1
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:05,003


2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,465


3
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:19,977
Hello, mon cher.

4
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,441
Coach! Over here.

5
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,150
Oh.

6
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,652
Thank God.

7
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,244
[SAM] Z-man, Dani.

8
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,873
[SPEAKING FRENCH]

9
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,541
- He looks like a beautiful angel-man.
- [SAM LAUGHS]

10
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,331
Good morning, sunshine.

11
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,749
You okay?

12
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,210
Oh, I didn't want to miss
the bus, so I just slept in here.

13
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,337
Sorry, I'm gonna vomit. Sorry.

14
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,419
[MUFFLED] Oh... Oh, my God.

15
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,765
[WHISPERS] Wait. What am I
doing? This is my fucking room.

16
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,347
Oi! Out.

17
00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:05,862
[SASSY] Hey, you.

18
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,775
Hey. Good morning.

19
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,610
I... I got you a coffee.

20
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,237
- Oh. Thank you.
- Yeah.

21
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,405
You been up long?

22
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,824
Um... hour or two.

23
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,156
You know? I guess three hours total.

24
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,620
Last night was fun.

25
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:24,541
Oh, yeah. Five stars. Certified fresh.

26
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,419
- Mm. Have you got to go?
- Uh, yeah.

27
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,005
But, you know, you don't
need to rush out or anything.

28
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,174
I got you a late checkout.

29
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:35,093
Oh. That's very thoughtful of you.

30
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,636
Go on then. You go.

31
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,013
I'm gonna go back to sleep,

32
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:41,975
and then I'm gonna order a
huge breakfast on your tab.

33
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,060
- That's a pro move right there. Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]

34
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,813
Hey, I'll be your Underhills
anytime. [CHUCKLES]

35
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:50,400
Okay. Well, um... I'll
see you around, I guess.

36
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,902
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

37
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,293
Mouad49

38
00:01:58,295 --> 00:02:01,295
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

39
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,650
[COACH BEARD] Coach.

40
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,362
Hey, Coach.

41
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,821
- Coach.
- Yeah?

42
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,907
- Something on your mind, Coach?
- No, why?

43
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,451
We just had a five-hour bus ride
where you didn't talk a lick,

44
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,463
and that's a record by about five hours.

45
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,291
[CLEARS THROAT]

46
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,252
Okay, look. I'm gonna tell you something

47
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,379
but then I don't wanna talk
about it ever again, okay?

48
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,047
- Okay.
- I'm serious.

49
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,549
I don't want to make jokes about it.

50
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:58,051
I don't want you giving
me any knowing glances.

51
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,136
- You know what I mean? Okay.
- Okay.

52
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,138
Um...

53
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,642
Last night, I, uh...

54
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,185
I slept with Rebecca's friend Sassy.

55
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,943
- Want to talk about it?
- I'd love to. Yeah. Immediately.

56
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,486
There you are.

57
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,738
I thought this room was haunted.

58
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,410
No. We sorted that.

59
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,868
Is now a good time?

60
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,161
Yeah. You can come in. She can't
hear anything with those in.

61
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,163
You sure?

62
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,629
Gail, you think the royal
family are lizards, right?

63
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,337
- [ROY GROANS]
- Twenty-three. So young.

64
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,755
What's she listening to?

65
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,467
Always murder podcasts.

66
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,887
Last night was crazy.

67
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,682
Right, yeah. It was pretty sloppy.

68
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,540
[EXHALES] I could really
use a bucket of coffee

69
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:50,024
to nurse this hangover.

70
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:55,025
Do you wanna go get one
with me when you're done?

71
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,777
Not today. I can't. I'm busy.

72
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,989
He's lying.

73
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,616
Right. I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave,

74
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,556
'cause she's about to go
to town on my hamstrings

75
00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:05,660
and I make a lot of noises,

76
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,495
and I don't like people
hearing my noises.

77
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,373
Cool. All right. I'll
see you around, yeah?

78
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,917
Okay.

79
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,585
[GRUNTS, WHINES]

80
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,837
'Cause, look, it's just not something
I've ever done before, okay?

81
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,985
And look, I got no judgment on people

82
00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:20,542
that have one-night stands, okay?

83
00:04:20,544 --> 00:04:23,517
I mean, if you are, you know,
nuts for butts, have at it.

84
00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:24,554
That's what I say.

85
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,764
Coach, did you have fun?

86
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,475
Oh, come on, Coach. I don't like
all that kiss-and-tell stuff.

87
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:31,017
Coach, did you have fun?

88
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,361
And did she have fun?

89
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:41,238
Mm. Yeah, that movement's,
uh, making me feel queasy.

90
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,031
- [GROANS]
- Okay. So, then what's the problem?

91
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,825
I mean, maybe I just haven't
really come to peace with the fact

92
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,350
that I went from having
a mental breakdown

93
00:04:48,352 --> 00:04:50,163
at a karaoke joint in Liverpool

94
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,624
to, uh, you know, sleeping
with a woman I just met.

