1 00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:05,548 (light string music playing) 2 00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,749 (person groaning) 3 00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:14,018 Speaker: I used to think my legacy lay in the arts. 4 00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:18,423 In music, to be precise. 5 00:00:18,423 --> 00:00:21,930 My brother? Ugh, he was a prodigy on the violin. 6 00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:25,597 Everything came easily to him. 7 00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:28,634 Me? I had to work at things. 8 00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:31,103 (gasps) Did you hear that? 9 00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:33,209 Just the tiniest little bit of fourth finger vibrato. 10 00:00:33,508 --> 00:00:35,340 What do you want from me? 11 00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:39,648 "Blackbeard Breaks Ned Low's Record." 12 00:00:42,718 --> 00:00:44,283 (whispers) I'm Ned. 13 00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:45,952 I told you... 14 00:00:45,952 --> 00:00:48,992 I haven't seen Blackbeard's ship. 15 00:00:49,491 --> 00:00:51,360 (screams) 16 00:00:52,526 --> 00:00:55,564 I never did become a renowned violinist. 17 00:00:56,865 --> 00:01:01,737 My record... that was my legacy. 18 00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:07,576 Eighty-eight consecutive raids at sea. 19 00:01:08,676 --> 00:01:10,309 (whispers) And he took that from me. 20 00:01:10,309 --> 00:01:12,015 He took it. 21 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,851 I don't know where Blackbeard is. 22 00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:20,953 No, no, no, no, no. I-I've been tracking him for ages. 23 00:01:20,953 --> 00:01:23,355 I know exactly where he is. 24 00:01:23,355 --> 00:01:27,126 - Why are you doing this? - (whispers) Because, my love... 25 00:01:27,126 --> 00:01:29,665 I'm still a musician at heart. 26 00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:32,535 - (sizzling) - (lighthouse keeper wails) 27 00:01:33,434 --> 00:01:35,901 God, that was a beautiful pitch. 28 00:01:35,901 --> 00:01:37,974 That was really nice. 29 00:01:39,508 --> 00:01:41,144 (screaming) 30 00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,877 - (normal) Let's loosen up. - (lighthouse keeper wailing) 31 00:01:45,877 --> 00:01:48,580 - A bit more from the diaphragm. - (sizzling) 32 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:50,983 - Less from the throat. - (deeper wailing) 33 00:01:50,983 --> 00:01:54,958 (gasps) You have a lovely, natural instrument. 34 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,927 (birds cawing) 35 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,998 (pensive music playing) 36 00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:07,236 (thundering) 37 00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:17,409 Oh, look, it's scowl-y face. 38 00:02:17,409 --> 00:02:20,917 Oh, look... you're talkin' to me again. 39 00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:23,649 Yeah. 40 00:02:23,649 --> 00:02:26,355 Sorry, I'm a bit drunk, I thought you were Roach. 41 00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:31,291 Jesus. You're really puttin' that away, aren't you? 42 00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:33,125 Yes, I am. 43 00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,793 Somethin's wrong. 44 00:02:34,793 --> 00:02:37,666 Feels like a storm is coming, but I can't see it. 45 00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:41,200 Or maybe you're just a mopey twat 46 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,206 and there isn't a fuckin' storm. 47 00:02:50,679 --> 00:02:52,348 (sighs) 48 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,649 Sorry about your leg. 49 00:02:56,649 --> 00:02:58,651 ♪ 50 00:02:58,651 --> 00:03:00,356 Fuck off. 51 00:03:01,823 --> 00:03:03,058 Ta-da! 52 00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:07,392 I put all of your remaining treasure in one room. 53 00:03:07,392 --> 00:03:08,427 It was all over the place, 54 00:03:08,427 --> 00:03:10,095 and I was tripping over it. 55 00:03:10,095 --> 00:03:12,000 And some of it's quite ugly. 56 00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:15,737 Excellent. A reminder of all my guilt. 57 00:03:16,037 --> 00:03:17,706 A guilt room. 58 00:03:19,173 --> 00:03:21,844 Well, maybe you could do something good with it. 59 00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:26,811 I'm inside a snake, man! I'm inside of a fuckin' snake. 60 00:03:26,811 --> 00:03:29,148 And I'm like, I feel like a snake, move like a snake, 61 00:03:29,148 --> 00:03:31,783 ya know, and I get a knife and I just stab the fucker. 62 00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:35,120 And then I... (growls) And then I, like, crawl out, and then they're like, 63 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,760 "Surprise!" (laughing) 'Cause it was my birthday. 64 00:03:39,293 --> 00:03:41,993 And then we just spit-roasted that snake, it was delicious. 