1
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:11,625
‎（細菌的家）

2
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:16,125
‎東尼，今天星期三吃鬆餅，你的最愛

3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:19,541
‎-我不餓
‎-親愛的，幹嘛那麼不開心？

4
00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,791
‎我不知道，蒂娜，我想我提不起勁

5
00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:25,083
‎我好幾個星期都沒讓一個生物感冒

6
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,916
‎嘿，我們偶爾都會陷入低潮

7
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,541
‎但是記得
‎你害生物生病時那種快感嗎？

8
00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:34,458
‎我記得沒別的事
‎能讓你的細菌屌那麼硬

9
00:00:34,541 --> 00:00:36,875
‎蒂娜！孩子們會聽到

10
00:00:36,958 --> 00:00:39,708
‎-如果他們想看，我也不在乎
‎-把拔！

11
00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:42,583
‎-說鬼鬼到
‎-看看我們畫的

12
00:00:42,666 --> 00:00:44,375
‎他發燒又拉肚子

13
00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:47,041
‎-都是因為你
‎-好，去上班吧

14
00:00:47,125 --> 00:00:48,916
‎還有，如果你讓他們得重感冒

15
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,208
‎我就替你準備一塊又大又濕的蒂娜派

16
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:55,208
‎哦，我喜歡晚餐前來塊老婆派

17
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:58,208
‎-不公平！我們要吃媽咪派
‎-對

18
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:01,750
‎-等你們長大一點，大夥兒，掰了
‎-掰，把拔

19
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:07,291
‎“我的律師會跟你聯絡

20
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:09,500
‎謹啟，逗點

21
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:13,125
‎你們的兒子，逗點
‎老喬法蘭克林敬上”

22
00:01:13,208 --> 00:01:14,208
‎來了

23
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,666
‎希望他很快會碰他的臉

24
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:19,500
‎哦，好耶！他很噁心

25
00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:21,416
‎天啊，我在他鼻孔裡面！

26
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,458
‎-保重
‎-可惡，我感冒了嗎？

27
00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:27,791
‎看起來是，嗨，我是東尼

28
00:01:28,416 --> 00:01:30,875
‎嗨，我是老喬

29
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:34,125
‎我該回家嗎？
‎我不想把感冒傳染給大家

30
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:39,666
‎對，很好，但也許先去喝杯茶吧？

31
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:44,125
‎好，那樣應該可以
‎只要我不要跟任何人親熱就好

32
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,583
‎我的老喬來了

33
00:01:46,666 --> 00:01:49,500
‎過來，我的早餐熱吻呢？

34
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,541
‎嘿，兄弟，今天不能來早餐熱吻

35
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,750
‎我想我感冒了

36
00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:58,458
‎兄弟，我才不擔心那個
‎我從來不會生病，好嗎？

37
00:01:58,541 --> 00:02:00,458
‎來嘛，跟我喇個舌，看你敢不敢

38
00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:02,416
‎他不可能跟他接吻吧？

39
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:05,583
‎-好
‎-天啊，他要！

40
00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:07,416
‎老喬，再多喇一點

41
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:11,166
‎好痛哦，每次都一樣

42
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:14,500
‎蒂娜，我很行！我正在分裂！

43
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:16,875
‎-誰是蒂娜？
‎-她是我們的太太，你會愛上她

44
00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:18,958
‎-祝好運
‎-你也是

45
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:22,375
‎看吧？跟你說，我不會感…

46
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,166
‎天啊，我感冒了
‎我要對著這些甜甜圈打噴嚏

47
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,250
‎不，打在別的地方

48
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,166
‎我控制不了

49
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,833
‎-打噴嚏是反射動作，要打了
‎-不，吉爾，拜託！什麼？

