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00:00:10,708 --> 00:00:11,583
[marshaller] Ahh!
2
00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:15,041
Human Resources is going global, baby.
3
00:00:15,125 --> 00:00:18,458
International Creature Convention,
here we come!
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00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,916
ICC! The big ICC!
5
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,125
Oh, I can't wait to fuck a bunch of randos
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00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:28,166
at a magical Radisson
in the sky above North Korea.
7
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Ooh, Maury, will you write my
room number on my forehead in Sharpie
8
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:34,041
so everyone knows
where to find me and my holes?
9
00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:36,791
Of course, Connie. What about you, Walter?
10
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:40,291
Are you excited for your annual fuckfest
with Simon Sex?
11
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:44,583
No, my heart can't handle
these once-a-year flings with him.
12
00:00:44,666 --> 00:00:47,083
I'm going Simon sexless this year.
13
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:50,333
Oh, damn. That's a sad way
to start this episode.
14
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Ugh, what am I gonna do?
15
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,708
- [melodramatic music playing]
- I can't do this to Emmy.
16
00:00:55,791 --> 00:01:00,833
[moaning] I can't do this to Emmy.
17
00:01:00,916 --> 00:01:04,625
Seriously, I really can't do this to Emmy.
I'm sorry, but we have to stop.
18
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:07,041
[chuckling] Come on, Rochelle,
you don't want to stop.
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I know, but it's over...
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- [gasps]
- Hey, Rochelle, my trusted best friend.
21
00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:18,833
So glad we get to be conference buddies
all weekend, right? Girl time!
22
00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:21,875
Yeah! Your first conference.
It's gonna be great. [laughs nervously]
23
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:26,291
Oh, yeah, and thank God
Dante's not coming. [chuckles]
24
00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:30,125
I mean, I've been in such a dark place
lately because of him.
25
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:33,833
- He really is the fucking worst, right?
- Of course!
26
00:01:33,916 --> 00:01:35,791
You still agree with that statement,
correct?
27
00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:38,833
Yeah, he's the worst.
You should definitely not be with him.
28
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Yeah, but not just me though, right?
29
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'Cause nobody should be with him, right?
30
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,625
[nervously] Yeah, nobody.
31
00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:49,833
Don't worry, I'm here. I'm here,
yes, with a brand-new fashion belt.
32
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And I can't wait to judge all your
shameful dalliances from the sidelines.
33
00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:56,708
Hey! There's nothing shameful
34
00:01:56,791 --> 00:02:00,041
about tugging and chugging your way
through a parade of strangers.
35
00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:03,583
Yeah, I already booked an appointment
to get my stomach pumped.
36
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:07,250
Remember to tell him beforehand
you want to keep the stuff that comes out.
37
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:08,166
Yeah, of course.
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00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:12,541
- ["Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe playing]
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
39
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:16,708
♪ That's just the way you make me feel
That's just the way you make me feel ♪
40
00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:20,833
♪ So real, so good, so fuckin' real
So real, so good, so fuckin' real ♪
41
00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:24,708
♪ That's just the way you make me feel
That's just the way you make me feel ♪
42
00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:29,875
♪ It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender ♪
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00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:34,041
♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪
44
00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:38,083
♪ Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better ♪
45
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,041
♪ There's nothin' better ♪
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♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
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[expectant music playing]
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[alarm beeps]
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Welcome to the
International Creature Convention.
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Pick up your credentials here.
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00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,125
[tellers translating]
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00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:03,166
All right. Roomies.
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00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,875
Roomies! Fun!
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00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,750
We can stay up late
ripping into that shithead Dante,
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00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:11,500
who is riddled with chlamydia,
which I gave to him.
56
00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:14,625
Walter, my love.
You look good enough to eat.
57
00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:18,500
Well, you're gonna die hungry, boo,
because the kitchen is closed this year.
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00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:22,166
Hey, Simon Sex, you beautiful bastard.
How are you?
59
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,583
[chuckles] Maury.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
60
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:28,875
- But what's wrong with Walter?
- He's protecting his fragile Lovebug heart
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00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,458
because he thinks all you care about
is his fragile Lovebug dong.
62
00:03:32,541 --> 00:03:36,041
Well, that's not true.
I care about every part of Walter.
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If I could,
I'd put them all in my ass at once.
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- You are a goddamn poet, man.
- And you're a warrior, Maury. I love you.
65
00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:46,250
- Hey, I love you, too, brother.
- Wow.
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00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,458
Well, I've gotta run. I'm getting a drink
with Philip Fuck before my seminar.
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00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,875
Philip Fuck? I love that guy.
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00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:55,541
Hey, Maury, I'm getting a text
from Martha at moveon.org.
