1
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‎（人資部）

2
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‎“我見到妳那一刻，感覺就像…”

3
00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:53,583
‎妳在我胸口打一個洞
‎然後用手握住我的心

4
00:00:53,666 --> 00:00:56,666
‎妳的每句話，妳的每個眼神

5
00:00:56,750 --> 00:01:00,250
‎擠壓我的心，把血液灌注到我的血管

6
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:02,875
‎賦予我生命

7
00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:06,916
‎有時候連看著妳
‎都讓我心痛，因為想到

8
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,458
‎我們認識前的那些日子我就很難過

9
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,666
‎我們認識前時間存在嗎？

10
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:14,083
‎去死！

11
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:15,750
‎那個渾蛋

12
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:18,500
‎讓我愛上他和他多出來那幾根屌

13
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,916
‎蘿榭兒，我要跟妳談談

14
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,125
‎我不想談，但我現在
‎只想嘿咻洩恨，我們走

15
00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:29,208
‎其實我就是想跟妳談這件事

16
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,958
‎我無法跟妳嘿咻，只是讓妳洩恨

17
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:32,833
‎-什麼？
‎-我需要更多

18
00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:36,500
‎-你終於要讓我跟你肛交？
‎-不是

19
00:01:36,583 --> 00:01:38,833
‎我希望我們能交往

20
00:01:38,916 --> 00:01:41,208
‎老天，彼特，我已經跟你說過了

21
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:43,875
‎仇恨蟲不搞愛愛那一套

22
00:01:43,958 --> 00:01:45,041
‎但是蘿榭兒

23
00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:49,166
‎妳是我認識的生物當中最棒的

24
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:50,875
‎-妳聰明、才華洋溢…
‎-彼特…

25
00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:53,208
‎又風趣，雖然開玩笑的對象是我

26
00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:57,416
‎-你到底想說什麼？
‎-我猜我想說的是我…

27
00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,250
‎-我愛妳，蘿榭兒
‎-什麼？

28
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,583
‎對，我愛妳

29
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‎我愛妳

30
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,333
‎我想跟妳這樣說想好久了

31
00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:09,916
‎我得告訴妳，這樣說嘴唇好舒服哦

32
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,833
‎彼特，看看我，我現在不適合談愛情

33
00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:15,750
‎但妳知道妳並不是仇恨蟲，妳不算

34
00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:20,583
‎妳是愛蟲
‎妳對愛情很有一套，妳天生就是這樣

35
00:02:20,666 --> 00:02:23,166
‎所以要愛，拜託

36
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,875
‎彼特，我不知道

37
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:28,666
‎男人都這樣，跟妳說妳是什麼樣的人

38
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,166
‎不，我不是…

39
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,083
‎石像，我不是跟你說話

40
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:34,583
‎怨恨將軍，妳怎麼會來這裡？

41
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:37,333
‎蘿榭兒希荷斯，我是來找妳

42
00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:39,833
‎-好
‎-到會議室

43
00:02:39,916 --> 00:02:44,208
‎好，那我們就等一下再說？

44
00:02:44,291 --> 00:02:46,916
‎我就把赤裸裸的心留在妳辦公桌上

45
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,500
‎怨恨將軍來這裡幹嘛？

46
00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:51,833
‎我不知道，她來找蘿榭兒

47
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,625
‎她是仇恨部門的老大

48
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,000
‎就是因為她，猴子才會朝彼此丟大便

49
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:02,916
‎這裡好冷，不會？
‎妳跟我，我們都是冷血動物

50
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,750
‎怨恨將軍，妳找我有什麼事？

51
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:10,083
‎-直接說重點，不要前戲
‎-對

52
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:13,166
‎蘿榭兒希荷斯，我一直在注意妳

53
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:15,166
‎-看到妳我就想到我自己
‎-真的？

54
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:18,833
‎對，我以前也是愛蟲

55
00:03:18,916 --> 00:03:20,333
‎妳當過愛蟲？

56
00:03:21,041 --> 00:03:26,208
‎對，我被“感覺”和“親吻”支配

57
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:28,291
‎愛情幾乎毀了我

58
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,750
‎我整天哭，覺得自己好可憐

59
00:03:32,958 --> 00:03:36,541
‎然後我告訴自己
‎“不！我不要再心碎”

60
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:40,500
‎-現在害別人心碎的是我
‎-我喜歡

