1 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,637 [Nathan whistles] 2 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,807 Right. 3 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,446 Who the hell are you? 4 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,573 Oh, hi! Hello. I'm... I'm Will. I'm the new clubhouse attendant. 5 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,826 No, you're not. I'm the clubhouse attendant. 6 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,328 Hey, Higgins, where are you? 7 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,555 Ted, what the fuck's going on? 8 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,265 I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out myself. 9 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,392 - Figure what out? Have I been sacked? - Has he been fired? 10 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,936 I don't know anything about this, Ted. 11 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,062 - There you are. - There you are. 12 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,939 - Is this because I called Isaac a pussy? - I don't know... 13 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:46,964 Good morning, everyone. 14 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,550 You shrew. You did this, didn't you? 15 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,051 Why so hostile, Nathan? 16 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,386 Right, I'll tell you why... 17 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:53,929 You know my name? 18 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,557 Well, I had to spell it correctly for your contract. 19 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,893 Nate-dawg, you haven't been fired. It's worse. 20 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,145 You've been promoted. 21 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,022 [laughter, cheering] 22 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,324 [players chanting] Nate! Nate! Nate! 23 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:21,790 [vocalizing] 24 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,002 - [players] Ooh. - [Nathan sighs] 25 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,174 Nathan Shelley, I present to you this whistle. 26 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,259 But it is sad. Do you know why? 27 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,845 - No. - Because it has never been blown. 28 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,555 Is that the same reason why Colin's sad? 29 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,807 [players laugh] 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,895 By the power vested in me by the Associative Football Club of Richmond, 31 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,814 I now pronounce you Coach Nate. 32 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,168 - [cheering] - Thanks a lot. Thank you. 33 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,171 - [whistle blows] - [Coach Beard] No, no! Not inside. 34 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,196 [Nathan] Sorry. Sorry. 35 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,531 [theme music plays] 36 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,654 It got confusing, 'cause they don't call it jock itch here. 37 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,158 So you didn't know what spray to buy? 38 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,640 - Yeah. - Yeah. What'd you go with? 39 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,724 Mr Muscle. 40 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,100 [Ted] Huh. 41 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,310 Hey, Roy. 42 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:27,314 Not sure if you know this, but the rules say you gotta pick a new captain. 43 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,398 Oh. 44 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,236 No, sir. You're my captain. That's the rule. 45 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:36,240 No. The, uh, captain has to be on the pitch. That's the rule. 46 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,244 I say that the current captain has to pick the new captain. 47 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,828 That's my new rule. 48 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,205 Don't want to. 49 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,289 Well, you have to. 50 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,918 - [Roy] I decline. - I insist. 51 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,586 Can't make me. 52 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:53,757 Roy Kent, until you choose your successor, 53 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:58,262 your duties as captain of this squad remain unfulfilled. 54 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,140 This is why it's hard to love you. 55 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,226 Oh. 56 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,936 You heard it, right? 57 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,813 He loves you. 58 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,065 All right, gang. Here's the unskinny bop. 59 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,402 Manchester City is coming into our house for the final match, 60 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,238 but preparation-wise, we gonna treat it like it's any other game. 61 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,949 But it's not just any other game. We could get relegated. 62 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,994 We got relegated when I was at Cardiff. It's my family's team. 63 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,787 My nana never spoke to me after that. 64 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,598 She just left me a box of her shit in her will. 65 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,791 Yeah, and when clubs go down, teams get broken up. 66 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,252 Coach, do they not have relegation in America? 67 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,670 Oh, no, no, no. [chuckles] 68 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,940 So what happens to all the shit teams at the end of the season? 69 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,591 They play out the rest of the schedule, 70 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,759 going through the motions in meaningless games 71 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,887 contested in lifeless, half-empty stadiums, 72 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,650 and everyone's pretty much fine with that. 73 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,057 - That sound about right, Coach? - Yeah, it's dumb. 74 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,828 - All right. Now, Coach Nate... - [whistle blows] 75 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,020 No, no, no. 76 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,581 - Not... No, not here. - [Coach Beard] Not inside. 77 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:52,149 I was saying, now Coach Nate has a video he wants to show. 78 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,442 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 79 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:59,031 Okay. [clears throat] So, um, I thought you'd all find this, uh, motivational. 80 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,574 All right. 81 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,950 [clears throat] 82 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,035 [Dani] Amigo Jamie. 83 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,370 - Clearly no barbers in Manchester. - [players laugh] 84 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,790 Well, I'd never say a bad word about me old club... 85 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,918 [players murmuring] 86 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,979 even though I did carry them through every match. 