65 00:03:41,993 --> 00:03:45,297 (chuckles) So, um, (clears throat) what do you guys do 66 00:03:45,297 --> 00:03:46,499 for parties around here? 67 00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:47,836 - Uh... - Oh! 68 00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,336 Oh, yeah. We, we rage. 69 00:03:50,336 --> 00:03:52,371 - (laughs) I thought you might. - Oluwande: Yeah. 70 00:03:52,371 --> 00:03:54,441 - Roach: Yeah, we rage! - Fuckin' rage. 71 00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:55,808 - D-Do you? - Yeah. 72 00:03:55,808 --> 00:03:57,477 Oluwande: Heavy on the rage. (chuckles) 73 00:03:57,477 --> 00:03:59,082 Hm, do we? 74 00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:02,680 I haven't crawled out of a snake in years. 75 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,651 Yeah, guys. It's been kinda slow around here. 76 00:04:05,651 --> 00:04:08,553 I mean, last night, we just reorganized furniture. 77 00:04:08,553 --> 00:04:10,688 Yeah, well, improvement in the flow is undeniable. 78 00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:13,325 - Have you seen this place? - (crewmembers agreeing) 79 00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:15,828 Yeah, but I'll be honest. We are a bit boring now, aren't we? 80 00:04:15,828 --> 00:04:17,730 - Ugh. - Yeah, yeah, that's right. 81 00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:20,065 Well, it's a happy coincidence then 82 00:04:20,065 --> 00:04:22,702 that today is Calypso's birthday. 83 00:04:22,702 --> 00:04:24,802 - (gasps) - Oh, yeah! 84 00:04:24,802 --> 00:04:27,906 - Yeah! Shit, that's today? - Yeah, it certainly is. 85 00:04:27,906 --> 00:04:30,142 The most holy day in the Calypsian calendar. 86 00:04:30,142 --> 00:04:32,477 And seeing as many of us here are Calypsish-- 87 00:04:32,477 --> 00:04:33,545 Oh, yeah, I'm Calypsish. 88 00:04:33,545 --> 00:04:35,213 You're Calypsish, you're Calypsish. 89 00:04:35,213 --> 00:04:36,515 Archie: Wait, wait, wait. 90 00:04:36,515 --> 00:04:39,384 Is Calypso's birthday something that you guys 91 00:04:39,384 --> 00:04:43,426 just made up, just invented so that we can have a party? 92 00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:48,027 - (Oluwande chuckles) - Correctamundo. 93 00:04:48,027 --> 00:04:50,062 (all cheering) 94 00:04:50,062 --> 00:04:52,431 - Yeah, it is! - Ay, Calypso birthday! 95 00:04:52,431 --> 00:04:55,067 You can buy new clothes. Or how's this? 96 00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:59,538 Give a lot of it away to those less fortunate. 97 00:04:59,538 --> 00:05:01,206 - (footsteps approach) - Yeah. 98 00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:03,375 Hey, uh, Captains, 99 00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:05,711 um, your crew were just wondering if we're doin' anything 100 00:05:05,711 --> 00:05:08,180 - for Calypso's birthday. - Calypso's birthday? 101 00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:09,949 Correct. It's a day of observance. 102 00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:11,918 By far, the holiest of days in our culture. 103 00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:14,186 Traditionally celebrated by a big bash. 104 00:05:14,186 --> 00:05:16,856 Well, we-- Definitely. We should, um-- 105 00:05:16,856 --> 00:05:19,462 Yes. We'll-- I'll, I'll get onto that. 106 00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:21,527 Have fun. 107 00:05:21,527 --> 00:05:23,031 (whispers) We should do that. 108 00:05:23,730 --> 00:05:27,266 Yeah, uh, so they're just tryin' to Calypso you. 109 00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:32,305 Um, it's totally just a huge made-up excuse for a big party. 110 00:05:32,305 --> 00:05:34,139 Oh. 111 00:05:34,139 --> 00:05:35,207 Well, you know what? 112 00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:36,776 You could use this loot 113 00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:38,578 to pay for a big bash. 114 00:05:38,578 --> 00:05:41,050 Turn poison into positivity! 115 00:05:43,618 --> 00:05:46,050 Poison into positivity. 116 00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:49,789 Prince Ricky Banes: The evils of piracy have plagued our nations 117 00:05:49,789 --> 00:05:53,926 and our communities for long enough. 118 00:05:53,926 --> 00:05:57,797 Indeed, I was minding my own business 119 00:05:57,797 --> 00:05:59,735 and I was beset by brigands. 120 00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:02,538 You?! You robbed me? 121 00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:09,174 And those 20-something brigands... took my nose. 122 00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:10,909 - (Prince Ricky screams) - (slices) 123 00:06:10,909 --> 00:06:14,947 So, it's up to us fine gentlemen 124 00:06:14,947 --> 00:06:20,285 to stand up against this modern piracy 125 00:06:20,285 --> 00:06:22,522 and stay vigilant. 126 00:06:22,522 --> 00:06:24,424 (applause) 127 00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:26,495 (indistinct chatter) 128 00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:31,297 Remarkable speech, Prince. 129 00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:34,370 This was delivered by messenger this morning. 