[upbeat music]
- Hey buddy, I wanted to cheer you up,
so I got you a gift.
- Oh, wow.
It looks just like the one
my abuela got me that I lost.
- It is that one. I stole it a few weeks ago
to get your fingerprints
for this identity theft thing I was doing.
- Thanks? But I don't need cheering up.
I spent all weekend trying to figure out
how the Douglas kids can stay at Bayside,
and I think I got some pretty interesting ideas.
- "Lock front door of Douglas, hide key in piggy bank."
- Okay, some are better than others.
I also started a petition and I left a message
for someone named Roberta at the Department of Education.
I just figured in the last few months
I've managed to change things at Bayside,
so who's to say I can't change the world?
- You're right you've had a huge impact here.
I couldn't even imagine if you never came to this school.
* *
[brakes screech]
- Uh-oh. Miss Mandrake, I didn't do my homework.
- Homework? - We haven't had homework
since you outlawed it, o, wise leader.
[cheers and applause]
- Oh, yeah, I forgot. And look at what else I did.
- Hey, Matt, I'm your Bayside Buddy.
I just transferred here from Make Out High.
Want to break into Toddman's car and study?
- Duh. Ha ha.
What's that?
We're having dyno nuggets for lunch?
[applause]
I'm going to live forever.
I'm so sorry.
I did not think that fantasy sequence
about life without you would be so dope.
- It's okay.
[record scratch]
[school bell rings]
- * When I wake up in the mornin' *
* Alarm gives out a warnin' *
* I don't think I'll ever make it on time *
[school bell ringing]
* By the time I grab my books *
* And I give myself a look *
* I'm at the corner just in time *
* It's all right, it's all right *
* Saved by the bell, it's all right *
* It's all right, saved by the bell *
* It's all right *
* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *
[school bell ringing]
- I am so pissed about the kids being forced out.
Not just the cool ones who play sports--
even the little nerds.
- The PTA thinks it's such a great idea
to reopen, Douglas,
why don't they send their own kids there first?
- Right.
- Look, I hate that this is happening,
but Douglas was seriously underfunded.
If the PTA raised enough money
to make it a fancy charter school,
well, maybe everything will be better.
- So you're hoping that throwing a bunch of money
at a school over a weekend
will fix decades of systemic inequality and neglect?
- I'm hoping...
And...
I'm also going to check it out myself today.
Make sure it's good enough for our kids.
- And if it's not?
- Well, I'm going to fight for them.
Even if it means standing up to you know who.
- Jade? - Where?!
I mean, where? Pfft.
I mean, I'll be fine.
- Yeah, because I'm going with you, to Douglas.
I want to make sure they actually fix things
before they send us back.
- DeVante, you've got class. - I'm walking to your car now.
- Ooh, shotgun. I mean, I'm driving.
I mean, can I drive? Is that okay?
- Hey, Jamie. How are you holding up?
- I'm hanging in there.
- What the hell? I'm not dead.
- No, but you're leaving.
What am I supposed to do?
Text you? Call you?
Hang out after school and on the weekends
because we're kids and we have no obligations?
- Yeah. And I'm still here for another six weeks.
- Come on, there's got to be a way
you can stay at Bayside.
What if you move to the Palisades?
There's a house for sale in my neighborhood.
The floorplan is kind of claustrophobic,
but I know a great contractor.
- I can't afford a house.
I can't afford Spotify without commercials.
- Well, what if you just say live at my house?
- No, that's illegal.
Please just chill. - I can't chill.
My resting body temp is 102. I'm like a Labrador.
I go to class but I will miss you.
- Bro, I cannot with Jamie. Why is everybody tripping?
It's not that big of a deal. - It isn't?
'Cause last time I checked, you love it here.
You're the quarterback of the football team,
and you're so popular,
the Bayside "Bugle" has a weekly feature called,
"Aisha, she's just like us."
- Okay, obviously, I'd rather stay,
but it's out of our hands.
They sent us here, and now they're sending us back.