87 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,546 But they're good lads. 88 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,464 Apart from Roy Kent. He is a knob. 89 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,011 You know, and it's nice to have a real manager like Pep, 90 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,804 instead of that American rodeo clown. 91 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,850 You know, Lasso sent me away, now they're facing the drop. 92 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,269 Sunday, I get to put the final nail in the ashes. 93 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,271 Instant karma, it's gonna get ya. 94 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,732 [players gasp] 95 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,442 Oops, innit? 96 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,401 Well said. 97 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,285 [Ted] All right, let's go climb that mountain! 98 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,281 Okay, so if the Premier League is the best, 99 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,534 then what's the league called right below it? 100 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,118 The Championship. 101 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:48,413 Now, hold on one second. So if you come in last place in the Premier League, 102 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,082 you get to play in the Championship? 103 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,376 - They also invented irony. - [exhales] 104 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,837 Man, this town has got a weird way with words, don't it? 105 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,756 I mean, come on, y'all. It's 2020. Let's just call 'em cigarettes. 106 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,842 - Oh, God, yeah. - You know what I mean? 107 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,760 Hey. How you doing, fellas? 108 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,638 We, uh, just wanted to say thanks. 109 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,139 Yeah, we know you did your best. 110 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,058 Even though your best is still shit. 111 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,060 - Baz. - Oh, come on, now. 112 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,479 You're acting like we lost the game already, yeah? 113 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,189 Why don't you have a little hope? 114 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:15,816 [laughing] 115 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:19,361 Aw, Ted. Haven't you lived here long enough to realize? 116 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,530 It's the hope that kills you. 117 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,995 Why don't you text Nate? We got a little work to do tonight, huh? 118 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:33,750 Okay, come on. We got this. Look, we win, we're in, okay? 119 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,837 There is a scenario where Crystal Palace beat Norwich by six goals, 120 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,672 and we avoid relegation with just a tie. 121 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,841 No, no, no. Nope. Sorry. Uh-uh. 122 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,217 No. I hate ties, Nate. 123 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,654 How many times I gotta tell you that? They ain't natural, all right? 124 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,930 If God wanted games to end in a tie, 125 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,814 she wouldn't have invented numbers, all right? 126 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,893 Come on, guys. Let's fire up. Let's go. [stammers] 127 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,830 For the love of Meghan Markle, do not blow that whistle again, Nate. I swear. 128 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,206 - Sorry. - I got neighbors upstairs, 129 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,774 and they will just start stomping away. Okay? 130 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,235 Come on. Tell me how we beat Manchester City. 131 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,404 - We cannot beat Manchester City. - Dang it, Nate! 132 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,175 That is not what I want to hear from my assistant coach on his first day. 133 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,366 It is hopeless. 134 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,495 Oh, I'm sorry. It's hopeless? 135 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955 - Yeah. - Yeah? 136 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,836 [footsteps running upstairs] 137 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,090 [items shuffle, clatter] 138 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:26,178 Quick question. Are those the only clothes you own? 139 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,096 This? No, I got three of these. 140 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:36,939 That ring a bell, Nate? That ring a very large bell in your head? 141 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,565 You had that hanging in your home? 142 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:41,294 I got a ton of these hanging up in here. This one's from the bathroom mirror. 143 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,172 It's the first thing I see every morning, and it's the last thing I see at night 144 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,916 when I rationalize being too tired to floss. 145 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,368 Belief can't score goals, Coach. 146 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,036 Well, hello, Nelson. 147 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,288 Let me introduce you to another Nelson right here. 148 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:57,417 I think you two will hit it off just fine, 'cause you're both so damn pessimistic! 149 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,086 [thumps] 150 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,587 Sorry, Ms. Shipley! 151 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:04,091 I believe the gentleman is suggesting that we are a pair of Negative Nellies. 152 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,551 Oh, right. 153 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,261 Jackpot. 154 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,762 [knocking] 155 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,265 Morning, boss. Here you are. 156 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,353 Oh. Ted. I sense you're carrying around something today besides biscuits. 157 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,021 Good eye, small fry. 158 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:19,773 [Ted exhales] 159 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:21,692 [grunts] 160 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,569 I hate to say it, Rebecca, 161 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:27,072 but I think your football club might have been better off with a soccer coach. 162 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,282 Where's this coming from? 163 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,492 Look, if we do end up losing on Sunday, 164 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,513 you just go ahead and do whatever you think is best for the future of this club, 165 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,538 you understand? 