1 00:00:05,804 --> 00:00:07,724 [birds chirping] 2 00:00:11,977 --> 00:00:16,267 - PHIL: I was thinking about how doctors in the Middle Ages used to bleed people. 3 00:00:16,815 --> 00:00:18,105 {\an8}You know, they thought by... 4 00:00:18,693 --> 00:00:21,613 {\an8}cutting the patient and letting them bleed, that they could... 5 00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:23,775 {\an8}pull the sickness out of them. 6 00:00:23,864 --> 00:00:28,084 {\an8}And I think in a way, that was what I was trying to do. 7 00:00:29,412 --> 00:00:30,832 {\an8}When I made that first cut... 8 00:00:31,789 --> 00:00:35,879 {\an8}I could almost feel the wrong being... 9 00:00:36,753 --> 00:00:37,923 {\an8}sucked out of me, 10 00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:41,130 {\an8}and I actually felt high. 11 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:46,256 - [inhaling heavily] Its appeal must be difficult to resist, Phil, 12 00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:48,765 but we know it's just like any other drug, right? 13 00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:50,771 We've been chasing it for years now 14 00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:53,349 but the high's never been the same nor the relief. 15 00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:55,645 - Yeah, that's true. - DR. M: It's your time, Phil. 16 00:00:56,439 --> 00:00:58,189 Anything else you would like to share? 17 00:00:59,651 --> 00:01:00,941 [sniffles] 18 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,320 - I'm good. 19 00:01:02,403 --> 00:01:04,283 - You cut yourself for fun, I wouldn't say you are good, dude. 20 00:01:04,363 --> 00:01:05,953 - Leave him alone. 21 00:01:07,074 --> 00:01:09,034 - Does she tie your shoes, too, Phil? - DR. M: Chad. 22 00:01:09,410 --> 00:01:11,870 We're a non-confrontational therapeutic group. 23 00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:14,294 Treat others as you yourself want to be treated. 24 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,254 - OK. 25 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:18,795 - JANE: Diarrhea of the mouth is a real sickness, huh, Chad? 26 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,918 - DR. M: All right, enough. Enough, every one. 27 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,634 Jane, I don't want you to handle that now. 28 00:01:24,634 --> 00:01:27,604 - Well, I can't think of anything positive to say right now. 29 00:01:27,679 --> 00:01:30,429 - Come on, you've been such a strong presence here, anything. 30 00:01:34,769 --> 00:01:35,689 - OK. 31 00:01:38,189 --> 00:01:39,399 I'm a planner. 32 00:01:40,608 --> 00:01:43,938 And if I can't see what's ahead of me, I lose my shit, which is... 33 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:46,284 probably why I'm in here. 34 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:51,407 Life is impossible to plan, so I'm constantly losing my shit. 35 00:01:54,121 --> 00:01:57,291 I come from a family of--of suicides. 36 00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:00,751 My grandmother, my father... 37 00:02:02,129 --> 00:02:03,169 and now me. 38 00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:08,472 But you don't need to know any of that. What you need to know is... 39 00:02:09,387 --> 00:02:13,597 when I get on that plane tonight, I will never arrive home. 40 00:02:15,351 --> 00:02:16,601 My body will but... 41 00:02:17,395 --> 00:02:22,225 the airy part of me, my soul, if you must, will not. 42 00:02:25,236 --> 00:02:28,566 When the lights go down and everyone nods off to sleep, 43 00:02:28,656 --> 00:02:30,906 I will unbuckle my seatbelt, 44 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,285 make my way to the lavatory, 45 00:02:35,538 --> 00:02:37,418 take a handful of oblivion 46 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:41,501 and just sleep forever. 47 00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:43,206 - DR. M: Jane? 48 00:02:43,504 --> 00:02:44,384 [thud] 49 00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:48,545 Is everything OK? If you wanna say something? Last chance. 50 00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:53,812 - Yeah... 51 00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:56,136 Um... 52 00:02:57,769 --> 00:02:58,729 [scoffs lightly] 53 00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:00,653 I'm gonna miss your faces. 54 00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:05,105 They saved me, more than once. 55 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:09,662 And for that, I'm forever grateful but... 56 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:12,530 I don't wanna ever be here again. 