130 00:06:40,909 --> 00:06:42,836 Oh. 131 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,338 (lute music plays) 132 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,707 Stede Bonnet: Alright. Party supplies on Ed. 133 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,983 - Jim: We're gonna need flowers and lanterns. - (excited chatter) 134 00:06:50,983 --> 00:06:52,384 Fang: Ooh, we're gonna need a goat. 135 00:06:52,384 --> 00:06:54,619 And some rum. A rum-drinking goat! 136 00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:56,388 So, what do we think Calypso drinks? 137 00:06:56,388 --> 00:06:58,290 Bearing in mind Blackbeard is payin', so let's-- 138 00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:02,527 Oh, whoa, whoa. Then I reckon she drinks a fine brandy. 139 00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:04,330 - One worthy of a goddess. - Yeah. 140 00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:05,197 - Yeah. - Yeah. 141 00:07:05,197 --> 00:07:06,533 We've only got rum. 142 00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:07,803 One type. 143 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,273 Cheap. 144 00:07:11,739 --> 00:07:13,709 - Well, we'll take that, then. Yeah. - Yep, yep. 145 00:07:14,341 --> 00:07:16,075 Blackbeard: Hey, urchins, I'm gonna change your lives. 146 00:07:16,075 --> 00:07:18,379 Here's 50,000 doubloons. 147 00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:21,050 You know how long it was till I had that kinda money? 148 00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:25,821 A fuckin' long time. 149 00:07:26,688 --> 00:07:28,724 And here is a knife. 150 00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:31,991 You stab anyone who comes near that money, okay? 151 00:07:31,991 --> 00:07:33,362 I want a knife. 152 00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:35,298 Yeah, you can have a knife, too. 153 00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:38,663 Pro tip here: When you're killing someone, 154 00:07:38,663 --> 00:07:41,061 okay, don't bother stabbing, alright? 155 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,201 Chances are they'll survive. 156 00:07:42,201 --> 00:07:43,402 You wanna slash 157 00:07:43,402 --> 00:07:45,203 big, deep slashes side to side 158 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,742 so the guts all fall out. 159 00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:48,741 Hey. 160 00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:50,710 Did I see you offer 161 00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:53,612 both these children knives... 162 00:07:53,612 --> 00:07:55,380 and a big bag of money? 163 00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,884 Yeah. Yeah, well, I just 164 00:07:57,884 --> 00:08:00,185 thought I'd give these filthy, little gutter rats, 165 00:08:00,185 --> 00:08:02,588 uh, the head start that I never had. 166 00:08:02,588 --> 00:08:04,890 - Poison into positivity. - Ahh. 167 00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:05,925 Are you a pirate? 168 00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,392 - No, we're not pirates. - No. 169 00:08:07,392 --> 00:08:09,394 And you won't be pirates either. 170 00:08:09,394 --> 00:08:11,463 Okay? We own an inn. 171 00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:13,001 Yes, of course. How can I forget? 172 00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:15,067 Blackbeard: Don't pirate, kids. Alright? 173 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,969 Stede: Agree. Don't be pirates. Don't be pirates. 174 00:08:16,969 --> 00:08:20,476 (tense music playing) 175 00:08:21,142 --> 00:08:23,812 I see you've received our invitation. 176 00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:28,550 Hm. That's a very interesting way to describe blackmail. 177 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,651 Do we like the term "blackmail"? 178 00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:33,319 (chuckles) It's so unpleasant. 179 00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:34,987 Can we just say that I... 180 00:08:34,987 --> 00:08:37,693 (deep inhale) I see you... 181 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,795 clearly. 182 00:08:40,329 --> 00:08:42,097 Ah... Ah. 183 00:08:42,497 --> 00:08:43,728 Left a bit of yourself behind 184 00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:46,932 - at Spanish Jackie's, eh? - Auntie, please. 185 00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:48,600 He's been through enough. 186 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,230 He's disfigured himself as a result 187 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,838 of a business deal gone wrong. 188 00:08:51,838 --> 00:08:53,809 No, no, we don't need to pile on. 189 00:08:54,341 --> 00:09:00,580 I would be very careful who you trifle with, Zheng Yi Sao. 190 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,348 'Cause I'm a minor prince. 191 00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:05,617 - And that's why we're blackmailing you. - Ah. 192 00:09:05,617 --> 00:09:07,985 Again, I don't like that term. (chuckles) 193 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:12,285 "Minor prince." "Pirate queen who bent China to her will." 194 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,193 These are, these are just labels. 