There is a light that shines
in the distant cosmos.
Many points of energy sharing a common mind and purpose,
but each possessing our own free will.
We are the Alterian Collective,
ascended beyond physical limitations.
We know not hunger, nor strife.
We are harvesters of data, shepherds of knowledge.
We want your lives and hear your stories.
Our favorites are the sexy ones.
Expedition log 2120.
My research team has followed me to the ends
of the charted galaxy on a quest to kill a god.
Today, our vessel, The DeJorge, touches down
on the fourth moon of Thanagar.
Just easing her in now.
Maybe wanna grab onto something.
We've arrived at the Temple of the All Mother,
where this whole cosmic course began.
And here it will end.
Oh, ooh.
Professor Dara'Tel Quenthosz, end log.
Air is breathable, with gravity at .9951.
No reading on noxious gases or bacteria.
Excellent, Pim.
We'll touch ground in five.
Give the receiver a chance to pick up any stray particles
that might be floating around here.
Looks like the high country back home.
Looks can be deceiving, Pim.
This is the boondocks of the galaxy,
and no one's been out here for millennia.
Keep an eye on those readouts.
I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
Ready for class, Professor.
It's more of a field trip, Marion.
I was not aware that there was a weapon aboard this ship.
Well, Daddy told me to come prepared.
You know Daddy.
I see.
Pack a full medi kit.
We'll be tackling a thick bush.
Yeah, sure thing.
We touch ground in five, you two.
I think it's nice.
Perimeter is secure, with a beacon at every click.
Yeah, and we're working the lower levels,
but they appear to open to a crude tunnel system.
Goddess knows how far those run.
Professor?
Yes. Only the Goddess knows for now.
Secure them as best as you can for now.
We'll explore them later.
Now leave me.
Leave me!
Sure thing, Professor.
I have traveled to the far reaches of the charted galaxy,
and drained all of my project's funding chasing a legend.
What do I find?
Could there be just a bit of magic in the universe?
Hello there.
What are you, little one?
Are you a semi-intelligent fungus?
Are you a little highly evolved bacteria?
I think you are.
That was interesting.
Should we try that again?
Oh.
Yes, I would want it.
Oh.
Come to me, Professor.
Yes, yes.
You're really working that human form, Maxy.
I don't know.
I'm honored that they chose me for the squadron,
but humans are so much maintenance.
The teeth alone.
And don't get me started on the holes.
These humans have at least a dozen of them,
each with a different function.
Yet, here you are.
I don't know. I'm still getting used to it.
It's a huge adjustment.
Did you hear about the type five pulse event
that just happened in Gamma Sector?
Gamma Sector? There's nobody out there.
A type five, for real?
That's what's coming through the data feed.
Yeah, I can feel it.
Oh well.
There's no way they would give us type five anyway.
Not with that attitude.
That assignment will go to a senior collector.
We won't get so much as a type two
Jillaxian Diddler on our first run.
Cosmic perv alert.
This looks like a job for Collector 4878 Maxy Prime
and her intrepid auxiliary
and the real brains of the outfit, Gab-E Jinx.
You're sticking with that form?
I'm still working it out.
But, it is pleasing, utilitarian,
and it only has three holes, I think.
Collector 4878, Auxiliary 8127,
report to council chambers immediately for assignment.
Can you guess why we summoned you here?
I heard about the type five, but it can't be that.
It is indeed.
What? No, there must be some mistake.
The Alterian High Council is an ageless cosmic tribunal.
We have seen the birth and death of entire star systems
while evolving into points of pure energy.
We do not make mistakes.
You would know that if you weren't so newly formed.
Right.
So why are you sending me to investigate a godlike energy
pulse in the far reaches of the galaxy?
We have the utmost faith in you, Collector 4878.
I'm here too.
And the orgy wars of Crimulan Seven have depleted
our reserves of collectives for the time being.
Yeah, I've noticed it was a little quiet around here.
So we are relying on you to investigate
the situation and gather intelligence,
remembering always the Alterian credo.
Touch not, lest ye be touched.
Correct, Collector 4878.
I see our faith in you was not ill-founded.
Three cheers then for the collector,
and this other one.
Were we just dismissed?
I don't know. These guys give me the creeps.
Let's just go.
Ah.
Come on.
Hey, Maxy, have you ever been out this far?
No.