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- Want me to tell her you love her too?
- Sure, she sounds nice.
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Ooh! Hey, let's go to the Sexpo.
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00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:03,666
I heard a guy in Iceland made a car
that runs on ejaculate, it's called...
72
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,625
- Toyota Cumry?
- Yeah, Cumry. Yeah, you guessed it.
73
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,583
Ooh, I wonder who's gonna win
The Dolly this year.
74
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,666
What's "the Dolly"?
75
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,083
The Dolly Parton award.
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00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,541
It is the most prestigious
humanitarian award a creature can get.
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Yeah, it takes a big heart. And let me
tell you, big tits don't hurt either.
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00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:22,000
Rochelle, I, uh, have a feeling
this is your year.
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00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,750
Aw, Pete.
So you think I have big tits, huh?
80
00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:27,625
[scoffs nervously]
No, I think they're very normal.
81
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:30,625
They're perfect. I mean,
I don't know what they look like.
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00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:33,958
- I only look at your face.
- Relax. I'm just fucking with you.
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00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,416
Oh! [laughs nervously]
84
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,500
That's funny.
85
00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,500
Um, hey, speaking of amusement,
we should get a drink before dinner?
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00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:42,708
All right. You're buying.
87
00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:46,083
I'd love to buy. [chuckles nervously]
I have my debit card, traveler's checks.
88
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:49,000
You'll find I have many modes of payment.
And she's gone.
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00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,916
Hey! Watch out for Rochelle, dude.
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Her heart is fucking rotten.
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00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,625
And between you and me,
her tits are mostly bra.
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00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:57,416
[laughs] That's a good one, Emmy.
93
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,958
Uh, can you please let go?
You're hurting me.
94
00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,666
Yeah, that's called pulling a Rochelle
'cause she's a hurter
95
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,958
and she's additionally also bad.
96
00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:08,333
What's up, my fellow Shame-heads? [laughs]
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00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:09,791
[guest scoffing derisively]
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00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:15,375
Uh, hello, I'm Lionel from the US office.
Would you like to trade business cards?
99
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,125
Are you sure your name isn't
100
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,958
"Pathetic Loser
With a Hideous Braided Belt"?
101
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,416
No, it's Lionel.
102
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,458
[in Farsi] That guy is so lame.
103
00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:25,500
[in English] Excuse me, barkeep? Hello?
104
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,625
[whistles] Hello? I know you can see me.
105
00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:30,583
- Here, let me help you. Bartender!
- What would you like?
106
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:32,791
One Shamearita, please.
107
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,875
It's like a margarita, but the bartender
has to whisper something bad she did
108
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into the cup before she gives it to you.
109
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,625
I stepped on my boyfriend's tiny dog.
110
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,791
And I'll have a tap water
in a piping hot glass.
111
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:46,708
Oh, straight out
of the dishwasher, please.
112
00:05:46,791 --> 00:05:48,250
- You're not drinking?
- Oh, no.
113
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:52,875
No, I need my senses sharp so I can
judge others as cruelly as possible.
114
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:54,708
It is a work trip, after all.
115
00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:58,041
- [sighs] That's too bad.
- [nervously] What is? What's bad?
116
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,291
Please don't turn away.
117
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:03,708
It's just... I've been watching you
and that magnificent belt.
118
00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:06,333
You like it?
I bought it just for this conference.
119
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,291
- [chuckles]
- Well, if you're willing to take it off,
120
00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:14,041
I was hoping we could ditch this stupid
mixer and get a little shameful ourselves.
121
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,625
Ditch the mixer?
122
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:20,208
And miss an exclusive opportunity
to network with industry thought leaders?
123
00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,750
Listen, where I'm from, we have a saying,
124
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:26,583
"Life is short, so come upstairs
to my room and fuck me."
125
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:29,000
Ooh, Lionel likey very muchy.
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00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,791
Mmm! Ah!
127
00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:36,000
Let's entwine ourselves
like the braids of my brand-new belt.
128
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,500
- [shatters]
- [both] Yeah!
129
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:40,000
Sorry. I went too far. Sorry about that.
130
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:44,166
Roll up, roll up.
Jars of cum from around the world.
131
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,875
Oh, my. What's this freaky little box do?
132
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,875
This is the Kickstand 3000.
133
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:53,958
It's a VR experience where you can feel
what it's like to be inside a boner.
134
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:57,166
T-shirts! Get your T-shirts!
We got Mickey Mouse with tits.
135
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,916
We got Homer Simpson
titty-fucking a Bart Simpson.
136
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,416
I will take 500
of Pikachu rimming Eeyore, please.
