1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,170 ["The Tracks of my Tears" playing] 2 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:19,227 - [sighs] - Doesn't feel real, Mae being gone. 3 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,854 - I'm sorry about your loss, boys. - Hey, it's your loss too. 4 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,397 Yeah, we didn't know her like you did, though. 5 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,692 Yeah, Mae was like a mum to us, which meant a lot 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,860 because we all grew up with shit mums. 7 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,779 That's not true. I love my mum. 8 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,322 Yeah, my mum's incredible. 9 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,074 - Yeah, my mum's sweet too. - [murmuring] 10 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,909 Okay, great. That must be nice. 11 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,286 All your great fucking mums. 12 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,039 Let's keep today about Mae, yeah? 13 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,165 - To Mae. - [chuckles] 14 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,501 - To Mae. - To pineapple. 15 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,754 So I see you lost the tan. 16 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,922 Yeah, out of respect for Mae. 17 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,508 She thought it came off as anti-Brit. 18 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,217 And the diamond stud? 19 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,635 Mae thought it was pretentious. 20 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,719 - Oh. - [Henry] Mmm. 21 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,179 But you kept the dangly earring. 22 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,639 - Oh, Mae liked that. - Oh. 23 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,891 She said it reminded her of the ear tag on her favorite sheep. 24 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,102 - [Michelle] Oh. - Wait, Mae had a favorite sheep? 25 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,436 - [all] Doug! - [stammers] 26 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,313 Oh, wow. 27 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,400 You think you know someone. 28 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,694 - Thank you. Yep. - Okay. 29 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,154 - Roll up for the sweet nectar of Ireland. - Here you go. 30 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,365 Mae's favorite, everyone. Get in. 31 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,700 Mae was Irish, was she? 32 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:16,910 No, but we are, so get it right. 33 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,161 Okay, little game, yeah? 34 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:23,291 So first go, glug, glug, glug. You gotta split the G on the Guinness. 35 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,710 Oh, yeah. This is like an Irish tradition, innit? 36 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:31,340 I think you'll find that this juvenile practice actually originated in Britain. 37 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,719 [attendees groaning, murmuring] 38 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,013 Oh, hold on. 39 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,098 Oh. [mutters] 40 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,059 [clamoring] 41 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,479 [cheering] 42 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,401 I hate funerals, 43 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,236 - but I love the drinks after. - Mmm. 44 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,865 The service cracks you open and the booze fills in the gaps. 45 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,408 Hmm. Until it doesn't. 46 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,659 Mmm. 47 00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,870 - To Mae. - To Mae. 48 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,122 - [phone buzzing] - Oh. 49 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,292 - [grunts] Oh, dear. - What is it? 50 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,127 - You're in trouble. - [buzzing continues] 51 00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,172 {\an8}I'm gonna take this outside. 52 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,718 [huffs, whimpering] 53 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,096 Are you okay? 54 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,973 [Keeley] Yeah, I'm okay, babe. 55 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,226 [phone ringing] 56 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,896 It seems like it comes and goes in... [retching] 57 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,113 [groans, exhales sharply] ...in waves. 58 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,325 [phone ringing] 59 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,372 {\an8}[Roy] Fuck off. 60 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,208 [toilet flushes] 61 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,504 - [door opens] - [Keeley] Ooh. 62 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,506 That was close. 63 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,799 [Roy] Mmm. 64 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,009 [exhales sharply] 65 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,012 Oh, thanks, babe. 66 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,974 Nope, nope, gross. 67 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,642 [Roy] Sorry, okay. 68 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,687 [grunts, sighs] 69 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,021 Ooh. 70 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,775 So do you have any lingering funeral thoughts you need to purge? 71 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,777 Uh... 72 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,613 Yeah. I worry that Mae's death is our fault. 73 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,281 We're pregnant. 74 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,950 We're bringing one soul into the world, so another one has to go. 75 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,785 Who the fuck do you think you are? 76 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,788 - Thanos? [laughs] - [snorts] 77 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,206 What about you? 78 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,084 Any dark, unsettling truths strike you during the service? 79 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:34,339 I mean, just the realization that everything can change in a moment. 80 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,258 You've changed. 81 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,093 My body is changing. [chuckles] 82 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,096 - I have noticed. - Uh-huh. 83 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,850 Yeah, everything's changing around us constantly. 84 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,602 It's happening really fast. 85 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,688 I'm really excited and I'm a little freaked out. [grunts] 86 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,772 I hear you. 87 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,902 But do not worry, you got me, and I'm not changing a-- 88 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,778 - [phone ringing] - Fucking hell! 89 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,031 [Keeley chuckles] 90 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,949 - What? - [Derrick] Roy, baby, there you are. 91 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,451 What the fuck do you want? 92 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:06,078 [chuckles] Cut to the chase. I love it. Are you sitting down? 93 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,163 Yeah, sure. 94 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,332 Well, you, my friend, our favorite client, 95 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:12,752 have just been offered the head coaching job at Chelsea. 96 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,170 Congratulations, my man. 97 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,631 This is huge for both of us. 98 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:19,800 Not that it's about me, of course, but not that it isn't either. 99 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,927 [chuckles] Amazing, right? 100 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,012 Sure. 101 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,889 - We should go for drinks to celebrate. - Talk to you later. 102 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,266 Get a bit of champagne-- 103 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,311 [groans] 104 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,522 Roy? 105 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,819 - [Roy retching] - [mouthing words] Oh, my God. 106 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,988 How you doing, bud? 107 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,323 Fine. 108 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,242 I told him we can leave if it's too much. 109 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,744 I told you, I'm fine. 110 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,830 [Ted] Mm-hmm. 111 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,668 So what's gonna happen to the pub then? 112 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:56,254 [clicks tongue] It's a good question. I don't know. 113 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,965 Are we gonna have to move? 114 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,218 Yeah, I wish I had these answers for you, big guy, 115 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,302 but that's one of them things about life. 116 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,055 Sometimes they throw big changes at you in bunches. 117 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,475 Yeah, I know. I live in London now. 118 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,104 I'm gonna go play darts. 119 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,608 He does, in fact, live in London now. 120 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,694 Gotta give him that one. 121 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,113 [Michelle sighs] 122 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,115 Oh, what you play? Come on, get in the game. 123 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,118 - You play? All right. - Yeah. 124 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,537 Hey, do you get along with your mum? 125 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,707 - I mean, yeah, I love my mom. - [chuckles] 126 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,000 How you doing? 127 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,087 Yeah, yeah, good. Um, no, I did-I did a thing. 128 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,422 [Gemma] You got it framed. 129 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,340 Well, I thought they might wanna put it up in the bar somewhere. 130 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,427 [chuckles] That is a really lovely thought. 