61
00:03:40,583 --> 00:03:42,875
‎仇恨很容易，仇恨很有力

62
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:46,291
‎仇恨…該怎麼說？把事情搞定

63
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,500
‎好，那妳來找我做什麼？

64
00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:52,000
‎到仇恨部門上班，替我工作

65
00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:54,416
‎妳再也不會為情所傷

66
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,000
‎妳是說全職員工？

67
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,875
‎蘿榭兒，妳內心的仇恨很強烈

68
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:02,041
‎想想妳是誰，妳想成為什麼樣的人

69
00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:04,541
‎然後再跟我說，好嗎？

70
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:11,041
‎可惡，我該怎麼辦？
‎我是愛蟲還是仇恨蟲？

71
00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:14,708
‎我是誰？

72
00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:19,416
‎我是誰？

73
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,041
‎當妳是愛

74
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:27,041
‎妳是光與笑聲

75
00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:32,208
‎妳把歡樂與奇妙帶到人間

76
00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:35,458
‎每顆心都渴望妳的火焰

77
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,541
‎每首歌都頌揚妳

78
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:41,583
‎大家在呼喚妳，願意為妳而死

79
00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:45,541
‎妳是救贖者也是明星

80
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:49,916
‎對，妳就是愛

81
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,333
‎寶貝，真是鬼扯

82
00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:56,083
‎妳知道妳恨到骨子裡

83
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:59,500
‎當妳的憤怒失控，看著大家

84
00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:02,416
‎嚇得落荒而逃真好玩

85
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,708
‎軟弱沒有用

86
00:05:05,791 --> 00:05:08,416
‎只會害妳傷心

87
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,041
‎所以讓我們加把勁
‎把妳變成超級壞女人

88
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:16,625
‎看海水分成兩半

89
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:17,666
‎耶

90
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,750
‎我是愛的光芒，明亮又溫柔

91
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:23,708
‎我是仇恨，晦暗又強烈

92
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,125
‎我為了優雅與良善而生

93
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:29,708
‎不，妳一直都很邪惡

94
00:05:29,791 --> 00:05:35,000
‎這兩個我無法並存，我必須選擇

95
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:38,458
‎我知道我選擇哪一個

96
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:45,625
‎我選擇愛

97
00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:51,833
‎蘿榭兒，天啊，看看妳

98
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,791
‎妳又變回愛蟲了
‎裡面發生了什麼事？

99
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:58,875
‎彼特，我選擇愛情
‎你說得對，這就是我

100
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,458
‎是不是也表示妳選擇…

101
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:03,291
‎你，對，我選擇你

102
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:06,083
‎天啊，太酷了

103
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,458
‎你是個好石像，你永遠不會傷我的心

104
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:10,583
‎永遠不會，我也選擇愛情

105
00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:12,541
‎我選擇愛情

106
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:14,791
‎-不要用唱的
‎-好，對不起

107
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,083
‎吻我就好

108
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:21,375
‎我得說，我有點擔心
‎因為妳在裡面待了好久

109
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:24,500
‎我以為那個蜥蜴女士
‎要找妳到仇恨部門上班

110
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:28,500
‎對，如果我聽她的，不知道會怎麼樣

111
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:33,875
‎我選擇仇恨

112
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:37,041
‎蘿榭兒？裡面發生了什麼事？

113
00:06:37,125 --> 00:06:40,375
‎怨恨將軍要找我
‎到仇恨部門上班，賤人

114
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:43,333
‎什麼？不，妳不可以

115
00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:45,083
‎-你說什麼？
‎-妳是愛蟲

116
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:48,458
‎-不要告訴我我是什麼
‎-不，我絕對不會，我只是…

117
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,791
‎彼特，我看起來有張屎臉嗎？

118
00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,166
‎什麼？當然不是

119
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:55,666
‎-那你幹嘛想改變我？
‎-什麼？不，我沒有

120
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,666
‎只是如果妳是仇恨蟲

121
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,958
‎我沒辦法再這樣下去

122
00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,416
‎你以為我在乎？
‎我才不，我們之間到此為止

123
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,833
‎什麼？不，妳不是這個意思

124
00:07:05,916 --> 00:07:08,166
‎我是，現在閃開

125
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,458
‎蘿榭兒

126
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:13,541
‎但願有個宇宙，在那裡妳會愛我

127
00:07:15,291 --> 00:07:16,916
‎看起來有哦

128
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,875
‎但那個時間軸的彼特不一樣

129
00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:21,833
‎他看起來開心多了

130
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:23,708
‎我好開心！

131
00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:29,375
‎嘿，艾莉絲

132
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:34,125
‎我好氣自己
‎還在為那次爛約會的事生氣