95
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,168
And then somewhere in between
there, getting a divorce.

96
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,800
- Well, it makes sense to me.
- I must say that this is lovely.

97
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,714
Ever since I was little,

98
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,925
I always used to dream about
sitting down with a bunch of mates

99
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,167
talking about the complex dynamics
between men and women.

100
00:05:06,457 --> 00:05:09,099
Okay, here's another question for
y'all. Uh, should I tell Rebecca?

101
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:11,268
- [ALL] No.
- Oh, come on now. Why not?

102
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,499
I mean, it'd break my heart

103
00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:14,604
if I found out she was
hiding something from me.

104
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,816
- [GAGS]
- [GAGS]

105
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,894
What's happening? You having a meeting?

106
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,444
Yep. I'm having lady problems.

107
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,286
- I'd love to get your perspective on it.
- No.

108
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,032
Ted, can I be honest with you?

109
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,325
Come on, let it rip.

110
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:31,287
You seem intent on going 12
rounds with yourself. Why?

111
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,250
What did you do wrong?

112
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,094
He's right.

113
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,669
Time to get you some of these.

114
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,753
What, scissors?

115
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,505
Yeah. To cut yourself some slack.

116
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,759
Wow.

117
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,095
Y'all stuck the landing
on that. That was nice.

118
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,890
Tell you what, I gotta get you
all some satin jackets made,

119
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,957
with "Ted Lasso's
Personal Dilemma Squad"

120
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,560
embroidered on the back there.

121
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,645
That's a clunky name. There's
gotta be something better here.

122
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:59,649
Let me think. Oh, I know. How
about, uh, the "EQ Warriors"?

123
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,359
The "Knights of Support"?

124
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,696
Mm. Nah. Sounds like
a brand of jockstrap.

125
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,949
Um, the "Proud Boys"?

126
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,368
[VOMITS, GROANS]

127
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,830
What about the "Diamond Dogs"?

128
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,582
Attaboy, Nate. Diamond Dogs it is.

129
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,167
Whoo!

130
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,749
[HOWLS]

131
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,763
[KEELEY] Oh, come on, Roy.

132
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,177
[DOORBELL RINGS]

133
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,979
I thought you were supposed
to be in Manchester.

134
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,981
We played West Ham, so I'm in town.

135
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,735
Yeah. Come in. How you doing?

136
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,445
Uh, yeah, I'm good.

137
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,156
I had ten touches, I had
two completed dribbles,

138
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,075
and in the 89th minute they
let me take a free kick.

139
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,952
I scored. Got half a chub.

140
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:55,205
Ah. So you thought you'd bring your
half-chub over here then, right?

141
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,787
No. No, I just, uh, wanted to talk.

142
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,878
You know, everything happened
so fast when Lasso dumped me.

143
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,458
Oi. Come on. Lasso didn't dump
you. Man City wanted you back.

144
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:08,552
No, no. Lasso could have
stopped it, but he didn't. Yeah.

145
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,184
- Ah. Mm...
- [STAMMERS] Just let me finish, yeah?

146
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,933
I dated a lot of girls, right?

147
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,818
But you, you saw an even greater Jamie

148
00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:19,813
inside an already great Jamie.

149
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,356
[CHUCKLES]

150
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,608
You made me cultured.
Took me to plays and shit.

151
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,026
You hated all of that.

152
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,194
Yeah, 'cause it's confusing.

153
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,550
They do all these emotional things,

154
00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:29,406
make you feel all these emotional ways.

155
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,741
And then they get mad when
you start trying to shout out

156
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,451
and talk to them during a performance.

157
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,543
- [LAUGHS]
- It's weird.

158
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,750
You also taught me to try to
not get in me own way so much.

159
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,262
So... thank you for that.

160
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,513
You're welcome, Jamie.

161
00:07:51,897 --> 00:07:54,431
You know, this is the first time
you've been over to this house

162
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,516
and you haven't sent me
some, like, weird sex emoji.

163
00:07:56,518 --> 00:08:00,004
Like the eggplant
or the squirting water.

164
00:08:00,006 --> 00:08:01,146
Or the little squirrel.

165
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,273
The little squirrel. I
never understood that one.

166
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,317
Well, he's, uh, he's holding
a little nut, isn't he?

167
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,610
- Yeah.
- [CHUCKLING] Yeah.

168
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,782
He is. Yeah.

169
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,323
Right.

170
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,491
Do you wanna have a drink with me?

171
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,913
Eh... nah.

172
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,957
Unless by "drink" you mean...

173
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,835
[DOOR CLOSES]

174
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,707
So that's how you get sex?

175
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,840
By not trying for sex?

176
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:33,762
Sometimes that is exactly how it works.

177
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,306
Ah. I never knew that.

