Never in Grit's history have we asked a player to leave
without a tribunal vote.
But there will be no vote today
out of respect for the pygmy tarsier.
Decades ago, these large-eyed mammals traveled
in monogamous pairs,
happily leaping from branch to branch
around this beautiful, unspoiled island.
Then suddenly they disappeared, thought to be extinct,
until last year, when a teeny-weeny pair was found
by scientists.
But now, sadly, just one remains
one single pygmy tarsier is all alone in this world.
Because you, Madi Cooke of Connecticut,
killed the only other in existence.
I thought it was a hairy spider. You are gritless.
It was dark. I felt something crawl on me.
Be gone, Madi Cooke. Be gone.
Okay, just...
Yes, put out the tarsier's teeny-tiny torch
and be gone.
It's just a birthday candle. Be gone, Madi Cooke.
Okay.
Gritless, gritless...
Be gone, Madi Cooke. Be gone.
Gritless, gritless, gritless, gritless, gritless, gritless...
Tomorrow, a new challenge awaits.
Okay.
Madi, are you there? Are you there?
She's not answering.
Madi, are you there? We saw you on the television.
You looked thin.
Why was he mean to you? You killed something?
Professional!
Your father wants to know if that was part of the game.
Sold! Sold! Sold!
I'm Bobbi Mason, and I always beat the competition.
Winner!
Buyers and sellers, call Mason Agents,
where everyone's a winner.
Madi, are you there?
Well, how should I know where she goes?
Gritless, gritless, gritless...
Oh, shit.
No Place Like Home, this is Dorothy speaking.
Alex, I can see you. Nuh-uh. This is Dorothy.
No one named Alex works here or knows Madi Cooke.
Please tell Risa I'm gonna be late.
No. You're a murderer. She doesn't wanna hear from you.
I'm not a murderer, Alex. You are.
You're an ecoterrorist. Tell Risa I'm gonna be late.
You have no idea what's going on here.
You should see what's going on here.
There's a news van out front. What?
Risa said you're not welcome here.
Except she said it all mean
and with lots of curse words. No, she can't fire me.
It was an accident.
Tell her I have six listings. No, you don't.
No, I have a showing coming up later today.
I am coming in. I got a showing today too.
Gritless! Gritless! Gritless! Gritless!
- Gritless! Gritless! - There she is!
Madi, hi...
Please leave. Sorry. I'm really sorry about everything.
I promise you, I really thought it was a spider.
You would have done it too.
It's not as cute in person. It's really scary. Okay.
Madi?
Kylie Jenner speaking.
Alex! Alex! Please tell Risa
she needs to cover my showing, okay?
I can't move my car.
Uh, this is the cops, okay? I'm calling the cops.
Listen, I will not hesitate to use this if I have to!
It was an accident, I told you.
Whoa!
Oh, shit!
Are you okay? You're so mean.
No, I'm not. Yes. Everyone says so.
Who are you supposed to be, a pygmy tarsier?
You gonna hit me with that racquet?
No. Okay?
Anyway, you look more like that creature from that movie.
Gremlins! My boss loves that movie.
He makes me wear this when I hand out fliers.
Where do you work? I work for wise Mr. Lee
at the New Vintage Antiques and Candy Shop,
but please don't call him.
Ugh, it's very expensive.
I'm not supposed to get it dirty. My eye!
Ugh! My eye! I think...
I think I may be able to get it fixed for you.
Can you just...?
Why is nobody answering their phone?
Come on, come on, come on.
How's it going? You didn't text me.
I couldn't. My phone's out there.
Mine is too. Sorry, Kelly.
They're at deuce now.
Okay.
Oh! Never mind. It's ad out.
Bobbi and Rosey are about to win.
Sorry.
She's trying to get in Bobbi's head.
Nothing can get in there.
Agh! Bounce it!
- Out! - What?
She's calling it out?
How? That clearly hit the line. I saw it from here.
We all did. Right, ladies?
We win. Oh--
Goddamn it, Rosey!
I'm telling you, Emily. It was in.
It's out. It's my call. I'm right here. You're not.
Deuce. No deuce.
That was perfect play. We won! You want some proof?
Let's check the phones. That is not a thing.
You're not supposed to have phones out here.
Oh, shush, Sheila.
Check it!
That's you. Oh, it's mine!
Go! Go! Check it!
Hi. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I am the gremlin.
Sorry. Can we--? can we go?
I really need to get to my office.
I know who you are.
You're the killer of that cute little rodent.
My daughter likes tiny things. She cried all night.
Get out of my car, miss. Get out!
Can we please...? I said get out.
Fine!
Goddamn it!
You're gritless! That's what they called you, gritless.
Oh, Philip, hey! God, you look good.
How you doing, Bobbi? Well, I've been better.
The thing is, Philip, you gotta invest in an Eagle Eye.
Why? Did you lose?
Did I lose? No, you Ding Dong.
The only player who can beat me is me.
I'm still looking for my perfect match.
Heh. Hey, did you set up those phones?
I'm getting complaints from other teams.
Well, I have no other choice. They're cheating, so...
But, oh, if we had an Eagle Eye, then they couldn't cheat,
and no one would have reason to complain.
Yeah. The thing is, Bobbi, uh, this isn't Wimbledon.
Well... You really don't need it
for the Dick Duncan Tournament. Okay.
Let's not diss Dick Duncan. I cherish it. You know that.
The Eagle Eye is cost prohibitive, Bobbi.
Okay. Because to do it right,
you need eight cameras
strategically placed around the courts,
and all those cameras are linked to a computer system
that reads all those camera views
and spits out the path of the ball.
And that's just one court. And we've got 20-something.
Mm-hm. So you've thought about it.
No. Yes, you have.
Ha, don't lie to me.
And it doesn't have to be every court.
Just my court, court number one.
You're a smart guy, P.
I don't have to remind you that Mason Agent sponsors,
gosh, what is it now, is it six leagues here?
Six. It's six.
Not to mention all the new residents
that I send skipping your way.
So you promise me an Eagle Eye,
and maybe I'll stop with the phones.
Good to see you, Bobbi. Oh, always just the best.
The best of the best.
You are. No, you are.
Ha, I know!
Ciao! Ciao! Have fun out there.
Fuck my life.
Hey, lady, why are you dressed like that?
Were you at a party or something?
No.
Hey, lady, why does your face look like that?
Why aren't you in school learning your manners?
Why aren't you at work?
Why are you a stupid dummy?
Why are you a stupid bitch?
Mikey!
Oh, Baby Mikey, your mommy's calling.
It's time for you to go home and take a little nappy.
That's not my mom. That's Delphine.
And she's like 19 and hotter than you.
I feel sorry for your mother.
I feel sorry for your mother
and your stupid Gremlin babies.
Mikey!
Well, ha! 'Cause I don't have any babies!
In fact, I don't really have any responsibilities!
I don't even have a job anymore!
You're gonna have a ton of responsibilities one day,
and I feel so sorry for you because it sucks!
Mom?
Could you do something to my hair?
Thanks. And can you also pick me up?
Not too short.
I used to cut your bangs. Remember?
You hated it when I combed your wet hair.