137
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:06,333
Hey, amigo, amigo,
since you're getting so many T-shirts,
138
00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,416
I'll throw in a free key chain, eh?
139
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,166
Hey, thanks a lot, man. I love you.
140
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:15,875
What is your deal? Why are you telling
everyone "I love you" all of a sudden?
141
00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:18,000
I don't know,
I guess I'm just an affectionate guy.
142
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,333
Well, you never said it to me.
143
00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:21,541
Well, 'cause it'd be
fuckin' weird to say it to you.
144
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,583
And, besides,
you've never said it to me either.
145
00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:27,375
- Well, I don't want to say it.
- Well, I'm not gonna say it if you don't.
146
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,916
If it's so important to you,
I'll say it, but you first.
147
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,166
- We'll do it at the same time.
- Fine. Should we do it right now?
148
00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,250
Eww, no!
149
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:37,291
I think maybe
we should be alone for our first time.
150
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,791
Yes, that seems best.
151
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,875
Spunk Tank. Take a dip in the Spunk Tank.
152
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:44,958
Ladies and gentlemen,
remember, this is for charity.
153
00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:52,625
Simon Sex, what is more important
to the human experience, love or lust?
154
00:07:52,708 --> 00:07:54,666
Well, I'm a Hormone Monster, baby.
155
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:58,083
And I've gotta say
lust makes the world go round.
156
00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,833
It starts in your toes,
and crinkles up your nose,
157
00:08:00,916 --> 00:08:03,125
and meets in the middle
where your genital grows.
158
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,958
Ugh, of course that's what you think.
159
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:09,666
Ooh, Walter, care to expand
on your rude comment?
160
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,416
You know, I've just found
that love is nurturing and eternal,
161
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:17,625
while lust is cheap
and disappears after a nice fat O.
162
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,750
Kind of weird to imagine
Walter having a nice fat O.
163
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,666
- No, it's not. I do it all the time.
- [phone dings]
164
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,291
What the fuck?
165
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:27,291
- [romantic music plays]
- Oh, shit.
166
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,666
Um, I... I gotta go pee.
167
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:35,083
Walter, my darling, you assume that love
and lust must be mutually exclusive.
168
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,041
Why can't there be both?
169
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,958
You're saying
there might be love with the lust?
170
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,000
I'm saying
there might be lust with the love.
171
00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:43,916
Mmm-hmm.
172
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000
You know when love and lust work together...
173
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:48,333
Wrapping themselves around one another...
174
00:08:48,416 --> 00:08:50,500
...into a flesh pretzel.
175
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,750
God, I've missed you.
176
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,267
- [loud crash]
- [audience exclaiming]
177
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:57,208
Dante, what are you doing here?
We said we were done.
178
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,291
You said that.
179
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:01,708
I made myself clear.
I can't keep having sex with you.
180
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,250
It's not about the earth-shattering,
duvet-soaking sex.
181
00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:08,666
- It's not?
- No, no, no. I'm here because I love you.
182
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,791
What? No... No, you don't.
183
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:14,083
I do. I have never felt like this.
184
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:16,500
It... It's better
than 150 grams of ketamine.
185
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,263
And if you don't know drugs, that's a lot.
186
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,011
I mean, that could
put down a fuckin' horse.
187
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,041
Oh, shit. Emmy's coming.
188
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,375
- You gotta hide.
- [grunts]
189
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,166
[chuckles] All right,
but at this latitude,
190
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,458
it is gonna take
every ounce of my strength
191
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:30,583
not to bury my face
in your magnificent place.
192
00:09:30,666 --> 00:09:32,375
Okay. Stay strong, I guess?
193
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:35,166
- Hey, bestie. See you up in the room?
- Yup! You got it.
194
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,666
[Dante] Oh, someone's EpiPen
is down here. Aiiee!
195
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:38,583
Oh! Sorry?
196
00:09:38,666 --> 00:09:42,416
I said, "IIII can't wait
to see you for drinks later!"
197
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,291
Well, IIII am going
to the business center
198
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,583
to print out my boarding pass
for the return flight.
199
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,166
But, uh, I'll see you at the bar.
200
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,125
Oh, fuck me.
201
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:54,000
Okay, but I'd rather make love to you.
I mean, for many, many hours.
202
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:57,208
- Think Sting without a deadline.
- Uh... Oh, God.
203
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,250
[both moaning]
204
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:01,708
I'm Asha, by the way.
205
00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:03,041
Oh, yes. I'm Lionel.
206
00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,958
Nobody asked you, you pig!
207
00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:07,458
Excuse me? I... I just thought we were...
208
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:12,875
You thought wrong.
Now, take off your cloak, you rat-fuck.
