:55,232
- ...passing second he plays with a man down.
- I'm gonna need a word, Nate.
889
00:46:55,232 --> 00:46:56,608
- In my office, yeah?
- Yeah.
890
00:46:56,608 --> 00:46:59,236
[Chris] I love gambling.
Makes me feel alive.
891
00:46:59,236 --> 00:47:01,530
[Arlo] You should probably talk
to somebody about that, Chris.
892
00:47:02,698 --> 00:47:05,200
Hello, mate. Come in. Take a seat.
893
00:47:05,993 --> 00:47:08,203
Here we go. [sighs] Mmm.
894
00:47:10,247 --> 00:47:12,791
[sighs] Am I getting promoted?
895
00:47:12,791 --> 00:47:14,710
[sighs] Nate, I gotta let you go.
896
00:47:15,419 --> 00:47:19,131
- W-Was it 'cause I was watching telly?
- No.
897
00:47:19,131 --> 00:47:20,465
I'm not pushing desserts hard enough?
898
00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:22,885
No, no, no.
It's-- It's nothing you've done.
899
00:47:22,885 --> 00:47:27,764
You're my top man. You're on time,
you don't steal, you're sober.
900
00:47:28,265 --> 00:47:30,434
You're like my little unicorn.
You know what I mean?
901
00:47:31,268 --> 00:47:35,522
And it breaks my heart to say this,
but Jade said if I didn't fire you,
902
00:47:35,522 --> 00:47:37,024
she was gonna report me to the--
903
00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:40,027
Well, I can't say who,
because then you'd know what I've done.
904
00:47:40,027 --> 00:47:43,739
But... [clears throat] ...my hands are tied.
You gotta go.
905
00:47:43,739 --> 00:47:46,950
[breathes shakily] Yeah.
906
00:47:48,368 --> 00:47:50,746
[fans cheering]
907
00:47:55,167 --> 00:47:56,418
[Roy, Coach Beard] Yeah!
908
00:47:56,418 --> 00:47:58,170
[Arlo] Chris,
Richmond aren't playing with a keeper.
909
00:47:58,170 --> 00:48:00,255
They've got a brick wall
in front of the goal.
910
00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:03,175
[Chris] No, Arlo, that's a person.
I can see his arms and legs.
911
00:48:03,175 --> 00:48:04,718
And his hideous mask.
912
00:48:04,718 --> 00:48:08,305
[Arlo] It seems like it's only
a matter of time before City equalize.
913
00:48:08,305 --> 00:48:11,517
That's all they need
to clinch the league title today.
914
00:48:11,517 --> 00:48:13,519
Hey, Coach,
I don't want Jamie to play hurt.
915
00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:15,479
But we gotta make a decision here.
916
00:48:15,479 --> 00:48:16,897
Personally,
I'm fine with him playing hurt.
917
00:48:16,897 --> 00:48:18,106
I played hurt all the time.
918
00:48:18,106 --> 00:48:19,566
You can't walk up stairs.
919
00:48:19,566 --> 00:48:22,027
Okay. Let me go check, all right?
920
00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:25,531
- Thanks, y'all. Thank you.
- [breathing heavily]
921
00:48:28,283 --> 00:48:29,785
What you looking for up there, Jamie?
922
00:48:30,369 --> 00:48:33,539
Looking for my dad. I can't find him.
It's freaking me the fuck out.
923
00:48:33,539 --> 00:48:34,665
[Ted] Yeah, I get that.
924
00:48:34,665 --> 00:48:37,125
It's like when you don't know
where Freddy Krueger is.
925
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:39,044
'Cause you know it's the second
he's gonna pop up
926
00:48:39,044 --> 00:48:40,712
and stick that knife-hand of his
in your face.
927
00:48:40,712 --> 00:48:42,631
Yeah, Freddy Krueger's fucking terrifying.
928
00:48:42,631 --> 00:48:44,383
Yeah, well, he had a rough childhood.