131 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:48,014 All right, don't sound so surprised. I can be nice. 132 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,183 [Gemma] But why am I pulling such a weird face? 133 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,560 - Yeah, it's my favorite bit. - [chuckles] 134 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,562 [door opens] 135 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,355 Who is that? 136 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,238 [spits] No, no, fuck no, fuck no. 137 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,574 [whispers] Jesus, Jane, what are you doing here? 138 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,909 How can you ask me that? 139 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,702 Meg was my best friend. 140 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,329 If that were true, you would know her name was Mae, 141 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,331 and you wouldn't be dressed like a hooker's bridesmaid. 142 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:15,208 [gasps] Don't grief-shame me. 143 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:18,503 Anyway, I can't stay long. My show opens in the West End tonight. 144 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,881 Incredible cast, massive buzz. 145 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,424 I'm even wearing this vintage jewelry 146 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,469 that was given to me with the silly expectation I'll ever return it. 147 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,054 I truly don't want to know a single thing about it, 148 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,933 - but at least now I know why you're here. - You're always picking a fight with me. 149 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,434 Fine, I'll go. 150 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,437 I'll miss those eyes though. 151 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,358 What are you doing? 152 00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:43,110 - Your earring is caught in my ring. - Ow. 153 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,071 Ow! I got it. I got it. I got it. [inhales sharply] 154 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,907 - [cries, gasps] - [grunts] 155 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:49,785 [exhales sharply] 156 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,248 - [exhales sharply] - [groaning] 157 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,544 - Rebecca, I need to tell you something. - Mmm? 158 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,462 - Oh, yeah. Uh. - Oi! 159 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,672 - Oi! - [clinks glass] 160 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,091 - [Niamh] Hello! Uh. Everybody. - What we got here? 161 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,551 If it's no bother, we'll have a tune for Mae. 162 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:09,512 It's an Irish tradition called "The Parting Glass." 163 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,721 I'm just checking. 164 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,390 - Mae was not Irish. - No, she was not. 165 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,100 - Not Irish. No. - Not Irish, copy that. 166 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,852 - No, start the song. - Can I do the harmonies though? 167 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,353 [Siobhan hums] 168 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,479 [both harmonizing] 169 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,649 - [Siobhan] Start the song. Let's go. - [Niamh] Yeah? 170 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,276 [clears throat] 171 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:32,411 ♪ Of all the money that e'er I had ♪ 172 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:39,293 ♪ I spent it in good company ♪ 173 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,591 ♪ And all the harm I've ever done ♪ 174 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:51,889 ♪ Alas it was to none but me ♪ 175 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:59,145 ♪ And all I've done for want of wit ♪ 176 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:04,234 ♪ To memory now I can't recall ♪ 177 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:10,908 ♪ So fill to me the parting glass ♪ 178 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:17,039 ♪ Good night and joy be with you all ♪ 179 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:23,921 ♪ Of all the comrades that e'er I had ♪ 180 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:29,551 ♪ They're sorry for my going away ♪ 181 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:35,432 ♪ And all the sweethearts That e'er I had ♪ 182 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:41,522 ♪ They'd wish me one more day to stay ♪ 183 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:48,819 ♪ But since it fell unto my lot ♪ 184 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:54,326 ♪ That I should rise and you should not ♪ 185 00:08:55,118 --> 00:09:00,874 ♪ I'll gently rise and softly call ♪ 186 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:07,130 ♪ Good night and joy be with you all ♪ 187 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,677 - That's what I'm fucking talking about! - [attendees applauding] 188 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,845 - To Mae. - [all] To Mae. 189 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:16,098 [all] To Mae! 190 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:22,228 - [all chattering] - To Mae. 191 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,815 [sorrowful music playing] 192 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,238 Hey. 193 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,156 You okay? 194 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:36,075 [sniffles] Yeah. 195 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,953 Yeah. I... I just... 196 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:43,208 I... I just wish that she could help me with my homework again. 197 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,463 Yeah, I know. 198 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,051 [sighs] 199 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,349 You know, when we lose someone 200 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:04,855 i-it can really put things into perspective, you know? 201 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:10,944 Can even make all this football stuff seem pretty silly. [chuckles] 202 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,863 If Mae heard you say that, she'd reach out of her grave 203 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,199 and pull you back down with her. 204 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,409 Yeah, that's why I didn't say it too loud. 205 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,828 [both chuckle] 206 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,664 [sniffles] 207 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:24,458 [sighs] 208 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,051 How did your dad die? 209 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,055 Um... 210 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,807 Yeah, uh, well, um... 211 00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,562 Nana told me that he fell down some steps and hit his head. 212 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,356 Is that true? 213 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,151 Yeah. 214 00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,783 And he was around your age? 215 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,828 Yes. 216 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,706 Hey. 217 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,835 Don't worry, I'm good on stairs. 218 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,965 You ain't gonna lose me anytime soon, I promise. 219 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,675 You hear me? 220 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,468 Yeah. 221 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:25,143 - [hopeful music playing] - [sniffles] 222 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,523 Is it okay if we go back down? 223 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,274 Yeah, sure. 224 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,276 [sniffles] 225 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:39,949 [door opens] 226 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,202 {\an8}[acoustic theme music plays] 227 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,472 - Morning. - Morning. 228 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,474 [receptionist] Morning. 229 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:08,686 Hey, Coach, when you were growing up, your folks would lie to you, right? 230 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,689 [scoffs] You kidding? All the time. 231 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:14,401 About Santa Claus, cigarettes, the moon landing, tons of stuff. Why? 232 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,279 {\an8}Well, Henry was asking me for some straight talk the other day 233 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,326 {\an8}and I went a little too serpentine on him for my liking. 234 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:23,994 {\an8}[Coach Beard] Okay. 235 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,664 {\an8}Got to assume you had a good reason for doing so, right? 236 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:29,583 {\an8}Yeah. 237 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:34,128 {\an8}Well, then, so long as those reasons aren't tied to your own discomfort 238 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:37,424 {\an8}or fucked up belief that Oliver North was some kind of goddamn hero, 239 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:39,801 {\an8}you probably made the right call. 240 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,895 - Right, Seanie, pop that in there. - Okay. 241 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,355 - [Lizzie] Good boy. Listen. - [groans] 242 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:54,690 You're with dad now and I'm going to work, all right? 243 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,651 Yeah, Mummy is off to play football. 244 00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:58,986 Right, you be good at school. Listen to your teachers, please. 245 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,071 And you be good for Dad, all right? 246 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:03,366 Yes, be good for Dad because I don't want any of what happened last time. 247 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,034 - [Sean, Archie chuckling] - What happened last time? 248 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:09,372 Well, unfortunately... [blows raspberry] Archie, no farting in the car. 249 00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:10,581 - It was you, Dad! - Archie. 250 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,209 - It was me? It was not me. - Were you farting in the car? 251 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,293 - They were farting! - Were they? 252 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,420 - It was... [trills lips] You stink. - You stink. 253 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,922 - I'm closing the door. - This is your fault. 