50
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,416
‎我們是辦公室感冒！

51
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,500
‎今晚都能跟我們的太太嘿咻

52
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,875
‎（人資部）

53
00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:16,583
‎如果感冒了就回家

54
00:03:16,666 --> 00:03:18,458
‎-別逞強
‎-天啊

55
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,291
‎加農砲來了！

56
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,291
‎可惡，我感冒了嗎？

57
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,791
‎我的喉嚨發炎又好痛

58
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:31,875
‎康妮，妳聽起來像感冒了

59
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:34,333
‎到我家，我可以照顧妳

60
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,375
‎沒關係，我沒事

61
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:39,541
‎來嘛！我替做怪物蛋蛋湯

62
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,041
‎真的？親手做的？
‎用胯下的新鮮食材？

63
00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:44,166
‎只把最好的給我寶貝

64
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:45,916
‎我不是你的寶貝

65
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,541
‎但我腦袋好痛，關節也會抽痛

66
00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:53,458
‎-帶我回家好好照顧我
‎-耶！

67
00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:57,750
‎來，好好躺在小莫的床上

68
00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:59,708
‎的確舒服又溫暖

69
00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:03,750
‎對，沒錯，我為了妳在床上尿尿

70
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,583
‎聽聽那個咳嗽聲
‎我真的在裡頭搞破壞，對吧？

71
00:04:06,666 --> 00:04:09,083
‎要不要攤開讓我幫妳塞一塞？

72
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,750
‎小莫，我現在有點噁，不適合嘿咻

73
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:15,875
‎不是啦，傻瓜，是攤開…

74
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:18,250
‎然後塞一塞

75
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:19,875
‎塞好

76
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:23,583
‎哦，我現在好舒服哦

77
00:04:23,666 --> 00:04:26,166
‎好，現在我幫妳抓抓背

78
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,583
‎不用啦，我真的不喜歡人家對我太好

79
00:04:28,666 --> 00:04:32,083
‎-天啊
‎-妳喜歡，對不對？

80
00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:34,583
‎對，小莫，我需要你

81
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,416
‎妳需要我？

82
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:40,375
‎對，我需要你照顧寶貝康妮

83
00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:43,416
‎妳脆弱又無助

84
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:46,750
‎再抓抓我的背

85
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,583
‎該死，希望妳永遠不要好起來

86
00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:50,500
‎-什麼？
‎-什麼？

87
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,375
‎我是說好好休息，甜心

88
00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:58,250
‎我去煮湯，如果要找我
‎我就蹲在爐子的一鍋湯上面

89
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:02,000
‎多灑一點這個就能讓她睡著

90
00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:05,041
‎小莫，聞起來臭臭的

91
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:06,791
‎康妮！妳怎麼起來了？

92
00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,791
‎-我覺得好多了
‎-不行！

93
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,750
‎-什麼？
‎-我是說…不要急，先喝點湯

94
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,333
‎我真的用我的蛋蛋煮

95
00:05:14,416 --> 00:05:16,416
‎謝謝，但我不是很餓

96
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,708
‎來嘛，喝一小口就好

97
00:05:18,791 --> 00:05:21,000
‎不用了，寶貝，謝謝你

98
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:23,625
‎嘴巴給我張開

99
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:25,375
‎-什麼？
‎-我是說…

100
00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:29,291
‎康妮，我知道妳是堅強又獨立的女怪

101
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:30,208
‎我是

102
00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:34,041
‎但是偶爾應該讓人照顧妳

103
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:39,166
‎如果妳放輕鬆喝點湯
‎小莫我就會覺得很安慰

104
00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:42,458
‎你說得對，不好意思

105
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:46,250
‎-就喝一小口吧
‎-對，來吧

106
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,333
‎嘿，很好喝耶…

107
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:55,375
‎-搞什麼？
‎-醒醒，睡夫人

108
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,291
‎小莫，你做了什麼好事？

109
00:05:57,375 --> 00:06:00,583
‎我把妳塞得超緊

110
00:06:00,666 --> 00:06:02,708
‎就像妳喜歡的那樣

111
00:06:02,791 --> 00:06:04,458
‎塞太緊了啦！

112
00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:05,750
‎不要緊張

113
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:09,250
‎但是他似乎也把妳
‎打扮得像要參加《小小選美皇后》？

