1 00:00:04,086 --> 00:00:06,423 It's a rare treat when the Premier League title 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,550 comes down to the last match of the season. 3 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,678 {\an8}And, Thierry, if the Greyhounds win on Sunday, 4 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:17,267 {\an8}and Manchester City loses or draws, AFC Richmond will actually win the league. 5 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,145 Incredible. And you picked them to finish last. 6 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,188 Hey, so did you. 7 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,650 Sorry, Gary. I only remember my victories. 8 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,694 I have no room in my brain for anything else. 9 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,530 Well, it should be a great match. 10 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,783 The last time Richmond played West Ham though, things got ugly. 11 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:35,035 That wasn't football. It was a crime scene. 12 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:36,745 Speaking of which, 13 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,332 Rupert Mannion has been accused of an inappropriate relationship 14 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,667 by a former assistant, 15 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,419 - putting the team owner in hot water. - Hot water? 16 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:48,465 That man is boiling. If he had noodles in his pockets, he could make a soup. 17 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:52,594 My nan made a delicious pocket soup. Bit like a minestrone. 18 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,222 Personally, I thought he should have stayed with Rebecca Welton. 19 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,558 Now, they were a power couple. 20 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,310 Shut up, Thierry Henry. 21 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,193 Morning, Rebecca. 22 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,821 - Morning, Ted. - Hi. 23 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,580 Yeah. 24 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,543 So, do you-- 25 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,463 You know, do you want to talk about it? 26 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,343 I'm not really ready to talk about it yet. 27 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:36,889 Okay. 28 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,599 Good morning! 29 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:44,479 Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, what a night, what a night. 30 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,443 Sorry for all the noise. 31 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,614 Morning, nerds. You're welcome for all the noise. 32 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,617 Milady. 33 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,454 Rebecca, I hope you don't mind. 34 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,664 I went through your wardrobe and borrowed this dress. 35 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,876 It's a blazer. But, yes. Help yourself. 36 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,463 Hey, thanks again for letting us all crash here last night. 37 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,882 You know-- When I got Beard's text saying 38 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,009 that there was a deadly gas leak in the neighborhood, 39 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,762 I just assumed he was bragging about one of his epic toots. 40 00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:24,603 Isn't that crazy that this is gonna be the last time we wake up like this? 41 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,941 I mean, the last and first time. But, still, you know. 42 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,443 No, no, no. 43 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,446 Yeah. Boss don't want to talk about it yet. 44 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,699 It's not that I refuse to talk about you going home, Ted. 45 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,160 It's that I refuse to accept that you are not coming back. 46 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,581 God. Boss. 47 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,167 I'm right there with you. 48 00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,465 I'll start in the guest rooms. 49 00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:01,348 - No! No, no! No. - No. No, no. Please. Please-- 50 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,475 Those ropes are not garbage. 51 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,519 Some of it's dirty on purpose. 52 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,801 Hear ye, hear ye, this locker room is now in session. 53 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,512 All rise for the Honorable Judge McAdoo. 54 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,065 Silence! 55 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,109 Be seated. 56 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,528 Court Treasurer. 57 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,656 Are there any unresolved fines from this season? 58 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,241 {\an8}There are, Your Honor. 59 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,368 {\an8}And please remember that all fines 60 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:07,122 {\an8}will go towards funding our end-of-season party this Sunday night at the restaurant. 61 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,834 {\an8}Very well. Bailiff. 62 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,419 {\an8}Please bring forth the receptacle. 63 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,963 {\an8}The assistant kitman has it. 64 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,176 {\an8}Assistant to the kitman. 65 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,554 {\an8}Court Treasurer. Release the fines. 66 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:30,145 {\an8}"Jan Maas. Late for training. £200." 67 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,357 {\an8}- That's fair. - Naughty boy. 68 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,691 {\an8}"Dani Rojas. 69 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,780 {\an8}Not texting 'happy birthday' on a teammate's birthday. £100." 70 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:41,698 Objection, Your Honor. 71 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,952 I did put a tiny, little heart on someone else's "happy birthday." 72 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:46,912 Overruled! 73 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,082 "Jamie Tartt. 74 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,254 Falling asleep during team meditation training. £200." 75 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,630 Wow. You fell asleep? 76 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,924 - Bro, everyone was sleeping, man. - Nah, not me. 77 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,801 I was just the only one who was snoring. 78 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,514 Hey. Wait. 79 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,518 - Is there anything else? - That is all I have, Your Honor. 80 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,438 Very well. And finally, Nathan Shelley. 81 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,150 {\an8}For missing every training session, 82 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,946 {\an8}every match and every team dinner this season, 83 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,908 {\an8}I hereby fine you £5,000! 84 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,870 {\an8}Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I deserve it. 85 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:33,125 {\an8}The party will now have an open bar and live band karaoke! 86 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:52,644 Hey. 87 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,022 I'm sorry. 88 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,357 One of these days, I'm gonna scare you. 89 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:02,404 Well, that's easy. Just ask me what I'm thinking about. 90 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,324 What are you thinking about? 91 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,828 {\an8}Stuff. 92 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,706 {\an8}Terrifying. 93 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,959 {\an8}Good to see you, Roy. 94 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,966 {\an8}- Morning, Keeley. - Morning. 95 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,691 - Yo. - Hey. 96 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,693 What happened to you? I thought you were right behind me. 97 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,028 Jane had a surprise for me. 98 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,948 - That's nice. - My passport. 99 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:50,327 {\an8}Which she shredded so that I wouldn't be able to leave the country. 100 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,247 - Good thing you got dual citizenship, huh? - Triple. 101 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,084 - Vatican City is a country, baby. - Right. 102 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:03,757 {\an8}Gentlemen. I can't finish the book until the season ends, obviously. 103 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,635 {\an8}But before you leave, I'd love to get your thoughts. 104 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,304 {\an8}Let me know if there's anything you disagree with. 105 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,766 I won't take it out, but I'm happy to tell you where you're wrong. 