178
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,558
[KEELEY LAUGHS]

179
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,395
- Morning, boss.
- [CHUCKLES]

180
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,815
Now, you don't just get biscuits today.

181
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,652
I also got you a little
box of chocolate truffles.

182
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,789
- Oh, you fucker. Don't do this to me.
- [TED CHUCKLES]

183
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:53,417
What you should do is
take one of them truffles

184
00:08:53,419 --> 00:08:54,830
and smoosh it in between
the biscuits like

185
00:08:54,832 --> 00:08:56,326
it's a little breakfast sandwich...

186
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,286
Yeah, there you go. You got it.

187
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,080
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- [MOANS]

188
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,394
Yeah. And hey,

189
00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:04,751
I wanna thank you again for
being there for me up in Liverpool.

190
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,004
- Oh. It was nothing, Ted.
- No, no. It was something.

191
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,924
You got a coupon for life, young
lady. Yeah. I got your back.

192
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:14,302
Think of me as your own personal
metaphorical Saint Bernard.

193
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,972
You don't need to be dealing
with a metaphorical avalanche

194
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:20,308
to avail yourself to the metaphorical
bourbon hanging around my neck.

195
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,018
Metaphorically speaking. Okay?

196
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,103
All right now.

197
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,938
- Oh! Actually, Ted.
- Mm.

198
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,857
If you do want to be there for me,

199
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:30,193
I have a meeting later with
two minority owners of the club.

200
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,278
The Milk sisters.

201
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,488
The most horrible human cocktail

202
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:37,075
of being terribly dull and
yet, they never shut up.

203
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,159
Please join me.

204
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,411
Done and doner.

205
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:43,123
[EXHALES] Perfect. I can
just introduce you all,

206
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,917
leave you wittering on, and
slip out and do anything else.

207
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,127
How much of the club they own?

208
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,378
2.9%.

209
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,984
I'm gonna round that down to two.

210
00:09:49,986 --> 00:09:52,382
Then I can call those
gals the "2% Milks".

211
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,050
Oh, God. They're gonna adore you.

212
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,812
It's gonna be fun. All right.
I'll leave you be. See ya now.

213
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,600
In my experience, I've always
found that endorsements work best

214
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,101
if you really believe in the product.

215
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,958
So, I can find good
opportunities for you guys

216
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,606
if you let me know what you're into.

217
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,818
I love Air Jordans.

218
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,735
I'd fuck a pair of Jordans.

219
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,528
All right. So, athletic wear then, yeah?

220
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,614
I'm into issue-oriented products.

221
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,490
You know, pro-environment
or anti-pollution.

222
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,617
That kind of thing.

223
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,493
Oh, and also Air Jordans.

224
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,287
- But I don't want to sleep with them.
- [KEELEY] Mm-hmm.

225
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,830
Isaac, what about you?

226
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,208
Uh, Rolos.

227
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,628
So, sweets and chocolate then?

228
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,881
No. Just Rolos, yeah?

229
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,467
And none of that Sour
Patch bullshit either, yeah?

230
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,593
Okay.

231
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,135
Well, that's a great start
from you guys. Thank you.

232
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,350
[ISAAC] Hey, Captain.

233
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,311
What's all this?

234
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,230
Oh, Rebecca's letting me
use this room as my office

235
00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:49,656
until she sets me up
with somewhere proper.

236
00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,024
That's why I have this.

237
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,317
So if they need to use the room,

238
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,777
I can just shove everything into it.

239
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,446
Efficient. Do you want
to see a movie later?

240
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,474
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- What?

241
00:10:58,476 --> 00:11:00,784
I asked you if you wanted to
go get coffee with me yesterday

242
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,619
- and you said you were busy.
- I was busy.

243
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,121
- You never texted me back last night.
- Yeah. I was busy.

244
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,123
What about the kiss? You took
off like it was a shit kiss,

245
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,084
and it was not a shit
kiss. I was on fire.

246
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:11,962
- I agree.
- So what is your fucking problem, Roy?

247
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:14,381
Listen, I'm a professional footballer.

248
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,591
I have had a million one-night stands.

249
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,676
- So have I.
- Great.

250
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,594
- I don't know why we're bragging about it.
- Neither do I.

251
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,681
And they always feel empty.
Well, not the first part.

252
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,724
- No, at first they're wicked.
- They're fucking great.

253
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,102
- But when it's all done, I feel like...
- Like shit.

254
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:30,230
Exactly. And I always end up
with my watch being stolen

255
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,691
or a story in the press about
how my penis has a curve in it.

256
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,768
Does it actually?

257
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:35,986
No, I just make it feel
like it does with my hips.

258
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:38,778
Anyway, the point is, I'm
trying to do this differently.

259
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,534
I should have told
you that. I apologize.

260
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:49,291
And I am trying to be more honest.

261
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,293
Thank you.

