1 00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:13,159 (speaking Latin) 2 00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:16,597 (girl) Hello! 3 00:01:17,337 --> 00:01:18,904 English, please. 4 00:01:18,947 --> 00:01:21,733 I'm surrounded by idiots. 5 00:01:21,776 --> 00:01:23,517 That girl is a lot. 6 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,562 (loud thud) 7 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,566 (gasps) 8 00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:30,133 (rattling) 9 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,310 (crackling) 10 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,272 I told you, Pugsley. It's push, not pull. 11 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,621 Hello, everyone! 12 00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:42,536 I can't believe 13 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,799 parents let their children go out like this. 14 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,715 They're all so clean, 15 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,152 shiny. 16 00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:50,979 GOMEZ: Oh, it's not all bad, my dear. 17 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,764 At least they pit the children against each other 18 00:01:52,807 --> 00:01:54,200 in a competition 19 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,637 that will inevitably scar the losers forever. 20 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:59,988 Behold! The gift of Prometheus! 21 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:04,819 (both cheering) 22 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,343 Ugh. 23 00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:08,345 Step aside, kid. 24 00:02:08,388 --> 00:02:09,824 I'll show you how it's done. 25 00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:12,175 (grunts) 26 00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:14,264 -(chuckles) -(girl) What? 27 00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:16,179 -(continues grunting) -(girls gasp) 28 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,356 WEDNESDAY: Ladies and gentlemen. 29 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:23,055 Come on, come on. Wednesday is next. 30 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:25,710 Have you ever found yourself discontented 31 00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:27,451 by those closest to you? 32 00:02:27,494 --> 00:02:30,062 Are you irked by their inability 33 00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:33,108 to heed simple requests? 34 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:37,069 Such as, "Please don't come to my science fair." 35 00:02:37,112 --> 00:02:39,158 (chuckling) She's talking about us. 36 00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:42,161 WEDNESDAY: Do you ever wish you could take 37 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,989 their undesirable qualities 38 00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,861 and eliminate them forever? 39 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,037 It can be done. 40 00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,779 Meet my Uncle Fester. 41 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,041 Hello! 42 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,956 -(screams) -(man gags) 43 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,523 -(body thuds) -That's my brother. 44 00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,133 Observe. 45 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,658 Hmm. 46 00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:01,789 (sniffs) 47 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,617 -(rattles) -Mm. 48 00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:05,576 (grunts) 49 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,404 (chomping) 50 00:03:07,447 --> 00:03:08,492 (burps) 51 00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:09,928 -(all groan) -(woman) Come on! 52 00:03:09,971 --> 00:03:11,973 Stomach-turning, isn't it? 53 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,627 In stark contrast, however, 54 00:03:14,715 --> 00:03:16,456 is Socrates. 55 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:19,720 (all) Aw. 56 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,722 Psst! Are you gonna eat that? 57 00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:24,638 This led me to ponder the question, 58 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:28,120 what if personality traits could be extracted 59 00:03:28,163 --> 00:03:30,470 and implanted between creatures? 60 00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:33,952 (liquid sloshes) 61 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,438 Bottoms up. 62 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,876 Mmm. (smacks lips) 63 00:03:44,919 --> 00:03:45,920 Ooh. 64 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,056 (bell dings) 65 00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:54,668 (crowd applauding) 66 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,325 (chuckles) Yay! All right! Thank you, thank you. 67 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,413 What happened? 68 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,197 (crunching) 69 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:04,591 (laughs) Is there a single person 70 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,289 in the history of the world 71 00:04:06,332 --> 00:04:08,291 who's made more of a breakthrough? 72 00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:10,815 She's an enfant terrible. 73 00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:13,774 With the focus on terrible. 74 00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:18,953 Cara mia,you know what French does to me. 75 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:23,567 (announcer) And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 76 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,917 Here to present the awards at this year's 77 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,223 Strange Foundation National Science Fair, 78 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,834 is the brilliant innovator 79 00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:34,491 and the namesake of our foundation, Cyrus Strange. 80 00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:36,319 (laughing) 81 00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:38,582 Hello, everyone. 82 00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:39,931 Oh! 83 00:04:39,974 --> 00:04:42,150 (glitches slightly) I'm so honored to be here. 84 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:45,153 But, well, I'm not actually there, I'm... 85 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,894 -here!(laughing) -(people gasp) 86 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,201 Well, you get it. 87 00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:51,203 Welcome to this year's science fair. 88 00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:52,552 I'm excited to honor this group 89 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,598 of brilliant minds we have before us. 90 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,382 (glitching) Let's proceed. 91 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,602 (announcer) And the winner is... 92 00:04:58,645 --> 00:04:59,994 -Good luck. -(chuckles) 93 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,737 Oh. You were serious. 94 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,654 (announcer) Everyone who participated. 95 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,917 -What? -(announcer) That's right. 96 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:13,007 This year, we are embracing a new philosophy. 97 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,532 Just trying makes you a winner. 98 00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:18,883 But how can you be a winner if no one is a loser? 99 00:05:18,926 --> 00:05:21,755 (announcer) Every single one of you is special. 100 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:22,974 Disagree. 101 00:05:23,017 --> 00:05:24,018 He's not special. 102 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,369 Did you see his volcano? 103 00:05:26,412 --> 00:05:28,414 What was that? Baking soda? 104 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,981 Is this the third grade? 105 00:05:30,024 --> 00:05:32,070 It does not count! 106 00:05:32,113 --> 00:05:33,680 Don't you get it? 107 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:36,640 -Ugh. -I get it, Wednesday. 108 00:05:36,683 --> 00:05:37,989 I watched your presentation. 109 00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:40,034 It was brilliant. 110 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,036 Yes, I'm aware of that. 111 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,821 I see a kindred spirit in you. 112 00:05:43,864 --> 00:05:46,650 Mm-hmm. The makings of a great mind. 113 00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:49,130 If you'd like to share your research with me, 114 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,394 I could develop it further in my lab. 115 00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,221 Imagine what would happen 116 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,573 if we combined your data with the proper resources? 117 00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:59,358 Alas, I can't share any of that. 118 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,838 It's a family secret. 119 00:06:00,881 --> 00:06:02,622 I see. 120 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,103 And which family is yours? 121 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:06,147 Fire in the hole! 122 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,148 ♫ "Welcome to the Madhouse" playing ♫ 123 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,062 ♫ Welcome to the madhouse ♫ 124 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,194 Oh. 125 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:10,587 (screaming) 126 00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:12,458 Pretty hot, eh, ladies? 127 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,026 Nice job, Romeo. 128 00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:16,636 ♫ Welcome to the madhouse ♫ 129 00:06:18,725 --> 00:06:21,902 ♫ Where they all come back For more ♫ 130 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,426 ♫ Welcome to the madhouse ♫ 131 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,821 Morticia, my queen, 132 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,693 you inflame me. 133 00:06:29,736 --> 00:06:33,044 I feel liquid magma lapping at my body. 134 00:06:33,087 --> 00:06:34,828 You're on fire, dear. 135 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,613 Ha! So I am! 136 00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:39,746 (dance-pop music resumes) 137 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,444 My condolences. 138 00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:44,664 (Fester laughing) 139 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,275 ♫ Welcome to the madhouse ♫ 140 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,715 (theme music playing) 141 00:06:55,283 --> 00:06:56,502 (thunder crashing) 142 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,000 Improved Captions by Sailor420 142 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,500 !!! Hope you enjoy the film !!! 142 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:19,482 Great thinkers need obstacles to function. 143 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:21,875 Yet, with every meaningless trophy, 144 00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,662 I become more and more unremarkable. 145 00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:30,362 And with every hug, more brain cells erode. 146 00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:33,626 But, like the phoenix from the ashes, 147 00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,324 I shall rise above this setback. 148 00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:41,068 Together, we shall turn heads, Socrates. 149 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,811 Starting with Pugsley. 150 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:45,943 -(Pugsley squeaks) -(bones crack) 151 00:07:45,986 --> 00:07:46,813 (groans) 152 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,206 (grunts) 153 00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:50,774 -Love hurts, huh, kid? -Huh? 154 00:07:50,817 --> 00:07:53,167 Well, I saw you swing and miss horribly 155 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,561 with the ladies at the science fair. 156 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:59,043 So, I thought you should read my book! 157 00:07:59,086 --> 00:08:03,961 The Fester Method: How to Woo and Other Tips on Love. 158 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,266 (laughs) 159 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,529 You wrote this? 160 00:08:06,572 --> 00:08:08,356 Self-published, on the Internet. 161 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,271 Not easy to do. 162 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,274 Pugsley, I've been on three first dates. 163 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:16,713 I mean, who else has that kind of experience? 