195 00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,862 I don't wanna talk about who you are. 196 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:21,299 (laughs) I wanna talk about... who you could be. 197 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,936 - (Zheng pouring tea) - Prince Ricky: Hm. 198 00:09:23,936 --> 00:09:27,505 ("Wasting My Time" by Harry Mosco playing) 199 00:09:27,505 --> 00:09:29,975 Roach: Here we go, guys. The snacks are ready. 200 00:09:29,975 --> 00:09:32,515 (muffled music playing) 201 00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:38,387 - What's all this, then? - I'm working on my look. 202 00:09:38,987 --> 00:09:40,223 Look? 203 00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:43,258 The fuck's a look? 204 00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:46,624 Well, tonight I'm going as the Sea Goddess Calypso. 205 00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:51,700 I'm thinking dramatic eyes, dramatic lips. 206 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,033 Drama on the cheeks. 207 00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:56,636 ♪ 208 00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:59,708 (crew cheering, laughing) 209 00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:05,710 Now, it's imperative you do not sip until Calypso herself decrees. 210 00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:09,748 - Roach: Ah! Come on! - May the goddess have mercy on this thirsty little guy. 211 00:10:09,748 --> 00:10:12,655 - (laughter) - Pirate: Woo! 212 00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:15,454 (laughs) What is this? 213 00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:17,824 Archie: Ah! Welcome, ye party animules! 214 00:10:17,824 --> 00:10:19,358 - Oh, thank you. - For you! 215 00:10:19,358 --> 00:10:20,592 Hang on, that's my tub! 216 00:10:20,592 --> 00:10:23,362 Is it? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm new here. 217 00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:26,398 The moving of the tub, it's a sacred tradition! 218 00:10:26,398 --> 00:10:30,002 - Yeah, this guy's devout as fuck! - Just go with it. 219 00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:32,605 Fine. As long as it's returned without a dent. 220 00:10:32,605 --> 00:10:33,772 - Jim: Gah! - (Stede yelps) 221 00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,240 Do you feel that? 222 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,910 - (Jim speaks Spanish) - (Archie exclaiming) 223 00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:40,379 Roach: Oh! She must be near! 224 00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:42,848 - (indistinct yelling) - (laughter) 225 00:10:42,848 --> 00:10:44,884 Wee John Feeney: Greetings, mortals. 226 00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:48,015 - All: Ooh! - Whoa! Is that Wee John? 227 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,955 'Tis I, Calypso. 228 00:10:49,955 --> 00:10:52,791 (crewmembers vocalizing) 229 00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:55,462 Raise your motherfucking glasses 230 00:10:55,462 --> 00:10:58,265 or feel my absolute wrath. 231 00:10:58,265 --> 00:11:00,299 (all cheering) 232 00:11:00,299 --> 00:11:04,069 - (Wee John laughing) - (indistinct yelling) 233 00:11:04,069 --> 00:11:06,038 (sings) ♪ La, la ♪ 234 00:11:06,038 --> 00:11:08,310 Yeah, just play that. Just follow my beat. 235 00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:11,814 (Frenchie playing "La Vie En Rose" on lute) 236 00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:18,083 (sings) ♪ Hold me close and hold me fast ♪ 237 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:21,287 ♪ The magic spell you cast ♪ 238 00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:26,092 ♪ This is la vie en rose ♪ 239 00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:30,262 ♪ When you kiss me, heaven sighs ♪ 240 00:11:30,262 --> 00:11:33,833 - ♪ And though I close my eyes ♪ - (Wee John sighs) 241 00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:37,873 ♪ I see la vie en rose ♪ 242 00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:41,506 - ♪ When you press me to your heart... ♪ - What's happening right now? 243 00:11:41,506 --> 00:11:44,047 - I think you did it. - Did what? 244 00:11:45,046 --> 00:11:48,417 Turned the poison into positivity. 245 00:11:50,051 --> 00:11:52,084 ♪ And when you speak ♪ 246 00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:55,357 - ♪ Angels sing from above ♪ - Come on. 247 00:11:56,023 --> 00:12:02,528 ♪ Everyday words seem to turn into love ♪ 248 00:12:02,528 --> 00:12:04,430 - (loud bang) - (all scream) 249 00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:06,265 Stede: Oh, God! We're under attack! 250 00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:08,535 - (indistinct yelling) - (cannon fire) 251 00:12:08,535 --> 00:12:11,474 - (screaming) - Get down! 252 00:12:12,006 --> 00:12:14,006 Roach: What's happening?! Is it fireworks?! 253 00:12:14,006 --> 00:12:18,471 Good evening, doomed crew of "The Revenge." 254 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,250 (sighs) Ned Low. Fuckin' perfect. 