133
00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:37,916
‎別再想那個魯蛇夏恩
‎妳需要的是愛妳自己

134
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,625
‎妳是說自慰那種爽

135
00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:44,791
‎其實我是說按摩
‎但是那種爽可以開心一下午

136
00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:45,958
‎老天，叫夏恩去死

137
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:49,375
‎我們看看有沒有
‎能把狗大便寄到某人家裡的app

138
00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,208
‎如果沒有，我們就自己寫一個

139
00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:55,875
‎-是我房東朋友打來的
‎-妳把電郵給太多人了

140
00:07:56,416 --> 00:07:59,750
‎嗨，艾莉絲，天啊
‎謝謝妳接我們的電話

141
00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,708
‎-他是薩爾
‎-嗨，薩爾

142
00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:03,375
‎我喜歡你的帽子

143
00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,083
‎那個小鬼好可愛

144
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:08,041
‎他的學校要把他
‎跟其他有身心障礙的孩子

145
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,708
‎編到“特殊但同等”班級

146
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,958
‎-哦，不行
‎-不可以

147
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:16,166
‎-薩爾，不要，拜託，媽在講電話
‎-我們已經打電話給校長…

148
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:18,166
‎妳也對他媽的星星許願嗎？

149
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:22,375
‎這個世界很爛，大家只怕羞辱和暴力

150
00:08:22,875 --> 00:08:24,125
‎賤人，別想給我起來

151
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,666
‎好，妳會幫我們嗎？

152
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:28,000
‎妳知道我討厭這種能力分班的鳥事

153
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,833
‎太不公平了

154
00:08:29,916 --> 00:08:32,875
‎女士們，我們去讓他們好看

155
00:08:32,958 --> 00:08:34,333
‎-來吧
‎-謝謝妳

156
00:08:34,416 --> 00:08:38,041
‎可愛的小鬼，聽到了嗎？
‎我們要把你的學校燒成灰

157
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:42,875
‎-那個小鬼咕噥兩聲就掛電話嗎？
‎-尊重

158
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:46,541
‎雞肉沙拉賣完了是什麼意思？

159
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,750
‎-我可以到廚房問問
‎-我有個更好的辦法

160
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:51,583
‎你拿一坨大便吃怎麼樣？

161
00:08:51,666 --> 00:08:53,333
‎康妮，我有個重要的問題要問妳

162
00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:57,416
‎妳的答案不會有實質影響

163
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,000
‎但是妳覺得我看起來很肥嗎？

164
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,666
‎-小莫，感覺像是陷阱題
‎-哦，不是

165
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,833
‎只是生完小孩後，我身材還沒恢復

166
00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:07,583
‎我感覺像一輛載滿垃圾的垃圾車

167
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:08,916
‎是你自己說的，不是我

168
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,333
‎-今天的特餐是兩天玉米捲餅
‎-你不是才說你覺得自己很肥？

169
00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:16,041
‎我知道，聽聽這個形容，感覺好好吃

170
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:20,500
‎“這個底部軟爛的
‎超大捲餅想法來自睡袋

171
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:23,750
‎裡面塞滿牛絞肉
‎豬肉、豆子和培根”

172
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:27,916
‎“大到可以吃兩天”

173
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,208
‎小莫，拜託不要點那個

174
00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:33,458
‎好，所以妳覺得
‎我該點什麼健康的東西？

175
00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:36,500
‎健康？誰在乎健康
‎反正我們早晚都會死

176
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,291
‎她說得很有道理

177
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:39,916
‎給我死亡玉米捲餅

178
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:44,500
‎拜託，蘿榭兒
‎他的肚子不需要多十幾公斤的肉

179
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,041
‎我像他的營養師嗎？我才不在乎

180
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:49,416
‎老天，我懷念愛蟲蘿榭兒

181
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,708
‎她不會那麼壞

182
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,458
‎小莫，你沒有點兩天玉米捲餅吧

183
00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:58,541
‎身體是你的殿堂
‎親愛的，吃點健康的東西

184
00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:00,375
‎好，蘿榭兒，謝謝妳

185
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:02,708
‎我要點…

186
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,750
‎花園沙拉

187
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:08,541
‎這個蘿榭兒實在太好了

188
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,791
‎看看妳，又變回愛蟲了

189
00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:14,666
‎怎麼會？妳想念有手臂嗎？

190
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:17,583
‎-是彼特
‎-蘿榭兒，我替妳點了餅乾