929
00:48:44,383 --> 00:48:46,051
And as we all know,
hurt people hurt people.
930
00:48:46,051 --> 00:48:48,095
Sometimes they just do it
with their knife-hands.
931
00:48:48,595 --> 00:48:49,888
When's the last time you saw your dad?
932
00:48:51,056 --> 00:48:55,143
- Wembley. [pants]
- Hmm. Y'all talk since then?
933
00:48:56,144 --> 00:48:58,355
- Nope. [sighs]
- Hmm.
934
00:48:58,355 --> 00:49:00,399
Okay. If you could talk to him now,
what would you say?
935
00:49:00,399 --> 00:49:02,192
I'd say, "Fuck you." [sighs]
936
00:49:02,192 --> 00:49:04,069
- Mmm, yeah. Makes sense.
- [sighs]
937
00:49:04,069 --> 00:49:05,904
- Anything else?
- Yeah.
938
00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:08,991
Yeah, I'd say, "Thank you."
939
00:49:13,579 --> 00:49:16,331
You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops
ain't motivating you like it used to,
940
00:49:16,331 --> 00:49:18,000
it might be time
to try something different.
941
00:49:20,002 --> 00:49:21,170
Just forgive him.
942
00:49:21,712 --> 00:49:23,338
Oh, fuck no. I ain't giving him that.
943
00:49:23,338 --> 00:49:25,549
Mm-mmm, no. You ain't giving him anything.
944
00:49:26,049 --> 00:49:29,595
When you choose to do that,
you're giving that to yourself.
945
00:49:30,262 --> 00:49:32,097
[crowd cheers]
946
00:49:37,227 --> 00:49:39,855
- Come on. [grunts]
- Okay. [grunting]
947
00:49:40,355 --> 00:49:41,815
- How do you feel?
- [exhaling heavily]
948
00:49:42,608 --> 00:49:45,986
- Yeah. Yeah, I feel good, Coach. Yeah.
- Yeah. See, the talk helped, right?
949
00:49:47,112 --> 00:49:49,281
Mostly the painkillers and the adrenaline,
I think. But--
950
00:49:49,781 --> 00:49:51,783
But yeah, the talk helped, yeah.
951
00:49:51,783 --> 00:49:54,620
Good. Now get your buns out there.
Let's go.
952
00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:56,038
[Jamie] Okay, okay.
953
00:49:56,622 --> 00:49:58,624
[Manchester City fans booing]
954
00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:06,381
Come on.
955
00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:12,930
Here we fucking go. Come on, Jamie!
956
00:50:14,306 --> 00:50:17,392
[Arlo] Jamie Tartt
with a dramatic return to play.
957
00:50:17,392 --> 00:50:20,270
And he makes sure
he lets the City fans know all about it.
958
00:50:20,270 --> 00:50:22,523
[booing]
959
00:50:22,523 --> 00:50:25,817
That's it, baby! You fucking show 'em!
960
00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:28,278
[whistle blows]
961
00:50:29,988 --> 00:50:31,031
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
962
00:50:31,031 --> 00:50:33,408
[all cheering, singing]
Jamie Tartt, do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
963
00:50:33,408 --> 00:50:35,244
♪ Jamie Tartt
Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
964
00:50:36,662 --> 00:50:41,041
[Arlo] Richmond have their backs
against the wall. It's De Villardi again.
965
00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:43,168
But Van Damme collects comfortably.
966
00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:48,590
And the Canadian, wasting no time,
finds McAdoo. And Richmond are off!
967
00:50:49,842 --> 00:50:51,927
Oh, that's astonishing control from Tartt!
968
00:50:51,927 --> 00:50:53,387
Ooh! Ooh!
969
00:50:53,387 --> 00:50:56,139
- What's happening? Thank you.
- Oh!
970
00:50:57,391 --> 00:50:58,475
[Arlo] Tartt cuts inside.
971
00:50:59,518 --> 00:51:00,519
And again.
972
00:51:01,937 --> 00:51:03,689
Oh, he's untouchable!
