1 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,886 - Lawrence Rutherford, founder of this town 2 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,596 and my patriarchal ancestor. 3 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:14,098 He brokered a uniquely fair and honest deal 4 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,975 with our neighbors, the Minishonka, 5 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:18,728 thus establishing our town. 6 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:20,063 - What do you want? 7 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:21,314 - Something that was ours to begin with. 8 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,815 - That land includes 9 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,275 the Rutherford Falls Heritage Museum, 10 00:00:24,317 --> 00:00:25,860 AKA my house. 11 00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:28,738 - We present to you Ye Olde Rutherford Village. 12 00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:31,240 - The entire town center will be transformed 13 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:33,201 into 17th century Rutherford Falls. 14 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,244 - So you're gonna take my land 15 00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:37,580 but allow me to stay on it under your terms? 16 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:40,458 - Think of it as a fair and honest deal. 17 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,753 - Elizabeth is Nathan's mom, but who is this Ronnie guy? 18 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:46,881 - I don't think Nathan's technically a Rutherford. 19 00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:48,091 - I can't be with a guy 20 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,967 who destroys my best friend's entire life. 21 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,552 - I'm sorry, Reagan. 22 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:52,845 - Do you know how much wood I've chopped, 23 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,305 how many cars I've washed, 24 00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:56,099 dirty dancing classes I taught? 25 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,183 - Oh. 26 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,352 - Hey, Bobbie, just a quick FYI, 27 00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:01,479 I'm closing the museum 28 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,815 for approximately ever. 29 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:05,566 I'll see you later. 30 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,905 [jaunty piano beat] 31 00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:13,574 - Previously on "An American Powder Keg"... 32 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:15,785 - Shut your stupid pieholes! 33 00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,745 Big Larry's gonna stay right where he is. 34 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:19,705 - Is it not accurate to say that your family 35 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,124 introduced whiteness to the region? 36 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:22,458 - Nathan did try to pay off 37 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,335 his family's debt with popcorn. 38 00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:27,088 - From WNHY New York, I'm Josh Carter, 39 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,298 and this is "An American Powder Keg: 40 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,300 The Story of Nathan Rutherford." 41 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:33,845 In this final chapter of the podcast, 42 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,889 we reflect on all that's changed. 43 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,850 Much of the town of Rutherford Falls, 44 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:41,602 now partially owned by the Minishonka Nation, 45 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:44,939 has been completely transformed into some sort of 46 00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,900 colonial-themed tourist destination. 47 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:51,654 But the question remains: where's Nathan? 48 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:54,532 Having lost everything, this once vocal mouthpiece 49 00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:58,411 for the Rutherford name has seemingly vanished, 50 00:01:58,453 --> 00:02:01,330 ignoring repeated requests for comment. 51 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:03,040 As his family's legacy fades, 52 00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:05,793 I can't help but hope that wherever he is, 53 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:07,920 he's found his place in the world. 54 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,547 "An American Powder Keg" is brought to you 55 00:02:09,589 --> 00:02:11,299 by Unbiased Undies. 56 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,384 Unbiased Undies make me feel sexy... 57 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:14,844 - Reagan. - And supported. 58 00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:15,803 [music cuts] 59 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,306 - Reagan, they're here. Come on. 60 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,474 - Be right there. 61 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,855 [upbeat music] 62 00:02:25,897 --> 00:02:27,565 The history of Indigenous people 63 00:02:27,607 --> 00:02:31,069 is the greatest story never told, until now. 64 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:34,781 I'm proud to welcome you to the new Minishonka Cultural Center 65 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,659 and Northeast Regional Historical Exhibition Museum. 66 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,953 We're working on the name. Follow me. 67 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,538 - Hi. Welcome. 68 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,831 By entering, you relinquish your rights 69 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,792 to all media content created on-site. 70 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:46,709 Enjoy your visit. 71 00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:48,711 - Minishonka parents still use 72 00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:50,630 cradle boards like this one to hold their babies, 73 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,839 freeing their hands to work. 74 00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,925 And check this out. 75 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,259 Baby bling. 76 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,427 Baby doesn't even see this side. 77 00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:58,721 It's just a flex. 78 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:01,265 These 19th century moccasins made from deer skin 79 00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:03,476 and beadwork are my favorite piece here, 80 00:03:03,518 --> 00:03:05,686 or they will be, if they ever arrive. 81 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,480 Timothy at the shipping company, 82 00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:09,482 he's blaming the delay on general climate change. 