164 00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:23,720 I know this, uh, goes against guy code, 165 00:08:23,763 --> 00:08:25,591 but what are you doing Friday night? 166 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,593 -(fanfare blaring) -(gasps) 167 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,337 Hey, you kids, come on down here. 168 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,556 It's dinner time. 169 00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,427 FESTER: Mmm. 170 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:36,646 -(yelps) -Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! 171 00:08:36,689 --> 00:08:37,908 (Pugsley coughs) 172 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,258 It's dinner time, my favorite nighttime meal! 173 00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:41,476 (yelps) My balls! 174 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,478 Ow, ow. My stomach! (grunting) 175 00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,132 -(Grandma screams) -uh-oh, my head! 176 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,612 (screaming) 177 00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:50,181 (laughs) Mmm. 178 00:08:51,225 --> 00:08:52,183 Oh! 179 00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:55,273 -(groans) -(Fester groans) 180 00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,188 Please, Uncle Fester, wait for the children. 181 00:08:57,231 --> 00:08:58,668 Children? 182 00:08:58,711 --> 00:09:00,800 I thought we were having chicken. 183 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,497 Where are those two? 184 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,891 Pugsley may have an appetite for destruction, 185 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,067 but it's never a match for his stomach. 186 00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,547 I wouldn't wait on Pugsley. 187 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,028 Kid's got a lot of homework to do. 188 00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:12,595 (sighs) This generation. 189 00:09:12,638 --> 00:09:14,597 Let's at least wait for Wednesday. 190 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,381 (glass shatters) 191 00:09:16,424 --> 00:09:18,557 Why does nobody in this family 192 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,211 come in through the front door? 193 00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:22,300 "Dearest Mother and Father, 194 00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:25,259 I will not be attending this evening's ritual mastication." 195 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:26,565 I guess she's not hungry. 196 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,567 "It's not that I'm not hungry, 197 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,569 I am just choosing to spare myself 198 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,703 the agony of your compliments on my performance today 199 00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:36,793 and your needy attempt to hang my award above the fireplace." 200 00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,664 I should go try to talk to her. 201 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,405 MORTICIA: "Don't try to talk to me. 202 00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:41,711 I want to be alone." 203 00:09:41,754 --> 00:09:44,278 We should bring her a plate at least. 204 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,454 "P.S. Don't even bring me a plate." 205 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:49,022 (groans) This is the third dinner 206 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,589 Wednesday has skipped this week. 207 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,156 Why is she avoiding us? 208 00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:55,159 All I ever do is try to love and support her. 209 00:09:55,202 --> 00:09:58,510 Gomez, I think she's saying that's the problem. 210 00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:01,556 You're brilliant, cara mia. 211 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,515 -What? -She's trying to tell me 212 00:10:03,558 --> 00:10:05,735 that what a young girl wants 213 00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,650 is a ton of attention from her father. 214 00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,740 Or you could just keep being yourself. 215 00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:13,438 Let her come back to us when she's ready. 216 00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:15,396 But that could take forever! 217 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,444 (gasps) I have the very solution to the problem, cara mia. 218 00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,011 We'll take a family road trip. 219 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,577 What? 220 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,145 You've always wanted to see more of this great country. 221 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,843 Well, it's true. 222 00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:30,673 We have some of the best dark secrets, as countries go. 223 00:10:30,716 --> 00:10:32,065 Then it's settled! 224 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:35,286 We are going on an Addams family vacation! 225 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,332 (rooster crowing) 226 00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,987 GOMEZ: Come on, kids. 227 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:44,991 Feast your eyes on the old Addams camper. 228 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,863 Thing's been fixing it up. 229 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,696 (gulps, slurps) 230 00:10:53,739 --> 00:10:54,914 It's a hybrid. 231 00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,525 Half car, half eyesore. 232 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,267 WEDNESDAY: Mother, Father, this is cruel. 233 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,182 Even for you. 234 00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,793 (Lurch groans) 235 00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:06,273 -That's the spirit, Lurch. -(groans) 236 00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,234 -(horn screams) -Ha-ha! 237 00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:11,714 Let's go, Wednesday. 238 00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:14,020 It's time for some family bonding. 239 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,719 Whether you like it or not. 240 00:11:17,763 --> 00:11:19,243 You see, Wednesday, 241 00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:20,897 this trip will bring the Addams family 242 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:23,595 closer than ever before. (chuckles) 243 00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:25,771 (Pugsley straining) 244 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,426 Or there will be no survivors. 245 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,471 (man) Hello? 246 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,169 Anybody home? 247 00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:33,257 Hello? 248 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,388 Mr. Addams? 249 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,348 Hello, good sir! 250 00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:38,392 I am Gomez Addams. 251 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,092 And this is my wife, Morticia. 252 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,571 Charmed. 253 00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,138 I'll get right to the point. 254 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,792 My name is Mustela. 255 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:50,274 I'm a lawyer representing a couple in Sausalito, California. 256 00:11:50,317 --> 00:11:52,058 Recent evidence has come to light 257 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,713 that on the night of my client's daughter's birth, 258 00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,280 she may have been switched 259 00:11:56,323 --> 00:11:58,499 with another child at the hospital. 260 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:03,069 Namely, a Wednesday Addams. 261 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,592 -(Morticia snickers) -(laughing hysterically) 262 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,162 Ooh, hilarious! 263 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:13,166 All this, just to get out of a family road trip. 264 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,125 How much did Wednesday pay you? 265 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,691 Excuse me? 266 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,172 Oh! Sorry, sorry, where are my manners? 267 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,871 I think he's expecting a tip. 268 00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:24,830 No, I'm expecting a DNA sample. 269 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,658 If you'll bring the child here, we can-- 270 00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:29,400 I never seem to have a tip. 271 00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:30,793 -(Mr. Mustela gasps) -I do. 272 00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:33,621 Great Uncle Zander left me these tips in his will. 273 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,754 I knew one day they'd come in handy. 274 00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,887 There you go, my good man. 275 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:40,454 Well played. Very amusing indeed. 276 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,413 I assure you, Mr. Addams, 277 00:12:42,456 --> 00:12:45,590 there's nothing amusing about this. 278 00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:48,985 And this is far from over! 279 00:12:49,028 --> 00:12:51,204 I can't believe he gave me the finger. 280 00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:55,469 Mother, Father, who was that man? 281 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,341 Very funny, Wednesday. 282 00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:59,082 (laughs) Nice try. 283 00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:01,388 I have no idea what you're talking about. 284 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:02,999 Who was he? 285 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,394 No one for you to worry about. 286 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,743 No one at all, dear. 287 00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:10,658 Hmm. 288 00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:13,531 MORTICIA: Thank you for watching the house 289 00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:14,924 while we're gone, Grandma. 290 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,448 It's such a relief to know it's in safe hands. 291 00:13:17,491 --> 00:13:19,058 Oh, please. 292 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:22,496 Trust me, these hands have cracked many safes. 293 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,717 Thing, let the vacation commence! 294 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,371 (engine starts) 295 00:13:27,414 --> 00:13:28,633 Let's roll! 296 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,725 (up-tempo music playing) 297 00:13:33,768 --> 00:13:35,292 (tires screeching) 298 00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:41,515 Bye! Farewell! 299 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,301 Adios!Toodle-oo! 300 00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,303 Whoo-hoo-hoo! I thought they'd never leave. 301 00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:49,262 (spirit) Let's party! 302 00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:51,351 (Grandma laughs) 303 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,092 You read my mind, chuckles. 304 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:54,877 Time to make some money. 305 00:14:02,536 --> 00:14:03,624 I thought that first, 306 00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,279 we shall pay our respects to the immolated 307 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,412 in the witch-haunted city of Salem. 308 00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:12,459 Then, in the great nomadic tradition of our ancestors, 309 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:16,376 we'll flit hither and thither across this great nation 310 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,725 until we reach 311 00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,858 -our final destination. -(muffled screaming) 312 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:23,862 The place on Earth where people are happiest! 313 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,995 Death Valley! 314 00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:28,345 We'll be gone for three weeks. 315 00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:30,173 Three weeks? 316 00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:32,349 You're both growing up so fast. 317 00:14:32,392 --> 00:14:33,959 Soon, you'll move out, 318 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,569 and it'll be nice to have a memory 319 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:36,919 we could look back upon. 320 00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:39,617 No matter how terrible. 