Yeah. Because it used to hurt.
It does right now. Ow! Mom!
I'm sorry. You're so sensitive. Ow!
Where's Dad?
Oh, he's... He's in the car.
Now, he's not gonna leave with all those protesters out there.
So sorry. Don't be.
Your father will talk to them.
And I'm worried, Madi.
You know, they have medicine for depression.
Mom, no. Everyone's on it.
No. No. I am the most hated woman on the planet right now,
I lost my job, and I'm a prisoner in my own home.
I don't think a pill can fix that.
And you haven't had a boyfriend since Steven.
Oh, God. You went on that show
to build confidence. Instead, look what happened.
Hand me the round brush, okay?
Ugh, you call this a brush? Mom!
Anyway, I'm thinking of calling Ollie.
She could always cheer you.
No. What?
What, nothing.
Mom, No. You are not calling Ollie. No.
Now, I'm not finished. But look how nice.
I always loved you with shorter hair.
It gives you a lift.
And so blond.
Madi, you look just like Doris Day.
You're looking at my picture?
It's me. Oh.
I was a very famous ball boy.
Oh.
The most famous ball boy in the world.
Oh, wow.
But, you know, the boy becomes the man,
and balls don't follow.
I'm sorry. What are you here for? The interview?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, this...
This is the real-estate office, right?
Oh, boy. You're gonna do just great.
Just sign in right there.
Oh, sure.
Oh, heh-heh, funny.
I mean, some people dedicate their lives to it,
but, sure, funny.
Sure. Sorry. Of course. Just...
You can just sit-- Sit there.
Okay.
I'll just...
Mason Agents, where everyone's a winner.
That doesn't make any sense, Rosey.
Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.
How are we, Ken? Oh, well--
Oh, ladies. Thank you for coming in.
If you've been here longer than 20 minutes, please do leave.
You've lost the job with your mind.
You see, as the great Dick Duncan once said
to me in person, heh,
your time is as important as anyone else's,
and you should know that.
Good luck out there. I appreciate you.
I'm not leaving. Um, they called me, so...
Heh, well, I've only been here for five minutes.
Quiet, please. Quiet, please.
Sorry.
Get away from the car.
Nym, that's no protester.
That's Ollie. I can't be sure.
Look at her, for God's sakes. It's Ollie. Let her in.
I'm gonna get in.
Hi. Hi. You made it.
Yes. So glad to see you.
You too. Now I remember.
You're the funny kid. Mm.
What happened to you? You don't listen.
She moved to Los Angeles for work
and for that boy Albert,
and she's been there ever since college. Right, Ollie?
Mm-hm. Uh, this whole setup feels very covert.
What exactly are we doing?
Well, I don't know why we're still in the car.
There's no more protesters, Nym. Mm.
This is very exciting. Where is Madi?
She's not even home. Oh.
Oh, how are your parents? They are thriving
at an active older adult community in North Carolina.
Oh. Thank you.
And that boy, Albert?
He is horrible and disgusting.
Stupid fucker!
Kind of weird to be in the back seat
of my best friend's parents' car
20 years after high school. Hm.
New car, but it still smells the same.
Good job, Mr. Cooke. Thank you.
Rosey, are we all set? Yes.
Me don't think so.
The chair, Rosey. The chair.
Sorry. Sorry. Your favorite power play.
Yes. Every time.
She's coming. Quick, quick! Hurry! Come on! Move!
Oh, ha! Oh, would you look at that,
I just sold the Martin house.
Stop! Stop!
But that was quick, even for me.
Hi. Résumé?
Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
Well, median prices are finally inching up.
Median prices?
Okay. You can sit.
Heh, Rosey, why doesn't anyone
ever just grab the damn chair?
I don't know, Bobbi. Put it front of my desk,
and take control of the situation.
It's okay. You're dismissed. No!
No, I was about to. I was just...
mesmerized by your trophies.
Oh, what these? My Double Ds? Yeah.
They're impossible to ignore. Do you play?
Do I play? That's what I just asked, yeah.
Well, let's just say it's how I prepared for this interview.
Hm. That's almost interesting. Expand.
Well, uh... I'm a bit nervous.
But in a good way.
Like, um, ahem, when you're playing
and suddenly you're at match point
and you can just feel the win.
Mm.
But you don't wanna get ahead of yourself.
Rosey, get the chair for Madi, um...
Whoops.
You forgot to put your last name on your résumé.
Oh, ha!
I never put my last name
on my résumé for security reasons.
The dark web? Shh. Say no more. I get it.
But I'll need your last name if you wanna work for me.
Sure. Yeah. It's Sharapova...
klavacki.
Sharapovaklavacki.
With a C and a K? Yeah.
Huh. That's beautiful.
Yeah. I got it. I got it. Thanks.
All right, Madi Sharapovaklavacki,
continue with your story.
I'm at match point, and I'm about to win. Go.
Oh, sure. So, uh, okay. You're about to serve.
Mm. Um, but you take a beat.
Maybe you look at your strings.
Yeah. Maybe I do.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in...
And then I'm ready.
Ooh, I've done this a million times.
Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum.
That's the ball.
My toss is perfect. Heh, what's new?
I feel the strength ripple through my legs into my core.
And Boom! Woof! Daddy, it's in my arms!
And then what happens?
Come on, Madi Sharapovaklavacki!
Uh, but, oh, no! Oh, no! It's your second serve.
I should play it carefully. Why chance it?
I don't know. But then...
something comes over you.
Yeah, it does,
and I smack it hard. Smack!
But the bitch gets to it! Fuck!
But it's a wimpy, off-balance overhead.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! It's the shot I've been fucking waiting for!
I'm gonna come down on it like it's a menacing big...
Spider. Spider.
Penis! Spider penis.
What? What?
Rosey? Oh, the baby's coming.
No! No! Stop! Stop it!
I thought I could hold it. I'm so sorry.
I thought I could hold it in-- Don't be sorry.
We're just gonna take a deep breath
and wait until the tournament is over.
You're my partner. You're gonna have to.
I can't do it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love it.
Thank you so much for being my sidekick. I love it.
Maybe she can be your partner. Hm?
Look at her. She's not even a little pregnant.
Yeah, I'm-- I'm not. Okay. Shush!
Let me-- Let me think. Whoo.
Eye of the tiger.
Okay. Sure.
Saturday, 12:30 doubles. We play at Elite.
Does that mean I get the job?
Well, that depends, Madi. If we win, maybe.
If we lose, no way, Jose.
Thank you for coming in.
Um, should we call someone? Oh, great idea.
Rosey, can you make sure that we reserve a court? Thank you.
Uh, what time? She's so stupid.
12:30, like every Saturday.
Okay. The door is that way, Madi Sharapovaklavacki. Thank you.
Congratulations.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you.
Hi. I'd like to take a lesson.
So? What?
Pro?
Oh. Heh.
Um, yeah, I'm pretty good.
Actually, I haven't played in a long time.
I-- I'd love to practice.
I'm sure I don't know anyone here anymore.
Name? It's been for a long time. Madi.
My name is Madi.
Uh, is anyone available maybe for a private or...?
No.
We run clinics today. Oh.