They say only outlaws and long-haul freighters
ever pass through here.
Do you think we'll find something of interest?
Nothing too sexy, or they never would have sent us.
Coming in range now.
Boosting in two, one.
Hey, Maxy, do you think things'll get physical down here?
I'd say that's a distinct possibility, yes.
I mean, that kinda physical.
I'd say that's a distinct possibility, yes.
I thought so.
Is that okay? It's what we trained for.
Yeah, I'm just excited is all.
I know what you mean.
Boosting in two, one.
And, a little nervous.
Well, there's a first time for everyone, even an Alterian.
Are you ready to boost now?
Yes.
In two, one.
What if I don't like it?
Or, what if I like it too much?
I think the important thing is to remember
your training, Gab-E.
You were put on this mission for a reason.
The High Council has faith in you,
but you need to have faith in yourself as well.
You're right, Maxy. I'm gonna be the best at sex.
That's the spirit, Gab-E.
Boosting in two, one.
I'm gonna have all the sex.
Professor?
Um.
Professor, it's past 11.
Don't you think we should be starting our day?
Did you sleep here last night?
Yes, Marion, thank you.
I was overtaken by the rich Thanagarian culture of the place
and wanted to immerse myself in it.
An opportunity we should all take while we're here.
Of course, Professor.
But, don't you think you should um?
Yes, Marion, thank you.
Are Jeetz and Pim awake as well?
No.
They slept in.
Together.
Well, fetch them and clear out the commissary.
We'll be here for breakfast in no more than 15 paraclicks.
I'm famished.
Marion, this is a new world.
And we are pioneers.
Pioneers don't stand blubbering in the hall.
Pioneers clear out the commissary and serve breakfast
for the new gods every damn day.
Now go, Marion.
Run!
What a glorious plurality.
Would you look at this relic?
This is someone else's property, and we're trespassing.
No, it belongs in a museum.
Look, the controls are touch activated,
and it runs on ion hyper clusters.
Primitive.
Right? A classic.
Do you wanna activate the fusion chambers?
All you do is flip a couple switches and pull this lever.
No, stop. Don't touch that.
Let's take it for a spin.
No, stop stop stop. This is not why we're here.
Mm.
You know, we're not really doing the best on rations.
I wanted to install a stasis garden this morning.
But, we didn't quite get to that.
Well, we were all worn out from the journey.
I think we really needed the extra time in bed.
We were in cryo sleep for two months.
We had a busy night last night.
In fact, we got real busy.
I feel drained, and I know Jeetz is.
How could you, Jeetz?
I thought we were life mates.
We are. I don't even know what happened.
I hate you, Jeetz Axelrod!
That's a real pathetic way of bonding, guys.
I don't think any of this is funny.
Oh, get over it, Jeetz.
Is she even qualified to be on this expedition?
Well, her parents are significant contributors
to the sanctorum.
I'm sure you've visited the Alvudo Deep Space Observatory.
Ah, gotcha.
Still, though, doesn't she seem a little unhinged
to be toting around a blaster?
Well, seems like a big deal to her,
and I don't foresee any negative consequence.
Now that we've all regained our strength,
we will begin moving our things into the temple.
We will make this our home for the duration of the
expedition.
Jeetz?
Is that you?
If you think I'm packing up your shit
for the temple, you're clearly mistaken.
That shuttle has left the dock!
Jeetz?
Who the hell are you?
I'm Gab-E Jinx. Pleased to meet you.
Ooh, you're cute.
I'll blast you.
Please, we mean you no harm.
We're pilgrims to the temple, and we've lost our clothes.
Can you help us?
Have you fools installed the comm systems yet?
Yeah, Pim is on it now.
And I have noticed your language become
gradually more abusive throughout the day.
Have you?
That surprises me.
And I don't think the Scholastica Infinitum
would like the idea of us using our comms
to barter for food.
Priorities must shift as necessity dictates.
If our rate of consumption continues in this manner,
the stasis gardens won't do.
I just wish we were involved in some of these decisions.
Yeah, when are we gonna get a turn
with the pleasure beast?
You barely let us touch it all day.
Is it my fault the beast favors me?
Perhaps it senses my superior intellect.
Blow it out your ass.
Breaker, breaker, you've got
Blue Hugh Mongous on the side.
Ooh, we got a live one.
What are you hauling, Blue?