83 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,985 I'm like, "Sure, Timothy." Not your problem, though. 84 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,112 - Hey, possums. 85 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,988 Are you a second-season Netflix show? 86 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,616 'Cause you just got canceled! Ah-ah! 87 00:03:18,658 --> 00:03:20,576 - Ow, ow, ow, ow. Chill. 88 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,328 Lawrence Rutherford did end 89 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,664 the Great Possum Infestation of 1812, 90 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,915 but he would have surely lost 91 00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:27,625 if it weren't for the Minishonka, 92 00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,002 who dropped some much-needed wildlife knowledge. 93 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:32,338 - Without the Minishonka, you'd all be dead. 94 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,591 - I mean, I didn't say it, but... 95 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,427 I hope you enjoyed the tour today. 96 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,804 Um, any questions? Yeah? 97 00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:43,057 - Why isn't the Minishonka Cultural Center on Indian land? 98 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:44,934 And furthermore... - Furthermore, okay. 99 00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:48,187 - When will you decolonize this oppressive museum space? 100 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:53,401 - Well, the concept of a museum is a European idea, 101 00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:55,445 so it's impossible to decolonize, 102 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,947 but we can reclaim it and make it our own. 103 00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:00,992 And we are building a museum on our rez. 104 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,786 It'll be done in a year or so, so relax. 105 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:06,873 And furthermore, isn't this all Indian land? 106 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,458 Anyone else? 107 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,835 - Does Nathan know that you touched his stuff? 108 00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:12,003 Also, where is he? 109 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,255 - Ms. Fish, as I told you yesterday 110 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,424 and every tour for the last two months, 111 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:17,759 I don't know where Nathan is. 112 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,010 He's taking some space for himself, 113 00:04:19,052 --> 00:04:20,428 and we're giving it to him. - Fine. 114 00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:21,637 I didn't know if there was an update. 115 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,222 - Bobbie, take us home, please. 116 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:24,640 - Astronaut ice cream. 117 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,642 Who wants? Who wants? 118 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:28,978 And go get 'em. Go get 'em. 119 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,146 And go get 'em. 120 00:04:30,188 --> 00:04:33,149 [upbeat music] 121 00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:37,987 * * 122 00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:40,656 - Did the slideshow for Terry's birthday. 123 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,951 I timed it to play for the whole party, no repeats. 124 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,828 - Terry hates surprises, so a surprise party's 125 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,497 really gonna catch him off guard. 126 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,999 - Hmm, logic tracks to me. [watch beeps] 127 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,585 Oh, I really got to get to my next appointment. 128 00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:53,669 [watch chimes] 129 00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:55,338 And there's my meditation reminder. 130 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,839 - Meditation? - Yeah. 131 00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,966 I'm just trying out little chunks of self-care. 132 00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,927 It's been stressful. - Oh, I feel you. 133 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:01,969 I mean my plate is full. 134 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,513 That's why I wake up every morning 135 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,473 at 3:45 a.m. 136 00:05:05,515 --> 00:05:07,141 And until Terry wakes up at 4:15, 137 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,602 that's my time, that's Renee's time. 138 00:05:09,644 --> 00:05:10,603 - Mm. [watch chimes] 139 00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:12,146 Oh, meditation over. 140 00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:14,148 Not one of my more effective ones, I've got to say. 141 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:16,901 - Oh, before I forget, I have another batch of photos to add. 142 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:19,695 I know it's a little after the deadline, but so what, right? 143 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:21,823 - Right. Yeah, what is a deadline anyway 144 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,451 but some dumb time boundary to help us not lose our minds? 145 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,286 - Reagan, I need to speak with you. 146 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,038 It's an emergency. - Oh. 147 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,835 - There's a ghost in the building. 148 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,712 Like, for real. - Bobbie, stop. 149 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,172 - I've heard noises and sounds. - Those are the same. 150 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,716 - Creaky floors. Humming. 151 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,801 Sometimes I get a chill out of nowhere, 152 00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:43,052 especially by the windows. 153 00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:45,054 - You know what, I wish there was a ghost. 154 00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:46,889 I could use the help. [watch beeps] 155 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:49,142 Ugh, stop yelling at me. You're a watch! 156 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,728 - Uh, so what are we thinking, ghost-wise? 157 00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:54,105 - There's no ghost. Please just do your job. 158 00:05:54,147 --> 00:05:55,022 I'm so late. 159 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,482 Love you. Got to go. - Uh... 160 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:02,905 - With our acquisition and reimagining of the town square, 161 00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:05,491 we've now completed phase four, subphase eight. 