166 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,916 Even if that means this guy's gotta go... [imitates slicing sound] 167 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,253 You know, you put that thing, and just... You know, whatever you got. 168 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,106 Whatever you wanna do. I mean, don't really murder me, 169 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,900 but, you know, just... [imitates gunshot] All that. You get what I'm getting at? 170 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,652 - Fire me. You get the gist. Yeah. - [Rebecca] Okay. Okay. 171 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,928 So you think you're not a "proper" football manager. 172 00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,973 Someone who's never played the game before, or knows the rules. 173 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,017 No, I don't know jack diddly about any of it. 174 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,145 But who cares? There's a great saying in Dutch football. 175 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,479 Oh, I don't speak Dutch. 176 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,457 That's why I was going to tell you in English. 177 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,774 Perfect. Lay it on me. 178 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,611 "Every disadvantage has its advantage." 179 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,112 Ooh, I like that. 180 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,822 Sure, you don't know what you're doing, 181 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,217 but doesn't that mean that you see the game in a different way 182 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,993 than any other football manager? 183 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:17,873 And shouldn't that empower you to cause complete and utter confusion? 184 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,252 Cause confusion or create chaos. 185 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,380 Yep. Yes, it is. Thanks, boss. 186 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,966 Whoo-hoo! [grunts] 187 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:30,928 I'm fine. 188 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,095 Oh, my God. 189 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,597 The chaos has already begun. Whoo! 190 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,893 All right, gentlemen. School is in session. 191 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,104 And today's lesson is "trick plays." 192 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,874 At least, that's what we call 'em back home. 193 00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,001 - What do they call 'em here again? - Elaborate set pieces. 194 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,378 Yeah, we gonna stick with "trick plays." That's a lot more fun. 195 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,196 Now, the idea behind every trick play 196 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:54,535 is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. 197 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,204 Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii. 198 00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,874 So, I want y'all to think about every single trick play you have ever run 199 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,252 your entire time playing this sport. Anybody got one? 200 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,336 Yeah, Dani, what you got? 201 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,880 When I played for Tigres, we had a great set piece. 202 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,465 - Did it have a name? - "The Sandman." 203 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,635 - Yeah. Now we're cooking. "The Sandman." - [players cheer] 204 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,446 We're gonna learn that play today. Who else got one? 205 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,989 - "Pepper Shakers." - "Pepper Shakers"? 206 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,348 Yeah, plural. Gotta be two. 207 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,558 "Beckham's Todger." 208 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,393 Beckham, I know. Todger, I don't know. 209 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,061 - It's dirty. - Okay. 210 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,229 "Midnight Poutine." 211 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,032 - Poutine? - [Coach Beard] That's not dirty. 212 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,774 It's just super Canadian. 213 00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,961 - "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." - Oh, with Dick Van Dyke. 214 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,738 The owner of one of the most authentic English accents in the history of cinema. 215 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,132 - What do you got? - "The Broken Tap." 216 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,260 All right. That's not a complaint, that's an actual play name? 217 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,411 Think Man City will leak a lot of goals from it. 218 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,204 [players] Whoa! 219 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,497 Oh. Nice. Yeah? 220 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,833 - "Loki's Toboggan." - "The Upside-Down Taxi." 221 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,085 - "Hadrian's Wall." - "Dirty Martini." 222 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,005 Oh, I'd love to run that play three times right now. I love it. 223 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,965 Do me a favor and toss "Lasso Special" up there 224 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,216 just for the heck of it too. 225 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,885 All right, guys. Tell you right now, 226 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,989 we're gonna go out there, and we're gonna learn a bunch of these plays, you hear? 227 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:59,850 Come Sunday, we're gonna hit Man City with the chaos hammer! 228 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,977 - [players] Yeah! - Let's go! 229 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,813 [cheering] 230 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567 No. Sam, not wax. 231 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,653 - Ah, okay. - Pomade. Pomade. 232 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,449 Yo, Jamie Tartt. It's you, yeah? 233 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,243 Let me get an ussie. 234 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,494 A what? 235 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,206 - [camera clicking rapidly] - Oh. 236 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,666 Wicked. 237 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,793 I can't believe you got dumped by Richmond. 238 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,337 Super embarrassing for you, yeah? 239 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,131 Eh, well, I got fucked by Lasso. So... 240 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,800 He likes you now though. He talked about you on telly, didn't he? 241 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,762 What are you on about, you posh twat? 242 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,682 Trent Crimm, The Independent. Any bad blood between you and Jamie Tartt? 243 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,143 [Ted] Jamie? No. That's a special young man right there. 