1 00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:03,985 Previously on Monarch... 2 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,063 ♪ You broke my heart ♪ 3 00:00:06,232 --> 00:00:09,491 ♪ My body and mind. ♪ 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,343 -You stole mama's song! -You mean before you could? 5 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,512 Of course you helped Mama die. 6 00:00:13,663 --> 00:00:15,330 You're just like her. 7 00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:18,242 Wade, you got a song for me? 8 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,077 My style does tend more towards the, uh... 9 00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:22,354 Lovesick young cowboy? 10 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,672 Jamie Burke, producer out of Atlanta. 11 00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:25,749 Yeah, charmed. 12 00:00:25,842 --> 00:00:27,267 JAMIE: Nicky, you're so talented. 13 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,269 I want you to know it really is 14 00:00:29,421 --> 00:00:31,363 a pleasure meeting you. 15 00:00:31,515 --> 00:00:33,848 I feel terrible doing this to Gigi. 16 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,367 LUKE: That's what you said last time. 17 00:00:35,519 --> 00:00:37,536 NICKY: How far along are you? 18 00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:39,112 Luke doesn't even know yet. 19 00:00:39,265 --> 00:00:41,098 Dottie was being blackmailed. 20 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,767 $50,000 a month, every month. 21 00:00:43,769 --> 00:00:45,377 You tell 'em that Albie Roman 22 00:00:45,604 --> 00:00:47,629 ain't paying 'em another cent. 23 00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:50,591 ♪ ♪ 24 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,431 (car alarm chirps) 25 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,242 ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:40,490 (line rings, clicks) 27 00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:43,251 It's done. 28 00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:44,311 (beeps) 29 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,564 (engine starts) 30 00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:03,080 ♪ ♪ 31 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,955 Pretty as the day I first met you. 32 00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:23,392 You are too sweet. 33 00:02:26,388 --> 00:02:28,397 Come on, sugar. 34 00:02:38,308 --> 00:02:39,733 WOMAN: Right in there. 35 00:02:39,851 --> 00:02:41,735 -(door opens) -MARTY: Thank you. 36 00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,496 I got here as quick as I could. 37 00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:47,240 Any luck figuring out who these blackmailers are? 38 00:02:47,393 --> 00:02:49,910 Like I said, they're pros. 39 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,154 Communication's airtight. End-to-end encryption, 40 00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,989 asymmetric algorithms. 41 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,341 In English. 42 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:59,178 They're ciphers. Impossible to trace. 43 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:00,904 (sighs) 44 00:03:01,073 --> 00:03:02,848 Then I want you to set up a meeting. 45 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,074 What? No, Albie... 46 00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:06,092 I want to meet these vultures in person. 47 00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:08,353 And look 'em in the eye. 48 00:03:09,748 --> 00:03:11,690 They're gonna pay for the pain they caused her. 49 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:14,175 Albie, I don't think you understand. 50 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,102 These people are dangerous. 51 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,846 Here's what you don't understand. 52 00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:21,491 So am I. 53 00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:30,450 Excuse me, what are you doing in here? Hey! 54 00:03:30,602 --> 00:03:32,211 Clive! 55 00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,120 Well, I'm making a ginger and turmeric smoothie. 56 00:03:34,273 --> 00:03:35,863 They say it improves your mood. 57 00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:38,458 Well, it is certainly not improving mine. 58 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,202 Do you think two weeks in the guest house is gonna, like, 59 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,537 make me forget who you are? 60 00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,798 Actually, the time apart's been quite the revelation. 61 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,800 See, we all knew that your mother 62 00:03:46,952 --> 00:03:49,061 had terminal cancer, but, uh... 63 00:03:49,288 --> 00:03:52,289 I always wondered... 64 00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,459 how she passed so quickly. 65 00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:57,236 And now I know. 66 00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,812 You killed her. 67 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,073 I did not kill her. 68 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,133 And I have the proof. 69 00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:06,411 Oxycodone, Nick, which you gave to her, no doubt. 70 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,398 I helped her open the bottle is what I did. 71 00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:11,733 That's a distinction known only to you, me, 72 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,826 and Dottie-- God rest her soul. 73 00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,569 What do you want? 74 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:15,979 Penthouse suite, 75 00:04:15,998 --> 00:04:17,739 200 grand walking-around money. 76 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,407 Ah, to start. 77 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,152 Are you insane? It's what she wanted. 78 00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,503 Or maybe you wanted to be Queen of Country 79 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,580 just a little bit sooner than Dottie was ready 80 00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:28,141 to relinquish the crown. 81 00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:36,525 ♪ ♪ 82 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,692 (Gigi groans) 83 00:04:45,844 --> 00:04:47,602 It's hot as hell. 84 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,270 Somebody please remind me why we shoot 85 00:04:49,364 --> 00:04:52,291 the Roman Family Christmas special in July again? 86 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,851 ALBIE: You know why. 'Cause Christmas 87 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,295 was your mama's favorite holiday, 88 00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,130 and this way she could have it twice a year. 89 00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:01,258 And so a Roman tradition was born. 90 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,194 Fake Christmas. 91 00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:06,546 Which brings us to why we're all here. 92 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,549 We are gonna be filming the special all week, and viewership 93 00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:10,809 has been a little off lately. 94 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,219 No kidding. This show is so dated. 95 00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,129 All we're missing is VCRs 96 00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:17,707 and "Re-elect Reagan" spots. 97 00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:20,301 It may be old-fashioned, but Mama loved tradition, so... 98 00:05:20,470 --> 00:05:22,379 You know what else Mama liked? Ratings. 