On my way to Therax Beta,
with a full tanker of soylent paste, come on.
That'll work just fine, Bluey.
Sorry, what'll work? Come on.
If that husky voice is any indication of the caliber
of stud I'm dealing with, you might just scratch me
right where I itch.
How's that grab you?
Dang, Miss, that's a real tempting offer,
but I got a schedule to keep.
Why do they call you Hugh Mongous?
Now that's a personal question.
Maybe someday, if I get to know you better.
You need to bring that sexy ass of yours
to the fourth moon of Thanagar, for some downtime.
Some all the way downtime,
if you catch my meaning, big boy.
Oh, ho ho, I don't know.
You seen nice and all, but...
You got optics on that thing?
Yeah, top of the line, come on.
All right.
You like what you see, Blue?
Yeah, sure do.
Ooh, baby, you got more twists than a Cenerian cyclone.
Well then, why don't you park that big tanker
of protein slurry and come on over?
Oh yeah.
Yay!
What are we all celebrating?
Your teammates were able to active the comm system
and arrange for provisions to be delivered.
Well, that's good to hear,
especially with how much you've all been eating.
Well hard work builds an appetite, Marion.
Now, who have you brought into my temple?
Your temple, Professor?
My temple, my dig site, you get the idea.
Meet my friends, Maxy and Gab-E.
They are on a pilgrimage.
Bitchin' top.
I got one just like it.
Right.
They didn't have any clothes, so they had to borrow ours.
What? That's my daxin reverb top?
Sorry, Pim.
But, hey, I figured we're trying to get
to know the indigenous population.
After all, we thought this moon was abandoned, right?
I mean, when I found them,
they were naked and shameless.
Yes, very interesting.
Please see to it that they are well tended.
Now if you'll excuse me, I will retire to my quarters.
Guys, these are my classmates, Jeetz and Pim.
We are on a research grant from our university
to study your goddess and how great she is.
Or isn't.
Marion, can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Anything you've got to say to me,
you can say in front of my friends here.
Really?
Anything I could possibly have to say to my life mate
I can say in front of these two strangers
you met 15 paraclicks ago?
Sure, why not?
Okay, well,
when I was making love to Pim, I didn't think of you once.
I feel terrible about that, but it's the truth.
Oh God, it was like fucking a five-alarm fire.
I was really in the moment,
like I haven't been in ages with you.
How could you say that in front of all these people?
Because I want to understand, Marion.
I want to know why.
I love you, Marion!
So are you like the mongrel stud around here?
We came in search of a strong presence of a sexual nature.
But you're not it.
Hey, I do all right.
I'm sure you do, and I would have you soon,
but you are not the presence we seek.
It is nearby, though.
You know something. You've seen it.
Listen, Maxy, is it?
You wanna see something?
I would like that, yes.
You come with me. I'll show you something.
And don't worry about her.
My buddy Jeetz is gonna show her something too.
Something she won't soon forget.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah, I think I gotta do something a little
different to get his attention.
So, Pim just talks big, you know.
I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me.
Marion is actually my...
My li...
My friend and I are here to collect
erotic intel and experiences.
I understand that not all species may share
in erotic experiences freely.
If your bond with Marion prevents you from sharing with me
in an erotic manner, please accept this handshake
as a token of my regard.
That was a direct quote from the Alterian Code
of Interspecies Fornication, Article Three.
Are you okay?
This was a sacred place to the ancient Thanagarians.
Yes, I can see that.
I was hoping, maybe,
you could help us decipher some of this.
You are from this system, aren't you?
In a way, yes.
Is it your religion?
Does it vibe with what you know about the All Mother?
You guys can bunk here tonight.
It's not long on comfort, or charm.
The shaman wasn't much of an artist.
Arms are kinda noodly.
And I can't tell if she's hugging them or strangling them.
Tentacles everywhere. Very erotic.
You really seem to be into that. Yeah.
Very enlightening.
Yes, I figured they were significant in your religion.
Of course.
Give you any ideas?
Very stimulating.
Good, because there's more.
Hey, Gorgeous.
Why so glum?
You know why I'm glum.
Jeetz and Pim are having an affair,
and they're not, not even bothering to hide it.
Ah.
Those two lovebirds can't keep their hands off each other.
Can you do something about it?
You're the professor.
Isn't it against the rules or something?
There's no rules that I know of.