973
00:51:07,568 --> 00:51:10,320
- [foot impacts ball]
- [whooshing]
974
00:51:11,154 --> 00:51:13,156
- [ball hits net]
- [fans cheering]
975
00:51:14,241 --> 00:51:17,202
- [cheers] Go, Jamie!
- Yes! Yeah! [cheers]
976
00:51:17,202 --> 00:51:20,497
[all shouting, cheering]
977
00:51:20,497 --> 00:51:24,126
[Arlo] And Jamie Tartt
all but clinches the win for Richmond
978
00:51:24,126 --> 00:51:26,920
- with a spectacular solo goal!
- My goodness! Did you see that?
979
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,590
- [cheering, screaming]
- Yes, Jamie!
980
00:51:31,049 --> 00:51:33,343
[Arlo] And a class move
from the native Mancunian,
981
00:51:33,343 --> 00:51:36,471
not to celebrate against his former club.
982
00:51:39,016 --> 00:51:40,017
[whistle blows]
983
00:51:40,601 --> 00:51:43,312
[Arlo]
And Richmond with a late substitution.
984
00:51:48,609 --> 00:51:49,610
Attaboy, Jamie!
985
00:51:53,155 --> 00:51:54,239
[player] Well done.
986
00:51:57,201 --> 00:52:00,412
- Jamie Tartt, you fucking king!
- [fans cheering]
987
00:52:00,412 --> 00:52:02,247
{\an8}- [fans applauding]
- [Arlo] Tartt makes way.
988
00:52:02,247 --> 00:52:05,501
{\an8}And listen to this response
from the City supporters,
989
00:52:05,501 --> 00:52:09,004
{\an8}an ovation for a visiting player
who was also one of their own.
990
00:52:09,004 --> 00:52:11,798
- You don't hear this every day.
- Come on.
991
00:52:11,798 --> 00:52:14,551
[Arlo] Just think of what it means
for Tartt to hear this.
992
00:52:14,551 --> 00:52:17,179
- And what it means for his family.
- [sighs] Yes. Oh, my God.
993
00:52:17,179 --> 00:52:19,139
- [mumbles]
- Oh, my God.
994
00:52:21,475 --> 00:52:24,561
- [laughing]
- [screaming]
995
00:52:24,561 --> 00:52:27,689
- Fucking beautiful. [gasps]
- That was amazing.
996
00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:29,650
[sighing]
997
00:52:36,156 --> 00:52:37,157
Jamie.
998
00:52:37,783 --> 00:52:39,117
[Roy whispers]
999
00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:47,668
He's a tough kid.
1000
00:52:47,668 --> 00:52:49,336
His dad would have been proud.
1001
00:52:53,048 --> 00:52:54,967
[applauding]
1002
00:52:55,592 --> 00:52:57,052
[Arlo] Credit where it's due.
1003
00:52:57,052 --> 00:53:00,389
Lasso rolled the dice on Tartt's fitness
and the team's talisman
1004
00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:01,932
rose to the occasion.
1005
00:53:03,684 --> 00:53:06,687
With time running out,
City try and cross into the box.
1006
00:53:06,687 --> 00:53:08,146
But again, Van Damme is there.
1007
00:53:08,146 --> 00:53:10,607
- [whistle blowing]
- [cheers]
1008
00:53:10,607 --> 00:53:13,193
[screaming, cheering]
1009
00:53:13,193 --> 00:53:16,405
[Arlo] And after
that sterling performance from Richmond,
1010
00:53:16,405 --> 00:53:19,992
the Premier League title will come down
to the final week of the season.
1011
00:53:19,992 --> 00:53:22,619
Chris, they could win
the whole effing thing!
1012
00:53:22,619 --> 00:53:25,205
[Chris] Sorry for
the almost brutal language there, folks.
1013
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:27,749
- It's that time. Holy crap.
- [laughing]
1014
00:53:27,749 --> 00:53:30,669
- Good game. Congratulations.