- Oh, that's a helpful attitude.
Let's just all give up, kick back,
and light a fat doobie in Toddman's office.
Who cares? - No, Daisy, don't give up.
If you smoke a fat doobie in Toddman's office,
you'll be expelled.
Also, that's a really uncool way to describe
that [indistinct] herb.
- I'm not giving up. It was a joke.
- Oh, okay.
Awesome, cool and don't care either way.
- Anyway, I'm off to City Hall. Ever heard of
the William's Uniform Complaint Procedures form
for educational code section 35186?
- Would you believe no?
- Well, it's our golden ticket out of this mess.
According to Roberta at the California Department
of Education, if you file this form
within 60 days of a charter application approval,
it triggers an investigation of the said institution.
- I know this is really important, but I'm so bored.
- I thought the 60 days had passed,
but turns out today is the last day.
- Whoa, that's spooky. - Not spooky.
I lit hella candles at church this weekend.
- Makes sense. - All I have to do is get down
to City Hall and file this bad boy by 3:00 p.m.,
and Douglas 2.0 becomes Douglas two point no.
- Did you just think of that? - No.
I thought of it last night and wrote it down on my hand.
- * Calories don't count on your birthday *
Ohh--uhh!
OH...no!
- That was undeniably hilarious.
- I know, and I hate Spencer.
But nothing seems funny anymore.
- Right? I've been in an Uptown Funk
ever since I found out Daisy and everybody's leaving.
But why? Nothing bad is happening to me.
- It's called empathy, Mac. I have it too now.
- Empathy. Did I get it from you?
Did we... I mean I would.
- Yeah, of course, anytime, anywhere, but no.
I think it's because when you spend time with people
who are different from you,
you start to see the world through their eyes.
And once you opened your heart, you can't close it again.
- Like a Capri Sun or Yoo-hoo. No, those have caps.
Like a Capri Sun. - Yes.
And much like that metaphor, it sucks.
We're going to keep feeling like this
unless we do something to help.
- Can anyone help me?
- You're like the world's worst person.
- No, bro, shut up!
- Santa Monica freeway--more like Santa Monica parking lot.
[chuckles]
[rock music on radio]
Well, at least if you're at Douglas,
you won't have to sit in this every day.
- That's true. I mean, on one hand,
I'm being forced to leave all of my new friends
in the school where I was really starting to thrive.
But on the other, I will be avoiding some traffic.
- Hey, you hungry?
We could stop at McDonald's, get a Fillet-O-Fish.
- Nah. - Do you not like
Fillet-O-Fish?
Because I have a buy-one-get-one coupon
for Fillet-O-Fish.
If you'd rather have a burger,
well, then you can just put some ketchup on it.
Tastes almost the same.
- Did you mean what you said?
That you'll fight for us?
- Of course.
Look, when you kids came to Bayside,
you became my students.
It's my job to fight for you.
- [laughs] Sure. - What?
- I mean, you didn't.
When Taylor's mom was trying to get me expelled,
you were all like, "Okay, okay, let's put a pin
in this and circle back in the morning."
- That...is...uncanny.
You are an excellent impressionist.
Can you do Jessie?
I did not do enough to protect you.
And I am sorry, but I am telling you,
if it's bad when we get there,
I am not going to roll over.
I'm gonna fight. You have my word.
[construction noises]
- It looks...nice.
- I know, right? - Jade.
- Hello, Ron, DeVante. What a pleasant surprise.
Let me show you around, Douglas 2.0.
- Hello, I need to submit the Williams Uniform Complaint
Procedures form for educational code section 35186.
- Everything seems to be an order here.
- Wow. So that's it. This makes it official.
- I don't work here.
I'm just a pervert with a stamp fetish.
You got to get line over there.
- There's no way I'm getting to the front of the line in time.
- No, there's no way
we're getting to the front of the line in time.
- He means we're here to help.
- So why are we here? What's the plan?
- I don't know guys, it sounds hard.