Fernando, any room in your clinic for Madi?
He says it's fine.
You can play with him today and see how it goes.
That'll be $45.00. Oh, okay.
Cash.
I'm sorry? Cash. Shh...
Oh.
Shh, okay.
Shh.
How you doing? Uh, come with me. We'll...
We'll heat ourselves up without them.
Court six. The last one.
Serena Williams, totally.
You don't understand the question.
How about del Potro?
Ooh! He looks like a very good lover.
Mm-hm. A Latin lover.
Oh!
Novak. Mm, too boring.
He's not boring. Hm.
He's a quiet genius.
He's methodical, professional and secretly funny.
I bet Serena could kick his ass.
Mm-hm.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
No, that was good.
No, that was... Um, that was pretty good.
Who's that? Thirty-love.
She's beating Fernando 30-l'oeuf.
No. That's okay. It's okay. It's enough. That's enough.
Hey. Hey. Hi, girls. I want you to meet Madi.
She's going to be joining the clinic for today, because...
Because she needs practice. Okay. Baseline.
Ah! It's a brand-new day.
Good. Okay. You keep your eyes on the balls, CeeCee.
Don't worry about it. Get it again. Get it again.
I know! I know!
- I had book club last night. - Here we go.
Vamos, very good.
Valentina Gasolina.
Bam, motherfucker! Ha!
Good. Valentina, Madi, go to the net.
Two volleys each. Okay. Vamos. Here we go.
Wap! Good. Good.
Wap! Good!
Follow through powerful to the net.
Good. Very aggressive. Next?
Okay. Okay. CeeCee. Vamos. Loosen.
Okay. Here we go. Move your feet, CeeCee.
Pop! Move your feet, CeeCee. Move your feet.
Wap! Change your grip, CeeCee.
No. Come to the net, mi amor. Come to the net.
Let me see you grip. Show me your grip.
Hammer. Hammer grip. Okay? Hammer. Hammer.
Where are you? At Acme Indoor Tennis.
Where are you?
Next to Preeti. You're at the net.
So show me your grip.
No! No, baby. That's not right still.
In volley, elbow to the front. Okay?
You step, wap!
Stop picking on me. I can't focus.
There's so many things to remember,
and the ball comes so fast. Okay. I'm ready.
Sorry. Excuse me, sir. Thank you.
Looking good. Feeling good.
Call Philip.
Philip. Hi. Just checking in.
Where do we stand on installing that Eagle Eye?
I'm very excited. No. I hate those.
But this is the last style we have in stock.
You could go to the website. Uh... Philip, hold on.
I'm so sorry. Wait one second. I have a situation.
Excuse me? You think I have time
to wait for tennis sneakers to arrive in the mail, try them on
and send them back over and over again
until I find the right exact pair?
No, I don't think you do.
What? No.
No. That's right. I don't, Derek.
So let's find the right pair right now.
Shall we? Okay.
Great. Let's go.
Philip, I'm back. I'm so sorry.
No, no. Listen, I will help with the financing. Just get it done.
Call me when you get this message. It's Bobbi. Thanks.
Wait. Did you leave?
I hate tennis.
What's the matter with you today?
I never get better. I hate it.
We all have our off days.
No. It's not that. I can't focus.
Too much on your mind. I have nothing on my mind.
This morning, I searched
how to clean calcium off of shower heads.
Then suddenly I'm looking at
top 10 celebrity plastic surgeries gone wrong,
which led to child TV stars then and now.
And, yes, there is crossover.
And I still don't know the best way
to clean calcium off shower heads.
Here, take one.
What is it? It's vinegar.
It's always vinegar. It'll help you focus.
Try it next time. Valentina, tell me
you are not stealing your son's medication.
Like I'm the first parent to take their kid's ADD meds.
Don't take it.
Hey, you guys, sorry.
Would you mind if I joined your clinic...
more permanently?
I guess we could use a blond.
A real blond.
Wait. What the hell were we just talking about?
If we win, maybe.
But if we lose, no way, Jose.
Sweet Jesus. What is this?
- What's what? - This.
If you're gonna play like a pro, you need to dress like a pro.
See this? Soak it in.
Stand up. You're making me uncomfortable.
Oh, uh, ahem, I... I can move in this.
Okay.
Ugh, no. Ew! I hated that.
Hey! Hated. Hi!
Oh, I'm so excited to play with you guys today.
You both look great. See?
Oh, Mary Beth, L-O-V-E the bag.
Oh, thank you.
I love your tennies. They're so cute.
They are. Is that racquet vintage?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Ha. I've had it since high school.
This is Madi. She's subbing for Rosey
and playing for a shot at being part
of the Mason Agent family.
This is Mary Beth and Grace, two of my finest agents.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, a curtsy.
Okay. So, ladies, this is the first time
Madi and I are playing together, so...
Oh, I haven't played in like five days, so just--
Well, I haven't played in like six days.
Super. So it's just gonna be a fun one, then.
Yeah. It'll just be fun. Um, up or down?
Oh, doesn't matter. Up.
Down.
I guess we'll serve first. Mm-hm.
First one in? Love!
Great. Okay. Have fun out there.
Thanks!
First one in is for pussies.
Now, listen up. Grace is a slut for the alley.
You need to cover it. And Mary Beth loves to poach,
so you gotta smack that ball right at her face.
Understood? Yeah.
Okay. Oh, forehand or backhand?
Nah, never mind. My forehand is freaky strong.
Come on, Grace!
Come on, Grace.
Come on! Come on! And...
- Dang! - Not bad.
But, uh, remember your alley.
Mine.
That was yours. That was yours.
That was your ball. It was so yours.
You seem to play well.
Usually it takes a game or two to warm up.
That could be the difference
between winning and losing, couldn't it?
Anything over here is yours. Don't--
Do you hear her meowing?
Hm?
Didn't hear the score.
Oh, shit! Grace, what's the score?
I don't know. Say 30-40.
Uh, 30-40.
Can't be, Mary Beth. Look where you're standing.
Fifteen-40? Okay. Heh.
Ding-a-lings. We've almost got 'em.
Remember your alley.
Mine!
Alley, Madi!
Grace, that was yours. So yours.
No, that was clearly yours. Yours.
- Yes! - Nice match.
Not too bad. But we could've beaten them worse.
Never let enough be good enough. Are you serious?
Eighty percent of balls are hit to the center,
so our odds were better to play the middle
even if we missed a couple down the alley.
If you missed a couple. But potato "potato."
I like your initiative.
I need to get you into a real match.
And lucky for you, I will.
Since Rosey still can't play.
Yeah, but she... She gave birth three days ago.
Ugh, dude. Don't even get me started.
Of course I support the Family Leave Act,
but this is getting ridiculous.
No matter. I have insisted
that she comes to the office to train you.
That's right. Welcome to the team.
I'm gonna start you off on the leads desk,
and I want you to make me proud.
As a wise man once told me... Dick Duncan, in person.
...winning is a habit, success is a choice.
You're welcome.
Mason Agents.
Where everyone's a winner!
Yes. Mary Beth is here. Please hold.
Oh.
Mason Agents, where everyone's winner.
Ashalee will be right with you. Please hold.