209
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:16,875
Should I take it off sexy
like I'm at the doctor or...
210
00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:19,041
Stop! Float there naked.
211
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,666
- Ooh! What? What's so funny?
- [laughing]
212
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:25,750
You. Your legs look like they're decaying.
213
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,083
Your dick looks like it's made of dust.
214
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:31,750
And the rest of you
makes me fucking nauseous.
215
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,500
Um... I'm sorry, what? Sorry?
216
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:38,166
Get over here, and bring that chewed-up
piece of shit dick with you.
217
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:42,083
Oh, I get it!
This is, like, your thing, isn't it?
218
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:44,291
Shame and sex mixed together.
219
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,916
Oh, how very exhilarating!
220
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,833
Now, apologize
for looking in my direction.
221
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,541
Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for looking at you, Asha.
222
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:56,083
- [grunting]
- [Asha moaning]
223
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,291
- Yes, keep going.
- You disgust me!
224
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:00,625
Belittle me some more,
you gorgeous maniac.
225
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:02,416
Don't tell me what to do.
226
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,500
[in Luo] Piece of shit.
227
00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:07,000
[in English] Yes! Yes! I'm that... that...
that word you said.
228
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,875
God, I've never felt so alive.
Step on my dusty little dick!
229
00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,708
- [door opens]
- Oh, shit! Arsalan.
230
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,208
Lionel. My name's Lionel.
But, you know, go on.
231
00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:18,708
- Go on, you can call me whatever you like.
- [whispers] No! My husband, Arsalan.
232
00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,166
[anxiously] You're married?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
233
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:24,250
Shut the fuck up and hide under the bed
like the cum stain you are.
234
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:27,583
- Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm in love with you.
- [door closing]
235
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:30,625
It's cold in here. Are you...
Are you finding it cold in here?
236
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:33,375
I don't wanna be
too cold when I say it, so...
237
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:36,791
Just say it. Jesus.
It doesn't have to be such a big deal.
238
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,583
[sighs] I love you, Connie.
239
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,458
I love you, Maury.
240
00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,500
Oof. Okay. That wasn't so bad.
241
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:47,208
Yeah. It was kind of nice to say.
242
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,791
So, what now?
243
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,375
Should we, I don't know, make love?
244
00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:53,583
Sure thing, lover.
245
00:11:53,666 --> 00:11:55,666
[romantic music swelling]
246
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,458
- [music stops suddenly]
- That was...
247
00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:59,208
- Not good.
- ...very bad.
248
00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,375
I... love you?
249
00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:02,958
Ew, ew, stop. That's nasty, stop.
250
00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:06,166
Yeah, it felt weird immediately
coming out of my mouth. I'm sorry.
251
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,916
Walter? Where's Walter?
I need to talk to him.
252
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,333
Walter's in the bathroom.
253
00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:13,916
He seems to be listening to
a Mariah Carey album from start to finish.
254
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,333
And I'm just not comfortable
interrupting that.
255
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:17,541
I'm a total asshole!
256
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,541
I've been involved with this guy Dante
257
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,625
that my best friend
was just hooking up with
258
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,125
and I've been keeping it from her!
259
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,625
- Whore!
- [dejectedly] I know!
260
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:26,625
How could you do this to Emmy?
261
00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:28,916
I just can't help myself!
262
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,750
I tried to break it off with him,
263
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,916
but then he came here,
and he told me he loves me, and...
264
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,250
- What if I love him too?
- Oh! Well, that would change everything.
265
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:42,291
- It would?
- Simon, honey, should we sing about it?
266
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,791
What are we waiting for?
267
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:46,500
[upbeat music playing]
268
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:50,583
♪ So you've been sexing
With your best friend's lover ♪
269
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:53,333
♪ Well, girl, you got to know
This unwritten rule ♪
270
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:54,291
There's a rule?
271
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:58,125
♪ If it's love that you feel
You got a right to make it real ♪
272
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,750
♪ But if it's only fucking ♪
273
00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,791
- ♪ That shit ain't cool ♪
- Oh.
274
00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:08,375
♪ You see, it's all about your motivation
Are you a Jezebel or Juliet? ♪
275
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:09,291
Well, neither.
276
00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:13,083
♪ Does he fill your heart
With excitation? ♪
277
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,666
♪ Or does he only make your panties wet? ♪
278
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:16,750
What are you saying?
279
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,625
- ♪ Are you in love? ♪
- Me?
280
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,625
- ♪ Or just an asshole? ♪
- Maybe.
281
00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:23,208
♪ You've got to make up your mind
And commit ♪
282
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,291
Like now?
283
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:28,083
♪ Do you feel it in your soul?