162 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:09,120 But phase four, subphase nine is where things really heat up. 163 00:06:09,162 --> 00:06:11,664 - Yep, subphase nine's a real banger, 164 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,958 but Terry, I can't take any more information. 165 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,627 If you stuff anymore in, it's gonna come out the other end. 166 00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:17,795 - Relax. You're just not used 167 00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:19,338 to being a high-performing individual. 168 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,590 - Rude. - Let me ask you. 169 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,716 How much water do you drink? 170 00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:24,093 - This is not about water. 171 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,595 Why? How much should I be drinking? 172 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,263 - Imagine a lot. 173 00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:29,057 Imagine too much. 174 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:30,099 It's more than that. 175 00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,517 - [huffs] 176 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,186 Oh, pfft. [laughs] 177 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,771 No. Oh, my gosh. 178 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:37,106 I'm not drinking all this. It's like a kiddie pool. 179 00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:39,317 - There's all kinds of life hacks to help you optimize. 180 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,902 Cold showers, random sprints, 181 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,779 calibrating chews per bite. 182 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,821 I'll send you some articles. 183 00:06:43,863 --> 00:06:45,531 - The last thing I need 184 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,450 is homework telling me how to do more homework. 185 00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:49,077 I need a real support staff. 186 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,620 I'm doing the work of three people. 187 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,080 - The revamp drained us. 188 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,290 We should be cutting budgets, not expanding them. 189 00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:57,126 But I might have something that could solve your problems. 190 00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:58,419 - Is it the water? 191 00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,420 - The water, yes. 192 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:00,922 - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,341 - So this is your basic ghost hunting equipment. 194 00:07:03,383 --> 00:07:07,303 We got a thermo reader, radio frequency jammer. 195 00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:08,638 - Some Reese's Pieces, 196 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,390 in case it's like an "E.T." type ghost. 197 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,641 - Wasn't E.T. an alien? 198 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,601 - Don't question us. 199 00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:15,812 Ghosts are serious business, 200 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,980 especially in a place like this. 201 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:20,066 - What do you mean? What does he mean? 202 00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:23,152 - Obviously, there are a lot of white ghosts here pissed off 203 00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:25,029 because Indians have occupied the space. 204 00:07:25,071 --> 00:07:27,365 - But we brought a bunch of their sacred items 205 00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,158 to lure 'em out. 206 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,369 A "Cheers" DVD, 207 00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,538 a $9 bottle of chardonnay, 208 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,582 and Malcolm Gladwell books. 209 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,084 They can't get enough of these. 210 00:07:38,126 --> 00:07:39,502 - Did you do the prep we asked for? 211 00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:40,837 - Yes, I left a plate 212 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,672 of grilled, unseasoned chicken out as bait. 213 00:07:42,714 --> 00:07:44,507 I put it right here on the-- 214 00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,926 [gasps] The chicken is missing. 215 00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:49,595 The chicken is missing! 216 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,222 - Show yourself, spirit. 217 00:07:57,979 --> 00:07:58,938 - Every time we visit, 218 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,773 it takes my breath away. 219 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,400 Can you feel the excitement? 220 00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:04,110 - I feel kind of nauseous. 221 00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:06,696 All this faux patriotism makes my tummy hurt. 222 00:08:06,738 --> 00:08:08,322 - Reagan, this is how we get our land back, 223 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:10,408 one hand-dipped candle at a time. 224 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:11,659 - Ugh. - Someday, 225 00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:12,952 Ye Olde Rutherford Village will be 226 00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:14,537 as popular as Times Square. 227 00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:17,582 - Yep, I can already picture the Ye Olde Red Lobster. 228 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,624 - Terry. 229 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,626 - Oh, boy. 230 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,628 - Terry Thomas. - Feather Day. 231 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,921 - I know who I am. 232 00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,299 The question is, who do you think you are 233 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,634 shoving this old-timey colonizer crap 234 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:29,802 down our gullets? 235 00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:33,139 Because as a proud Minishonka woman, 236 00:08:33,181 --> 00:08:35,683 I must say, that is not our way. 237 00:08:35,725 --> 00:08:36,768 - There's no need for dramatics. 238 00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:38,019 As I said at the council vote, 239 00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:39,520 this undertaking will benefit all of-- 240 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,772 - As you know, 241 00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:42,982 I run a gym called Sweat. 242 00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:45,526 First sessions are free. Generous referral program. 243 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,652 - Oh, I'm good. 244 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,321 - See? Sweat was a great name. 245 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,989 Sharp, clean, sensual. 246 00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:52,533 Nobody wants to set foot in Ye Olde Sweat. 247 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,160 - Or eat at Ye Olde Soup Depot. 