Maybe we should give up. - I haven't said the plan yet.
Okay, this place closes at 3:00 p.m.
The only way we're going to make it up there in time
is if we can convince all these people
to let us go ahead of them.
- I'm amazing at cutting in line.
Step aside, Daisy, I got this.
And that is how it's done.
Whoa, blast from the past.
I haven't seen you since...Arizona State!
Dave, right? Have you done
something different with your face or body?
- My name is Kevin. Do I know you?
- Oh, no, remember? That was our little
inside joke...yeah, 'cause I actually called you Dave
at that party.
Whose party was it?
It was like that guy was always drinking
all those beers at Arizona State with us.
- Oh, yeah. You mean Ricky? - Yes. How's he doing?
- You know, married, three kids, divorced,
three more kids missing, the usual.
What about you? Tell me everything.
- Excuse me, would you be willing to let us cut you
in line in exchange for a pair of U2 tickets?
- No, thank you.
- Plus backstage passes to meet Bono.
You know, he wrote "A Beautiful Day"
about a day he spent with my dad.
- The answer is still no.
- Would you do it for 5 bucks?
- Ha. Deal.
- If you had one chance to change the world--
- Honestly, if you just stop talking to me,
I'll let you cut in front.
- Okay.
- [quietly] 'Scuse me.
Great.
Now we only got to do that a billion more times.
- So there is going to be a computer lab over here,
a meditation studio over there.
And that is the new theater.
- Hold up, a theater? I mean pssh, it's chill.
Right? You know, zip zap zop or whatever.
- Got to say, this place looks great.
- T-man, is that you?
- D-man, you old son of a biscuit?
I haven't seen you since Principal Con 2010.
- The wildest weekend Omaha's ever seen.
You still remember the principal shake?
- [chanting] Hey, hey, hey,
what is going on here?
- You got time to holler at your boy?
- DeVante, is it okay? - Sure, Mr. T, it's cool.
We can continue the tour. Just one second.
And recording.
- Oh-- - Why don't you go ahead
and show me the squash courts?
- I got your text. What's going on?
- So, I thought about what you said,
how I needed to be more chill.
And I thought what better way to be chill
than to chill together for the rest of our lives.
- No, no, no, no. - Come on out, boys.
[upbeat music]
- No, boys, go back in.
- * Aisha, you are the girl that I never had *
* And I want to get to know you better *
* Aisha, you know I want you so bad *
* I guess there's nothing anyone can do *
* To keep me away from you *
- Aisha, this has been the best month
and a half or whatever of my life.
Will you make me the happiest dude in homeroom
and marry me?
- No, this is insane. Get up.
- It's not that insane.
I mean, I love you.
And if we were married, we'd have the same address
and you could stay at Bayside.
I thought that's what you wanted.
- I do, but-- - She said "I do"!
- No, I don't.
I'm tired of people making decisions for me.
I didn't decide to come here, and I didn't decide to leave.
And now you're just deciding that we should get married.
- I know this is crazy, but we have to do something.
- No. I have to do something.
- Was it the dance? - Oh, no Colt,
you guys were flawless, really.
- I'm done being chill. I'm ready to fight.
- Oh, just don't hit the face. - No.
I mean, I don't want to get sent back to Douglas.
- Well, I don't want that either.
You're my star quarterback.
- Well, there has to be something that you can do.
What about an athletic transfer or a popularity scholarship?
I mean, everybody do love Aisha.
- They do, and I thought about an athletic transfer,
but problem is football season's over.
It's impossible.
- We've been doing impossible things all season, Coach,
and I'm not leaving this office until we have a plan.
- Okay.
Aisha, you know, I'm really proud of you, you come such a--
- Less crying more thinking.
- You got it.
- We made it, and with one whole minute to spare.
- Cool. So, take a quick five?
I'm kind of an introvert. I recharge by being alone.
- Oh, my God, it's you, Dean from the coffee shop, right?
- I don't know who that is or what that is.
My name is Jean.
- Are you sure? You look exactly the same.