I can't impinge on their rights, Marion.
It's not my place.
In fact, I find it very arousing.
Oh.
Everyone here is a sex maniac but me.
Well, he is the only man on the expedition.
It was bound to happen eventually.
Did,
did you ever?
No.
I mean, I considered it, just for a change of pace.
Jeetz is especially ragged and unkempt, even for a man.
I prefer my playthings pretty
and sweet smelling.
Oh.
Oh, I don't know.
I've never, I've never done that before.
Well, you may as well get used to it.
I think Pim will have your man's attention
for quite some time.
And your new friends, they look curious and hungry.
They may want a turn with him as well.
I suppose I brought that on myself.
Yes, but we can have our own fun.
I
guess.
If it's all I've got for a while.
That's it, Marion.
As they say in the tungsten mines of Arcar Genesi,
love the one you're with.
This does not bode well.
These images harken the return of the All Mother,
the world devourer.
Primitive superstition, merely an ancient
excuse for an orgy party.
The Thanagarian sex eater will reawaken,
just as the prophecies foretold.
And she will usher in oblivion,
the beast which can't be fed.
We must proceed with caution,
lest we endanger our operatives and bring about
the end of the galaxy as we know it.
But you must admit, Council,
the tentacles are universally appealing.
The Goddess is not without her charms,
but the temple is no place for fledgling collectors.
We will pull them from the field
until we have studied the matter further.
And we'll pray on all things erotic
that we are not too late.
I don't dare consider what tortures our agents
have already been subjected to.
I've never met a Thanagarian before.
Are you all mega hotties?
Of course.
Oh, this sure has been a strange expedition.
That's for sure.
Maybe this cavern isn't as secure as we thought.
Let's retire to the surface.
Good idea.
I want you to join me in the Throne Room,
and I want you to wear this.
That's nice.
Do you think it's appropriate for fieldwork?
You want to impress him, don't you?
Clean yourself up and put this on.
Join me at the throne in 20 paraclicks.
We saw some very interesting things
down there, Gab-E, very enlightening.
Do tell.
That was sure nice of them to put us up for the evening.
Yes, we should thank them properly in the morning.
With sexual favors?
Of course.
I slept with a man today.
Yes, Earth slang for sexual intercourse.
I prefer porking.
No, I mean I actually slept with him.
I had dreams and everything.
They were really strange and super kinky.
Alterians don't sleep,
and we have no subconscious in which to dream.
Although I believe I understand the concept.
I think all that sex took it outta me.
I'm bushed.
We're beings of pure energy.
Sex can't take anything out of you.
That's not how this works.
Well how do you know? Have you ever had it?
Yes, just now with the one they call Pim.
Ah.
I guess that counts.
How does it not?
Well, you're a female, she's a female.
And she pleased me and I her.
As they say in the Calomber Casino, dealer's choice.
Please, students.
A bit of decorum.
We have an honored guest joining us.
I see the pod has been well fed in my absence.
Yes, Professor. She especially enjoys her new guests.
I don't know if it's appropriate
you call me Professor anymore.
I feel my duties have shifted,
and with them, so should my title.
We are rebuilding an empire, after all.
Therefore,
Empress Dara'Tel seems only fitting.
Yes, she likes that.
Kneel, my subjects.
Kneel before your empress!
Yes.
Here she is now.
Doesn't Marion have to kneel?
No, fool.
This is my princess.
From now on, you will kneel to her.
None of this is necessary.
Really.
Come forth, Princess Marion.
Take your place at my side.
Marion, look at you. You never looked so hot before.
Shut up, Jeetz. You've had your chance.
We really should talk, baby.
All I can think about is doing you again.
Silence!
Both of you, avert your eyes.
She is royalty now, and you are nothing.
The pod commands it.
What's the pod?
You will know soon enough, my dear.
Come closer.
You'll see for yourself.
I don't know about this.
You've all been acting strange since we got here.
I mean, the professor's on a power trip,
and you two are treating this expedition like
some sort of, sexpedition.
It's freaking me all out!
Should we brace her, Empress?
No.
Let her go.
But I like that you are taking this well, Pim.
Very good.
Empress Dara'Tel seems only fitting.
Kneel before your empress! You are nothing.
Avert your eyes. The pod commands it.
Whoa, this Empress Dara'Tel's off her nut.
Are you getting this? Gab-E?