321 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,314 Ooh, like prom night. 322 00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:43,055 (up-tempo music continues) 323 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:48,582 ♫ This family 'Bout to go global ♫ 324 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,541 (horn blares) 325 00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:52,978 I can't believe the boss made me bring backup. 326 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,849 No offense, I just really don't see 327 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,416 what you bring to the table. 328 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,374 (growls) 329 00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,028 All I know is, 330 00:14:59,071 --> 00:15:01,552 if we don't get that girl and bring her back to Sausalito, 331 00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:03,032 we'll both be fired. 332 00:15:03,075 --> 00:15:04,250 (growls) 333 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,818 Oh, ugh. Mint? 334 00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:08,428 You know what? Take 'em all. 335 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:13,781 (up-tempo music continues) 336 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,009 ♫ This family 'Bout to go global ♫ 337 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,972 (eerie vocalizing) 338 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,367 (continues vocalizing) 339 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,978 Ooh, ooh, ooh. And then it goes... 340 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,893 (vocalizing in deep voice) 341 00:15:41,809 --> 00:15:43,986 Anyway, it's not finished yet, 342 00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:46,379 but it's my best rock opera yet. 343 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,816 I'm calling it Rocktapus. 344 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,383 I wrote it in the bath. 345 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,212 I've been taking a lot of baths recently. 346 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,561 You know, I think it's... 347 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,041 (bell dings) 348 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,042 (Fester gasps) 349 00:15:58,565 --> 00:16:02,004 All that beautiful water! (echoes) 350 00:16:03,309 --> 00:16:05,007 Forget Salem! We know how it turned out. 351 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,399 Change of plans. 352 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,444 (tires screeching) 353 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,245 Thing, how did this happen? 354 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,855 We were supposed to be in Salem. 355 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,859 Ah, don't be mad, brother. 356 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:34,471 Niagara Falls is the great Wonder of the World 357 00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:36,995 and kills the most tourists 358 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,911 with its powerful, seductive 359 00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,696 water. (echoes) 360 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,568 (water bubbling) 361 00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:46,874 (Gomez muffled) Fester? Fester? 362 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,746 -(muffling stops) Hey, Fester. -(shaking wetly) 363 00:16:48,789 --> 00:16:50,008 Are you feeling all right? 364 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,619 You're not your usual creepy self. 365 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,881 Not especially. 366 00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,361 Will you take a look at this? 367 00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,363 -Does this seem off to you? -(sniffing) 368 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:58,756 It smells okay, 369 00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,540 but make sure to put it in the fridge. 370 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,107 Seafood turns very quickly. 371 00:17:04,544 --> 00:17:06,068 Having fun? 372 00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:10,246 I'm staring at Canada, if that answers your question. 373 00:17:10,289 --> 00:17:11,986 I'm sorry, Wednesday. 374 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,597 I know how much you wanted to see 375 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,078 where girls your age were burned at the stake. 376 00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:17,253 What did you call them again? 377 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,169 Squad goals. 378 00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:22,301 What do you say we do a little exploring? 379 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,389 Just us. 380 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,478 I saw a vintage store in town. 381 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:28,742 Maybe it's time for you to try out a more mature look. 382 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,920 The little black dress is a classic, Mother. 383 00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,618 There's my little holy terror. 384 00:17:34,661 --> 00:17:36,010 (groans) 385 00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:38,404 You know how I feel about hugs, Father. 386 00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,145 (gasps, chuckles) 387 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:45,281 Did you know dozens of people tried to go over these falls 388 00:17:45,324 --> 00:17:46,760 in wooden barrels? 389 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,327 Does anyone survive? 390 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,895 Some do. Some don't. 391 00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:54,725 I hear it's a barrel of fun. 392 00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:56,727 -(laughs) -(Wednesday groans) 393 00:17:56,770 --> 00:18:00,165 Pugsley, have you ever worn a coat of live bees? 394 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,646 (girl laughs) OMG. 395 00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,735 I should totes take a selfie of this moment. 396 00:18:04,778 --> 00:18:06,128 (camera clicking) 397 00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:09,000 Ah! This is the perfect opportunity 398 00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:10,915 to try out the moves in my book. 399 00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:12,221 The key with women 400 00:18:12,264 --> 00:18:14,788 is to make a strong first impression. 401 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,355 You mean like a bad smell? 402 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,965 Well, that goes without saying. 403 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:21,752 What I mean is, it's important to make a big splash. 404 00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:23,319 Are you with me, kid? 405 00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:27,453 -(grunts) -(girls gasp) 406 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:28,672 -Huh? -PUGSLEY: Ouch! 407 00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,630 I just skinned my knee 408 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,502 falling for you. 409 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,591 (both laughing) 410 00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:36,636 That's so corny. 411 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,422 Ugh. Did you get that from a book? 412 00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,684 -Uh-oh. Uh... -(girls laughing) 413 00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:42,990 Leave this to me. 414 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:45,558 Excuse me, vacuous lemmings. 415 00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,780 (gasps) Oh, come on. 416 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,177 -♫ "Jump Around" playing ♫ -(Pugsley whimpering) 417 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,922 ♫ Pack it up, pack it in Let me begin ♫ 418 00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,490 ♫ I came to win Battle me, that's a sin ♫ 419 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,405 ♫ I won't ever slack up Punk, you better back up ♫ 420 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:07,972 ♫ Try and play the role And, yo ♫ 421 00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:09,408 -♫ The whole crew'll act up ♫ -(mimics explosion) 422 00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,888 ♫ I came to get down I came to get down ♫ 423 00:19:10,931 --> 00:19:12,063 ♫ So get out your seat And jump around ♫ 424 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,326 -♫ Jump around! ♫ -(grunting) 425 00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,024 Stop! No! (groaning) 426 00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,200 ♫ Jump around! ♫ 427 00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:19,549 (all laughing) 428 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,029 ♫ Jump up, jump up And get down! ♫ 429 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,031 ♫ Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♫ 430 00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,947 ♫ Everybody jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♫ 431 00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:28,079 ♫ Everybody jump! ♫ 432 00:19:28,122 --> 00:19:30,255 (screaming) 433 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:37,958 Madison, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? 434 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,395 -(Pugsley screaming) -(Madison gasps) 435 00:19:39,438 --> 00:19:41,832 (shrieks) Help! 436 00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,268 Is that a maybe? 437 00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:44,835 (screaming) 438 00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:46,793 (grunts, screaming) 439 00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,145 (whimpering) 440 00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:53,409 -(screaming) -(crowd gasps) 441 00:19:55,149 --> 00:19:57,239 (grunts, screaming) 442 00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:00,546 (all exclaim) 443 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,940 Right in the Niagara balls! 444 00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,376 (muffled groaning) 445 00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:07,466 (yelps) 446 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,338 GOMEZ: Nobody is renting barrels. 447 00:20:09,381 --> 00:20:12,210 I had to buy 300 pickles just to get these. 448 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,690 MR. MUSTELA: You go that way. I'll look over here. 449 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:14,604 Gomez, look. 450 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,563 Isn't that the weaselly man 451 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,652 who came to the house looking for Wednesday? 452 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:22,829 Well, I have to admit, I admire the man's tenacity. 453 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,091 Wednesday, let's try 454 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,659 a little family trust-building exercise. 455 00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,922 -I don't believe in exercise. -GOMEZ: Sorry! 456 00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:30,750 (Wednesday grunting) 457 00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:32,274 (yelps) 458 00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:34,972 (growls) 459 00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:41,152 Excelsior!Whoo-hoo-hoo! 460 00:20:42,762 --> 00:20:44,286 -(groans) -Hey, hey, wait for me! 461 00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:46,288 I wanna go in the water too! 462 00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:47,941 (both grunting) 463 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,073 (both yelling) 464 00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:53,991 (bird squawks) 465 00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:56,385 MR. MUSTELA: Help! Pongo! 466 00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:58,387 Guess that takes care of that. 467 00:20:59,213 --> 00:21:00,824 Hey, where's Pugsley? 468 00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:02,216 (water bubbles) 469 00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,697 Well, look at this, a tiny floating person. 470 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,177 -(doll squeaks) -(muffled groan) 471 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:07,657 Oh! There he is. 472 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,876 (gasps, coughing) 473 00:21:11,356 --> 00:21:13,837 How great was that, Wednesday? 474 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,708 And we both survived. 475 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,971 Another thing we have in common. 476 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:20,322 Okay, what's going on? 477 00:21:20,365 --> 00:21:21,627 MORTICIA: Whatever do you mean? 478 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:22,976 Father. 