106 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,020 Fuck! 107 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,898 Everything okay, Roy? 108 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,610 {\an8}How do you know if a girl likes you or not? 109 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,530 {\an8}Well... 110 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:32,327 {\an8}you know, that might be a tasty, little treat for the Diamond Dogs. 111 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,664 No. 112 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,667 No! No! No! 113 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,299 So close. 114 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,136 Can't wait to dive into this, Trent. 115 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:50,762 Thank you. 116 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,723 Nope. 117 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,226 Derivative. 118 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,644 Okay. 119 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,689 Overly prosaic. 120 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,150 Actually, I'm gonna just pop out for a second. 121 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,612 The press are asking if you have any comments about Rupert's divorce. 122 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,282 Yes, of course. But no, no comment. 123 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,326 {\an8}- Smart. - Classy. 124 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,703 {\an8}Moving on, Leslie and I are asking 125 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,955 {\an8}if you have any comments on Rupert's divorce. 126 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,208 Juicier, the better. Safe space. 127 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,959 Also no comment. 128 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,127 Boo! 129 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:25,214 Look, I'm sorry. I just genuinely don't care anymore. 130 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,091 What's next? 131 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,845 {\an8}We need to talk about who we're hiring to replace Ted. 132 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,597 {\an8}I've made a list of the usual suspects, 133 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:39,019 {\an8}and I threw in a basketball coach from New Zealand just to spice it up a bit. 134 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,484 {\an8}Right. I can't think about that yet. 135 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,987 {\an8}Okay. After the season then. 136 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,408 {\an8}Last thing from me. On a happier note, 137 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,495 {\an8}now that we have a guaranteed spot in the Champions League next season... 138 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:02,000 {\an8}we have had many requests to buy a piece of the club. 139 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,420 {\an8}Our value is at an all-time high, so it's worth considering. 140 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:11,134 {\an8}You give up 49%, retain full control and make a huge pile of cash. 141 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,846 We can buy more players, renovate the stadium. 142 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:16,098 {\an8}Maybe we can get some of those fancy seats. 143 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,141 {\an8}The ones with the heaters like they have at Tottenham. 144 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,853 {\an8}They're amazing... in February. 145 00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:23,272 {\an8}You see, I accidentally turned mine on last summer 146 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,649 {\an8}and nearly melted my bottom crack together. 147 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,487 {\an8}Think about it anyway. It's only 49%. 148 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,365 {\an8}Leslie? 149 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,871 {\an8}How much would I get if I sold the entire club? 150 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:40,622 {\an8}Rebecca. 151 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:42,916 {\an8}You can't sell the club. 152 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,043 {\an8}Why not? 153 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:48,088 {\an8}I mean, I only got into this to ruin Rupert's life. 154 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,133 {\an8}And he seems to be doing a pretty good job of that himself. 155 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,638 {\an8}So come on, Leslie. How much? 156 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,599 I don't know. 157 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:03,395 Off the top of my head, I'd say two billion. 158 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,482 Fuck me. 159 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,027 Fuck me. 160 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,158 All right, Roy. 161 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,619 I think that's enough for today. You can go ahead and call it. 162 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,164 Roy, please. 163 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,962 Whistle! Whistle! 164 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,631 Go on, bring it in. 165 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,216 Thank you, Roy. 166 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:35,135 Coach and I didn't wanna make a big deal about it being our last practice. 167 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,261 Just a regular day. 168 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,222 Yeah. Nothing special. Right? 169 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:40,724 Yeah. Sure. 170 00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:43,143 Whatever you guys want. 171 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,233 - That was ominous. - What the fuck was that? 172 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,195 What the fuck is that? 173 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,490 What the fuck is this? 174 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:04,373 There's a sad sort of clanging From the clock in the hall 175 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:08,043 And the bells in the steeple too 176 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:12,339 And up in the nursery An absurd little bird 177 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,967 Is popping out to say "cuckoo" 178 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,970 Cuckoo, cuckoo 179 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:21,640 Regretfully they tell us But firmly they compel us 180 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,977 To say goodbye 181 00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:28,230 To you 182 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,864 So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, good night 183 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,617 We hate to go And miss this pretty sight 184 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,877 So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, adieu 185 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:53,839 Adieu, adieu To yieu and yieu and yieu 186 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:03,891 So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye 187 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:07,144 We flit, we float We fleetly flee, we fly 188 00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:17,154 So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye 189 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,908 The sun has gone To bed and so must I 190 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:25,162 Adios 191 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,999 Adios 192 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:33,629 Adios 193 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:41,470 Goodbye 194 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,144 Thank you, fellas. That was perfect. 195 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,291 Hey, Keeley. Love those boots. 196 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,001 Thanks. 197 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,842 - Hey, Nate. - Hey, Keeley. You all right? 198 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,386 Yeah. It's so good to have you back. 199 00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,513 - Thank you. It's really good to be back. - Yeah. 200 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,600 - Hi. - Hey. 201 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,227 - Ninety-one. - Ninety-two. 202 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,353 Hello, boys. 203 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,021 - Hello, Keeley. - Hey, Keeley. Uh-oh. 204 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,567 - What do we got here? - A little last-day present. One for you. 205 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,652 - And one for you. - All right. 206 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,487 Don't open that before you get on the plane! 207 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,282 Or better yet, just don't get on the plane. 208 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,410 - Thanks, Keeley. - Thanks, Keeley. 209 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,790 Is everybody decent? 210 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,710 One of these days, right? 211 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,423 Okay, remember you've got your extra press session tomorrow at noon. 212 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:05,345 And you're confident, generous, excited. You're fucking legends! 213 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,638 Thanks, Keeley! 214 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,189 - Keeley. - Hi, Jamie. 215 00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:16,607 - Hey, you good? - Yeah, you? 216 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,483 Yeah, good, yeah. Mad one. 217 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,696 Nike want to fly me to Brazil to shoot this commercial thing. 