262
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,094
Okay, then.

263
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,965
[SIGHS] I think you should
know that I slept with Jamie.

264
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,133
Yes, I am aware of that.

265
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,505
I mean last night.

266
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,971
I didn't think you were into me.

267
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,473
I didn't know what you wanted,
and I knew exactly what he wanted.

268
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,822
So you fucked him to get back at me

269
00:12:06,824 --> 00:12:08,226
for something I didn't even know I did.

270
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,563
[SCOFFS] No. I... No.

271
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,731
No.

272
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,316
Yes.

273
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,318
Yup. That's exactly what I did.

274
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,570
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

275
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,992
I fucked up, Roy. I'm really sorry.

276
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,159
But I need you to be okay with this.

277
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,411
[GRUNTS]

278
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,997
Um, well, why don't you just come
and tell me how you feel about it

279
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,679
once you've figured out
how to speak again?

280
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,133
[GRUNTS]

281
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,755
[DOOR SLAMS]

282
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,349
Hi, Roy.

283
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,140
[GRUNTS]

284
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,188
Something on your mind?

285
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,606
[GRUNTS]

286
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,359
Is that grunt all I get to go on?

287
00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,028
That's okay. I'll give it
a shot here. Uh, let's see.

288
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,950
You are thinking about
buying your first house.

289
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,283
No, not that. Okay.

290
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,578
You just realized your dad
might be a little racist.

291
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,206
Stop. He's in his 60s and
he's from South London.

292
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,624
Of course my dad's a little racist.

293
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,460
Look, me and Keeley might
be starting up a thing,

294
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,964
but every time I think about her,

295
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,800
all I think about is
Jamie fucking Tartt.

296
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,718
Ooh-whee!

297
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,794
Sounds to me like
someone's trapped inside

298
00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:27,681
life's most complicated shape.

299
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,765
A love triangle.

300
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:32,018
Second place of course is the "I
just walked in on my mother-in-law

301
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,187
changing into her
swimsuit" dodecahedron.

302
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,982
Does my face look like it's in
the mood for shape-based jokes?

303
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,984
No, Roy, it does not.

304
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,027
But, in my defense, it rarely does.

305
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,069
Oh. I know exactly
what to do here, though.

306
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,657
- What are you doing?
- Oh.

307
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,742
Don't you fret, my fine furry fella.

308
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:48,848
In a matter of minutes,

309
00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:51,788
your relationship dilemma
will be in the past.

310
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,666
For I am rounding up the Diamond Dogs.

311
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,376
Who the fuck are the Diamond Dogs?

312
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,753
It's just a group of
people who care, Roy.

313
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,568
Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert

314
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:01,965
whose hands are not in the air.

315
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,676
Okay, so this is about
you and Keeley, right?

316
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,888
- Saw this coming.
- Nothing like the early days of courtship.

317
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,681
Okay, this is my fucking nightmare.

318
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,601
I think the idea of you and Keeley
is like cookies and cream.

319
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,110
And I think we all agree,

320
00:14:14,112 --> 00:14:15,979
two great tastes that
go great together, right?

321
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,272
- [HIGGINS] Yeah.
- Perfect analogy.

322
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,108
Yes, I am into her. But we all
know who her ex-boyfriend is.

323
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,235
The prince prick of all pricks.

324
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,446
And I've got him stuck right in here.

325
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,906
I don't understand the problem.

326
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,657
I mean, Keeley's just so kind.

327
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,411
You know, to be liked by someone
like her must be... 's wonderful.

328
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,371
Mm. Shout out to the
Gershwin brothers right there.

329
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,789
[COACH BEARD] Fuck yeah, the Gershwins.

330
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,500
But dang it, fellas,
you're still not getting it!

331
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,542
Thank you.

332
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,505
Sure, Roy here has slept with a
bunch of different people in his past.

333
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,403
But Keeley's got her own romantic

334
00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:45,634
and sexual history that predates Roy.

335
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:46,966
And that's not okay!

336
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,304
Oh, he means the opposite.

337
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,765
I love it when Coach does sarcasm.

338
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,308
I can't control my feelings.

339
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,603
Well, then by all means you
should let them control you.

340
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,396
Ah! He's doing it again.

341
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,148
[CHUCKLES] Good eye.

342
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:03,068
Look, Roy, all this Chandler
Bing-ing aside, do me a favor.

343
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,445
Don't let her past muck around
with y'all's future, okay?

344
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,567
She slept with him last night.

345
00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:13,119
- I mean, are you two officially dating?
- No.

346
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,163
- Have you already slept together?
- No.

347
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,785
Coach, you wanna bring this home?

348
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,628
Grow up and get over it.

349
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,549
The Diamond Dogs have struck again.

350
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:28,221
[HOWLING, BARKING]

351
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,137
You're all pricks.

352
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,929
[HOWLING, BARKING]

353
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,936
All righty. See the
Milk sisters anywhere?