- Thanks, Coach. I appreciate it.
1015
00:53:30,669 --> 00:53:33,005
Hey, I gotta be honest with you.
You're a tough guy to beat, man.
1016
00:53:33,005 --> 00:53:36,091
[chuckles]
Nah, don't worry about wins or losses.
1017
00:53:36,091 --> 00:53:39,553
Just help these guys be the best version
of themselves on and off the pitch.
1018
00:53:39,553 --> 00:53:41,221
This, at the end,
is the most important thing.
1019
00:53:41,221 --> 00:53:42,848
I couldn't agree more, Coach.
1020
00:53:42,848 --> 00:53:44,349
All right, then. Take care.
1021
00:53:46,393 --> 00:53:47,394
[gasps]
1022
00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:49,062
[screams]
1023
00:53:49,062 --> 00:53:51,690
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1024
00:53:51,690 --> 00:53:54,234
- Boss. Hey, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
1025
00:53:54,735 --> 00:53:59,031
[no audio]
1026
00:54:00,866 --> 00:54:02,451
[players cheering]
1027
00:54:21,678 --> 00:54:23,680
[chattering]
1028
00:54:27,851 --> 00:54:30,395
- All right, lads. Listen up.
- [player] All right. Yo, what's up?
1029
00:54:30,395 --> 00:54:32,606
We've got one more game, so that means
1030
00:54:32,606 --> 00:54:35,108
a glass of water with every single
alcoholic beverage tonight, all right?
1031
00:54:35,108 --> 00:54:36,693
[players cheering]
1032
00:54:36,693 --> 00:54:38,946
- We rolling?
- No, no. I've gotta get this sorted out.
1033
00:54:38,946 --> 00:54:40,405
But you have fun with your water, yeah?
1034
00:54:40,405 --> 00:54:42,491
[chuckles]
1035
00:54:44,368 --> 00:54:46,036
- [Cockburn] There's my lad. Do you proud.
- Nice.
1036
00:54:46,036 --> 00:54:48,121
- Yeah, you bet, bruv. All right, love.
- Hey, take care, bruv.
1037
00:54:48,121 --> 00:54:49,373
- Love.
- That's what I like, man.
1038
00:54:49,373 --> 00:54:50,999
- Be good. Be good.
- [Colin] Rest up, man.
1039
00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:52,835
Hey, listen, man.
I wanna say I'm proud of you.
1040
00:54:52,835 --> 00:54:55,420
- You played so well today, man.
- Ah, appreciate it, man.
1041
00:54:55,420 --> 00:54:57,464
- You scored a goal. Come on. Hey.
- Thanks, Jamie.
1042
00:54:57,965 --> 00:54:59,550
[speaks Spanish] Well done tonight.
1043
00:54:59,550 --> 00:55:01,301
Thank you, man. Big love, amigo.
1044
00:55:05,514 --> 00:55:06,515
[sighs]
1045
00:55:06,515 --> 00:55:11,270
[whistling] All right, buddy.
1046
00:55:11,770 --> 00:55:13,522
I will see you at karaoke.
1047
00:55:13,522 --> 00:55:16,692
I will of course sign us up
for "Islands in the Stream."
1048
00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:18,360
But I'm calling dibs on Dolly.
[snaps fingers]
1049
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:19,862
No can do, Coach. [sighs]
1050
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,615
Mom's cooking dinner tonight.
Last night in town.
1051
00:55:23,615 --> 00:55:25,909
All right. Well, give Dottie my love.
1052
00:55:25,909 --> 00:55:30,664
Will do. Actually, hold on a sec, Coach.
Come here. Check this out. [chuckles]
1053
00:55:35,752 --> 00:55:38,755
- Uh...
- No, no. I know you've already seen it.
1054
00:55:38,755 --> 00:55:41,341
I just don't know if you've watched
the whole thing. Look. Look, look.
1055
00:55:42,926 --> 00:55:43,927
All right.