114
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:13,208
‎我看起來
‎像《鑽石女郎》的戴爾塔博克

115
00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:15,666
‎是啊，我把妳
‎打扮得很美，妳不喜歡嗎？

116
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,833
‎-真令人憂心
‎-細菌男，你要幫我

117
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:22,583
‎我有個辦法能幫我們，用力打噴嚏

118
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:25,458
‎什麼？那怎麼會…

119
00:06:26,541 --> 00:06:28,500
‎東尼，你是天才

120
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:31,208
‎不會吧，小莫，怎麼啦？

121
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,875
‎只是有點鼻塞，沒什麼

122
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,041
‎不，你感冒了

123
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:39,333
‎你要讓我照顧你

124
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:42,583
‎把被子鬆開一點，到床上來

125
00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:47,000
‎好，不，妳要塞好，才能好好休養

126
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:50,250
‎但是寶貝，該換你被照顧了

127
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:53,541
‎去死，好，對，妳想怎麼樣都好

128
00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:56,625
‎寶貝，趁我感冒前吻我吧

129
00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,000
‎好，當然啦，丹尼爾戴路易斯

130
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:03,458
‎什麼？

131
00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:06,833
‎現在換我被塞得超緊

132
00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:10,291
‎康妮，我要喝我的毒湯

133
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:12,958
‎去死！小莫，你瘋了

134
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,000
‎而且你很不會替人化妝

135
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:18,208
‎收回妳說的話
‎我花了四個小時畫妳的臉

136
00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:20,416
‎我睡了四個小時？

137
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,291
‎更久，我差點以為妳不會醒過來

138
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,458
‎你這個瘋子！

139
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:30,750
‎康妮，等等
‎我必須給妳下毒，妳才會需要我

140
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,500
‎好，現在就剩我們兩個了

141
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:35,875
‎對，把我畫得美美的

142
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,666
‎佩特拉，妳感冒了嗎？
‎如果感冒了就要回家

143
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,833
‎別緊張，只是過敏

144
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:46,000
‎我才不是“只是過敏”
‎小姐，這樣太看不起我了

145
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,166
‎不管你是什麼

146
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:50,250
‎我會毀了你
‎就算那是我生前做的最後一件事

147
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,666
‎（強效人參粉）

148
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:58,541
‎哦，不！不要用人蔘和維他命C

149
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,541
‎那是秘密組合

150
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:03,500
‎對，渾蛋！我覺得好多了

151
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:04,958
‎不中用的人才會感冒

152
00:08:05,041 --> 00:08:07,875
‎自負又否認現實的人
‎帶著細菌到處走還亂碰東西？

153
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:11,041
‎今天越來越精彩了

154
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:13,166
‎（焦慮是選擇）

155
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:18,958
‎凱蒂貓，妳好嗎？

156
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:39,875
‎我裡面好多鬼東西
‎你不會想招惹它們

157
00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:43,166
‎天啊！謝謝你提醒我

158
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,291
‎佩特拉，妳氣色不太好

159
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:49,833
‎離我遠一點，我忙到沒時間感冒

160
00:08:49,916 --> 00:08:51,750
‎希望，走開，妳根本…

161
00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:54,916
‎妳根本沒事幹

162
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:57,666
‎寶貝，我度過低潮了！

163
00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:00,250
‎我現在可以嚐得到我的老婆派了

164
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:06,375
‎嘿，凡，妳害我
‎被莎拉開除，我只想叫妳去死

165
00:09:06,916 --> 00:09:09,791
‎我邊罵邊看得出來妳感冒了

166
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:11,291
‎但是我還是要繼續罵

167
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,750
‎因為我來之前就決定要用這種口氣

168
00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,500
‎艾咪，我很不舒服，我要回家了

169
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,250
‎但是我擔心莎拉

170
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:22,916
‎沒有我，她就像妳不讓別人親近她