354
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,813
You want me to go skim
the back room? [CHUCKLES]

355
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,326
[SIGHS] Don't make me regret this, Ted.

356
00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:44,067
Oh, don't worry, don't worry. I'm
gonna be an udder gentleman, okay?

357
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,497
Hey, I wonder if they've
ever seen the movie, uh,

358
00:15:46,499 --> 00:15:48,530
Bridget Jones's Dairy.

359
00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,532
Sorry, that's not my breast
milk pun. I can do better.

360
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:53,118
Oh, my God, this was a horrible
idea. Seriously, please go home.

361
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,410
- Oh, come on. It's gonna be fun.
- Stop.

362
00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,746
There she is.

363
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:03,728
Rupert, what are you doing here?

364
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,964
We came to celebrate.

365
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,757
Uh, Rebecca, Rebecca. Rebecca, Rebecca.

366
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,634
It's nice to see you again.

367
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,928
- And this is Ted.
- Howdy.

368
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,847
Yeah. Uh, join us for a drink.

369
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:16,308
Here you go, Rupert. Anything else?

370
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,436
A couple more glasses for our
friends here. Thank you, Mae.

371
00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:21,250
You are as delicious as ever.

372
00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:23,481
From your West End to your Marble Arch.

373
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,066
Keep your Big Ben in your pants.

374
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,110
[LAUGHING]

375
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,154
[MAE CHUCKLES]

376
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,322
Thank you for your invitation,

377
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,199
but we're actually here to
meet with the Milk sisters.

378
00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:33,658
Oh, they won't be coming now.

379
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,410
Oh, no. Did they expire?

380
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,713
What?

381
00:16:36,715 --> 00:16:38,635
Um, so, yeah, I, um...

382
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:44,669
I know I'm not allowed an
ownership stake in the club,

383
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,067
but, um, they were nice enough

384
00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:49,132
to sell their minority
share to Bex here.

385
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,801
I always, uh, thought I'd finish
paying off my student loans

386
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:55,138
- before I purchased a football club.
- [RUPERT LAUGHS]

387
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,100
Obviously, she needed a little,

388
00:16:57,102 --> 00:16:58,975
um, financial aid from yours truly.

389
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:02,437
But, um, well, when we're married,
what's hers will be mine

390
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:03,793
and what's mine...

391
00:17:03,795 --> 00:17:07,651
well, that'll stay mine 'cause I've
learned from you. [CHUCKLES]

392
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,783
You're engaged?

393
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,155
[BOTH SQUEAL]

394
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,114
[KISSES]

395
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,908
Hey. Congratulations.

396
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,284
So you better join us for a drink.

397
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,913
Everyone! Drinks with us. It's on me.

398
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:21,789
[CHEERING]

399
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:25,501
Three lagers, please, Mae.
They're free. We want the boots.

400
00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:27,546
To Richmond!

401
00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:30,423
[CHANTING] Richmond!
Richmond! Richmond! Richmond!

402
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,385
Richmond! Richmond! Richmond!

403
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,575
Right. The... The product
you'd most like

404
00:17:35,577 --> 00:17:37,264
to get into business with is joy?

405
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,558
Sí. Mucho, mucho joy.

406
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,185
I don't know if I can get you
paid for that though, Dani.

407
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,688
I like to give away joy for free.

408
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,030
- Oh. All right, thanks, Dani.
- You're welcome.

409
00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:51,444
Hey. Football is life, Capitán.

410
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,529
Yup.

411
00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:54,241
[DANI SINGING IN SPANISH]

412
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,290
[CHUCKLES]

413
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,411
I'm done being mad about Jamie.

414
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,833
I'm a grown man. I'm not a baby child.

415
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,749
I'm over it.

416
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,381
Right. Would you mind saying
that to the rest of the room?

417
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,010
I mean, the press deserves to know.

418
00:18:17,848 --> 00:18:18,972
Mr. Kent!

419
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,734
- Yeah.
- Hi. Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman.

420
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:25,046
Would you please repeat
what you just said?

421
00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,840
I'm over it.

422
00:18:26,842 --> 00:18:29,142
Can I take you out tonight? Please?

423
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:35,913
Uh... yeah. You.

424
00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:39,409
Keeley Jones, The Independent
Woman Online Edition.

425
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,961
So, why should I trust
this sudden change of heart?

426
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,292
'Cause I like you more than I hate him.

427
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,878
I mean, barely. It's very close.

428
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,507
Yeah. Woman with the hair.

429
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,550
Keeley Jones, The
Independent Woman Magazine.

430
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:58,345
Where would you take
me if I did say yes?

431
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,598
- I don't know. Coffee?
- [SCOFFS] Can't do any better?

432
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,730
- Dinner.
- Yeah, that sounds great.

433
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:11,034
Yeah, woman with the fucking eyes.