Are you half of a whole? ♪
284
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:30,791
♪ Or just a horny, selfish
Double-crossing ♪
285
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:32,958
♪ Sex-crazed piece of shit? ♪
286
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,416
Okay. Okay, I get it. Let me think.
287
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,375
♪ We share
A deeply satisfying connection ♪
288
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:42,125
♪ Do you just mean how nice
He fits in your box? ♪
289
00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:43,041
Yes! No.
290
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,791
♪ He gives me warm, strong waves
Of affection ♪
291
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:49,666
♪ Like when you're riding
On his three sweet cocks? ♪
292
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:50,583
Well that too, but...
293
00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:54,208
♪ Do you cuddle and coo
When the sex is through? ♪
294
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:57,083
♪ Or get your rocks off
And you're out the door? ♪
295
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,166
♪ I like to cuddle ♪
296
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,625
- ♪ You want to be there when he's needy ♪
- Yes!
297
00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:02,458
- ♪ His savior and his sweetie ♪
- Yes!
298
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,583
♪ Or just his
Late-night booty call whore? ♪
299
00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:05,500
No offense.
300
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,375
- ♪ Am in love? ♪
- ♪ Are you in love? ♪
301
00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,541
- ♪ Or just an asshole? ♪
- ♪ Could be an asshole ♪
302
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,875
♪ Is the passion in my heart or my clit? ♪
303
00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:12,958
♪ In your clit ♪
304
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:16,750
♪ Am I righteous and true?
A lovestruck ingénue? ♪
305
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:22,125
♪ Or just a vile, disgusting
Friend-betraying lowlife piece of shit? ♪
306
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,208
♪ Am I in love? ♪
307
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,833
♪ Or just an asshole? ♪
308
00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:27,916
♪ Could be in love ♪
309
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,541
♪ Are you just an asshole? ♪
310
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:33,708
♪ I think I'm in love ♪
311
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,208
I'm in love.
312
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,250
Yeah, I do love him. Thank you!
313
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:44,958
So, what about us?
Is it love or are you an asshole, honey?
314
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:46,708
Baby, I'm in love
315
00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,166
with your asshole.
316
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,708
[yelps] Okay!
317
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:52,041
- [door opens]
- Hey, I'm glad you're here.
318
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,458
Can we talk for a second?
319
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:54,916
Okay...
320
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,375
[sighs] I kissed Dante at Doug's wedding,
321
00:14:57,458 --> 00:15:00,291
and we've been
more-than-kissing since then,
322
00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:02,541
and I'm so, so, so,
so sorry I kept it from you.
323
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,875
[sarcastically] Oh, okay. Wow.
324
00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:08,500
Finally, she admits it
after 24 and a half days.
325
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,500
I'm sorry. I really am.
326
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:12,875
Oh, my God, you're such an asshole.
327
00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:15,958
No, I'm not, 'cause here's the thing.
328
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,250
I... I love him, and he loves me.
329
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:22,166
- What? That's a million times worse!
- [anxiously] No! No, it's better.
330
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:25,333
Maybe for you,
but it makes me feel like shit.
331
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:28,208
I mean, you're basically
telling me that Dante loves you
332
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,208
when he never gave a fuck about me.
333
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,375
No, that's not...
334
00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:33,666
And the fact
that you thought telling me that
335
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:36,458
would make me feel better
about what you did just shows
336
00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:38,250
how fucking self-centered you are.
337
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,750
- Emmy, please. I...
- You know what? Fuck you, Rochelle.
338
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,958
I hope you enjoy my chlamydia.
It's quite the strain.
339
00:15:45,041 --> 00:15:46,625
- [door slams]
- Oof.
340
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,625
Look at this room! It is a mess!
341
00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:51,083
[Asha] I am not going
to put my clothes in a wardrobe!
342
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,708
We're only here for two days!
343
00:15:52,791 --> 00:15:55,083
[Arsalan] Oink, oink!
You should sleep outside
344
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:57,375
like the hog that you are!
345
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,416
- [slap]
- [Arsalan] Oh, you're gonna slap me?
346
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,541
Well, I'm gonna slap you! [slaps]
347
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,416
- [Lionel] Oh, he's a monster! Oh!
- [both slapping]
348
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:08,833
- [Asha sobs] I hate you so much!
- [Arsalan] Well, you're stuck with me.
349
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:11,750
"Till death do us part."
Remember that bit?
350
00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:14,083
- Now clean up this goddamn room!
- [door slams]
351
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:16,625
- [Asha sobbing]
- [Lionel grunts]
352
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,583
Oh, that was horrible!
353
00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:21,875
Do you think we should
clean up the room like he said?
354
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:24,583
[crying] I don't know what to do.