171
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,125
‎我現在就不讓妳親近，因為妳很煩

172
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:29,291
‎妳到底是怎麼了？妳為什麼會這樣？

173
00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:34,458
‎你的鬍子是怎麼
‎修得這麼方正，真是太厲害了

174
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:38,208
‎凡是個賤女人，我好生氣，嗨

175
00:09:38,875 --> 00:09:41,000
‎-妳要給她恨嗎？
‎-我要

176
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:43,833
‎那妳就來對地方了，說吧

177
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,083
‎-首先，她害我被開除…
‎-無法挽救的賤女

178
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:47,041
‎-對吧？
‎-恨她

179
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:51,041
‎我試著跟她溝通，她毫無理由兇我

180
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:54,291
‎-她以為自己好酷
‎-酷？她的名字是凡

181
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,333
‎還有比那個更平凡的名字嗎？

182
00:09:56,416 --> 00:10:01,833
‎她讓我跟在她身邊幾星期
‎可是卻連碰一下我的小妹妹都不肯

183
00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:02,750
‎好慘

184
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:08,375
‎還有當個“派對女生”酒鬼
‎並不是個性，我應該知道

185
00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:10,333
‎喝成那樣對皮膚不好

186
00:10:10,416 --> 00:10:13,916
‎賤女人的皮膚會乾裂
‎臉看起來就像坑坑巴巴的人行道

187
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,250
‎還有一定有人要坦白說…

188
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,875
‎艾咪，讓她好看

189
00:10:18,958 --> 00:10:21,458
‎我是說她的額頭？太高了

190
00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:24,291
‎要她去死

191
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,625
‎恨的感覺真好

192
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,458
‎我知道，對嗎？看看四周

193
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:29,875
‎我們部門很忙

194
00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:32,333
‎等等，而且你們沒有一個人生病

195
00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:34,500
‎對，我們都沒感冒

196
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:37,458
‎怎麼可能？樓上每個人都感冒了

197
00:10:38,791 --> 00:10:39,958
‎哦，可惡

198
00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:43,625
‎安東尼，又有一個人感冒了

199
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:49,083
‎老天，不要，求求你！

200
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,625
‎他在幹嘛？

201
00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:53,833
‎他是安東尼皮納塔
‎他是我們部門的捏爆者

202
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:56,083
‎“捏爆者”？什麼意思？

203
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:59,791
‎幹嘛把他捏這麼緊？
‎他的眼睛都快爆出來了

204
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,333
‎嘴巴閉上

205
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:08,375
‎-我跟妳說吧
‎-蘿榭兒，這是什麼鬼？

206
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,250
‎妳剛才想知道為什麼沒人感冒

207
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,041
‎安東尼皮納塔把被傳染的人捏爆

208
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,791
‎就能阻止傳染，寶貝

209
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:18,791
‎天啊，會因為嘴巴裡
‎有腦漿就被傳染感冒嗎？

210
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,875
‎-腦漿的確會傳染
‎-可惡

211
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:25,750
‎艾咪，快跑！

212
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:33,958
‎不！艾咪！

213
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:42,166
‎不，安東尼皮納塔
‎拜託，我不想被捏爆，求求你！

214
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,666
‎如果那樣會怎樣？

215
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,083
‎天啊

216
00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:02,083
‎安東尼皮納塔，你很盡忠職守

217
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,666
‎老天

218
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:10,791
‎每次到仇恨部門，渾身就沾滿內臟

219
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:13,166
‎義大利麵男，用麵條戳我小妹妹

220
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,875
‎-好耶
‎-可惡，對不起，莫娜

221
00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:19,750
‎直搗妹妹尻！

222
00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:21,875
‎我很快要高潮了

223
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:25,583
‎好，義大利麵老爸，媽咪餓了

224
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,083
‎黑胡椒起司義大利麵！

225
00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:35,708
‎可惡，我感冒了嗎？

226
00:12:35,791 --> 00:12:37,541
‎-似乎是
‎-不妙

227
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:39,625
‎莫娜，如果感冒就回家

228
00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:42,250
‎葛蕾絲，別傻了，我是嘿咻狂