434
00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:14,110
Keeley Jones, The Independent
Woman insert on Sunday.

435
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,029
Could you please elaborate
on the hip movement

436
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:18,490
that makes your penis feel
like it has a curve in it?

437
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,872
Right, no more questions.
We'll see you on the pitch.

438
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,287
[CHUCKLES]

439
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,914
To Rupert!

440
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,666
[CHEERING]

441
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,710
Friends, Richmonds, countrymen.

442
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,922
Our club's nightmare
is over now. I'm back.

443
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,967
Thank God. 'Cause Ted Lasso sucks.

444
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:39,010
- No offense, Ted.
- Oh, all good, Baz.

445
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,054
You, Jeremy, and Paul have
been refreshingly candid

446
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:42,389
about y'all's feelings.

447
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,432
Pretty cool Premier League
gaffer knows our names.

448
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,184
- I know, right?
- Shut up, you twats.

449
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,520
I'm trying again. No help.

450
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:50,438
Right. So, if she hits the board,

451
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,580
I want it to sound like
we just won the FA Cup.

452
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,700
[CHEERING]

453
00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,907
You wanna leave?

454
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:03,285
I don't wanna give him the satisfaction.

455
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:06,913
[RUPERT] So, Rebecca, it's
time to be friends again.

456
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:11,251
Especially since Bex and I
are gonna be sitting with you

457
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,712
every week in that owner's box.

458
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:14,963
I'm not going every week.

459
00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:16,506
[RUPERT] Well, I am.

460
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:21,428
And, um, every week, when
they shove a camera in my face

461
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,310
and ask me how I think
you're doing, I will tell them.

462
00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:28,903
It'll be relentless.

463
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,105
Mm.

464
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:36,067
So, Rupert, y'all take your darts
over here pretty seriously, huh?

465
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,987
This and, uh, what's the
billiard game y'all do

466
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,489
that sounds like a brand of cookies?

467
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,366
- Snooker?
- That's it. That's the one, yup.

468
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,870
Boy, I'd love to curl up on a
couch under a weighted blanket,

469
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:49,789
watch You've Got Mail and
devour a box of Snookers.

470
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,833
[TED CHUCKLES]

471
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,835
See what we got here.

472
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,629
Hey! There it is.

473
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,924
- Do you like darts, Ted?
- Oh, they're okay.

474
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,886
I'm more of a, you know,
cornhole man myself. Yeah.

475
00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:04,262
- Oh.
- Huh.

476
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,347
How about a game?

477
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:09,643
We could, you know, maybe
wager, say, £10,000?

478
00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:11,311
[PATRONS] Oh!

479
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,541
Well, as my doctor told me

480
00:21:12,543 --> 00:21:14,731
when I got addicted
to fettuccine Alfredo,

481
00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:17,234
that's a little rich for
my blood. [CHUCKLES]

482
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,277
Uh, how about this? If you win,

483
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:20,674
I'll let you pick the starting lineup

484
00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:22,364
of the last two games of the season.

485
00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:25,492
But if I win, you can't go
anywhere near the owner's box,

486
00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:27,118
at least not while
Rebecca's still in charge.

487
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,287
- Ted.
- Mm?

488
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,497
What the hell are you doing?

489
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,249
I believe some folks
call it white knighting,

490
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,682
but I'm just following my gut here.

491
00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:35,585
- It's okay.
- No. Ted.

492
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,546
- What do you think?
- You're on.

493
00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:39,881
- Okay.
- Uh, double in, double out.

494
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:41,800
Whatever you say, Rupe-a-dupes. Yeah.

495
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:44,636
Just let me know if I'm
winning or losing, all right?

496
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,638
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, I forgot I had these on me.

497
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,223
[PATRONS GASPING]

498
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:50,385
Mm. Yeah. Oh, wait a second.

499
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:52,935
I forgot I'm left-handed.

500
00:21:54,073 --> 00:21:55,438
- [GASPS, CHUCKLES]
- [PATRONS] Oh!

501
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,980
Oh, this is gonna be a hoot.

502
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:02,028
- So where are we going for dinner?
- It's a surprise.

503
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,030
Cool.

504
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,617
I need to ask you something.

505
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:09,352
So, the other day when you said

506
00:22:09,354 --> 00:22:11,371
you were too busy to text me back...

507
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,914
Yeah, 'cause I was busy.

508
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,958
But you never told me what
you were too busy with.

509
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,420
Yeah, 'cause it was private.

510
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,514
Are you dating other people?

511
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,360
It's okay if you are.

512
00:22:21,362 --> 00:22:23,441
It's just that I wanna know
so that I don't look stupid.

513
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,135
It was yoga, okay?

514
00:22:25,137 --> 00:22:27,345
I do yoga with a group
of women in their 60s.

515
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,722
They have no idea who I am,

516
00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:30,807
it's twice a week and it's
really good for my core.

