1
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Previously on
United States of Al...

2
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How do you keep getting out of
work in the middle of the day?

3
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,007
I mix up the excuses.

4
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,487
Today I'm at the dentist,
which I can sell

5
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,141
'cause my jaw is
a little sore.

6
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,751
I slept with someone.

7
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,536
Who?It doesn't matter.

8
00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:16,668
It was Sourpuss Barbie,
wasn't it?

9
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,061
I have never been
with a woman.

10
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,933
Oh, I have.
You should try it. It's great.

11
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,067
I think I'm ready to take our
relationship to the next level.

12
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,765
Oh, Al!

13
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,637
My baby bird is jumping out
of the nest.

14
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,726
Bad kid! Bad kid!

15
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,380
I know it's none
of my business.

16
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:36,210
If he ever messes up, I'll
straighten him out, I promise.

17
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,348
Professor, hi.
You wanted to see me?

18
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,568
Yes, I was going over
the class research papers,

19
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,004
and yours was of concern.

20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,615
I didn't hand anything in.

21
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,139
That's my concern.

22
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,793
That paper was 20%
of your grade.

23
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:58,884
Okay, well, I have
a very good excuse.

24
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,147
I have a beautiful girlfriend,

25
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,410
and she keeps
taking her clothes off.

26
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:06,327
You really don't signal
before you turn, do you?

27
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:10,244
But since you're dating
my best friend's sister,

28
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,506
I shouldn't be worried, right?

29
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,029
You should be worried.

30
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,293
The subject of my email was,
"You should be worried."

31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:19,470
You do understand that up until
very recently, I was a virgin.

32
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,690
Pure as the driven snow.

33
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:25,302
But now, as you can see,
I'm a stud.

34
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,523
Yeah, I get it. The oxytocin
and dopamine released

35
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,613
during sex can be
as powerful as narcotics.

36
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,790
Especially the way
Cindy does it.

37
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:37,271
There's a famous experiment
on mice

38
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,186
where they kept pushing a button

39
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,840
that stimulated the same
pleasure centers of the brain

40
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,712
where the orgasm is located.

41
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:46,236
Good for them.

42
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,761
They kept hitting the button
until they died.

43
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:54,940
How many times did they hit it?
I'll do one less.

44
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,683
Mr. Karimi, if you do not
ace the final exam,

45
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,468
you will fail this class.

46
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,904
What are you smiling at?

47
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,558
It's a video from Cindy.

48
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,734
She's dancing naked
in her bathroom.

49
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,606
Well, I can't show you.

50
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,347
That is correct.

51
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:12,567
♪

52
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,134
♪ Oh!

53
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,624
What's good here?

54
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,104
The prices.

55
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,410
How's the food?

56
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,760
The prices are good.

57
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,153
Where's Al?

58
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,764
Cindy's. He practically
lives there now.

59
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,809
Aw, I'm glad
the kid's having fun.

60
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:40,899
Too much fun. Brett says
he's bombing out of class.

61
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,249
Seriously?
Mm-hmm.

62
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,641
Ooh, that's not good.

63
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,904
Hey, Holly.
Hey, Art.

64
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,776
You're looking well. Lois.

65
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,473
We met at the Christmas party.

66
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,997
Lizzie, love the hair.

67
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,783
Hi.
No.

68
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,134
Uh, beers all around, please.

69
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,180
Coming up.

70
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:04,706
If I order food, will you
take a bite of it first?

71
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,795
I'm worried about Al.

72
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,666
When my son got
his first girlfriend,

73
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,102
he almost flunked
out of high school.

74
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,627
I had to take his phone
and car away.

75
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:16,152
Did it work?He's a very successful
Jet Ski salesman,

76
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,328
so I don't know how
to answer that.

77
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,331
Well, we got
to do something.

78
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,812
I promised his mom I'd keep him
on the straight and narrow.

79
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:27,555
I screw up a kid for the third
time, it's definitely my fault.

80
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,557
No offense?

81
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,124
No offense, what?