99 00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:24,806 So why don't we bring this show 100 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,308 into the 21st century? You know, maybe update it 101 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,645 -for the under-80 crowd. -Spoken like a true millennial. 102 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,889 Are you two still mad at each other over the rodeo? 103 00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:35,058 -I'm not mad at her. -Why would she be? 104 00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:36,560 She's the one who stole my song. 105 00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,670 And now it's number one on Spotify. 106 00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:39,838 Technically, it was Mama's song. 107 00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:41,731 Technically, you're a thieving, 108 00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,233 backstabbing bitch. 109 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,569 Good, this is just that Christmas spirit I love. 110 00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:47,471 Enough. 111 00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:51,591 This special is a tradition that your mama loved. 112 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,410 But, Daddy, everyone knows 113 00:05:53,428 --> 00:05:56,096 -you never liked it. -But your mama did. 114 00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:58,690 Half of a marriage is partnership. 115 00:05:58,842 --> 00:06:01,101 And the other half... 116 00:06:01,269 --> 00:06:02,919 is keeping your mouth shut. 117 00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:05,513 I'll see y'all at the studio. 118 00:06:05,607 --> 00:06:09,242 (country version of "Away in a Manger" playing) 119 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,711 (groans) Look at me. 120 00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:23,048 Is this really the image that you want 121 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:26,051 for one of Monarch's hottest up-and-coming acts? 122 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:27,611 You look adorable. 123 00:06:27,779 --> 00:06:29,036 That's what the fans want. 124 00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:30,964 Do you even know who my fans are? 125 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,967 They're single moms and lesbians. 126 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,619 They don't care about adorable. 127 00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:37,454 They want honest and real. 128 00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:39,973 Geeg, I don't know why you complain about this every year. 129 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,234 -It's... -It's tradition, yeah, I know. 130 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,569 Just like toxic masculinity and the Confederacy. 131 00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,573 CARINEH: You're really not gonna like what Clive's done now. 132 00:06:48,650 --> 00:06:50,725 NICKY: Unbelievable. 133 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,078 I-I call him out for cheating, and then... 134 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:55,321 he's the hot stud and I'm, what am I? 135 00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:59,233 I'm, oh, I'm pathetic and I can't move on. 136 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,402 -Who is she? -Some young skank. Who cares? 137 00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:04,256 You need to show your fans you've moved on 138 00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:06,149 right now. 139 00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:08,818 -I mean, you have. -You mean Wade? 140 00:07:08,912 --> 00:07:11,412 That's just... It was just some fling. 141 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,914 I'm not judging you, sweetie. 142 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,267 But there's a double standard. I mean, 143 00:07:15,494 --> 00:07:18,161 Clive can whore it up all over town and his stock goes up. 144 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:21,773 You need to... bravely open yourself up 145 00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:23,683 to a new relationship. 146 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,335 Something people can root for. 147 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:28,596 Go public as a couple with Wade. 148 00:07:28,674 --> 00:07:30,173 But we're not a couple. 149 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:31,783 And the Romans aren't the perfect family 150 00:07:31,893 --> 00:07:34,286 that sit around the fire and sip eggnog 151 00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:36,121 and sing "Frosty the Snowman." 152 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,439 But people want to believe what they want to believe. 153 00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,200 So... 154 00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:42,202 You, what, you want me to go... 155 00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:44,612 out on a fake date? 156 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,964 As your publicist, I think 157 00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,041 you and Wade will keep you exciting, 158 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:50,635 yet still wholesome and aspirational. 159 00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:52,362 As your friend, I know that you and Wade will give 160 00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,121 Clive a taste of his own medicine. 161 00:07:54,216 --> 00:07:56,216 -I'll think about it. -Well, don't think too long. 162 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,867 Clive is probably making out with at least 163 00:07:57,869 --> 00:07:59,686 one of the Kardashians as we speak. 164 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,691 ♪ ♪ 165 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:17,245 Where the hell are they? 166 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:21,500 They ain't coming. 167 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:28,131 Everybody's a badass till they ain't. 168 00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:39,017 ♪ ♪ 169 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:04,543 NICKY: Listen, I know we're all busy with the Christmas special, 170 00:09:04,694 --> 00:09:06,402 but we need to talk. 171 00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:08,605 My sister may be a giant pain in the ass 172 00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:11,716 who hates my guts right now, but I am not... 173 00:09:11,943 --> 00:09:13,718 gonna sit quietly in the background 174 00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:15,628 when her entire future 175 00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:18,114 with the only woman she ever loved hangs in the balance 176 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,058 Nicky, I love her, too. 177 00:09:20,285 --> 00:09:22,043 -We all do. -Right, because 178 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,620 nothing says I love you more 179 00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:25,230 than sleeping with the brother-in-law. 180 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,882 Listen, this wasn't some sordid affair. 181 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,809 All right, there are real feelings here. 182 00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:32,053 Yeah, but it was a mistake, obviously. 