229
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:46,083
‎如果我離開辦公室
‎到家前我會把20個人搞到生病

230
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,291
‎我們需要囚箱

231
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:51,541
‎-真的？他媽的囚箱？
‎-什麼是囚箱？

232
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:54,541
‎莫娜，妳只要學會自制

233
00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:57,708
‎妳去死！快點！我性慾又要來了

234
00:12:57,791 --> 00:12:59,916
‎不，說真的，什麼是囚箱？

235
00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:03,833
‎葛蕾絲，我得承認，我有點害怕

236
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:07,041
‎-當然，如果不怕你就是瘋了
‎-不好意思，妳說什麼？

237
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:11,000
‎如果她15到20分鐘沒嘿咻

238
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,500
‎就會很激動

239
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,500
‎-“很激動”是什麼意思？
‎-這是你的麻醉槍

240
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:18,541
‎如果你無法制伏她，就自我麻醉吧

241
00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:20,625
‎你辦得到

242
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,708
‎嗨，荷西

243
00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:23,875
‎嗨，莫娜

244
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:28,125
‎我應該要請妳把手放在後腦杓

245
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,875
‎再把食物遞過去

246
00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:32,000
‎-我不知道，麻煩妳了
‎-當然

247
00:13:35,666 --> 00:13:37,250
‎荷西，放我出去

248
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,458
‎我會把你搞到

249
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:40,875
‎你覺得這樣做值得

250
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:43,000
‎恕我直言，不用了，謝謝妳

251
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:47,500
‎好，那就放我出去！
‎不然我就他媽的殺了你

252
00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:50,875
‎不，我應該看著妳
‎直到妳感冒好了為止

253
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,416
‎那是我的工作

254
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,791
‎去死，誰放我出去，拜託

255
00:13:58,041 --> 00:14:01,166
‎-荷西，希望你開心了
‎-我不，我一點都不開心

256
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:05,125
‎那是什麼鬼？
‎幹嘛把假陽具排成那樣？

257
00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:07,541
‎-這是西洋棋
‎-教我

258
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:10,375
‎妳不會喜歡，沒有體液交換

259
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,791
‎拜託，荷西，老天，有假陽具

260
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,750
‎我需要分心，才不會老想著要嘿咻

261
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:18,458
‎-我不知道
‎-我保證不會亂來

262
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,416
‎好，我教妳

263
00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:24,125
‎好，我們開始吧，這是主教

264
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:26,458
‎只能走斜線

265
00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:29,833
‎似乎也能上下走

266
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,625
‎知道嗎？算了

267
00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:35,291
‎不，對不起，請你教我

268
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:38,791
‎好，繼續

269
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:41,458
‎下西洋棋不是只想下一步要怎麼走

270
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:44,750
‎而是要想接下來六步該怎麼走

271
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:47,125
‎這是兵，這是城堡

272
00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,666
‎-莫娜，下得好
‎-哦，這就像腦袋嘿咻！

273
00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:06,041
‎（熱愛雞雞）

274
00:15:06,541 --> 00:15:07,500
‎（西洋棋）

275
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,791
‎看，將軍

276
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:13,708
‎哦，耶

277
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,791
‎哇，莫娜

278
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:21,458
‎妳沒有把我從洞裡拖進去搞到死

279
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:27,041
‎我沒有，我猜我只想跟你下西洋棋

280
00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:32,666
‎如果妳繼續這樣
‎親愛的，說不定會成為頂尖棋手

281
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:36,250
‎不會只想要嘿咻，我腦袋好清楚

282
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:39,333
‎我從每個空間都能看到棋局

283
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:43,041
‎哦，荷西，這實在太精采了

284
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,833
‎好，莫娜，晚安

285
00:15:46,916 --> 00:15:48,375
‎荷西，晚安

286
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:50,458
‎好，好感人哦

287
00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:54,916
‎嗨，親愛的

288
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,791
‎我看得出來妳感冒好了

289
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,416
‎對，荷西，我好了

290
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,916
‎但妳還是
‎會下西洋棋，對吧？妳有天份