254 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,049 - They both smell, have to close the door. - [Ben] Stinky boys. 255 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,218 - You've made stinky children. - Closing the door, stinky boys. 256 00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:26,014 - [Archie, Sean chuckling] - [singsongy] Stinky little boys. 257 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,140 - [sighs] - Okay. 258 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,809 - Thanks for that, Ben. - Yeah. 259 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,602 Um, also you're still good for Saturday, yeah? 260 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,020 Uh, yeah, I should be, yeah. 261 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,481 No, no, no "should be"... [stammers] ...we're not doing that. 262 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,607 No, I've got a match. 263 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,651 It's the last match of the season, so I need you to do it. 264 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,112 Okay, listen, I might have a radio gig in Manchester. 265 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,280 - What do you want me to do? - No. 266 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,364 I... Well, I want you to do it. 267 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,782 - I can't. It's my job. - Keep your promise 268 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,659 - 'cause I've asked you to do this... - I'm not not keeping--- 269 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,245 Okay, okay, okay, look... 270 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,875 I'm not the one that decided to try and be an athlete after having two kids, am I? 271 00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:55,586 Elle. 272 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,880 - Shit. - [wistful music playing] 273 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:02,134 All right. Okay, boys, we're driving, yeah, let's rock and roll. 274 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,094 [Archie] Yeah! 275 00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:06,930 Bye. 276 00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:18,733 What-What do you mean we have to go? 277 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,736 Rebecca, we are legally required to attend the shareholders' meeting next week, 278 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,696 even if we have no idea who's going to show up. 279 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,281 Well, I'm not going. 280 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:27,742 There aren't any real bloody shareholders left anymore, 281 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:31,162 - thanks to Rupert. - Oh, I feel for you. I do. 282 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:34,582 It's like when Roger Waters tried to take Pink Floyd back. 283 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,337 And Rupert didn't even write Dark Side of the Moon, did he? 284 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,005 You want me to be there for you, a bit of moral support? 285 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,882 - Oh, that's very kind of you. - [inhales sharply] Yeah. 286 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,718 But the lack of attendees is actually the one aspect I'm happy about. 287 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,802 [Zelda] Mmm. 288 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,263 In more potentially pleasant, uh, non-Pink Floyd news, 289 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,683 moving the last match of the season to Nelson Road is well underway. 290 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,561 Oh, well, that was a bit of a debacle last time, wasn't it? [exhales] 291 00:14:55,562 --> 00:15:00,149 Well, since the Bristol win, yay, we've had a mild uptick in ticket sales. 292 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,109 We are close to a sellout, yes? 293 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,320 Um... 294 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,283 - No. - Don't worry, guys. I've got this. 295 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,285 [Rebecca] Ah, Keeley. 296 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,828 You look serious. 297 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,581 Thank you, haven't slept, too inspired. 298 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,625 We're gonna need a big push if we're gonna get to sold out. 299 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:18,751 What's the best way to do that? 300 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,087 Viral video, of course, but we've tried that. 301 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,713 Wait, first video, what went wrong? 302 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,967 It was too self-important. Made football feel like homework. 303 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,552 How? Wasn't like that when we shot it. 304 00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,262 It was fun 'cause the team is fun. 305 00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,390 So I went back and I... 306 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,601 I'm just gonna show you. 307 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,021 - Well, I'm intrigued. - [Keeley] Good. You should be. 308 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,065 Because you're in it. 309 00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,110 [Rebecca] But now, a message! 310 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,736 ["I Love It" playing] 311 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:48,281 [both] It's our time. [chuckles] 312 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,074 - Give her the Oscar! - [all laughing] 313 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:52,286 [imitating Siobhan, Niamh] "It's our time." 314 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:56,497 [children giggling] 315 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:57,958 Where are you? 316 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:00,710 Am I right? 317 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:04,965 AFC Richmond is always supporting this community. 318 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,967 - Where are you? - [laughing] 319 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,427 [Rebecca, child chanting] Where are you? 320 00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,971 - Where the [bleep] are you? - [Rebecca] Yeah! 321 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,389 [laughing, snorting] 322 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,641 - [laughing] - That's sick. That's great. 323 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,310 Let's be having you! 324 00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:18,979 [chuckles] 325 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,276 - Where... - [laughing] 326 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,570 - ...are... - [cheering] 327 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,823 - ...you? - [players] You! [laughing] 328 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,576 Everyone I know has seen this. It's like Game of Thrones. 329 00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:35,745 Yeah, but our lives have way less sex and violence. 330 00:16:35,746 --> 00:16:36,829 [scoffs] Speak for yourself. 331 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,914 - Oh-- - Oi! 332 00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:39,291 - Behave. - Sorry. 333 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,877 I think drunk Rebecca might be my new spirit animal, you know? 334 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:44,879 I am definitely dressing up as her for Halloween this year. 335 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:45,963 [all laugh] 336 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,591 Okay, fine. I'll go as Higgins then and just stand awkwardly by you all night. 337 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,134 [all laugh] 338 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,011 All right guys, come on, let's lock in a little bit. 339 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,346 Big game today. 340 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,931 So what, you're the captain now? 341 00:16:54,932 --> 00:16:57,308 - No, obviously not. [mutters] - You're acting like the captain. 342 00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:59,393 - Can you stop being a bit nasty? Can you? - Bloody hell! 343 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,937 Hang on, hang on. 344 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,897 Oi, where is Lizzie? 345 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,525 [all muttering] 346 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,528 - Right, I'm gonna head out. - Okay. 347 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,530 Unless you want me to stay, and I will. 348 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:11,989 No, I love that you're going. 349 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,825 And I am going to watch from our comfy couch... 350 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,286 - Mm-hmm. - ...in my comfy clothes, 351 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,997 next to a comfy bin, 352 00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:22,625 ready for when our baby turns me into The Exorcist. 353 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:23,877 [both chuckle] 354 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,549 The exorcist is actually the priest... 355 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:32,469 who removes the demon that caused the vomiting. 356 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,805 Which is why people... What the fuck am I banging on about? 357 00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:37,557 - Who cares? I'm so sorry. - [chuckles] 358 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,643 Love you. 359 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:43,396 [door closes] 360 00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,815 Game day, y'all. Game day. 361 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,525 - Here we go. Game day. [whoops] - Here we go, up top. 362 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,110 - No. - [Ted] No worries. 363 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:52,738 Okay, so look, I have some ideas for today's starting lineup, all right? 364 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:53,865 Come on. 365 00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:55,408 Maybe it's time you got a new chair, Coach. 366 00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:57,034 It is a new chair, Coach. 367 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,536 - [groans] - Knock knock. 368 00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,580 Ah, good morrow, Sir Higgs-a-lot. 369 00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:02,748 Ah. Good morrow, yon coaches. 370 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,833 Yeah, sure. 371 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:06,460 I hope this isn't a bad time, but we have a visitor. 372 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:07,712 Hey up, Greyhounds. 