218 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:26,366 But I said to them that I wouldn't do it unless I could have my publicist with me. 219 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,369 Make sure I don't fuck it up. So what do you think? 220 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,997 - It's not for me. - Yeah. 221 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,582 - I'm fucking with you. - Yeah? 222 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:34,499 - Yeah. - Yeah? 223 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,251 - Yeah. Thank you. - Congrats. 224 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:41,173 Yeah, cool. So, someone from Nike is gonna call you. 225 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,635 Name starts with W. Ends with W. I don't-- 226 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,803 - I'll handle it. - Okay. 227 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:47,971 - Thank you, Jamie. - Yeah. 228 00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:58,607 Hey, Jamie. 229 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,442 Yeah? 230 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:03,445 Wanna grab a beer later? 231 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,240 I thought you said I couldn't have beer anymore. 232 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,075 Well, you're with me, so you get a pass. 233 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,619 Yeah, decent. I'm in, yeah. 234 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,122 - Sweet. - Sweet. 235 00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:17,876 So are you two friends now? 236 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,129 - Yeah. Guess so. - That's wonderful. 237 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,382 Yeah. 238 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,133 Fucking mint, yeah. 239 00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:30,514 - Should I use that pose or that pose? - Lads. Thank the Lord. 240 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,349 - None of 'em. - I just signed up for that Bantr. 241 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,433 Should I-- 242 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,270 I mean, when your father died, I was terrified of being alone. 243 00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:39,773 But now I've learned so much about myself in this last year, 244 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,817 and I've been right all along, you know. 245 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,527 I really am exceptional. 246 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,115 Right. Mother, you know that Ted isn't dying. 247 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,075 He's just moving back to America. 248 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:54,329 You say potato, you say potato. 249 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,960 I've been thinking about selling the club. 250 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:05,090 - I know. Is that crazy? - No! No, I love it. 251 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,427 Go for it. Take the money and run. 252 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,636 Explore the world. 253 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,140 More importantly, explore yourself. 254 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:17,019 You know, I had a dream last night that I was a cabaret singer in Japan. 255 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,103 Shut up. 256 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,731 No, you've given me chills. 257 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,442 I had exactly the same dream. 258 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,153 You were a dentist in Taiwan, 259 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,821 - but-- - Oh, Mother. 260 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,489 Well, potato, potato. 261 00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,535 You going to the match on Sunday? 262 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,455 Oh, sausage, I can't. I'm sorry. 263 00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:38,874 I've been wanting to get a tattoo, 264 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,669 so I'm meeting with a specialist who can remove it if I hate it. 265 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,547 But I did see Tish the other day. 266 00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:49,051 She told me who's gonna win the game. Do you wanna know? 267 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,013 I have had more than enough of Tish's bloody predictions 268 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,641 to last me a lifetime, thank you very much. 269 00:16:55,641 --> 00:17:00,395 But please do tell her that she's a fraud that preys on people's weaknesses. 270 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,315 That's exactly what she said you'd say. 271 00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:05,483 Anything else, ladies? 272 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,862 I'd just like some peace of mind for my daughter. 273 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,656 And all of her generation. 274 00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:14,451 Must be awful for 'em, lying awake at night haunted 275 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,161 by how fucking easy they've had it. 276 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,292 Fucking hell. 277 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,421 We'll just have the bill. Thank you, Mae. 278 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,341 It's been taken care of by these gentlemen. 279 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:35,264 We just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for the club. 280 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:37,975 Yeah. The love and care you have for the team is inspiring. 281 00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:40,561 Kind of like the mother we never had. 282 00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:44,064 That's weird. 'Cause I'm like the mother she's never had. 283 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,984 I guess that makes you like the grandmother we never had. 284 00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:48,402 No, it doesn't. 285 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,532 Why would you say that? 286 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:54,950 I was trying to be nice. 287 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,829 Did I tell you? I'm learning to-- 288 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,958 What's it called? Skateboard. 289 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:05,502 Do you mean skateboard? 290 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:08,589 - Yeah, yeah. Skateboard. Really. - You any good? 291 00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:10,340 Will be. 292 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,727 So you do laugh. 293 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:25,272 But you don't do it until page 43? 294 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,024 And it wasn't even a big laugh. 295 00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:30,194 That was more of a loud nose breath. An exhale. 296 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:34,656 Hey, Trent. Look, I know folks are divided on the actual police these days, 297 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,492 but all human beings are opposed to the laugh police. 298 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,330 Yeah. Yes, sorry. 299 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,291 Yeah. 300 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,503 I just want you to like it. 301 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,216 I'll leave you be. 302 00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:58,013 - Good night, Trent. - Good night. 303 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,009 Worth the wait. 304 00:19:39,972 --> 00:19:44,101 Whatever happens on Sunday, I want you to know I'm proud of you. 305 00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,437 All the work you've put in this year. 306 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,816 Yeah. Yeah, thanks. 307 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,988 And thank you for your help too, you know. 308 00:19:55,988 --> 00:19:59,908 For motivating me, encouraging me. 309 00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:04,580 I haven't really had that from the older men in me life. 310 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,042 Real talk, man. Thank you. 311 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:20,387 And look, I know you've got a lot of feelings for Keeley. 312 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:26,268 I just hope none of that shit ever gets in the way of our friendship. 313 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,314 Yeah. No, yeah, me too, yeah. 314 00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:31,398 Good. 315 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:34,151 That's good. 316 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,446 'Cause me and Keeley started talking again. 317 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:40,866 Oh, yeah? 318 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,785 Yeah. Just easing into it. 319 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,956 But she is a woman, so you never know, right? 320 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,462 It's nothing official between the two of you? 321 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:56,381 Well-- 322 00:20:57,341 --> 00:21:00,260 No, but it's happening. 323 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:05,015 I wanted you to know 'cause I don't want you to get hurt, so... 324 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:09,311 I think it's best if you just step aside. 325 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,650 No. 326 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,572 What the fuck do you mean, "no"? 327 00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:25,160 I mean, if the two of you ain't official, then I ain't steppin' aside. 