What's happening, y'all? This is E-40 and you ain't
gonna believe what happened last week on Blindspotting.
Bitch.
Why is he in jail?
He tried to do the right thing at a really bad time.
[upbeat music plays]
What's up? Big hug, big hug.
Give me all your gold. Uh-uh, come up off it.
[Trish] So when's y'all's next family visit?
[Ashley] Actually, they gave us another slot
the next weekend.
- [screams] - [screams]
[dramatic music plays]
♪ ♪
[E-40] This right here is the tale of a little,
itty, bitty mustard seed.
The seed's name is Sean Turner,
his papa bear tucked in the slammer,
and a wanted outlaw named Ashley Rose.
♪ ♪
[singer] ♪ Yahoo! ♪
[bird cries]
♪ ♪
[bell tolls]
[soft music plays]
♪ ♪
[gun cocks]
♪ ♪
You an outlaw, ain't ya?
One is only an outlaw if one gets caught,
and I do not get caught.
Guess that makes my pa an outlaw.
Oaktown sheriff got him in a tumbleweed wagon
at the edge of this here town.
I came here fixin' to bust him out of jail.
Saying a prayer for the mission ahead.
[sighs]
You're gonna break him out, alone?
Have you seen the sheriff's muscle?
You gonna need more than a load of pointers.
I brought backup,
big backup, for when the time come.
Sure you did.
But that town down there was run by
Sheriff Renrut and the Niner gang,
and the Niner gang is as ruthless as they come.
If you value being on this side of the Pearly Gates,
you best think twice about crossin' 'em.
But they the ones that have my pa.
He got separated by his crew, and they ambushed him.
- What'd he do? - [Sean] I wasn't there,
but he ain't a bad man.
Tried to do the right thing at the wrong time is all.
Yeah, Ashley Rose felt hella bad for the young moustache,
and she was wrestling her own demons
like two Tasmanian devils in the trunk.
So she thought then and there,
"This may be the cleanser that sends himself,
throwing her a pass if she pressed the gas."
Bitch.
Guess you need me at your flank then, huh?
You gonna help me?
What's in it for you?
Well, kid, let's just say
I've done more wrong in my life than right,
and I came here in search of forgiveness
or guidance or penance, and here you come.
I reckon that's a sign of sorts.
♪ ♪
[gun cocks]
Them things loaded?
Saddle up. We got a jailbird to free.
[dramatic music plays]
♪ ♪
See? They got my pa in a cage.
[suspenseful music plays]
That means they intend to move him by dawn.
We must be quick about this.
I know that man.
He's an outlaw too.
- [Sean] Will he help us? - [Ashley] We shall see.
[E-40] Sean and Ashley had another thing coming,
thinking they was finna pull up
without anybody taking notice.
[person 1] Looks like they cover their face.
[person 2] I reckon they're up to no good.
♪ ♪
All right, boy, let's settle in here,
and then we'll hold up at the saloon after nightfall,
see who else we can rally for our cause.
Let's go.
[E-40] Bet y'all think fools with gold
built up all the towns in the Old West, huh?
Let me sprinkle you, mayne.
The real gouda for all that was made by females,
sex working females all about they scriznilla.
[wolf howls]
Now, Kinky Blinders was a no-nonsense type of spot
where you either pay to play or you're on your win-ay.
♪ ♪
[raucous chatter and whistling]
[lively piano music playing]
♪ ♪
Tequila.
What'll it be, partner?
Uh, I already had
so many alcohols before I came.
We got milkshakes.
Strawberry straight up.
All right, now, take a good look, boy.
This here what we're up against.
Why, I bet every gunslinger in here
was bought and paid for by the Niner gang.
What big business have you two?
You look of sus and mischief.
I aim to help this young fella
save his daddy from the clutches of the Niner gang.
They got his pa at the lip of town in some god-awful cage.
Now, I know you hate being under their boot the same,
so make with the backstory.
[tense music plays]
This here is Sheriff Renrut's town.
He run the Niners gang full and is a ruthless old cuss,
but just so happens
he's tending to other business this very day.
You best talk to the madam here
you fixing to make that move.
Y'all might be less alone than you think when it comes
to the business of freein' one Miles Turner.
[Trish] That is not how you treat my girls!
Here she comes.
[cowboy groaning]
And even if it's just the tip, you still gotta tip, nigga.
- [laughter] - [cowboy groans]
Fuck out of my way. [gasps]
- Sean? - [gasps]
Is that my long-lost nephew? Boy, come here, baby.
How are you? Oh, my goodness.
Mm-mm.
Oh, my gosh.
- Tía Trish! - Shh!
Boy, not my government name.
Now, what you doing way out here?
Fixing to free my daddy someway, somehow.
Well, boy, you done came at the right time,
'cause that's exactly what I'm fixing to do.
I need someone small
for my plan to bust my dear brother out.
I was hoping to use Jacque here, but she giggles.
[giggles and groans]
Who this be with you?