191
00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:19,750
‎-噢，寶貝
‎-“寶貝”？

192
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,791
‎什麼？妳跟彼特？

193
00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:24,166
‎你們現在是一對？

194
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:28,333
‎我們是，我必須說我好快樂

195
00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:31,958
‎我也是，沒想到感覺會這麼好

196
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:34,041
‎我可是在游泳池裡破解過魔術方塊

197
00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,666
‎太好了

198
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,250
‎我以為妳很喜歡當仇恨蟲

199
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,625
‎要大家大便在手上再吃掉…

200
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,250
‎對，艾咪，我對於大家

201
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,291
‎該怎麼處理他們的大便有獨特見解

202
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:49,166
‎但是現在我選擇愛情，感覺真的很棒

203
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:54,250
‎我剛收到一封電郵
‎是橄欖園餐廳的免費優惠券

204
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,208
‎那種事有什麼重要？

205
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,708
‎我不知道，但感覺很重要，對吧？

206
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,666
‎好，小莫，算你厲害

207
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,291
‎我看過你把蔬菜塞進小菊花

208
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,875
‎但從沒看過你把蔬菜塞進嘴巴

209
00:11:04,958 --> 00:11:06,375
‎我感覺好有活力

210
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,666
‎想想如果我點了那個

211
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:12,333
‎超大的兩天捲餅，我會多慘

212
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,541
‎老天，這個捲餅太大了

213
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:18,166
‎一天怎麼吃得完？

214
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:20,125
‎你本來就不應該一天吃完

215
00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:24,208
‎然後我說：“不，左手伸出來

216
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,833
‎把大便大在上面”

217
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:30,791
‎蘿榭兒
‎妳是告訴大家大便該大在哪裡的女王

218
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,000
‎她喜歡坐在那邊，對不對？

219
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:37,166
‎我很高興
‎她找到她所愛的，因為真的她不愛我

220
00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:39,958
‎彼特，這樣不好看

221
00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,416
‎我暗戀的對象也不理我了

222
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,583
‎但我沒有當眾讓自己難堪

223
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,041
‎-凡來了
‎-凡！

224
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,208
‎凡，這邊，我替妳留了一個位子

225
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:53,625
‎不管我做錯了什麼，妳就別再生氣了

226
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,333
‎拜託，老天，愛我就好

227
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,375
‎親愛的，妳說得對
‎妳一點都沒讓自己難堪

228
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:02,708
‎-艾咪，會不會是我們兩個都很爛？
‎-是哦

229
00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:06,000
‎-不，我們很好
‎-我不知道

230
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,166
‎知道我們需要什麼？

231
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:12,375
‎我們要狂喝伏特加調酒
‎喝到連酒保都要替我們擔心

232
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:15,583
‎-我不想
‎-我們要喝醉

233
00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:18,333
‎好，但我要邊喝邊哭

234
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,333
‎沒關係，酒吧就是讓人哭的地方

235
00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:25,500
‎我剛收到一封電郵
‎是橄欖園餐廳的免費優待券

236
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,458
‎那種事有什麼重要？

237
00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:30,958
‎我不知道
‎但一定很重要吧？因為我說了兩次

238
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:32,666
‎身心障礙者的權益…

239
00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,166
‎就是人權！

240
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,666
‎身心障礙者的權益…

241
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,375
‎就是人權！

242
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:42,791
‎這所學校想把
‎身心障礙的學生藏在地下室

243
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:45,541
‎還有星期五午餐供應的東西不叫披薩

244
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,250
‎而是有熱番茄醬的硬紙板

245
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,208
‎校董會那些渾蛋會讓步，我有預感

246
00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:53,458
‎-我也是
‎-這個賤女人？

247
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:54,875
‎妳來幹嘛？

248
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,833
‎我的艾莉絲把大家聚在這裡？

249
00:12:57,916 --> 00:13:00,041
‎希望怎麼可以不來呢？

250
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:01,458
‎看我的咪咪彈！

251
00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:04,083
‎不，別想把功勞攬在自己身上

252
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:07,375
‎這次抗議是仇恨把大家聚在一起

253
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:11,041
‎對，我看得出來
‎蘿榭兒，妳怎麼變這樣？

254
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:14,000
‎我聽信妳的鬼話，我不會再犯了

255
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:16,125
‎艾莉絲不需要妳，滾吧

256
00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:18,166
‎妳知道妳無權決定

257
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:22,041
‎-艾莉絲，他是我哥戴維
‎-也是我們的律師