328 00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:27,913 Why not? 329 00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:32,334 'Cause I know in my heart that me and Keeley are meant to be together. 330 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,461 Fuck off. You're a child. 331 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,547 You fuck off. You're a hairy old prune. 332 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,925 Don't forget, I was with her first. 333 00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:41,468 Yeah, well, I was with her last. 334 00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:43,637 It's been a year, mate. 335 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,182 It's been a month, mate. 336 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:04,116 That video of her that got leaked, she made that for me. 337 00:22:20,424 --> 00:22:22,217 I'm ready to talk about it now. 338 00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:44,531 I've decided to sell the club. 339 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:51,205 If you go, I go. 340 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,134 There is another option. 341 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,470 We both stay. 342 00:23:12,935 --> 00:23:16,313 I respect that you need to go home to your son, Ted. 343 00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:22,402 But I just want you to consider the possibility that this is your home. 344 00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:29,618 Henry can come and live here and go to one of the best schools in the world 345 00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:34,665 and enjoy the life-changing experience of being in another country. 346 00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:39,002 Michelle can come here and teach, 347 00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:43,215 get fully qualified and go home as a department head. 348 00:23:48,637 --> 00:23:52,599 Higgins has said, if I sell 49% of the team, 349 00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:56,770 I can afford to make you one of the highest-paid coaches in the league. 350 00:24:02,401 --> 00:24:04,444 I know people will say I'm crazy, but... 351 00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:10,576 I still think I'd be underpaying you for what you mean to this club. 352 00:24:19,918 --> 00:24:21,128 Would you please stay? 353 00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:30,179 This is the part when you say you need to sleep on it and I say, 354 00:24:30,179 --> 00:24:31,263 "Oh, yes, of course." 355 00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:33,140 And then we do exactly the same thing tomorrow. 356 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,443 You already know your answer, don't you? 357 00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:50,157 - I do, yeah. - I know. 358 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:53,118 I just had to try. 359 00:24:57,289 --> 00:24:58,290 Right. 360 00:25:00,209 --> 00:25:01,418 Well, that's settled then. 361 00:25:05,214 --> 00:25:06,298 Both go. 362 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,055 You know, I was thinking I should travel abroad. 363 00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,893 Eat, Pray, Love style, right? 364 00:25:18,602 --> 00:25:22,773 Well, more like Drink, Sleep, Fuck. 365 00:25:40,874 --> 00:25:42,167 Fucking hell. 366 00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:44,545 He's fine. 367 00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:53,512 All right. You gonna tell me what happened? 368 00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:56,306 Did you stop a mugging? 369 00:25:58,141 --> 00:26:00,853 Rescue some puppies from a burning building? 370 00:26:01,562 --> 00:26:02,771 Do you wanna? 371 00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:04,064 After you. 372 00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:09,236 - We got in a fight about you. - You what? 373 00:26:10,028 --> 00:26:14,116 We got in a fistfight over who gets to be with you. 374 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,910 We just thought, "What are we, Neanderthals?" 375 00:26:17,578 --> 00:26:20,998 Yeah, and we're not. So we came up with a better idea. 376 00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:22,332 Please don't say it. 377 00:26:22,332 --> 00:26:23,584 You should just pick. 378 00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:27,462 You pick which one of us you want to end up with. 379 00:26:28,839 --> 00:26:30,883 And then, that's that. 380 00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:32,843 - Bish-bash-bosh. - Bob's your uncle. 381 00:26:32,843 --> 00:26:34,636 So, I get to choose? 382 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:42,394 - Yeah. - Pretty much. 383 00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:50,903 - We're fucking idiots. - Yep, yep, yep. 384 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:54,990 Are you hungry? 385 00:26:55,866 --> 00:26:58,160 Well, you're still in training, 386 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,329 but you can watch me eat a kebab. 387 00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:04,875 I'm having chicken. 388 00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,144 - Hey. - Oh, my fucking God! 389 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:25,938 I'm sorry about that. 390 00:27:25,938 --> 00:27:29,691 I was trying to come in soft like a human cotton ball. 391 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,318 No. God, no, I'm sorry. I'm here late. 392 00:27:31,318 --> 00:27:32,402 It's all right. 393 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:35,531 Yeah. 394 00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:49,837 Listen, Ted-- 395 00:27:49,837 --> 00:27:51,338 I know. It's okay. 396 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:53,674 No, please, please. Can you just let me say it? 397 00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:57,094 I'm sorry. 398 00:27:58,345 --> 00:27:59,555 I'm so sorry. 399 00:28:02,516 --> 00:28:03,642 Oh, buddy. 400 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,149 I'm sorry. 401 00:28:19,116 --> 00:28:20,200 You know what's funny? 402 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:23,036 You only ripped it up once. 403 00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:26,164 I tore that sucker down and ripped it up two times. 404 00:28:26,999 --> 00:28:28,458 - Did you really? - Yeah. 405 00:28:29,585 --> 00:28:31,003 So you were already in the clear, you know? 406 00:28:31,003 --> 00:28:32,212 Okay. 407 00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:34,506 Okay. 408 00:28:42,931 --> 00:28:44,016 But I'll tell ya, 409 00:28:45,267 --> 00:28:46,560 when I look up there... 410 00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:49,771 I still see it. 411 00:28:57,112 --> 00:28:58,363 Is that weird? 412 00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:01,241 No, that's lovely. 413 00:29:09,166 --> 00:29:10,167 Good night, Nate. 414 00:29:11,210 --> 00:29:12,211 Good night, Ted. 415 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:37,444 AFC Richmond was founded in 1897, 416 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:40,822 and since then, the team have been a picture of mediocrity. 417 00:29:41,323 --> 00:29:44,159 They've been up. They've been down. Mostly down. 418 00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:45,744 And in the club's history, 419 00:29:45,744 --> 00:29:48,914 they've never come close to what they could achieve today: 420 00:29:48,914 --> 00:29:51,124 a Premier League title. 421 00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,377 Fate is not entirely in their hands. 422 00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,505 Their adversaries in Manchester have the final say. 423 00:29:56,505 --> 00:29:57,923 But the Richmond faithful are here 424 00:29:57,923 --> 00:30:01,009 to applaud their team for what they've already accomplished 425 00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:02,803 and see if the miraculous season... 426 00:30:02,803 --> 00:30:04,847 - AFC Richmond. - ...can become transcendent. 427 00:30:04,847 --> 00:30:08,141 Hello. There should be a ticket waiting for me under the name... 428 00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:10,227 "Wynonna Judd." 429 00:30:12,104 --> 00:30:13,105 Thanks. 430 00:30:13,647 --> 00:30:14,648 Thank you. 431 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:18,318 - You see the way that guy stared at me? - Absolute psychopath. 432 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,446 We feeling good, lads? Feeling good? 433 00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:23,115 - I think we're gonna win it. - Me too. 434 00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:24,324 Then what? 435 00:30:24,324 --> 00:30:26,910 Richmond win the League, what do we have left to strive for? 436 00:30:27,578 --> 00:30:28,662 To dream for? 437 00:30:28,662 --> 00:30:31,373 Making a real connection with someone and starting a family? 438 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:34,459 Yeah. 439 00:30:36,336 --> 00:30:37,462 - Boring. - Yeah. 440 00:30:37,462 --> 00:30:39,506 ...a humiliating relegation. 441 00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:41,884 It has really been a mad season, Arlo. 442 00:30:41,884 --> 00:30:44,136 I'm actually nervous. Are you nervous? 443 00:30:44,136 --> 00:30:45,762 Nah, Dad's got this. 444 00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:46,889 All right, all right. 445 00:30:46,889 --> 00:30:49,516 Who's ready to spend the next two hours of their lives watching this game 446 00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:52,769 until it eventually ends up in an exciting 0-0 tie? 447 00:30:57,024 --> 00:31:01,069 Not long ago, Lasso was looking up from the doghouse of the Dogtrack. 448 00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:05,115 Now he's looking down from the highest heights of English football. 449 00:31:05,115 --> 00:31:06,700 It don't make sense! 450 00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,202 Two years ago, we played so bad, 451 00:31:08,202 --> 00:31:10,412 we had to drop down from the Premier League 452 00:31:10,412 --> 00:31:12,164 to a lower league that was called... 453 00:31:12,164 --> 00:31:13,290 The Championship. 454 00:31:13,290 --> 00:31:14,416 See, that don't make sense. 