57 00:03:13,868 --> 00:03:17,038 And that's not to say that I don't want to see any of you guys again, I just... 58 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,670 not here. 59 00:03:26,798 --> 00:03:28,258 - Get a room, ladies. - GIRL: Shut up! 60 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,261 - Chad... 61 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,139 [speaking indistinctly] 62 00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:40,097 - No, no, no, I'll be there, OK? It's far too late. 63 00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:43,226 - Mom, please don't pick me up. I'll just take an Uber. 64 00:03:43,314 --> 00:03:45,654 - WOMAN: Jane, just don't argue with me, OK? 65 00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,443 I'll be there. It's New York. It's not safe that late at night. 66 00:03:48,903 --> 00:03:51,413 I have a great day planned for us in New York. 67 00:03:51,489 --> 00:03:54,579 We'll go to that chocolate shop, you remember that? Serendipity? 68 00:03:54,951 --> 00:03:56,871 Frozen hot chocolate with your dad? 69 00:03:59,121 --> 00:03:59,961 Jane? 70 00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:05,455 - I know, it's... 71 00:04:06,838 --> 00:04:08,168 It's my fault, Mom. 72 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,255 You're just being good to me, you've always just been good to me, 73 00:04:12,343 --> 00:04:16,473 I'm just so-- I'm... useless, I'm so fucking useless. 74 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:20,806 - Jane, look, please, just-- It's OK. - Look, Mom, I gotta go. 75 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:24,437 - WOMAN: Please don't go. - OK, but, I, I love you. 76 00:04:25,189 --> 00:04:26,569 Always remember that. 77 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,864 ["Smother" sung by Daughter] ♪ I should go now quietly ♪ 78 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:36,115 I looked in my mother's eyes this morning knowing that what I was about to do to her 79 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,080 would be so much worse than what he did to me. 80 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:44,417 I thought my father a narcissist for leaving me. 81 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,878 But this girl I see before me, 82 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,013 she understands him. 83 00:04:52,884 --> 00:04:57,514 And yet it's the pain I feel now is what he felt. 84 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:01,104 ♪ ...Meet my creators ♪ 85 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,980 I have to forgive him. 86 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:11,613 ♪ ...That I'm a suffocator ♪ 87 00:05:12,194 --> 00:05:15,954 ♪ ...Suffocator ♪ 88 00:05:16,156 --> 00:05:19,906 ♪ ...Suffocator ♪ 89 00:05:20,077 --> 00:05:23,037 ♪ ...Suffocator ♪ 90 00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:33,221 [Dr. M speaking indistinctly] 91 00:05:34,258 --> 00:05:36,678 Deep breaths, what's up? What's going on? 92 00:05:37,512 --> 00:05:41,062 - MAN: Ladies and gentlemen flight 270 to Albuquerque, New Mexico... 93 00:05:41,223 --> 00:05:44,353 [cell phone ringing] 94 00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:46,944 - WOMAN: Let's keep the line moving people. 95 00:05:48,439 --> 00:05:50,269 [indistinct chatter] 96 00:05:50,441 --> 00:05:52,441 [scanner beeping] 97 00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:54,400 - MAN: I've got it. 98 00:05:55,446 --> 00:05:59,616 - Looks like our CrossFit's paying off. - ...Stop it! 99 00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,244 - Oh, he's embarrassed! 100 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,458 I'm sorry, we just got engaged. 101 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:08,165 - Oh, it's beautiful. - Oh, thank you. 102 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,920 It was at his mom's, but I had it reset 103 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:12,460 [whispers] ...with a much bigger stone. 104 00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:14,970 [scanner beeping] 105 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,260 - Something in your pockets? 106 00:06:17,719 --> 00:06:19,429 Your belt buckle? - No, it's the jacket. 107 00:06:19,595 --> 00:06:23,555 - We're getting married on a mountain top on New Year's Eve. 108 00:06:23,725 --> 00:06:24,765 [indistinct chatter] 109 00:06:24,976 --> 00:06:26,056 - That sound's nice. 110 00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:28,435 - MAN: There's so many zippers on this thing. 