82
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:36,259
Here you go.

83
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,660
Hey, if she spit
in it, so what?

84
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,792
She's had her tongue
in your mouth.

85
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,795
True.

86
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,714
Ah. Good morning, Hazel.

87
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,107
Turn around and leave.

88
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,674
Why?

89
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:02,329
You're in trouble.For what?

90
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,156
ART:
Al, could you please
come in the kitchen?

91
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,246
It's not too late. Run.

92
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:11,425
Nobody listens to me.

93
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,472
Uh, everything okay?

94
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,865
Sit down.

95
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,910
Here?

96
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,782
There's good.

97
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,741
Lizzie?

98
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,135
Thank you.

99
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,224
Brett says you're close
to flunking out.

100
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,487
He is such a gossip.

101
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,619
Al...

102
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,142
It's no big deal.

103
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,970
Mr. Art, I have
my final exam coming up.

104
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,537
All I need is to study
for a few days.

105
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,060
Great. Start right now.

106
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,496
I can't.
I have to get some sleep.

107
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:44,109
Why?
Because I haven't been
getting a lot of sleep.

108
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,504
Al, I made a promise
to your mother,

109
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:50,377
so I need you
to buckle down.Thank you so much

110
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,856
for being concerned about me.

111
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,032
I-I will focus more attention
to my studies.

112
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,513
Yeah, just to be safe,
why don't we agree that

113
00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,819
you're not gonna
see your girlfriend

114
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,734
until after you pass your exam?

115
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,736
I don't think that's necessary.

116
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,999
I'll just call your mom.

117
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,001
Oh, please
don't do that.

118
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,568
What time is it in Kabul?

119
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,047
Almost midnight.She stay up late?

120
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,875
Oh, she's a night owl.Oh.

121
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:13,487
No, no, please, please,
d-don't call my mother.

122
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,750
I'll study, I'll study!

123
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,188
Extortion--
never goes out of style.

124
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,276
[laughs]

125
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:25,760
Women are crazy, right?

126
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:29,285
Keep talking,
then I'll weigh in.

127
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,940
My ex-wife wants to hook up
tonight at a motel.

128
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,420
So?

129
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,379
So, we're divorced... I think.

130
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,164
I mean, she's sleeping with me,
she's living with another guy.

131
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,470
It's crazy.

132
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:45,475
My granddaughter says
"cray cray." Adorable.

133
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,696
I'm sorry. Are you with me here,
or am I talking to myself?

134
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,046
You're acting like
you have no say in this.

135
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,222
She tells you
to show up at the Motel 6

136
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,572
and have sex with her,
and you just go.

137
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:56,834
Well, they put up
the Bat-Signal,

138
00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,010
Batman can't not show up.

139
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:04,886
I'm not sure what you're doing
counts as a public service.

140
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:09,804
If all she wants is
meaningless sex, why pick me?

141
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,893
Look, I'm not concerned
about Vanessa.

142
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:14,025
I'm yourtherapist.

143
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,332
I want to know
why youare doing something

144
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,681
that's stressing you out.

145
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,335
'Cause she's super hot.

146
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,989
No, that's not it.

147
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,382
I mean, you go
to a boat show,

148
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,949
you can't throw a rock,
you don't hit a ten.

149
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,604
Why are you doing this?

150
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:30,215
'Cause I'm dumb.

151
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,610
Mm. Peel another layer
off that onion, son.

152
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,179
'Cause I keep thinking
we'll get back together?

153
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,703
Thank you.

154
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,969
What's the test about?

155
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,537
Uh, everything we
learned this year.

156
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,235
Why do they got to do that?
It's like they don't trust you.

157
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,674
Can I give you a tip?

158
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,327
I am all ears.

159
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,764
Sit near someone smart.

160
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,592
Are you suggesting I cheat?

161
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:01,769
Of course not.

162
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:06,121
Aah, this is impossible.
How am I supposed to concentrate

163
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,732
when everything I read
makes me think of Cindy?