455 00:31:14,416 --> 00:31:18,086 Now, this year we played so well, we qualified to get into another league 456 00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:19,922 - and that one's called... - The Champions League. 457 00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:22,132 Entirely different league, pretty much the same name though. 458 00:31:22,132 --> 00:31:23,217 That don't make sense. 459 00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:26,345 And now y'all are tellin' me that to get into the "Champions League," 460 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:27,846 you can finish as low as... 461 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:29,223 Fourth place. 462 00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:32,226 That don't make no sense. Why? 463 00:31:34,686 --> 00:31:35,812 Money. 464 00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:37,439 Okay, see, now that makes sense. 465 00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:39,566 - Okay. That's it. - Thank you. 466 00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:41,860 - Hey. - Hey, what's up, Nate? 467 00:31:41,860 --> 00:31:43,987 Hi. Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt and all that. 468 00:31:43,987 --> 00:31:46,365 I just wanted to wish you all good luck. 469 00:31:47,366 --> 00:31:50,369 To wish you two good luck for the last time. 470 00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:53,872 Last time this season. It's not the last time you ever have good luck. 471 00:31:54,665 --> 00:31:56,583 No need for it to become a cautionary tale. 472 00:31:56,583 --> 00:31:58,585 I'm not trying to cast a spell or anything. 473 00:31:58,585 --> 00:32:00,712 Yeah, no. I get it, Nate. Thank you. 474 00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:01,839 Thanks, man. 475 00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:03,757 Thank you. Well... 476 00:32:04,466 --> 00:32:06,009 Well, this feels familiar. 477 00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:09,054 Oh, yeah. 478 00:32:11,098 --> 00:32:14,226 Why don't I step out and let you guys have a proper reunion? 479 00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:17,020 You stay put, Trenthouse Magazine. 480 00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:18,564 You're part of the squad now. 481 00:32:20,232 --> 00:32:22,234 - Yep. You're stuck with us, buddy. - Thank you. 482 00:32:23,652 --> 00:32:25,153 Can I be a Diamond Dog? 483 00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:37,124 Okay, hold on one second here. Wait, wait, wait. 484 00:32:42,379 --> 00:32:43,797 What the fuck are you doing? 485 00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:47,801 I assume we're all looking for cameras 'cause we think we're on a prank show. 486 00:32:47,801 --> 00:32:49,970 - Yeah, that's where I'm at. - Yeah. 487 00:32:49,970 --> 00:32:51,597 I'm not fucking around here. 488 00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:57,853 Okay. Diamond Dogs, mount up. Let's go. 489 00:33:06,153 --> 00:33:07,404 Okay. Mr. Roy Kent. 490 00:33:07,404 --> 00:33:09,698 You know, bark away. Please. 491 00:33:11,283 --> 00:33:12,576 For the past year, 492 00:33:13,493 --> 00:33:18,332 I've busted my fucking ass trying to change. 493 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:23,045 But apparently, I haven't done fucking shit 'cause... 494 00:33:25,589 --> 00:33:27,132 I'm still me. 495 00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:35,182 Wait. Did you wanna be someone else? 496 00:33:35,182 --> 00:33:36,266 Yeah. 497 00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:38,560 Someone better. 498 00:33:43,065 --> 00:33:44,316 Can people change? 499 00:33:56,286 --> 00:33:58,330 I don't think we change per se, 500 00:33:58,330 --> 00:34:02,417 as much as we just learn to accept who we've always been, you know? 501 00:34:04,628 --> 00:34:06,922 No. I think people can change. 502 00:34:06,922 --> 00:34:07,923 They can. 503 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,928 You know, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. 504 00:34:17,014 --> 00:34:20,018 Not me. I'm still the same fucking idiot I've always been. 505 00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:22,688 Agree to disagree, big guy. 506 00:34:22,688 --> 00:34:24,188 I mean, come on, man. 507 00:34:24,188 --> 00:34:27,359 You just piped up out of nowhere and finally asked to become a Diamond Dog. 508 00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:29,402 Pretty big change, if you ask me. 509 00:34:29,402 --> 00:34:30,862 - Right, fellas? - Yep. 510 00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:33,824 Change isn't about trying to be perfect. 511 00:34:34,533 --> 00:34:37,244 Perfection sucks. Perfect is boring. 512 00:34:37,244 --> 00:34:39,121 I mean, except Shawshank. That's not boring. 513 00:34:39,121 --> 00:34:40,455 - Yep. - Well, that's true. 514 00:34:40,455 --> 00:34:42,875 Yeah. I mean, there are perfect films. Back to the Future. 515 00:34:42,875 --> 00:34:44,501 - Jaws. - Jaws. Yeah. 516 00:34:44,501 --> 00:34:46,879 - I would say Trent's hair is perfect. - Oh, God, yeah. 517 00:34:46,879 --> 00:34:48,505 - Thank you. - Not at all boring. 518 00:34:48,505 --> 00:34:51,175 Sure. You know, attributes. Grace Kelly's eyes. 519 00:34:51,175 --> 00:34:54,136 - The other side of the pillow. - That is absolutely perfect. 520 00:34:54,136 --> 00:34:55,512 There are perfect analogies. 521 00:34:55,512 --> 00:34:58,307 - Jacket potato, cheese and beans. - That sounds perfectly yummy. Yeah. 522 00:34:58,307 --> 00:35:00,267 Perfect foods. Spaghetti Bolognese. 523 00:35:00,267 --> 00:35:02,603 - Billy Joel's The Stranger album. - Yep, no, that's perfect. 524 00:35:02,603 --> 00:35:04,396 Yes! There are perfect works of art. 525 00:35:04,396 --> 00:35:06,607 There-- Perfection is all around us, everywhere we look. 526 00:35:06,607 --> 00:35:07,733 The mighty redwood. 527 00:35:07,733 --> 00:35:09,818 But I was talking about perfection in people. 528 00:35:10,652 --> 00:35:12,946 - Sure. Yeah. No, I get you. - Oh, right. Sure. 529 00:35:12,946 --> 00:35:15,449 Human beings are never gonna be perfect, Roy. 530 00:35:15,449 --> 00:35:20,996 The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. 531 00:35:21,663 --> 00:35:25,167 And if you keep on doing that, you'll always be moving towards better. 532 00:35:30,881 --> 00:35:32,591 Add that right there to our list of perfect stuff. 533 00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:36,386 - Ding, ding, ding. - All right. 534 00:35:38,055 --> 00:35:39,056 Thank you. 535 00:35:46,146 --> 00:35:47,481 Anyone else wanna go? 536 00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:50,776 I've got a girlfriend. 537 00:35:53,987 --> 00:35:55,781 Her name is Jade, and she actually is perfect. 538 00:36:06,834 --> 00:36:08,085 - George. - Rupert. 539 00:36:08,752 --> 00:36:09,753 You guys ready? 540 00:36:09,753 --> 00:36:12,256 Don't you worry, I won't let you lose to your ex-wife. 541 00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,342 I mean, your first ex-wife. 542 00:36:15,926 --> 00:36:19,221 I mean, your previous, most recent ex-wi-- 543 00:36:19,221 --> 00:36:21,390 - You know what I mean. - Just beat them. 544 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:25,894 Win. 545 00:36:26,895 --> 00:36:27,896 Yes, boss. 546 00:36:28,814 --> 00:36:31,108 We have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. 547 00:36:31,108 --> 00:36:34,361 Unsavory allegations of sexual impropriety 548 00:36:34,361 --> 00:36:37,364 have Rupert Mannion on the brink of losing his club. 549 00:36:37,364 --> 00:36:41,451 But the truth is, a win today puts the Hammers into the Champions League, 550 00:36:41,451 --> 00:36:43,287 a feather in Mannion's cap 551 00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:45,873 that could keep him in power a little bit longer. 552 00:36:50,043 --> 00:36:53,463 So, this is where they've been hiding all the beautiful people. 553 00:36:55,883 --> 00:36:56,842 Hello, Rupert. 554 00:36:58,594 --> 00:36:59,595 Rebecca. 555 00:37:01,471 --> 00:37:03,557 - Hi, Sassy. - Hiya. 556 00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:05,100 Aren't you the lucky man. 557 00:37:06,602 --> 00:37:08,770 Whatever happens today, a team you love wins. 558 00:37:13,358 --> 00:37:15,861 Heard the news. Ouch. 559 00:37:16,778 --> 00:37:19,323 Looks like you're gonna lose another team. 560 00:37:19,323 --> 00:37:21,116 My God, you get through them like wives. 561 00:37:21,825 --> 00:37:22,993 Or mistresses. 562 00:37:22,993 --> 00:37:25,245 Or, I'm assuming, tubes of hemorrhoid cream. 563 00:37:27,372 --> 00:37:29,958 But in all seriousness, I do wish you the best... 564 00:37:31,376 --> 00:37:33,837 'cause you are the fucking worst. 565 00:37:37,799 --> 00:37:38,800 Come on, Richmond! 566 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,761 - Yes! - Yeah! 567 00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:45,057 You're in good spirits, aren't you? 568 00:37:46,099 --> 00:37:48,101 Anything behind that great mood? 569 00:37:48,101 --> 00:37:50,896 Something that might affect where I'll work next year? 570 00:37:50,896 --> 00:37:52,856 - After the match, Leslie. - Right. 571 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,651 Chill. Okay. 572 00:37:55,651 --> 00:37:57,778 Say, Barbara, you a football fan? 573 00:37:58,737 --> 00:38:00,030 I prefer rugby. 574 00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,823 There's just more grown men 575 00:38:01,823 --> 00:38:04,284 throwing other grown men into the air like children. 576 00:38:04,284 --> 00:38:06,161 - And blood. - Yeah. 577 00:38:06,161 --> 00:38:07,329 Which is nice. 578 00:38:10,123 --> 00:38:12,876 One more, boys. Come on. One more. 579 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:16,213 Guys. Guys, guys, guys. 580 00:38:16,213 --> 00:38:18,215 We've just been sent a care package from Zava. 581 00:38:19,508 --> 00:38:22,427 No. Thank you, but no. I will not let him hurt me again. 582 00:38:22,427 --> 00:38:23,387 It's T-shirts. 583 00:38:23,387 --> 00:38:24,638 Can I have two, please? 584 00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:28,350 There's a card. 585 00:38:28,350 --> 00:38:29,685 "My brothers. 586 00:38:30,769 --> 00:38:32,479 Good luck against West Ham. 587 00:38:32,479 --> 00:38:34,815 Please enjoy the T-shirts and this avocado from my farm. 588 00:38:34,815 --> 00:38:38,986 Never forget, I am always inside you. Zava." 589 00:38:38,986 --> 00:38:41,071 What, he sent us one avocado? 590 00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:45,617 That's a huge avocado. 