373 00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,797 Nate the Great, are you kidding me? 374 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,007 Get out of town. Come on, man. 375 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,301 - How are you? It's so great to see you. - [Ted chuckles] 376 00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:15,011 - You too. Absolutely. - Look at you. 377 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,637 - Great to see you. Hey, buddy. - Hey, Coach. 378 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,182 - [Coach Beard chuckles] - Hey, have your eyes always been blue? 379 00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,184 Yep. 380 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:23,186 Uh, Nathan Shelley, this right here is Alice Chilton. 381 00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:24,687 - Alice, this is Nathan Shelley. - Nice to meet you. 382 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,022 - Nice to meet you. - Congratulations. 383 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:27,982 - You both just met a cool person. - [Nathan] Aw, lovely. 384 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,317 - How's the new gig going? - Yeah. 385 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,611 Great. Yeah, no, hey, how many people does it take 386 00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:33,404 to coach the Polish national football team? 387 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:34,948 Oh, I don't know. How many? 388 00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:36,825 Three. 389 00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:41,287 - Same as we got here. How about that? - Yeah, one, two, three. 390 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,496 Hey, what brings you in town, man? 391 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,748 Just visiting family. 392 00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:47,168 And then I... I saw the video of your team. Made me realize I'm long overdue a visit. 393 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:50,129 - Ooh. How's the baby? - [groans] Jade and I just... 394 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,006 We're just great. We love little Athena. 395 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:54,217 - Oh, my goodness, squeeze a little-- - [knocks on door] 396 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,511 - Is that fucking Wonder Kid? - Roy fucking Kent. 397 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,930 - How are you, mate? Nice to see you. - Nate, how are you? 398 00:18:58,931 --> 00:19:00,515 - I'm good, thank you. - It's good to see you. 399 00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,850 - It's nice to be back. [sighs] - Okay, you great coaching minds. 400 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,852 - I'll leave you to it. - [Ted] All right now. 401 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:07,772 Uh, Higgins, could you actually hang on for a minute? 402 00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:08,774 I, uh... 403 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,861 I fucking hate to say it, but I need some advice. 404 00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:15,197 [gasping] 405 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:20,993 - Uh, Diamond Dogs mount up. - [howling, barking] 406 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,912 There was something here that I used to get on top of. 407 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:26,124 - [panting] - [barking, howling continues] 408 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:33,257 - I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. - Woof. 409 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,716 I'm so sorry. Uh... [stammers] ...quick question. 410 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:36,968 Probably silly. 411 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:40,179 - W-What the fuck is happening? - Oh, no, great question. Uh, Coach? 412 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,307 The Diamond Dogs are, uh... Oh, my God. What did I used to say here? 413 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,517 [Higgins] Cartel? 414 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,894 - A c... A collective? - Conglomerate? 415 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,980 - A council maybe, or... - [Ted] Uh... c-coven. 416 00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:51,065 - Coven, coven, coven... No. - [blows raspberry] 417 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,608 - Cabal? - Or... 418 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:53,818 - [Higgins] Consort? - Collective? 419 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,486 - "Carsophagus"? Is that... Is... - "Carsophagus"? 420 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,405 For fuck's sakes. Look, the Diamond Dogs is just a thing 421 00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,448 where we talk about the shit that's in our heads 422 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:03,619 and nobody judges, but, for some reason, it has to start with some fucking barking. 423 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:06,163 - [all barking] - Ruff. 424 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,665 Right, so it's a... it's a guy thing. 425 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,334 Yeah, I mean, traditionally, yes, but, uh, you're more than welcome to stay. 426 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,460 Uh, you could be a cat. 427 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,546 Dogs can sometimes be female. 428 00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:16,007 Oh, right, duh. Uh, yeah, okay, be a dog. 429 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:18,259 - No, no, no. I... I want to be a cat. - [grunts] 430 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,261 Proceed. 431 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,431 Okay. So, uh... [inhales sharply] 432 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,016 Keeley's pregnant. 433 00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:27,185 - How about that? - Wow, Roy, congratulations. 434 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:28,519 Yeah, but it's only been two months, so... 435 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,104 Oh, yeah, no, I wouldn't start telling people yet. 436 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:32,481 - It's way too soon. - [imitating hounds whimpering] 437 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,026 Oh, I'm so sorry. That was... That was judgy, wasn't it? 438 00:20:35,027 --> 00:20:37,486 That was judgy. S-Sorry. [meows] 439 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,697 I know it's too soon to talk about, 440 00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,826 but I gotta get this fucking shit out of my head because... [inhales sharply] 441 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:44,870 ...I just mean... 442 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,415 I don't want to fuck up a perfect kid. 443 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,125 I think you're being a little tough on yourself there, bud. 444 00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:53,461 You've always done a, you know, wonderful job with Phoebe. 445 00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:55,421 Yeah, but being an uncle is a part-time gig. 446 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,383 Anytime Phoebe annoys me, I send her fucking home. 447 00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:01,220 But this kid's going to be stuck with me. 448 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,057 How do I make sure I'm a good dad? 449 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,060 [inhales sharply] 450 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,356 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 451 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,525 Well, I mean, fatherhood's one of them things 452 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,485 you ain't never gonna be ready for. 453 00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:21,197 Feels like yesterday I was crapping my khakis all worried about Henry being born, 454 00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:24,284 and here I am 12 years later, still wondering if I'm doing it right. 455 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,494 I guess I just got used to the smell. 456 00:21:26,495 --> 00:21:27,578 [chuckles] 457 00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:33,042 When Julie and I were expecting our first, my dad advised me, "If you drop your kids, 458 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:36,046 and you will, just pick them up as quick as you can." 459 00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:38,464 That's oddly comforting. 460 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,590 Oh. 461 00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:41,592 At the end of the day... [stammers] Can you all hear me from up here? 462 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:42,677 - Oh. Yeah, perfect. - Yeah. 463 00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:45,721 Yeah. End of the day, love wins, 464 00:21:45,722 --> 00:21:47,932 and if you can surrender to the emotion of it, 465 00:21:47,933 --> 00:21:50,184 that informs the decisions you make, 466 00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,520 head catches up with the heart. 467 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:54,814 [grunts] 468 00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,900 Roy, when I thought I was going to be a dad, I got more excited 469 00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:00,987 with each passing day until I finally realized 470 00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:03,532 that Jane had been pregnant for 11 months. 471 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:08,244 Having a kid is something a lot of people want, but not everyone gets. 472 00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:11,497 That uncertainty you're feeling right now, just remind yourself 473 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:14,458 that's something a lot of people hope to have. 474 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,711 [Ted] Hmm. 475 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,420 [sighs] 476 00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,463 [grunts] 477 00:22:19,882 --> 00:22:20,883 Thank you. 478 00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:24,385 [smacks lips] Oh, I see, it's a conversation. 479 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,262 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, it's just a conversation. 480 00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:27,513 But way cooler. 481 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,599 - Right. - Something you want to add, Coach? 482 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,311 [smacks lips, stammers] Um, 483 00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:36,063 I don't know if I even want kids myself, 484 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,316 but, um, 485 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:42,236 don't tell them that green beans taste delicious 486 00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:43,654 because they don't, 487 00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:46,991 and it will take them years to rebuild that trust again. 488 00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:48,576 That's a good point. 489 00:22:48,577 --> 00:22:51,580 And don't disappear when you feel inadequate. 