Oh, my gosh! Rosey, you didn't have to come in.
I'm doing so well.
But, whoa! Let me see!
Beautiful! Did you choose a name yet?
I name the baby.
That was the deal. Right, Rosey?
You give birth before the Dick Duncan Tournament,
and I get to name the baby.
So I'm gonna. Um, ahem, ladies.
Ladies, an announcement to make.
It is my great honor and privilege to legally...
Not legally, no. ...name this child...
Bjِrn Borg.
Hello.
May he be...
big, bold and brave,
just like his mommy's boss.
It's distinctive. Yeah, well, he's a she, so...
You don't need a megaphone yet, Rosey.
He can't talk. He can only stare with his big, spooky eyes.
I don't like him. I really don't like him.
Okay. I hate it. Take him away.
Take him away. Yeah, here we go.
How do I take him away? Quick, quick.
'Cause we also need to get back to work.
So you've had enough days off, haven't you?
And I have a closing to go to.
Stop! Stop! Thank you. Thank you.
Now, ladies, as you know, Dick Duncan is fast approaching.
And, yes, we made the playoffs quite easily.
But there's always room for improvement.
Except for you, Rosey, since you still can't play yet.
No. My new partner is going to be...
Madi.
Now is time to arouse our me--
Are you good?
Ahem, it's time to arouse our mental toughness, ladies.
- Losers are not welcome here. - No!
- I didn't hear you! - No!
- I still didn't hear you! - No!
- We must act like winners... - Now!
We cannot play tennis without confidence.
We cannot play tennis without balls.
We cannot play tennis without grit.
And remember, there's no "me" in team.
Thanks.
Ladies! Yes!
Yes, I have important, important news.
Okay. The Dick Duncan Tournament needs another 3.0 team to play,
so it's come down to us and the Cost Cup Country Club.
Can you repeat that?
We have been consistently average,
but we still need to practice very hard. Why?
Because we can take this. This clinic can take this.
If we beat the Cost Cup,
then we're going to play the champs,
the Mason Agents, at Elite at the Dick Duncan Tournament.
No, no, no, no. I can't.
Of course you can. No, I really can't.
Of course you can. We'll work on your footwork.
Valentina, you're up first. I can't play the Mason Agents.
Try to catch me! I don't like it either.
Who's this Dick Duncan, anyway?
Dick Duncan only saved tennis.
Try to catch me! It was Dick Duncan
who predicted aluminum racquets would ruin the game.
He stopped the production of aluminum tennis racquets?
I don't think so. He just talked a lot about it.
And then he became a local legend
who underwrote the tournament that beared his name.
But we're just a clinic, Fernando. We're not even a team.
Are we even 3.0? Ha! You are now.
3.0 just means that you're a little bit better than sucky.
Valentina and Madi, you're gonna play first doubles.
Jane, you and CeeCee, second doubles.
And, Preeti, singles. Okay?
Madi, try and catch me, okay?
I gave up playing matches 'cause they make me sick.
I can't sleep the night before a match.
I'm nauseous until the match, and then I suck. I hate it.
Reverse! That's why I only take a clinic.
Maybe you should try coconut water.
It's not that simple. It gives you energy,
lowers blood pressure, keeps you hydrated.
You should try it. Coconut oil is a good lubricant.
Stop. Stop.
Guys, I come in here,
and I tell you that you have a chance
to be in a torneo de Dick Duncan,
and you're over here talking coconuts?
Ladies, we can do this,
but we have to practice.
And we have to get rid of some bad habits.
Valentina, mi amor, I need you to stop
saying "bad motherfucker" every time you hit the ball.
They'll frown upon that. Preeti, you have to stop laughing
every time you get into a long rally.
Jane, if you could stop saying "louf"
instead of "love," because that annoys everyone.
It's l'oeuf, actually.
The term comes from the French.
L'oeuf means "the egg"... Right.
...which is round, like a zero.
Eggs aren't exactly round. They are French eggs.
Okay. Okay. CeeCee, whatever you must do,
just get rid of your demons.
Well, what about Madi?
I don't have any grit.
Boom! Madi lacks grit.
Good. Satisfied? Okay.
Let's work on your feet.
Why are you looking at me?
Mason Agents, where everyone's a winner.
Again.
Mason Agents, where everyone's a winner.
Again.
Mason Agents, where everyone's winner.
Yes. Ashalee is here. Please hold. Thank you.
Madi, Madi. You can't be "as good as."
You have to be "better than."
Have you even had a whiff of a new lead yet?
Actually, I was just...
Mason Agents, where everyone's a winner!
Of course you may speak with me.
Please hold for 10 seconds or less.
You see? That is how it's done.
Believe and achieve, Madi.
B-A-A... A.
Mason Agents, where everyone's a winner.
Is there a specific agent you'd like to speak with?
Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be happy to help.
Uh, what's the address?
Mm-hm. Sorry, you said Bay Lane?
Okay, ow! What? Got it.
And, um, you... You haven't worked with an agent yet?
Yeah, sure. Yeah. I can meet. Uh, when would you...?
Sure. Yeah.
Sure. Yeah. Okay. See you soon. Bye.
Dick Duncan's mansion is on Bay.
Hey, who was that?
Oh. Oh, just, uh, nobody.
Random-- Random-- Random lead. Heh, yeah.
Wait! Where are you going?
Oh, just, uh, to believe and achieve.
Your job is to generate new sales leads.
Yeah. And believe and achieve! No! Ugh!
Mary Beth! What?
Dick Duncan is dead.
Duh! He died in December.
But that could have been his son.
Little Dick.
Ugh, they call him Jackson. Let's go.
Hurry up! I'm coming.
Has Grace ever sold a house?
No.
She has an incredible backhand.
Hey. I'm Madi. Jackson.
Come on in. Thanks.
Huh. Yeah, it's, uh...
It's odd, right?
Yeah. I've never seen cherubs playing tennis before.
No, those are butterfly nets.
No, I think they're racquets. You see the grips?
Oh, yeah, there's a tennis ball.
It's being lobbed over that guy's head.
Huh, I never noticed.
But I'm not surprised. My father had a deviant sense of humor.
And he loved tennis.
Anyway, the house, uh, was built in 1918.
Come on. I'll show you around.
You okay in those shoes? Yeah.
Oh, your floors. I'll just take 'em off.
No, no, no. It's just, it's a lot of walking.
There's 13 bedrooms and parlors.
I'm pretty sure there's 14 baths.
Library. Chef's kitchen through those double doors.
What do you think's happening in there?
She's having an orgasm.
Oh.
It's the listing of a lifetime.
Selling Dick's house means more to Bobbi than...
Than what? Than what?
Than the Dick Duncan trophy itself.
Now you're lying. That is for real.
No. We ought to go tell her.
She's gonna kill us.
Can we get a milkshake?
If we have time.
How long have you lived here?
Well, I live in Brooklyn. Oh.
My son and I and sometimes his nanny
spend weekends and school breaks here.
I never actually lived here. I lived with my mom.
And we'd visit my father in the summers.
And this isn't my life.
It's my father's, and I wasn't really a part of that.
Plus, this is no place to raise a child.