Ashley Rose. She's an outlaw.
Mm, can't we just roll up,
do some blam-blam, grab him, and run?
[scoffs]
Sure, if you're ready to meet your maker,
but I have a better plan.
Now, you listen close,
because he will be here any minute.
Who?
The deputy.
That's a real dangerous motherfucker.
[suspenseful music plays]
Now, the deputy and his Niner gang
are the sheriff's main muscle in this town.
They come riding in at the same time every night
for beans and their whiskey,
and then a night with some of my girls.
He's a tall and mean son of a bitch.
He's got the keys to the prison wagon
hanging right there on his hip day and night,
and that's what we need.
Get out of my way.
[laughter]
[Trish] Now, the plan is to Mickey Finn his whiskey,
which he orders fresh to the table every night
so as to avoid poisoning.
Now, we must be slick as a mule's whistle
if this plan is to work, so quick,
do exactly as I say
and stay low.
He's here.
[tense music plays]
♪ ♪
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
[lively piano music playing]
♪ ♪
Beans and whiskey, darling.
[server] Right away, sir.
Thank you, bean boy.
Or is it Chili the Kid?
[laughter]
Chili the Kid! [laughs]
He's named Chili... [laughs]
[laughter]
[Montana] Go on now. Go on.
- [piano music stops] - What in the tarnation?
- [Sean gasps] - [Trish] Oh, oh, oh.
It was just one of them western quakes.
- You remember those? - Oh, yeah.
- You know how they go. - Of course I do, baby.
- Yeah. - [laughs]
[piano music resumes]
♪ ♪
I'd like ten minutes with you.
[Jacque] I'm resting my bones for a moment.
Come on, darling.
Ain't no rest around the Niner gang.
Come on now.
[mouths words]
Oh, ee.
Uh, there's a suspiciously little person...
[groans]
[guns cocking]
[gasps] Oh!
Oh, my goodness. Oh, Deputy.
Oh, I'm so frightened, Deputy. Oh, please protect me.
I just cannot believe what's going on over here.
[deputy] What game you playing at?
I'm so frightened! I'm so frightened.
- [deputy mumbles] Zoe! - [Trish] Oh, Lord.
Oh, please.
[deputy] Get off me.
Need I bust a charge or can we go about our business?
[gasps]
[Trish] Drinks on the house, everybody!
- Drinks on the house. - [all cheering]
[cowboy 1] Why, thank you.
♪ ♪
[Trish] Sit down, sit down.
[cowboy 2] Ah, thank you, Miss Zoe.
[Trish] Yeah.
♪ ♪
Now, Deputy, you ready for some dessert?
I got my eye on you, girl.
You best mind me too.
I ain't with the fuckery.
[card player] Well, I'm... all in.
Can't finish your whiskey?
[tense music plays]
♪ ♪
Boss, I just had the craziest dream.
I was being chased by a shark, and he was trying to bite me,
- but I bit him first. - Do I look like I care?
Sorry, Boss.
♪ ♪
[glass shatters]
[lively piano music playing]
♪ ♪
[card player] Oh, what...
All right, that's it.
The wheels are in motion.
Meet me at the far end of town in an hour.
He should be sleep as a corpse by then.
I should be on with the keys.
[suspenseful music plays]
♪ ♪
[Ashley] What's taking Trish so long?
She'll get here when she gets here.
[wolf howls]
All right, kid, let's take a nap.
- Wake up. - Oh, geez.
Wake up, you hogs. Took him all night,
but finally got him down long enough to get his keys.
We about to raid. Y'all are in the gang now.
[shushes] Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
♪ ♪
[Sean] It's quiet.
[E-40] But something was out of pocket on this dusty trail.
Everybody was tucked like a button-up at a quinceañera.
Hello.
It's a trap!
[person] Hyah!
♪ ♪
[gasps]
You bitches have poisoned me!
[Jacque whimpering]
Don't hurt her.
I'm the deputy,
and this is my town.
And he's my prisoner.
- [gunshot] - No!
[Montana] Throw your guns down before Sheriff Renrut returns,
and I might ask him to spare your life
from the hangman's noose.
[Ashley] Well, boy, if you have that backup,
now's the time for them to show.
[whistles]
[eerie growling]
[stomping]
[Ashley] Yup, that'll do it.
What the fuck is that?
Now we can make time for the blam-blam.
Fuck the Niners!
[gunfire]
[dramatic music plays]
[roars]
♪ ♪
Got her? Go, go, go.
♪ ♪
[Niner screams]
Oh, shit.
[gun clicks]
Fuck, I'm out.
[Trish] Hey, I got you, girl.
[gun cocks]
Look out! Move.
[both] Whoo!
I got to get you to that wagon. Come on. Let's go.
♪ ♪
[bandit 1] Come here, kid.
[groans]
[bandit 2] Not so fast.
[groans]
Go get your daddy, boy.
Oh, come on. Run. Run. Come on.