591 00:38:45,617 --> 00:38:47,286 Holy guacamole. 592 00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:48,745 Show me that, bro. 593 00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,250 Fucking hell. 594 00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:00,924 Hey, Dani. 595 00:39:00,924 --> 00:39:03,093 Van Damme. I also got you a gift, 596 00:39:03,093 --> 00:39:06,180 as a way to say I am sorry for destroying your face. 597 00:39:23,906 --> 00:39:26,283 - How do I look? - Wonderful. 598 00:39:26,283 --> 00:39:28,785 Van Damme. You look like a superhero. 599 00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:31,955 Yeah? Yeah? 600 00:39:35,751 --> 00:39:36,960 Merci, frère. 601 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,378 De nada, mi amigo. 602 00:39:40,672 --> 00:39:42,382 Y'all ready? Okay? Okay. 603 00:39:43,008 --> 00:39:44,885 All right, fellas. Hey, let's listen up. 604 00:39:45,761 --> 00:39:47,971 Hey. Nice mask, Van Damme. 605 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:51,642 Thanks, Coach, but actually from now on you can call me Zorro. 606 00:39:52,518 --> 00:39:53,477 You got it, Zoreaux. 607 00:39:53,477 --> 00:39:55,812 No, it's pronounced "Zorro." 608 00:39:57,523 --> 00:40:00,609 'Cause of the mask. I got you. Nice one. Okay. 609 00:40:01,193 --> 00:40:04,947 Well, fellas, if you're looking for a pep talk from me, you're in trouble. 610 00:40:04,947 --> 00:40:09,326 'Cause I'm like Michael Flatley at 11:59 p.m. on St. Patrick's Day, 611 00:40:09,326 --> 00:40:11,453 I'm tapped out. You know what I mean? 612 00:40:12,329 --> 00:40:14,039 Luckily, though, I asked Coach Beard here 613 00:40:14,039 --> 00:40:17,334 to make y'all a little something something to help inspire and motivate y'all 614 00:40:17,334 --> 00:40:19,086 for our final match together, all right? 615 00:40:19,086 --> 00:40:21,338 - Coach, let her rip. - Gather up! 616 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:09,720 Come on, bro. 617 00:41:12,014 --> 00:41:14,224 - The barber. - Okay. 618 00:41:21,732 --> 00:41:23,400 Christmas! 619 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,236 We are going up. Yeah, we are going up. 620 00:41:26,778 --> 00:41:29,698 We are going up. Yeah, we are going up. 621 00:41:44,004 --> 00:41:45,005 Oh, shit. 622 00:41:46,632 --> 00:41:49,510 As a player, you know the match starts before the whistle. 623 00:41:49,510 --> 00:41:53,096 During the lineups, you need to show your opponent you're ready for the fight. 624 00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:55,057 You've got the eye of the tiger. 625 00:41:55,057 --> 00:41:57,184 Richmond appear to be crying, Chris. 626 00:41:57,184 --> 00:41:58,644 Interesting strategy. 627 00:41:58,644 --> 00:42:00,687 Did you ever cry before a game? 628 00:42:00,687 --> 00:42:03,357 Only during and after. Never before. 629 00:42:03,357 --> 00:42:05,984 Before the match is reserved for anxious vomiting. 630 00:42:06,527 --> 00:42:10,614 I'm getting emotional myself. Chris, would you mind if I wept? 631 00:42:10,614 --> 00:42:13,408 Not at all, Arlo. Would you mind if I vomited? 632 00:42:14,326 --> 00:42:16,370 Think we might've blew it with the video, Coach. 633 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:19,039 I couldn't disagree more. Ain't that right, Roy? 634 00:42:19,831 --> 00:42:22,584 You fucking smashed it. 635 00:42:27,714 --> 00:42:31,301 We've played a quarter of an hour and remained deadlocked. 636 00:42:31,301 --> 00:42:32,511 West Ham with a corner. 637 00:42:33,470 --> 00:42:35,055 A lovely ball there. 638 00:42:35,055 --> 00:42:36,640 Armando shoots, 639 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,517 but it's saved by Van Damme. 640 00:42:38,517 --> 00:42:39,852 That's all right. 641 00:42:39,852 --> 00:42:41,728 I hear he wants to be called Zorro now. 642 00:42:41,728 --> 00:42:43,313 Well, it's about time. 643 00:42:44,982 --> 00:42:46,733 Richmond seem to have settled down. 644 00:42:46,733 --> 00:42:50,654 They're on the attack, ticking along with the precision of a Swiss clock, 645 00:42:50,654 --> 00:42:53,156 with Jamie Tartt as its central cog. 646 00:42:53,782 --> 00:42:54,992 Tiki-taka. 647 00:42:54,992 --> 00:42:56,827 Tiki-fucking-tedious. 648 00:43:03,083 --> 00:43:07,421 Trickery from Tartt. The outside of his boot to Rojas. 649 00:43:08,172 --> 00:43:09,506 - So close. - Shit! 650 00:43:10,549 --> 00:43:11,466 Shit. 651 00:43:11,466 --> 00:43:12,593 Oh, shoot. 652 00:43:12,593 --> 00:43:13,969 Well, something happened. 653 00:43:15,846 --> 00:43:18,765 Jamie Tartt is going to carve West Ham up if they keep letting him. 654 00:43:19,349 --> 00:43:24,271 Come on, Richmond! Come on, Richmond! 655 00:43:24,271 --> 00:43:27,357 That's all right, fellas. Keep calm and get fired up. 656 00:43:27,357 --> 00:43:28,442 Here we go, Greyhounds! 657 00:43:29,109 --> 00:43:31,195 West Ham looking dangerous here, Arlo. 658 00:43:32,946 --> 00:43:34,740 - And Quizet scores... - No! 659 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:36,658 - ...past a diving Zorro. - Goddamn it! 660 00:43:38,202 --> 00:43:40,245 It's okay. It's okay. 661 00:43:43,165 --> 00:43:44,541 - Come on, Richmond! - Richmond! 662 00:43:44,541 --> 00:43:46,418 Come on, Richmond! 663 00:43:46,418 --> 00:43:49,505 Bad moment for the keeper, but that mask is cool as hell. 664 00:43:49,505 --> 00:43:51,173 He's got that going for him, Chris. 665 00:43:51,173 --> 00:43:53,175 That's okay, fellas. Let's go! 666 00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:59,598 West Ham are gaining ground. Richmond are playing in reverse. 667 00:44:01,391 --> 00:44:03,435 Come on, boys! 668 00:44:07,189 --> 00:44:08,190 Hey, Nate. 669 00:44:08,690 --> 00:44:10,275 Yeah. 670 00:44:10,275 --> 00:44:11,652 Is that what I think it is? 671 00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:13,195 Yep. Man City just scored. 672 00:44:13,779 --> 00:44:16,990 In Manchester, City have taken the lead against Liverpool. 673 00:44:16,990 --> 00:44:18,659 It's okay. All right. Okay. 674 00:44:18,659 --> 00:44:21,745 Here in West London, the Hammers are on the attack. 675 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,960 Richmond absolutely cannot concede here, Arlo. 676 00:44:28,627 --> 00:44:29,670 And they've conceded! 677 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:30,629 No! 678 00:44:30,629 --> 00:44:34,424 West Ham extend their lead. Richmond's dreams are in tatters. 679 00:44:39,471 --> 00:44:41,098 Shit! Don't say "shit." 680 00:44:46,687 --> 00:44:51,525 And at the half, it's West Ham 2, Richmond's title hopes 0. 681 00:44:53,318 --> 00:44:56,238 Chris Powell, how would you sum up the first half? 682 00:44:56,238 --> 00:45:00,534 Richmond's Cinderella story seems to be turning into a big, fat pumpkin. 683 00:45:08,834 --> 00:45:11,086 - Just go. - All right. 684 00:45:15,841 --> 00:45:18,010 Shut your butts and sit your mouths down! 685 00:45:20,888 --> 00:45:22,222 You know what I meant. 686 00:45:25,934 --> 00:45:26,935 Thanks, Coach. 687 00:45:31,148 --> 00:45:34,151 Well, fellas, we got our work cut out for us in the second half. 688 00:45:34,151 --> 00:45:36,904 But you know, I'll get to all that in a minute. 689 00:45:36,904 --> 00:45:41,074 No, right now, all I wanna do is let you gentlemen know 690 00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:44,161 what an absolute honor it's been to be your coach. 691 00:45:46,538 --> 00:45:48,665 Getting to work with y'all these last three years 692 00:45:48,665 --> 00:45:51,084 has truly been one of the greatest experiences of my life. 693 00:45:52,586 --> 00:45:55,047 I've loved getting to know each and every single one of you. 694 00:45:56,548 --> 00:45:59,510 Learning all about the men you were 695 00:45:59,510 --> 00:46:03,680 and getting a front-row seat to see the men you all have become. 696 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,977 And I wanna thank you for your patience with me. 697 00:46:08,977 --> 00:46:11,980 You know, when I showed up here, I didn't know one thing about soccer. 698 00:46:11,980 --> 00:46:13,440 But now-- 699 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,734 Well, now I know at least one thing about football. 700 00:46:19,947 --> 00:46:22,908 I'm just so gosh damn proud to be a part of this team. You know? 701 00:46:24,910 --> 00:46:26,370 And I love you guys. 702 00:46:34,169 --> 00:46:35,295 I'm gonna miss y'all. 703 00:46:40,008 --> 00:46:41,635 Now, regarding this second half... 704 00:46:44,346 --> 00:46:46,890 Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? 705 00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,308 No one does. 706 00:46:48,308 --> 00:46:50,519 Sports would be a lot less fun if we did. You know? 707 00:46:51,562 --> 00:46:53,730 And you all would probably make a lot less money, so-- You know? 708 00:46:55,941 --> 00:46:58,777 We don't wanna know the future. No, no, we wanna be here right now. 709 00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:01,613 And look, I know we're down a couple goals. 710 00:47:01,613 --> 00:47:04,366 But I'm telling you, man, 711 00:47:05,742 --> 00:47:10,122 if y'all play hard, play smart, play together and just, you know... 712 00:47:20,215 --> 00:47:21,550 Just do what y'all do, 713 00:47:22,676 --> 00:47:26,305 and we'll go out with the peace of mind knowing we did our best. Right? 714 00:47:26,889 --> 00:47:29,558 - That we tried. Yeah? - Yes, Coach. 715 00:47:29,558 --> 00:47:30,809 All right. 716 00:47:32,603 --> 00:47:34,146 Anybody else have something to say? 717 00:47:38,233 --> 00:47:40,235 - Coach. - Yeah, Sam, what you got? 718 00:49:09,324 --> 00:49:11,076 Yeah, let's go. Let's do it. 719 00:49:13,996 --> 00:49:16,415 That's my bit. I know where that went. 720 00:49:25,507 --> 00:49:27,050 This one goes here. 721 00:49:30,053 --> 00:49:32,306 - Hold on. No, no. - Just right there. 722 00:49:33,348 --> 00:49:34,349 There you go. 723 00:49:44,401 --> 00:49:48,155 And there it is. Number four. Yeah? 724 00:49:54,578 --> 00:49:55,704 All right, let's bring it in. 725 00:50:06,924 --> 00:50:10,219 I know folks like to say, "There's no place like home." 726 00:50:11,678 --> 00:50:13,639 That's true. You know. 727 00:50:18,352 --> 00:50:22,272 Man, there ain't a whole lot of places like AFC Richmond either. 728 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,318 Captain? 729 00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:32,199 {\an8}- Richmond on three. One, two, three... - Richmond! 