183 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,798 We're deeply sorry for it and it's done. 184 00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:36,241 Good, because right now we have 185 00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,484 a much bigger problem that's harder to hide. 186 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,412 A baby. 187 00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,305 Yeah, well, Gigi and I have been wanting another one, so... 188 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:44,231 I know, which leads me to why 189 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,825 I invited you both here, because I think 190 00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:49,312 I might have a solution that, that suits all of us. 191 00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:52,649 So listen up and keep an open mind. 192 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:55,260 ("Deck the Halls" playing on piano) 193 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:03,417 Oh, "Deck the Halls," how original. 194 00:10:03,511 --> 00:10:05,345 Psst. 195 00:10:05,497 --> 00:10:06,938 Yay. 196 00:10:07,165 --> 00:10:08,773 What brings you by here? 197 00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:10,108 This is such a surprise. 198 00:10:10,259 --> 00:10:12,259 What, I need an excuse to come visit my wife? 199 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:15,447 Oh, I see, you want something. 200 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,507 -I get it. -No. 201 00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,175 I just, um... 202 00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,769 I've been thinking a lot about our plan... 203 00:10:21,863 --> 00:10:23,346 to have another baby. 204 00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:24,530 Really? 205 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:26,182 Right now? 206 00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:28,317 I know it sounds crazy, 207 00:10:28,319 --> 00:10:30,962 but since we decided I'd carry, 208 00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,022 what if we fast-track this whole thing 209 00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:35,449 and ask Luke to be our donor? 210 00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,710 Luke? My brother? 211 00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:40,029 Chiseled CEO 212 00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:41,881 with a daddy complex Luke? 213 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,383 I know, I... 214 00:10:43,535 --> 00:10:45,793 Well, what made you think of him? 215 00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:47,704 It's common to ask a relative or a close friend. 216 00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,205 Okay, but 217 00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:50,798 I'm not sure if having 218 00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:53,134 another baby right now is a great idea. 219 00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:55,970 I-I'm trying to light a fire under my career. 220 00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,730 Why the rush? 221 00:10:57,899 --> 00:10:59,899 We have all the time in the world. 222 00:11:00,051 --> 00:11:01,718 MAN: Gigi, we need you on set. 223 00:11:01,736 --> 00:11:03,569 -Got to go. -Oh. Bye. 224 00:11:03,722 --> 00:11:05,664 Bye, honey. 225 00:11:10,578 --> 00:11:12,245 I guess when you're rich and famous, 226 00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:14,414 you're allowed to have two Christmases. 227 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,900 Amazing. 228 00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:18,659 Mom. 229 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:21,179 -Is that Wade Stellings? -It is. 230 00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,907 I told you everybody would be here. 231 00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:26,333 And now you are, too. (laughs) 232 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,394 Hey, there. 233 00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:30,747 You ready to pretend it's Christmas? 234 00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:32,582 Hi. 235 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:33,692 It's, um... 236 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:36,194 It's good to see you again. 237 00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:42,425 It is, but now I believe 238 00:11:42,444 --> 00:11:44,160 we're late for our wardrobe fitting. 239 00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,206 This isn't the junior prom. 240 00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:50,375 We're here for one reason and one reason only. 241 00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:51,710 To work. 242 00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:54,045 Not to meet cute boys. 243 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,611 -Bye. -Roman Family Christmas 244 00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:04,038 has been Stellings family viewing since I was little. 245 00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:06,891 My mama called it "comfort food for the soul." 246 00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:09,043 She can't believe I'm a guest star. 247 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,544 We're lucky to have you. 248 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,439 Maybe next time you'll ask me yourself. 249 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,735 All right, so this isn't about the Christmas special. 250 00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:19,645 You didn't have to have our publicists arrange another date. 251 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,574 You could have just asked. I mean, I have seen you naked. 252 00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:24,391 Yeah, and it was fun. 253 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,652 But I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl. 254 00:12:26,805 --> 00:12:29,989 That's why my publicist reached out-- it's a fake date, PR. 255 00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:31,991 I'm not here for fake anything. 256 00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:34,252 All right, why are you here? 257 00:12:34,403 --> 00:12:36,329 For you. 258 00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,131 Bye. 259 00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:43,553 Thank you. 260 00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:48,349 All right. 261 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:53,563 Hi. 262 00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:55,857 You doing okay? 263 00:12:57,185 --> 00:12:59,685 I know Fake Christmas isn't the same without Mama. 264 00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,171 Nothing's the same without Mama. 265 00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:03,973 What's wrong, Daddy? 266 00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:07,452 Well, it's like this. Your mother... 267 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:09,454 she was being blackmailed. 268 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,864 What? How do you know that? 269 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,183 Marty. 270 00:13:14,202 --> 00:13:15,868 Said it'd been going on for the... 271 00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,462 better part of the last ten years. 272 00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:19,689 Well, I don't understand. 273 00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:21,691 Wh-Who? And why? 274 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:23,860 "Who" is on my to-do list. 275 00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:25,804 But "why"? 276 00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:28,640 I think she was protecting me. 277 00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:31,976 My affair. 278 00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:33,719 You know, the one I told you about. 279 00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,146 That was years ago. 280 00:13:35,298 --> 00:13:36,297 Somebody must've known. 281 00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:37,631 And you know your mother. 282 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,151 The Roman image was important to her, 283 00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:42,803 at... at any expense. 