490 00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,416 [gentle music playing] 491 00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:02,590 Um, yeah, well said. Okay, uh... 492 00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:05,635 Well, the Diamond Dogs and the, uh, Kitty Committee? Uh... 493 00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:08,137 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I want to be called the Cat People. 494 00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:09,222 Mm-hmm. Oh. 495 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:11,766 Point of order, but that's plural, and there's only one of you. 496 00:23:11,767 --> 00:23:13,726 - For now. - Fair play. 497 00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:16,979 Okay, well, the Diamond Dogs and Cat People have spoken! 498 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,190 [barking, howling] 499 00:23:19,191 --> 00:23:20,358 Ruff, ruff, ruff. 500 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,568 [meows] 501 00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:23,528 Oh, any word from Lizzie? 502 00:23:23,529 --> 00:23:25,364 I keep texting her, but she's not responding. 503 00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:27,865 - Just like all your boyfriends. - [laughs mockingly] 504 00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:30,159 - [Sean, Archie screaming, giggling] - Oh, my gosh. 505 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,245 I'm really sorry. I had an absolute nightmare of a morning. 506 00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:33,329 Can I give you them? 507 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:36,040 God, whoa, Lizzie, I didn't know it was Take Your Kids to Work Day? 508 00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:39,293 Yeah, well, when your ex is a fuck-tastic guy, 509 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,545 and he loves surprises, 510 00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:43,089 and he makes Mummy think really creatively about child care, 511 00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:44,215 then this is where we're at, so... 512 00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:45,299 Hi, guys. 513 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:46,969 - Sorry. - Should we sit down? 514 00:23:47,636 --> 00:23:48,970 Do you guys wanna have some fun? 515 00:23:48,971 --> 00:23:50,054 - Yeah. - Okay. 516 00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:51,556 - No, June, you don't have to do that. - It's okay, 517 00:23:51,557 --> 00:23:54,058 you're actually doing me a favor. I could use the child labor. 518 00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,226 Oh. 519 00:23:55,227 --> 00:23:57,270 Right, well, I think you'll find that it works 520 00:23:57,271 --> 00:23:59,105 when you pit them off against each other. 521 00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:00,274 - Got it. - Yeah. 522 00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:04,110 Okay, so which one of you is the fastest at folding towels? 523 00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:05,278 - Me, me, me. - I am, I am. 524 00:24:05,279 --> 00:24:07,238 Okay, but you've got to come out there and prove it to me. 525 00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:09,740 - First one out wins. - [Sean, Archie screaming, clamoring] 526 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:10,951 Bye. 527 00:24:12,411 --> 00:24:13,870 You good? 528 00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:16,206 I'm gonna kick that ball today like it's his fucking dick. 529 00:24:16,832 --> 00:24:17,915 Yeah, you're good. 530 00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:19,001 I'm good. 531 00:24:19,585 --> 00:24:21,836 [Matthijs] I really wanted to be there today. 532 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:24,922 Oh, I know, darling, but work is work. 533 00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:26,549 - I'll be there on Monday... - [knocks on door] 534 00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:29,844 ...or I'll quit my job and buy a football club just so I can see you more. 535 00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:33,181 Well, that is very sweet, but know that if you did, 536 00:24:33,182 --> 00:24:37,268 we would beat the living shit out of your stupid fucking crappy little garbage team. 537 00:24:37,269 --> 00:24:38,561 - Whoa. - Sorry, 538 00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:40,479 I slipped into a different mode just then. 539 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,773 - No, I liked it, and I love you. - [chuckles] 540 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:43,984 I love you. 541 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:46,694 Sorry, nearly ready. 542 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:49,322 No, no, take your time. How's your husband doing? 543 00:24:49,323 --> 00:24:51,449 Matt... Oh. No, we're not married. 544 00:24:51,450 --> 00:24:52,783 - Ah, smart. - Yeah. 545 00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:54,912 [Zelda] Marriage is bullshit anyway. 546 00:24:55,454 --> 00:24:57,246 If you're happy, or at least think you are, 547 00:24:57,247 --> 00:24:59,707 - why risk it, yeah? - [knocks on door] 548 00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:02,418 - I have some troubling news. - What? 549 00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:04,086 It's the Milk Sisters. [breathes shakily] 550 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,421 They've sold their shares. 551 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:06,756 [gasps] 552 00:25:06,757 --> 00:25:08,634 I-I was sure they'd never break. 553 00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:11,052 So this is why they didn't call you back either. 554 00:25:11,053 --> 00:25:12,303 Bastards. 555 00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:14,848 [stammers] I'm so sorry. 556 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:17,476 I can't believe this is happening. 557 00:25:22,606 --> 00:25:24,357 Hey. The kids said they have snacks in their bags? 558 00:25:24,358 --> 00:25:26,943 Yeah, they do, yeah, but you don't have to keep looking after them, June. 559 00:25:26,944 --> 00:25:29,737 It's okay, really. Just a heads up, they do have a little surprise for you, 560 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:31,280 but after that they'll be in their seats. 561 00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,575 Great. No, hang on. What surprise? 562 00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:37,246 Okay, gang. Let's all get behind the starting lineup. 563 00:25:37,955 --> 00:25:42,000 - Oh, go on, Shan! - [players cheering] 564 00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:44,461 [player] All right. 565 00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:47,422 All right. Hey, there you go. 566 00:25:48,382 --> 00:25:51,342 All right, y'all, here we go. Last match magic. 567 00:25:51,343 --> 00:25:52,635 - [players whooping] - Yes! 568 00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:55,388 You know, uh, I hadn't done this whole coaching thing in a couple of years, 569 00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:59,392 and I'm gonna be honest with you, I was nervous as hell to get back at it. 570 00:25:59,393 --> 00:26:00,476 [all laugh] 571 00:26:00,477 --> 00:26:02,562 But y'all have been incredible, for real. 572 00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:06,148 I want to thank each and every one of you for your patience, 573 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:08,818 for your hard work, and most importantly 574 00:26:08,819 --> 00:26:11,320 for expanding my wardrobe beyond khakis and chinos. 575 00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:12,488 [players chuckling] 576 00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:14,491 Though not evident this afternoon. 577 00:26:15,576 --> 00:26:16,868 So, look, I don't know what kind of crowd 578 00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:19,036 we're gonna have out there today, how many folks there is watching 579 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,873 and whatnot, but don't really matter 580 00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:23,124 because anybody that's here to watch y'all play 581 00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,750 is here 'cause they want to be here. 582 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:26,044 Same as us, yeah? 583 00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:28,505 That's what matters. 584 00:26:29,882 --> 00:26:31,841 In fact, I can only think of one person that ain't gonna be here 585 00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:32,925 that I know would want to be here, 586 00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:35,803 but assuming they got good Wi-Fi at the pubs up there in Heaven, 587 00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,930 - she gonna be watching y'all. - [players chuckle] 588 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,182 So you better play hard, babies! 589 00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:40,391 - [players] Yeah! - You heard the man. 590 00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:42,019 All right, come on, let's bring it in, yeah. 591 00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:45,563 Let's do this, baby. 592 00:26:45,564 --> 00:26:47,190 There you go. 593 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:49,275 All right, Richmond on three. Ready? One, two, three! 594 00:26:49,276 --> 00:26:50,443 [all] Richmond! 595 00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:54,113 [players cheering] 596 00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:58,075 [Lowe] Wow, Richmond fans are showing their thanks with an incredible turnout. 597 00:26:58,076 --> 00:27:00,620 And Nelson Road is absolutely pulsing. 598 00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:02,747 If this Richmond team was a body, 599 00:27:02,748 --> 00:27:05,541 this crowd would be its ever-beating heart. 600 00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:07,960 The singing of these fans like blood 601 00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:11,255 providing vital nutrients and precious oxygen. 602 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:13,216 - You guys good? - Yeah! 603 00:27:13,217 --> 00:27:14,592 Thank you so much. 604 00:27:14,593 --> 00:27:17,429 Okay. All right, come on, boys, focus. Be serious. 605 00:27:18,055 --> 00:27:20,264 [blows raspberry] Archie. 606 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:21,974 - It wasn't me. It was Sean. - It was Sean? 607 00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:23,059 - It was him! - It was him? 608 00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:24,143 Archie, was it you? 609 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:25,394 - No! - No? 610 00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:26,896 - It was him! - It was me. 611 00:27:26,897 --> 00:27:27,980 It was Boots! [laughs] 612 00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:29,232 [Lowe] It's Richmond against Crystal Palace... 613 00:27:29,233 --> 00:27:30,984 - Okay, come on. - ...and here come the teams. 614 00:27:32,528 --> 00:27:33,695 Whoo! Come on! 615 00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:38,032 [crowd cheering] 616 00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:40,743 [Lowe] AFC Richmond Women have done it. 617 00:27:40,744 --> 00:27:43,622 They've sold out Nelson Road Stadium. 618 00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:50,044 - [cheering] - Come on, Richmond! 619 00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:54,090 [Lowe] And it's an especially big day for Richmond's own Shannon Stone, 620 00:27:54,091 --> 00:27:56,635 in her first start for her childhood club. 621 00:27:57,219 --> 00:27:59,054 This is fucking incredible. [chuckles] 622 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,138 I changed my mind. I want to start. 