291
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,583
‎就因為妳現在可以嘿咻
‎並不表示妳不能下西洋棋，對吧？

292
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:11,041
‎笨蛋，就是那樣

293
00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:21,583
‎哦，好可惜

294
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:29,833
‎最後一分鐘才通知？

295
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:33,791
‎可惡，我覺得肺裡都是有毛的鼻屎

296
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:35,541
‎但妳還是會繼續上班？

297
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:39,166
‎什麼？當然啦
‎幼稚園的小朋友才請病假

298
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,458
‎好，快點，佩特拉

299
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,041
‎好，她來了，開始！

300
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:50,833
‎-我們好忙哦
‎-我們正在工作

301
00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:52,291
‎不太對近

302
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,291
‎五小時能量飲料？

303
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:55,916
‎就像小古柯鹼

304
00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:01,958
‎等等，不！是陷阱！

305
00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:03,416
‎你們這些渾蛋！

306
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,416
‎快把腳咬斷才能逃脫

307
00:17:06,041 --> 00:17:10,625
‎別激動，我們不得以的
‎妳把感冒傳染給辦公室每個人

308
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,708
‎沃特，我會讓你好看

309
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:16,250
‎到時候你會求我讓你自我了斷

310
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:19,833
‎佩特拉，不用一下子就說這麼重的話

311
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:27,250
‎“你的兄弟牌PTH107B印標機已送達”

312
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:28,375
‎天啊！

313
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:31,916
‎超好用的印標機就在我家門口

314
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,333
‎還提前一天送達

315
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:36,125
‎現在我什麼都願意放棄

316
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:40,416
‎只要能在家用印標機
‎標示、整理、分類我的物品…

317
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,833
‎葛蕾絲，星期二我就會找妳算帳

318
00:17:42,916 --> 00:17:46,708
‎妳知道規定，感冒就要回家

319
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,541
‎感冒就要回家

320
00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:54,375
‎我的確覺得有點發燒了

321
00:17:56,916 --> 00:18:00,708
‎可惡，我似乎被大家傳染了

322
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:01,916
‎彼特，要出去？

323
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,500
‎對，我感冒很嚴重

324
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:08,416
‎不然我會留下
‎因為上班時間就該上班

325
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:12,833
‎沒錯，如果你需要
‎找個抱抱夥伴就跟我說

326
00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:13,875
‎好

327
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:16,166
‎我自由了，葛蕾絲去死吧

328
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,541
‎可惡，放開我！

329
00:18:19,958 --> 00:18:22,625
‎哦，老天，直接跑進嘴巴

330
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:30,041
‎嗨，美女

331
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:34,416
‎我現在真的不應該在家
‎但是妳引誘我，對不對？

332
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,458
‎我要溫柔地慢慢把妳拆開

333
00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:40,625
‎他們把妳包得好緊哦

334
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:43,833
‎妳比照片上還美

335
00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:48,750
‎希望妳在門口休息夠了
‎因為現在妳可有得忙了

336
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:52,208
‎（鹽 - 大蒜）

337
00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:54,625
‎我知道你要什麼

338
00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:57,541
‎你也想要一個？

339
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,916
‎（果汁機）

340
00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,541
‎冰箱

341
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:03,500
‎麵粉

342
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:08,416
‎檯燈

343
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:10,625
‎（翹班小壞蛋）

344
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,375
‎一號乳頭，二號乳頭

345
00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:16,666
‎不！

346
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,416
‎一定還有，一定要

347
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,708
‎你這個渾蛋，為什麼不訂補充貼紙？

348
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:32,416
‎（儲藏室）

349
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:38,875
‎找到了！文具店可以關門
‎但我不會讓我的寶貝餓肚子