164
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,125
Basal ganglia?

165
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,909
Cindy's favorite
herb is basil.

166
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,302
Corpus callosum?

167
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,870
Cindy's grandmother
lives in Corpus Christi.

168
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,872
Frontal lobes?

169
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,483
Never mind.

170
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,832
Sweetheart,
take a hike.

171
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,834
Ah.Not you.

172
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,446
Do you have some homework
you can do?

173
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,491
I can find some.

174
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,669
First of all, I want you
to know I'm proud of you.

175
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,671
You're showing a lot
of discipline.

176
00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:35,933
You think?

177
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,674
Trust me, I know.

178
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,720
Sex can be like
an addiction.

179
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,636
It's tough to quit even
when you know you should.

180
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,246
But you got to stay strong.

181
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:48,293
Ah, thank you, Riley Jaan.
Your words have inspired me.

182
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,948
Good. Now,
if you'll excuse me,

183
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,385
Vanessa just put up
the Bat-Signal.

184
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,650
What happened
to staying strong?

185
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,956
It's too late for me.
Save yourself.

186
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,708
Hi.

187
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,884
Hi.

188
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,800
I'll just close this.

189
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,153
[sputters]

190
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,941
So, I just reached out
to Professor Brett, and if

191
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,595
I meet him at his office,
he's gonna help me study.

192
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,857
What a guy.

193
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,859
Right now?Right now.

194
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:35,906
Oh, that's weird. I'm, uh, about
to go and have dinner with him.

195
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,474
Really?
Really.

196
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,520
Shoot.

197
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,435
Get back in there.

198
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:44,828
Please. I am

199
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,438
going through
dopamine withdrawal.

200
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,440
And that is not an excuse.
That is actual psychology.

201
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,486
Is it now?Yes! My brain has
become dependent

202
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,967
on a certain level
of gratification.

203
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,056
When you think about it,
having sex with Cindy

204
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,537
is just hands-on learning.

205
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,625
What time is it in Kabul?

206
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,365
I'm going!

207
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:07,590
What are you doing out here?

208
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,722
Someone could see you.

209
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,201
Can we talk?Yeah, let's go inside.

210
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,812
No, I won't be able
to say what I got to say.

211
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,379
There's a bed in there.[scoffs]

212
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,468
Fine. What is it?

213
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,341
I just feel like
this is messing with my head,

214
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,038
my basal ganglia.

215
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:25,042
What?It's a part of the brain.
I've been helping Al study.

216
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,916
I feel weird
sneaking around like this.

217
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,657
What else are we gonna do?

218
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,615
I don't know. Not this.

219
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,704
Don't you want more?Riley,

220
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,837
this is all I've got
right now.

221
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,579
[sighs]

222
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,016
Then I think I'm done.

223
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,758
That's it?

224
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,281
You're done with me?

225
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:48,631
No, I'm done with this.

226
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,155
Okay.

227
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:54,768
Sounds like
you've made up your mind.

228
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:57,422
I have.

229
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,208
Well...

230
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,210
the room's already paid for, so,

231
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,429
I'm gonna go take a shower.

232
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,480
Oh! Damn it!

233
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,494
Whoa!

234
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,629
Hey, buddy.

235
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,415
Appreciate you taking out
the garbage.

236
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,938
Sure. Sure. Um,

237
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,375
what's happening to my car?

238
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,377
You've been working so hard,

239
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,684
I thought I'd do you a favor
and rotate your tires.

240
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,251
That wasn't necessary.

241
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,209
Oh, stop. You deserve it.

242
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,603
It's not like
you're going anywhere.

243
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,909
True.

244
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:53,000
Which is a shame because
you look snappy. Hmm.

245
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:57,569
Isn't part of rotating
the tires putting them back on?

246
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,659
Yeah.

247
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,444
Don't bother
looking for 'em, though.

248
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,488
Why not?

249
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,056
'Cause I also
took out your battery.

250
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,152
It's a nice surprise,
you showing up.