244 00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:45,020 Got talent for days, works hard, 245 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,523 and he's got a jawline like the White Cliffs of Dover. 246 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,941 I'm always rootin' for him. 247 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,859 - What? - Classic mind games, innit? 248 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,737 Right. You can fuck off. 249 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,239 Whoa! 250 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,580 [doorbell rings] 251 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,585 You're fucking joking. 252 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,633 Oh, yeah, Roy, Jamie's coming over. 253 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,177 Oh, is he? Shall I make scones? 254 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,345 I don't like scones. 255 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,138 I'm not making scones, you idiot. 256 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,099 Good, 'cause I don't even like 'em. 257 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,102 What's that? 258 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,395 I made you coffee. 259 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,772 Well, then, what's this? 260 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,982 I brought you coffee. 261 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,525 Oh. 262 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,199 All right, Jamie, what was it that you wanted to talk about? 263 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,493 Not gonna say it in front of this dry old shit. 264 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,912 Why? He won't say anything. Will you? 265 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,374 Missed. 266 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,794 Ted Lasso is trying to play fucking mind games with me. 267 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,630 Saying nice shit about me on the telly. Trying to get in my head. 268 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,049 - He does like you. - You're as full of shit as he is. 269 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,177 Oi. Mind your fucking manners. 270 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,386 All right, RoboCop. 271 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,723 Jamie, not everyone in your life is out to get you. 272 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,308 I am. 273 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,644 What? Thought you respected honesty. 274 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,896 I do. 275 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,649 Oh, that is disgusting. 276 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:16,528 Look, Keeley. When you're done feeding mushy peas to this old fart, 277 00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,821 then you give me a call. 278 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,742 Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Enjoy the view from the bench. 279 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,287 [footsteps departing] 280 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,290 What? 281 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,459 Well, now I want mushy peas. 282 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,169 [laughs] 283 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,297 [Henry] Dad, when I see you coach soccer on TV, 284 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,217 it doesn't look like you're doing anything. 285 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,970 [chuckles] Well, it's 'cause I'm not. All right? 286 00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:44,264 It ain't like being a football coach back home, kiddo. 287 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,892 I got a lot less control, 'cause once the game gets going, 288 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,519 I can't tell my fellas what to do. 289 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,872 So I just gotta hope that everything I've been trying to teach 'em 290 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,356 made some sort of impact on 'em, 291 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,609 and that they'll make the right decisions when they're out there on their own. 292 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,028 You know, it's kind of like being a dad, I guess, huh? 293 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,324 How much did you get of that before you checked out? 294 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,785 - I drew a robot. - That's cool, bud. 295 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,580 [Arlo] The Richmond faithful gather on a crucial night. 296 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,959 Win and they stay up. Lose and they go down. 297 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,170 They come here full of hope, but as they know all too well, 298 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,898 - it's the hope that kills you. - [horns honking] 299 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:17,923 Oh, this sport. 300 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,592 I'd forgotten how stressful it is when you actually give a shit. 301 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,637 - I have a confession to make. - Ooh. 302 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,223 I've never really cared about football. 303 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,810 I know. I know it sounds insane, but I know how to act at a match. 304 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,895 "Referee!" 305 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,398 "Offside, you turnip!" 306 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,525 - God, you're awful. - You believed me. 307 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,195 It's just that my heart has never really been in it, you know? 308 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,031 But today... 309 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,578 today, I care very much. 310 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,834 Arlo White here, with former England international, Chris Powell, 311 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,670 live from the Dogtrack, Nelson Road Stadium, 312 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,463 the home of AFC Richmond, 313 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,799 who tonight host the mighty Manchester City. 314 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,363 [Bex] Yoo-hoo! You like my new shirt? 315 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,511 Well, look at you. 316 00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,722 [Arlo] It's David meets Goliath. 317 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,558 [Chris] If David forgot to put his stone in his slingshot, Arlo. 318 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:10,642 These are on me. 319 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,102 Thanks, Mae. 320 00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,104 - Good luck group hug? - No. 321 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,983 - Richmond. - [all] Richmond. 322 00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,945 Okay, here we are. Family Higgins. 323 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:27,326 This is Terry, Kris, Dana, Stevie. 324 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,579 How many kids do you have, Higgins? Jesus Christ. 325 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,831 And this is our eldest, Lindsay. 326 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:33,916 Good evening. 327 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,709 Forgive me, Father. 328 00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,712 Don't worry. He's a cool priest. 