255 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,817 Oh, I'm going to torture you all, by the way. 256 00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:27,890 (tense music playing) 257 00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:31,323 Ned Low: Ya know, uh, we've never met. 258 00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:33,492 But there's a reason for that. 259 00:12:33,492 --> 00:12:35,828 Because I only hang out with cool pirates. 260 00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:40,566 No. The reason is that I have always thought 261 00:12:40,566 --> 00:12:42,638 you were a very... 262 00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,671 generic pirate. 263 00:12:45,671 --> 00:12:48,040 Ya know? Beard? Check. 264 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,808 - Hair? Check. - Fuck off. 265 00:12:49,808 --> 00:12:54,046 Tattoos? Check. Ya know, just sort of a typical, common, 266 00:12:54,046 --> 00:12:58,650 dirty... bag of pirate. 267 00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:00,853 I didn't even want your fuckin' record. 268 00:13:00,853 --> 00:13:02,758 I only broke it 'cause I was bored. 269 00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:05,461 Mm-hmm. Hm. 270 00:13:06,294 --> 00:13:10,529 Ya know, music came very easily to my younger brother. 271 00:13:10,529 --> 00:13:11,830 Let me guess, you killed him? 272 00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,366 Strung up your little fiddle bow with his guts 273 00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:17,172 or something super melodramatic like that. 274 00:13:18,205 --> 00:13:21,540 - Ooh, shit. Struck a chord. I think you got it in one. - Oh. (laughs) Yeah. 275 00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,842 It's usually something like that. 276 00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,443 It's often family-based stuff. 277 00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:26,411 I will (yells) not 278 00:13:26,411 --> 00:13:29,949 be undone by another idiot savant! 279 00:13:29,949 --> 00:13:32,618 - (screaming) - Fuck you! 280 00:13:32,618 --> 00:13:36,021 (groans, sighs) You torture like a bitch. 281 00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:37,222 - Oh, yeah? - That's good. 282 00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:38,624 But maybe don't encourage him. 283 00:13:38,624 --> 00:13:40,759 Hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 284 00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:42,862 - It's me you want. It's me you want! - Oh, oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! 285 00:13:42,862 --> 00:13:44,096 - Don't! I'm gonna fuckin'... - (screaming) 286 00:13:44,096 --> 00:13:45,698 ...kill you, you fucker! 287 00:13:45,698 --> 00:13:47,566 Pirate: This is really gonna hurt. 288 00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:49,696 - (screaming) - Just so you know. 289 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,638 Relax. Oh, I'm tender-headed, ya know? 290 00:13:52,638 --> 00:13:54,540 (groans) Alright! Okay! (yells) 291 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:58,110 (laughs) I don't think the torture has begun. 292 00:13:58,110 --> 00:13:59,712 Wait, so it gets worse than this? 293 00:13:59,712 --> 00:14:02,281 Yeah, it gets way worse. 294 00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:05,050 So, what's the plan, you weird fuck? 295 00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:07,386 Um, yeah, I'm probably gonna cut your skin off 296 00:14:07,386 --> 00:14:09,054 in strips or some bullshit like that. 297 00:14:09,054 --> 00:14:11,256 You don't sound very excited about it. 298 00:14:11,256 --> 00:14:15,227 Hm. Uh, what are we, uh, 299 00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:16,963 what are we celebrating here, guys? 300 00:14:16,963 --> 00:14:19,098 - It's Calypso's birthday. - (chuckles) Calypso. 301 00:14:19,098 --> 00:14:21,466 - Uh, I'm Calypso. - Oh, God. 302 00:14:21,466 --> 00:14:23,269 Guys, they (chuckles) Calypso'd them. 303 00:14:23,269 --> 00:14:26,238 - (all laughing) - Ned would shit his pants if we did that. (laughs) 304 00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:28,640 Yeah, Captain likes a bit of whimsy now and then. 305 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,310 Well, I guess our captains have very different ideas about whimsy. 306 00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:33,145 Uh, may-maybe we should talk about it. 307 00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:36,448 - No. Same shit, different day. - (groans) Okay. Okay. Okay. 308 00:14:36,448 --> 00:14:38,317 - I'll shut up. I'll shut up. - Ya know, whatever this is, 309 00:14:38,317 --> 00:14:40,085 it's just gonna turn me on. 310 00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:41,281 {\an8}- Oh, really? - Uh-huh. 311 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,088 {\an8}Go fuck yourself. 312 00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:47,193 Wow. We were in there for a, a whole day. 313 00:14:47,193 --> 00:14:51,029 (sighs) I guess this is just engaged life. 314 00:14:51,029 --> 00:14:53,699 Here's to... 24 hours of... 315 00:14:53,699 --> 00:14:58,099 freaky... uninterrupted love. 316 00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,375 Mm. 317 00:15:02,243 --> 00:15:05,111 Yeah, why weren't we interrupted? Where is everyone? 