248 00:08:54,202 --> 00:08:56,120 - I mean, did we want to eat at regular Soup Depot? 249 00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,498 - Folks, it's just branding. 250 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,583 - We should be free to call our businesses whatever we want. 251 00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:01,709 - Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,503 What I'm hearing from our community 253 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:07,840 is that your dumb plans are infringing on our freedom. 254 00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,008 - Oh. - Hold on. 255 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,009 Cool it with the F-bombs. 256 00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:11,052 - I like freedom, Terry. 257 00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:12,095 - Yeah, freedom rules. 258 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,137 - Okay, that's enough, Arnold. 259 00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:14,222 - Look, pretty soon, we're all 260 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,182 gonna be swimming in a lot of money. 261 00:09:16,224 --> 00:09:19,352 Try not to sweat the small stuff. 262 00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:21,020 - I have the right 263 00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:23,022 to sweat what and where and whom I choose 264 00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,649 because that is America, 265 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,527 and this is not over. 266 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,737 Come on, Arnold. Keep up. 267 00:09:31,406 --> 00:09:32,657 - Hmm. 268 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,575 [tense music] 269 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,745 [device beeping] 270 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,166 [floorboard creaks] 271 00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,722 - [gasps] - [grunts] 272 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,056 - It's not a ghost. It's a pervert. 273 00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:58,141 Kick him! Kick him! 274 00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:59,767 - No! No, no, no, no, no, no. 275 00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:01,519 - Wait, stop. Stop. 276 00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:02,645 It's Nathan. 277 00:10:02,687 --> 00:10:04,397 - Nathan? 278 00:10:04,439 --> 00:10:05,940 - Hi, Bobbie. 279 00:10:08,443 --> 00:10:11,070 - WebMD says to apply this on and off for 15 minutes. 280 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:13,030 And tell me, what the hell is going on? 281 00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:15,825 - Okay, but it's gonna take a while to really parse 282 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,952 through all of the nuances of my situation. 283 00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,245 - He came back two months ago 284 00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:21,122 and was super embarrassed about how he acted 285 00:10:21,164 --> 00:10:23,583 and Josh's podcast about how he acted, 286 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,085 so he hid in the attic. 287 00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:28,421 - That's pretty much all the nuances. 288 00:10:28,463 --> 00:10:30,631 - But what have you been doing up here? 289 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,216 - I've been working on myself, 290 00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:34,093 you know, examining my blind spots. 291 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,803 I read the book "White Fragility," 292 00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:36,888 and then I read another book about 293 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:38,097 how "White Fragility" is bad, 294 00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,932 and then I read a third book called 295 00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:41,267 "White 'White Fragility' Fragility" 296 00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:43,978 about how white people are super fragile 297 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:45,855 about the book "White Fragility." 298 00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:47,190 - It's been a real journey for him, 299 00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:48,816 and for me, via text. 300 00:10:48,858 --> 00:10:50,693 - I'm almost ready to rejoin society. 301 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,153 I just have to nail my reentry. 302 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:55,239 People think I'm a selfish jerk, and they're not wrong. 303 00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:57,283 I have to apologize to everyone 304 00:10:57,325 --> 00:11:00,453 and make sure they know I've grown and changed as a person. 305 00:11:00,495 --> 00:11:02,789 I'm thinking something splashy, mid-July. 306 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,499 - That's ten months away. 307 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,042 - Yeah, I know. It's gonna be tight. 308 00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:08,461 - So you're just gonna hang out here all alone? 309 00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:09,545 - Well, he's not alone. 310 00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:11,339 I've been here with him, helping him out, 311 00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:14,300 sacrificing what little free time I have for that. 312 00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:16,511 And of course, in return, he's been helping me, 313 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:19,055 you know, check off some of the stuff on my long to-do list. 314 00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:20,264 - I knew there was no way 315 00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:21,516 you could do all this on your own. 316 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:24,102 You've accepted so many unearned high fives. 317 00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:27,814 And Nathan, you may not have been a ghost, but... 318 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,315 you ghosted me. 319 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:33,653 - Bobbie, I clearly owe you a huge apology, 320 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:36,239 and you're gonna get a doozy, 321 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,990 with everybody else, circa July. 322 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,909 - Or now. - Hmm? Now? 323 00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:41,244 - Read the room, bud. 324 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,787 - But... 325 00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:44,163 Ah, okay. 326 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,498 [chuckles nervously] All right. 327 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,583 Even though I am many drafts away 328 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:50,169 from even being workshop ready, let's give it a try. 329 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:53,673 Keep in mind, this is a rough draft. 330 00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:55,299 Um, Bobbie... 