329 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,440 When your parents have you out of wedlock, 330 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:43,425 it allows you space to explore life's little gray areas. 331 00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,594 - Come on, Richmond! - Come on! 332 00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:48,680 [Arlo] With the Richmond fans in full voice, Chris, 333 00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:52,559 how do the players in the locker room feel to be on the brink of relegation? 334 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,437 [Chris] It's a tremendous amount of pressure, Arlo. 335 00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:59,149 To get the result they need, it will have to start with veteran leadership. 336 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,317 [clears throat] 337 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,737 Isaac. 338 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,572 Yeah? 339 00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,578 Never stop breaking TVs. 340 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,836 [players chattering] 341 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:28,178 [Ted] All right, now, fellas. Hey, let's focus up, huh? 342 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:37,604 So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got over here that I ain't too crazy about. 343 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,691 "It's the hope that kills you." 344 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:43,694 Y'all know that? 345 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,698 I disagree, you know? 346 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,493 I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. 347 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,663 See, I believe in hope. 348 00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,457 I believe in belief. 349 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,380 Now, where I'm from, we got a saying too, yeah? 350 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:05,966 A question, actually. 351 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,927 "Do you believe in miracles?" 352 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,891 Now, I don't need y'all to answer that question for me... 353 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,103 but I do want you to answer that question for yourselves. 354 00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,188 Right now. 355 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,650 Do you believe in miracles? 356 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,404 And if you do... 357 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,926 then I want y'all to circle up with me right now. Come on. Let's go. 358 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,535 [players cheer, applaud] 359 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,745 Get 'em in here. 360 00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,124 All right, Captain. Let 'em know. 361 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,423 - [chattering] - Let's go, Skipper, let's go. 362 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:48,926 All right, Captain. Let 'em know. 363 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,053 Richmond on 12. 364 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,265 One, two, three, 365 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:59,186 four, five, six, 366 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:03,565 seven, nine, ten, eleven, twelve! 367 00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,400 [all] Richmond! 368 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,069 Go Richmond! 369 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,363 [Isaac] Let's go! 370 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,531 Is that miracle thing from a movie or real life? 371 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:12,616 Both. 372 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,868 Among the many subplots, the return of Jamie Tartt, 373 00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:18,121 who enjoyed a successful loan period here, 374 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:23,001 but had an infamous on-pitch dustup with Roy Kent, who is not starting today. 375 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,325 [Chris] I really can't remember 376 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,630 seeing Roy Kent on the bench for a big match. 377 00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:29,299 Hey, Jamie! Good luck! 378 00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:31,969 Fucking mind games. 379 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,680 [Arlo] It's Richmond versus Manchester City. 380 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,098 And we're off. 381 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,432 Here we go. 382 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895 [Arlo] Hendrick takes. Outside for Corwin. 383 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,689 Oh, and he puts Tartt through on goal. 384 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,566 No, no, no. 385 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,359 He has a man open to his left. 386 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,403 But he takes it himself! 387 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,572 And Zoreaux is there. 388 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,408 Nice stop! 389 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,493 That's a solid save from Zorro. 390 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,328 Yeah, Chris. It's pronounced "Zoreaux." 391 00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:02,583 Thirty minutes gone. Richmond with an opportunity here on the counterattack. 392 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,377 Obisanya with an inch-perfect through ball. 393 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,796 - [whistle blows] - Oh! Winchester was clearly offside. 394 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,173 Come on, now! 395 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,216 - Explain to me how that's offsides. - What? 396 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:14,720 No, I'm serious. How is that offside? I don't understand that yet. You... 397 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,348 [Arlo] And here comes Lasso's assistant coach to review their tactics. 398 00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:20,100 What chess moves do they have in store? 399 00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,412 When the vinegar was next to the Heineken, they weren't offside. 400 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,038 It's not when the vinegar catches the ball, 401 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,647 it's when ketchup passes the ball. 402 00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,024 - Yes, I understand now. - Okay. 403 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,526 [Arlo] A shot from Dixon... Oh! Pushed over the bar. 404 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:30,611 Corner, corner! 405 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,905 Agony for Dixon, but a corner for Richmond. 406 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,198 [woman] Come on, Richmond! 407 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,741 Corner kick, corner kick. 408 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,951 - Go for the Sandman. Call Sandman. - What? Sandman. 409 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,412 Sandman! Guys, the Sandman! 410 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,414 - [Dani] Sandman! - Here we go. 411 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,999 [Arlo] Rojas to take the corner. 