623 00:28:01,139 --> 00:28:02,890 - [coaches] No. - [Gemma sighs] 624 00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:06,894 - [speaking Spanish] - [cheering] 625 00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:09,438 - Whoo! - [speaking French] 626 00:28:09,439 --> 00:28:12,067 - Whoo! - [in English] Let's go! Come on! 627 00:28:15,279 --> 00:28:18,364 Did you ever second guess leaving Richmond for Man U? 628 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,615 Yeah, sure. 629 00:28:19,616 --> 00:28:22,118 But as Dorothy learned, sometimes you have to go away 630 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,203 to know where home truly is. 631 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:25,496 I love The Wizard of Oz. 632 00:28:25,497 --> 00:28:26,664 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 633 00:28:26,665 --> 00:28:30,251 Dorothy is my auntie, who left my uncle for a dance instructor for a little while. 634 00:28:30,252 --> 00:28:32,254 Big, big scandal in the Obisanya family. 635 00:28:33,297 --> 00:28:36,507 - Let's go, Richmond! - [crowd cheering] 636 00:28:36,508 --> 00:28:38,844 Whoo! 637 00:28:49,396 --> 00:28:51,690 [shutters clicking] 638 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:05,787 [Keeley] I'm sorry. 639 00:29:06,496 --> 00:29:08,998 I should be at home resting, I know. 640 00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:10,000 I couldn't stay there. 641 00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,419 I had to come and feel the energy here. 642 00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:15,839 [cheering continues] 643 00:29:17,925 --> 00:29:19,092 Come on then. 644 00:29:19,968 --> 00:29:21,136 Where are we going? 645 00:29:23,597 --> 00:29:25,097 [crowd chanting] Come on, Richmond! 646 00:29:25,098 --> 00:29:26,516 Come on, Richmond! 647 00:29:26,517 --> 00:29:27,808 [chuckles] 648 00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:29,811 [chanting continues] 649 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,949 - Referee! What the fuck? - Okay, that's enough. 650 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,325 - Let's go. Come on. - That's my bad, sorry. 651 00:29:44,326 --> 00:29:46,118 Yeah. Sorry about that. But you did see that, right? 652 00:29:46,119 --> 00:29:47,578 - [Roy] I did see that. - That was foul play! 653 00:29:47,579 --> 00:29:49,622 - And that's why we're going back inside. - We're going. 654 00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:51,207 - Ooh! - Yeah! Nice! 655 00:29:51,208 --> 00:29:54,418 [Lowe] What Richmond have achieved this season would have been impossible 656 00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:57,129 without the leadership of Rebecca Welton. 657 00:29:57,130 --> 00:29:59,423 So long as her steady hand remains, 658 00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:02,427 Richmond's future looks very bright indeed. 659 00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:14,272 [Paul] This is the right day, isn't it? 660 00:30:14,273 --> 00:30:16,274 Yeah, where the fuck is everyone? 661 00:30:16,275 --> 00:30:17,608 I don't know. 662 00:30:17,609 --> 00:30:19,527 Why don't you both ask your amazing mums? 663 00:30:19,528 --> 00:30:21,572 - [door opens] - She probably would know. 664 00:30:30,414 --> 00:30:32,164 - [Higgins clears throat] - [microphone feedback] 665 00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:36,252 This meeting of AFC Richmond shareholders is called to order. 666 00:30:36,253 --> 00:30:38,880 - We'll begin with open comment. - [door opens] 667 00:30:38,881 --> 00:30:43,885 Aw, you poor gullible little babies. 668 00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:44,969 Zelda? 669 00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:46,429 Why are you here? 670 00:30:46,430 --> 00:30:49,807 Because it was me all along. 671 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:51,267 Dun dun dun! 672 00:30:51,268 --> 00:30:53,769 - [gasps] This is bad. - How do you know? 673 00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,271 She said, "Dun dun dun!" 674 00:30:55,272 --> 00:30:56,480 Sorry. 675 00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:57,690 What are you saying? 676 00:30:57,691 --> 00:31:01,152 It wasn't Rupert. 'Twas me all along. 677 00:31:01,153 --> 00:31:03,529 Again, sorry, what are you saying? 678 00:31:03,530 --> 00:31:05,156 It's very echoey in here. 679 00:31:05,157 --> 00:31:07,450 And you're so far away. 680 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:09,619 [groans] Fucking hell, I was trying to make a dramatic entrance. 681 00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:10,746 Okay, look. 682 00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:13,040 What I'm trying to say, 683 00:31:14,082 --> 00:31:16,709 is that it was me buying up the shares all along 684 00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:18,544 and not Rupert and blah blah blah. 685 00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:20,630 I now have a controlling interest in your team. 686 00:31:20,631 --> 00:31:22,257 Correction, my team. 687 00:31:23,425 --> 00:31:24,593 Ta-da! 688 00:31:25,427 --> 00:31:26,969 Now, she said, "Ta-da!" 689 00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,387 What have you done? 690 00:31:28,388 --> 00:31:29,722 Well, Rebecca, let me tell you, 691 00:31:29,723 --> 00:31:32,558 you remember my very, very good friend Hugo Riddles, 692 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:34,810 you know, the sleazebag with the punchable face? 693 00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:38,606 Well, it was he that was making house calls, 694 00:31:38,607 --> 00:31:41,317 buying up shares for me all over town. 695 00:31:41,318 --> 00:31:43,444 Higgins... [laughing] Oh. 696 00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:46,072 You were really hot on his tail for a minute there, 697 00:31:46,073 --> 00:31:48,157 until your obsession with Rupert, 698 00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:50,285 which you all seem to have, led you astray. 699 00:31:52,037 --> 00:31:54,539 - Leslie, you were so certain! - [gags] 700 00:31:54,540 --> 00:31:59,585 Then, once Hugo had finally persuaded those bleeding Milk Sisters 701 00:31:59,586 --> 00:32:00,878 to sell their shares. 702 00:32:00,879 --> 00:32:02,338 Well, that's me. 703 00:32:02,339 --> 00:32:04,340 I own over 50% of AFC Richmond. 704 00:32:04,341 --> 00:32:05,716 Bish bash bosh. 705 00:32:05,717 --> 00:32:07,760 Bob's your mother's brother. 706 00:32:07,761 --> 00:32:12,014 Why would you do this? What happened to women helping women? 707 00:32:12,015 --> 00:32:14,726 I am helping a woman. 708 00:32:15,352 --> 00:32:16,854 Me! 709 00:32:18,146 --> 00:32:22,108 Don't worry. I'm not gonna mess with your Lady Greyhounds. [blows raspberry] 710 00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:24,235 That's not what I was after. [sniffs] 711 00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:26,612 No, you see, I wasted a lot of time, 712 00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:29,824 trying to make the men who make the decisions in football listen to me, 713 00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:32,243 and the one way to make sure that they do 714 00:32:32,244 --> 00:32:35,705 is by owning a men's team in the Premier League. 715 00:32:35,706 --> 00:32:39,208 [singsongy] So, thank you! [chuckles] 716 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:42,044 Oh, Rebecca, don't look so surprised. 717 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:44,798 Come on. I mean, you knew from the beginning I'm a scorpion. 718 00:32:46,216 --> 00:32:48,843 [imitates scuttling noises] 719 00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:50,303 Scuttle, scuttle, scuttle. 720 00:32:50,304 --> 00:32:51,722 Sting, sting, sting. 721 00:32:59,396 --> 00:33:00,938 How's the homework going, big guy? 722 00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:03,232 - It's actually pretty tough. - Oh, yeah? 723 00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:05,819 Well, if you want, I can lend you a hand, unless it's math. 724 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,947 - It's math. - Ah, shoot. [chuckles] 725 00:33:15,454 --> 00:33:16,914 Um... 726 00:33:20,083 --> 00:33:21,710 Uh... 727 00:33:25,214 --> 00:33:27,591 I'm sorry I missed so many of your games this season. 728 00:33:28,759 --> 00:33:31,469 But I just want to let you know that I'm gonna shift some stuff around 729 00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:34,055 on my side of things and make sure that don't happen next year. 730 00:33:34,056 --> 00:33:35,098 I promise. 731 00:33:35,766 --> 00:33:36,767 Cool? 732 00:33:37,518 --> 00:33:38,935 Cool. Yeah. 733 00:33:38,936 --> 00:33:40,186 Good. 734 00:33:40,187 --> 00:33:42,189 [gentle music playing] 735 00:33:49,530 --> 00:33:55,201 And, uh, there's actually something else I want to talk about with you. 736 00:33:55,202 --> 00:33:56,328 Okay. 737 00:33:57,037 --> 00:33:58,121 Um... 738 00:33:59,957 --> 00:34:03,168 It's about how your grandfather passed away. 739 00:34:07,005 --> 00:34:09,007 Part of... [continues indistinctly] 740 00:34:19,059 --> 00:34:22,477 Leslie, you promised that we would keep control of the team! 741 00:34:22,478 --> 00:34:24,397 Yeah, I know, but the numbers kept on changing. 742 00:34:24,398 --> 00:34:25,564 Oh, and now we've lo... 743 00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:29,776 I've lost the club because of you, you moron! 744 00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:31,361 You can't say that to me! 745 00:34:31,362 --> 00:34:33,030 I love it when they turn on each other. 746 00:34:33,031 --> 00:34:35,533 I can't believe I ever trusted you! 747 00:34:35,534 --> 00:34:40,245 Yeah, but, Rebecca, what if when the Milk Sisters sold their shares, 748 00:34:40,246 --> 00:34:45,042 they didn't actually sell to Zelda after all? 749 00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,837 [elongated] What? 750 00:34:49,922 --> 00:34:53,260 - I don't get it. - Mr. Riddles, you can come out now. 751 00:34:54,469 --> 00:34:55,636 Hugo. 752 00:34:55,637 --> 00:34:57,722 [both] Dun dun dun! 753 00:34:57,723 --> 00:34:58,806 - Oh. - Good one. 754 00:34:58,807 --> 00:35:00,767 How could you betray me like this? 755 00:35:01,602 --> 00:35:02,685 What did they offer you? 756 00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:04,146 Absolutely nothing. 757 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,441 Zelda, you didn't ask me to go to the Milks. 758 00:35:08,442 --> 00:35:09,526 You demanded it. 759 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,778 And when you did, you were even meaner to me. 760 00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:15,990 We Riddlesses are deeply feeling. 761 00:35:15,991 --> 00:35:17,992 Oh, barf! [imitates retching] 762 00:35:17,993 --> 00:35:21,787 So, at that moment, I decided to drink the milk of human kindness 763 00:35:21,788 --> 00:35:24,749 through the straw that broke the camel's back. 764 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,379 And sell the shares to Rebecca instead, you pubeless twat. 765 00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:32,882 Yeah, but hang on. Your numbers don't add up, 766 00:35:32,883 --> 00:35:36,845 because that puts us both at 49%, so you don't have any more control than me. 767 00:35:37,346 --> 00:35:39,431 - Right. About that... - Yeah. 768 00:35:40,098 --> 00:35:41,350 - Leslie. - Mm-hmm. 769 00:35:43,769 --> 00:35:48,731 Zelda, I'd like you to meet Elaine Pinter, of Pinter and Sons. 770 00:35:48,732 --> 00:35:51,359 Elaine, I believe you had something you wanted to share with us. 771 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,777 Thank you, Rebecca. 