258
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:25,333
‎-而且真的好吸引人
‎-他有好消息

259
00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:28,500
‎好，校董會同意會審查妳的請願

260
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,541
‎好，那是第一步

261
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:32,916
‎都要謝謝艾莉絲

262
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,083
‎對，艾莉絲和她凶惡的鬥牛犬叫聲

263
00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:40,375
‎大家都知道
‎那個凶惡的鬥牛犬叫聲哪裡來的？

264
00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:43,416
‎艾莉絲希望她能改變世界

265
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:47,000
‎我喜歡！值得發射咪咪彈慶祝！

266
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:48,083
‎夠了！

267
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:53,291
‎我不想跟妳說實話
‎但從後面發射感覺更好

268
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,708
‎我好期待今晚的浪漫壽司晚餐

269
00:13:56,791 --> 00:13:57,833
‎我也是

270
00:13:57,916 --> 00:14:01,583
‎我把恆溫計調整到舒適的23度

271
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,875
‎不，22度，生魚片

272
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,041
‎彼特，你真是怪咖，我喜歡

273
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,375
‎蘿榭兒，我愛妳

274
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,875
‎我也愛你，彼特

275
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,708
‎天啊，真的？

276
00:14:14,791 --> 00:14:16,541
‎對，真的

277
00:14:19,708 --> 00:14:21,250
‎妳怎麼沒發光？

278
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:24,708
‎要留到今晚，那樣才特別

279
00:14:24,791 --> 00:14:27,041
‎老天，我喜歡特別

280
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,916
‎6點45分準時見

281
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:31,958
‎-我愛妳
‎-我愛你

282
00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:34,833
‎-“我愛你”？好
‎-艾咪，不要說了

283
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:38,125
‎我只是說我看過妳為了塔可餅發光

284
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:41,458
‎-那種愛不一樣
‎-妳為電視廣告上那個傑克發光

285
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,958
‎對，他助人，妳想說什麼？

286
00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:46,625
‎沒什麼，彼特是個敏感的石像

287
00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:49,375
‎-我不想看到他傷心
‎-他不會

288
00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:52,250
‎今晚他會看到
‎我屁股發出來的光，因為我愛他

289
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:56,125
‎-口氣很怪，但很棒，蘿榭兒
‎-謝謝妳，是很棒

290
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,875
‎《蘿榭兒為彼特發光》
‎很快就會在各地戲院上映

291
00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:02,166
‎限制級，來真的哦，好，我要走了

292
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:05,458
‎老天，新來的小鮮肉？

293
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:10,625
‎康妮，是《青春無密語》
‎那個小莫，我現在很健康

294
00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:15,000
‎更好，老肉新包裝，怎麼會這樣？

295
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,750
‎一份花園沙拉徹底改變我的個性

296
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:22,000
‎有道理，我想跟你嘿咻，拜託

297
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:26,625
‎我也想，但是很可惜我要先去跑步

298
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,458
‎你要去跑步？

299
00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:30,583
‎今晚是我們的吸毒約會夜

300
00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:35,333
‎甜心，我不再吸毒了
‎蘿榭兒說得對，身體是我的殿堂

301
00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:37,166
‎可惡，蘿榭兒

302
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:41,625
‎我甚至不記得
‎從前那個我，那個邋遢的老怪物

303
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:46,541
‎我就知道我一天能吃掉整個捲餅

304
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:49,666
‎小莫，今晚應該是吸毒約會夜

305
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:53,208
‎如果你還在跟捲餅口交
‎我們要怎麼吃迷幻藥？

306
00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:57,791
‎我連那麼小顆的迷幻藥都吃不下

307
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:02,166
‎小莫，你的玉米捲餅在跟我玩躲貓貓

308
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:05,541
‎糟了

309
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,875
‎大家閃邊去，我的小菊花要爆開了

310
00:16:08,958 --> 00:16:11,083
‎艾咪，我得承認妳說得對

311
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:13,875
‎酒精的確能讓人麻木

312
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,000
‎我說吧

313
00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:18,666
‎喝幾杯後你還是很傷心
‎但再多喝幾杯，就變得很開心

314
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:22,750
‎如果你繼續喝，就什麼都感覺不到

315
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,083
‎等不及了

316
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:27,583
‎我甩了他之後他就哭了
‎有看過石像掉眼淚嗎？

317
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:31,291
‎沒有，但我有次
‎看到一個人從山上掉下去

318
00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,333
‎他像這樣大叫，“啊！”