412 00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,711 It's a dummy. Oh, and another one. What is this? 413 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,338 Dixon again! 414 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,173 No! Hamlin saves with his foot. 415 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,342 - Shit. - [Rupert groans] 416 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,512 Ooh, baby, the Sandman almost rocked 'em to sleep right there. 417 00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,657 - [Arlo] A bit of trickery from Ted Lasso. - [Chris] Haven't seen that one before. 418 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,850 Nice move though. Nice move. 419 00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:03,101 [whistle blows] 420 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,438 [Arlo] And that's halftime. The score is 0-0. 421 00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:09,441 Shockingly, Richmond are still in this, 422 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,611 thanks to the stellar play of Zoreaux in goal. 423 00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,321 Okay, well, you got... It's Reynolds. 424 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,257 No, you got to shore up your defense. You have to... 425 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,384 Okay, you know what? Never mind. I'm just gonna go with my gut. 426 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,928 Somebody check the Crystal Palace score. 427 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,537 Hey, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not. 428 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,498 I don't want to hear about any other game going on any other place. 429 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,209 Okay? Look, we are not playing for a tie. 430 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,169 Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister. 431 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,004 What? 432 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:35,592 Which is an American phrase that I'm now realizing does not exist here, 433 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,261 and that's good, 'cause it's creepy, 434 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,264 and I hate it myself, I don't know why I said it. 435 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,616 I think it's just the adrenaline, the nerves and all that. 436 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,642 But we are playing for a win. 437 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,936 Win and in. You hear? 438 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,356 - I can't hear your nods. Do you hear me? - Yes, Coach. 439 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,942 Okay, good. All right. Roy, you are starting the second half. 440 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,586 Go ahead and start warming up. Let's go. 441 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,862 Gentlemen, follow me. 442 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,077 And here comes Roy Kent. 443 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,913 - [crowd cheering] - Roy-o! 444 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,457 [Arlo] A surprising move from Lasso. 445 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,835 Manchester City's speed is causing Richmond problems, 446 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,256 and he brings on Roy Kent, who is, to be polite, very slow. 447 00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:17,009 That's 'cause he's a fucking octogenarian. Look at him. 448 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,052 [Arlo] City with a real opportunity here. 449 00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:20,846 Scharfenberg into the box. 450 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,599 - [whistle blows] - Oh, it's a penalty against Richmond. 451 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,601 - How? How? - [man] He didn't touch him! 452 00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:29,062 [Arlo] Zoreaux in position. Hendrick to take. 453 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,608 He scores. 454 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,568 [shrieks] 455 00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,906 City finally get past Zoreaux, and it's 1-0. 456 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,949 It's the goal that's been coming. 457 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:44,661 City take the lead, and the Dogtrack falls silent. 458 00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:47,664 We're only one goal down. There's still a chance. Come on, Richmond! 459 00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,166 I love you when you give a shit. 460 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,085 Go, Richmond! 461 00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,254 [Arlo] Jamie Tartt with the breakaway. 462 00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:57,174 If he scores here, it could be curtains for Richmond. 463 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,384 No one can catch him. 464 00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:01,511 Go, Roy, go! 465 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,976 Hold on. Can you believe it? It's Kent! 466 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,857 Yeah! Attaboy, Roy! 467 00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:15,234 Roy! Roy! 468 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:18,946 [Arlo] Once again, the tortoise has stopped the hare. 469 00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:21,365 That's how you put him down, Roy! 470 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:25,953 What's the matter? 471 00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:27,663 He's not getting up. 472 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:29,706 - [Arlo] Now this looks serious. - [Roy groans] 473 00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:33,168 It was a fair tackle on Tartt, but Kent may have paid the price. 474 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,313 - And they're sending out the physio. - [man] Get up, Roy! 475 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,172 Roy. Roy, are you okay? 476 00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:40,175 Fuck. I fucked my knee. 477 00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,053 - Want me to call for the stretcher, Roy? - No, just help me up. 478 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,139 [fans chanting] Roy Kent! He's here, he's there... 479 00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:47,599 What the fuck are you doing? 480 00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,268 He's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! 481 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,352 Listen. 482 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:53,313 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, 483 00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,440 he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! 484 00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:58,819 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, 485 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:03,323 he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 486 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,159 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where. 487 00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:07,452 Roy Kent! 488 00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:11,957 [Arlo] Well, we apologize for the fruity language as the crowd serenades Roy Kent 489 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,878 with a song that's echoed through the Premier League for more than a decade. 490 00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:18,380 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where... 