479 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,501 His erratic behavior. 480 00:21:25,544 --> 00:21:27,851 This last-minute family trip to make memories. 481 00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:29,331 Giving hugs. 482 00:21:29,374 --> 00:21:30,723 It's torture. 483 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,029 And not the fun kind, 484 00:21:32,072 --> 00:21:35,075 like putting leeches in Pugsley's briefs. 485 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,774 Anyway, I'm quite sure he's dying. 486 00:21:37,817 --> 00:21:39,384 -What? -Don't worry. 487 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:40,820 I won't tell Pugsley. 488 00:21:40,864 --> 00:21:41,995 Not yet. 489 00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:44,128 He'll enjoy the surprise. 490 00:21:44,171 --> 00:21:48,654 But if you're afraid to ask my permission to take a new lover, 491 00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:50,264 just know you have it. 492 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,266 -(Fester chittering) -(Pugsley sighs tiredly) 493 00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:55,226 ♫ "Mommy's Little Monster" playing ♫ 494 00:21:58,838 --> 00:22:01,537 ♫ Mommy's little monster Dropped out of school ♫ 495 00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:04,627 (Pugsley groans) Ouch! Mom, tell her to stop! 496 00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:06,629 MORTICIA: Please, darlings, quiet down. 497 00:22:06,672 --> 00:22:08,413 I'm trying to find a signal. 498 00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:11,634 -(Pugsley yelps) -(growls) 499 00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,027 PUGSLEY: Ow! 500 00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:15,551 -Mom, help! -(sighs) 501 00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:17,640 Gomez, have you heard from your mother yet? 502 00:22:17,683 --> 00:22:19,642 She's not answering my texts. 503 00:22:19,685 --> 00:22:21,818 Oh, she's probably having an early night. 504 00:22:21,861 --> 00:22:25,822 The woman is almost 102 years old, after all. 505 00:22:25,865 --> 00:22:27,824 -♫ Let's rock this party ♫ -Whoo! (laughs) 506 00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:29,391 -(dance music playing) -♫ Come on now ♫ 507 00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:31,958 ♫ Let's rock this party, yeah ♫ 508 00:22:32,698 --> 00:22:33,917 Whoo-hoo! 509 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,440 -(laughing) -We're here for the party! 510 00:22:36,049 --> 00:22:37,573 Whoop-la! 511 00:22:37,616 --> 00:22:38,661 Tickets, please! 512 00:22:38,704 --> 00:22:42,142 Wow, this place is a whole mood. 513 00:22:42,186 --> 00:22:45,581 Well, if you're in the mood to party, 514 00:22:45,624 --> 00:22:47,452 step right this way. 515 00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:50,020 Whoa! This plant totes slaps! 516 00:22:50,063 --> 00:22:53,066 No, darling, she snaps. 517 00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:55,025 -(both shriek) -Oh, don't worry, don't worry. 518 00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:57,027 She's on a vegan diet. 519 00:22:57,070 --> 00:23:00,900 In that she only eats vegans. (laughing) 520 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,336 And who's the headliner? 521 00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:04,991 Uh... Uh... The Talking Heads. 522 00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:05,992 For reals? 523 00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:07,254 Uh, yeah, yeah. 524 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,691 Uh, they're right over there. 525 00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,083 ♫ You 'bout that lifestyle ♫ 526 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:11,476 ♫ Lifestyle ♫ 527 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,173 -♫ Everybody knows ♫ -(head beatboxing) 528 00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:16,481 ♫ Diamonds ain't got nothin' On you, ooh, ooh ♫ 529 00:23:16,525 --> 00:23:17,917 ♫ We 'bout that lifestyle ♫ 530 00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:20,050 Um... I didn't pay $500 to watch a bunch of puppets. 531 00:23:20,093 --> 00:23:21,486 What? 532 00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:23,314 Do you know how hard it is to decapitate 533 00:23:23,357 --> 00:23:24,968 an entire barber shop quartet? 534 00:23:25,011 --> 00:23:26,970 (all gasp) 535 00:23:27,013 --> 00:23:29,233 Ew! Refund, please. 536 00:23:29,276 --> 00:23:30,452 No, no, no. (chuckles) 537 00:23:30,495 --> 00:23:31,931 Let's not be hasty. 538 00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:34,412 (sputters) I was just joking. 539 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,022 I don't want to ruin the surprise. 540 00:23:36,066 --> 00:23:38,024 And... And trust me, 541 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:41,332 the headliner will make serious headlines. (chuckles) 542 00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:42,855 (heads) ♫ You 'bout that lifestyle ♫ 543 00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:44,553 -(groans) -♫ Lifestyle, lifestyle ♫ 544 00:23:44,596 --> 00:23:45,554 ♫ Lifestyle ♫ 545 00:23:46,511 --> 00:23:48,687 (owl hooting) 546 00:23:51,516 --> 00:23:53,387 GOMEZ: It was the dead of night. 547 00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:58,871 -The witching hour. -(disembodied cackling) 548 00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:00,482 The wolf howled. 549 00:24:00,525 --> 00:24:01,744 (howling) 550 00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:06,923 And then she heard a scratching at the door. 551 00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:08,577 Scratch, 552 00:24:08,620 --> 00:24:10,100 scratch, 553 00:24:10,143 --> 00:24:12,232 scratch. 554 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:15,584 She slowly opened it to reveal 555 00:24:16,149 --> 00:24:17,977 a puppy! 556 00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:20,284 -(gasps) -And around its neck 557 00:24:20,327 --> 00:24:21,546 was a bow! 558 00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:22,808 (screams) 559 00:24:22,852 --> 00:24:25,898 -Mm. Gomez. -(laughing) 560 00:24:25,942 --> 00:24:28,553 You remember when I first told you that one, Pugsley? 561 00:24:28,597 --> 00:24:30,773 You must've been two months old. 562 00:24:30,816 --> 00:24:34,385 Oh, you'd scream and scream until you wet yourself. 563 00:24:34,428 --> 00:24:36,561 Some things never change. 564 00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:40,391 She's not back yet. 565 00:24:40,434 --> 00:24:42,001 She said she wanted to be alone, 566 00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:44,134 but how long does that take? 567 00:24:44,177 --> 00:24:45,831 -(Kitty growls) -There she is. 568 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,920 How did it go out there, Wednesday? 569 00:24:47,964 --> 00:24:49,531 GOMEZ: Did Kitty do his business? 570 00:24:49,574 --> 00:24:50,532 Indeed. 571 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,013 -(Pugsley groans) Ew! -Come, come. Join us. 572 00:24:54,057 --> 00:24:56,625 We were just telling stories of when Pugsley was born. 573 00:24:56,668 --> 00:24:58,931 He kept us up all night, howling. (chuckles) 574 00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,759 Wednesday, you were the opposite. 575 00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:02,065 I've never heard of a baby 576 00:25:02,108 --> 00:25:04,371 being completely silent before. 577 00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:05,764 -(Pugsley groans) -Ah, yes, 578 00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:08,158 I remember the night Wednesday was born. 579 00:25:08,201 --> 00:25:09,768 It was a Tuesday. 580 00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:12,728 All tucked in tight in the hospital nursery. 581 00:25:12,771 --> 00:25:15,426 She was silent as a jellyfish. 582 00:25:15,469 --> 00:25:18,429 Even when all the other little babies started bawling. 583 00:25:18,472 --> 00:25:20,387 (chuckles) What do you mean? 584 00:25:20,431 --> 00:25:22,825 Oh, I never told you this story? 585 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,742 Start talking. 586 00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,395 FESTER: Well, I was looking for a bathroom 587 00:25:28,439 --> 00:25:31,007 because I'd eaten all of the patients' pudding 588 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,922 that they left behind, 589 00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,794 when I took a wrong turn into the hospital nursery. 590 00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:39,929 -(music playing on speakers) -♫ I'd tip my hat to you ♫ 591 00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:41,887 -♫ I'd do just that ♫ -(babies wailing) 592 00:25:41,931 --> 00:25:42,758 (music stops) 593 00:25:44,673 --> 00:25:46,588 FESTER: And that's when I spotted her. 594 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:53,638 I just wanted to get a better look at my new niece. 595 00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:55,640 But a bunch of the babies started 596 00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:57,250 wailing their heads off. 597 00:25:57,294 --> 00:26:01,080 So, I remembered the age-old Addams family nursery trick. 598 00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:04,040 (Fester grunting) 599 00:26:05,737 --> 00:26:07,521 (babies continue wailing) 600 00:26:08,653 --> 00:26:09,611 (grunts) 601 00:26:13,136 --> 00:26:15,399 And sure enough, they all fell asleep. 602 00:26:15,442 --> 00:26:17,662 (coos) 603 00:26:17,706 --> 00:26:20,230 And I put all the babies back where I found them. 604 00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:22,536 I think. 605 00:26:24,713 --> 00:26:26,236 -Pretty sure. -(grunts) 606 00:26:27,498 --> 00:26:28,630 (chuckles) 607 00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,459 -Kitty needs a walk. -Right away. 608 00:26:32,503 --> 00:26:33,547 WEDNESDAY: But I just walked-- 609 00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:36,159 MORTICIA: Fester, you're in charge. 610 00:26:36,202 --> 00:26:38,814 FESTER: I wonder if I could juggle actual children. 611 00:26:38,857 --> 00:26:41,120 Wednesday, Pugsley, bring it in, let's find out. 612 00:26:41,164 --> 00:26:43,079 You never know until you try. 613 00:26:43,122 --> 00:26:44,297 -(Pugsley laughing) -And if one of you 614 00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:46,386 falls on your head, well, lesson learned. 615 00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:49,868 Hard to believe women don't want to talk to either of you. 616 00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,612 MORTICIA: Gomez, what if what that lawyer said is true? 617 00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:57,093 These people are not going to give up. 618 00:26:57,136 --> 00:27:00,096 They'll keep coming until they take her away. 619 00:27:00,139 --> 00:27:01,358 Let him come! 620 00:27:01,401 --> 00:27:04,013 They shall know us by our trail of dead. 621 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:06,929 MORTICIA: Ugh. That's your answer to everything. 622 00:27:06,972 --> 00:27:08,800 (sighs) I only wish 623 00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:10,933 I did have the answer for it, querida. 624 00:27:13,805 --> 00:27:14,893 (gasps) 625 00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:17,243 Tish! That's it. 626 00:27:17,287 --> 00:27:20,333 I may not have the answer, but I know someone who will. 627 00:27:20,377 --> 00:27:22,031 MORTICIA: I hope so. 628 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:24,729 Whatever we do, we can't let Wednesday find out 629 00:27:24,773 --> 00:27:26,688 she might not be our daughter. 630 00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,825 Could it be true? 631 00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:37,873 Could I have been misplaced in my infancy? 632 00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:41,093 Grown up with a delusion that I am one person, 633 00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:46,751 when in fact, I am someone completely different. 634 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:51,843 Now this is the origin story an innovator like me deserves. 635 00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:54,977 It would make a fascinating first chapter in my memoir. 636 00:27:55,978 --> 00:27:57,066 Can you imagine? 637 00:27:57,544 --> 00:27:59,546 (gurgling) 638 00:28:02,027 --> 00:28:03,463 GOMEZ: Come on, kids! 639 00:28:03,507 --> 00:28:05,335 Up and Addams! 640 00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:08,991 Thing, head south. 641 00:28:09,034 --> 00:28:12,995 What we need is a little old-fashioned Addams fun! 642 00:28:13,038 --> 00:28:14,431 Ha-ha! 643 00:28:14,474 --> 00:28:15,998 (thunder crashes) 644 00:28:23,179 --> 00:28:24,963 (man 1) I got it. Oh! There we go. 645 00:28:25,007 --> 00:28:25,964 (man 2) Oh, dude! 646 00:28:27,879 --> 00:28:29,011 Hey, freak! 647 00:28:30,403 --> 00:28:31,883 -Pass it back! -(chuckles) 648 00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:34,016 I'm not a freak. 649 00:28:35,974 --> 00:28:37,454 I'm a force of nature. 650 00:28:39,673 --> 00:28:41,458 Some force of nature. 