Yeah. Mansions can be really tough on kids.
Don't get me wrong. It's a nice place to visit.
But I'm worried that he'll feel lonely.
To be honest, sometimes it's kind of creepy.
Like, I mean, have you seen The Shining?
"Red rum" spelled backwards.
Always thought that kid was saying "red room."
That would be "moorder."
"Moorder."
The point is, I...
I want something homier, but nearby.
I think it's time to get away from Brooklyn.
I might actually know a property not too far from here.
Well, I'd love to take a look,
but we're leaving early tomorrow.
Let me make a phone call.
There's No Place Like Home.
Melania Trump speaking. Alex. Alex, it's Madi.
Do you remember that craftsman I listed
right before I left? Before you were fired.
Who'd it go to?
A new agent. We all like her.
I was just wondering if she-- Oh, shit!
What? What'd you just say?
Nothing.
Um, do you think she could show it for me?
Look, I don't think she can do it.
Okay. She has to. I'm in The Shining
and I'm bleeding. Okay. Don't be so dramatic.
Hello?
I'm Mr. Lee.
I brought back the costume.
The Gremlin costume.
I got it cleaned and fixed. Sorry it took so long.
The kid who works here, it wasn't his fault.
You leave it here. Sure. Thanks.
Gum ball? No, no, no. I'm okay.
Oh, God! Oh! Sorry.
You should be.
That belonged to U.S. tennis pro Anne White
who wore it in Wimbledon, 1985.
Wow!
Oh.
Would you take 50 bucks for it?
With that outfit comes great responsibility.
I will not sell at any price.
Hundred bucks?
Okay.
You look like a colossal sperm.
Ridiculous. Come on.
Dr. Cohen, Dr. Kaplan, Dr. Kline and Jeff,
please meet me on Court 11 today.
Madi? Madi?
What the hell are you wearing, Madi?
Madi? Madi?
Madi, who is not returning my texts. Madi?
Sorry. Who is that?
No idea. Okay, Madi.
So I called your office,
and, uh, Judy Garland answered.
Said you haven't worked there in a while.
Something about a Grit episode.
Okay. There's no Judy Garland at Mason Agents.
Is there? I know you can hear me, Madi.
Madi Cooke, will you at least keep your elbow in front?
Did you learn nothing from me in high school?
Ha, it's so weird.
Madi Sharapovaklavacki? Hm?
Could I talk to you?
Security is very lax in this place.
Okay. I feel a little responsible
for that loss just now. You saw the Grit episode.
What Grit episode? Shut the fuck up.
No, seriously. Like, I don't watch Grit.
I mean not since that bitch
squashed the pygmy tarsier. Get out!
No.
How are you still acting like this?
Didn't you grow out of this? Like what?
Like you're so superior and better than everyone.
Um, well, probably because I could have beaten
the housewives of Connecticut a few minutes ago.
But, honestly, off the court,
I'm really just barely holding it together.
I am wondering why my best friend hasn't said,
"Hey, Ollie. How's it going? What are you doing here?
I haven't heard from you in months.
Are you okay?" I know what you're doing here.
You're here because my mother asked you to come.
That might be part of the equation, yeah. Okay.
I hate your boyfriend. I hate him.
Okay? I hate him. He's the worst.
He's a vlogger. Who's a vlogger anymore?
And he wears open-toed shoes.
Lay off. His feet need to breathe.
Ew! Ugh! You know what? It's--
It's suffocating sometimes in socks.
Ugh! I hate that.
I hate that his feet need to breathe, and I hate--
I hate that he's mean to you.
'Cause you know that he's mean to you.
And you know what? Guess what else?
He was a real dick to me.
You know he was. And you just, like, let it happen.
This is a really nice car. Is that a backup camera?
Yes. I have a backup camera, all sorts of features.
Okay. So he did actually get a real job
in an office and everything, so lay off that.
Whoa, cool.
You know, I really needed you when Steven and I broke up.
I came all the way out to L.A. to be with you,
and, like, suddenly you're not allowed out.
I was allowed out. It wasn't a prison situation.
Oh, right. Oh, I'm sorry.
The-- The three of us had that one 20-minute lunch.
And by the way, like I really wanted
to fuckin' hang out with Albert. It's "Albert."
I'm not gonna say "Albert," okay?
I mean, it's his name. No, it's not really his name.
His name is Albert. You know, I did just tell you
that he got a real job.
He doesn't have it anymore, but that's beside the point
because he's also no longer in my life.
I'm pretty hungry. Can we get some food?
There is no one in the world named Madi Sharapovaklavacki
except in Hungary, where there are hundreds of them.
Did you try Madeline?
You're overfeeding Bjِrn Borg.
Fine.
Nope. Okay, try "Madi from Grit."
Stupid.
Oh, shit! Is that her?
Yeah. I'd recognize that racquet anywhere.
Oh, my God. Okay. Give me some room.
God. Fuck.
All we need to know is,
does she have any listings with us?
She may have a very big one.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Hit me.
Dick Duncan.
No!
No! No!
Okay. Cool.
It's okay. You're fine. You're fine.
Yeah. But it's gonna be a really good sale.
That is a big one. Yeah.
God for her. Yeah.
Wow! Okay. I'm gonna wait
until she signs the listing as a Mason Agent.
Yes.
Yes. And then I'm going to fire her ass.
Pow. Yes!
And the house will be mine. Bitch!
Mwah-ha-ha-ha!
I... I shouldn't do that. I want you to leave the room.
Happy Town?
What? You lost a lot of weight.
- Whoa! What do you mean a lot? - Welcome to Happy Town.
Can I take your order, please?
Are you saying I was fat?
Ma'am? Well, she means you.
No.
I'll have an oxburger cheesy patty, no lettuce,
and a sparkly water, please. "Sparkling."
That's what I said. Sparkly. No.
Sparkly water is not a thing.
So, what are you saying?
- Me? - No.
Could I please have some Happy Town Brick Bricks
and a side of curly nae-naes, large diet.
I'm really sorry he broke up with you,
even though he's an asshole.
What did he do to you?
The slimy bastard had an affair on his desk at work.
And it's on YouTube.
Oh, well. At least you caught him.
Imagine if you never knew they were fucking.
Please drive up.
She was nice.
His affair is on YouTube? How's that even possible?
Yeah.
You look much better blond.
You kind of look like, um... Doris Day.
No. Kind of like Ryan Gosling.
It wasn't the whole affair.
It was just the one time caught on surveillance.
It was taken down really quickly,
but I threw up for like three days straight.
I'm sorry. I haven't been a very good friend, Ollie.
No. No, I should have been there for you after Stephan.
Steven.
I really miss you. I really miss you too.
I know you had your whole perfect Connecticut life
like all mapped out.
I'm so sorry. Yeah, it sucked.
I immersed myself in work, and you know what, it turns out
I'm a damn good realtor. Yeah.
Then this whole Grit thing happens. It's a total joke.
I never dreamed I'd be called in.
And then, like, I thought maybe it'd help me
build back my confidence or whatever,
and now look what happened.
No, 'cause you are still a damn good tennis player.
I am?
You think so?
When was the last time you smacked some balls?