Look out.
Oh. [chuckles]
Get down. Down.
[door buzzer blares]
[Miles] Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Roll call. Sorry.
[Sean] Having fun, bruh?
Definitely.
[Miles] All right. All right.
Here we go.
Okay.
Now, let's get back to this bobbery of brutes.
[gunfire]
♪ ♪
[gun clicks]
[groans]
Go. Go. Go. Hurry. Hurry.
Where are ya?
I'm gonna gut you like a pig, boy.
Shit!
♪ ♪
[Nancy] Go, go, go.
[Miles] Hey, my boy.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I brought friends.
Good. [chuckles]
All right, get that key. No, not that one.
Try another one. Try another one.
Hands off the cage, boy.
Your daddy belongs to the sheriff now.
Leave him alone, Montana.
[laughs]
Whoo! Come here. Come on.
[screams]
[both] Whoa.
But...
you're just a bean cook.
No, no.
I'm the Spice King, and I'm a son of a bitch.
- [gunshot] - [bell tolls]
- [bandit 3] Hey, kid! - [Earl] Let's go.
[bandit 3] Give up those keys.
Come on, come on. Throw me those keys.
Go, go, go. Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Go!
♪ ♪
Come on, come on, come on.
Whoo! Got the keys? Come on. Here we go.
Come on, get 'em in.
The-the small one. Come on, get the small one.
Get the small one and come on.
[Young] We have you surrounded.
[Miles] Oh, shit.
♪ ♪
[Young laughs]
Well, we can't be mad at you.
We was always gonna kill you.
Gotta make room for all the new settlers
who actually contri...
contribute to society.
[laughs]
[gunshots]
[Young] Where are they?
Show yourselves.
Hey!
Y'all clear out now
and you won't get hurt by the other end of my hammer.
[Young] You're outgunned.
[person] Oh, really?
Not if you count these.
[cheering]
[Miles] My guy!
What it do, playboy?
♪ ♪
- [Miles] All right. Come on. - [cheering]
Let's go.
- [Collin] Hey there, Rainey. - [Janelle] Hey, mama.
[Miles] Oh, yeah, right. Try all of them.
[dramatic music plays]
It's-it's one of the smaller keys.
[Ashley] Try the bigger key. Bigger key.
- [Miles] Small one. - [growls]
And get it back in. Get it back--no, keep going.
Keep...
No!
[Miles] Shit. Go, go.
♪ ♪
That's for Jacque.
- [Miles] Help, help. - [Ashley groans]
My boy, come here.
[laughs] You okay?
- Yeah. - All right.
Hey, you saved him.
[Trish] Okay, okay. All right, okay.
Yeah, she's clipped pretty good,
but she's-she's gonna be okay.
- She's gonna be okay. - Okay.
[person] Miles Turner!
Get up. Get up.
[tense music plays]
♪ ♪
[E-40] Oh, boy. The big boss.
[sheriff] I knew this day would come.
It's over, Sheriff.
These Oaktown raiders have bested you.
You did this to yourself, Miles.
Wait.
I know that voice.
You're damn right you do,
brother.
His twin brother.
What is this?
Shh, it's a metaphor.
Born 6.66 seconds after me
and evil as the day is long.
This is between you and me, all right?
You leave them out of this.
You may have been quicker out of mother,
but I'll be the quicker one today.
- [spits] - [clang]
'Cause today's the day we end this
once and for all.
A showdown.
♪ ♪
Fuck the police.
♪ ♪
[whistling melody]
[gunshots]
[sheriff groans]
[dramatic music plays]
♪ ♪
Fashiggadale.
[laughing]
Now, you,
how did you make it this far?
Her. She helped me.
Hey.
[Miles] What's up, girl?
Thank you for helping my boy. You saved his life.
How's that wound?
I've had worse.
[Miles] Yeah, me too.
[sentimental music plays]
Well, safe travels.
[Miles] Thank you.
You know, I could use some help raising this boy.
I'm no good.
Yeah, well, we all have our sins.
- [Ashley chuckles] - Why don't you come with us?
♪ ♪
How 'bout it?
All right.
[grunts]
[dramatic music plays]
♪ ♪
[E-40] Well, look like our three banditos
then became three amigos.
They rode, hand in hand, all across the land,
blazing new trails and tales for another day.
♪ ♪
Damn.
The fuck is the motherfucking
Steven Stealberg going on here?
[groans]
[indistinct chatter]
[zombies groaning]
♪ ♪
Zombie cowboys!
[Nancy] Oh, hell no.
♪ ♪
[door buzzer blares]
Thanks for saving me.
You are the toughest kid in the West.
Can't you just come with us for real this time?
Uh...
...I can't do that.
But, um...
...I will be here for you to break out
all over again in another month or two, okay?
Come back to me now.
[door shuts]
I love you, my boy.
I love you, Dad.
[Miles] You too, girl.
I love you too.
[soft music plays]
♪ ♪