- Am I sure I'm me and not another man?
Yes, I'm sure.
- Okay, we're getting sidetracked here.
Point is, Jean, I need to file these forms.
- It's 3:00 p.m. We closed.
- But I was here at 2:59.
We had already started talking.
- The form was not in my hand. - Come on, bro.
We just cut all these people in line just to get to you.
- Save it, Mac, he's just using what little power he has
for his own sick enjoyment.
Like a flight attendant who tells jokes on the PA.
- You think I enjoy this?
Do you realize how many people come in here already mad at me
before we even start our conversation?
Then when I'm done, I got to take the bus
all the way across town
to my other miserable job at the copy shop.
- That's what I said! - No, I said coffee shop.
All so I can make enough money to feed my family.
- Oh, wow. I feel so much empathy for him.
- Daisy, why are you accosting this poor man?
See the world through his eyes.
- Stop having empathy for the wrong person.
Sir, please, my whole future depends on this form.
And not just my future--
- Listen, your whole girl changing the world routine
isn't going to work this time.
- This time? I knew it was you.
- Nope. Still not me.
- So, you ever think about that nympho Denny's waitress
we met back in Omaha?
[laughter]
- I remember her. Whoo!
[both laughing] She actually, uh,
became my wife.
Listen, I have a question for you.
How do you feel about all this new Douglas stuff?
I mean, is it really as good as it looks?
- Is it as good as it looks? Of course not.
But is it at least a step in the right direction?
Also, no.
- Wait, what?
- Oh, you really don't know.
Let me break it down for you, my simple white friend.
You see all these pictures?
About once a decade, somebody comes up with a plan
to fix Douglas.
Donors throw a little money at it,
or a politician gives it a new name.
In 2008, the music teacher went on "Ellen."
That was supposed to help.
What it usually amounts to is a bunch of empty promises.
A pool that never opens
or theater that's always coming soon.
The helpers care about these kids just long enough
to get a pat on the back and their picture taken.
And then they stop caring.
'Cause they already got what they really wanted.
They're over there, and we're over here.
And people like me are left to make up the difference
using our paychecks to buy school supplies
and giving each kid their own handshake so they feel special.
- D-man, I had no idea.
- Now, you may be tempted
to burden me with your guilt about this
in hopes that I will make you feel better, but I will not.
Tic Tac?
- Hey, Mr. T! Free swag!
- Oh, that was so annoying.
- Yeah, that Uber driver would not shut up
about how much he loves America.
Oh, the City Hall thing sucked too.
- It didn't just suck. You don't get it.
It's over.
It's nice that you feel bad,
but in six weeks your life is going to be the exact same.
Me and Aisha and all the other Douglas kids
will be gone, and there's nothing we can do about it.
- Guess who's staying at Bayside?
How'd your thing go? - Bad.
What do you mean you're staying at Bayside?
- Coach Slater and I figured out a loophole.
He awarded me the Tiger Woods Ex-wife Scholarship
for Faithful Female Golfers.
All I got to do is play golf this spring,
not bring up anybody's marriage,
and I can stay until I graduate.
- What? So, you're just going to abandon me?
- You told me to fight, so I fought.
You can do the same thing.
I'm sure that we can find a way for--
- Even if we could, what about DeVante?
Or all the other Douglas kids getting screwed over by this?
You know what?
I thought I changed things around here, but I didn't.
The only thing that happened was that this place changed us.
It made you selfish and me a quitter.
[both speaking Spanish]
- Uh-oh, they're yelling in Spanish.
- Lexi, that's racist just to assume that's Spanish.
- I'm done. I don't want to be here
six more weeks or even six more seconds.
I'm ending my time at Bayside. I give up.
- Daisy!
- She isn't here.
- She wasn't in the library either.
- I checked the girls' locker room.
She wasn't in the showers, but I placed a security camera
in case she comes back.
It's connected to this app on my phone.
- Jesus Christ! [phone clatters]
- We need to find her.