491 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,840 [Arlo] And he's getting up. 492 00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:22,301 - Roy Kent! - [cheering] 493 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,636 [Chris] Roy Kent will never leave on a stretcher. 494 00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:32,269 Roy Kent! He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where! Roy Kent! 495 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,770 Roy Kent! 496 00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:36,940 He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where! 497 00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:40,360 Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 498 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:43,906 [Arlo] As Kent comes off, he claps the fans in gratitude. 499 00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,550 - [applause] - Kent has been a fan favorite 500 00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:48,827 because he always left everything he had out on the pitch, 501 00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:50,412 and he did so tonight. 502 00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:54,333 [fans continue chanting] 503 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:57,753 Chris, does this almost feel like a farewell to you? 504 00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,231 [Chris] Well, you have to wonder, Arlo. 505 00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,842 At his age, with that injury... 506 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,428 Personally, I'm sorry to say, 507 00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:10,766 I think this may be the last time we ever see the great Roy Kent lace up his boots. 508 00:23:28,492 --> 00:23:30,410 You're not allowed back here during a game. 509 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,625 I told you, you have to get out. 510 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,088 I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me. 511 00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:06,697 [phones chiming] 512 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:09,408 [chattering] 513 00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,330 - What the heck is going on... - [shushing] 514 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,917 That's the sound of 26,000 people checking mobiles. 515 00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:22,671 [fans cheering] 516 00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:25,549 Oh, my God. Palace won 6-0. 517 00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,342 But then that means... 518 00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:29,511 All we need is a tie. 519 00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:32,347 - We just need a tie, boys! - We just need a tie! 520 00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:33,974 [Ted] Come on! Let's go! 521 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,269 Come on, Richmond! 522 00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:43,525 Three minutes of added time is all that's left in Richmond's season. 523 00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:45,402 Montlaur runs left. 524 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,565 - [whistle blows] - Ooh! Fouled hard by Scharfenberg. 525 00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:50,240 There you go, Richard! You sell the crap outta that! 526 00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:53,535 [Arlo] Montlaur earns Richmond a late free kick. 527 00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,454 I think he's making a meal of it, Arlo. 528 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,414 City players do too. 529 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:01,210 [Arlo] No, Chris. He's definitely hurt. No, no, he's absolutely fine. 530 00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,586 Yeah! 531 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:06,757 Oi! Lasso Special! Lasso Special! 532 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,091 Holy smokes. 533 00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:09,718 Lasso Special! 534 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:12,197 [Arlo] Manchester City are more worried about yelling at the official 535 00:25:12,221 --> 00:25:14,932 than they are about... whatever it is Richmond are doing. 536 00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,993 - Hold on, hold on. - Actually, what are they doing? 537 00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,977 Ref! They can't do that! What are you doing? 538 00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:21,456 They're gonna run it. I didn't even call it. They're gonna just run it! 539 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,149 [Arlo] I don't know what's going on here, but it looks like... 540 00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,943 Is this American football? 541 00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,737 What the fuck is that? 542 00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,489 What's he doing? 543 00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:32,574 [Chris] I've never seen anything like this. 544 00:25:33,242 --> 00:25:34,618 - [Zoreaux] Motion! - Get in line! 545 00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:37,454 [Arlo] Obisanya goes in motion. 546 00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,667 If Richmond are trying to confuse Manchester City, 547 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,044 you have to say it's working. 548 00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:46,046 [Chris] It's working on me too, Arlo. 549 00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,130 Blue 48! 550 00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:49,299 [Arlo] Is Zoreaux yelling numbers and colors? 551 00:25:49,383 --> 00:25:50,843 Hut, hut, hut! Hike! 552 00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:53,929 [Richmond players] One, two, three, four... 553 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,016 [Arlo] The Richmond players fan out. City's defense is in chaos. 554 00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:02,521 And it's a Hail Mary to Obisanya, who is wide open! 555 00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:04,231 Rojas is all alone on the left. 556 00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:05,649 - Dani's onside. - Yeah, he is. 557 00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,490 [Arlo] Rojas! 558 00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:17,286 [cheering] 559 00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:20,539 - Yes! - Yeah! 560 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,585 [Arlo] The injury time equalizer from Dani Rojas, 561 00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:27,504 surely enough to keep Richmond in the Premier League! 562 00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:32,593 [together] We got a tie! We got a tie! 563 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,137 - Yeah! - We're staying in! 564 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:42,144 [shouts] 565 00:26:44,021 --> 00:26:45,022 Coach! 566 00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,150 [Arlo] Straight from the kickoff, oh, City are back on the attack. 567 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:51,403 There he is again. Ooh, Tartt loses Winchester with ease. 568 00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:53,197 It's only him and the goalkeeper. 