319
00:16:33,416 --> 00:16:37,500
‎天啊，我要什麼都感覺不到

320
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:43,375
‎我覺得好有生命力
‎現在要幹嘛？砸爛一艘船？

321
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,500
‎我想到更好的，我們拿保齡球砸車

322
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:50,333
‎聽起來會釀成大災難，我砸定了

323
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:53,916
‎-耶
‎-哦，耶

324
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,125
‎-就那裡
‎-真的？

325
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:59,041
‎-妳能接受我只有一根屌？
‎-彼特，不要再那樣問

326
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:00,708
‎好，對不起，我…

327
00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:02,291
‎-哦，可惡
‎-天啊！

328
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:05,250
‎-不，沒關係，繼續做
‎-好，對不起

329
00:17:05,333 --> 00:17:06,500
‎我只是好愛妳

330
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:08,958
‎彼特，我也愛你

331
00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:12,791
‎天啊！妳發光了，就跟妳說的一樣

332
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:16,666
‎計畫有圓滿結果真好！

333
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,458
‎-那是什麼？
‎-沒什麼，只是妹妹排氣

334
00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:25,875
‎對不起，我沒聽清楚

335
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:29,000
‎蘿榭兒，妳的妹妹
‎聽起來怎麼很像Siri？

336
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:32,125
‎因為你那根雞雞把我搞得好爽？

337
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,125
‎等等，妳把手機放在屁股裡面？

338
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,791
‎什麼？當然沒有

339
00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:41,166
‎-天啊，妳的發光是假的
‎-我可以解釋

340
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,541
‎-妳顯然不愛我
‎-我在想辦法！

341
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:48,000
‎妳在“想辦法”？對不起我這麼難愛

342
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:51,083
‎我是說我想辦法讓我們成為一對

343
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:54,000
‎你貼心又真誠，又對我有益

344
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:57,250
‎“對妳有益”？
‎天啊，我聽起來像什麼維他命

345
00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:58,541
‎彼特，拜託，我…

346
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,750
‎-我要走了
‎-不要走！

347
00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:03,875
‎說真的，妳要把手機弄乾淨

348
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,208
‎-把手機殼拿下來，好好擦乾淨
‎-天啊，彼特，拜託

349
00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:09,083
‎-蘿榭兒，再見
‎-彼特，等等！

350
00:18:10,416 --> 00:18:14,208
‎我幹嘛給仇恨蟲最後通牒？

351
00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:17,916
‎女性主義者不會下最後通牒

352
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,416
‎首先，我們會

353
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:25,250
‎其次，你那樣做是因為你是好男人

354
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,708
‎我不知道

355
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,791
‎你善良又面面俱到

356
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:33,166
‎有幸的人才會被你堅硬如石的雞雞

357
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,375
‎戳進屁屁

358
00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:36,916
‎真的？

359
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,541
‎對，你心地善良

360
00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:41,833
‎你絕對不會傷害別人

361
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:45,916
‎除非你從山坡上滾下去
‎把底下正在露營的人壓扁

362
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,291
‎我是很重

363
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:50,625
‎你是，但我每天坐在你旁邊

364
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:54,041
‎即使我把你搞得很煩

365
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:56,416
‎你一次都沒幹掉我

366
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,375
‎我愛你

367
00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,625
‎艾咪，我也愛妳

368
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,791
‎你值得有一個最好的對象

369
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,291
‎-敬我們
‎-好

370
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,166
‎叫那些不愛我們的渾蛋去死吧

371
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:09,750
‎-慘了！我心臟病發作了
‎-什麼？

372
00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:12,458
‎大家別再喝了，看看我的問題

373
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,166
‎小莫，不要死在我面前

374
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:19,500
‎我拒絕當單親媽媽
‎如果你掛了，我會丟下蒙特爾不管

375
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:21,750
‎幫我找個醫生

376
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:25,166
‎彼特，你要開車
‎載這個沒跟我結婚的胖子到醫院

377
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:29,166
‎我不該開車
‎因為我喝了不少杯雞尾酒