284 00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,489 I don't think that was it. 285 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:48,809 The night Mama passed, she said something to me. 286 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:51,478 I've done things that can never 287 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:54,390 be forgiven. 288 00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:56,075 I didn't know... 289 00:13:56,227 --> 00:13:58,837 what it meant. I-I still don't, but... 290 00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:01,397 it wasn't about you. 291 00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:03,716 I think Mama may have secrets of her own. 292 00:14:16,414 --> 00:14:19,599 Another lump of coal for you, Gigi. 293 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:21,417 That's okay, Nicky. 294 00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:24,011 'Cause coal turns into diamonds. 295 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,089 And like Mama always said, 296 00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:28,091 your luck is what you make it. 297 00:14:28,093 --> 00:14:31,035 -And Mama turned her luck... -Ridiculous. 298 00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:34,980 They're grown women now. 299 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,600 (laughs): Oh, don't, don't be a grinch. 300 00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:40,027 They're helping people feel better about their lives. 301 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,529 We're the first family of country music. 302 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,290 And that's degrading. 303 00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:46,626 Look, all right, I know you never had any of this 304 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,111 when you were growing up. 305 00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:49,721 You had no Christmas, no music... 306 00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:52,373 no love. 307 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:55,376 But even though our girls are out there pretending, 308 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,728 the audience, 309 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,046 what they're feeling is real. 310 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,125 Real love, real joy. 311 00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:05,219 Just what I feel every morning when I wake up with you. 312 00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:08,072 Now don't you think everybody is entitled 313 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:09,741 to have just a little bit of that? 314 00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:12,059 What would I be without you? 315 00:15:12,153 --> 00:15:14,078 Oh, you'd be fine. 316 00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:16,897 And you're never gonna have to find out because 317 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,709 I'm always gonna be with you. 318 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,923 NICKY: And Mama turned her luck 319 00:15:25,074 --> 00:15:27,817 into a lot of diamonds. 320 00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:29,910 Mm-hmm. 321 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,578 Cut! 322 00:15:31,656 --> 00:15:33,080 Check it. 323 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,581 Hey, Geeg? 324 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,676 Do not follow me. 325 00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:39,753 Or I'm gonna show you where to shove that lump of coal. 326 00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,105 All right, well, I need to talk to you. 327 00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:45,001 Please, I need my best friend right now. 328 00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:46,110 I have a fake date with Wade Stellings. 329 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,095 -Say what now? -It's to show everybody 330 00:15:48,189 --> 00:15:49,781 that I'm moving on. 331 00:15:50,008 --> 00:15:51,932 You've done worse for the press. 332 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,934 Just treat it like a work dinner. 333 00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:56,846 Yep. I slept with him. 334 00:15:56,864 --> 00:15:59,682 Oh. 335 00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:01,751 Now this is getting good. 336 00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:05,521 -So what's the problem? -He's a lot younger than me. 337 00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,781 And I don't even know who I am with a man anymore. 338 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,134 Would you stop thinking for once? 339 00:16:10,286 --> 00:16:12,303 Geez Louise! Just go have fun. 340 00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:15,381 Nobody deserves that more than you do. 341 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:16,882 Really? 342 00:16:17,035 --> 00:16:18,977 Really. 343 00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:22,480 You're still a sneaky, conniving bitch, though. 344 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:29,988 Gigi says now's not the right time for another baby. 345 00:16:30,215 --> 00:16:32,448 And you know how she is. 346 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,384 Yeah, of course I know how she is. 347 00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:36,643 She's a Roman. 348 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,237 She's set in her ways. 349 00:16:38,389 --> 00:16:40,164 Well, every day I'm getting closer to showing. 350 00:16:40,391 --> 00:16:42,834 I mean, there is something we haven't talked about. 351 00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:44,393 What? 352 00:16:44,412 --> 00:16:46,487 I mean, Nicky has no say over us. 353 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,397 There is no us, Luke. 354 00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,416 That's what I'm saying, there could be. 355 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,401 No, there can't. 356 00:16:52,403 --> 00:16:54,737 You are my brother-in-law. And I am in love 357 00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,088 with your sister. 358 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,573 We were a mistake. 359 00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,666 And-and at this rate, 360 00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:01,352 next week's Jerry Springer. 361 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:03,688 You're serious? 362 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,839 You really think that plan of Nicky's is gonna work? 363 00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:07,266 It is ridiculous. 364 00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:10,753 At this point, it's the only hope I've got. 365 00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:12,864 So if you care about me, 366 00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:16,159 please help me hold onto the life I want... 367 00:17:17,686 --> 00:17:19,037 ...with Gigi. 368 00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:26,461 ♪ ♪ 369 00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,275 (laughter) 370 00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:34,034 Um, thank you for dinner. 371 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,444 Hey, I had fun. 372 00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:37,037 Thank you. 373 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,706 And since our publicists set it up, 374 00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,225 it's a tax write-off. 375 00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:42,560 (laughs) 376 00:17:42,787 --> 00:17:45,137 Nicky, I've been crushing on you for years. 377 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,124 I even had your poster up in my dorm room. 378 00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:49,901 I used to fantasize about... 379 00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,736 Yeah, you can stop right there. 