Yes, the crazy ones make the best lovers.
I'll pursue her first thing in the morning.
Be that as it may, there seems to be more afoot here
than our little sexual side wager.
Maxy, Gab-E, can I come in?
It's me, Marion.
Hey, Marion.
You guys are here.
Hey, Marion.
Everyone in this place is so weird, except for me.
How do you mean?
Well, you two are okay, I guess.
A little dim is all.
You're okay by me too, Marion.
But my research crew, ever since we got here,
they've been acting stranger by the metaclick.
Must be this place.
It's getting to them somehow.
I think you may be onto something.
There's a cavern beneath this temple that I must show you.
You mean the subterranean genesis pools?
Aren't they beautiful?
Yes, but there's something developing there
that we should investigate further.
Bikini time!
Come on, guys.
Bikini time?
I need this.
The pod tires of you.
Fetch me my princess.
Uh, we got company, Empress.
I think it's that soylent paste freighter.
Yes, the slurry to feed our little worker bees
and keep the hive going.
Is he close?
Landing now, Empress.
Pim, prepare for our new guest.
Let's give him what he came for.
Yes, Empress.
Gab-E, are you sure that bikinis are the best garb
for a subterfuge like this one?
Yes, Maxy, it's the perfect cover.
Just a few sassy ladies out for a midnight swim.
Let's go.
The vines are progressing.
The cavern is cracking apart. I can hear it.
Come over here. I'll show you something.
Guys, I don't think it's safe.
Oh, Marion, you bleat like cattle.
No wonder your lover has abandoned you.
That was a little harsh, wasn't it, Maxy?
No, she's right.
If I'm gonna be any good for this team,
I've gotta get it together.
Okay then.
Look there, under the water.
It's these pods that have been dropping from the ceiling.
There must be a dozen of them.
Wow, I see. Let's take a closer look.
Sounds good, guys.
I'll just be up here keeping a lookout.
Thank you, Marion. You do that.
You are really going to enjoy our grotto.
Just up ahead.
Miss, you are very lovely, but I got a freight of slurry
out there that aint getting any fresher.
So, if we could, as they say in the Grail Star Cluster,
get down to the get down, I'll be on my merry way.
Don't you want a grand tour of our facilities?
Lady, I got eight penises that need satisfaction.
This is gonna take long enough as it is.
So I suggest we get down to brass tacks.
Pim, do we have a new guest?
You got the king of the cosmic convoy, Blue Hugh Mongous.
How enchanting.
Captain of my tub.
I'm Dara'Tel.
Ooh, ah.
Pleasure.
Yeah.
I would like to welcome you to our newest attraction here
at the Thanagarian bordello.
Now.
You just sit down, get comfortable and enjoy the show.
Ooh, ah.
We got pods.
Quiet.
Dara'Tel and Pim are over with some
freighter pilot they lured here.
I got one for you too, Marion, so we can each have one.
Thank you, Gab-E.
Please.
Be quiet.
Marion, these friends of yours are very interesting.
Okay, I have no idea where this is going now.
I'd venture a guess that it's going somewhere sensual.
What are you guys?
All will be explained in time.
Ooh, how lucky are we today?
Our body heat has attracted some native one.
Oh, hey now, what are these squishy little critters?
Impudent cur!
How dare you kick the seeds of a god?
What she means to say is, this is a protected species.
Is that a fact?
This is a Thanagarian pleasure pod.
Just give it a little tickle,
and it'll give you all the feels.
I don't want no funny stuff. Just girls, and lots of them.
What do I look like, some kinda freak?
Just tickle the damn pleasure pods, you ugly squid.
All right, okay. You don't need to get ornery now.
Doesn't it feel good?
Not bad. Not so bad at all.
Would you like to try another?
Ooh.
Maybe just one more.
Woo, woo, oh, woo.
Another.
Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa.
Whoa.
Blue Hugh Mongous?
You finally found me after all these miles.
Blue Hugh Mongous,
do you like my babies, Blue Hugh Mongous?
Oh, too many for old Blue.
Whoa, ho.
Whoa, come on, come on down!
See, Pim, that's why I don't fool around with males.
No stamina.
Oh.
Should we do something about our friend here?
Oh, whatever. He was a dick anyways.
Are we still talking about him?
Oh shit, I love these pods.
Did you see that?
I think they just killed that guy.