350
00:19:39,666 --> 00:19:42,208
‎現在被我發現了

351
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,708
‎不，不是你想的那樣

352
00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,750
‎真的嗎，彼特？

353
00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:49,541
‎因為看起來你的感冒是假的

354
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,875
‎現在又在偷辦公室用品

355
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,500
‎你說得對，我覺得自己好爛

356
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:58,000
‎你應該，你裝病又是小偷

357
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:02,583
‎我是壞石像，我應該感冒

358
00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:05,041
‎-愧感巫師，把你的細菌給我吧
‎-真的？

359
00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:07,291
‎好，來了

360
00:20:07,375 --> 00:20:10,208
‎老天！我是說把你的咖啡杯給我

361
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:14,416
‎我以為…你要我給你細菌
‎我還以為你是在跟我調情

362
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:18,125
‎我才沒有，你在上班地點對我性騷擾

363
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,250
‎-求你不要說出去
‎-杯子給我

364
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:25,375
‎太好了，現在大家都要我

365
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:30,416
‎凡，妳怎麼樣？因為我今天好開心

366
00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:34,125
‎-我渾身不舒服
‎-因為艾咪跟妳說了那些話？

367
00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:37,541
‎什麼？不
‎艾咪跟我說話時我根本沒在聽

368
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:40,583
‎她說妳是
‎不讓別人親近的女王，真的嗎？

369
00:20:40,666 --> 00:20:42,166
‎不要來煩我啦

370
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,375
‎嗨，凡

371
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:46,083
‎-搞什麼？
‎-你是誰？

372
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:49,791
‎我是她最早的客戶之一
‎妳一定關心過我，對不對？

373
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:53,583
‎妳被自己的心魔所困？
‎那是我最喜歡的一種病

374
00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:55,583
‎你們兩個通通給我滾

375
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,708
‎-嘿，凡
‎-天啊！

376
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,875
‎天啊，我們在一起時好開心

377
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,041
‎直到我喝了私釀的假酒死掉

378
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:03,250
‎你們在這裡幹嘛？

379
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:06,208
‎我以為妳關心我
‎難道妳一點都不關心我嗎？

380
00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:09,708
‎不，妳只是客戶，我有幾百萬個客戶

381
00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:11,708
‎我對妳只是客戶？

382
00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:14,708
‎-我以為我們之間很特別
‎-不要說了

383
00:21:14,791 --> 00:21:17,250
‎-不要說了
‎-妳知道鬼能穿牆吧？

384
00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:18,875
‎為什麼妳不關心我？

385
00:21:18,958 --> 00:21:21,916
‎-為什麼妳不關心我？
‎-為什麼妳都不關心我們？

386
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,333
‎我當然關心你們，但願我沒有

387
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:25,541
‎-為什麼？
‎-為什麼？

388
00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:27,000
‎-為什麼？
‎-我們做了什麼？

389
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:29,916
‎你們都死了，好嗎？你死了

390
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,500
‎我不要想那些事
‎你們就像金魚一樣短命

391
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:37,875
‎前一天還在，隔天就沒了
‎從馬桶被沖走，感覺糟糕透了

392
00:21:37,958 --> 00:21:42,416
‎沒那麼糟糕
‎就因為人類生命短暫才那麼美好

393
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,541
‎我不知道，我年輕就死了

394
00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:46,166
‎凡，重點是

395
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:48,833
‎妳用不著為金魚難過

396
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,166
‎-我們沒事
‎-再說一次，我蠻生氣的

397
00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:54,250
‎但不是妳的錯，凡，妳用不著難過

398
00:21:54,333 --> 00:21:56,750
‎我不難過，我是他媽的生氣

399
00:21:56,833 --> 00:21:59,166
‎我失去你們每一個人

400
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:03,666
‎你們一個個離開，每次都把我丟下來

401
00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:05,500
‎天啊，凡

402
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:09,916
‎妳必須永遠活著，眼睜睜看我們死