730 00:50:35,577 --> 00:50:37,829 The Greyhounds have come out for the second half 731 00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:41,291 looking like the team we've seen win 16 matches in a row. 732 00:50:41,291 --> 00:50:44,336 Playing a style of football that is as fun to watch 733 00:50:44,336 --> 00:50:45,796 as it is to play. 734 00:50:45,796 --> 00:50:48,048 Well, it makes me wish I was down there right now, Arlo. 735 00:50:48,048 --> 00:50:51,176 Not playing, because I'm old and likely to get hurt. 736 00:50:52,261 --> 00:50:53,887 Audacious from Tartt. 737 00:50:55,639 --> 00:50:57,933 Rojas cuts inside. He shoots! 738 00:50:58,559 --> 00:50:59,768 Off the post! 739 00:51:01,436 --> 00:51:02,855 Obisanya, 740 00:51:02,855 --> 00:51:04,565 off the woodwork again! 741 00:51:04,565 --> 00:51:06,108 No, no, no! 742 00:51:06,108 --> 00:51:07,025 Hughes! 743 00:51:08,068 --> 00:51:09,945 Another miss! 744 00:51:13,574 --> 00:51:16,326 And Tartt finally puts it away 745 00:51:16,326 --> 00:51:19,371 in the 51st minute, and Richmond have a lifeline! 746 00:51:19,371 --> 00:51:20,706 Yes! Get in! 747 00:51:20,706 --> 00:51:23,083 Yeah, Jamie Tartt! 748 00:51:23,083 --> 00:51:25,043 The entire front four were involved. 749 00:51:25,043 --> 00:51:27,671 - And Tartt put it home. - Jamie Tartt, dun-dun-du-dun-un 750 00:51:27,671 --> 00:51:29,798 This feels like trouble for West Ham, Arlo. 751 00:51:29,798 --> 00:51:33,177 The one thing they cannot afford to do is let Jamie Tartt get going. 752 00:51:33,177 --> 00:51:36,180 For fuck's sake, George, do something. Mark him. 753 00:51:36,180 --> 00:51:37,556 Get in there. 754 00:51:39,683 --> 00:51:41,310 And here come Richmond again! 755 00:51:41,310 --> 00:51:43,312 Tartt loses his marker. 756 00:51:43,979 --> 00:51:45,314 Referee! 757 00:51:46,481 --> 00:51:48,192 And it's a penalty! 758 00:51:48,192 --> 00:51:50,360 Richmond have been relentless this half. 759 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,613 Now, Tartt wins them a chance to equalize. 760 00:51:52,613 --> 00:51:54,531 Okay. Here we go. 761 00:51:55,574 --> 00:51:57,367 That was professional from Tartt. 762 00:51:57,367 --> 00:51:59,870 Not quite a dive, but not much of a foul either. 763 00:52:01,246 --> 00:52:04,208 Yes, Jamie Tartt, you fucking genius! 764 00:52:06,668 --> 00:52:07,669 Hey. 765 00:52:09,129 --> 00:52:10,547 Knock it in, muchacho. 766 00:52:11,757 --> 00:52:12,758 Sure. 767 00:52:18,722 --> 00:52:20,057 Crush it, Capitan. 768 00:52:20,057 --> 00:52:21,600 What the fuck, bruv? 769 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,018 Okay. 770 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,604 Just take it, mate. 771 00:52:25,604 --> 00:52:27,481 - Bruv. - It'll be fun. 772 00:52:29,816 --> 00:52:30,776 El Isaac. 773 00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:33,320 Is McAdoo stepping up? 774 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:34,613 Oh, shit. 775 00:52:34,613 --> 00:52:35,822 Wait, what? 776 00:52:35,822 --> 00:52:37,908 McAdoo to take the penalty? 777 00:52:37,908 --> 00:52:39,785 I wouldn't trust him to take an aspirin. 778 00:52:46,792 --> 00:52:50,003 Isaac McAdoo has never taken a penalty 779 00:52:50,003 --> 00:52:51,797 in his entire career. 780 00:52:51,797 --> 00:52:55,634 - This is madness from 18 yards. - Come on, man. You got this, bro. 781 00:53:02,307 --> 00:53:04,434 - Let's go! - Shit. 782 00:53:04,434 --> 00:53:06,103 Okay, gents, outside the area, please. 783 00:53:18,115 --> 00:53:19,616 It's like he's shooting a free throw with his feet. 784 00:53:20,701 --> 00:53:25,038 This is McAdoo's moment. If he scores here, the comeback is on. 785 00:53:26,123 --> 00:53:28,959 It's gone over the bar and into the stands! 786 00:53:35,716 --> 00:53:37,342 Hang on a second. 787 00:53:37,342 --> 00:53:40,637 Mike Dean wants a closer look at something. 788 00:53:41,889 --> 00:53:42,848 - What? - Wait. 789 00:53:54,359 --> 00:53:56,153 Mike Dean's calling it a goal. 790 00:53:56,153 --> 00:53:57,988 - How is it possible? - What? 791 00:53:59,156 --> 00:54:00,657 Did McAdoo just hit the ball 792 00:54:00,657 --> 00:54:03,327 - through the bloody net? - Oh, fuck! 793 00:54:03,327 --> 00:54:04,912 I think he did, Chris. 794 00:54:06,663 --> 00:54:09,458 We've never seen anything like this, 795 00:54:09,458 --> 00:54:11,502 and the score is 2-2. 796 00:54:13,128 --> 00:54:14,588 2-2. 797 00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,884 West Ham are furious. And you can't really blame them. 798 00:54:18,884 --> 00:54:21,220 This is unprecedented. 799 00:54:21,220 --> 00:54:22,679 What just happened? 800 00:54:22,679 --> 00:54:25,015 We need to take another look at that penalty, Arlo. 801 00:54:25,015 --> 00:54:28,227 And look, he cannons the ball through the net! And-- 802 00:54:28,227 --> 00:54:30,521 Oh, goodness me. I hope that fan's okay. 803 00:54:32,105 --> 00:54:34,024 Come on, Richmond! 804 00:54:37,361 --> 00:54:39,404 - Oh, my God. It's him. - That is a lot of blood. 805 00:54:39,404 --> 00:54:40,489 Yes! 806 00:54:44,284 --> 00:54:45,285 Finally. 807 00:54:48,205 --> 00:54:51,041 And as a result of McAdoo's superhuman foot, 808 00:54:51,041 --> 00:54:54,628 we'll have a bit of a stoppage as the grounds crew race to replace the net. 809 00:55:05,597 --> 00:55:06,598 Where's he going? 810 00:55:14,898 --> 00:55:17,109 Huddle. Huddle. Come on. 811 00:55:17,109 --> 00:55:21,280 Hang on, Rupert Mannion is out on the pitch and he's headed to the dugout! 812 00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:22,948 - ...going right on the-- - Oi. 813 00:55:22,948 --> 00:55:25,409 - What are you doing? - What the fuck are you doing? 814 00:55:25,409 --> 00:55:27,369 What are you talking about? 815 00:55:27,369 --> 00:55:31,206 Tartt is out there doing whatever he fucking wants. 816 00:55:31,206 --> 00:55:33,292 Yeah. But I've got two players on him already. 817 00:55:33,292 --> 00:55:34,751 Take him out. 818 00:55:35,669 --> 00:55:36,753 Are you joking? 819 00:55:36,753 --> 00:55:38,338 Get rid of him. 820 00:55:38,338 --> 00:55:41,717 This is remarkable. Rupert Mannion remonstrating 821 00:55:41,717 --> 00:55:43,927 with his own manager on the pitch. 822 00:55:43,927 --> 00:55:45,637 - You don't see this very often. - What's he doing? 823 00:55:45,637 --> 00:55:47,973 Well, not since the invention of telephones at least. 824 00:55:48,682 --> 00:55:52,311 - I'm not playing the game like that. - You do what I say or you are done. 825 00:55:53,187 --> 00:55:54,605 Fuck off. 826 00:55:54,605 --> 00:55:56,481 Oh, dear. 827 00:55:56,481 --> 00:55:58,942 Ugly scenes at Nelson Road. 828 00:55:58,942 --> 00:56:00,819 Rupert Mannion's nuts. 829 00:56:00,819 --> 00:56:03,238 - And George Cartrick's. - Damn it, Chris. 830 00:56:03,238 --> 00:56:05,824 Oi, ref, there's three balls on the field! 831 00:56:06,825 --> 00:56:08,118 What? 832 00:56:12,581 --> 00:56:13,999 Get up. 833 00:56:17,419 --> 00:56:18,795 Get up! 834 00:56:21,256 --> 00:56:23,300 Okay, gents. Let's go, please. We're back. 835 00:56:24,468 --> 00:56:26,345 George. Put 'em away. 836 00:56:26,345 --> 00:56:27,513 Oh, yeah. 837 00:56:38,398 --> 00:56:40,150 Right. Come on, lads. Get out there. 838 00:56:41,401 --> 00:56:46,073 Come on! You can take these. You've got more heart. 839 00:56:46,073 --> 00:56:48,534 That's what I wanna see. More passion. 840 00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:52,246 O'Neill, keep the midfield tight. Come on! 841 00:56:52,246 --> 00:56:53,664 Hearts of lions, lads! 842 00:56:54,289 --> 00:56:55,582 Hearts of lions! 843 00:56:58,544 --> 00:56:59,962 Wanker! 844 00:56:59,962 --> 00:57:02,798 - Wanker! - Wanker! Wanker! 845 00:57:02,798 --> 00:57:05,843 Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! 846 00:57:10,931 --> 00:57:12,057 Wanker! 847 00:57:13,392 --> 00:57:17,229 Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! 848 00:57:28,657 --> 00:57:30,409 And the game goes on. 849 00:57:30,409 --> 00:57:32,786 Presumably without Rupert Mannion. 850 00:57:39,501 --> 00:57:42,963 Ever since the match resumed, West Ham have had all the momentum. 851 00:57:42,963 --> 00:57:46,341 They're pinging this around, and Richmond can't get the ball off them. 852 00:57:48,135 --> 00:57:50,345 A lob into the box. 853 00:57:50,345 --> 00:57:51,889 Zoreaux knocks it. 854 00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:52,806 Oh, no. 855 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,977 The Hammers pounce. Back into the mixer. 856 00:57:58,061 --> 00:57:59,855 And it's 3-2! 857 00:57:59,855 --> 00:58:03,108 Heaven for the Hammers. Heartbreak for the home side. 858 00:58:06,195 --> 00:58:07,738 What the fuck are you laughing at? 859 00:58:07,738 --> 00:58:09,656 - Fourteen was offside. - What? 860 00:58:10,991 --> 00:58:12,951 VAR are checking the replay. 861 00:58:14,620 --> 00:58:15,704 Offside. 862 00:58:15,704 --> 00:58:17,372 - The goal's been disallowed. - Boom. 863 00:58:17,372 --> 00:58:21,793 A stay of execution for Richmond as West Ham are called for offside. 864 00:58:24,588 --> 00:58:25,589 Thank you. 865 00:58:29,134 --> 00:58:31,803 - It's not counterfeit. - Not a reflection on you. 866 00:58:33,639 --> 00:58:37,476 One minute of added time remaining in Richmond's miracle season. 867 00:58:37,476 --> 00:58:38,519 Come on. Put your foot in. 868 00:58:38,519 --> 00:58:41,563 The Greyhounds are running out of time and ideas. 869 00:58:41,563 --> 00:58:44,858 - Come on. - Do they have one miracle left? 870 00:58:47,027 --> 00:58:49,154 Tartt, completely boxed in. 871 00:58:49,154 --> 00:58:51,698 He finds Montlaur bearing down on goal. 872 00:58:52,616 --> 00:58:53,992 Montlaur is brought down. 873 00:58:53,992 --> 00:58:56,745 And Richmond have a free kick in a dangerous position. 874 00:58:57,704 --> 00:58:58,539 Come on. 875 00:59:02,709 --> 00:59:04,711 - Come on. - Come on. 876 00:59:04,711 --> 00:59:08,173 This could be useful. What can Richmond order up here? 877 00:59:08,173 --> 00:59:11,093 - Okay. Come on. Talk to me, geese. - Lasso Special. 878 00:59:11,093 --> 00:59:13,262 We're too close for that. Loki's Toboggan? 879 00:59:13,262 --> 00:59:15,597 That's a long-ass toboggan ride. Upside-Down Taxicab. 880 00:59:15,597 --> 00:59:17,599 - It's tough without Cockburn. - Wait. Hold on. 881 00:59:17,599 --> 00:59:20,435 Hey, Nate. Nate, come here. Come on. Hurry up. Come on. 882 00:59:20,435 --> 00:59:21,770 Yeah, of course. 883 00:59:21,770 --> 00:59:24,648 - Hey, fellas! Hey! - I don't know what-- 884 00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:28,902 Time is running out. What can the Greyhounds conjure here? 885 00:59:31,446 --> 00:59:32,447 Here, hold that. 886 00:59:32,447 --> 00:59:33,949 It's an Oscar! 