331 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,178 I-- - I forgive you! 332 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,556 Of course I forgive you. 333 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,974 - Oh! 334 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:06,310 [sighs contentedly] 335 00:12:08,062 --> 00:12:09,480 - I know the financials aren't a home run, 336 00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:11,691 but are we talking ground rule double, 337 00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:13,234 maybe a triple? 338 00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,778 - This is more like if the batter flipped off the crowd 339 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,988 and then crapped his pants. 340 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,531 - Why would he do that? 341 00:12:18,573 --> 00:12:21,492 - Business at the rebranded shops has actually gone down. 342 00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:24,662 You bet on Americana at the exact moment in history 343 00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:26,706 when the American brand is in the dumpster. 344 00:12:26,748 --> 00:12:28,082 - But that's temporary, right? 345 00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:30,043 Eventually, Mark Wahlberg will make some movie 346 00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:32,211 about an EMT who adopts a shelter dog, 347 00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:33,796 and together, they'll save the Super Bowl, 348 00:12:33,838 --> 00:12:37,091 and then everyone will be back on board with America, right? 349 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,426 - I mean... 350 00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:41,888 [sighs] 351 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,890 - Well, thanks for the rundown, Al. 352 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,141 - Yeah. 353 00:12:45,183 --> 00:12:46,559 - I'm confident we'll right the ship. 354 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:47,727 - I hope so, 355 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,854 because as they say in the big leagues, 356 00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,606 you can only crap your pants once. 357 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,567 [determined music] 358 00:12:54,609 --> 00:13:01,574 * * 359 00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:08,581 - Here we go. - Shake it up. Shake it up. 360 00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:11,667 - Tonight's P.F. Chang's and a movie pairing is... 361 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:14,379 "Honey, I Walnut the Shrimp." [both laugh] 362 00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,588 Been looking forward to this one. 363 00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:16,631 - Yeah. 364 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:17,715 Man, I'm still riding high 365 00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,217 off that Bobbie forgive. 366 00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,259 Do you think I should do the big apology now 367 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:21,260 instead of waiting for July? 368 00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:22,720 Is that insane? - I mean, 369 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:25,098 as much as I hate to lose my white man in the cupboard, 370 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:26,641 it's clearly the right move. 371 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:28,351 - Hmm. - All right. 372 00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:30,561 Let me give Chang's a call. 373 00:13:30,603 --> 00:13:32,730 140 new messages? 374 00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:33,981 - Whoa. 375 00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:35,191 - The cultural center was my dream, 376 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,110 but I think it's slowly killing me. 377 00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:39,278 - Aw. - Look, my eye twitch is back. 378 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,780 - Oh, yeah. It's Morse code. 379 00:13:40,822 --> 00:13:43,074 "Forget work. 380 00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:44,283 Walnut shrimp." - [sighs] 381 00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:45,993 You're right. No work talk. 382 00:13:46,035 --> 00:13:48,788 Tonight is about you, me, and Moranis. 383 00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:49,872 - A-boom. 384 00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,332 Hey, wardrobe-wise, 385 00:13:51,374 --> 00:13:53,126 do you think a societal reentry is black tie? 386 00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,127 - [sighs] - No. 387 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,169 It's very inappropriate 388 00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:56,295 for me to ask you to take that on. 389 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:57,797 I take responsibility. 390 00:13:57,839 --> 00:14:01,092 - Well, look at you stepping up and owning your business. 391 00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:02,635 - Mm-hmm. 392 00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:04,470 - Also, I'm gonna need you to add 40 new photos 393 00:14:04,512 --> 00:14:06,514 to Terry's birthday slideshow. - Copy that. 394 00:14:11,227 --> 00:14:12,186 - This apology's got to be big, 395 00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,604 but humble. 396 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,399 Effective, but effortless. 397 00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:18,901 - Big, humble, effective, effortless. 398 00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:19,902 Love that. 399 00:14:19,944 --> 00:14:20,987 - Something that says, 400 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,363 "Nathan Rutherford is back, 401 00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,240 and he is better than ever, baby!" 402 00:14:24,282 --> 00:14:26,743 - [laughs] I have the chills. 403 00:14:26,784 --> 00:14:28,453 Look. 404 00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:30,455 - Bobbie, are you sure you're okay helping me 405 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,373 even though you're not my assistant anymore? 406 00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:34,584 - Yes. We're still besties. 407 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,711 So get ready to proof my college apps 408 00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:37,920 and lend me your car when I want 409 00:14:37,962 --> 00:14:39,213 to go antiquing in Saratoga. 410 00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:40,631 - Deal. 411 00:14:40,673 --> 00:14:42,133 All right. What's gonna make the best apology? 412 00:14:42,175 --> 00:14:44,052 I was working on this whole speech, 413 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:46,220 but it's, like, ugh, you know? 414 00:14:46,262 --> 00:14:49,057 And so, I'm just--I'm tossing it out, starting from scratch. 415 00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:51,893 First blurt: five-part rock opera. 416 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:56,522 We call it "Nathan Rutherford: A Redemption Spectacular." 417 00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,609 - Obsessed, but you capped the budget at $50. 418 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,944 Maybe focus on making amends. 419 00:15:01,986 --> 00:15:03,154 - Okay, good. Amends. 420 00:15:03,196 --> 00:15:04,906 How do you make amends? 