318 00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:07,182 (crew screaming) 319 00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:11,620 - That doesn't sound-- - Are we... under attack? 320 00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:15,058 (groaning) 321 00:15:19,528 --> 00:15:20,762 Comfy? 322 00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:26,435 Tighter, please. I think you've almost fixed my lower back. 323 00:15:27,936 --> 00:15:30,640 - (Blackbeard screams) - Ned: Mmm. 324 00:15:31,206 --> 00:15:34,139 Alright, you idiots. It's almost showtime. 325 00:15:34,139 --> 00:15:35,574 Everyone settled in? 326 00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:38,243 Prepared to give their finest performance? 327 00:15:38,243 --> 00:15:40,078 (crewmembers groaning) 328 00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:41,879 Can you hurry up? 329 00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:44,683 Do you want it done fast or do you want it done well? 330 00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:45,987 Both! 331 00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:47,586 (mutters) Yeah, right. Both. 332 00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:49,654 Torturing us won't get your record back. 333 00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:52,057 I know that. I'm just doing it for the lolz. 334 00:15:52,057 --> 00:15:53,892 (groans) 335 00:15:53,892 --> 00:15:57,729 Now, you are about to witness... 336 00:15:57,729 --> 00:16:01,437 a little something I call... "The Symphony." 337 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,071 Let's all tune up! Tuning up! 338 00:16:06,071 --> 00:16:08,577 (all screaming at different pitches) 339 00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:15,114 {\an8}Black Pete (whispers): Okay, so, let's see here. 340 00:16:15,114 --> 00:16:17,015 Weapons. Weapons. Weapons. 341 00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:20,489 Babe, here's everything I could find that's sharp or pointy. 342 00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:25,527 Oh, my God, that's actually, like, making me nauseous. 343 00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,428 - We really have to, like, do something. - Yeah, yeah. No, no. 344 00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:31,696 Maybe we just, like, tell their stories. 345 00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:33,933 And in some ways, isn't that the best revenge? 346 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:37,802 But we're not really at the revenge step. 347 00:16:37,802 --> 00:16:41,807 We're sort of in the, like... pre-revenge window. 348 00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:44,710 But there's a bunch of them and two of us. 349 00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:47,546 (crewmembers screaming) 350 00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:49,982 Right, so, so, so, like, a plan. 351 00:16:49,982 --> 00:16:51,383 Yeah, we definitely need a plan. 352 00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:52,417 And we probably need more knives. 353 00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:53,547 We definitely need more knives. 354 00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:54,620 Okay, I'll go get some. 355 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,892 Okay. Like, a bunch more knives. 356 00:16:57,859 --> 00:16:59,996 (groaning, screaming) 357 00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:05,330 - Ah! Jesus! Ah! - No! You're late! 358 00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:07,569 - Pirate: I wasn't late. - It really hurts! 359 00:17:07,802 --> 00:17:09,501 Oh, thank you. 360 00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:12,175 It's nice to get a little positive reinforcement now and again. 361 00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:15,174 Don't talk to my employee. 362 00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:18,310 - Oh, God. - Oh, that's the problem. 363 00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,312 You see her as your employee 364 00:17:20,312 --> 00:17:23,315 rather than the person she actually is. 365 00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:25,751 Okay... kill him. 366 00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:28,187 - (pirate groans) - Alrighty, dumbasses. 367 00:17:28,187 --> 00:17:30,957 - Let's take it from the top! - (screaming) 368 00:17:30,957 --> 00:17:32,824 - Enough trifling! - Oh! 369 00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:36,461 Release my crew or Hellkat-- Is it Hellkat? 370 00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:38,297 Uh, it's actually H-Hellkat Maggie. 371 00:17:38,297 --> 00:17:40,098 - Oh, that's a beautiful name. - Oh, thank you. 372 00:17:40,098 --> 00:17:42,070 Hellkat Maggie gets it. 373 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:43,864 (scoffs) Go ahead and kill her. 374 00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:46,205 She can't even tie a rope correctly. 375 00:17:46,205 --> 00:17:48,974 Maybe I'm demoralized by your constant fucking criticism. 