380 00:17:51,887 --> 00:17:53,720 ...singing with you 381 00:17:53,815 --> 00:17:56,407 -one day. -(giggles) 382 00:17:58,486 --> 00:18:00,136 Hey... 383 00:18:00,229 --> 00:18:02,062 no disrespect to your marriage, but... 384 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,989 I always hoped you'd be single someday. 385 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,658 (chuckles) 386 00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:07,401 I don't know what to say. 387 00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:08,978 Well... 388 00:18:09,147 --> 00:18:11,631 say you'll do a song with me. 389 00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:15,927 Okay. 390 00:18:16,154 --> 00:18:17,653 (chuckles) 391 00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:20,264 (crowd cheering) 392 00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:22,325 You ready? 393 00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:23,492 Thank you. 394 00:18:23,661 --> 00:18:25,344 Nicky Roman, ladies and gentlemen. 395 00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:27,688 (Lady A's "Need You Now" playing) 396 00:18:31,502 --> 00:18:33,002 Hey, I'm honored. 397 00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:34,195 Let's hear it. 398 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,507 ♪ Picture perfect memories ♪ 399 00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:42,411 -♪ Scattered all around the floor ♪ -Oh, yeah. 400 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,291 ♪ Reaching for the phone 'cause ♪ 401 00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:51,003 ♪ I can't fight it anymore ♪ 402 00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:55,115 BOTH: ♪ And I wonder ♪ 403 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:59,428 ♪ If I ever cross your mind ♪ 404 00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:03,624 NICKY: ♪ For me it happens ♪ 405 00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:06,644 ♪ All the time ♪ 406 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:08,980 ♪ It's a quarter after one ♪ 407 00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:11,149 ♪ I'm all alone ♪ 408 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,152 ♪ And I need you now ♪ 409 00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:17,880 WADE: ♪ And I said I wouldn't call ♪ 410 00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:22,660 ♪ But I'm a little drunk and I need you now ♪ 411 00:19:24,055 --> 00:19:25,663 BOTH: ♪ And I don't know ♪ 412 00:19:25,814 --> 00:19:29,074 ♪ How I can do without ♪ 413 00:19:29,227 --> 00:19:31,652 ♪ I just need you ♪ 414 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:37,550 ♪ Now ♪ 415 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,586 ♪ I just need you ♪ 416 00:19:40,738 --> 00:19:47,092 ♪ Now. ♪ 417 00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:50,021 -There she is. -Thank you. 418 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,691 (clamoring) 419 00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:54,859 Wicky! 420 00:19:54,936 --> 00:19:56,861 Well, that went viral fast. 421 00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:59,179 Given that they've waited all this time in the heat, 422 00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:00,531 might as well give them what they want. 423 00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:02,366 Well, if you insist. 424 00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:04,619 (whooping, cheering) 425 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,782 I'm not that girl on the poster. 426 00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:11,617 Of course you are. 427 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,128 You're exactly like I always thought you'd be. 428 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,091 (cheering, clamoring) 429 00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:27,207 Everybody's shipping "Wicky." 430 00:20:27,301 --> 00:20:29,301 You'll be on next week's cover for sure. 431 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,546 Well, you can send 18 copies to Clive. 432 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,732 One for every single year we were married. 433 00:20:34,883 --> 00:20:36,883 Well, you make the cutest elf. 434 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,069 (chuckles) 435 00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:40,646 That was the best fake date I've ever had. 436 00:20:40,798 --> 00:20:44,891 Hey, when you're done practicing your solo, I'll be in my trailer 437 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,227 later if you want to, um, 438 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,081 roast some chestnuts or... something. 439 00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:52,491 -All right. -(phone rings) 440 00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:53,918 Hey, Mom. 441 00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:55,586 Hey. Are you done filming? 442 00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,255 Do you want me to pick you up? 443 00:20:57,482 --> 00:20:58,238 Not yet. 444 00:20:58,332 --> 00:20:59,757 They said we're running late. 445 00:20:59,984 --> 00:21:01,667 Looks like I'm gonna be here until at least midnight. 446 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,243 Oh, okay, okay. 447 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,929 Well, then call me as soon as you're done. 448 00:21:05,156 --> 00:21:06,973 I will. Love you. 449 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,675 Hey. 450 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,727 Almost too easy. 451 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,985 (piano playing intro to "Cowboy Take Me Away") 452 00:21:20,671 --> 00:21:22,613 ♪ ♪ 453 00:21:29,196 --> 00:21:33,291 ♪ I said I wanna touch the earth ♪ 454 00:21:33,442 --> 00:21:36,627 ♪ I wanna break it in my hands ♪ 455 00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:39,888 ♪ I wanna grow something wild ♪ 456 00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:42,949 ♪ And unruly ♪ 457 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:46,137 ♪ I wanna sleep on the hard ground ♪ 458 00:21:46,364 --> 00:21:50,049 ♪ In the comfort of your arms ♪ 459 00:21:50,201 --> 00:21:53,311 ♪ On a pillow of blue bonnets ♪ 460 00:21:53,462 --> 00:21:56,963 ♪ In a blanket made of stars, oh ♪ 461 00:21:57,058 --> 00:21:59,650 ♪ It sounds good ♪ 462 00:21:59,802 --> 00:22:02,153 ♪ To me ♪ 463 00:22:02,304 --> 00:22:05,639 ♪ I said, cowboy take me ♪ 464 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,900 ♪ Away ♪ 465 00:22:08,069 --> 00:22:10,886 ♪ Fly this girl as high ♪ 466 00:22:10,979 --> 00:22:14,981 ♪ As you can into the wild blue ♪ 467 00:22:15,076 --> 00:22:18,985 ♪ Set me free, oh ♪ 468 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,505 ♪ I pray ♪ 469 00:22:21,732 --> 00:22:25,009 ♪ Closer to heaven above ♪ 470 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,829 ♪ And closer to you ♪ 471 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:32,600 ♪ Closer to you ♪ 472 00:22:33,594 --> 00:22:37,063 (vocalizing) 473 00:22:38,841 --> 00:22:42,342 ♪ Uh-huh. ♪ 474 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:44,528 Not enough cowboys around anymore. 475 00:22:45,606 --> 00:22:47,256 Nope. 476 00:22:47,274 --> 00:22:49,182 You know, when I was a kid, I dressed as a cowboy 477 00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:50,776 for Halloween one year. 478 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,703 I had a lasso and everything. 479 00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:54,613 That's cute. 480 00:22:54,765 --> 00:22:56,615 You don't strike me as a cowboy. 