It sounded like she's going to do something really bad.
- Hey, Aisha.
- I can't talk about us right now.
- No, no, no, it's Daisy.
I just saw her running to Toddman's office crying.
- Is that [indistinct] herb?
Oh, my God, are you trying to get expelled?
- Don't come any closer or I'll do it.
- Hey, I have a question.
- Well, there are no stupid questions.
Only stupid askers.
- This feels like it's moving really fast.
Should we maybe just take a beat
and have a larger conversation
about what's best for the kids long-term?
- Uh-oh. I cut through the red tape
and got something done too quickly?
Call the police! Just kidding, they all know me.
- It's just... we can't mess this up.
Kids' futures are at stake.
- Oh, I agree.
But you are the Principal of Bayside,
so you should probably focus on their futures.
Unless you don't want that to be your job anymore.
- Oh, okay, okay.
Maybe we should just put a pin in this and circle...
back in the...morning.
You are a greasy witch.
- Excuse me? - You heard me!
You don't give a damn about Douglas or any of the kids
you're kicking out of Bayside. You just want them gone.
Y-you greasy witch! God damn it.
I can't think of another insult.
I'm so mad!
I should have said this back
when you and your terrible son tried to get DeVante expelled.
But you know what?
I'm saying it right now. You want to do this,
you're going to have to get through me first.
Because so help me God,
I will not let you hurt him or any of my kids ever again,
you greasy witch--damn it.
Oh, what's another word-- - Okay, it's time to go.
Time to go.
You all right Mr. T?
- So, you're just going to rile up a white lady
and leave me here with her?
- I was unhinged back there.
I screamed in a woman's face.
And for what?
They're still going to send you back to that terrible school,
and I probably just lost my job.
Why would I do that?
- For me.
I think someone just earned himself a Fillet-O-Fish.
[brakes screech] All right now,
you're going a little fast.
- I'll do it. I want to get expelled.
- Where'd you even get that?
- There's a pop-up dispenser
in the parking lot of The Max.
- Daisy. I know that you're mad at me,
but don't throw away your future.
- I'm not mad. I'm done.
I put everything I could into changing this place
to make it better, and I failed.
I can't change Bayside. I can't change the world.
I can't even change my own ringtone.
It's "Mr. Bombastic."
- Of course, you've changed Bayside.
I mean, you've changed me.
I just spent my whole day at the White House helping you.
- Three months ago, I didn't even know what helping was.
- We talked about paperwork. I waited in a line.
- Daisy, I rode in an Uber X.
We are not the same people we were when you got here.
- And plus, you helped save DeVante from getting expelled.
And I never would have won that talent show
without you backing me on the upright base.
- And you fought for the Douglas kids
when no one else was.
- And this fight's not over because now
we're the type of people who want to fight with you.
- Yes. - That's right.
- Thanks, I needed that.
And you're right.
The only way we're going to win this
is if we do it together.
- Come here. - I'm so proud of you.
- Oh, I love you guys.
- Hey, Aisha, can we talk about
that sort of insane thing I did earlier?
- No need. I'm perfectly happy pretending that never happened.
- Listen, you know, I love pretending.
I mean, right before you got here,
I was pretending this mechanical pencil
was a big scary needle.
Aah!
Look, I don't want to pretend in our relationship.
I want to be real.
- Okay.
- I've done a pretty bad job of listening to you all day,
but I am finally paying attention.
For example, I can tell that
you don't want to be having this conversation right now.
And I also noticed that you don't mind the idea
of not seeing me every day.
And I noticed that you cringed when I said the word love.
But I can't help how I feel. I do love you.
- Okay, sorry. I did just cringe,
but I really like you, and I'm having fun.
- I know.
But when someone doesn't feel the same way about you
that you feel about them, it's not a good fun.
It's a sad fun, like a...cruise.
- Man, this is over, isn't it?
- Yeah, I think it might be.
- Can I grab your butt one more time?
- Yes. Thank you for asking.
[soft music]
* *