569 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,280 No. 570 00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,577 Oh, he makes the extra pass. 571 00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,412 Hendrick buries it. 572 00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:01,663 [whistle blows] 573 00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,042 [sighs] 574 00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:08,253 Manchester City win, 575 00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:12,633 and AFC Richmond's time in the Premier League is over. 576 00:27:13,884 --> 00:27:16,887 [pop song playing] 577 00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,619 [Ted] We can "woulda, coulda, shoulda" all day long, 578 00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:44,081 but, uh, that's... it's a tough loss. It's a tough loss. 579 00:27:45,374 --> 00:27:46,625 It's over. 580 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:50,546 I do wanna congratulate Man City on their win though, and their coach, Pep. 581 00:27:50,629 --> 00:27:53,340 Boy, did he look sharp tonight. Yeah, my man... 582 00:27:54,091 --> 00:27:55,884 [Ted continues, indistinct] 583 00:27:55,968 --> 00:27:57,344 [phone chimes] 584 00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:07,020 [song continues] 585 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,523 [man grunts] 586 00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:13,527 You! Do you really think I would've come all the way down to London 587 00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,612 to watch my son pass the ball? 588 00:28:16,905 --> 00:28:20,576 You could've scored the winner. You're better than that, Jamie. Fuck! 589 00:28:26,039 --> 00:28:27,291 [Ted sighs] 590 00:28:28,834 --> 00:28:29,918 [song fades] 591 00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,379 So, look, I... 592 00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:35,799 Oh, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah. 593 00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:43,682 Hey. Y'all played a heck of a game out there. 594 00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:47,352 We may not have won, but y'all definitely succeeded. 595 00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:50,355 I mean, you gave the champs 90 minutes of hell. 596 00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:52,149 Zoreaux, where you at? 597 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,776 That dude had more saves than a Baptist preacher. 598 00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:56,904 Give it up for Zoreaux. Yeah. 599 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,451 That's right. What about Roy? Roy chased down his grandson. 600 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:05,454 - [players chuckling] - Stopped him from getting an easy one. 601 00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:12,127 Now, look, this is a sad moment right here. For all of us. 602 00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:14,087 And there ain't nothing I can say, 603 00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:16,965 standing in front of you right now, that can take that away. 604 00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:18,884 But please do me this favor, will you? 605 00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:22,679 Lift your heads up and look around this locker room. 606 00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:24,181 Yeah? 607 00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,768 Look at everybody else in here. 608 00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:31,313 And I want you to be grateful 609 00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:36,276 that you're going through this sad moment with all these other folks. 610 00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:40,239 Because I promise you, 611 00:29:40,322 --> 00:29:42,783 there is something worse out there than being sad, 612 00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,202 and that is being alone and being sad. 613 00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,540 Ain't nobody in this room alone. 614 00:29:52,918 --> 00:29:56,839 Sam, do you remember what animal has the shortest memory? 615 00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:58,590 A goldfish. 616 00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,676 That's right. It's a goldfish. 617 00:30:00,759 --> 00:30:03,220 Sam, what do you think we should all do 618 00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:07,641 once we get done being sad and/or angry about this situation? 619 00:30:08,809 --> 00:30:10,519 I think we should all be a goldfish. 620 00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:11,603 [Ted] I agree. 621 00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:14,815 Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together. 622 00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:16,984 And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish. 623 00:30:19,862 --> 00:30:21,405 Onward. Forward. 624 00:30:22,281 --> 00:30:24,408 [song continues] 625 00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:34,418 What do you want? 626 00:30:39,882 --> 00:30:40,883 Night, Jamie. 627 00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:43,093 [song continues] 628 00:30:43,177 --> 00:30:44,261 A love letter? 629 00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,335 [song ends] 630 00:31:16,418 --> 00:31:18,458 - We'll have a conversation about that. - [knocking] 631 00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:20,130 Hey, y'all. 632 00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,382 - I'll leave you two to talk. - Thank you, Leslie. 633 00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,178 Leslie? Is that your first name? 634 00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:29,848 It was my mother's name. I'm what's known as a feminine junior. 635 00:31:30,349 --> 00:31:32,518 - Oh. Cool. - [chuckles] 636 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,648 Please. Take a seat. 637 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:40,901 [clears throat] 638 00:31:42,945 --> 00:31:43,946 Tea? 639 00:31:44,029 --> 00:31:46,865 No. Tea and I are still on a lifelong hiatus, yeah. 640 00:31:46,949 --> 00:31:48,784 I'll take a little water though, please. 641 00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:52,162 Well, Ted. That was certainly a heartbreaking result. 642 00:31:52,246 --> 00:31:53,932 Yes, ma'am. And I've been thinking about it. 643 00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:57,251 I think it's mighty unfair that you have to fire me, so... 644 00:31:57,334 --> 00:32:00,671 If it's all the same to you, I'd like to spare you the trouble and just quit. 645 00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:05,133 Um, this here is my letter of resignation. 646 00:32:05,217 --> 00:32:08,220 Um... I wrote it on the back of a takeout menu, 647 00:32:08,303 --> 00:32:11,223 but it's in an envelope, and I signed it, so, you know, it's legit. 648 00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:13,433 You listen to me, Coach Lasso. 649 00:32:13,517 --> 00:32:19,439 You are not going anywhere, 'cause we have work to do next season. 650 00:32:23,861 --> 00:32:25,821 Well, okay. All right, then. 651 00:32:26,530 --> 00:32:28,782 Yeah. So, wait. Tell me this, though. 652 00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:32,077 The teams that get relegated, they can get, uh, un-relegated, yeah? 653 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,579 They can get promoted. 654 00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,747 So then, next year we get ourselves a promotion, 655 00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,916 which looks good on any résumé. 656 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,585 Then we come back to this league and... 657 00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,255 we do something that no one believes we could ever do. 658 00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:46,300 Win the whole fucking thing. 659 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,387 - There you are. - [both chuckle] 660 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:53,807 [sputters, groans] 661 00:32:53,891 --> 00:32:55,058 The bubbles. [coughs] 662 00:32:55,142 --> 00:32:57,227 I'm sorry. Did I get you? 663 00:33:00,189 --> 00:33:03,192 [woman singing in French]