1056
00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,513
So look. After we came in,
1057
00:55:46,513 --> 00:55:50,267
Nate had to hide under my desk here
for, like, three whole hours
1058
00:55:50,267 --> 00:55:55,272
while we were all whooping and hollering
and celebrating all around him. [chuckles]
1059
00:55:55,272 --> 00:55:58,442
Then, once we all split,
he thought he was in the clear.
1060
00:55:59,067 --> 00:56:01,111
And boom! Cleaning crew shows up.
1061
00:56:01,111 --> 00:56:05,949
Oh, man. That's another two hours
under that desk. Yep.
1062
00:56:08,035 --> 00:56:10,871
Well, then after they leave,
he crawls out.
1063
00:56:11,496 --> 00:56:14,666
His legs just gotta be jelly.
He can barely stand up.
1064
00:56:14,666 --> 00:56:19,796
Look at this. He goes to check the doors,
but they're all locked! [chuckles]
1065
00:56:19,796 --> 00:56:21,632
Oh, man, that son of a gun
1066
00:56:21,632 --> 00:56:24,551
had to climb out the window here
just to get out of the building.
1067
00:56:25,260 --> 00:56:28,180
[chuckles, sighs]
1068
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,140
You know, I don't know about you, Coach.
1069
00:56:30,140 --> 00:56:35,604
But I hope that either all of us
or none of us are judged
1070
00:56:35,604 --> 00:56:37,898
by the actions of our weakest moments,
1071
00:56:39,274 --> 00:56:41,944
but rather by the strength we show
1072
00:56:41,944 --> 00:56:46,573
when and if we're ever given
a second chance.
1073
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:54,122
All right, have fun tonight, Coach.
[grunts]
1074
00:56:54,122 --> 00:56:58,210
And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
1075
00:56:59,044 --> 00:57:02,756
[whistling]
1076
00:57:02,756 --> 00:57:05,008
Fuck.
1077
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:17,521
[message sent sound effect]
1078
00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:22,693
[knocks]
1079
00:57:23,652 --> 00:57:26,446
- Hi.
- Hey. What are you guys doing?
1080
00:57:26,446 --> 00:57:28,407
We thought we'd come and keep you company.
1081
00:57:28,407 --> 00:57:30,993
- Fucking celebrate.
- Yeah!
1082
00:57:30,993 --> 00:57:33,579
- [Jamie chuckles]
- 'Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie.
1083
00:57:34,246 --> 00:57:35,581
Yeah, I was fucking amazing. You're right.
1084
00:57:35,581 --> 00:57:37,583
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Yes.
1085
00:57:37,583 --> 00:57:39,334
- Ey!
- [Keeley] Whoo!
1086
00:57:40,711 --> 00:57:43,130
- You start us off.
- Mmm. Don't mind if I do.
1087
00:57:43,130 --> 00:57:46,341
Right.
What the fuck happened, man? [chuckles]
1088
00:57:46,341 --> 00:57:47,926
[Keeley chuckles]
1089
00:57:47,926 --> 00:57:52,806
- Did I look sexy? [chuckles]
- [laughing]
1090
00:57:52,806 --> 00:57:54,641
Shame you weren't injured
in your fucking head, innit?
1091
00:57:54,641 --> 00:57:56,351
- [chuckling]
- [laughs]
1092
00:57:59,479 --> 00:58:00,480
I'm back.
1093
00:58:02,357 --> 00:58:03,358
Hey, babe. You all right?
1094
00:58:03,358 --> 00:58:05,527
Someone never came for their pickup order.
1095
00:58:05,527 --> 00:58:08,113
Oh, thank you. Great.
1096
00:58:10,449 --> 00:58:15,370
So, um, I don't know if you heard,
but Derek fired me today.
1097
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:18,415
That bastard!
1098
00:58:18,415 --> 00:58:21,668
- Yeah. I was devastated.
- [sighs]
1099
00:58:23,754 --> 00:58:26,924
But it made me realize that even though
there's only one match left,
1100
00:58:26,924 --> 00:58:29,593
I have to go back to Richmond.