355
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,750
I feel so trapped.
356
00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,291
Well, well, okay. Let's see.
357
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:32,166
Oh! Here's a pitch.
Why don't we run away together?
358
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:37,416
Arsalan would rather kill me
than let me leave. I wish he were dead.
359
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,708
Oh, well, okay,
does he have any, uh, chronic illnesses?
360
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,833
Unfortunately, he's in perfect health.
361
00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:45,500
Oh, well. Well, there you go.
I guess we're stuck.
362
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,541
[seductively] Unless someone
takes matters into their own hands.
363
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:51,875
Yes. Uh, what?
You mean like, uh, murder him?
364
00:16:51,958 --> 00:16:54,666
Oh, my God! You would do that for me?
365
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:57,166
Oh! I suppose, uh...
366
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,250
[nervously] Yes? I'll kill your husband?
367
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,875
I love it.
368
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,541
- It's reprehensible.
- It's dastardly.
369
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:05,875
It's repugnant.
370
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,833
I guess murder's not such a big deal.
It's just, uh...
371
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:09,958
You know, it's just...
372
00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:12,291
What is it?
It's just taking a life, isn't it?
373
00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:14,166
- Shut up and kiss me!
- Oh, right.
374
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,416
[both moaning]
375
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,291
- Hey, is your friend running late?
- Oh, only one hour and 17 minutes.
376
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:23,458
So... you maybe wanna give up your table?
There's kind of a line.
377
00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:28,000
Yeah, buddy. We will blow you if
it'll get you out of that fucking booth.
378
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:30,125
Um, I'll just take the check.
379
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:33,291
- Hey.
- I love you.
380
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:34,750
- Really?
- I do, yes!
381
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,916
I've thought about it and I love you.
382
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:42,791
Oh, Rochelle, that makes me happier than...
than hour five of an ayahuasca trip.
383
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:46,000
- And if you don't know ayahuasca...
- Let me guess, it's the best part?
384
00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:47,208
It really is.
385
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:49,833
Ugh, you're a poet and a warrior, Dante.
386
00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,291
Ooh! Get in here.
387
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:52,666
[both moaning]
388
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:56,666
They should make a drink called,
"Backstabbing Whore on the Beach."
389
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:57,833
[chuckling]
390
00:17:57,916 --> 00:18:01,375
- I know somebody who would love that.
- Maybe you've had enough.
391
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:04,875
Oh, my God,
you're trying to take care of me?
392
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,125
[laughs] Are you into me?
393
00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:08,666
No, nope. Not at all.
394
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:14,083
[suggestively] Oh, no!
That makes horny baby Emmy so sad.
395
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,875
Okay, you should drink some water.
396
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:21,000
How about I drink that dick instead,
Dr. Responsibility?
397
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:21,916
No, thank you.
398
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,000
[melodramatic music playing]
399
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:29,708
Shall I just push him over the ledge?
Seems rather easy at the moment.
400
00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:31,916
I could just rush him like a hippopotamus.
401
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,333
No! A long fall is painless.
Too good for him. Use this instead.
402
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,500
Oh! A firearm.
403
00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:41,208
[suggestively] Oh, it's so sinister,
404
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,583
murdering your husband
right in front of you.
405
00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:48,083
Ooh, Lionel, I could steam broccoli
with my crotch right now.
406
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,333
Oh, my naughty little Instant Pot...
407
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:52,000
Oh! Hello... [chuckling]
408
00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:54,875
[excitedly] Now, go! Murder my husband!
409
00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,458
Yes, your kiss is my demand.
410
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,833
[suspenseful music playing]
411
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:08,750
Well, well, well, if it isn't
my conference-long enemy, Arsalan!
412
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:09,916
Who the fuck are you?
413
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,291
- [cocks gun] I'm your worst nightmare.
- What?
414
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:16,458
I'm a wizard with a firearm
who's making love to your wife.
415
00:19:16,541 --> 00:19:20,375
Ha-ha-ha! You're gonna shoot me,
you fucking weirdo?
416
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,708
- You don't have the balls and you don't...
- [gun fires]
417
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:23,666
Ahh!
418
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,916
- [whimpers]
- You did it! My hero!
419
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,708
Oh, I did! That was thrilling! Ah!
420
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:33,166
[nervously] Was it too heavy-handed
when I said, "your worst nightmare"?
421
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,041
I thought it really added some gravitas.
422
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:39,833
Oh, why thank you, Arsalan.
Arsalan! How did you...
423
00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:42,541
Bulletproof vest, you dumb asshole.
424
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,791
Ooh! Say goodnight, Lionel.
425
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:45,875
[Lionel grunts]
426
00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,583
Everything's weird now.