251
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,719
It's been a weird couple
of days around here.

252
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,329
Yeah, it wasn't my idea.

253
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,723
Riley sent me a text saying you
needed some girlfriend time.

254
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,160
Well, that was thoughtful
of him.

255
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,467
I wonder if he needs money.

256
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,643
Where's Al?

257
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,079
He's in the garage studying.

258
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,299
No, he's not. I thought
you were watching him.

259
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,343
I thought
you were watching him.

260
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,823
He must've snuck out

261
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,390
while you were out here
having pizza with Lois.

262
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,740
Hey, you're the one
who invited me.

263
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:38,828
No, I didn't.

264
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:42,789
Yes, you did.
Here. Look at this text.

265
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,355
"You are the only river

266
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,490
that can quench my father's
thirst for love and affection."

267
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,842
That sound like me?

268
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:55,323
Damn it! We got played.

269
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,759
What do you want to bet
he's at Cindy's?

270
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,021
Let's go get him.

271
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,022
Ooh, can I come?

272
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,023
Might get ugly.

273
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,156
That's why I'm asking.

274
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:04,680
Come on.

275
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,382
This is exciting.

276
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,689
You think we'll get
to break a door down?

277
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,038
Maybe.

278
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,737
Well, fingers crossed.

279
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,218
So, where does
this Cindy live?

280
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,567
No idea.

281
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,874
Well, then
where are we going?The VFW.

282
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,441
Holly knows the address.

283
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,095
Isn't that the girl
you cheated on?

284
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,010
Thanks, Dad.

285
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,968
It's good stuff.

286
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,108
Hey.
Hey.

287
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,979
Back for more spit?

288
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,676
[sighs]

289
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,678
I, um... I need
Cindy's address.

290
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,290
Why? You gonna sleep
with her, too?

291
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,727
Al's there, and I got
to rescue him.

292
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,424
From what?

293
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,904
He's gonna flunk
out of school

294
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,558
if he doesn't get
his act together.

295
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,778
What does Cindy have
to do with it?

296
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:01,911
She's, uh-- well, I don't
know how to say it--

297
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:05,741
she's... distracting
his brains out?

298
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,743
Yeah.

299
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,310
That's Cindy.

300
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,790
Tell you what.

301
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,314
I'll give you the address
if you answer one question.

302
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,970
When you were sleeping with me,
were you still in love with her?

303
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,411
Yes.

304
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,850
Okay.

305
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,987
[spits]

306
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,947
Thank you.

307
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,126
So what do we do
if he won't come with us?

308
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,128
All we can do is talk
to him like an adult.

309
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:48,044
And if that doesn't work?You get his arms,
I'll get his legs.

310
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,219
What do I get?

311
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,308
I don't know. You open doors.

312
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,571
Aw.

313
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,357
Oh. Riley.

314
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,054
Well, this is
a surprise.

315
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,622
Is Al here?Yeah, he's in the bedroom.

316
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,059
Hello.

317
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,887
Ma'am.

318
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,937
So, between the three of you,
nobody has a phone?

319
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,553
Your friend Riley is here,

320
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,468
and I think he brought
two cops with him.

321
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,339
What?

322
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,081
They're undercover,
but I can tell.

323
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,474
[sighs]

324
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,910
This is about my final exam.

325
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,738
He wants me
to go home and study.

326
00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:32,915
You would tell me if you were
15 years old, right?

327
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,440
Do me a favor.

328
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:37,702
Say I went out the window

329
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,749
and climbed down the wall
like Spider-man.

330
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,970
Boy, can I pick 'em.

331
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:47,712
[laughs]
Look. He just smiled at me.

332
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,497
Dad, can fish smile?

333
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,760
Sure.

334
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,983
I'm sorry,
but Al is indisposed.

335
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:59,724
Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I can't
take "no" for an answer.

336
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,465
Well, it's the only answer
I got, cop.

337
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,772
Now get out of my apartment!

338
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,557
Just let me talk to him.

339
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994
Unless we're done talking.