651 00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:42,981 -So weak. -(device hums) 652 00:28:44,591 --> 00:28:45,767 (gasps) 653 00:28:46,376 --> 00:28:48,160 Guys, you see this? 654 00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:50,032 -What's going on? what Is it? -(Latin hip-hop music playing) 655 00:28:50,075 --> 00:28:51,468 (groans) 656 00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:57,648 (both groaning) 657 00:28:57,691 --> 00:28:59,911 ♫ I only hang with the family 'Cause nobody can handle me ♫ 658 00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:01,391 ♫ Try to act like I'm scary Because I'm somethin' They never seen ♫ 659 00:29:01,434 --> 00:29:03,132 (Kitty grunts) 660 00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,873 ♫ My whole room like a vanity I'm in love with myself ♫ 661 00:29:04,916 --> 00:29:06,744 ♫ But they can't touch me When I'm feelin' myself ♫ 662 00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:09,007 (singing in Spanish) 663 00:29:19,452 --> 00:29:20,889 Oh, my. 664 00:29:20,932 --> 00:29:23,892 It looks like some unfortunate soul 665 00:29:23,935 --> 00:29:27,634 has dropped a small fortune in the sand. 666 00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:29,158 That's mine! (grunts) 667 00:29:32,814 --> 00:29:33,858 (groaning) 668 00:29:35,381 --> 00:29:37,688 ♫ I've been around Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 669 00:29:37,731 --> 00:29:39,124 ♫ With other girls Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 670 00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:42,214 -Lame! -(all laughing) 671 00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:45,957 (sighs) It looks like we need to go over Chapter 3, 672 00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:48,699 "How to be Repulsive and Impress Girls." 673 00:29:48,742 --> 00:29:49,918 I'll be right back. 674 00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:52,268 I gotta go use the bathroom. 675 00:29:52,311 --> 00:29:54,270 ♫ Wherever we are Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 676 00:29:54,313 --> 00:29:56,881 ♫ Feels like home Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 677 00:29:56,925 --> 00:29:59,710 ♫ Love that crazy baby ♫ 678 00:29:59,753 --> 00:30:01,016 -(Lurch groans) -♫ Shake it ♫ 679 00:30:05,934 --> 00:30:07,892 (singing in Spanish) 680 00:30:10,939 --> 00:30:13,071 ♫ Wherever we are Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 681 00:30:13,115 --> 00:30:14,899 ♫ Feels like home Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 682 00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:16,988 (woman snickers) 683 00:30:17,902 --> 00:30:19,338 (gasps, screams) 684 00:30:19,382 --> 00:30:20,209 Shark! Shark! 685 00:30:24,909 --> 00:30:26,868 (all screaming) 686 00:30:29,871 --> 00:30:31,481 (kids crying) 687 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,963 (woman) Run for your lives! 688 00:30:40,098 --> 00:30:42,057 Hyah! See? 689 00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:44,842 Now that's how you attract attention. 690 00:30:44,886 --> 00:30:46,626 (airhorn toots) 691 00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:48,715 (hip-hop music playing) 692 00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:51,544 Ah! There he is. 693 00:30:51,588 --> 00:30:54,156 The man we came to see. 694 00:31:00,553 --> 00:31:02,294 (engine accelerating) 695 00:31:03,817 --> 00:31:06,255 (hip-hop music continues) 696 00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:09,040 ♫ What do ladies say? Ladies, what do ladies say? ♫ 697 00:31:09,084 --> 00:31:10,737 ♫ Ladies, what do ladies say? ♫ 698 00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:12,870 ♫ "Yeah, Dogg We got your back" ♫ 699 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:14,306 ♫ What my homies say, homies? ♫ 700 00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:15,525 ♫ Where the gangstas at? ♫ 701 00:31:15,568 --> 00:31:17,222 ♫ Gangsta bored, gangsta say ♫ 702 00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:19,529 ♫ "Yeah, Dogg We got your back" ♫ 703 00:31:19,572 --> 00:31:22,662 ♫ We own it like we want it We beat it till we beat it ♫ 704 00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:24,882 ♫ And only you can give it to us 'Cause you know we need it ♫ 705 00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:26,318 GOMEZ: It! 706 00:31:26,362 --> 00:31:29,539 Good to see you, my bewhiskered cousin. 707 00:31:29,582 --> 00:31:32,063 -You made it. -(babbling) 708 00:31:32,107 --> 00:31:35,153 Mm. It's in Florida for spring break. 709 00:31:35,197 --> 00:31:38,026 Ghouls Gone Wild, am I right? (laughs) 710 00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:39,331 He's going to join us on our trip. 711 00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:40,811 Hold on. 712 00:31:40,854 --> 00:31:42,856 He's coming in the camper? 713 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:44,728 We're cramped enough as it is. 714 00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:46,730 And he sheds, Morticia. 715 00:31:46,773 --> 00:31:48,688 Oh, Fester, he's family. 716 00:31:48,732 --> 00:31:50,560 The more the hairier. 717 00:31:50,603 --> 00:31:53,302 FESTER: Well, if he's allowed on the couch, then so am I! 718 00:31:55,391 --> 00:31:57,567 -(folk music playing) -(snoring) 719 00:31:59,221 --> 00:32:01,136 -(thud) -(Pugsley groans) 720 00:32:01,179 --> 00:32:02,398 (mumbling) No, no, no! 721 00:32:02,441 --> 00:32:03,877 I said cut the red wire. 722 00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:06,010 (grunts) 723 00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:09,405 I can't believe Taylor Swift wants to date me. 724 00:32:09,448 --> 00:32:11,146 (chuckles) Me. 725 00:32:11,189 --> 00:32:12,930 Make sure to close the door 726 00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:16,629 when you go into outer space. (groans) 727 00:32:16,673 --> 00:32:21,808 Yes, Beyonce, I would love to share my ham with you. 728 00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,419 (on speakers) ♫ With a load of iron ore ♫ 729 00:32:23,462 --> 00:32:25,638 -♫ 26,000 tons more ♫ -(moaning softly) 730 00:32:25,682 --> 00:32:28,554 ♫ Than the Edmund Fitzgerald Weighed empty ♫ 731 00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:34,908 ♫ That good ship and true Was a bone to be chewed ♫ 732 00:32:34,952 --> 00:32:38,825 (distorting) ♫ When the gales Of November came early ♫ 733 00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:43,091 ♫ The ship was the pride ♫ 734 00:32:43,134 --> 00:32:44,918 -♫ Of the American side ♫ -(car horn blares) 735 00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,573 ♫ Coming back from some mill In Wisconsin ♫ 736 00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:49,271 (slurping) 737 00:32:49,314 --> 00:32:52,404 ♫ As the big freighters go It was bigger than most ♫ 738 00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:54,102 -(folk music stops) -♫ One, two, three, go ♫ 739 00:32:54,145 --> 00:32:56,365 ♫ "Deleter" playing on speakers ♫ 740 00:32:58,323 --> 00:32:59,498 ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 741 00:32:59,542 --> 00:33:02,458 ♫ No, no, no, no ♫ 742 00:33:02,501 --> 00:33:05,504 (vocalizing) 743 00:33:05,548 --> 00:33:08,855 ♫ All this time I thought you were a leader ♫ 744 00:33:08,899 --> 00:33:11,641 ♫ It turns out You're only a deleter ♫ 745 00:33:13,730 --> 00:33:15,558 (It babbling) 746 00:33:15,601 --> 00:33:16,602 (It yelps) 747 00:33:17,081 --> 00:33:19,040 (retching) 748 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:22,869 (gags) 749 00:33:23,827 --> 00:33:25,655 -(It babbling) -(retches) 750 00:33:25,698 --> 00:33:27,657 Morticia, I told you so. 751 00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:29,485 There's hairballs everywhere. 752 00:33:29,528 --> 00:33:31,574 (It babbling) 753 00:33:31,617 --> 00:33:34,490 FESTER: Yeah, and the same to you, fuzzface. 754 00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,672 (It babbling) 755 00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:44,500 How could you tell? 756 00:33:44,543 --> 00:33:46,719 (babbling) 757 00:33:51,376 --> 00:33:55,467 Did it ever bother you that you were so different 758 00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:57,382 from the rest of the family? 759 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:59,080 (babbling) 760 00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:01,691 A rebellious phase? 761 00:34:01,734 --> 00:34:03,519 (babbling) 762 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:08,959 You shaved your entire body as a teenager? 763 00:34:09,002 --> 00:34:10,091 (babbling) 764 00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:16,749 Oh. So that's what changed. 765 00:34:16,793 --> 00:34:18,708 You owned who you were. 766 00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:21,667 (babbling) 767 00:34:21,711 --> 00:34:23,800 That's the problem. 768 00:34:23,843 --> 00:34:25,584 I don't know who I am. 769 00:34:27,282 --> 00:34:28,326 (ringtone playing) ♫ Drop it like it's hot ♫ 770 00:34:28,370 --> 00:34:29,849 ♫ Drop it like it's hot ♫ 771 00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:32,635 -(babbling) -GRANDMA: Get over here ASAP. 772 00:34:32,678 --> 00:34:34,898 I went too far this time and things are getting hairy! 773 00:34:34,941 --> 00:34:36,160 No offense. 774 00:34:44,951 --> 00:34:46,518 -Let's do this! -(growls) 775 00:34:49,217 --> 00:34:50,174 -(horn blares) -(Mr. Mustela screams) 776 00:34:53,786 --> 00:34:55,788 It's that lawyer, Gomez. 777 00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:57,225 He's found us again. 778 00:34:57,268 --> 00:34:59,009 He wants what we have. 779 00:34:59,052 --> 00:35:01,359 Well, he won't get her. 780 00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:02,795 -(Pugsley chomping) -Good, Pugsley. 781 00:35:02,839 --> 00:35:04,580 Right this way. 782 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:08,366 How about a fun family travel game? 783 00:35:08,410 --> 00:35:09,715 Everyone around the table. 784 00:35:09,759 --> 00:35:10,977 WEDNESDAY: Ugh. 785 00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:12,936 -(engine revving) -(Mr. Mustela yelping) 786 00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:19,986 (whimpering) 787 00:35:22,902 --> 00:35:23,947 -(yelps) -(Pongo growls) 788 00:35:23,990 --> 00:35:26,036 (tires screeching) 789 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,212 (growls) 790 00:35:29,213 --> 00:35:30,867 (Mr. Mustela grunts) 791 00:35:30,910 --> 00:35:32,173 So, what shall we play? 792 00:35:34,392 --> 00:35:36,351 How about Punch Buggy? 793 00:35:36,394 --> 00:35:37,787 Punch... 794 00:35:38,831 --> 00:35:40,790 -(Mr. Mustela yelps) -...buggy. 795 00:35:40,833 --> 00:35:42,574 (both grunting) 796 00:35:42,618 --> 00:35:43,401 (Mr. Mustela yelps) 797 00:35:45,751 --> 00:35:47,144 -(screams) -(Pongo growls) 798 00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:48,711 (manure squelches) 799 00:35:48,754 --> 00:35:49,973 (cow moos) 800 00:35:53,933 --> 00:35:55,021 We need to step on it. 801 00:35:55,065 --> 00:35:56,588 And we'll need a place to hide. 802 00:35:56,632 --> 00:35:58,677 I have just the place, querida. 803 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,898 -Thing, turn here. -(tires screech) 804 00:36:02,768 --> 00:36:03,465 FESTER: Look out! 805 00:36:06,685 --> 00:36:08,034 (both yell) 806 00:36:08,078 --> 00:36:10,080 (horns blaring) 807 00:36:25,791 --> 00:36:27,793 You sure this is the right place, Pop? 808 00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:29,273 Yes, son. 809 00:36:29,317 --> 00:36:32,494 The Alamo. 810 00:36:32,537 --> 00:36:36,324 You can sense that many lives were lost here. 811 00:36:36,367 --> 00:36:39,283 Let us take a moment to pay our respects. 812 00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,332 -(engine roaring) -(horn beeps) 813 00:36:46,769 --> 00:36:48,553 (gasps) Okay. Enough respect. 814 00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:49,728 Everyone in! 815 00:36:57,823 --> 00:36:59,695 -(doorbell tinkles) -(gasps) 816 00:36:59,738 --> 00:37:02,350 Look at y'all's costumes! 817 00:37:02,393 --> 00:37:03,829 (Lurch groaning) 818 00:37:03,873 --> 00:37:06,963 You guys are a little early for the Halloween pageant. 819 00:37:07,006 --> 00:37:11,141 Today, we're on the hunt for our next Little Miss Jalapeno Pepper. 820 00:37:11,184 --> 00:37:12,751 (country music playing on speakers) 821 00:37:12,795 --> 00:37:13,970 (muffled knocking) 822 00:37:14,013 --> 00:37:15,276 MR. MUSTELA: Hello? Wednesday! 823 00:37:15,319 --> 00:37:16,929 -(Gomez gasps) -Wednesday Addams! 824 00:37:16,973 --> 00:37:19,715 Are you in there? Hello? 825 00:37:19,758 --> 00:37:22,413 (in Southern accent) Well, burn my biscuits. 826 00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,981 This here's our little tumbleweed. 827 00:37:25,024 --> 00:37:27,679 And she's a-fixin' to be the Lone Star 828 00:37:27,723 --> 00:37:30,160 -of this here rodeo! -What? 829 00:37:30,203 --> 00:37:31,814 Well, in that case, 830 00:37:31,857 --> 00:37:34,773 we better get you all gussied up, hon. 831 00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:37,950 Father, this will not end well for you. 832 00:37:39,778 --> 00:37:41,476 -MR. MUSTELA: Wednesday! -(knocking continues) 833 00:37:41,519 --> 00:37:44,087 -(Kitty growls) -(Mr. Mustela exclaims) 834 00:37:44,130 --> 00:37:45,828 Gomez, what are you doing? 835 00:37:45,871 --> 00:37:48,483 (in normal voice) Just follow my lead. 836 00:37:48,526 --> 00:37:51,181 (in Southern accent) Howdy. We're oil tycoons. 837 00:37:51,224 --> 00:37:54,053 Oil tycoons? How can I... Eesh! 838 00:37:54,097 --> 00:37:56,012 We're a-fixin' to find ourselves 839 00:37:56,055 --> 00:37:59,363 some fancy new Texas threads. 