427
00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,291
I know! Now that we said "I love you,"
428
00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:54,166
I don't want to destroy your ass,
I want to protect it.
429
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:56,375
Damn it, Connie,
I knew this would ruin everything.
430
00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:58,541
Maybe we wouldn't have this problem
431
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:03,166
if you weren't saying the L word
to every damn monster in the whole hotel!
432
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:07,375
- Oh! Okay, here it comes. The blame game.
- I am blaming you 'cause it's your fault!
433
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:09,583
You pressured me to say it
and now you're mad at me?
434
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,791
- You said it and then you fucked me bad!
- No, you fucked me bad!
435
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,541
- I hate you!
- I hate you too!
436
00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:15,625
[both yelling]
437
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:17,875
[both sighing contentedly]
438
00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:23,458
I guess the trick is to show you that
I love you by fucking you like I hate you.
439
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:26,041
Oh, Maury, that's beautiful.
440
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,666
Man, we really
did a number on this room, huh?
441
00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:33,125
Hi, housekeeping? Would it be possible
for you to blindfold a housekeeper
442
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,458
and send her up with a flamethrower?
443
00:20:35,541 --> 00:20:38,833
Oh, excuse me, send "him" up.
Yeah, I stand corrected.
444
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:40,416
Well, it's a male housekeeper.
445
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,166
[Lionel groaning]
446
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:46,375
- What is this? Where am I?
- [Arsalan] You deceitful bastard.
447
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:49,916
You actually thought you were
going to murder me and steal my wife?
448
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,916
Actually, yes.
I was, uh, really excited about it.
449
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,666
Look at how humiliated he is.
450
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:58,375
What a desperate loser.
451
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,708
Let's make ravenous love
in front of him, darling.
452
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,958
Oh, I get it. I get it. Yes.
453
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:07,250
Yes, I'm a pawn
in your shameful sexual chess game.
454
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,833
- Yes, tell us how repulsive we are!
- Yeah, we are sick!
455
00:21:11,916 --> 00:21:13,958
- You're positively demented!
- [Arsalan] Mmm, yes.
456
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,291
You're truly unwell!
457
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:19,166
All three of us, each one more
disgusting and shameful than the next.
458
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:24,666
An unholy trinity of sickos
engaging in a perverted ménage à shame.
459
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,958
Indeed! Hurt me, lover.
460
00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:28,875
Ahh! Now you hurt me!
461
00:21:28,958 --> 00:21:30,583
- With pleasure!
- [slaps lightly]
462
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:33,000
I said hurt me, not tickle me!
463
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,416
- Oh, okay! Lookie what I found.
- Be careful with that.
464
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:39,375
Shut up, you wretched cuckold!
465
00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:41,684
- [Asha] Lionel...
- [laughing] I'm gonna kill him again!
466
00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:42,916
[both screaming]
467
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,083
Oh, shit! I thought you were
still wearing the vest!
468
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:47,541
Why the fuck
would he still be wearing the vest?
469
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,708
I don't know!
470
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:52,541
It stings!
It's so much worse than you imagine.
471
00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:54,458
- [Asha] No! No, no, no!
- I'm dying!
472
00:21:54,541 --> 00:21:56,958
Lionel, come,
help me put pressure on that wound.
473
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,000
Well, actually,
I think I'm gonna skedaddle.
474
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,625
[sighs] I'm not seeing my belt anywhere.
475
00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:04,875
- [sobbing] Lionel, please! He's dying!
- [Arsalan groaning]
476
00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:06,000
Yeah, right. Bye!
477
00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:07,250
[jazz music playing]
478
00:22:07,333 --> 00:22:12,916
And this year's winner
of the Global Creamathon is...
479
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,750
The Mexico City office.
480
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,583
- [crowd applauding]
- Hey! All right!
481
00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:20,125
Good for them, I love those guys.
I fucking hate you, though.
482
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:23,416
Aw! Tell you what, I'm gonna give you
a hand job under the table.
483
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,625
And I'm gonna put
both my thumbs in your butt.
484
00:22:25,708 --> 00:22:28,208
- I'm gonna need you to shift to the left.
- [exclaims]
485
00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:31,750
[drunkenly] Hey, waiter lady.
Two more Bloody Marys.
486
00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,041
And FYI, your ice cream sucks.
487
00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:35,500
That is butter, ma'am.
488
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,916
Okay, cool.
489
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:37,833
Is she okay?
490
00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:42,083
That's the friend that Rochelle
was "not an asshole to."
491
00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:43,000
Oh, dear.
492
00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:46,166
And now to present the Dolly Parton award.