376 00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:50,943 Pirate: Me too. I've had enough of the shiny fuck. 377 00:17:50,943 --> 00:17:53,111 I don't like the way it makes me feel working for you. 378 00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:55,647 - Yeah, this job sucks. - (Ned's crew agreeing) 379 00:17:55,647 --> 00:17:57,349 You're mercenaries. You don't have feelings. 380 00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:59,118 How about you stop telling me who I am? 381 00:17:59,118 --> 00:18:01,585 - Yeah, and she has a name. - Yeah. 382 00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,555 - A beautiful one. - (door slams open) 383 00:18:03,555 --> 00:18:06,191 Black Pete (yelling): Fuck yeah! You wanna get crazy? 384 00:18:06,191 --> 00:18:08,226 Let's get fuckin' crazy! 385 00:18:08,226 --> 00:18:10,496 {\an8}Guys, Stede's already got this! 386 00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:12,531 - Oluwande: Yeah. Where you been? - We got engaged. 387 00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:15,963 - All: Aww. - Oh, I love that. 388 00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:18,304 Anywho, where were we? Oh, that's right. 389 00:18:18,304 --> 00:18:20,907 Your lot was turning, weren't you? 390 00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:22,708 - Hellkat Maggie: Mm-hmm. - Stede: Good. 391 00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:24,576 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Come on. Come on. 392 00:18:24,576 --> 00:18:27,645 Please. Let's have a little professionalism. 393 00:18:27,645 --> 00:18:29,884 Oh, now he's saying please. (laughs) 394 00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:32,919 Who's comin' in late now, Neddy? 395 00:18:32,919 --> 00:18:34,486 ♪ 396 00:18:34,486 --> 00:18:39,224 Oh, in summary, you have built a pirate navy, 397 00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:43,061 and you want the Crown to pay them not to pirate. 398 00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:45,331 Correct. Pay them a living wage. 399 00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:47,199 Then they will stop stealing your shit. 400 00:18:47,199 --> 00:18:50,602 Do you know where a fifth of your nation's treasure winds up? 401 00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:53,172 - On the sea floor. - On the floor of the sea. 402 00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,440 Get out. No way, the sea floor? 403 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,511 But you-you are gonna end all that. 404 00:18:58,511 --> 00:19:01,180 You could end all that. 405 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:04,884 Oh, because of Papa's access to the Treasury? 406 00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:07,552 Zheng Yi Sao: Yes, but more importantly, 407 00:19:07,552 --> 00:19:10,784 because you're Prince Richard Banes, 408 00:19:10,784 --> 00:19:13,759 respected pirate abolitionist. 409 00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:17,262 And you could be the man to end all piracy 410 00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:20,132 without firing a single shot. 411 00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:22,404 - (strikes match) - Shot. 412 00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,404 Thanks for the treasure, Bonnet! 413 00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:25,770 You're a good dude. 414 00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:27,940 Awfully sorry to hear about your mum, Vincent. 415 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:29,441 Hope she's feeling better soon. 416 00:19:29,441 --> 00:19:32,645 Thanks, Bonnet. You're the fuckin' man, bro. 417 00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,712 Alright. Full sail, dawgs! 418 00:19:34,712 --> 00:19:37,750 Oh, and I mean that supportively and affectionately. 419 00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,753 Ned: You are all a disgrace! 420 00:19:40,753 --> 00:19:44,923 I'll find you! I'll hunt you down! 421 00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:47,592 Hellkat Maggie: Alright, gang! Let's talk profit sharing. 422 00:19:47,592 --> 00:19:50,663 - (Ned's crew cheers) - Pirate: Woo-hoo-hoo! Maggie! 423 00:19:50,663 --> 00:19:52,465 (Ned sighs) 424 00:19:52,465 --> 00:19:55,934 So... Bland Beard. 425 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,439 How ya gonna do it? 426 00:19:57,838 --> 00:20:00,909 I'm not. I don't respect you enough to kill you. 427 00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,242 You're not worth the poison. 428 00:20:03,242 --> 00:20:05,778 What happened to you? What happened? 429 00:20:05,778 --> 00:20:07,479 You used to be a killer, 430 00:20:07,479 --> 00:20:11,651 but now you're just a washed-up, low-born... 431 00:20:11,651 --> 00:20:13,722 - dirtbag. - (gasps) 432 00:20:15,723 --> 00:20:18,157 - Walk! - Oh. Oh, oh, now this is how ya do it. 433 00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:20,293 This is what it's all about right here. 434 00:20:20,293 --> 00:20:21,564 Go. 435 00:20:23,164 --> 00:20:25,834 ♪ 436 00:20:28,337 --> 00:20:29,372 Get up. 437 00:20:31,907 --> 00:20:34,107 - (plank creaks) - Ned: On the plank? 438 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,441 Yeah. 439 00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,042 Oh, that is kinky. 