378
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:31,083
‎康妮，妳為什麼不載我去？

379
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:33,083
‎渾蛋，因為

380
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:36,250
‎我決定今晚自己享受吸毒約會夜

381
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,541
‎現在我好嗨，看什麼都是蛋蛋

382
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,250
‎我左邊蛋蛋好痛

383
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,791
‎彼特，他會死

384
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:46,541
‎我來開車，我喝醉時車開得更好

385
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:47,958
‎不要吧

386
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:54,125
‎我快死了，英年早逝

387
00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:56,250
‎康妮，我該聽妳的話

388
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:59,500
‎白痴，把那句話刺青在額頭上

389
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:01,916
‎拜託，艾咪，開快點

390
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,291
‎我在快了，好嗎？但是外頭雨下好大

391
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:11,208
‎我想這不是心臟病突發，是別的

392
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,250
‎-不會吧
‎-不要說

393
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:14,833
‎是腸脹氣！

394
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,541
‎天啊，不會吧！不要是腸脹氣

395
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:20,375
‎我表姊的老公因為腸脹氣死掉

396
00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:22,041
‎小莫，他有小孩

397
00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:24,458
‎現在那些孩子沒有父親

398
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:27,666
‎也就是說母親要獨自扶養小孩

399
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:31,333
‎我應該點花園沙拉

400
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:35,125
‎還好我點花園沙拉，感覺好有生命力

401
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,875
‎小莫，你跑完了嗎？

402
00:20:37,958 --> 00:20:40,375
‎我想跟你煥然一新的身體做愛

403
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:45,041
‎沃特，謝謝你帶我們到橄欖園餐廳

404
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:47,583
‎我跟你們說他們會再給優惠券

405
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:51,041
‎橄欖園餐廳，我們肉很多！

406
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,416
‎瑞克，那是艾比餐廳的廣告詞啦

407
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,083
‎彼特，你好可悲

408
00:20:56,625 --> 00:21:00,000
‎你以為只有一根雞雞
‎你就能跟她在一起？

409
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:05,375
‎蘿榭兒，為什麼我以為妳會愛我？

410
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:06,875
‎彼特，拜託開慢一點

411
00:21:06,958 --> 00:21:10,875
‎嘿咻時用屁眼夾手機
‎怎麼會錯得這麼離譜？

412
00:21:10,958 --> 00:21:11,875
‎彼特！

413
00:21:13,708 --> 00:21:15,333
‎拿保齡球砸車太好玩了！

414
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:18,291
‎妳到仇恨部門上班
‎我們每星期二都這樣玩

415
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:23,125
‎這太好玩了
‎我保證很快就會答覆妳

416
00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:27,083
‎別考慮太久，妳不會想跟我成為敵人

417
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:28,166
‎我開玩笑的啦

418
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,708
‎但我不是，我真的是心理變態

419
00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:37,166
‎在這個時間軸
‎我們也要去橄欖園餐廳

420
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,708
‎嗨，派對巴士

421
00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:42,791
‎那是蘿榭兒？拿一顆保齡球那個？

422
00:21:42,875 --> 00:21:46,125
‎誰在乎？我的腸子快爆炸了

423
00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:49,875
‎你要快放屁，免得把肚子撐破

424
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:53,041
‎-我放不出來！
‎-小莫，讓我坐在你身上

425
00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:54,833
‎我的屁股在你的肚子上

426
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,333
‎康妮，我好怕

427
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,500
‎我的屁股能幫你把屁放出來

428
00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:01,916
‎好，小莫，我來了！

429
00:22:03,875 --> 00:22:06,041
‎-好猛
‎-小莫，你辦到了

430
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:09,041
‎天啊，我滿嘴都是

431
00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:10,875
‎把我眼睛灼傷了！

432
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:12,875
‎我看不見！我瞎了！

433
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:14,958
‎艾咪，看路！

434
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:18,125
‎瑞克，我再說一次

435
00:22:18,208 --> 00:22:22,041
‎“I'm Lovin' It”是麥當勞的廣告詞
‎不是橄欖園餐廳的，搞什麼？

436
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,166
‎誰都別想用保齡球撞翻我的車

437
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:30,791
‎可惡，洗溝了

438
00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,125
‎我們差點送命嗎？

439
00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:40,625
‎真的，我還是看不見
‎我想我得了結膜炎了

440
00:22:40,708 --> 00:22:43,541
‎妳喝醉時開車技術真的比較好

441
00:22:43,625 --> 00:22:49,166
‎我知道，你能想像
‎如果我們沒去酒吧喝個爛醉會怎樣？

442
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:51,583
‎還有如果我沒吃那個玉米捲餅？

443
00:22:51,666 --> 00:22:55,666
‎還有如果我沒吃那顆迷幻藥
‎把你們每個人都變成蛋蛋？

444
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,000
‎人生充滿小奇蹟

445
00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:01,791
‎小莫，別再放屁了！

446
00:23:01,875 --> 00:23:03,416
‎小莫，別再跑步了！

447
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:06,333
‎從你吃那個沙拉之後就沒跟我肛交了