481 00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:58,267 You don't strike me as someone 482 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,252 who wants a cowboy to take her away. 483 00:23:01,288 --> 00:23:03,272 Well, I'd say everybody wants 484 00:23:03,365 --> 00:23:05,966 a cowboy once in their life. 485 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,794 I know your mom built this empire 486 00:23:08,946 --> 00:23:11,296 on being the ideal family and all. 487 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,891 But you don't have to be perfect all the time. 488 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,784 No one is. 489 00:23:15,878 --> 00:23:19,230 My mama always told me that if... 490 00:23:19,457 --> 00:23:21,715 you act like everything is perfect, 491 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,626 then... 492 00:23:23,719 --> 00:23:25,051 it will be. 493 00:23:25,146 --> 00:23:27,129 (chuckles) Don't know if I believe her, but... 494 00:23:27,298 --> 00:23:29,481 Yeah, your mother was a huge loss. 495 00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:31,242 For all of you in different ways. 496 00:23:31,393 --> 00:23:34,136 You talking about my daddy? 497 00:23:34,229 --> 00:23:37,063 I've, I've... tried my best to help him... 498 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,083 Well, no one can be all things to all people 499 00:23:39,234 --> 00:23:40,159 without any help. 500 00:23:40,311 --> 00:23:42,144 Have you ever heard of Dottie Roman? 501 00:23:42,163 --> 00:23:43,421 Yeah, well... 502 00:23:43,572 --> 00:23:45,648 maybe quit worrying about being Dottie. 503 00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:47,983 And just focus on being Nicky for a change. 504 00:23:48,002 --> 00:23:50,169 Well, that is very easy for you to say. 505 00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:52,838 Supposedly a woman has to... 506 00:23:52,990 --> 00:23:55,841 be it all, have it all. 507 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,676 Not if she chooses the right cowboy. 508 00:23:57,828 --> 00:23:59,770 (chuckles) Well, you already 509 00:23:59,997 --> 00:24:01,847 said that... 510 00:24:01,999 --> 00:24:04,591 that's not me. 511 00:24:04,685 --> 00:24:06,669 I can take care of myself. 512 00:24:06,687 --> 00:24:08,170 I'm sure you can. 513 00:24:08,189 --> 00:24:09,688 The question is... 514 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,323 why would you want to? 515 00:24:18,849 --> 00:24:21,000 (laughter) 516 00:24:21,944 --> 00:24:24,536 I can't believe I'm here. 517 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,131 If my mom knew, she'd kill us both. 518 00:24:27,282 --> 00:24:29,300 -Well, should I take you back? -Are you crazy? 519 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,619 Two weeks ago, I was in Albuquerque 520 00:24:32,713 --> 00:24:34,046 studying for my chem finals, 521 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,081 and now I'm here. 522 00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:37,791 With you. 523 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,643 (laughs) 524 00:24:39,795 --> 00:24:41,645 I feel like Cinderella. 525 00:24:41,797 --> 00:24:44,523 Your home is beautiful. 526 00:24:46,393 --> 00:24:48,569 Your whole world is beautiful. 527 00:24:52,066 --> 00:24:54,307 So are you. 528 00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:56,368 (chuckles) 529 00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:04,043 (both laugh) 530 00:25:05,730 --> 00:25:07,988 (door opens, closes) 531 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,632 KAYLA: They're ready for you. 532 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,677 Look at me. 533 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,923 Every time I do this special, I'm five years old again. 534 00:25:18,075 --> 00:25:20,926 Nicky is the perfect pretty princess 535 00:25:21,078 --> 00:25:23,837 and I'm the fat gay Nutcracker. 536 00:25:23,931 --> 00:25:26,098 (laughs) 537 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:27,841 I thought my life had moved past this. 538 00:25:27,935 --> 00:25:29,585 Hey. 539 00:25:29,678 --> 00:25:31,028 You are my Nutcracker. 540 00:25:31,255 --> 00:25:32,512 Well... 541 00:25:32,606 --> 00:25:34,757 let's hope you still feel that way after I go out there 542 00:25:34,850 --> 00:25:36,659 and make a big fool of myself. 543 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,094 Then don't. 544 00:25:39,113 --> 00:25:41,113 What do you mean? 545 00:25:41,265 --> 00:25:43,265 Either walk off this set 546 00:25:43,284 --> 00:25:46,526 and tell your family you're done being their mascot. 547 00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:48,620 Or you quit complaining, you go out there 548 00:25:48,773 --> 00:25:51,123 and you do things your way. 549 00:25:51,275 --> 00:25:54,385 But either way, you just have to be yourself. 550 00:25:55,963 --> 00:25:57,871 So... 551 00:25:57,965 --> 00:26:00,224 get cracking. 552 00:26:10,644 --> 00:26:13,362 (indistinct chatter) 553 00:26:14,222 --> 00:26:15,981 (indistinct whispering) 554 00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:17,499 -Okay. -Okay. 555 00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:19,493 (chatter continues) 556 00:26:23,324 --> 00:26:25,140 Y'all been watching Fake Christmas all week. 557 00:26:25,233 --> 00:26:27,400 Well, I'm fixin' to show y'all something real. 558 00:26:27,494 --> 00:26:29,569 (banjo playing intro to "Born This Way") 559 00:26:29,663 --> 00:26:33,148 ♪ My mama told me when I was young ♪ 560 00:26:33,241 --> 00:26:36,427 ♪ We are all born superstars ♪ 561 00:26:37,504 --> 00:26:41,340 ♪ She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on ♪ 562 00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:44,560 ♪ In the glass of her boudoir ♪ 563 00:26:46,831 --> 00:26:50,165 ♪ "There's nothing wrong with loving who you are ♪ 564 00:26:50,184 --> 00:26:53,018 ♪ "'Cause he made you perfect, babe ♪ 565 00:26:54,355 --> 00:26:58,006 ♪ So hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far" ♪ 566 00:26:58,025 --> 00:27:01,193 ♪ Listen to me when I say ♪ 567 00:27:01,345 --> 00:27:05,681 ♪ I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes ♪ 568 00:27:05,774 --> 00:27:08,684 ♪ I'm on the right track, baby ♪ 569 00:27:08,702 --> 00:27:10,961 ♪ I was born this way ♪ 570 00:27:14,041 --> 00:27:15,749 ♪ Don't be a drag, just be a queen ♪ 571 00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,952 ♪ Don't be a drag, just be a queen, don't be a drag ♪ 572 00:27:19,046 --> 00:27:22,514 ♪ Just be a queen ♪ 573 00:27:23,550 --> 00:27:25,100 (Gigi whoops) 574 00:27:27,388 --> 00:27:29,647 (clapping) 575 00:27:29,874 --> 00:27:33,558 ♪ No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgender life ♪ 576 00:27:33,711 --> 00:27:37,896 ♪ I'm on the right track, baby, I was born to survive ♪ 577 00:27:38,048 --> 00:27:41,717 ♪ I was born this way, hey, I was born this way, hey ♪ 578 00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:44,662 ♪ I'm on the right track, baby ♪ 579 00:27:44,889 --> 00:27:46,555 ♪ I was born this ♪ 580 00:27:46,573 --> 00:27:50,084 ♪ Way. ♪ 581 00:27:51,562 --> 00:27:55,089 (cheering, applause) 582 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:07,259 ♪ I am an old woman ♪ 583 00:28:07,411 --> 00:28:10,170 ♪ Named after my mother ♪ 584 00:28:10,264 --> 00:28:13,598 ♪ My old man is another ♪ 585 00:28:13,693 --> 00:28:17,111 ♪ Child who's grown old ♪ 586 00:28:18,088 --> 00:28:20,406 ♪ If dreams were lightning ♪ 587 00:28:21,349 --> 00:28:24,517 ♪ And thunder were desire ♪ 588 00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:28,096 ♪ This old house would've burned down ♪ 589 00:28:28,098 --> 00:28:31,125 ♪ A long time ago ♪ 590 00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:35,270 ♪ Make me an angel ♪ 591 00:28:35,363 --> 00:28:38,882 ♪ That flies from Montgomery ♪ 592 00:28:39,034 --> 00:28:41,868 ♪ Make me a poster ♪ 593 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,638 ♪ Of an old rodeo ♪ 594 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:49,284 ♪ Just give me one thing ♪ 595 00:28:49,303 --> 00:28:52,788 ♪ That I can hold on to ♪ 596 00:28:52,806 --> 00:28:55,807 ♪ To believe in this livin' ♪ 597 00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:59,978 ♪ Is just a hard way to go ♪ 598 00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:02,722 ♪ To believe in this livin' ♪ 599 00:29:02,816 --> 00:29:07,327 ♪ Is just a hard way to go. ♪ 600 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,500 It's real good, Albie. 601 00:29:15,329 --> 00:29:17,813 I'm gonna have to wrap this up. 602 00:29:17,831 --> 00:29:19,815 Family is gathering 603 00:29:19,833 --> 00:29:21,425 for... 604 00:29:21,576 --> 00:29:24,319 Fake Christmas dinner tonight. 