840 00:37:59,407 --> 00:38:01,060 Will this be enough to cover it? 841 00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:02,932 (bell dings) 842 00:38:02,975 --> 00:38:04,760 -(gasps) Mm. -(indistinct chatter) 843 00:38:04,803 --> 00:38:06,544 -(spray hissing) -(girl 1 giggles) 844 00:38:06,588 --> 00:38:08,154 (girl 1) Yeah! Check it out! 845 00:38:08,198 --> 00:38:10,069 (woman) Now just hold still, sweetie. 846 00:38:10,113 --> 00:38:11,332 (girl 2) Make it tighter. 847 00:38:12,811 --> 00:38:13,943 (girl 3) Hi. 848 00:38:13,986 --> 00:38:15,379 What's your talent? 849 00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:17,555 I can read minds. 850 00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:18,817 (scoffs) No, you can't. 851 00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:22,212 Yes, I can. 852 00:38:22,255 --> 00:38:23,996 (girl 3 gasps) This isn't really happening. 853 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,955 It is really happening. 854 00:38:25,998 --> 00:38:27,522 (girl 3) Think of a number. Uh, number seven. 855 00:38:27,565 --> 00:38:29,132 -Seven. -(gasps) 856 00:38:29,175 --> 00:38:30,612 -Uh, purple. -Purple. 857 00:38:30,655 --> 00:38:31,743 My worst nightmare. 858 00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,571 Hippopotamus riding a bicycle. 859 00:38:33,615 --> 00:38:34,964 What's your name? 860 00:38:35,007 --> 00:38:37,009 -Wednesday, what's yours? -I don't wanna tell you. 861 00:38:38,271 --> 00:38:39,447 (in deep voice) Hello, Peggy. 862 00:38:39,925 --> 00:38:42,058 (screaming) 863 00:38:42,101 --> 00:38:43,276 (in normal voice) I know. 864 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,843 Just give me the trophy already. 865 00:38:48,978 --> 00:38:50,240 (audience murmuring) 866 00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:55,854 (Fester imitates horse neighing, giggles) 867 00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:04,123 I look like Uncle Sam threw up all over me. 868 00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:06,822 Very good, Pugsley. Blend in. 869 00:39:06,865 --> 00:39:09,085 If you have to interact with any of the locals, 870 00:39:09,128 --> 00:39:12,915 remember, they're more afraid of you than you are of them. 871 00:39:12,958 --> 00:39:14,395 (gasps) 872 00:39:15,526 --> 00:39:16,614 (It babbles) 873 00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:18,573 -(boy shudders) -Oh, my word! 874 00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:26,929 These are the perfect disguises. 875 00:39:26,972 --> 00:39:28,626 It's like we're invisible. (chuckles) 876 00:39:30,062 --> 00:39:31,368 (audience applauding) 877 00:39:31,412 --> 00:39:33,762 (cheerful piano music playing) 878 00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:38,462 (Wednesday grunts) 879 00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,552 (breathing heavily) 880 00:39:43,989 --> 00:39:45,513 We're dead, Gomez. 881 00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:48,951 ♫ Are my ribbons tied? ♫ 882 00:39:48,994 --> 00:39:51,736 -(Wednesday gasps) -♫ Is my hair in place? ♫ 883 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:55,305 ♫ Have I got a cute expression On my face? ♫ 884 00:39:55,348 --> 00:39:57,307 ♫ Are my shoes all shined? ♫ 885 00:39:57,350 --> 00:39:58,961 ♫ I try to keep in line ♫ 886 00:39:59,004 --> 00:40:02,878 ♫ When I'm dancing In the show tonight ♫ 887 00:40:02,921 --> 00:40:06,751 ♫ Does my shuffle-step Really look so good? ♫ 888 00:40:06,795 --> 00:40:08,187 (Pongo growls) 889 00:40:08,231 --> 00:40:10,363 ♫ Am I doing it the way You think I should? ♫ 890 00:40:10,407 --> 00:40:14,106 ♫ Would it be amiss If I blew a kiss? ♫ 891 00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:17,806 ♫ When I'm dancing In the show tonight ♫ 892 00:40:21,244 --> 00:40:25,901 Ah. The only girls I see here are perfectly normal. 893 00:40:25,944 --> 00:40:29,774 ♫ Showtime now Is getting nearer ♫ 894 00:40:29,818 --> 00:40:32,081 ♫ And I'm getting scared ♫ 895 00:40:32,124 --> 00:40:33,648 (Wednesday yelps, grunts) 896 00:40:33,691 --> 00:40:37,434 ♫ Wish I could see In the mirror ♫ 897 00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:40,698 -Ugh! -♫ If I'm all prepared ♫ 898 00:40:40,742 --> 00:40:42,874 ♫ First you take a step ♫ 899 00:40:42,918 --> 00:40:45,007 -♫ Then you point your toe ♫ -(Wednesday grunting) 900 00:40:45,050 --> 00:40:48,489 ♫ Hope I know it Like I did a week ago ♫ 901 00:40:48,532 --> 00:40:50,752 ♫ Am I standing straight? ♫ 902 00:40:50,795 --> 00:40:52,188 ♫ I can hardly wait ♫ 903 00:40:52,231 --> 00:40:54,538 ♫ Till I'm dancing In the show tonight ♫ 904 00:40:57,323 --> 00:40:59,500 (girls screaming) 905 00:41:02,459 --> 00:41:04,505 (girls continue screaming) 906 00:41:07,290 --> 00:41:09,814 -Brava! Bravissima! -(Fester cheering) 907 00:41:09,858 --> 00:41:11,424 Hear, hear! Bella! 908 00:41:12,991 --> 00:41:14,297 There she is! 909 00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:15,994 (gasps) 910 00:41:16,038 --> 00:41:17,779 (in Southern accent) Hey, y'all! 911 00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:21,434 That man right there is one of the top talent agents in the world! 912 00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:23,741 (shouting excitedly in Spanish) 913 00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:25,395 (Mr. Mustela yells and grunts) 914 00:41:25,438 --> 00:41:27,005 -(girl) What? -(all screaming) 915 00:41:29,094 --> 00:41:30,966 (bell jingling) 916 00:41:31,009 --> 00:41:37,668 (drawn out) You rang? 917 00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:40,366 Quick, Lurch. 918 00:41:40,410 --> 00:41:42,020 -Grab Wednesday. -(grunts) 919 00:41:45,763 --> 00:41:47,591 (people yelping) 920 00:41:53,902 --> 00:41:55,904 (imitates horse neighing, giggles) 921 00:42:02,824 --> 00:42:03,955 MR. MUSTELA: Help! 922 00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:05,043 Pongo! 923 00:42:08,569 --> 00:42:10,396 -(Fester grunting) -(Pugsley yelps) 924 00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:12,442 FESTER: Hello. Hi. 925 00:42:12,485 --> 00:42:13,791 (tires screeching) 926 00:42:15,488 --> 00:42:17,795 (grunts) I'll find you, Wednesday Addams! 927 00:42:23,975 --> 00:42:27,631 You have traumatized me beyond all recognition. 928 00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:29,241 She looks the same to me. 929 00:42:29,285 --> 00:42:31,113 Who is that man? 930 00:42:31,156 --> 00:42:33,071 I know he's not a talent agent. 931 00:42:33,115 --> 00:42:35,596 He's the same man who came to the house. 932 00:42:37,336 --> 00:42:39,338 You're right. (sighs) 933 00:42:39,382 --> 00:42:41,950 You're far too clever for us to pull the wool over your eyes. 934 00:42:43,081 --> 00:42:44,648 That man 935 00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:47,477 -is a door-to-door salesman. -Gomez. 936 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,392 And what is he selling? 937 00:42:49,435 --> 00:42:51,394 Uh... Tupperware? 938 00:42:51,437 --> 00:42:53,222 Knives? Makeup. 939 00:42:53,265 --> 00:42:55,050 Uh... Uh, frozen steaks. 940 00:42:55,093 --> 00:42:57,400 Life insurance for cows. 941 00:42:57,443 --> 00:42:58,619 Uh, they need it. 942 00:42:58,662 --> 00:43:01,404 The steak industry is, oh, brutal. 943 00:43:02,971 --> 00:43:04,450 Okay. 944 00:43:04,494 --> 00:43:06,670 If that's the way you want to play it. 945 00:43:06,714 --> 00:43:09,020 I'm going to go give Pugsley a haircut. 946 00:43:09,064 --> 00:43:10,326 I think he's taking a nap. 947 00:43:11,283 --> 00:43:12,633 WEDNESDAY: Exactly. 948 00:43:13,851 --> 00:43:14,765 That was easy. 949 00:43:19,727 --> 00:43:21,642 ♫ "Lonesome Loser" playing on speaker ♫ 950 00:43:21,685 --> 00:43:25,123 ♫ You can't run and hide ♫ 951 00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:29,606 ♫ Have you heard About the lonesome loser? ♫ 952 00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:33,741 ♫ Beaten by the queen of hearts Every time ♫ 953 00:43:33,784 --> 00:43:36,657 (Lurch groans) 954 00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,572 I'm not sure Wednesday believed us. 955 00:43:39,616 --> 00:43:42,227 I'm sure she would have said something if she didn't. 956 00:43:42,271 --> 00:43:45,187 If there's one thing we can count on Wednesday for, it's honesty. 957 00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:48,146 She certainly lets me know when I'm embarrassing her 958 00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:49,408 or hovering 959 00:43:49,452 --> 00:43:51,628 -or being uncool. -(metal clicks) 960 00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,762 (It babbling) 961 00:43:54,805 --> 00:43:57,329 Children are like socks in the laundry? 962 00:43:57,373 --> 00:44:00,506 They need to be lost in order to be found? 963 00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:01,899 That's brilliant! 964 00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:03,205 Yes. 965 00:44:03,248 --> 00:44:05,773 We should find a place, lie low for a while, 966 00:44:05,816 --> 00:44:08,950 and this whole thing will just blow over. 967 00:44:08,993 --> 00:44:10,908 Lurch, old boy, top it off. 968 00:44:10,952 --> 00:44:12,867 We have places to be. 969 00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:14,303 (song continues on speaker) 970 00:44:14,346 --> 00:44:16,566 (Lurch groaning) 971 00:44:16,609 --> 00:44:18,742 (truck driver screaming) 972 00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:20,788 (gasping) 973 00:44:40,633 --> 00:44:41,896 (blasting) 974 00:44:43,071 --> 00:44:45,116 (yawns and grunts) 975 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,118 Where's Kitty? He needs a walk. 976 00:44:47,162 --> 00:44:48,467 He's asleep. 977 00:44:48,511 --> 00:44:51,775 He and It hit the catnip pretty hard last night. 978 00:44:51,819 --> 00:44:53,298 (hip-hop music playing on speaker) 979 00:44:53,342 --> 00:44:54,909 ♫ What chu need? I got a hookup on the plug ♫ 980 00:44:56,301 --> 00:44:57,520 FESTER: Ooh! 981 00:44:59,217 --> 00:45:00,305 Uh-oh. 982 00:45:01,437 --> 00:45:03,134 Yeah, I finally got off diapers, 983 00:45:03,178 --> 00:45:04,788 so this is gonna happen. 984 00:45:04,832 --> 00:45:06,398 Gotta go clean myself up. 985 00:45:07,399 --> 00:45:08,574 -(people gasping) -Pardon me. 986 00:45:08,618 --> 00:45:11,534 Gomez, have you noticed changes 987 00:45:11,577 --> 00:45:13,797 in Fester's body lately? 988 00:45:13,841 --> 00:45:15,799 Hmm. Puberty? 989 00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:18,106 (panting) 990 00:45:19,803 --> 00:45:20,848 (groans) 991 00:45:20,891 --> 00:45:22,763 (grunting) 992 00:45:23,241 --> 00:45:24,416 (straining) 993 00:45:27,985 --> 00:45:29,117 Huh? (grunts) 994 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,205 Oh! 995 00:45:30,248 --> 00:45:31,772 (groans) Huh? 996 00:45:33,251 --> 00:45:34,557 Ow! 997 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:35,776 Oh! 998 00:45:36,428 --> 00:45:39,040 Huh? (screams) 999 00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:41,390 -(Fester grunting) -(tentacles slapping) 1000 00:45:41,433 --> 00:45:44,436 FESTER: A little privacy, please. (groans) 1001 00:45:49,267 --> 00:45:50,486 (Pugsley blows raspberry) 1002 00:45:50,529 --> 00:45:51,835 PUGSLEY: This doesn't look so grand to me. 1003 00:45:51,879 --> 00:45:53,228 (Wednesday sighs) 1004 00:45:53,271 --> 00:45:55,839 The sheer emptiness. 1005 00:45:55,883 --> 00:46:00,235 Cavernous abyss of absolutely nothing. 1006 00:46:00,278 --> 00:46:01,758 The vertigo. 1007 00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:03,760 Intoxicating. 1008 00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,327 GOMEZ: It's just us, 1009 00:46:05,370 --> 00:46:09,418 the captivating beauty of the great American outdoors 1010 00:46:09,461 --> 00:46:12,856 and the wonderful sound of silence. 1011 00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,988 (jet whooshing) 1012 00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:23,911 Pugsley, what do I keep saying? 1013 00:46:23,954 --> 00:46:26,522 Amazon Prime is not a toy. 1014 00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,003 (tires screeching) 1015 00:46:31,266 --> 00:46:33,050 (muffled hip-hop music playing) 1016 00:46:36,706 --> 00:46:39,709 (babbling) 1017 00:46:39,752 --> 00:46:42,146 GOMEZ: Oh, it's for you. Huh. 1018 00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:44,540 Well, do you really have to leave us so soon, cousin? 1019 00:46:44,583 --> 00:46:45,933 Where are you headed? 1020 00:46:45,976 --> 00:46:48,239 (babbling) 1021 00:46:48,283 --> 00:46:51,590 I see. Top-secret gig. 1022 00:46:51,634 --> 00:46:55,072 Tell that Billie Eilish she's a little too sunny for my taste. 1023 00:46:55,116 --> 00:46:56,944 But I'm still a fan. 1024 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,511 (It babbling) 1025 00:47:00,730 --> 00:47:02,036 (continues babbling) 1026 00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:06,518 Why didn't I get dating advice from him? 1027 00:47:06,562 --> 00:47:07,693 (It babbling) 1028 00:47:20,228 --> 00:47:21,794 I have something for you. 1029 00:47:25,755 --> 00:47:27,757 WEDNESDAY: A tiny coffin. 1030 00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,847 I fear I shall have trouble getting Pugsley in here. 1031 00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:32,414 (chuckles softly) No. 1032 00:47:32,457 --> 00:47:35,069 Open it. 1033 00:47:35,112 --> 00:47:37,898 Your grandmother gave me this necklace on my wedding day. 1034 00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:39,725 It has been handed down 1035 00:47:39,769 --> 00:47:42,076 through generations of Addams women. 1036 00:47:42,119 --> 00:47:44,730 It is a part of every Addams. 