448
00:23:06,416 --> 00:23:09,083
‎康妮，我沒時間吃小菊花沙拉

449
00:23:09,166 --> 00:23:11,500
‎我健壯的體格讓我更滿足

450
00:23:11,583 --> 00:23:14,583
‎不，我逮到你了
‎現在你非跟我嘿咻不可

451
00:23:14,666 --> 00:23:16,208
‎那是我康妮訂的規矩

452
00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:19,541
‎康妮，妳有沒有感受過

453
00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:22,291
‎心臟在胸腔跳動那種快感？

454
00:23:22,375 --> 00:23:24,833
‎不會吧，小莫，你得了…

455
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,333
‎跑步嗨！

456
00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:27,875
‎對，寶貝！

457
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:31,583
‎腦內啡真的太棒了
‎我們連嘿咻都不用

458
00:23:31,666 --> 00:23:34,541
‎天啊，不！你現在喜歡慢跑？

459
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:39,916
‎瑞克，“I'm Lovin' It”
‎是麥當勞的廣告詞，不是橄欖園

460
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,708
‎所以橄欖是鹹葡萄，對不對？

461
00:23:42,791 --> 00:23:44,708
‎我幹嘛邀請你？

462
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,541
‎天啊，蘿榭兒，妳愛我了？

463
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,833
‎小莫，走開，你自己跑就好

464
00:23:51,916 --> 00:23:55,833
‎但是康妮
‎我真的希望妳跟我一起去跑10K

465
00:24:00,916 --> 00:24:02,375
‎彼特！沃特！

466
00:24:02,458 --> 00:24:04,625
‎說真的，一半的演員都出車禍了！

467
00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:09,791
‎不！

468
00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:17,458
‎我不敢相信他們都走了

469
00:24:17,541 --> 00:24:20,125
‎我不敢相信
‎他們沒邀請我們去橄欖園餐廳

470
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,333
‎但去了我們就死了

471
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:24,500
‎老喬，你知道嗎？
‎讓我生死人的氣好嗎？

472
00:24:24,583 --> 00:24:28,250
‎我以為我那樣做是對的

473
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:31,041
‎我擁抱愛情，卻沒有用

474
00:24:31,125 --> 00:24:33,625
‎每個我在乎的人都死了

475
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:36,708
‎-我們還在
‎-我不在乎你們兩個！

476
00:24:36,791 --> 00:24:38,583
‎警告，愛蟲生氣了！

477
00:24:38,666 --> 00:24:42,625
‎那就是問題，我不是他媽的愛蟲

478
00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:45,708
‎我是憤怒的野獸

479
00:24:45,791 --> 00:24:48,625
‎有無懼的黑心腸

480
00:24:48,708 --> 00:24:51,000
‎我為了怨恨與復仇而生

481
00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:54,458
‎對，我一開始就很邪惡

482
00:24:54,541 --> 00:25:00,125
‎這是我的人生，我想怎麼過就怎麼過

483
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:06,583
‎我選擇仇恨

484
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:11,500
‎我願意加入，來吧

485
00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:15,166
‎蘿榭兒希荷斯，妳的決定是對的

486
00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:19,458
‎妳跟我，我們會一起做壞事

487
00:25:19,958 --> 00:25:23,541
‎說不定還會
‎找彼此麻煩，我是他媽的噩夢

488
00:25:24,916 --> 00:25:28,333
‎好，仇恨蟲的時間軸是真的？

489
00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:29,541
‎對，看起來是

490
00:25:29,625 --> 00:25:33,000
‎所以你沒吃花園沙拉？

491
00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:35,875
‎-他媽的當然沒有
‎-謝天謝地！

492
00:25:35,958 --> 00:25:40,333
‎之前那個你真讓人受不了
‎拜託永遠是裝滿垃圾的垃圾車

493
00:25:40,416 --> 00:25:43,875
‎哦，甜心
‎我永遠不會恢復生小孩前的身材

494
00:25:43,958 --> 00:25:46,500
‎我想我就再生一個吧

495
00:25:47,583 --> 00:25:51,333
‎-不能跟我生，不要
‎-但我要妳的基因，我的好醜

496
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,666
‎-不要，不，謝了
‎-康妮，拜託

497
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:56,208
‎賤人，看看現在是誰在跑步

498
00:26:37,208 --> 00:26:39,208
‎字幕翻譯：韋家瑤