605 00:29:24,338 --> 00:29:27,389 Much as I'd rather be anywhere else. 606 00:29:28,993 --> 00:29:31,009 Care to join us? 607 00:29:31,161 --> 00:29:33,161 Oh, I-I think the Roman family's had 608 00:29:33,180 --> 00:29:35,522 their fill of me for the moment, but thank you. 609 00:29:37,167 --> 00:29:39,485 Nicky worries about you, you know. 610 00:29:41,338 --> 00:29:44,172 Well, I can't say she's wrong to. 611 00:29:44,266 --> 00:29:47,993 Haven't quite been myself since Dot passed. 612 00:29:48,862 --> 00:29:50,529 Holidays can be hard. 613 00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:51,997 Even fake ones. 614 00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:54,866 I never knew my father. 615 00:29:54,943 --> 00:29:57,853 He was out of the picture before I was three. 616 00:29:57,855 --> 00:29:59,946 But it doesn't make it any easier, 617 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,540 especially around the holidays. 618 00:30:01,692 --> 00:30:03,801 What's your point, son? 619 00:30:03,952 --> 00:30:06,953 This Fake Christmas dinner-- 620 00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,056 your family's gonna be missing Dottie. 621 00:30:09,883 --> 00:30:12,309 Don't let 'em miss you, too. 622 00:30:14,496 --> 00:30:16,204 ♪ ♪ 623 00:30:16,298 --> 00:30:19,708 (door opens, closes) 624 00:30:19,726 --> 00:30:22,302 -All right. -Right. 625 00:30:22,396 --> 00:30:24,046 You sure you're ready for this? 626 00:30:24,064 --> 00:30:25,805 Fake Christmas without Mama? 627 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:28,141 Hell, it'll probably be easier than it was with her. 628 00:30:28,235 --> 00:30:30,402 Just promise me you'll go easier on Nicky 629 00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:32,888 than you did at that Christmas set. Please. 630 00:30:32,906 --> 00:30:33,980 Can I ask you? 631 00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,500 Do you think I can really do this? 632 00:30:36,727 --> 00:30:39,911 Become a performer and still stay true to who I am? 633 00:30:40,064 --> 00:30:41,913 If anyone can, it's you. 634 00:30:42,066 --> 00:30:44,508 Even with two kids? 635 00:30:48,330 --> 00:30:49,738 -Are you serious? -Yeah. 636 00:30:49,831 --> 00:30:52,015 Why not ask Luke to help us out? 637 00:30:52,242 --> 00:30:54,184 As much as my siblings drive me crazy, 638 00:30:54,336 --> 00:30:56,687 I'd still hate for Summer to be without one. 639 00:30:57,690 --> 00:30:59,598 Okay. (squeals, laughs) 640 00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:01,099 (both laughing) 641 00:31:01,251 --> 00:31:04,361 ("Jingle Bells" playing) 642 00:31:06,273 --> 00:31:07,105 Nellie. 643 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,848 -Mm. -You have been a busy bee. 644 00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:11,184 Have y'all seen her new QVC commercial? 645 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,612 I bought the entire Nellie Bean collection. 646 00:31:13,764 --> 00:31:15,747 -(laughter) -And I don't even wear lingerie. 647 00:31:15,933 --> 00:31:16,856 (laughter) 648 00:31:16,876 --> 00:31:18,208 Not often, anyway. 649 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:19,618 (laughter) 650 00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:22,045 Thank you, sugar. Well, I think you'd look fine 651 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:26,216 in my signature cream soda beige negligee. 652 00:31:26,326 --> 00:31:29,011 (chuckles softly) It's authentic faux silk. 653 00:31:29,963 --> 00:31:31,796 I got something I want to say. 654 00:31:31,965 --> 00:31:34,132 Albie Roman giving a toast? 655 00:31:34,284 --> 00:31:35,800 This is a Christmas miracle. 656 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,877 I just want to take a minute 657 00:31:37,971 --> 00:31:40,546 to appreciate 658 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:42,882 the woman that brought us all together. 659 00:31:42,976 --> 00:31:44,384 Dottie Roman made up a fake holiday, 660 00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:48,071 but she did it so we'd spend some real time together. 661 00:31:48,223 --> 00:31:50,132 So I hereby promise 662 00:31:50,150 --> 00:31:54,394 on this holy night of Fake Christmas Eve 663 00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:57,639 to step up and help guide this family into the future 664 00:31:57,658 --> 00:31:58,916 like Mama would've wanted. 665 00:31:59,067 --> 00:32:00,992 Merry Fake Christmas, everybody. 666 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:02,920 -Merry Fake Christmas. -(overlapping chatter) 667 00:32:03,147 --> 00:32:04,646 So, time for presents? 668 00:32:04,665 --> 00:32:06,757 -(chuckling) -Unfortunately, won't be any 669 00:32:06,908 --> 00:32:09,167 of Dottie's homemade scarves this year. 670 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,486 Another Christmas miracle. 671 00:32:11,505 --> 00:32:15,674 (indistinct, overlapping chatter) 672 00:32:15,826 --> 00:32:18,009 -For me? -Yeah. 673 00:32:18,162 --> 00:32:20,753 Everybody, so... 674 00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:23,848 there's gonna be a new elf on the shelf next year. 675 00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:25,667 We're trying for another baby. 676 00:32:25,836 --> 00:32:28,278 (squealing, laughter) 677 00:32:30,174 --> 00:32:32,007 Who's the father this time? 678 00:32:32,100 --> 00:32:33,784 -Luke. -Wait, what? 679 00:32:34,011 --> 00:32:36,787 Just don't think about it too hard. Just let it go. 680 00:32:36,938 --> 00:32:38,771 (quiet chatter) 681 00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:40,015 GIGI: Thank you, Daddy. 682 00:32:40,108 --> 00:32:42,125 (laughter, chatter continues) 683 00:32:42,352 --> 00:32:44,378 -(insects trilling) -(door opens) 684 00:32:46,281 --> 00:32:48,190 Merry Christmas, Uncle Luke. 685 00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:51,426 Doesn't quite have the same ring as "Dad," does it? 686 00:32:52,787 --> 00:32:54,304 I know. 687 00:32:55,365 --> 00:32:57,557 But it's better this way for everyone. 688 00:32:59,553 --> 00:33:01,036 Listen, I... 689 00:33:01,129 --> 00:33:02,646 I know you're dealing with a lot. 690 00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:04,314 Mama. Clive. 691 00:33:04,466 --> 00:33:07,559 Now I'm gonna add another problem to your pile. 692 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:09,544 I got a call today 693 00:33:09,563 --> 00:33:12,472 from the assistant prosecutor of Travis County. 694 00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:14,157 They want a meeting. 695 00:33:15,219 --> 00:33:16,735 -Why? -The level of opiates 696 00:33:16,887 --> 00:33:18,478 in Mama's system. 697 00:33:18,572 --> 00:33:19,979 They won't let it go. 698 00:33:19,999 --> 00:33:21,832 -They have questions. -Well, you tell them 699 00:33:21,983 --> 00:33:23,408 the truth-- that you weren't there, 700 00:33:23,485 --> 00:33:25,410 you don't know what happened and you don't know who was. 701 00:33:25,562 --> 00:33:27,229 I'm sorry, Nick, if I wasn't clear. 702 00:33:27,247 --> 00:33:29,898 The prosecutor's questions are for you. 703 00:33:29,916 --> 00:33:32,134 ♪ ♪ 704 00:33:44,081 --> 00:33:45,522 -You done for the night? -(shuts door) 705 00:33:45,673 --> 00:33:47,691 -Yeah. -Mm. 706 00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:50,218 Mm. 707 00:33:51,179 --> 00:33:53,530 So you really did have to work late. 708 00:33:54,516 --> 00:33:56,033 This time. 709 00:33:57,778 --> 00:33:58,777 You knew? 710 00:33:58,929 --> 00:33:59,944 Mm-hmm. 711 00:34:00,097 --> 00:34:01,687 I called set last night to check on you. 712 00:34:01,765 --> 00:34:03,615 They told me they released you hours ago. 713 00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:05,525 Ana, 714 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,860 you're not gonna be a star by sleeping with that boy. 715 00:34:07,954 --> 00:34:09,771 I didn't. Not even close. 716 00:34:09,864 --> 00:34:11,864 (sighs) 717 00:34:12,033 --> 00:34:14,468 -It's just that... -(sighs) 718 00:34:15,962 --> 00:34:18,113 I know people like the Romans. 