440 00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:39,946 You're gonna toss me into the sea? 441 00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,014 ♪ 442 00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:45,684 Works for spiders. Works for men. 443 00:20:45,684 --> 00:20:50,389 Ya know, um, once you kill me, 444 00:20:50,389 --> 00:20:52,959 you are a real pirate. 445 00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:57,433 You're, you're not an amateur anymore. 446 00:20:58,566 --> 00:21:00,393 Don't do it, Stede. 447 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,706 Killing in cold blood, you can't come back from that. 448 00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:09,410 See? That's why he likes you. 449 00:21:09,776 --> 00:21:13,680 It's because of your bumbling amateur status. 450 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,619 You're like a pet, I think. 451 00:21:17,252 --> 00:21:19,085 You hurt my crew. 452 00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:22,321 You shit-talked my friend and damaged my ship. 453 00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:26,759 But worst of all, you fucked Calypso's birthday! 454 00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:29,161 (crew exclaims) 455 00:21:29,161 --> 00:21:32,097 - (all agreeing) - Fuck off. 456 00:21:32,097 --> 00:21:37,369 Alright, well, what would you like me to do? Jump? 457 00:21:37,369 --> 00:21:39,739 No, don't forget your fiddle. 458 00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:42,174 - (Ned screams) - (loud splash) 459 00:21:42,174 --> 00:21:44,877 (crew exclaiming) 460 00:21:44,877 --> 00:21:48,180 (solemn music playing) 461 00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:50,253 (cheering) 462 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,760 I'll be in my quarters. 463 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,098 Izzy Hands: Give him a minute. 464 00:22:03,131 --> 00:22:05,268 First kill's always a mind-fuck. 465 00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:08,771 I'm gonna check on him. 466 00:22:12,173 --> 00:22:13,842 (knocks on door) 467 00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:19,248 Hey. You okay? 468 00:22:20,148 --> 00:22:23,081 (sighs) Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well. 469 00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:26,118 I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that-- 470 00:22:26,118 --> 00:22:29,789 (Izzy singing "La Vie En Rose" in French) 471 00:22:29,789 --> 00:22:32,495 (Frenchie plays lute) 472 00:22:33,494 --> 00:22:38,497 ♪ Je vois la vie en rose ♪ 473 00:22:38,497 --> 00:22:42,668 ♪ Il me dit des mots d'amour ♪ 474 00:22:42,668 --> 00:22:45,637 ♪ Des mots de tous les jours ♪ 475 00:22:45,637 --> 00:22:50,508 ♪ Et ca m'fait quelque chose ♪ 476 00:22:50,508 --> 00:22:54,747 ♪ Il est entré dans mon coeur ♪ 477 00:22:54,747 --> 00:22:57,750 ♪ Une part de bonheur ♪ 478 00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:02,354 ♪ Dont je connais la cause ♪ 479 00:23:02,354 --> 00:23:08,460 ♪ C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie ♪ 480 00:23:08,460 --> 00:23:13,866 ♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie ♪ 481 00:23:13,866 --> 00:23:16,940 - (Izzy holds note) - (all cheering) 482 00:23:20,408 --> 00:23:24,447 - (fireworks exploding) - (Roach laughs, cheers) 483 00:23:27,181 --> 00:23:34,223 ♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪ 484 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,160 ♪ 485 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,866 (fireworks exploding) 486 00:23:45,899 --> 00:23:52,204 ♪ C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie ♪ 487 00:23:52,204 --> 00:23:58,878 ♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie ♪ 488 00:23:58,878 --> 00:24:03,015 ♪ Et dès que je l'apercois ♪ 489 00:24:03,015 --> 00:24:06,218 ♪ Alors, je sens en moi ♪ 490 00:24:06,218 --> 00:24:11,891 ♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪ 491 00:24:11,891 --> 00:24:14,559 (crew singing along) 492 00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:18,058 All: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ 493 00:24:18,058 --> 00:24:24,103 ♪ Da, da, daaa, da ♪ 494 00:24:24,103 --> 00:24:27,176 (cheering, applause) 495 00:24:29,743 --> 00:24:33,782 All (chanting): One more song! One more song! 496 00:24:34,649 --> 00:24:37,283 Izzy: I've got one more song! 497 00:24:37,283 --> 00:24:39,351 (cheering) 498 00:24:39,351 --> 00:24:42,025 (fireworks exploding) 499 00:24:50,231 --> 00:24:53,232 - (goat bleats) - My apologies, guys, but I couldn't let 'em 500 00:24:53,232 --> 00:24:54,967 harm this little fella. 501 00:24:54,967 --> 00:24:57,136 So, we just went and hid off the side 502 00:24:57,136 --> 00:24:59,638 for a couple of hours, here. 503 00:24:59,638 --> 00:25:01,407 And now I've got really sore fingies 504 00:25:01,407 --> 00:25:03,876 from hangin' there holding you! Yes, you! 505 00:25:03,876 --> 00:25:05,111 Archie: Mate, you got sore fingies? 506 00:25:05,111 --> 00:25:07,146 I've got sore footsies and got tortured! 507 00:25:07,146 --> 00:25:08,614 - And we survived! - Oluwande: Yeah. 508 00:25:08,614 --> 00:25:11,920 - Let's fuckin' party! - (cheering) 509 00:25:12,753 --> 00:25:15,087 - I'll go get the fireworks! - Archie: Yeah! 510 00:25:15,087 --> 00:25:16,492 Ah!