Maxy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
We share a hive mind.
So yes.
Hey, cutie.
Are you trying to cheer me up?
Who's the precious little pod?
All right, the coast is clear,
so let's just walk in business.
I'll see you in our room.
Oh God. Why can't I bounce?
My darling Pim, if I didn't know any better,
I'd say you were sweet on our large blue friend here.
Eh, I've done worse.
Hello.
Oh.
If I can't bounce, what can I do?
Marion, the professor,
Empress, has been looking for you.
Professor Empress knows where to find me, doesn't she?
No, I think that was the issue.
Well, I'm right here.
I see that.
And?
What about you?
Did you still wanna have that little chat?
Do I ever.
Well then why don't you come over here
and tell me what you've gotta say?
Is someone there?
Auxiliary 8127, do you read me?
It is I, Alterian High Council the First.
Do I know you?
Not in this form, but we have met in the council chambers.
The High Council was concerned that you and Maxy
were in over your heads, and I'm here to help.
Okay, what's your designation?
You know, in all the commotion, we failed to assign one.
I haven't been in the field in so long.
Hey, since you're a member of the High Council,
we can call you Hi-Co.
Hi-Co.
I like it.
These visitors, where do they come from?
I figured they were locals.
I couldn't imagine either of those two dipshits
piloting a star cruiser.
Nah.
I'm not buying that local yokel story
for a new court paraclick.
No, there's more to these interlopers than meets the eye.
These are ancient beings of great power.
You can tell just by looking at them?
I know this, because the pod knows this.
The pod craves their power, but has used them as well.
We must tread lightly with these strange visitors.
It's just as we suspected.
You're dealing with a godly power here,
and your cover is blown.
Is there somewhere safe we can boost?
I can't boost.
I don't, I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel it too.
Something in this temple is draining our powers.
Here, come close to me.
Ooh, so warm and tingly.
Gab-E, where were you? And who the hell is this?
Alterian High Council the First, field designation Hi-Co.
I couldn't boost. Hi-Co saved me with her power hug.
I must confess, it would have worked with a mere touch
of the hand, but I find your form pleasing
and I took advantage of the situation.
For that, I apologize.
That's okay, Hi-Co. I find your form pleasing too.
Maybe later we can get to know each other better.
I'd like that, Gab-E.
Yeah, well, as they say in the Motel Stars area,
get a room, you two.
But get it somewhere else. We're leaving tonight.
No, we have to stay and fix the damage we've done.
It's funny a High Council member would forget
the Alterian Code of Noninterference.
Yes, Collector Maxy, but you may have noticed
strange activity here recently.
Yeah, you could say that again.
Well these events have been accelerated
by your presence here.
We are in the lair of an ancient beast
that has been feeding off people since we've arrived.
I think I would have noticed if an ancient beast
was feeding off of me.
Have you tried using your powers lately?
The council has been unable to reach you.
Can you connect to them?
I can't.
I can't see anything past the temple.
I can even feel my vast energy slowly dwindle
as the beast grows in power.
What took hundreds of years in empire building
is done in a matter of days with you two
Alterian energy cows loafing around.
Hey.
The energy cow is worshiped as a god in some faiths.
I'll take it as a compliment.
We have to fix the mess we've made.
Can't we just boost back to domicile
and let Marion and the gang sort it out?
They seem like a capable bunch.
The Thanagarian pod beast is a world devourer,
a planet ender.
It won't stop at Thanagar.
It will continue across the galaxy just as it did before
and they'll be nothing left.
We won't be leaving this to Marion and the gang.
We'll destroy this monster, and we'll return
to Alteria for a hero's welcome.
How do you suppose we do that?
We give the bitch what she wants.
Our last union.
Am I supposed to be here?
We seek an audience with the empress.
Wait, there is three of you now?
This is Hi-Co. She's new.
Hi-Co pleases the pod.
Do I?
I don't really know. The pod doesn't talk to me much.
You guys really went to town on that protein slurry.
It's hungry work, building an empire.
This is what you call an empire?
It looks like an outer colony poo hatch den.
This place is straight outer colony.
Hey.
We're getting stronger every day.
You'll see.
Someone is here.
Beast of great and delicious power.
We seek an audience with Her Majesty,
Dara'Tel, the Empress of Thanagar.
First child of the All Mother,
herald to the world eater and voice of the pod.