421 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,949 I stand in the middle of town square. 422 00:15:06,991 --> 00:15:08,993 Anyone I've wronged can just walk up and insult me 423 00:15:09,035 --> 00:15:10,620 or physically punish me. 424 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,330 - It's gonna seem like you're into that, 425 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:13,956 which, no judgies-- 426 00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:15,249 - Zoom out. 427 00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:16,751 Where are we with celebrity integrations? 428 00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:19,670 - Fallon, Kimmel, and Colbert haven't returned my calls. 429 00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:21,923 James Corden did, but you don't want that. 430 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,257 - Gah, why is this so hard? 431 00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:24,759 I wish it could just be like it was with you. 432 00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,387 It was so natural. I loved how I was being. 433 00:15:27,428 --> 00:15:29,389 - I loved how I was being. 434 00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:31,474 - Oh, my God. 435 00:15:31,516 --> 00:15:33,267 Did we just crack this? 436 00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:34,894 - No idea where you're going with this, 437 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:36,396 but it feels like a moment. 438 00:15:36,437 --> 00:15:38,398 I'm gonna take a video. 439 00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:42,693 [light chatter] 440 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:44,278 - No, make sure those quiche cups stay warm 441 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,321 but don't dry out. 442 00:15:45,363 --> 00:15:46,572 Those balloons are sagging. 443 00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:47,990 What, is there a helium shortage? 444 00:15:48,032 --> 00:15:49,700 - Sorry! - Reagan. 445 00:15:49,742 --> 00:15:51,994 Terry's almost here, and there's still so much to do. 446 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:54,080 - Oh, I'm sure you got it. It looks amazing-- 447 00:15:54,122 --> 00:15:56,082 - So many tasks, so few competent people, 448 00:15:56,124 --> 00:15:56,999 you know what I mean? 449 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,668 - Mm. 450 00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:01,087 Is there anything I can do? - Oh, you're a saint. 451 00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:02,296 I'm not gonna do that thing 452 00:16:02,338 --> 00:16:03,506 where I say, "No," and then you insist. 453 00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:05,591 I respect you too much. - Ah. 454 00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:06,884 - Now, go decorate the cake. 455 00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:08,594 - Oh, like, professionally? 456 00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:10,513 - They wanted 100 bucks to write a little message. 457 00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:11,681 I have the frosting. 458 00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:13,015 There's an app that teaches calligraphy. 459 00:16:13,057 --> 00:16:15,226 Now, go! - Okay. 460 00:16:15,268 --> 00:16:17,437 - I've been helping Reagan plan Terry's party for weeks. 461 00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:18,521 The guest list? 462 00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:20,106 It's a veritable who's who 463 00:16:20,148 --> 00:16:22,191 of who's who in Rutherford Falls. 464 00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:23,651 - I think it's just one who's who. 465 00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:25,194 - [laughs] Not when it's this elite. 466 00:16:25,236 --> 00:16:26,988 You need two who's whos. 467 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,157 It's the perfect opportunity for a mass apology. 468 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,868 Now, here's the memory stick. Let's go over this again. 469 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:35,037 I'm gonna sneak in undetected, find the perfect hiding spot-- 470 00:16:35,079 --> 00:16:37,832 - And then emerge like a butterfly from its chrysalis. 471 00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:39,792 You don't think I have this memorized? 472 00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,711 - I'm sorry for underestimating you. 473 00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:43,212 - Forgiven. 474 00:16:43,254 --> 00:16:45,548 Let's do this. 475 00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,300 I'll see you inside. - No. No, you won't. 476 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,760 Because I'm gonna find the perfect hiding spot. 477 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,720 - I know. - I know you know. 478 00:16:50,762 --> 00:16:51,721 Okay. 479 00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,266 - Call the foreman and tell him 480 00:16:55,308 --> 00:16:57,560 that we need to hit pause on the next phase 481 00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:58,895 while I figure a few things out. 482 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,022 Listen, I'm walking into dinner with my wife, 483 00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:03,024 and I need to get off the phone for my own safety. 484 00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:04,692 So, we'll talk soon. 485 00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:09,322 all: Surprise! 486 00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:13,117 [cheers and applause] 487 00:17:13,159 --> 00:17:15,828 - Did you do this? - Well, I had to do something. 488 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,247 You're turning-- - No need to get into details. 489 00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:20,208 [laughter] - Sorry. 490 00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:24,128 And I have an even bigger surprise. 491 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:31,010 - * Now I've had the time of my life * 492 00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:33,763 * No, I never felt like this before * 493 00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:36,265 - Do you still remember? - Are you kidding? 494 00:17:36,307 --> 00:17:38,184 I taught these moves for three years. 495 00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:39,769 - [chuckles] 496 00:17:39,811 --> 00:17:42,063 - * And I owe it all to you * 497 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:46,776 - * 'Cause I've had the time of my life * 498 00:17:46,818 --> 00:17:48,694 [cheers] 499 00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:54,117 * And I owe it all to you * 500 00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:59,705 * * 501 00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,958 - * I've been waiting for so long * 502 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:05,962 * Now I've finally found someone to stand by me * 503 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:08,589 [cheers and applause] 504 00:18:08,631 --> 00:18:10,967 - * We saw the writing on the wall * 505 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:16,139 * As we felt this magical fantasy * 506 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,807 * * 507 00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:19,851 both: * Now with passion in our eyes * 508 00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:24,897 * There's no way we could disguise it secretly * 509 00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:26,482 * * 510 00:18:26,524 --> 00:18:28,776 * So we take each other's hand * 511 00:18:28,818 --> 00:18:33,448 * 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency * 512 00:18:33,489 --> 00:18:35,158 [distant cheers] 513 00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:36,451 - Sounds fun. 514 00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:37,744 Would love to be enjoying myself, 515 00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,079 but sadly, my whole life is this. 516 00:18:40,121 --> 00:18:42,790 [gasps] Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit! 517 00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,584 - I think you're supposed to drink that, 518 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,210 not ruin cakes with it. 519 00:18:46,252 --> 00:18:47,420 - Wayne, I swear. 