719 00:34:18,131 --> 00:34:20,373 They use people and they toss them out. 720 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:24,061 And I won't let them do that to you. 721 00:34:25,064 --> 00:34:26,980 Do you understand? 722 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:29,974 ("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing) 723 00:34:30,127 --> 00:34:32,235 (quiet chatter) 724 00:34:35,741 --> 00:34:37,449 DIRECTOR: Okay, Albie. Ready. 725 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,576 And action. 726 00:34:40,821 --> 00:34:42,562 Y'all may not know this, 727 00:34:42,656 --> 00:34:46,732 but I've never been one for Fake Christmas 728 00:34:46,827 --> 00:34:49,086 or real Christmas, for that matter. 729 00:34:49,313 --> 00:34:52,163 Dottie Roman changed all that. 730 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,833 And even though she's not here in person tonight, 731 00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:58,837 her spirit will be part of this special forever. 732 00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:02,599 So happy holidays from us, 733 00:35:02,826 --> 00:35:04,342 and, like Santa, 734 00:35:04,494 --> 00:35:08,179 the Roman family will always be here for you on Christmas, 735 00:35:08,332 --> 00:35:09,940 fake or otherwise. 736 00:35:10,167 --> 00:35:12,692 ("Silent Night" playing) 737 00:35:19,785 --> 00:35:23,695 ♪ Silent night ♪ 738 00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:27,699 ♪ Holy night ♪ 739 00:35:27,851 --> 00:35:31,703 ♪ All is calm ♪ 740 00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:35,632 ♪ All is bright ♪ 741 00:35:35,783 --> 00:35:39,636 ♪ Round yon virgin ♪ 742 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,548 ♪ Mother and child ♪ 743 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:47,051 ♪ Holy infant ♪ 744 00:35:47,204 --> 00:35:51,873 ♪ So tender and mild ♪ 745 00:35:51,892 --> 00:35:55,819 ♪ Sleep in heavenly ♪ 746 00:35:55,896 --> 00:35:59,881 ♪ Peace ♪ 747 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:03,902 ♪ Sleep in heavenly ♪ 748 00:36:04,054 --> 00:36:08,331 ♪ Peace ♪ 749 00:36:11,912 --> 00:36:15,730 ♪ Silent night ♪ 750 00:36:15,865 --> 00:36:19,734 ♪ Holy night ♪ 751 00:36:19,753 --> 00:36:23,738 ♪ Shepherds quake ♪ 752 00:36:23,831 --> 00:36:27,742 ♪ At the sight ♪ 753 00:36:27,761 --> 00:36:31,855 ♪ Glories stream ♪ 754 00:36:32,006 --> 00:36:35,692 ♪ From heaven afar ♪ 755 00:36:35,843 --> 00:36:39,196 ♪ Heavenly hosts ♪ 756 00:36:39,347 --> 00:36:43,033 ♪ Sing hallelujah ♪ 757 00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:46,703 ♪ Christ the Savior ♪ 758 00:36:46,930 --> 00:36:51,766 ♪ Is born ♪ 759 00:36:51,785 --> 00:36:55,103 ♪ Christ the Savior ♪ 760 00:36:55,196 --> 00:36:59,007 ♪ Is born ♪ 761 00:37:00,034 --> 00:37:03,703 -♪ Ooh... ♪ -♪ Ooh... ♪ 762 00:37:03,797 --> 00:37:07,373 ♪ Radiant beams ♪ 763 00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:11,786 -♪ From Thy holy face ♪ -♪ Ooh... ♪ 764 00:37:11,805 --> 00:37:14,547 ♪ With the dawn ♪ 765 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:19,644 ♪ Of redeeming grace ♪ 766 00:37:19,796 --> 00:37:22,814 ♪ Jesus Lord ♪ 767 00:37:22,966 --> 00:37:27,744 ♪ At Thy birth ♪ 768 00:37:27,895 --> 00:37:29,821 Merry Fake Christmas, baby. 769 00:37:29,973 --> 00:37:32,991 ♪ Jesus Lord ♪ 770 00:37:33,143 --> 00:37:37,963 ♪ At Thy birth ♪ 771 00:37:41,501 --> 00:37:46,554 ♪ Mmm... ♪ 772 00:37:49,659 --> 00:37:52,494 Beautiful, beautiful! That's a wrap, folks! 773 00:37:52,662 --> 00:37:54,271 (applause, cheering) 774 00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:57,732 -Great job, everyone! -(indistinct chatter) 775 00:37:59,836 --> 00:38:01,778 (crickets chirping) 776 00:38:02,005 --> 00:38:03,763 -(fire crackling) -Oh. Thank you. 777 00:38:03,857 --> 00:38:05,173 (chuckles softly) 778 00:38:05,191 --> 00:38:06,524 A little late, Albie. 779 00:38:06,676 --> 00:38:09,010 What's so important that it couldn't wait? 780 00:38:09,103 --> 00:38:10,453 Sit down, Nell. 781 00:38:16,536 --> 00:38:19,713 You and Dot were thick as thieves. 782 00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:23,049 All right. 783 00:38:24,136 --> 00:38:25,802 Dottie said something fore she passed. 784 00:38:25,953 --> 00:38:28,471 She said that she'd done something. 785 00:38:28,623 --> 00:38:29,864 Something... 786 00:38:29,883 --> 00:38:31,624 that was unforgivable. 787 00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:33,626 Well, it was Dottie. 788 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:36,146 We might want to narrow that down a touch. 789 00:38:36,373 --> 00:38:37,372 Nellie. 790 00:38:37,541 --> 00:38:39,057 Think. 791 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:41,151 This is important. 792 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:43,820 (sighs) You know... 793 00:38:44,047 --> 00:38:44,970 (sighs) 794 00:38:45,139 --> 00:38:46,972 She swore me to secrecy. 795 00:38:47,141 --> 00:38:50,327 A sister's loyalty survives death. 796 00:38:50,403 --> 00:38:52,329 You live rent-free on my property. 797 00:38:52,556 --> 00:38:55,165 You got loyalty to me, too, Nell. 798 00:39:01,565 --> 00:39:06,009 You remember that barn fire 40 or so years ago? 799 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,903 Yeah, I was on tour. It burned to the ground. 800 00:39:08,922 --> 00:39:11,014 And... 801 00:39:11,165 --> 00:39:13,091 and you were told that Rosa, 802 00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:14,576 your lady friend, 803 00:39:14,594 --> 00:39:16,603 caused that fire... 804 00:39:17,764 --> 00:39:19,171 ...and ran off 805 00:39:19,265 --> 00:39:21,583 so she wouldn't be blamed. 806 00:39:21,601 --> 00:39:22,600 That's right. 807 00:39:22,752 --> 00:39:24,694 Because that was Dottie's story. 808 00:39:24,846 --> 00:39:25,937 And no one questioned her. 809 00:39:26,106 --> 00:39:29,181 But let me ask you this. 810 00:39:29,275 --> 00:39:33,761 How do you think Dottie's horses got out safe? 811 00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:35,538 Ahead of time? 812 00:39:41,195 --> 00:39:42,270 (distorted yelling) 813 00:39:42,363 --> 00:39:43,546 ♪ ♪ 814 00:39:47,201 --> 00:39:49,427 Rosa didn't cause that fire. 815 00:39:51,873 --> 00:39:54,265 And she didn't run off. 816 00:39:56,210 --> 00:39:58,019 (distorted yelling) 817 00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:01,231 ♪ ♪ 818 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:06,277 (screaming) 819 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:10,407 ♪ ♪ 820 00:40:19,901 --> 00:40:22,460 She died in that fire. 821 00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,906 Just as Dottie intended. 822 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,925 No. No. 823 00:40:29,002 --> 00:40:30,652 No, she wouldn't have. 824 00:40:30,670 --> 00:40:33,412 Lord knows she had a temper, but come on, Nell. 825 00:40:33,432 --> 00:40:36,991 She saw Rosa as a threat to your future together. 826 00:40:37,010 --> 00:40:38,435 Your family. 827 00:40:38,586 --> 00:40:41,253 The dynasty she was building. 828 00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:43,273 She didn't have to worry. 829 00:40:44,334 --> 00:40:46,985 Rosa wasn't a threat to anything. 830 00:40:48,930 --> 00:40:51,531 Well, Dottie didn't like to take chances. 831 00:40:57,864 --> 00:41:00,039 Good night. 832 00:41:01,201 --> 00:41:04,127 (door opens, closes) 833 00:41:17,367 --> 00:41:19,867 -So, what now? -(sighs) 834 00:41:19,961 --> 00:41:22,145 Daddy. 835 00:41:22,964 --> 00:41:24,814 Go inside. 836 00:41:24,966 --> 00:41:27,132 Hug your babies. 837 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,393 Try to get some sleep. 838 00:41:29,546 --> 00:41:31,729 And the rest... 839 00:41:31,881 --> 00:41:34,532 is tomorrow's problem. 840 00:41:36,978 --> 00:41:38,995 (exhales) 841 00:41:43,651 --> 00:41:47,128 ♪ ♪ 842 00:42:03,429 --> 00:42:05,396 ♪ ♪ 843 00:42:22,432 --> 00:42:24,332 ♪ ♪ 844 00:42:30,456 --> 00:42:31,381 Hey. 845 00:42:31,532 --> 00:42:32,865 Ace? 846 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:34,776 Hey, what are you... 847 00:42:34,794 --> 00:42:36,052 what are you doing? 848 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,352 I saw it all. 849 00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:48,439 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org