To make things right.
1101
00:58:31,929 --> 00:58:33,514
Currently writing Ted an apology letter.
1102
00:58:33,514 --> 00:58:37,184
It's 60 pages, but I'm just looking
for a few trims, so--
1103
00:58:37,184 --> 00:58:39,144
- [doorbell rings]
- Ooh. [grunts] Two secs.
1104
00:58:40,395 --> 00:58:42,648
[sighs, mumbling] Sixty pages.
1105
00:58:45,317 --> 00:58:46,151
Oh, my God.
1106
00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:00,624
You here to kill me?
1107
00:59:02,292 --> 00:59:04,127
Ted and I met playing college football.
1108
00:59:05,504 --> 00:59:08,173
He was the backup punter.
I was the backup kicker.
1109
00:59:08,173 --> 00:59:09,508
We never got in a game,
1110
00:59:10,133 --> 00:59:13,971
but we spent a lot of time together,
jogging and doing box jumps.
1111
00:59:15,347 --> 00:59:16,890
After school, we went our separate ways.
1112
00:59:16,890 --> 00:59:19,434
And he was dating Michelle,
got into coaching.
1113
00:59:20,310 --> 00:59:21,395
And I got into prison.
1114
00:59:22,938 --> 00:59:24,106
When I got paroled...
1115
00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:29,486
I had no money, family didn't want me.
I had nowhere to go.
1116
00:59:30,404 --> 00:59:31,530
So I looked up Ted.
1117
00:59:33,699 --> 00:59:36,034
He took me in, fed me.
1118
00:59:37,202 --> 00:59:38,579
Let me crash on his couch.
1119
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,333
And in return, I stole his car.
1120
00:59:45,043 --> 00:59:46,503
Now, I didn't get far.
1121
00:59:48,088 --> 00:59:51,633
And I would've gone straight back
to prison if Ted didn't come down there
1122
00:59:51,633 --> 00:59:54,636
and convince those cops
that he gave me the car.
1123
00:59:55,679 --> 00:59:56,680
Just like in Les Mis.
1124
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,932
Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes.
1125
00:59:59,516 --> 01:00:01,185
- You went to prison?
- Yes.
1126
01:00:01,185 --> 01:00:02,978
For stealing a loaf of meth.
1127
01:00:05,230 --> 01:00:06,690
And then I stole from my friend.
1128
01:00:09,067 --> 01:00:11,987
Who forgave me. [sighs]
1129
01:00:12,487 --> 01:00:15,824
And gave me a job. And a life.
1130
01:00:19,203 --> 01:00:22,164
So to honor that, I forgive you.
1131
01:00:24,124 --> 01:00:28,337
I offer you a job.
And the life part's up to you.
1132
01:00:35,552 --> 01:00:36,678
Thank you.
1133
01:00:39,306 --> 01:00:40,349
[sighs]
1134
01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:46,605
You sure you don't wanna headbutt me?
I think it might make us feel better.
1135
01:00:55,030 --> 01:00:57,115
[inhales deeply]
1136
01:01:01,912 --> 01:01:04,039
Monday, 10:00 a.m.
1137
01:01:09,670 --> 01:01:12,214
[breathes deeply]
1138
01:01:30,899 --> 01:01:33,735
- Hello?
- [Dottie] Ooh, welcome home, honey.
1139
01:01:33,735 --> 01:01:37,614
- Come take a seat, you must be starving.
- Yeah, okay.
1140
01:01:37,614 --> 01:01:40,784
Hey, congratulations on your big win.
1141
01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:44,371
I didn't know if you'd be in the mood
for meat loaf or lasagna, so I made both.
1142
01:01:44,371 --> 01:01:45,455
- [chuckles]
- [Ted] Hmm.
1143
01:01:49,293 --> 01:01:53,130
- Mom, what's wrong? Why are you here?
- What do you mean?