1037 00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:46,384 Just as you are. 1038 00:47:46,428 --> 00:47:49,561 (thunder rumbles) 1039 00:47:49,605 --> 00:47:51,520 Are you sure this belongs to me? 1040 00:47:52,434 --> 00:47:54,001 Of course, Wednesday. 1041 00:47:54,044 --> 00:47:55,959 Who else would it belong to? 1042 00:47:57,569 --> 00:47:59,049 Never mind. 1043 00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:00,964 Thanks for the trinket, Mother. 1044 00:48:02,444 --> 00:48:03,836 Fire in the hole! 1045 00:48:05,621 --> 00:48:06,622 (people screaming) 1046 00:48:10,191 --> 00:48:11,975 Madison, would you do me the honor-- 1047 00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:34,606 Now, that's grand. 1048 00:48:34,650 --> 00:48:36,608 What was it you were saying about laying low, darling? 1049 00:48:37,174 --> 00:48:38,523 Hey! 1050 00:48:38,567 --> 00:48:41,483 No more personal electronic devices on this trip. 1051 00:48:41,526 --> 00:48:43,702 Saddle up, Addams! 1052 00:48:43,746 --> 00:48:45,313 (distant screaming) 1053 00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:48,229 (gasps) 1054 00:48:49,273 --> 00:48:51,972 (bats squeaking) 1055 00:49:06,551 --> 00:49:07,813 (sighs) 1056 00:49:07,857 --> 00:49:08,858 (twig snaps) 1057 00:49:09,728 --> 00:49:11,339 (yelps, screaming) 1058 00:49:12,862 --> 00:49:13,950 (groans) 1059 00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,647 (whimpering) 1060 00:49:18,650 --> 00:49:21,044 You scurried fast, little weasel. 1061 00:49:21,088 --> 00:49:23,003 Please! Let me up! 1062 00:49:23,046 --> 00:49:25,396 Where's your comically large companion? 1063 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,487 That big ape ran out on me at the Alamo. 1064 00:49:29,531 --> 00:49:32,099 Please! I'll tell you everything. 1065 00:49:32,142 --> 00:49:33,926 -(whimpers) -I'm listening. 1066 00:49:33,970 --> 00:49:36,016 (ringtone playing) ♫ Who can it be now? ♫ 1067 00:49:36,059 --> 00:49:37,669 MR. MUSTELA: Oh! 1068 00:49:37,713 --> 00:49:40,281 ♫ Who can it be now? ♫ 1069 00:49:40,324 --> 00:49:42,370 Mustela, have you found the girl or... 1070 00:49:42,413 --> 00:49:43,762 Ah. 1071 00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:45,112 You got the drop on him. 1072 00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:47,636 Mr. Strange. 1073 00:49:47,679 --> 00:49:50,421 Please, call me Cyrus. 1074 00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:52,858 Mr. Strange will suffice. 1075 00:49:52,902 --> 00:49:54,556 What is this all about? 1076 00:49:54,599 --> 00:49:57,124 It's about you, Wednesday. 1077 00:49:57,167 --> 00:49:59,952 My wife and I were separated from our true daughter 1078 00:49:59,996 --> 00:50:02,085 on the night of her birth. 1079 00:50:02,129 --> 00:50:04,740 I never gave up trying to find her. 1080 00:50:04,783 --> 00:50:07,134 I searched and searched for years, 1081 00:50:07,177 --> 00:50:10,093 and then, suddenly, there I was, 1082 00:50:10,137 --> 00:50:12,356 standing on that stage. 1083 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,054 Looking right at you. 1084 00:50:14,967 --> 00:50:16,360 In that moment, 1085 00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:20,582 I knew that you were my long lost child. 1086 00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:22,105 The physical similarities. 1087 00:50:22,149 --> 00:50:25,065 The brilliant scientific mind. 1088 00:50:25,108 --> 00:50:27,284 I did some digging. 1089 00:50:27,328 --> 00:50:29,373 You were born at the same hospital, 1090 00:50:29,417 --> 00:50:32,028 the same day as the girl we've raised. 1091 00:50:32,072 --> 00:50:34,683 And as if meant to be, 1092 00:50:34,726 --> 00:50:36,946 your name, Wednesday, 1093 00:50:36,989 --> 00:50:39,340 is from my favorite poem. 1094 00:50:39,383 --> 00:50:40,950 "Wednesday's child is..." 1095 00:50:40,993 --> 00:50:43,170 "Full of woe." 1096 00:50:43,213 --> 00:50:45,346 I was named after that poem. 1097 00:50:45,389 --> 00:50:47,913 I live by it. 1098 00:50:47,957 --> 00:50:49,611 I think we owe it to ourselves 1099 00:50:49,654 --> 00:50:51,830 to get to the bottom of this, Wednesday. 1100 00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:54,485 Why don't you come to my home in Sausalito? We can... 1101 00:50:54,529 --> 00:50:56,661 Not so fast. 1102 00:50:56,705 --> 00:50:59,882 I have further research to conduct to verify your claim. 1103 00:50:59,925 --> 00:51:01,405 Of course. 1104 00:51:01,449 --> 00:51:03,581 I would expect nothing less. 1105 00:51:03,625 --> 00:51:06,018 By the way, what did you do with Mr. Mustela? 1106 00:51:06,628 --> 00:51:07,803 WEDNESDAY: Oh. 1107 00:51:07,846 --> 00:51:09,152 -I let him go. -(cell phone beeps) 1108 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,076 (growling softly) 1109 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,512 (wind whistling) 1110 00:51:27,431 --> 00:51:29,694 (Gomez snoring softly) 1111 00:51:38,355 --> 00:51:40,009 (Gomez chuckling, grunts) 1112 00:51:40,052 --> 00:51:41,141 (groans) 1113 00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:45,797 (grunts) 1114 00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:50,628 (moaning) 1115 00:51:50,672 --> 00:51:51,847 (grunts, coughs) 1116 00:51:51,890 --> 00:51:53,762 (moans and snores) 1117 00:51:53,805 --> 00:51:55,546 (both grunting) 1118 00:51:56,678 --> 00:52:00,203 Tish. You minx. 1119 00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:01,552 (Gomez chuckles) 1120 00:52:05,687 --> 00:52:07,167 Let's settle this. 1121 00:52:45,117 --> 00:52:47,424 It's all true. 1122 00:52:49,209 --> 00:52:53,691 The facts before me prove beyond a reasonable doubt 1123 00:52:53,735 --> 00:52:56,346 that I am not an Addams. 1124 00:52:56,390 --> 00:52:59,697 That means there's only one logical choice. 1125 00:52:59,741 --> 00:53:01,308 Don't you agree? 1126 00:53:01,351 --> 00:53:02,657 (Lurch groans) 1127 00:53:08,576 --> 00:53:09,620 MORTICIA: Wednesday, dear. 1128 00:53:11,796 --> 00:53:13,624 Come along, sleepyhead. 1129 00:53:17,541 --> 00:53:19,413 Why, it's easier to wake the dead 1130 00:53:19,456 --> 00:53:20,979 than to wake you, my little... 1131 00:53:21,023 --> 00:53:22,067 (muffled grunting) 1132 00:53:22,111 --> 00:53:23,286 (muffled) Hi, Mom. 1133 00:53:25,157 --> 00:53:26,333 PUGSLEY: "Dear Addams family, 1134 00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:27,725 As you may have noticed, 1135 00:53:27,769 --> 00:53:31,076 our family dynamic has been off-base lately. 1136 00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:32,948 I have been ruminating on 1137 00:53:32,991 --> 00:53:34,993 and questioning the reason for this, 1138 00:53:35,037 --> 00:53:38,910 but a new revelation has resolved this doubt for me. 1139 00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:40,085 I was the discordant note..." 1140 00:53:40,129 --> 00:53:41,217 WEDNESDAY: "I was the discordant note 1141 00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:44,438 that can never resolve into harmony. 1142 00:53:44,481 --> 00:53:47,179 And the reason I could never truly relate to any of you 1143 00:53:47,832 --> 00:53:49,921 is simple. 1144 00:53:49,965 --> 00:53:52,489 I am not your relative. 1145 00:53:54,404 --> 00:53:57,755 I have no recourse but to leave for good 1146 00:53:57,799 --> 00:54:01,803 and make my way toward the truth. 1147 00:54:01,846 --> 00:54:03,848 Do not attempt to follow me." 1148 00:54:08,331 --> 00:54:09,376 Wait. 1149 00:54:09,419 --> 00:54:11,378 Wednesday's not an Addams? 1150 00:54:11,421 --> 00:54:13,945 I'm the only real Addams child? 1151 00:54:13,989 --> 00:54:15,382 That's awesome! 1152 00:54:15,425 --> 00:54:18,602 Too soon, Pugsley. Too soon. 1153 00:54:18,646 --> 00:54:20,125 -(cleaver thuds) -What does she mean, 1154 00:54:20,169 --> 00:54:21,518 "making her way toward the truth"? 1155 00:54:21,562 --> 00:54:23,564 Is this about the hospital thing 1156 00:54:23,607 --> 00:54:25,392 that was totally not a big deal? 1157 00:54:25,435 --> 00:54:27,611 -This is all my fault. -(Pugsley gasps) 1158 00:54:27,655 --> 00:54:30,310 (sighs) If she had just felt closer to me, 1159 00:54:30,353 --> 00:54:32,137 maybe this wouldn't have happened. 1160 00:54:32,181 --> 00:54:34,183 Thing! I need a Bloody Mary. 1161 00:54:34,226 --> 00:54:35,402 Make it a double. 1162 00:54:35,445 --> 00:54:36,838 FESTER: He's in the shower. 1163 00:54:36,881 --> 00:54:39,797 ♫ La-di-di, la-di-da ♫ 1164 00:54:39,841 --> 00:54:42,234 Don't forget to clean behind your knuckles. 1165 00:54:51,331 --> 00:54:53,333 (birds chirping) 1166 00:55:02,124 --> 00:55:04,953 WEDNESDAY: Lurch, I can see you. 1167 00:55:04,996 --> 00:55:06,781 (Lurch grunts softly) 1168 00:55:06,824 --> 00:55:09,174 Obviously, I have failed in my duty 1169 00:55:09,218 --> 00:55:11,089 as your lurking advisor. 1170 00:55:11,133 --> 00:55:13,875 (Lurch groans) 1171 00:55:13,918 --> 00:55:17,226 I really don't know how to answer that. 1172 00:55:17,269 --> 00:55:21,622 But what I do know is that you should go back to your family. 1173 00:55:21,665 --> 00:55:24,625 It's time for me to find mine. 1174 00:55:24,668 --> 00:55:26,366 (groans lowly) 1175 00:55:27,018 --> 00:55:29,020 I guess that's true. 1176 00:55:29,064 --> 00:55:31,893 You're not an Addams either. 1177 00:55:31,936 --> 00:55:34,243 (sighs) How very sad that is. 1178 00:55:34,286 --> 00:55:35,984 (Lurch moans) 1179 00:55:36,027 --> 00:55:37,855 Much better, Lurch. 1180 00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:40,205 It appears I taught you well, after all. 1181 00:55:42,947 --> 00:55:45,297 Like the Donner party before us, 1182 00:55:45,341 --> 00:55:49,345 we travel to California to fulfil our destiny 1183 00:55:49,389 --> 00:55:52,827 and eat what we must along the way. 1184 00:55:52,870 --> 00:55:57,005 Let us conquer the Golden West or die trying. 1185 00:55:57,048 --> 00:55:58,789 Lurch, 1186 00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:00,574 -to Sausalito! -(crows cawing) 1187 00:56:00,617 --> 00:56:02,880 Thing, to Sausalito! 1188 00:56:02,924 --> 00:56:04,882 If we leave now, we can catch up. 1189 00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:07,711 Then we'll return home, kidnap the necessary witnesses 1190 00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:09,626 and snuff out any remaining doubt 1191 00:56:09,670 --> 00:56:11,411 that Wednesday is one of us. 1192 00:56:11,454 --> 00:56:13,064 I love it when 1193 00:56:13,108 --> 00:56:16,720 your murderous maternal instincts kick in! 1194 00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:19,070 We're back in the parenting business! 1195 00:56:19,114 --> 00:56:20,768 Come along, Addams. 1196 00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,813 Let's bring Wednesday back to her family. 1197 00:56:26,904 --> 00:56:32,083 Ahem. Fester, your tentacles are hanging out. 1198 00:56:32,127 --> 00:56:34,042 I thought I felt a draft. 1199 00:56:34,085 --> 00:56:35,478 Just don't kick 'em. 1200 00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:36,914 They're very sensitive. 1201 00:57:01,983 --> 00:57:02,679 (spider hisses) 1202 00:57:09,599 --> 00:57:12,515 WEDNESDAY: All of those do sound like great options, 1203 00:57:12,559 --> 00:57:15,344 but which one is the road to Sausalito? 1204 00:57:15,387 --> 00:57:17,651 ♫ "Ace of Spades" playing ♫ 1205 00:57:19,043 --> 00:57:20,915 (engines roaring) 1206 00:57:30,228 --> 00:57:31,665 ♫ If you like to gamble ♫ 1207 00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,797 ♫ I tell you I'm your man ♫ 1208 00:57:33,841 --> 00:57:36,365 ♫ You win some, lose some It's all the same to me ♫ 1209 00:57:36,408 --> 00:57:38,323 -(tires screeching) -Out of my way, Hightower! 1210 00:57:40,456 --> 00:57:41,936 ♫ Seven or eleven ♫ 1211 00:57:41,979 --> 00:57:43,633 ♫ Snake eyes watching you ♫ 1212 00:57:45,374 --> 00:57:46,854 Look, Lurch. 1213 00:57:46,897 --> 00:57:50,858 Aggressive people who use loud noises and fast rides 1214 00:57:50,901 --> 00:57:53,991 to distract themselves from their childhood trauma. 1215 00:57:54,035 --> 00:57:55,515 Just what we need. 1216 00:57:55,558 --> 00:57:57,691 ♫ Take one look and die ♫ 1217 00:57:57,734 --> 00:57:59,344 (bikers laughing) 1218 00:58:01,042 --> 00:58:02,783 ♫ The only thing you see ♫ 1219 00:58:02,826 --> 00:58:06,003 ♫ You know it's gonna be The Ace of Spades ♫ 1220 00:58:06,047 --> 00:58:07,396 -(man chuckles) -♫ The Ace of Spades ♫ 1221 00:58:10,007 --> 00:58:11,226 (man grunts) 1222 00:58:11,966 --> 00:58:13,533 (door creaking) 1223 00:58:15,447 --> 00:58:17,319 -(both grunt) -(man) Hmm. 1224 00:58:17,928 --> 00:58:18,668 Huh? 1225 00:58:19,190 --> 00:58:20,191 (door shuts) 1226 00:58:25,936 --> 00:58:27,155 (growls) 1227 00:58:28,025 --> 00:58:29,679 RONNY: Hey! 1228 00:58:29,723 --> 00:58:33,378 Ain't you the guy that almost ran my bike off the road? 1229 00:58:34,466 --> 00:58:36,947 And you must be Miss Lurleen? 1230 00:58:36,991 --> 00:58:38,949 (all gasp) 1231 00:58:38,993 --> 00:58:40,777 (growls) 1232 00:58:40,821 --> 00:58:42,257 Excuse me? 1233 00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:47,610 Ah. It seems I have offended two people at once. 1234 00:58:47,654 --> 00:58:48,742 How fortuitous. 1235 00:58:49,830 --> 00:58:51,353 -(bikers) Huh? -(Miss Lurleen sighs) 1236 00:58:51,396 --> 00:58:53,398 That was an insult too! 1237 00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:55,923 -(bikers gasp) -(growls) 1238 00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:59,622 I'm afraid you gentlemen have made a grave error. 1239 00:58:59,666 --> 00:59:02,103 Lurch, show these cretins 1240 00:59:02,146 --> 00:59:05,628 what your cold, dead hands are capable of. 1241 00:59:05,672 --> 00:59:07,674 LURCH: Mm-hmm. 1242 00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:12,809 (piano playing) 1243 00:59:19,337 --> 00:59:20,817 (singing in high-pitched voice) ♫ First i was afraid ♫ 1244 00:59:20,861 --> 00:59:22,689 ♫ I was petrified ♫ 1245 00:59:22,732 --> 00:59:26,475 ♫ Kept thinking I could never Live without you by my side ♫ 1246 00:59:26,518 --> 00:59:28,303 I should've been more specific. 