887 00:59:33,949 --> 00:59:36,702 It's heavy. It's a little heavy. There you go. Yeah. 888 00:59:37,411 --> 00:59:38,412 Or the ESPY. 889 00:59:41,081 --> 00:59:43,333 All right. Here we go. Give me that. Okay. 890 00:59:43,333 --> 00:59:45,419 - You know what you're doing? 891 00:59:45,419 --> 00:59:46,879 - Yeah. - I'm good. Yeah. 892 00:59:50,924 --> 00:59:53,218 It all comes down to this. 893 00:59:54,428 --> 00:59:56,180 Obisanya lays it off to Dixon. 894 00:59:56,180 --> 00:59:57,764 Come on, come on. 895 00:59:59,516 --> 01:00:02,019 Dixon switches the play to Bumbercatch. 896 01:00:04,354 --> 01:00:06,356 Tartt makes his run into the box. 897 01:00:06,356 --> 01:00:09,067 Yeah! Pass me the ball. Me, me! I want the ball! 898 01:00:09,067 --> 01:00:10,194 Pass me the ball, please. 899 01:00:10,194 --> 01:00:12,196 Obisanya's unmarked. 900 01:00:16,491 --> 01:00:17,951 A beautiful ball in. 901 01:00:17,951 --> 01:00:18,911 Barbecue sauce. 902 01:00:23,957 --> 01:00:28,128 Richmond have done it! Oh, my God, the Greyhounds have done it! 903 01:00:31,924 --> 01:00:34,259 Yeah! Go, Dad! 904 01:00:35,594 --> 01:00:38,430 Yes! Yeah! 905 01:00:38,430 --> 01:00:41,558 Nelson Road is in rapture! 906 01:00:45,854 --> 01:00:48,815 - You used my play! You used my play! - Yeah, I did! Yeah! 907 01:00:51,443 --> 01:00:53,028 Come on. Bring it-- Bring. 908 01:01:01,828 --> 01:01:04,081 Mike Dean blows for full time. 909 01:01:04,915 --> 01:01:06,750 Yeah! 910 01:01:08,377 --> 01:01:09,670 Thank you, good game. 911 01:01:09,670 --> 01:01:12,130 And the fans are storming onto the pitch! 912 01:01:12,130 --> 01:01:14,675 And you simply cannot blame them! 913 01:01:21,014 --> 01:01:22,015 We won. 914 01:01:35,153 --> 01:01:36,572 Come on. 915 01:01:42,202 --> 01:01:44,121 Look what you did, Rebecca! 916 01:01:44,121 --> 01:01:46,248 - Go, Richmond! - Look what you did! 917 01:01:46,248 --> 01:01:49,126 - I didn't do it. - Yes, you fucking did! 918 01:01:49,710 --> 01:01:53,463 There's a fun sight. Ted Lasso celebrating with his team. 919 01:01:53,463 --> 01:01:57,342 I never know how to react when a white guy does the running man in front of everyone. 920 01:02:01,930 --> 01:02:03,098 Well, what a game, Arlo. 921 01:02:03,098 --> 01:02:05,100 Well, Richmond have done all they can, 922 01:02:05,100 --> 01:02:07,561 so it's time to head over to the Etihad Stadium 923 01:02:07,561 --> 01:02:10,731 to see the fate of the Premier League title. 924 01:02:36,715 --> 01:02:38,091 - Ready? - Just these two, please. 925 01:02:38,091 --> 01:02:40,177 - ...flight 822 to Kansas City. - Sure. 926 01:02:42,513 --> 01:02:44,181 - All right. Appreciate you. - Thank you. 927 01:02:51,772 --> 01:02:53,941 - Are you Ted Lasso? - Yeah. I'm one of them. 928 01:02:53,941 --> 01:02:56,485 Oh, mate, sucks about Richmond coming in second. 929 01:02:56,485 --> 01:02:58,904 - Man City are just too good, yeah. - Yeah. 930 01:02:58,904 --> 01:03:02,115 - Are you heading home for a cheeky visit? - I'm heading home for good, actually. 931 01:03:02,115 --> 01:03:05,702 That's stupid. Should have stayed, crushed it. Legend. 932 01:03:06,620 --> 01:03:07,913 Just a bit unlucky at the end. 933 01:03:09,039 --> 01:03:10,874 - Can I get an ussie? - Yeah, sure. 934 01:03:10,874 --> 01:03:11,875 Sick. 935 01:03:18,549 --> 01:03:19,925 - Wicked. - Kinky Boots. 936 01:03:35,524 --> 01:03:37,192 Now what the heck are you doing here? 937 01:03:37,192 --> 01:03:40,028 I just bought a ticket to get through security 938 01:03:40,028 --> 01:03:43,156 so I could come and say a proper goodbye. 939 01:03:44,783 --> 01:03:47,077 Classic rom-com leave-cute tactic. 940 01:03:47,995 --> 01:03:49,621 Love it. Okay. 941 01:03:49,621 --> 01:03:51,290 Hold on. You bought yourself a first-class ticket 942 01:03:51,290 --> 01:03:53,876 - for a flight you ain't ever gonna take? - It was just force of habit. 943 01:03:53,876 --> 01:03:55,210 Oh, yeah. Sure. 944 01:03:56,295 --> 01:03:58,046 I see you're sticking around though, huh? 945 01:03:59,715 --> 01:04:01,925 Well, Ted, you're going home to your family and... 946 01:04:04,386 --> 01:04:06,513 I actually want to stay with mine. 947 01:04:09,725 --> 01:04:12,561 It's a great picture, you know. Can't wait to read the article. 948 01:04:13,145 --> 01:04:14,563 It's not bad, actually. 949 01:04:14,563 --> 01:04:17,524 I would have preferred if they hadn't described me as the "club matriarch." 950 01:04:18,317 --> 01:04:20,944 Yeah. I mean, it does have more gravitas than "soccer mom." 951 01:04:27,868 --> 01:04:29,453 - Thank you. - Thank you. 952 01:04:29,453 --> 01:04:31,288 - Sorry. No, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. 953 01:04:31,288 --> 01:04:32,289 Please, you go first. 954 01:04:35,375 --> 01:04:36,376 Thank you. 955 01:04:38,670 --> 01:04:39,671 Thank you. 956 01:04:44,927 --> 01:04:47,804 Yeah. 957 01:04:59,525 --> 01:05:00,526 Okay. 958 01:05:13,830 --> 01:05:15,624 - There you are. - Thank you. 959 01:05:38,272 --> 01:05:40,315 Seat belt sign has now been illuminated, 960 01:05:40,315 --> 01:05:41,692 so please take your seat. 961 01:05:41,692 --> 01:05:43,527 The cabin door has been closed. 962 01:05:43,527 --> 01:05:46,446 Flight attendants, please prepare for gate departure. 963 01:05:53,996 --> 01:05:55,247 Coach, is this nuts? 964 01:05:56,290 --> 01:05:57,249 Us leaving like this? 965 01:05:57,249 --> 01:06:00,085 I mean, we almost won the whole frigging thing, you know? 966 01:06:01,044 --> 01:06:03,922 Saying goodbye to a bunch of nice folks. 967 01:06:04,756 --> 01:06:09,261 And I know I've finally accepted that air conditioning is a privilege 968 01:06:09,261 --> 01:06:10,721 and not a right. 969 01:06:12,556 --> 01:06:14,183 I don't know. What do you think? 970 01:06:20,355 --> 01:06:21,773 I can't do this. 971 01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:27,487 I don't wanna go, Ted. I'm in love with Jane. 972 01:06:30,574 --> 01:06:32,868 I wanna stay, and I don't wanna let you down. 973 01:06:32,868 --> 01:06:36,413 But with your permission, I'd love to run off this plane and into her arms. 974 01:06:37,748 --> 01:06:40,125 Well, I mean, what about your luggage? 975 01:06:40,125 --> 01:06:42,836 - Forget my luggage. It's full of rice. - What? Why? 976 01:06:42,836 --> 01:06:45,756 - I haven't slept for three days, man. - Okay. I'm sorry, you know. 977 01:06:45,756 --> 01:06:48,383 I've been dreading this. Talking to you. Abandoning you. 978 01:06:48,383 --> 01:06:52,012 What? No, no, no, hold on, Coach. You ain't abandoning me, okay? 979 01:06:52,679 --> 01:06:55,182 You're just following your heart. I get it. 980 01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:57,518 And, yeah, you should go. 981 01:06:58,602 --> 01:07:00,979 But look, man, I don't think they're gonna let you off this plane 982 01:07:00,979 --> 01:07:02,189 with that door already shut. 983 01:07:09,821 --> 01:07:10,697 I have a plan. 984 01:07:11,823 --> 01:07:14,952 Of course you do. Okay. What do you need me to do? 985 01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:19,957 Whatever's about to happen, that's a great start. 986 01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:22,751 I love you, Ted. 987 01:07:25,379 --> 01:07:26,630 I love you too, Willis. 988 01:07:30,259 --> 01:07:32,636 - Oh, boy. - My appendix! 989 01:07:32,636 --> 01:07:34,346 - The other side, Coach. - Thank you. 990 01:07:35,556 --> 01:07:37,015 Oh, my God. Are you all right, sir? 991 01:07:39,601 --> 01:07:40,727 Call the medics. 992 01:07:57,578 --> 01:07:59,830 Would you like to go to the hospital with your friend? 993 01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:04,209 Nah. I'm okay. Thanks though. 994 01:08:08,130 --> 01:08:09,756 What a fucking arsehole. 995 01:08:12,217 --> 01:08:15,137 Flight attendants cross-check. Please prepare for departure. 996 01:08:40,037 --> 01:08:41,205 Oh, God! 997 01:08:42,456 --> 01:08:44,457 Little love, are you all right? 998 01:08:53,884 --> 01:08:55,051 It's you. 999 01:08:55,051 --> 01:08:56,845 Wie is dat, Papa? 1000 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:01,265 Rebecca. 1001 01:09:02,850 --> 01:09:04,102 Rebecca. 1002 01:09:43,475 --> 01:09:45,185 We've got to put this one this way. 1003 01:09:47,729 --> 01:09:51,942 Please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond, Roy Kent! 1004 01:10:35,360 --> 01:10:37,112 - Hello! - Hi! 1005 01:10:39,448 --> 01:10:40,991 Nice to see you. 1006 01:10:52,169 --> 01:10:53,462 {\an8}- Thank you. - Cheers. 1007 01:10:54,963 --> 01:10:56,548 {\an8}- Your name? - Shannon. 1008 01:11:00,719 --> 01:11:02,596 I have something to show you. 1009 01:11:35,128 --> 01:11:37,673 Go down a little. And by little, I actually mean, 1010 01:11:37,673 --> 01:11:39,341 - like, three inches. - Yeah. 1011 01:11:40,384 --> 01:11:41,885 Stop. Good going there, Roy. 1012 01:11:42,636 --> 01:11:43,804 All right, bring me down. 1013 01:12:06,660 --> 01:12:08,537 Isn't it marvelous that we can gather here 1014 01:12:08,537 --> 01:12:13,709 on this most historical of monuments under the gaze of his good Lordship? 1015 01:12:13,709 --> 01:12:19,131 Friends and family sharing the love that is entwined 1016 01:12:19,131 --> 01:12:21,383 for Beard and Jane. 1017 01:12:21,383 --> 01:12:23,260 And not just Beard and Jane, 1018 01:12:23,260 --> 01:12:26,430 for Jane beareth one of God's newest children. 1019 01:12:26,430 --> 01:12:27,931 And I know... 1020 01:12:31,351 --> 01:12:35,355 This is your captain. Welcome to Kansas City International Airport. 1021 01:12:49,912 --> 01:12:52,372 He's here! Dad's here! Come on! 1022 01:12:59,171 --> 01:13:00,964 Dad! Dad! 1023 01:13:03,217 --> 01:13:04,426 Hey. 1024 01:13:13,977 --> 01:13:15,395 Yep. Thank you. 1025 01:13:16,355 --> 01:13:18,023 Come on, man. Talk to me. How are you doing? 1026 01:13:18,023 --> 01:13:19,149 - Good. - Yeah? 1027 01:13:19,900 --> 01:13:20,901 What's new? 1028 01:13:33,914 --> 01:13:37,042 All right. Good save. Let's go. Come on. Let's attack. 1029 01:13:37,042 --> 01:13:39,419 Find some space, Henry. There you go. 1030 01:13:39,419 --> 01:13:40,796 Come on, Henry! 1031 01:13:41,338 --> 01:13:42,881 All right. Let it rip. 1032 01:13:45,092 --> 01:13:47,344 - All right, that's okay. - Shoot. 1033 01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:50,472 Hey, Henry. Come here, man. 1034 01:13:52,516 --> 01:13:55,102 - Hey, you okay? - Can't believe I missed that. 1035 01:13:55,102 --> 01:13:58,188 Hey. Don't worry about all that, okay? What do we say, huh? 1036 01:13:59,898 --> 01:14:00,899 Be a goldfish. 1037 01:14:00,899 --> 01:14:02,192 That's right. 1038 01:14:02,192 --> 01:14:03,819 All right. Now, come on now. Get on out there. 1039 01:14:03,819 --> 01:14:06,697 - Have some fun, yeah? Attaboy. - Okay, yeah. 1040 01:14:07,489 --> 01:14:09,283 Come on, boys. Good job, Henry.