772 00:35:52,778 --> 00:35:56,322 Yes, I'm speaking on behalf of a former client of ours. 773 00:35:56,323 --> 00:35:57,491 Her name... 774 00:36:00,118 --> 00:36:01,369 Did it freeze? 775 00:36:01,370 --> 00:36:02,745 ...was Mae Green. 776 00:36:02,746 --> 00:36:04,289 Classic Pinter pause. 777 00:36:04,790 --> 00:36:07,292 Ms. Green banked with our company for many years. 778 00:36:07,876 --> 00:36:10,754 She also asked us to execute her will. 779 00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:17,302 Are Mr. Blumenthal, Mr. La Fleur, and Mr. Primrose in attendance? 780 00:36:18,637 --> 00:36:20,138 - Ye-Yes, Miss. - Yes, milady. 781 00:36:21,682 --> 00:36:25,017 You three gentlemen are now the owners and proprietors 782 00:36:25,018 --> 00:36:26,686 of the Crown and Anchor pub. 783 00:36:26,687 --> 00:36:31,732 Ms. Green's only request in running the business was, and I quote, 784 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:35,237 "Don't fuck it up." And that she loves you. 785 00:36:36,029 --> 00:36:38,447 A colleague of mine is there waiting for you now. 786 00:36:38,448 --> 00:36:40,825 So we own the Crown and Anchor? 787 00:36:40,826 --> 00:36:42,243 Correct. 788 00:36:42,244 --> 00:36:43,870 [laughs] 789 00:36:43,871 --> 00:36:46,748 [all laughing] 790 00:36:51,545 --> 00:36:53,505 [whooping] 791 00:36:54,882 --> 00:36:57,967 [smacks lips] Are we watching the Looney Tunes? 792 00:36:57,968 --> 00:37:03,681 Uh, and now in regards to Ms. Green's 2% ownership stake in AFC Richmond... 793 00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:06,684 She recently amended her will to say, 794 00:37:06,685 --> 00:37:07,768 I, Mae Green, 795 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:12,191 ask that my entire holdings of AFC Richmond be given to Rebecca Welton. 796 00:37:12,858 --> 00:37:16,652 And anyone trying to take the club away from her can eat my arse. 797 00:37:16,653 --> 00:37:20,281 Hmm. A bit salty, but nonetheless legally binding. 798 00:37:20,282 --> 00:37:22,116 Well, that's all I have. 799 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:23,701 Go Greyhounds. 800 00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:24,827 - Thank you, Elaine. - Mm-hmm. 801 00:37:24,828 --> 00:37:27,080 - Speak to you soon. - [device chimes] 802 00:37:27,664 --> 00:37:29,208 Now, Zelda, I'm no maths whiz, 803 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:32,920 but I believe that puts me back over 50%. 804 00:37:34,004 --> 00:37:37,341 [scoffs] All right. [chuckles] You got me. 805 00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:40,177 It was worth a shot, you know? 806 00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:42,887 [sighs] 807 00:37:42,888 --> 00:37:44,013 I'm sorry, Rebecca. 808 00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:45,139 I... I really am. 809 00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:47,017 But, uh, you know what I'm like. 810 00:37:47,684 --> 00:37:49,310 - It's just-- - Who you are. 811 00:37:49,311 --> 00:37:50,896 - [sighs] - [Rebecca] I know. 812 00:37:51,772 --> 00:37:52,898 And I forgive you. 813 00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:57,568 I know you love the story of the scorpion and the frog. 814 00:37:57,569 --> 00:37:58,612 A lot of people do. 815 00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:01,156 But I care for a different one. 816 00:38:01,657 --> 00:38:03,991 A woman sees a scorpion drowning in the river, 817 00:38:03,992 --> 00:38:07,161 and she tries to help it over and over again and keeps getting stung. 818 00:38:07,162 --> 00:38:09,830 And a passerby says, "Why do you keep bothering 819 00:38:09,831 --> 00:38:12,876 to help something that hurts you over and over again?" 820 00:38:13,877 --> 00:38:17,339 And the woman says, "It's in the scorpion's nature to sting. 821 00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:20,133 Just as it's in my nature to save. 822 00:38:20,843 --> 00:38:23,762 Why would I change my nature just because of theirs?" 823 00:38:25,430 --> 00:38:26,515 [Zelda] Hmm. 824 00:38:27,558 --> 00:38:28,933 [sucks teeth] 825 00:38:28,934 --> 00:38:31,728 You think it's the same scorpion in both stories? 826 00:38:34,147 --> 00:38:36,942 I look forward to seeing you at the next shareholders' meeting. 827 00:38:37,568 --> 00:38:38,902 [groans] 828 00:38:40,863 --> 00:38:42,405 Well, I learned a long time ago 829 00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:46,450 that when you're not the craziest person in the room, it's time to leave. 830 00:38:46,451 --> 00:38:51,080 So, Hugo, take me home. 831 00:38:51,081 --> 00:38:53,666 - [grunts] - You bastard. 832 00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:55,543 [huffs, inhales deeply] 833 00:38:55,544 --> 00:39:00,047 I'm hotter for you now than I have ever been before. 834 00:39:00,048 --> 00:39:03,092 Right now, you're a naughty boy in big trouble. 835 00:39:03,093 --> 00:39:06,095 Well, I hope you punish me severely. 836 00:39:06,096 --> 00:39:07,180 [Zelda grunts] 837 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:08,931 [Higgins] Do you think it's wise to keep her on board? 838 00:39:08,932 --> 00:39:12,643 Well, like the man says, keep your friends close... 839 00:39:12,644 --> 00:39:14,146 And your scorpions closer. 840 00:39:16,398 --> 00:39:17,982 [phone chimes] 841 00:39:17,983 --> 00:39:20,277 [gentle music playing] 842 00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:49,223 [knocks on door] 843 00:39:49,932 --> 00:39:51,807 Good morning, Coach Kent. 844 00:39:51,808 --> 00:39:53,310 - You got a minute? - Course. 845 00:39:53,936 --> 00:39:55,811 [Rebecca sighs] 846 00:39:55,812 --> 00:39:58,481 Oh, but if this is about your big news, 847 00:39:58,482 --> 00:40:01,193 I already know. Congratulations. 848 00:40:01,693 --> 00:40:03,737 - Keeley told me. - She what? 849 00:40:04,238 --> 00:40:08,491 And please know that, even though I'm not family per se, 850 00:40:08,492 --> 00:40:10,577 I will insist on being called Auntie Supreme. 851 00:40:11,453 --> 00:40:12,537 Oh. 852 00:40:12,538 --> 00:40:14,330 I'm so thrilled for you both. 853 00:40:14,331 --> 00:40:16,208 - Thank you. Um... - [chuckles] 854 00:40:17,251 --> 00:40:19,252 There's actually something else I need to tell you about. 855 00:40:19,253 --> 00:40:20,586 Ooh. Tell me. 856 00:40:20,587 --> 00:40:23,422 Chelsea asked me to be their new manager, and I'm gonna say yes. 857 00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:24,674 Go fuck yourself. 858 00:40:24,675 --> 00:40:26,008 Wasn't an easy decision. 859 00:40:26,009 --> 00:40:28,886 What, to turn your back on the club that took you in 860 00:40:28,887 --> 00:40:31,681 when Chelsea kicked you to the fucking curb? 861 00:40:31,682 --> 00:40:36,811 The club that actually gave you a chance to be a manager in the first place. 862 00:40:36,812 --> 00:40:38,814 Oh, fuck, this is why you didn't sign your contract, isn't it? 863 00:40:39,356 --> 00:40:40,606 You and that... 864 00:40:40,607 --> 00:40:44,443 sockless twat of an agent of yours just stringing us along. 865 00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:46,988 - You don't believe that. - Oh, the fuck I don't. 866 00:40:46,989 --> 00:40:48,073 I need a drink. 867 00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:50,950 [muttering] Fucking hell. 868 00:40:50,951 --> 00:40:53,035 [liquid pouring] 869 00:40:53,036 --> 00:40:54,203 Is there booze in that? 870 00:40:54,204 --> 00:40:55,580 No, bellend. 871 00:40:55,581 --> 00:40:59,626 That is why I said I needed a drink. 872 00:41:00,711 --> 00:41:02,045 [sighs] 873 00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:06,757 Just so you know, they wanted me to start immediately, 874 00:41:06,758 --> 00:41:08,926 but I said no, not until the season's over. 875 00:41:08,927 --> 00:41:10,887 Oh, wow! 876 00:41:10,888 --> 00:41:13,556 Aw! That's so thoughtful of you. 877 00:41:13,557 --> 00:41:16,434 Roy Kent, Employee of the Year! 878 00:41:16,435 --> 00:41:19,146 Go get Higgins to give you a fucking plaque! 879 00:41:20,397 --> 00:41:22,815 Goddamn it, Roy! 880 00:41:22,816 --> 00:41:23,817 [sighs] 881 00:41:24,651 --> 00:41:26,110 Well, go on then. 882 00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:29,238 Aren't you gonna say... [imitating Roy] "Oh, I love Richmond. 883 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,700 It's just Chelsea's in my blood, Rebecca. 884 00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:36,872 If it was any other club, fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck-fuck." 885 00:41:37,664 --> 00:41:39,248 [normal voice] And you're hoping that I'm gonna say... 886 00:41:39,249 --> 00:41:43,127 [in sweet voice] "Oh, Roy, we always knew we couldn't keep you forever." 887 00:41:43,128 --> 00:41:45,172 [normal voice] Which actually is true. 888 00:41:45,881 --> 00:41:47,548 But there's something else I want to say. 889 00:41:47,549 --> 00:41:51,970 You are putting so much pressure on yourself moving there. 890 00:41:53,263 --> 00:41:57,809 You are taking the most massive risk. 891 00:41:59,186 --> 00:42:00,187 I know. 892 00:42:01,688 --> 00:42:03,732 But we've got to take risks, haven't we, Rebecca? 893 00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:06,776 Otherwise, what's the fucking point? 894 00:42:06,777 --> 00:42:09,737 I deserve for good things to happen in my life. 895 00:42:09,738 --> 00:42:11,239 [sighs] 896 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,573 Don't I? 897 00:42:12,574 --> 00:42:14,159 [sighs, clicks tongue] 898 00:42:15,994 --> 00:42:19,206 - You're right. - [chuckles] No. You're right. 899 00:42:19,915 --> 00:42:21,374 You're the one who said that. 900 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:22,876 And then you said... 901 00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:25,921 [imitating Rebecca] "Get out of your own way, man. 902 00:42:26,505 --> 00:42:30,716 This whole woe-is-me thing you're doing is fucking ponderous. 903 00:42:30,717 --> 00:42:32,176 Mmm." 904 00:42:32,177 --> 00:42:33,261 I don't sound like that. 905 00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:35,097 [normal voice] You sound exactly like that. 906 00:42:37,516 --> 00:42:38,517 And you were right. 907 00:42:41,103 --> 00:42:42,813 And I fucking love you for saying it. 908 00:42:46,650 --> 00:42:47,651 Okay. 909 00:42:48,735 --> 00:42:54,574 But know that when you get bored of Chelsea's unlimited budget 910 00:42:54,575 --> 00:42:56,577 and endless resources, 911 00:42:57,452 --> 00:43:01,415 you are always welcome to come crawling back to AFC Richmond. 912 00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:03,417 I will. 913 00:43:05,502 --> 00:43:07,838 Congratulations, Roy. Really. 914 00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,466 - [bittersweet music playing] - [chuckles] 915 00:43:14,178 --> 00:43:15,761 And the best of luck. 916 00:43:15,762 --> 00:43:17,181 With all of it. 917 00:43:17,890 --> 00:43:19,223 Thank you, Auntie Supreme. 918 00:43:19,224 --> 00:43:21,601 - [chuckles] Sounds good. - It does. 919 00:43:21,602 --> 00:43:24,520 - I can come back later. - Oh, we were just saying goodbye. 920 00:43:24,521 --> 00:43:26,314 Roy has some big news. 921 00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:27,732 Yeah. Which I know nothing about. 922 00:43:27,733 --> 00:43:29,484 Uh, actually you don't. 923 00:43:30,861 --> 00:43:33,237 I'm gonna be head coach of Chelsea next season. 924 00:43:33,238 --> 00:43:35,866 Hey. All right, congrats, Coach. 925 00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:38,285 - Thanks, Coach. - [Ted chuckles] 926 00:43:39,286 --> 00:43:40,287 You yell at him? 927 00:43:41,163 --> 00:43:43,332 Hmm. Was it scary? 928 00:43:44,124 --> 00:43:45,918 Mmm. But y'all are cool now, huh? 929 00:43:47,753 --> 00:43:48,962 Yeah, I love that. 930 00:43:50,714 --> 00:43:52,340 I gotta get going. 931 00:43:52,341 --> 00:43:53,424 Thank you. 932 00:43:53,425 --> 00:43:54,551 Cheers. 