517
00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:31,991
Normally only takes an hour,

518
00:22:31,993 --> 00:22:33,393
but Maureen's been
going through a divorce

519
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,395
and she needed to talk about
it and blow off some steam.

520
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,355
We all ended up at G-A-Y till 2:00 a.m.

521
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,817
and then we had crepes in
Balham with some drag queens.

522
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:44,196
Like I said, it's private.

523
00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:45,614
I'm gonna kiss you now.

524
00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:47,734
Unless it's gonna make
you run away again.

525
00:22:47,736 --> 00:22:49,388
I know that you wanna take this slow

526
00:22:49,390 --> 00:22:52,579
and I really do respect that, but it...

527
00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:55,087
Maybe I could just touch
your arse a little bit

528
00:22:55,089 --> 00:22:56,581
or you could touch mine...

529
00:23:02,341 --> 00:23:04,891
[SHUTTER CLICKING]

530
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,678
- Where's your manners?
- [GRUNTS]

531
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,600
You're supposed to ask
before you take something.

532
00:23:11,517 --> 00:23:13,767
For example, may I take this?

533
00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:15,519
- No.
- Well, I'm fucking taking it.

534
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,571
Here. It's pictures of our first date.

535
00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:21,318
Come on. I'm cooking for you.

536
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:25,237
[CHEERING]

537
00:23:25,239 --> 00:23:27,489
[MAE] One hundred and eighty!

538
00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:28,949
Well in, Rupert. Get in!

539
00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:31,451
Shut your stupid little twat
mouth or I will shut it for you.

540
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:35,413
Shall I be giving you
the lineup card now, Ted?

541
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:39,459
I shall be putting Obisanya back
on defense where he belongs.

542
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,404
That's exactly what I said, didn't I?

543
00:23:41,406 --> 00:23:43,490
Now, now, it's not all Ted's fault.

544
00:23:43,492 --> 00:23:47,551
My ex-wife's the one who brought
the hillbilly to our shores.

545
00:23:47,553 --> 00:23:49,261
I know she's always been a bit randy,

546
00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:52,556
but I never thought she would
fuck over an entire team.

547
00:23:52,558 --> 00:23:54,308
- [PATRONS GASPING]
- Hey!

548
00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,769
Better manners when I'm holding a dart.

549
00:23:57,771 --> 00:23:58,861
Please.

550
00:23:59,991 --> 00:24:00,991
Hmm.

551
00:24:03,277 --> 00:24:05,360
Mae. What do I need to win?

552
00:24:05,362 --> 00:24:07,452
Two triple 20s and a bull's-eye.

553
00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:11,074
[CHUCKLES] Good luck.

554
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,076
Mm.

555
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:17,697
You know, Rupert, guys have
underestimated me my entire life.

556
00:24:17,699 --> 00:24:19,311
And for years, I never understood why.

557
00:24:19,313 --> 00:24:20,834
It used to really bother me.

558
00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,587
But then one day, I was
driving my little boy to school

559
00:24:23,589 --> 00:24:25,818
and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman

560
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:27,174
and it was painted on the wall there.

561
00:24:27,176 --> 00:24:30,216
It said, "Be curious, not judgmental".

562
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:32,310
I like that.

563
00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,100
[PATRONS CHEER]

564
00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:38,685
So I get back in my car
and I'm driving to work,

565
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,812
and all of a sudden it hits me.

566
00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:43,085
All them fellas that
used to belittle me,

567
00:24:43,087 --> 00:24:46,334
not a single one of them were curious.

568
00:24:46,336 --> 00:24:48,695
You know, they thought they
had everything all figured out.

569
00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:52,197
So they judged everything,
and they judged everyone.

570
00:24:53,368 --> 00:24:55,908
And I realized that their
underestimating me...

571
00:24:56,872 --> 00:24:59,831
[EXHALES] who I was
had nothing to do with it.

572
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:00,833
[CHUCKLES]

573
00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:05,170
'Cause if they were curious,
they would've asked questions.

574
00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:06,463
You know?

575
00:25:06,465 --> 00:25:09,885
Questions like, "Have you
played a lot of darts, Ted?"

576
00:25:10,928 --> 00:25:13,258
[PATRONS SHOUTING]

577
00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:17,426
To which I would've answered, "Yes, sir.

578
00:25:18,227 --> 00:25:20,727
Every Sunday afternoon at
a sports bar with my father,

579
00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:23,649
from age ten till I was 16,
when he passed away".

580
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:31,530
Barbecue sauce.

581
00:25:31,532 --> 00:25:34,032
[CHEERING]

582
00:25:37,788 --> 00:25:39,998
- Good game, Rupert.
- Come on, let's go.

583
00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:44,751
You are a very lovely consolation prize.

584
00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:47,671
Rebecca, Ted, enjoy your evening.

585
00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:49,589
Mae, as always.