520 00:18:47,462 --> 00:18:48,546 [sighs] Sorry. 521 00:18:48,588 --> 00:18:50,214 I just didn't think I would be 522 00:18:50,256 --> 00:18:52,175 coming here to do more work. 523 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:54,260 - Same. Renee asked me to do this earlier, 524 00:18:54,302 --> 00:18:55,720 and I was like, "Nah, man." 525 00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:57,638 - I'm sorry. You said, "Nah, man"? 526 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,057 That's something you can just say? 527 00:18:59,098 --> 00:19:00,558 - Hell yeah. You know, whenever somebody 528 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,185 asks me to do something annoying 529 00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:04,353 or it's just one of those times I need to kick back and chill, 530 00:19:04,395 --> 00:19:05,688 like a Tuesday. - Mm-hmm. 531 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:06,814 - And it's not like I'm the only one 532 00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:09,817 that can do this stuff, so nah, man. 533 00:19:09,859 --> 00:19:11,944 - Is that why you never seem stressed? 534 00:19:11,986 --> 00:19:13,696 I just thought you were always high. 535 00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:16,074 - Oh, well, yeah, also that. 536 00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:17,867 - No, no. This makes sense. 537 00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:21,370 I think that's what setting a boundary actually is. 538 00:19:21,412 --> 00:19:22,705 Thanks, Wayne. 539 00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,250 Can you help me fix the cake? 540 00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:28,503 - I think you know what I'm gonna say to that. 541 00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:30,463 - Got it. Yeah. 542 00:19:30,505 --> 00:19:37,637 both: * Because I've had the time of my life * 543 00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:40,723 * No, I never felt this way before * 544 00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:42,225 - Looks pretty good out there, huh? 545 00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,684 - Don't love the centerpieces, but listen. 546 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,311 I spoke to the DJ. 547 00:19:45,353 --> 00:19:47,730 When the dance is done, they'll take the spotlight off Terry 548 00:19:47,772 --> 00:19:49,857 and put it on you, then play the video. 549 00:19:49,899 --> 00:19:52,402 Everyone will know it's your moment. 550 00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:55,238 - Yes. Yes. 551 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,074 [both chuckle] 552 00:19:58,116 --> 00:20:00,576 Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm, this doesn't feel right. 553 00:20:00,618 --> 00:20:02,120 Ah. Oh. 554 00:20:02,161 --> 00:20:03,579 I'm about to make a terrible mistake. 555 00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:05,081 - What? What do you mean? 556 00:20:05,123 --> 00:20:06,499 - Everything that I've been learning and vowing 557 00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:08,209 not to do again, I'm about to do it again. 558 00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:09,877 What was I thinking? 559 00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:11,421 Bobbie! 560 00:20:11,462 --> 00:20:12,922 We have to stop me! 561 00:20:12,964 --> 00:20:14,757 Text the DJ. - I don't have his number. 562 00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:16,175 That's an end-of-the-night move. 563 00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:17,343 - Signal him or something. 564 00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:18,428 Go. Go. - Oh, okay. 565 00:20:18,469 --> 00:20:25,601 * * 566 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,941 [music cuts off] - Hello, Rutherford Falls. 567 00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:34,110 [gasping and chatter] Nathan Rutherford here. 568 00:20:34,152 --> 00:20:36,696 I know you probably have a lot of questions for me, 569 00:20:36,738 --> 00:20:38,823 about me, and I'm here to answer them all, 570 00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:40,950 to lay my soul bare. 571 00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:41,993 - What the hell? 572 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,494 - I'd like to offer a formal, 573 00:20:43,536 --> 00:20:45,913 town-wide apology to each and every one of you. 574 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:47,957 Okay. Wait. Oh, hang on. 575 00:20:47,999 --> 00:20:50,126 [chuckles nervously] That's awfully bright. 576 00:20:50,168 --> 00:20:53,296 Okay, bit of a mix-up. Classic misunderstanding. 577 00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:56,674 Because from here on out, every choice I make, I own. 578 00:20:56,716 --> 00:20:59,093 Yeah. Okay, don't listen to him/me. 579 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,721 That's old Nathan. This is new Nathan. 580 00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:03,306 But that was old Nathan. 581 00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:05,933 This--this is new Nathan. 582 00:21:05,975 --> 00:21:07,226 Nathan 2.0. Yeah. 583 00:21:07,268 --> 00:21:10,646 So now, we're at 3.0, because I am a Nathan 584 00:21:10,688 --> 00:21:13,566 that knows that I shouldn't be centering myself in this way. 585 00:21:13,608 --> 00:21:16,027 I'm no longer the guy who just centers himself, 586 00:21:16,069 --> 00:21:17,820 sucking up all the air in the room. 587 00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:21,407 We got it, old Nathan. We're ahead of you here, so-- 588 00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:23,659 Bobbie, why is that not off? 589 00:21:23,701 --> 00:21:25,703 - I'm used to apps. These are real buttons. 590 00:21:25,745 --> 00:21:26,996 Okay, found it. 591 00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:28,664 - Nathan. 592 00:21:28,706 --> 00:21:30,166 This is my birthday. 593 00:21:30,208 --> 00:21:31,584 - Yeah. Yeah. 594 00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:33,628 [winces] I know. 595 00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:36,005 Terry, I'm so so-- 596 00:21:36,047 --> 00:21:38,466 - And I want to watch the rest of that video. 597 00:21:38,508 --> 00:21:41,344 - Oh, no you don't. It's--hmm? 598 00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:43,930 Oh, he--you do? 599 00:21:43,971 --> 00:21:46,349 Okay. 600 00:21:46,391 --> 00:21:47,767 Happy birthday. 