1144
01:01:53,130 --> 01:01:55,799
I mean, if you got something
you need to say to me,
1145
01:01:56,466 --> 01:01:58,218
I'd appreciate it
if you just went ahead and said it.
1146
01:01:58,218 --> 01:02:02,514
Oh, stop. I just want to spend
my last night in London with my son
1147
01:02:02,514 --> 01:02:04,433
and make sure everything's all right.
1148
01:02:04,433 --> 01:02:07,019
Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay.
1149
01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:10,063
Well, thank you for cooking dinner.
Both of 'em.
1150
01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,607
Oh, you're welcome.
1151
01:02:13,609 --> 01:02:16,987
- And fuck you for not wanting to talk.
- Excuse me?
1152
01:02:16,987 --> 01:02:20,032
Thank you for flying all the way here
to come see me,
1153
01:02:20,032 --> 01:02:21,909
and fuck you for not telling me
you were coming.
1154
01:02:23,118 --> 01:02:27,623
Thank you for all the small, silly, little
things you did for me as a kid, you know?
1155
01:02:27,623 --> 01:02:29,750
Like hiding notes in my lunch box
1156
01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:34,379
or, uh, putting googly eyes on the fruit
at the supermarket just to make me laugh.
1157
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,008
And fuck you for not working on yourself
1158
01:02:38,008 --> 01:02:40,385
or seeking help after we lost dad.
1159
01:02:40,886 --> 01:02:42,721
And for not talking to me about it either.
1160
01:02:42,721 --> 01:02:44,431
Just glossing over the whole thing
1161
01:02:44,431 --> 01:02:47,267
and-- and acting
like everything was all right.
1162
01:02:50,854 --> 01:02:53,357
- I'm sorry.
- Mm-hmm.
1163
01:02:55,192 --> 01:02:59,238
Um... [stammers]
...I didn't know what to do, Ted.
1164
01:02:59,238 --> 01:03:03,367
So, I pretended I was okay.
1165
01:03:03,367 --> 01:03:05,869
Okay. Well, thank you for the apology.
1166
01:03:06,370 --> 01:03:08,622
And fuck you for making me think
I had to pretend too.
1167
01:03:09,706 --> 01:03:13,293
All right. I-- I appreciate you, uh,
sharing all this with me.
1168
01:03:15,045 --> 01:03:17,005
I just wish you hadn't carried it around
for so long.
1169
01:03:17,005 --> 01:03:18,924
[scoffs] Yeah, okay.
1170
01:03:19,508 --> 01:03:23,095
And, um, you're right, Ted,
I do have something to say to you.
1171
01:03:23,095 --> 01:03:24,680
[grunts] Hmm?
1172
01:03:26,056 --> 01:03:27,391
Your son misses you.
1173
01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:33,814
Yeah, I know.
1174
01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:37,776
I miss him too.
1175
01:03:44,533 --> 01:03:49,162
[sighs] It's just like I-- [crying]
1176
01:03:49,162 --> 01:03:53,584
It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like...
1177
01:03:53,584 --> 01:03:57,004
[breathes shakily]
...to get close to that little boy.
1178
01:03:57,754 --> 01:03:59,464
Oh, honey, why?
1179
01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:05,220
'Cause I know he's gonna leave.
1180
01:04:11,059 --> 01:04:12,144
Oh, well...
1181
01:04:14,730 --> 01:04:18,025
- God. No, no, no, no. You know--
- [sniffs, sighs]
1182
01:04:18,025 --> 01:04:20,444
Oh, all right.
That is the thing about being a parent.
1183
01:04:20,444 --> 01:04:21,570
[sighs]
1184
01:04:21,570 --> 01:04:23,572
Sometimes you lose and...
1185
01:04:23,572 --> 01:04:27,743
[stammers] ...sometimes you win,
but most of the time you just tie.
1186
01:04:31,538 --> 01:04:34,499
All we can do is keep playing.
1187
01:04:36,335 --> 01:04:40,756
Right. [sighs, chuckles]
1188
01:04:40,756 --> 01:04:44,593
[sniffles] Hmm. Thank you.