586
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,342
- Holy shit, that felt good.
- [TAPS BAR TOP]

587
00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:54,219
- That was fun. Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]

588
00:25:54,221 --> 00:25:56,521
- Only one thing left to do now.
- What's that?

589
00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,187
Do I have to?

590
00:26:01,311 --> 00:26:02,311
[SIGHS]

591
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,105
- Drinks are on me!
- [POUNDS BAR TOP]

592
00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:07,147
- [CHEERING]
- [BELL CLANGING]

593
00:26:08,819 --> 00:26:10,449
[SHOUTING]

594
00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,119
[BLOWS WHISTLE]

595
00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:21,913
Fellas, I could watch you do this
jaunty North Korean military thing

596
00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:23,832
you do all day, but I need a favor.

597
00:26:23,834 --> 00:26:25,208
We'll die for you, Coach!

598
00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:27,544
That's a little dramatic, Sam,
but I see how you got there

599
00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:29,004
with me invoking the military and all.

600
00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:30,255
Now here's what we're gonna do.

601
00:26:30,257 --> 00:26:32,177
How many of you fellas
ever seen Sesame Street?

602
00:26:35,971 --> 00:26:37,053
[DOOR OPENS]

603
00:26:37,055 --> 00:26:40,390
- Good morning, Higgins.
- Ah. Good morning. One sec.

604
00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:41,641
Yeah, that's good. Straighten up.

605
00:26:41,643 --> 00:26:43,268
- All right.
- [HIGGINS WHISTLING]

606
00:26:43,270 --> 00:26:45,645
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on
one sec. Let me get in my spot.

607
00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:47,517
Okay. Here it comes,
here it comes. Let's go.

608
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,613
Hi, Ted.

609
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:55,655
Can't hear you!

610
00:26:57,492 --> 00:26:59,284
[SHOUTING] Hi!

611
00:26:59,286 --> 00:27:01,119
- [TED] Yeah! Yeah!
- [PLAYERS CHEERING]

612
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,787
We felt it, she felt it!

613
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,373
That's what I'm talking
about. Yeah! Yeah!

614
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:08,165
- [CHUCKLES]
- [TED] Whoo! Got up too fast.

615
00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,996
Ted embarrassed the hell
out of Rupert yesterday.

616
00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:13,708
Oh. That's good.

617
00:27:14,856 --> 00:27:16,009
Uh, bit of bad news.

618
00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:18,240
Uh, we have ten thousand

619
00:27:18,242 --> 00:27:21,097
unsold seats for the
final match of the season.

620
00:27:21,099 --> 00:27:22,479
Release them to the visitors.

621
00:27:23,644 --> 00:27:26,937
But Rebecca, Man City
will snap those up.

622
00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:30,190
Our home stadium will
be a sea of sky blue.

623
00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:32,442
[CHUCKLES] That'll kill Rupert.

624
00:27:32,444 --> 00:27:34,256
[STAMMERS] It'll hurt our chances.

625
00:27:34,258 --> 00:27:36,363
We're on the brink of relegation.

626
00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:37,775
Just do it, Higgins.

627
00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:42,035
Oh, you know, fuck off!

628
00:27:42,037 --> 00:27:43,286
Excuse me?

629
00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:44,538
I'm sick of it.

630
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:50,001
You won't take away your pain
by constantly punishing Rupert.

631
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,295
Where were these morals when
you were having lunches with me

632
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,037
so Rupert could have sex in our house?

633
00:27:55,217 --> 00:27:56,677
I thought we were friends.

634
00:27:57,636 --> 00:28:01,555
You had every opportunity to do
the right thing and you never did.

635
00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:02,927
Fucking pussy.

636
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:08,019
You're right. I... I deserve to
carry that around. Um, I do.

637
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:13,525
I should've been braver, and
I'm... I'm sorry for that. I am.

638
00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:17,320
But I'm saying this to you now. Stop it.

639
00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:18,622
Or what?

640
00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:20,741
I quit.

641
00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:24,202
Oh, I know how this goes.

642
00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:27,163
You'll come back, grovel for
your job, and I'll take you back,

643
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:30,085
but I will make your life
just that little bit worse.

644
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:34,972
[DOOR CLOSES]

645
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:37,132
[SIGHS]

646
00:28:37,134 --> 00:28:38,434
[KNOCKING]

647
00:28:40,179 --> 00:28:41,429
[EXHALES] Hi.

648
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,974
You arranged for the
photographer to take this.

649
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:48,602
Roy and I found it on a
paparazzi camera card.

650
00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:50,520
He said you hired him.

651
00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:53,192
Don't deny it or pretend
that you don't know.

652
00:28:54,933 --> 00:28:57,303
Either you come clean to
Ted or I'll do it for you.

653
00:28:59,448 --> 00:29:02,658
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

654
00:29:17,758 --> 00:29:19,758
[SONG CONTINUES]