Seriously? You're asking me that?
Mm-hm.
You really look like Ryan Gosling.
It's freaking me out.
Hey, girl. It's him. It's him.
We're not staying.
I made you apple cake.
What's going on? Ollie Twittered me.
She said the two of you are playing tennis.
I already told you that.
She joined my clinic two weeks ago.
She's been beating you in the drills.
She was always better, I think.
- Ma! - Tell her the other thing.
Ollie said you met a boy from Brooklyn.
He's a client. And barely.
We haven't even signed a listing agreement yet.
He's in a messy divorce. It's a complicated sale.
You know the story of how I met your father in Brooklyn.
Jackson's not from Flatbush, okay?
He's from the new Brooklyn, and it's not what you think.
Your daily reminder:
Don't flush girly things down the toilet.
We're having issues.
CeeCee, you have to calm down.
I'm trying. I even searched
how to calm nerves before a tennis match.
And out of nowhere, the top 10 things
never to say to your children popped up.
Uh-oh. Yes, I said them all.
Stop. Do you know that there are 40 ways
your body changes after 40?
Of course I know that.
Okay. Well, I'm at least 50,
so all of it must have already happened, right?
But you don't see me giving up. Nice racquet.
Wait. You're 50? At least.
Does Fernando know?
Dick Duncan is 35 and over.
Technically, 50 is over 35.
There's a separate team for 50 and over.
If the other team finds out, we could be disqualified.
Okay. Well, that's ageism. No. Those are the rules.
Oh, are there rules
about doping? Mi-mi-mi-mi.
The other team has arrived.
Come on, you guys.
It's time. They look coordinated.
I gotta pee again. Oh, my God.
Are they coming?
Yeah, they're just in the locker room.
Oh, that place has not changed.
Do you remember your old locker number?
I feel like such a liar, Ollie.
You do or you don't? Seriously.
I haven't told them about Mason Agents.
Well, today is not the day.
We're probably gonna lose this game.
Yeah, but what if we win?
How much longer are you planning on working there,
Madi Sharapovaklavacki?
It's true.
This hallway. I know, ha!
Someone needs to buy this place and give it a facelift.
You should buy it. No, you should buy it.
No, you should buy it.
You are not faster than me. What are you talking about?
You'll never be faster than me!
You guys, seriously, I might throw up.
Now I'm getting nervous too.
Do you need pharmaceutical help?
Hey, stop.
CeeCee, if you need to relax,
you take a deep breath in through your nose,
hold it, and let it out through your mouth. Okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
If you're under pressure, take a couple short breaths,
hold it, and then let it out through your mouth like...
Yeah. Okay.
And don't worry about winning or losing.
Every point is just the first point.
The most important thing to do is to focus on a strategy.
Focus on a strategy. F-O-S, FOS.
Think about where you want the ball to go.
You see it in your mind, and it goes there. I promise.
We should get uniforms.
They're wearing tennis-ball yellow.
On purpose. Tennis whores!
Focus. Focus. Okay. The rules are simple.
Everyone's gonna play two sets. Six games each. Okay?
In case of a tie break,
seven-point game.
When the buzzer sounds,
they're gonna tally up all the games.
The team with the most winning games
is gonna go on to play the Mason Agents
for the torneo de Dick Duncan.
There's three fresh balls on each court.
Ollie, my superstar, you stay warm and ready. Okay?
Have fun, ladies. Have fun.
He's just gonna leave us here?
Okay. Tell me. No, don't tell me.
Is CeeCee serving?
Yeah, I can't see CeeCee.
Hit the damn ball already.
I hate this!
CeeCee, remember to breathe. Okay.
Breathe in through your nose.
Hold it, then let it out through your mouth.
What's happening?
CeeCee's nostrils are flaring like crazy.
Oh, no.
What? What? No! No! Don't tell me.
There's a dimply butt fully hanging out
of a yellow skirt on court four.
Is it terrible? Just dimply.
But these binoculars are, like, really strong.
Are we losing?
I don't know.
Ugh, I can't.
Got it.
Yeah!
Bam, motherfucker!
Mary Beth! Mary Beth!
Apparently Acme doesn't answer their phone,
so I need you to call your friend
and find out if there's a winner.
Also, find out the name of Madi's partner pronto.
Already did. Valentina Maria Goldfarb.
No winner yet. Okay. Good.
Goldfarb. I need her Instagram,
Twitter, Snapchat, all that shit.
I'm gonna destroy her too, yeah.
Great. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Grace! Grace? Grace, good.
Find the cutest picture of one of those pygmy things,
the ones that Madi murdered?
I'm gonna use it to get into her head.
I wanna bait her with it. I'm the master at that.
Yes, ma'am. You are the master baiter.
I know.
Ow.
- Five serving two. - Come on, CeeCee.
I know you have enough grit for this.
You are gritless.
The killer of that cute little rodent.
You're a murderer. A murderer.
You look like a colossal sperm.
Ryan Gosling.
Second serve.
Be gone, Madi Cooke.
Be gone. Losers are not welcome here.
No!
Why are you a stupid bitch?
We cannot play tennis without grit.
Sorry, Valentina, I'm losing focus.
Don't be sorry. Everyone double faults sometimes. I do.
And I'm always fuckin' focused!
See you seeing me, bitches.
Love-15.
Switch! Go, Madi, go!
Yeah! Shit!
Okay.
Sorry. Focus on strategy. F-O-S. F-O-S.
Check your grip, CeeCee, and move your feet.
Don't get in my head.
Get mad at them, CeeCee.
Hey, hey, hey! Ginger sub, no coaching.
Get mad.
Heh. Ha!
It is kind of silly. Heh-heh-heh!
Lobbing is not at all funny.
Stop it! Stop it with the lobbing!
Ugh!
Use your anger, CeeCee. Get mad!
Really mad! Hit her in the Botox!
She doesn't even have an open stance.
What? That bitch is talking again.
- Ah! - See it in your mind,
and you hit it there.
Use your anger!
Hit the damn ball already.
Spaz.
Hammer! Hammer!
Hammer!
I said Botox, not buttocks.
It wasn't her buttocks, but it was pretty close.
Who says "buttocks" anyway?
I thought you were just being proper.
Just serve, Jane. Look, she's fine.
I need a ball.
Where's the third? I don't see it anywhere.
Do you have the third?
Oh, shit. Is it in her?
Don't be ridiculous. That can't happen.
But did we win?
She's not moving. Does that mean we won?
Thank you.
Oh, you're amazing!
I made so many unforced errors.
You were so focused.
Always, always.
We won 35 to 21 games.
Everyone played great. And now we face the Mason Agents.
For the Dick Duncan trophy,
which they have won, what, like five, six times?
I have to say, we all look really nice
in our normal clothes.
I thought you guys were all good friends.
We've had our clinic every Tuesday
for three and a half years.
Yeah. We know some things about each other
but it's mostly small talk between the balls.
Valentina has twin boys,
but she also creates websites for local businesses.
And Preeti here is a super genius,
but she likes our clinic anyway.
I'm not a super genius.
You're a scientist. Say.
And, Jane, well, we don't know much about Jane.