1189
01:04:47,346 --> 01:04:51,141
- Fuck you. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
1190
01:04:52,809 --> 01:04:54,394
Oh, my goodness.
1191
01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:57,314
I'm sorry about that. I--
1192
01:04:58,106 --> 01:05:00,359
[sighs] You know what?
Let me make it up to you, okay?
1193
01:05:00,359 --> 01:05:04,238
Why don't you take a seat? And I'll, uh--
and I'll serve you dinner for once, okay?
1194
01:05:04,238 --> 01:05:08,617
- [chuckles] What? Oh. Ooh. Okay.
- Come on now, pop a squat. Go on.
1195
01:05:08,617 --> 01:05:10,786
- Yeah, yeah. [sighs]
- [chuckles]
1196
01:05:11,495 --> 01:05:16,416
Hey. You know, uh, this therapist
must be doing you some good.
1197
01:05:16,416 --> 01:05:18,418
- Oh, boy.
- [chuckles]
1198
01:05:18,418 --> 01:05:20,337
I'm gonna leave her out of this.
1199
01:05:20,337 --> 01:05:24,383
Oh, wait till she hears about this. Okay.
You know what? Let's start with the wine.
1200
01:05:24,383 --> 01:05:26,593
- Let's do, please.
- [doorbell rings]
1201
01:05:30,138 --> 01:05:32,140
- Bex.
- Hi.
1202
01:05:32,641 --> 01:05:36,562
Sorry to just show up like this.
Um, I need some advice.
1203
01:05:37,938 --> 01:05:40,232
- Okay.
- Can we come in?
1204
01:05:40,232 --> 01:05:41,316
We?
1205
01:05:47,489 --> 01:05:48,490
Of course.
1206
01:07:00,646 --> 01:07:01,813
Morning, Will.
1207
01:07:01,813 --> 01:07:03,190
[Will] Hey. Good morning, Ted.
1208
01:07:12,032 --> 01:07:14,201
- Hey, Boss.
- Oh. Hello, Ted.
1209
01:07:15,035 --> 01:07:16,537
Do you know this John Wooden?
1210
01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:18,747
No, ma'am.
Never had the chance to meet him.
1211
01:07:18,747 --> 01:07:20,332
Oh, pity. I like this.
1212
01:07:20,332 --> 01:07:23,126
Ah, I mean, if you don't like that,
you don't like ice cream.
1213
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:25,754
- [both chuckle]
- What's up?
1214
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:29,883
- Do you know what time it is?
- Uh, 9:30.
1215
01:07:29,883 --> 01:07:33,554
Or half nine as you folks say over here
for some goofy-ass reason.
1216
01:07:33,554 --> 01:07:36,348
- Mm-hmm. That's just to annoy Americans.
- [chuckles] Ah. Yeah.
1217
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:44,940
No, this is that time of year when I come
down here and reveal something to you.
1218
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,527
Oh, snap. That's right. Okay.
1219
01:07:48,527 --> 01:07:50,612
- [stammers] Well, here we go.
- [sighs]
1220
01:07:50,612 --> 01:07:53,615
[chuckles] Uh, you know what?
Maybe I should guess this year.
1221
01:07:53,615 --> 01:07:55,325
No, no, no, that's silly. Yeah.
1222
01:07:55,325 --> 01:07:58,078
No, you just go ahead and tell me.
Go on, let 'er rip.
1223
01:08:00,163 --> 01:08:02,291
- I've got nothing.
- Hmm.
1224
01:08:02,291 --> 01:08:04,793
Oh, I really tried as well.
I mean, even on the walk over here,
1225
01:08:04,793 --> 01:08:07,880
I was thinking something would pop
into my head, but nope.
1226
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,424
- Absolutely nothing. Sorry, Ted.
- Hmm.
1227
01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:14,052
No truth bomb this year.
1228
01:08:14,052 --> 01:08:19,224
Hmm. Well, that's okay.
[chuckles] I got one.