933 00:43:55,344 --> 00:43:57,012 [Rebecca exhales heavily] 934 00:44:01,266 --> 00:44:02,851 [sniffs] 935 00:44:04,561 --> 00:44:06,063 [sighs] 936 00:44:14,947 --> 00:44:16,073 You okay? 937 00:44:16,740 --> 00:44:18,158 Do you know how Mae died? 938 00:44:19,201 --> 00:44:21,578 - Well, I, uh-- - She died doing what she loved. 939 00:44:23,830 --> 00:44:25,499 And the rest of us, we're all still... 940 00:44:26,041 --> 00:44:27,751 in it, aren't we? 941 00:44:29,795 --> 00:44:33,965 We laugh, we hurt, we fall, we get back up. [sighs] 942 00:44:33,966 --> 00:44:35,217 We're a mess. 943 00:44:37,261 --> 00:44:38,679 And that is... 944 00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,642 fantastic. 945 00:44:45,227 --> 00:44:46,436 'Cause... 946 00:44:47,145 --> 00:44:49,064 being messy just means... 947 00:44:51,191 --> 00:44:52,609 being alive. 948 00:44:55,112 --> 00:44:57,281 And we could all do with being a bit more alive. 949 00:45:01,493 --> 00:45:04,830 [whispering] So what are you waiting for? 950 00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:16,633 Sorry, Ted, did you say something? 951 00:45:17,509 --> 00:45:19,469 No, not yet. [chuckles] 952 00:45:20,512 --> 00:45:21,513 But... 953 00:45:22,264 --> 00:45:25,057 funny enough, I was kinda hoping 954 00:45:25,058 --> 00:45:28,729 you and I could have a chat about your newly-opened manager position. 955 00:45:30,564 --> 00:45:33,733 [Coach Beard] "Under the nimble direction of Julie Taymor, 956 00:45:33,734 --> 00:45:35,651 Emma Stone is a revelation, 957 00:45:35,652 --> 00:45:39,780 forming an electric chemistry with her oblivious paramour, 958 00:45:39,781 --> 00:45:44,702 the Bearded Coach, as memorably portrayed by Richard Schiff." 959 00:45:44,703 --> 00:45:46,787 - Richard Schiff? - [Margy] Hey, Coach. 960 00:45:46,788 --> 00:45:48,039 Hey, guys. 961 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,123 How's your foot? 962 00:45:49,124 --> 00:45:51,042 - Tough way to end the season. - F... Yeah, I'm good. 963 00:45:51,043 --> 00:45:52,627 Caroline said it's just a hairline fracture. 964 00:45:52,628 --> 00:45:55,755 Yeah, but she promised not to dance on any more bars at the next party. 965 00:45:55,756 --> 00:45:58,216 No, I promised not to fall off any bars. 966 00:45:58,217 --> 00:46:01,386 [chuckles] Well, you're lucky to have someone to look after you. 967 00:46:03,055 --> 00:46:05,973 [stammers] Look, Coach, we know breakups can mess with a person's head. 968 00:46:05,974 --> 00:46:08,643 Mmm. Especially if your ex never really gets out of your life. 969 00:46:08,644 --> 00:46:11,854 And then goes on to write a hit show about your relationship. 970 00:46:11,855 --> 00:46:13,814 Yeah, which I actually thought was pretty moving. 971 00:46:13,815 --> 00:46:15,650 - [Margy] Oh, yeah. - You saw it? 972 00:46:15,651 --> 00:46:19,487 Yeah. And I think your character comes across as powerfully mysterious. 973 00:46:19,488 --> 00:46:22,824 Mmm. And Richard Schiff does a really good job at making you likable. 974 00:46:23,534 --> 00:46:27,203 Look, but despite all that, we want to let you know you're great. 975 00:46:27,204 --> 00:46:29,122 Yeah. Just the way you are. 976 00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:33,167 Thanks, M and M. I appreciate it. 977 00:46:33,168 --> 00:46:34,752 Right, well, we're off to the Cat Shelter. 978 00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:36,212 - Yeah. - You're adopting a cat? 979 00:46:36,213 --> 00:46:38,130 Oh, no, it's a lesbian bar in East London. 980 00:46:38,131 --> 00:46:40,299 They have a great brunch. Thank you. 981 00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:41,927 [gentle music playing] 982 00:46:43,262 --> 00:46:45,472 Hey, Siri, how old is Richard Schiff? 983 00:46:46,056 --> 00:46:48,140 [Siri] Richard Schiff is 71 years old. 984 00:46:48,141 --> 00:46:49,518 Oh, that's great. 985 00:46:50,060 --> 00:46:51,853 [in Dutch] Hey. My friend! 986 00:46:51,854 --> 00:46:53,187 Hey, Thijs. How's it going? 987 00:46:53,188 --> 00:46:55,273 - Good, and with you? - Ah. Top. 988 00:46:55,274 --> 00:46:58,402 What happened to all the mistakes and stuff on your face? 989 00:46:59,069 --> 00:47:01,071 - Trying to make fewer of them. - Oh, good. 990 00:47:01,655 --> 00:47:03,698 Now there's just a guinea pig left on your head. 991 00:47:03,699 --> 00:47:06,409 Guinea pig. [chuckling] 992 00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:08,620 - [in English] See ya. - Yeah. [in Dutch] Have a good day! 993 00:47:10,664 --> 00:47:12,416 Until next time. 994 00:47:13,166 --> 00:47:14,709 [knocks on door] 995 00:47:14,710 --> 00:47:16,294 - [Rebecca gasps] - [in English] Hello, my love. 996 00:47:16,295 --> 00:47:17,587 Hello. 997 00:47:17,588 --> 00:47:19,131 Roses for my English rose. 998 00:47:28,599 --> 00:47:29,682 Fuck it. 999 00:47:29,683 --> 00:47:31,059 Marry me. 1000 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:32,727 Oh... [chuckles] 1001 00:47:32,728 --> 00:47:35,104 Did you just say "fuck it" and then "marry me"? 1002 00:47:35,105 --> 00:47:36,439 Yeah, I did. 1003 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:37,857 Uh... Funny. [chuckles] 1004 00:47:37,858 --> 00:47:39,234 I wasn't joking. 1005 00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:42,737 I'm done being a marriage hater. 1006 00:47:42,738 --> 00:47:45,239 I actually really loved being married. 1007 00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,658 It was just to the wrong person. 1008 00:47:47,659 --> 00:47:49,036 But then you came along, 1009 00:47:50,204 --> 00:47:52,622 and I want to stop worrying about what might be wrong 1010 00:47:52,623 --> 00:47:54,625 and just start living my life. 1011 00:47:57,044 --> 00:47:58,045 With you. 1012 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,716 If you'd like to do that with me. 1013 00:48:04,218 --> 00:48:05,718 Are you proposing to me? 1014 00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:06,803 Yes. 1015 00:48:07,429 --> 00:48:08,555 In your office? 1016 00:48:09,848 --> 00:48:11,265 Yes. 1017 00:48:11,266 --> 00:48:13,435 Uh, that's romantic. 1018 00:48:14,478 --> 00:48:15,770 I got you some flowers. 1019 00:48:15,771 --> 00:48:17,940 - Oh, wow, my favorite. - Hmm. 1020 00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:20,484 And I'd get down on one knee, but, um, 1021 00:48:21,109 --> 00:48:25,280 it's quite hard to assume that position in a pencil skirt. 1022 00:48:28,784 --> 00:48:30,744 Well, someone's got to do it. 1023 00:48:31,703 --> 00:48:33,080 [chuckles] 1024 00:48:34,706 --> 00:48:35,707 Okay. 1025 00:48:38,043 --> 00:48:39,210 Rebecca Welton. 1026 00:48:39,211 --> 00:48:40,671 Yes. 1027 00:48:41,755 --> 00:48:44,049 Yes, of course, I will marry you. 1028 00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:48,094 Oh, my God. [chuckles] 1029 00:48:48,095 --> 00:48:49,470 Matthijs. 1030 00:48:49,471 --> 00:48:51,222 Oh, no, uh, this is absolutely not happening. 1031 00:48:51,223 --> 00:48:52,640 - [grunts] - Please get up and kiss me. 1032 00:48:52,641 --> 00:48:54,308 - [grunts] - [Rebecca chuckles] 1033 00:48:54,309 --> 00:48:55,561 [Matthijs inhales deeply] 1034 00:48:56,353 --> 00:48:57,436 Fucking hell. 1035 00:48:57,437 --> 00:48:59,022 [both laughing] 1036 00:48:59,731 --> 00:49:01,733 ["Clover" playing] 1037 00:49:06,613 --> 00:49:08,407 [birds chirping] 1038 00:49:11,493 --> 00:49:16,372 [Mae] When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn... 1039 00:49:16,373 --> 00:49:17,456 [Jeremy] First round's on us. 1040 00:49:17,457 --> 00:49:19,500 Welcome to the Crown and Anchor. 1041 00:49:19,501 --> 00:49:21,460 Did you know oysters come from the sea? 1042 00:49:21,461 --> 00:49:22,587 [patron laughs] 1043 00:49:22,588 --> 00:49:28,259 [Mae] ...when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, 1044 00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:30,262 and snaps the purse shut... 1045 00:49:36,351 --> 00:49:39,478 when death comes like the measle pox... 1046 00:49:39,479 --> 00:49:40,689 [clippers buzzing] 1047 00:49:44,359 --> 00:49:48,822 ...when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades... 1048 00:49:55,495 --> 00:50:00,250 I want to step through the door full of curiosity, 1049 00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:02,169 wondering... 1050 00:50:05,464 --> 00:50:07,174 what's it gonna be like, 1051 00:50:08,342 --> 00:50:10,469 that cottage of darkness? 1052 00:50:19,978 --> 00:50:26,318 And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, 1053 00:50:27,069 --> 00:50:31,073 and I look upon time as no more than an idea, 1054 00:50:32,491 --> 00:50:37,246 and I consider eternity as another possibility... 1055 00:50:40,582 --> 00:50:42,124 [sighs] 1056 00:50:42,125 --> 00:50:44,127 Something for everyone in that couple, ain't there? 1057 00:50:45,379 --> 00:50:49,090 - [sighs] - [vehicle beeping] 1058 00:50:49,091 --> 00:50:50,633 [song continues] 1059 00:50:50,634 --> 00:50:53,761 [Mae] ...and I think of each life as a flower, 1060 00:50:53,762 --> 00:50:55,931 as common as a field daisy, 1061 00:50:56,849 --> 00:50:58,851 and as singular. 1062 00:51:00,853 --> 00:51:04,648 And each name a comfortable music in the mouth... 1063 00:51:05,315 --> 00:51:06,691 What are you doing here? 1064 00:51:06,692 --> 00:51:08,985 Some of us actually work during the offseason. 1065 00:51:08,986 --> 00:51:10,404 Here, hold this. 1066 00:51:16,660 --> 00:51:20,372 [Mae] ...tending, as all music does... 1067 00:51:21,832 --> 00:51:24,167 - Hmm. - ...towards silence. 1068 00:51:24,168 --> 00:51:25,878 - You're a psychopath. - I know. 1069 00:51:26,587 --> 00:51:27,838 Have a nice break. 1070 00:51:30,048 --> 00:51:34,261 And each body a lion of courage... 1071 00:51:37,014 --> 00:51:39,725 and something precious to the earth. 1072 00:51:47,232 --> 00:51:48,859 [chair hisses] 1073 00:51:52,029 --> 00:51:53,363 - [Ted whistling] - Oh. 1074 00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:57,450 - Morning. - Morning. 1075 00:51:57,451 --> 00:52:00,620 [Mae] When it's over, I want to say: 1076 00:52:00,621 --> 00:52:05,625 all my life I was a bride married to amazement. 1077 00:52:05,626 --> 00:52:07,168 [typing] 1078 00:52:07,169 --> 00:52:08,378 This is for you. 1079 00:52:10,130 --> 00:52:11,881 Wasn't this my going-away gift? 1080 00:52:11,882 --> 00:52:13,050 It was. 1081 00:52:20,307 --> 00:52:21,350 Go ahead, open it. 1082 00:52:23,727 --> 00:52:25,019 Yeah. 1083 00:52:25,020 --> 00:52:27,313 [wrapping paper rustling] 1084 00:52:27,314 --> 00:52:33,153 [Mae] That I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. 1085 00:52:39,284 --> 00:52:40,410 Congrats. 1086 00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:44,664 [Chilton] Thanks. 1087 00:52:44,665 --> 00:52:46,791 - [Ted chuckles] - [Mae] When it's over, 1088 00:52:46,792 --> 00:52:50,920 I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular... 1089 00:52:50,921 --> 00:52:53,214 - Thank you. - Well done. 1090 00:52:53,215 --> 00:52:54,633 [Mae] ...and real. 1091 00:52:59,179 --> 00:53:00,388 Oh, did I miss it? 1092 00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:02,140 - Oh, my God. - [gasps] 1093 00:53:03,392 --> 00:53:04,393 Change is good. 1094 00:53:07,813 --> 00:53:09,188 All right. 1095 00:53:09,189 --> 00:53:11,190 Made copies. 1096 00:53:11,191 --> 00:53:13,359 - Here you go, Coach. - Oh, thank you, Coach. 1097 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,528 - What do you think, Coach? - I love it, Coach. 1098 00:53:15,529 --> 00:53:17,029 [Mae] When it's over... 1099 00:53:17,030 --> 00:53:18,865 Are you kidding me? [sighs] 1100 00:53:18,866 --> 00:53:21,868 [Mae] ...I don't want to find myself sighing. 1101 00:53:21,869 --> 00:53:22,994 Okay. 1102 00:53:22,995 --> 00:53:24,996 [chattering] 1103 00:53:24,997 --> 00:53:26,498 [Mae] And frightened... 1104 00:53:29,168 --> 00:53:32,296 or full of argument. 1105 00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:40,596 I don't want to end up simply having visited this world. 1106 00:53:44,683 --> 00:53:46,685 ["Enjoy Yourself (It's Later Than You Think)" playing]