Those guys wanna dance with you.
Oh.
- Okay. - Well, ladies,
with age comes wisdom.
Good one! Thank you!
So good! So good! Ooh!
Okay. We should go over and say hello.
But we're still getting nachos? Yeah.
I'll get the next round. Okay.
We should get the guacamole.
Madi, they are so nice. I know. They're so nice.
It's a shame the Tuesday clinic has to end.
What? Yeah. Front Desk Debbie said
management is having trouble keeping the doors open.
With the rent and electric bill, it's like $4000 a month.
I thought management owned Acme.
Mm, mm-mm.
Who owns it?
Like, some dead guy. And that's a direct quote.
I mean, you have to admit,
it has turned into a bit of a shithole.
What do you mean? The white lines are the same everywhere.
We used to love Acme as kids. Yeah, 'cause we were kids.
Well, all it needs is a deep clean
and some better lighting.
What? It needs better everything.
Don't you remember how happy tennis used to make you?
This could be your chance to own that place.
You already know your way around real estate.
What? Mm-hm.
All I wanted was a nice glass of wine to celebrate.
Fernando is really bouncy today.
I play better hungover.
I didn't realize they still made Alabama Slammers.
You had too many shots last night.
I couldn't have had too many shots.
The bartender's literally still walking to our table with them.
You kept talking about buying this place.
I was serious about that.
You kept talking about quitting Mason Agents.
Were you serious about that?
Hey. I'm very proud of my Tuesday clinic,
because now we're going to play the finals
against the Mason Agents. Like, come on,
whoever thought something like this could happen? You know, I--
I-- I-- I never win nothing.
Oh, shit, really?
Okay.
Now we have work to do. Why you looking at me?
Some people are hitting the ball late, okay?
Remember that the contact point is in front,
so eyes to the front, okay?
If you are to the side,
you're gonna be hitting the ball late. Okay, so...
That's what we shouldn't do, right?
Just do the first one. Okay. Baselines.
To think... Wow!
Wow! Champions! Ha!
Look at my team of winners, ha!
Champions of the world!
I'm very proud of you guys, just so you know.
Okay. So remember, CeeCee,
you have to hit the ball to front.
Maybe... Maybe try to say it out loud, okay?
Contact point, ha! Contact point, ha!
Contact point! You try. You try. Okay?
Okay.
Contact point. Good!
Again.
Contact point!
Contact point works! Good job, CeeCee!
Gracias! Wow! Very good, CeeCee.
Okay. Next?
Madi, I hear congratulations are in order.
Somehow you made it
into the Dick D Tournament without moi.
How did that happen?
One minute we're partners, and the next,
I'm getting jazzed to smash the shit out of you.
Take a seat. Okay.
I quit.
Great. Love it.
But before you leave, Madi,
I just wanna say a big, fat thank you.
You see, I've been pursuing Dick a long, long time.
Mm-hm. I've been desperate to get my hands on his house.
And now, thanks to you, I do.
You know, since you signed the listing agreement
as my employee.
Oh, but, ahem, I haven't signed
a listing agreement yet, so...
you don't get Dick.
Well played, ha. That is a bummer.
But lucky for me,
you're not the only smart cookie in the house, Madi Cooke.
Yeah, that's right. I know who you really are.
But, um, ooh, question.
Does Jackson know that you're a gritless murderer
of pygmy things?
No, he doesn't, does he?
Tsk. Oh, dear.
And does your, um...
Does your team know that you're a liar
and a fraud and a loser?
Ugh. I'm sorry. This sucks...
for you.
Oh, Madi.
But you know what?
I actually know how you feel.
Yeah. Believe it or not...
...I used to be--
God, a mess.
I was just a walking, talking bag of unforced errors.
I was a loser, a nightmare, a mess.
I was just like you. And now look at me.
Pssh, God, winning's so easy these days.
It's almost boring at this point.
Which is why I'm gonna give you a chance.
I'm gonna spice things up a little.
Oh, yeah, this'll be fun. Okay. Okay.
So how about this?
If you win the tournament, which you won't,
I'll keep your secret secret
and you can sell Dick's mansion.
But if I win, which I will,
I get the listing clean and simple.
Ooh! Good one, Bobbi.
Do we have a deal?
Oh, and that clapping, that's for me. Heh.
Okay. So we're gonna do a--
A different type of lesson today.
We're gonna do a lesson in positivity.
Why you looking at me? Okay, ask yourself
why you play tennis. Why do I play tennis?
You or me? You.
'Cause you said both. It's fun.
Good. It's fun. Why? Preeti?
It's fun to belong to something.
It's fun to have someplace to go.
It's kind of the same thing. It's fun to hit something.
It's fun not to go to the gym instead.
It's fun being asked to play.
But then, you know, I'm never really playing,
'cause I'm just a sub. Right. Madi?
I should've quit weeks ago.
Madi, no. We can't win without you.
If we don't win, I lose everything.
Yeah. That's generally what happens,
but we're gonna lose together as a team.
A team.
A team, motherfucker.
A team.
Okay.
Let's rally. Okay?
Um, Valentina, you and Madi.
CeeCee and Preeti. Ollie, you rotating,
and, Jane, I have to give you a word. Come on. Hands.
Oh, thank you. Hands. Hands.
Thanks, Fernando. Good job.
Am I still saying l'oeuf?
Fernando, I tell you, I don't even realize this.
Jane, I am sorry. Um...
It's kind of hard for me to say.
You know you just... "Lou," right?
The name Lou, and you put an F at the end.
L'oeuf. L'oeuf actually. Ha-ha!
It's-- So, Jane, it's 35 years and older
and up to 50 to play in the tournament of Dick Duncan.
I double-checked the rule book.
The Mason Agents, they're not gonna let you play.
Have you told CeeCee?
I'm gonna put Valentina with CeeCee
and Ollie with Madi since they used to be partners.
Yeah, but, I mean, have you told CeeCee?
Because, you know, she gets all up in her head.
I think that's gonna be
the second most difficult conversation
I'm gonna have today.
I'm so sorry, Jane.
But-- Hey, but there's no rules
against having you as a sub, and we're required to have one.
You know, Fernando, I've been playing tennis
for over 30 years, and I may have slowed down a bit,
but I plan on playing for another 30,
so I guess this one really won't matter, will it?
That's very mature of you, Jane. Really?!
Are you trying to be funny?
We couldn't have made it into the tournament
without you, Jane.
You're my best player.
Team.
Mr. Lee?
Oh, God!
Dude! What is up with that?
That is not a good customer experience.
No returns. Oh, no.
I'm not here to return the unitard.
No, no. It's-- It's distinctive. I dig it.
Actually, I'm here to look for some uniforms
for my tennis team.
We need to look professional...
but intimidating.
You know what I mean? That mask is--
What is that mask? It's a baby.
It's horrifying.
Everybody loves babies.
Oh, no. No, not everyone.
Actually, how much is it?
I cannot sell at any price.
What about borrowing it?
Hm.
I'm nervous.
I remember playing here as kids, but it just seems fancier today.
We never played here as kids.
I know. Just checking you for dementia.
Ready?
Please don't say, "Let's do this."