I'm listening.
Maxy, is it?
Alterian Collective Unit 4878.
Field designation Maxy Prime.
Alterian Collective, you say?
All of you?
You masquerade as common pilgrims.
You think the pod couldn't sniff out your powers,
but we knew you were special
before you even entered this temple.
Such is the glory of the pod.
We Alterians worship great power above all else,
especially that of an erotic and carnal nature.
We sensed the pod's lusty energies from afar,
and we are here seeking union with her.
The Goddess seeks no union.
She only wishes to consume.
And so we shall live on in the belly of the Goddess.
We are beings of pure energy.
As you know, energy cannot be destroyed.
It merely changes form.
It is our place in the cosmic dance.
We are not bound by flesh as you are,
Dara'Tel of the Scholastica Infitum Sanctorum.
The sanctorum is far behind me now.
Here,
I am an empress.
Then grant we fulfill our destiny, Empress.
A union between the pod and the Alterian Collective
could be just the thing to spread her glorious spore
across the expanse of time and space.
The Goddess does not need your union to spread her spore.
But still,
you intrigue the pod.
You will be first.
With honor, Empress.
Uh-uh, uh-uh, hold on.
Slowly.
The pod enjoys a show.
Empress, are we thinking enough is enough here?
No, we will just feel the energy flowing.
The power coursing through the tentacles.
Yeah, I feel it.
It's gonna bring this whole temple down.
Pim, this temple has stood for an eternity,
and it's gonna stand for an eternity longer.
Okay.
I'm just gonna run some trash out to the pile.
Never mind them, my love.
Join me.
As we usher in
a new age.
My Goddess, no!
The pod is dying. We must leave this place at once.
Can you boost? I can't even change form.
Ditto.
It was all the energy I could muster
to overload the beast.
I'm as drained as you are.
There's a twin-ion deep star cruiser
parked just outside the temple.
If we can make that, I can get us into the jump ship.
Then it's home free.
Sounds like a plan. Let's move.
Marion, what's gotten into you?
You did this.
You ruined everything.
It was so beautiful until you Alterians came along.
Your god is dead, Marion, and will soon be buried.
Will you stay here with your empress,
presiding over a pile of rubble?
Or will you come with us?
I don't know.
It's all just so confusing.
Okay, let's grab her and get the hell outta here.
The sun rises again on Thanagar.
Maybe we'll get another 8,000 years of peace.
I wouldn't bet on it, Gab-E.
Well, it was still a good mission overall.
We awakened an ancient, godlike evil
and set it loose in the universe.
How is that a good mission?
We didn't awaken the pod. We exposed it.
We saved the princess, and we got it all cleared up.
No harm done.
We destroyed an ancient temple.
Well sure, but nobody got hurt.
Well, Dara did.
Also, I punched Marion.
And what about that Jillaxian freighter captain?
Oh.
I forgot about him.
Hey, let's leave that out of the report, cool?
Cool as the ice moon on Party Planet Seven.
Ch.
I found a couple stowaways.
Dammit, I'm so easy to sneak up on without my powers.
I don't see anything coming anymore.
What do you say, Captain, to the jettison hatch with them?
Yeah, whatever, those guys are jerks.
Wait, Maxy, you still gotta make it
with a male of the species.
Oh yeah.
I was planning on giving that one the sex.
Well, you can't jettison me quite yet then, can you?
I suppose not.
And we had our fun, the two of us. Didn't we, Maxy?
You don't wanna toss old Pim into space.
We might harvest data from this one yet.
Oh, Gab-E, someone has to man the ship.
You're gonna have to sit this one out.
I never get to have any fun.
Well, since none of our powers have returned,
we have to do this the old-fashioned way.
Yes, it's interesting that none of my life energy
has returned in any significant way.
Those Alterians sure were some hot pieces of cosmic ass.
Yeah.
Hey, why do you think they haven't gotten
their powers back yet?
Probably all the pleasure pods I smuggled aboard
before we took off.
All right, I got a bunch too.
Secrets of the natives
revealed.
Discover the ancient erotic healing
of the Thanagarian shamans, shamans.
In the comfort of your own home or office.
Embark on a sensual spirit quest
with the organic and holistic Thanagarian pleasure pod.
Quantities are limited and going fast.
Such is the glory of the pod.
Order now.
Whoa, ho, let's do that again!