601 00:21:47,809 --> 00:21:50,770 And now that I'm enlightened to these things, 602 00:21:50,812 --> 00:21:52,939 I'm excited to share them with others, 603 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,525 to be a guru, if you will. 604 00:21:55,566 --> 00:21:57,610 - Nathan also ruined the cake, just FYI. 605 00:21:57,652 --> 00:21:59,529 - Yeah. That sounds appropriative. 606 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,030 Um, a sage. 607 00:22:01,072 --> 00:22:02,949 Yeah, that feels right. - [mouths] Sorry. 608 00:22:07,537 --> 00:22:10,415 [upbeat '80s music] 609 00:22:10,456 --> 00:22:11,999 - It wasn't my intention, 610 00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:13,626 but you know, intention doesn't matter. 611 00:22:13,668 --> 00:22:17,505 Impact does, and so, I'm just so sorry for the impact on you. 612 00:22:17,547 --> 00:22:19,966 Please say something. 613 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:23,344 - Honestly, I've been stressed out all week, 614 00:22:23,386 --> 00:22:25,179 and it was hilarious watching you drown. 615 00:22:25,221 --> 00:22:27,140 Really put things into perspective. 616 00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:29,267 I mean, my life, while hard, 617 00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:30,852 it's not that, 618 00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:32,812 so I accept your apology. 619 00:22:32,854 --> 00:22:35,481 - Okay. Well, thank you. 620 00:22:35,523 --> 00:22:38,359 And I don't know what kind of issues you're having right now, 621 00:22:38,401 --> 00:22:41,279 but one time when I was in a really tough spot, 622 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,114 you said to me, all this stuff, 623 00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:44,949 it's gonna work itself out. 624 00:22:44,991 --> 00:22:46,325 - Hmm. And did it? 625 00:22:46,367 --> 00:22:48,911 - [chuckles dryly] No. God, no. 626 00:22:48,953 --> 00:22:50,455 Things took a real dark turn. 627 00:22:50,496 --> 00:22:52,623 My whole life kind of blew up, actually. 628 00:22:52,665 --> 00:22:54,459 I'm still recovering from it, 629 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:57,837 but I don't think that's gonna happen for you. 630 00:22:59,881 --> 00:23:00,840 Look around. 631 00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:06,929 * * 632 00:23:08,264 --> 00:23:10,224 - Here you go. - Thank you. 633 00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:12,643 Hey! You two clean up nice. 634 00:23:12,685 --> 00:23:14,228 - Thanks. - Aw. Listen, Reagan. 635 00:23:14,270 --> 00:23:16,105 I would love an assist with the guestbook. 636 00:23:16,147 --> 00:23:17,565 I just want everyone to snap a Polaroid, 637 00:23:17,607 --> 00:23:19,609 glue it to a page, write their favorite Terry memory. 638 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:22,570 Do you think maybe you could wrangle some folks for me? 639 00:23:22,612 --> 00:23:23,905 - Nah, man. 640 00:23:23,946 --> 00:23:25,907 Also, Terry, I'm gonna hire a curator, 641 00:23:25,948 --> 00:23:27,909 and you're gonna pay for it. 642 00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:30,286 Happy birthday, though. This is all so nice. 643 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,544 - Hey. Oh, wow. 644 00:23:38,586 --> 00:23:40,296 Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 645 00:23:40,338 --> 00:23:44,801 - You know, tonight-- I mean, what a great night. 646 00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:47,387 - One for the books. 647 00:23:47,428 --> 00:23:50,223 - I just wanted people to know that I've changed, 648 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:51,516 but I guess it came off as like, 649 00:23:51,557 --> 00:23:54,394 "I'm not a villain. I'm one of the good guys." 650 00:23:54,435 --> 00:23:56,104 Well, maybe I'm not a good guy. Maybe I'm just... 651 00:23:56,145 --> 00:23:58,398 - Some asshole. - Some guy. 652 00:23:58,439 --> 00:24:00,942 Did you say "asshole"? - [chuckles] Yeah. 653 00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:03,528 I mean, like, all my trying to be more-- 654 00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:05,279 tracking my steps, 655 00:24:05,321 --> 00:24:07,865 chugging water to optimize productivity-- 656 00:24:07,907 --> 00:24:09,742 it's pointless. 657 00:24:09,784 --> 00:24:11,786 I'm not superhuman. [sighs] 658 00:24:11,828 --> 00:24:14,914 If we could just accept that we're a couple of assholes 659 00:24:14,956 --> 00:24:17,667 hurtling through space on this big, dumb rock 660 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:20,586 crawling with other assholes, 661 00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:24,507 maybe we could actually feel good about ourselves. 662 00:24:24,549 --> 00:24:25,508 - I like that. 663 00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:30,972 Well, here's to being a couple of lovable assholes. 664 00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:33,307 [upbeat music] 665 00:24:33,349 --> 00:24:34,767 * * 666 00:24:34,809 --> 00:24:38,271 - Mayor Chisenhall, just who I was hoping to see. 667 00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:40,648 - Sorry I'm late. I got caught up. 668 00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:42,066 - Listen, I'm having issues 669 00:24:42,108 --> 00:24:43,860 with the Main Street business leaders. 670 00:24:43,901 --> 00:24:46,028 - Angling at your own birthday party? 671 00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:47,363 Very on brand. 672 00:24:47,405 --> 00:24:49,490 - It's actually branding that I want to discuss. 673 00:24:49,532 --> 00:24:52,869 If everyone embraces "Ye Olde," we'll attract more visitors. 674 00:24:52,910 --> 00:24:54,746 - I'm gonna stop you there. 675 00:24:54,787 --> 00:24:56,414 As much as I, a Black woman, 676 00:24:56,456 --> 00:24:59,792 would love to hear more about your trip back to the 1800s, 677 00:24:59,834 --> 00:25:01,335 as of tomorrow, 678 00:25:01,377 --> 00:25:04,839 I'm being installed as the interim state comptroller. 679 00:25:04,881 --> 00:25:06,299 - Really? That's a big deal. 680 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,133 - I know it. 681 00:25:07,175 --> 00:25:08,342 In the line of succession, 682 00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:10,928 it's five "Me Toos" away from governor. 683 00:25:10,970 --> 00:25:12,597 - Congratulations. That's... 684 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,977 - There it is. He's doing the math. 685 00:25:18,019 --> 00:25:19,687 - The town will have to elect a new mayor-- 686 00:25:19,729 --> 00:25:21,856 - I knew, within seconds, this would be about you. 687 00:25:21,898 --> 00:25:23,357 - This is a critical time, 688 00:25:23,399 --> 00:25:25,193 and the next mayor of Rutherford Falls 689 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:28,196 will have major influence over the future of this town. 690 00:25:28,237 --> 00:25:30,114 It is of utmost importance 691 00:25:30,156 --> 00:25:32,909 that I secure a candidate who bolsters my plans. 692 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:34,827 If I can't, everything I've fought for 693 00:25:34,869 --> 00:25:35,995 could be in jeopardy. 694 00:25:36,037 --> 00:25:37,288 - Ooh, are those quiche cups? 695 00:25:37,330 --> 00:25:39,040 - Yes, and they are incredible. 696 00:25:39,082 --> 00:25:41,042 Organic eggs, local cheeses, 697 00:25:41,084 --> 00:25:43,503 but I can't get into that right now. 698 00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:47,757 I need to go find the next mayor of Rutherford Falls. 699 00:25:47,799 --> 00:25:50,760 [lively music] 700 00:25:50,802 --> 00:25:57,934 * *