111 00:06:29,438 --> 00:06:31,358 [scanner beeping] 112 00:06:32,984 --> 00:06:34,944 - Wow, I don't know what else... 113 00:06:37,989 --> 00:06:39,029 - Do we have a problem, miss? 114 00:06:39,323 --> 00:06:42,913 - Um... my flight is boarding. - Let me see your boarding pass, please. 115 00:06:44,412 --> 00:06:45,582 It says 5:00 PM here. 116 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,916 You have plenty of time. Please wait in the line. 117 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,340 - I can't. - MAN: What do you mean you can't? 118 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,128 [indistinct chatter] 119 00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:55,383 - Miss? 120 00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:59,545 - Hey, it's all good, man. 121 00:07:00,762 --> 00:07:01,802 She can go ahead. 122 00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:04,927 I'm holding up the line, it's my fault. 123 00:07:10,312 --> 00:07:13,822 So, forgot about my keys, sorry, man. It has pockets everywhere. 124 00:07:13,942 --> 00:07:16,032 [cell phone ringing] 125 00:07:34,629 --> 00:07:36,669 [breathing heavily] 126 00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:40,644 - Oh, shit, shit, shit! 127 00:07:43,638 --> 00:07:44,508 Breathe. 128 00:07:45,222 --> 00:07:46,562 [exhales] Five... 129 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,226 Four, three, 130 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,311 two, one. 131 00:07:50,645 --> 00:07:53,015 [cell phone ringing] 132 00:07:57,735 --> 00:07:58,605 Hey, Dr. M. 133 00:07:58,694 --> 00:08:00,994 - DR. M: Jane, Jane, I have a situation here at Life House 134 00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:02,492 I have Kara here with me 135 00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,743 and she's suggesting that you're planning on doing something. 136 00:08:04,826 --> 00:08:05,696 Is that correct? 137 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,365 - Kara, she can't sleep when I'm not there, you know that. 138 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,871 Why don't you ask her about that? 139 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,996 - Is that true what she's saying that you can't sleep? 140 00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:13,633 Are you trying to keep her from living, Kara. 141 00:08:14,169 --> 00:08:16,549 OK, OK, Jane, listen to me, I'm concerned. 142 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,089 I want you to wait at the airport for me. 143 00:08:18,173 --> 00:08:20,223 I think we should speak in person before you fly home. 144 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:23,929 - Dr.--Dr. M, I wish I could. I just-- It's Kara, 145 00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:26,352 you know what she's like, she's not in her right mind. 146 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:29,060 She's a liar, she's a compulsive liar. She doesn't want me to leave 147 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,062 because she's not loved herself. 148 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,270 [Kara breathing heavily] 149 00:08:34,271 --> 00:08:38,611 - KARA: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 150 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:42,401 - Um... Uh, Dr. M... 151 00:08:43,531 --> 00:08:45,241 I gotta go, I gotta go. 152 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,492 My flight is boarding. Fuck! 153 00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,621 [Kara screams] 154 00:08:50,705 --> 00:08:51,955 Fuck. 155 00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,671 [glass shattering] 156 00:08:57,962 --> 00:08:59,922 - I hate you! I hate you! 157 00:09:03,718 --> 00:09:06,258 - Fuck, fuck, fuck! 158 00:09:22,486 --> 00:09:23,356 [door opens] 159 00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:24,315 - MAN: Hello? 160 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:30,405 Hello? 161 00:09:34,665 --> 00:09:36,125 [knock on the door] 162 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,089 Is everything OK? 163 00:09:44,008 --> 00:09:44,838 - Whoa! 164 00:09:44,926 --> 00:09:46,716 - What are you doing in here? 165 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,136 - I'm sorry but the better question is what are you doing in here? 166 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,312 This is the mens' room.