Okay. You ready?
Yeah.
Let's do this.
Their tops are really cute. Mm-hm.
Ladies, team talk.
I want you to play every game
like your lives and jobs depend on it.
We can hear you.
Like, this doesn't do anything.
I gotta pee.
I already did at home.
My God!
Oh, my God, Valentina!
She Tonya Harding-ed herself.
She's really hurt! Oh, God!
Hope she can still play.
Somebody call a sub! Bring me a sub!
Mine!
Got it!
Move it, Rosey!
Oops. That was out, sweetheart.
I'm sorry. Don't start that "sorry" shit.
Take a second. Look at your strings. Remember?
Controlled aggression.
Get your racquet back sooner. Just like high school.
Yeah, but we won in high school.
"We won in high school."
Contact point. Contact point.
- Stop it! - Contact point!
Contact point! Valentina, tell them to stop it
Stop saying "contact point" out loud, CeeCee!
They're trying to get in your head.
Bam, motherfucker. There's your contact point!
Excuse me, ma'am. They must've heard you curse.
Oh, what's going on? Oh, my gosh!
We have reason to believe these are yours.
Wait. Where did you find those?
This is bullshit.
There's no doping in tennis. Ever.
We're not animals.
Slowly put down the racquet
and come with us, Scary Spice.
This has to be a joke.
We never kid about drugs,
especially our children's drugs, Goldfarb.
What? How do you know my name? Keep moving.
Jane, attack the blond one's backhand,
and keep this bitch away. Will you move?
Yeah, yeah, I heard you.
Drugs are bad.
I guess subs aren't allowed first one in, huh?
No, mom, they're not.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I call you mom?
You look just like my mother. Oh...
What's that score, CeeCee?
Thirty-love.
Thirty-l'oeuf!
Forty-l'oeuf!
Grace, what are you doing?
You're sucking! I'm sorry.
Okay. Just keep your eye on the ball.
Follow through and hit inside out if you have to.
There wasn't time for inside out.
Let's go!
Out! That was out!
It's too tight.
Stop it!
I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. I'm trying not to.
Stop it! It's not funny!
I'm sorry. You're right. I will not do it again.
It is not funny.
The advantage is in.
I study successful people, Madi.
You're not a successful person.
Winning isn't everything.
No. No, for you, Madi, losing is everything.
Take that, bitch.
And that.
Oops! That's out! That's out!
What the hell? Sorry.
No. The screaming.
Who never had kids? Who never had kids?
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't have kids.
Rosey, have you brought Bjِrn Borg to the grand finale?
Have you lost your mind?
You know I can't stand babies, especially crying ones.
Philip's holding her in the stands.
I wasn't allowed to cry when I was a kid.
That sound is triggering. I need you to shut it down.
She's hungry. I'm gonna go feed her.
I'm sick to death of your breastfeeding excuses.
How long with this madness, huh?
What? Another two, three weeks?
Nothing about that in the rule book.
Remember what I said about hitting inside out.
They are so obviously hammering your weakling backhand.
It couldn't be more obvious.
Oh. And stop meowing!
L'oeuf... I mean 5-40.
Psst!
I can't hit it if I don't meow.
Come on, Grace!
Run, Jane, run!
We won! Whoo!
Your spot! Your spot!
That's your ball! You suck!
Oh, you suck. I hate you! You're mean.
You suck. You're mean. You made us lose.
Oh, blegh! I can do that too.
Hey! Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha!
We won 20 games! They have 21!
Holy shit!
Plus our games, we can pull off a big upset, Madi.
We could kick ass just like the old days.
I suck. I'm making so many unforced errors.
What is wrong with me?
Your racquet's open, and you're getting under the ball.
Worse than that, where the hell is your confidence?
I was being rhetorical.
Have you forgotten what we called you
in high school? Mad Madi?
You were fierce on the court.
Don't you remember?
Oh, um, I remembered something.
As a sponsor of the local news,
I insisted they cover the tournament.
So just a heads up, everyone's gonna see you lose.
I hate her.
That should piss you off.
Come on.
It's you and me like old times.
Back when grit was just the shit that got in your eyes.
And when you lost confidence, what would you do?
Take hers.
So, what are you waiting for?
Chin up, Madi.
This will all be over soon,
and then you can go back to being nothing.
Rosey, open your eyes.
Take hers.
Take your time.
Rosey, Bjِrn Borg is crying again.
That's not Bjorn Borg. What?
Okay. Nothing. It's a man.
Nothing. No, it's...
Okay. Serve. Serve. Serve!
Each team's winning games have been tallied.
And, yes, it's come down to an unlikely tie.
A brutal seven-point tiebreaker is now underway.
And the clock is still ticking.
I was told all play must stop with the buzzer.
And the team with the most points
wins the deciding game. Got it! Die!
It is a pressure cooker... Die again! Fuck!
...like no other.
Aah! Out! Out!
It was... It was out!
- That wasn't out, was it? - Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
I won! I won! I won!
Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry, Madi.
I hope you weren't counting on that trophy
or a big Dick Duncan commission,
because guess what?
I got it.
I got it. I won. I got it.
Proved all those doubters wrong. I fucking got it!
We won! We won, Rosey. We did.
Why do you look so sad?
Okay. Sure. Fuck, yeah.
Hey! Hey! I won! I-- I just won.
Hello? I won.
What the fuck?
Rosey! What? No.
No, no, no, no, no. I-- I was--
I was a foot away from the ball. I saw the ball.
It-- It was out.
It looks like the Acme Spice Girls
are challenging the call.
What is going on? I'm proud to announce
that Elite is the only private club
in the beautiful state of Connecticut
to offer the Eagle Eye line-calling system.
When you play at Elite,
it's like you're playing at Wimbledon.
We-- We won!
But check it. I'm cool.
Let's check it. Fine.
In.
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about! That's what I'm talking about!
That's what I say! That's what I say!
Acme! Acme! Acme!
You need to do it again.
You need to do it again!
Do it again. Do it again!
No! This is mine! This is my trophy!
Come here! Rosey, help me!
Give me that trophy!
I was hoping I'd see you before I locked up.
This is the last of it.
Nice.
Congratulations again.
Congratulations to you, Madi Cooke.
It's true I didn't know my father,
but I have a feeling he would've liked you.
Hm, why is that? He would've said you have grit.
Ha-ha-ha, I'm just kidding.
Ta-da! We are the proud new owners
of Acme Indoor Tennis.
Remember the hours we used to spend
hitting against this wall? Yeah. Crazy, right?
We're really doing this? No, we are not doing this.
You are. I'm a silent partner, remember?
I'm barely settled back into There's No Place Like Home,
and already I have like nine new listings.
I can't believe Dick Duncan owned this place.
Thank you...
silent partner.
Thank you...
non-silent partner.
Should we change the name?
No, I kind of like Acme.
It means the pinnacle, the highest point.
Hm. Kind of makes me think of the Road Runner cartoon.
No. No. No?
You suck at this game.
Hey, you only live once.
But you get to serve twice.
Oh, gross. Gross.
What are you doing? I thought you were good at tennis.
Hm.
Whoo!
Hey!
Whoo!
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