340
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,083
Easy, girl.

341
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,650
I told him you were here.

342
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,870
He doesn't want to see you.
End of story.

343
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,569
Okay. You win, Al!
We're leaving!

344
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,311
You want to flunk out
of school, your call.

345
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,922
Come on.

346
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,141
I was ready to rumble.

347
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,795
I know.

348
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,841
I really like your fish.Out!

349
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,152
Huh?

350
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,414
They're gone.

351
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,590
Thank you. Now...

352
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,897
where were we?

353
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,552
Are you really
gonna flunk out?Eh.

354
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,554
Doesn't matter.
When you're in my arms,

355
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,426
the rest of the world
doesn't exist.

356
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,776
Oh, that is so lovely.

357
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,040
Now put your pants on
and go home.

358
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,172
What is happening?

359
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,870
Not gonna let you
throw away your education.

360
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:01,743
This here, right now,
ismy education.

361
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:05,355
No, I'm cutting you off
until you pass that exam.

362
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,748
You're bluffing.

363
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,664
You want me...

364
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,797
as much as I want you.

365
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,976
Not bluffing.

366
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,806
[chuckles softly]

367
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,460
What?

368
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:26,986
I was just thinking about the
first time you and me hooked up.

369
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,814
The night
of the homecoming dance?

370
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:33,514
No, it was earlier
than that, in the car.

371
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,212
Oh. I don't count that one.

372
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,216
How can you not count it?

373
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,218
Really?

374
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:44,568
You don't remember apologizing?

375
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,310
[both laugh]

376
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,746
Don't blame yourself.

377
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:51,271
It was our first time.

378
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,669
It was your first time, right?

379
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,671
Yeah, of course it was...

380
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,586
You rat bastard.

381
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,023
What do you want from me?

382
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,199
I lettered in three sports,
I was super popular.

383
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:09,071
[laughing]:
Oh, my gosh.

384
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,160
[laughs]

385
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,864
You have never been
more beautiful.

386
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:24,782
There's something
I need to tell you.

387
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,221
What?

388
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,616
God. Um...

389
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,923
there's no good way
to say this.

390
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:38,579
Say what?

391
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,585
Freddy asked me
to marry him.

392
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,765
You said "no," right?

393
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,291
Right?

394
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,214
Professor,

395
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,737
do you have a moment?

396
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:09,827
Mr. Karimi, what can I do
for you outside of office hours?

397
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,744
I just wanted to tell you I felt
really good about the exam.

398
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,659
Oh, I'm happy for you.Yes.

399
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,096
I felt really good.

400
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,010
All righty.

401
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,143
Well, thanks for stopping by.

402
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:24,190
Uh, have you graded them yet?

403
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,844
What do you think?Oh, sure, sure.

404
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,846
So, uh...

405
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,240
when?

406
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,895
I don't know.
A couple days, a week.

407
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:36,506
A week, as in seven days?

408
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,334
What are you worried about?
You studied, right?

409
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,858
Like my life depended on it.Then I'm sure you did fine.

410
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,251
Yes, I-I know I did fine.

411
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,688
But I need proof.Why?

412
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:47,256
Well, uh, since you ask, um,

413
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,172
my mother is very concerned
about my grades.

414
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,088
Tell her not to be.
You're a very smart young man.

415
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,785
Mm, as are you.

416
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,526
But all this time

417
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,747
we're talking, you-you could be
grading my exam.

418
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:03,185
All right, Mr. Karimi,
what's really going on here?

419
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:06,145
My mother...Mr. Karimi!

420
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,581
My girlfriend won't
have sex with me

421
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,192
unless I pass this course!

422
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,542
Why didn't you just lead
with that? Yeah.

423
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:16,372
All right, let's see
what we have here.

424
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,766
You know, the promise of sex
is the driving force

425
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,420
in a lot of human behavior.

426
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,944
Dial down the chitchat.
Just grade the exam.

427
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,599
Yeah, go ahead.

428
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:37,611
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429
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:38,655
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