403
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,375
‎-感覺一定很差勁
‎-我想我們需要一起抱抱

404
00:22:12,458 --> 00:22:15,375
‎-不！我不喜歡被抱抱
‎-來嘛

405
00:22:15,458 --> 00:22:17,291
‎真的很抱歉，我應該跟你們抱抱嗎？

406
00:22:17,375 --> 00:22:19,333
‎放開我，你們都放開我

407
00:22:19,416 --> 00:22:22,041
‎我要加入，如果沒有就很怪

408
00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:23,416
‎不，不要這樣！

409
00:22:23,958 --> 00:22:26,291
‎我需要空間！

410
00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:32,541
‎哇，艾咪說得對
‎妳真的不讓別人親近

411
00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:34,708
‎妳連在夢中都無法接受擁抱

412
00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:37,291
‎拜託，東尼，不要煩我

413
00:22:37,958 --> 00:22:39,500
‎好，對不起

414
00:22:42,041 --> 00:22:44,791
‎我的私生活爛透了！

415
00:22:44,875 --> 00:22:46,375
‎我想念我的電腦

416
00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:49,375
‎不要管葛蕾絲，她不能對妳頤指氣使

417
00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:52,333
‎如果妳想回公司，妳就回去，好嗎？

418
00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:55,708
‎這裡是怎麼回事？

419
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,916
‎才10點45，真是一群懶鬼

420
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,041
‎沒錯，我們來舔大家的電話

421
00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:02,541
‎那裡是怎麼回事？

422
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,708
‎是妳，妳待在家也快瘋了？

423
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,416
‎天啊，不是啦，但願我可以休假一天

424
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:11,541
‎但是地球狀況一堆

425
00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:12,916
‎妳是說有戰爭

426
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,583
‎極權民粹主義的崛起？

427
00:23:15,666 --> 00:23:17,791
‎他們也毀了這個星球

428
00:23:17,875 --> 00:23:18,916
‎他們完了

429
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,916
‎我的工作就是讓他們覺得他們不會

430
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,375
‎好辛苦的工作

431
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:25,833
‎沒錯

432
00:23:25,916 --> 00:23:30,166
‎希望，我很難啟齒，但說真的

433
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:32,458
‎也許妳比我想的更忙

434
00:23:32,541 --> 00:23:35,000
‎佩特拉，妳對我心軟了

435
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,916
‎不，我是感冒才會這樣

436
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:40,500
‎哇，今天真的太棒了

437
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:44,125
‎業績增加，交了幾個朋友
‎而且讓幾條故事線有所進展

438
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:45,750
‎該吃晚餐了

439
00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:50,708
‎可惡，直接噴在鍵盤上

440
00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:51,791
‎（細菌的家）

441
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:54,666
‎把拔回來了！

442
00:23:54,750 --> 00:23:56,958
‎對，甜心，今天好嗎？

443
00:23:57,041 --> 00:23:59,291
‎說真的？太棒了，妳說得對

444
00:23:59,375 --> 00:24:02,708
‎我讓好多生物感冒
‎我想我讓大家學會幾個教訓

445
00:24:02,791 --> 00:24:06,375
‎看吧？這才是我的東尼，我以你為榮

446
00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:08,375
‎對了，晚餐快好了

447
00:24:08,458 --> 00:24:11,375
‎還有我的蒂娜派烤了一個下午

448
00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:14,000
‎我一整天都在想這個派

449
00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:17,125
‎-我們真的很幸運，對不對？
‎-你知道

450
00:24:17,208 --> 00:24:22,625
‎蒂娜，我去洗洗手
‎然後好好享受餘生

451
00:24:33,208 --> 00:24:34,208
‎不

452
00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,750
‎不要！

453
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,041
‎（除菌噴霧劑）

454
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,166
‎我愛你！

455
00:24:46,458 --> 00:24:48,041
‎不！

456
00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:52,375
‎東尼，你去死
‎希望我他媽的殺死你全家

457
00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,375
‎字幕翻譯：韋家瑤