493
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,708
Please welcome Vladimir,
494
00:22:48,791 --> 00:22:50,916
the fellating Hormone Monster.
495
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,875
- Go, Vlad, go!
- You're a shoo-in for this one, babe.
496
00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:58,833
You know, usually when I open envelope,
is money for fellating penis.
497
00:22:58,916 --> 00:23:00,166
[all laughing]
498
00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:02,083
The winner is
499
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:03,916
Rochelle Hillhurst!
500
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,791
- Come here, I'm fucking proud of you.
- [guest] Go, Rochelle!
501
00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:09,708
Boo! Boo! Okay, don't clap for her.
502
00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:14,375
What do you think, audience?
Should I give it to girl or fellate it?
503
00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:15,958
[all chanting] Fellate it!
504
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,791
- [crowd laughing]
- Just kidding. Congratulations, honey.
505
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,875
Wow! I don't know what to say.
506
00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:24,083
Say you're a lying, two-faced slut
and a shitty friend.
507
00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:25,791
- Hey, Emmy, calm down.
- Yeah!
508
00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:30,791
No, I'm not gonna calm down, Pete.
She's fucking Dante.
509
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:33,125
What? Rochelle and Dante?
510
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:38,083
Okay. Looks like somebody
took open bar as a challenge.
511
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,250
- [crowd laughs]
- You're such a smug bitch!
512
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,166
[crowd gasps]
513
00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:43,666
Emmy, sit down,
you're making a fool of yourself.
514
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,708
Oh, yeah, that's right!
515
00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:48,916
'Cause I'm the fool
and you're the perfect one!
516
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,666
- That's not what I said.
- But it's what you think!
517
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:53,208
You always thought that,
518
00:23:53,291 --> 00:23:57,541
and now you're getting this stupid award,
but heads up, you guys!
519
00:23:57,625 --> 00:24:01,250
[loudly] Rochelle doesn't love anything
but her own greedy pussy.
520
00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:02,166
Emmy, stop it.
521
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:05,291
You can shut
all your three dickholes, bitch!
522
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:10,416
And speaking of bitches,
you're the bitchiest bitch of them all!
523
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:14,500
Hey, it's not my fault I'm successful
and you're a world-class fuck-up!
524
00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:16,000
- [crowd gasps]
- [Emmy growls]
525
00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:20,000
I fucking hate you, Rochelle,
and I hate this conference,
526
00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:24,333
and I hate Maury and Connie
jerking each other off under the table!
527
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:26,500
All right,
we got a shout-out in her tirade!
528
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:29,041
[drunkenly] And I hate
how this room suddenly got...
529
00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:31,250
[groans] ...very spinny.
530
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:35,375
Emmy! Honey, honey, you're getting
very hate-wormy. Are you okay?
531
00:24:35,458 --> 00:24:39,583
What, a woman can't speak her mind
without being "unwell"?
532
00:24:39,666 --> 00:24:40,791
[vomiting]
533
00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:44,041
- [guest 1] Fucking disgusting!
- [guest 2] On my fucking tits!
534
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:45,166
[guest 3] Oh, God!
535
00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,750
Actually, yeah, I don't feel that great.
536
00:24:50,916 --> 00:24:54,416
Goodbye, my love!
Thank you for a beautiful weekend.
537
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:58,416
We'll always have the Radisson
in the sky above North Korea, my darling.
538
00:24:59,125 --> 00:25:02,041
Psst. Hey, I heard
you fuckin' killed someone last night.
539
00:25:02,125 --> 00:25:07,583
No, no, no, he's gonna live,
but I am down one braided fashion belt.
540
00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:08,875
[sighs]
541
00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:12,291
I mean, logically, I can't be upset
about Rochelle and Dante.
542
00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:14,625
We weren't together
and Rochelle has autonomy.
543
00:25:14,708 --> 00:25:16,166
Pete, shut the fuck up.
544
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,375
You're allowed
to be upset and feel things.
545
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:19,666
Well, no offense, Emmy,
546
00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:23,083
but you're not the best
brand ambassador for feeling things.
547
00:25:23,166 --> 00:25:26,208
I think it's better
to bury all my emotions deep down.
548
00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:27,833
I wish I could do that.
549
00:25:27,916 --> 00:25:28,916
[sighing]
550
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,583
What's up, Maury? That's your fourth sigh
in two minutes. Spit it out.
551
00:25:32,666 --> 00:25:35,500
Nothing! I'm just really, really
552
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:37,250
not in love with you.
553
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:39,791
Well, good. Let's keep it that way.
554
00:25:39,875 --> 00:25:40,875
Okay.
555
00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:44,208
["Eternelle" by Brigitte Fontaine
playing in French]