1247 00:59:28,346 --> 00:59:29,521 LURCH: ♫ But then I spent so many nights ♫ 1248 00:59:29,565 --> 00:59:30,914 ♫ Thinking How you did me wrong ♫ 1249 00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:32,786 ♫ And I grew strong ♫ 1250 00:59:32,829 --> 00:59:35,832 ♫ And I learned How to get along ♫ 1251 00:59:37,181 --> 00:59:39,662 (groans) 1252 00:59:39,706 --> 00:59:41,577 -♫ And so you're back ♫ -(gasps) 1253 00:59:41,621 --> 00:59:43,884 -(disco music playing) -♫ From outer space ♫ 1254 00:59:43,927 --> 00:59:46,060 ♫ I just walked in To find you here ♫ 1255 00:59:46,103 --> 00:59:48,149 ♫ With that sad look Upon your face ♫ 1256 00:59:48,192 --> 00:59:49,933 ♫ I should've changed That stupid lock ♫ 1257 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:52,675 ♫ I should've made you Leave your key ♫ 1258 00:59:52,719 --> 00:59:54,503 ♫ If I'd known For just one second ♫ 1259 00:59:54,546 --> 00:59:56,113 ♫ You'd be back to bother me ♫ 1260 00:59:56,157 --> 00:59:58,246 ♫ Go on now, go ♫ 1261 00:59:58,289 --> 01:00:00,248 ♫ Walk out the door ♫ 1262 01:00:00,291 --> 01:00:02,250 ♫ Just turn around now ♫ 1263 01:00:02,293 --> 01:00:03,686 ♫ 'Cause you're not Welcome anymore ♫ 1264 01:00:05,514 --> 01:00:08,735 ♫ Weren't you the one who tried To hurt me with goodbye? ♫ 1265 01:00:08,778 --> 01:00:10,867 ♫ Did you think I'd crumble? ♫ 1266 01:00:10,911 --> 01:00:12,608 ♫ Did you think I'd lay down and die? ♫ 1267 01:00:12,652 --> 01:00:14,523 ♫ Oh, no, not I ♫ 1268 01:00:14,566 --> 01:00:16,830 ♫ I will survive ♫ 1269 01:00:16,873 --> 01:00:19,528 ♫ Oh, as long as I know How to love ♫ 1270 01:00:19,571 --> 01:00:21,399 ♫ I know I'll stay alive ♫ 1271 01:00:21,443 --> 01:00:25,055 ♫ I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give ♫ 1272 01:00:25,099 --> 01:00:28,319 ♫ And I'll survive I will survive ♫ 1273 01:00:28,363 --> 01:00:31,322 All I wanted was a violent roadhouse melee 1274 01:00:31,366 --> 01:00:33,934 before hitching a ride to Sausalito. 1275 01:00:33,977 --> 01:00:35,675 Was that too much to ask? 1276 01:00:36,110 --> 01:00:37,502 Sausalito? 1277 01:00:37,546 --> 01:00:39,374 That's exactly where we're headed. 1278 01:00:39,417 --> 01:00:42,072 It's the annual Hug-A-Biker retreat 1279 01:00:42,116 --> 01:00:44,640 where we deal with our childhood trauma. 1280 01:00:44,684 --> 01:00:46,555 I am good. 1281 01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:49,340 (laughs) Bring it in, little lady. 1282 01:00:49,384 --> 01:00:51,081 I accept your offer of a ride. 1283 01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,561 But if you don't mind, 1284 01:00:52,604 --> 01:00:55,172 I will respectfully decline the hug. 1285 01:00:55,216 --> 01:00:57,740 I've been social distancing since birth. 1286 01:00:57,784 --> 01:00:59,568 (laughs) 1287 01:00:59,611 --> 01:01:01,962 ♫ I will survive ♫ 1288 01:01:02,005 --> 01:01:04,616 ♫ Oh, as long as I know How to love ♫ 1289 01:01:04,660 --> 01:01:06,227 ♫ I know I'll stay alive ♫ 1290 01:01:06,270 --> 01:01:08,316 ♫ I've got All my life to live ♫ 1291 01:01:08,359 --> 01:01:11,972 ♫ I've got all my love to give And I'll survive ♫ 1292 01:01:12,015 --> 01:01:14,191 ♫ I will survive ♫ 1293 01:01:14,235 --> 01:01:15,758 ♫ Hey, hey ♫ 1294 01:01:17,542 --> 01:01:19,066 (disco music continues) 1295 01:01:30,251 --> 01:01:32,470 ♫ Hey, hey ♫ 1296 01:01:32,514 --> 01:01:34,908 ♫ I will survive ♫ 1297 01:01:34,951 --> 01:01:37,127 ♫ Oh, as long as I know how to love... ♫ 1298 01:01:37,171 --> 01:01:38,868 Sayonara,little lady. 1299 01:01:40,130 --> 01:01:41,871 Whoo-hoo! 1300 01:01:52,839 --> 01:01:55,232 WEDNESDAY: It's all Jekyll, no Hyde. 1301 01:01:57,495 --> 01:01:59,541 (doorbell blares distortedly) 1302 01:01:59,584 --> 01:02:02,196 I feel something, Lurch. 1303 01:02:02,239 --> 01:02:05,025 As though anticipation and unease 1304 01:02:05,068 --> 01:02:08,811 birthed some kind of winged larvae in my stomach. 1305 01:02:09,159 --> 01:02:10,378 (groans) 1306 01:02:10,421 --> 01:02:13,033 Butterflies? Hmm. 1307 01:02:13,076 --> 01:02:15,644 Perhaps my digestive acids will kill them. 1308 01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:17,559 (door unlocks) 1309 01:02:17,602 --> 01:02:19,779 Wednesday! You're here! 1310 01:02:19,822 --> 01:02:21,737 Welcome home. 1311 01:02:21,781 --> 01:02:24,609 Oh. I see you brought a plus-one. 1312 01:02:24,653 --> 01:02:26,089 (Lurch groans) 1313 01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:27,395 Which is... (clears throat) 1314 01:02:27,438 --> 01:02:28,744 fine. Perfectly fine. 1315 01:02:28,788 --> 01:02:30,572 Yes. (chuckles nervously) 1316 01:02:30,615 --> 01:02:32,182 (takes deep breath) 1317 01:02:32,226 --> 01:02:33,183 Right this way. 1318 01:02:37,405 --> 01:02:38,885 -(squawks) -(yells) 1319 01:02:38,928 --> 01:02:40,321 (clears throat) 1320 01:02:40,364 --> 01:02:42,453 Wednesday, meet my wife. 1321 01:02:42,497 --> 01:02:44,194 Ingrid. (chuckles) 1322 01:02:44,238 --> 01:02:47,154 Uh, Ingrid has a touch of laryngitis 1323 01:02:47,197 --> 01:02:48,677 and finds it difficult to talk at the moment. (clears throat) 1324 01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:50,287 (girl) Hello. 1325 01:02:50,331 --> 01:02:52,812 And this is Ophelia. 1326 01:02:52,855 --> 01:02:55,815 Or as we call her, our little Oaf. 1327 01:02:56,685 --> 01:02:57,729 The other... 1328 01:02:58,252 --> 01:02:59,427 ...me. 1329 01:03:00,732 --> 01:03:01,864 -(Ingrid squawks) -Oh. 1330 01:03:01,908 --> 01:03:03,910 Uh, Ingrid, my dear, 1331 01:03:03,953 --> 01:03:06,086 why don't you rest for a while 1332 01:03:06,129 --> 01:03:08,697 and I'll show our little Wednesday around. 1333 01:03:08,740 --> 01:03:10,568 Let's go see the laboratory. 1334 01:03:10,612 --> 01:03:12,614 -(Ingrid squawks) -Don't look at them. 1335 01:03:12,657 --> 01:03:14,485 (door whirring) 1336 01:03:14,529 --> 01:03:16,139 Right this way. 1337 01:03:16,183 --> 01:03:17,880 (Muzak playing) 1338 01:03:22,798 --> 01:03:24,887 Welcome to the future, Wednesday. 1339 01:03:24,931 --> 01:03:26,454 (computers trilling) 1340 01:03:26,497 --> 01:03:28,499 What do you think? 1341 01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:31,285 Pretty boss, huh? 1342 01:03:31,328 --> 01:03:32,852 WEDNESDAY: You've got a lot of projects in the works. 1343 01:03:34,679 --> 01:03:35,985 Ready, Wednesday? 1344 01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:38,074 (grunts) 1345 01:03:39,946 --> 01:03:42,078 When I did this DNA test with Ophelia 1346 01:03:42,122 --> 01:03:44,428 and it informed me that she wasn't my daughter, 1347 01:03:44,472 --> 01:03:46,604 I was unsurprised. 1348 01:03:46,648 --> 01:03:49,520 Perhaps you can relate to me on that. 1349 01:03:49,564 --> 01:03:51,348 (snickers) You see what I did there? 1350 01:03:51,392 --> 01:03:52,915 I did, 1351 01:03:52,959 --> 01:03:55,135 though I generally find puns to be a lower form of humor. 1352 01:03:55,570 --> 01:03:56,832 Hmm. 1353 01:03:56,876 --> 01:04:00,314 My real passion has always been... 1354 01:04:01,315 --> 01:04:03,273 human behavior. 1355 01:04:03,317 --> 01:04:04,057 (gasps) 1356 01:04:05,014 --> 01:04:07,930 What an incredible coincidence. 1357 01:04:07,974 --> 01:04:11,325 Exactly my thought when I saw your winning experiment. 1358 01:04:11,368 --> 01:04:13,675 Although, if you think about it, 1359 01:04:13,718 --> 01:04:15,982 not so coincidental. 1360 01:04:16,025 --> 01:04:18,549 Like father, like daughter. Am I right? 1361 01:04:18,593 --> 01:04:20,987 (laughs awkwardly) 1362 01:04:21,030 --> 01:04:23,293 We will find out shortly. 1363 01:04:23,337 --> 01:04:26,601 And when we receive the inevitable confirmation, 1364 01:04:26,644 --> 01:04:29,734 I hope you'll reconsider what you told me at the fair. 1365 01:04:29,778 --> 01:04:31,649 About how your formula 1366 01:04:31,693 --> 01:04:34,130 -was a family secret. -(computer beeping) 1367 01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:36,393 (automated voice) DNA sequencing complete. 1368 01:04:37,742 --> 01:04:40,180 DNA match. 1369 01:04:40,223 --> 01:04:42,486 Well, it's all settled. 1370 01:04:42,530 --> 01:04:43,574 Done and... 1371 01:04:43,618 --> 01:04:45,576 (brakes screech) 1372 01:04:45,620 --> 01:04:47,578 -(alarm beeping) -Great. 1373 01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:49,363 It's my fa... Uh... 1374 01:04:50,277 --> 01:04:52,018 The Addams family. 1375 01:04:52,061 --> 01:04:54,846 (clears throat) Well, let's go greet them. 1376 01:04:58,850 --> 01:05:00,722 FESTER: You guys go ahead, I... 1377 01:05:01,636 --> 01:05:03,551 I'm gonna be going in, uh... 1378 01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:06,206 I may be some time. 1379 01:05:06,249 --> 01:05:07,729 -(thud) -(squelching) 1380 01:05:13,778 --> 01:05:15,171 (doorbell rings dully) 1381 01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:16,172 (door beeps) 1382 01:05:17,608 --> 01:05:19,915 (drawn out) You 1383 01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:23,136 rang? 1384 01:05:23,179 --> 01:05:25,355 -Lurch. -We're here to rescue Wednesday. 1385 01:05:25,399 --> 01:05:26,835 WEDNESDAY: Rescue me from what? 1386 01:05:26,878 --> 01:05:28,010 (Ingrid squawks) 1387 01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:30,273 You! 1388 01:05:30,317 --> 01:05:32,972 Cyrus Strange. Pleased to meet you. 1389 01:05:33,015 --> 01:05:35,409 You're the man from the science fair. 1390 01:05:35,452 --> 01:05:37,150 The ghostly apparition. 1391 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,588 Huh. 1392 01:05:40,631 --> 01:05:42,807 I see you've been reanimated. 1393 01:05:42,851 --> 01:05:45,027 And now, you've absconded with our daughter 1394 01:05:45,071 --> 01:05:46,855 and put her in this... (gags) In... 1395 01:05:46,898 --> 01:05:48,813 Wednesday, what are you wearing? 1396 01:05:48,857 --> 01:05:50,815 It's called a turtleneck. 1397 01:05:50,859 --> 01:05:52,687 Deceptive name, I know, 1398 01:05:52,730 --> 01:05:55,820 but it is both fashionable and functional, M... 1399 01:05:56,691 --> 01:05:58,519 Um, Morticia. 1400 01:05:58,562 --> 01:06:01,130 -(gasps) -CYRUS: Mr. and Mrs. Addams, 1401 01:06:01,174 --> 01:06:03,828 it appears that you are not Wednesday's parents. 1402 01:06:03,872 --> 01:06:05,047 I am. 1403 01:06:05,091 --> 01:06:07,049 Enough, you knave! 1404 01:06:07,093 --> 01:06:10,661 Mr. Addams, before you do anything rash, 1405 01:06:10,705 --> 01:06:13,055 you might want to see this. 1406 01:06:13,099 --> 01:06:16,058 The results conclusively prove 1407 01:06:16,102 --> 01:06:19,061 that I am not your daughter. 1408 01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:21,890 Where once I was Addams, 1409 01:06:22,673 --> 01:06:23,935 now I am Strange. 1410 01:06:24,806 --> 01:06:26,112 Zip it, Pugsley. 1411 01:06:26,155 --> 01:06:27,635 This can't be true. 1412 01:06:27,678 --> 01:06:30,333 CYRUS: I know this must be quite a shock for you, 1413 01:06:30,377 --> 01:06:31,421 Mr. and Mrs. Addams. 1414 01:06:31,465 --> 01:06:32,727 Believe me, 1415 01:06:32,770 --> 01:06:36,122 we went through the same thing with Ophelia. 1416 01:06:36,165 --> 01:06:37,819 (mud splashing) 1417 01:06:37,862 --> 01:06:39,821 (snorting, grunts) 1418 01:06:42,302 --> 01:06:43,303 Wow! 1419 01:06:46,436 --> 01:06:48,221 (snorts) 1420 01:06:48,264 --> 01:06:51,702 Wednesday, we're still your family. 1421 01:06:51,746 --> 01:06:53,878 And that's why I'd like to honor 1422 01:06:53,922 --> 01:06:56,272 your contributions to my life 1423 01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:59,971 with a proper and respectful goodbye. 1424 01:07:01,408 --> 01:07:03,714 Uh, Addams family, I... 1425 01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:05,412 I want to say... 1426 01:07:06,978 --> 01:07:08,415 (sighs) 1427 01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:11,635 It appears I'm not quite ready to part with them. 1428 01:07:11,679 --> 01:07:13,115 Forgive me, Father. 1429 01:07:13,159 --> 01:07:15,248 I do forgive you. 1430 01:07:15,291 --> 01:07:17,076 Oh, no. 1431 01:07:17,119 --> 01:07:18,816 I meant Cyrus. 1432 01:07:18,860 --> 01:07:21,080 Come on, Wednesday. You don't mean this. 1433 01:07:21,123 --> 01:07:22,168 Let's just go home. 1434 01:07:22,211 --> 01:07:23,908 We can talk about this in the camper. 1435 01:07:23,952 --> 01:07:26,128 I'm sorry, Mr. Addams. 1436 01:07:26,172 --> 01:07:28,609 I can't leave with you. 1437 01:07:28,652 --> 01:07:31,046 But maybe we can offer you 1438 01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:33,570 and Mrs. Addams shelter for the night? 1439 01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:36,269 Then tomorrow we can say goodbye. 1440 01:07:36,312 --> 01:07:38,358 Of course, daughter. 1441 01:07:38,401 --> 01:07:40,360 My man will show you to the guest quarters. 1442 01:07:40,751 --> 01:07:42,405 (groans) 1443 01:07:42,449 --> 01:07:43,841 ♫ "Happy People" playing ♫ 1444 01:07:43,885 --> 01:07:45,887 ♫ I want him back ♫ 1445 01:07:45,930 --> 01:07:49,804 ♫ Shadows I left ♫ 1446 01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:57,377 ♫ Haunting all the halls Of our house ♫ 1447 01:07:57,986 --> 01:07:59,335 (Ingrid squawks) 1448 01:07:59,379 --> 01:08:04,035 ♫ Never tried to be content ♫ 1449 01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:05,689 MORTICIA: Something isn't right. 1450 01:08:05,733 --> 01:08:07,213 Of course it's not. 1451 01:08:07,256 --> 01:08:09,476 I've loved Wednesday her whole life. 1452 01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:11,695 I can't just stop because a piece of paper says... 1453 01:08:14,785 --> 01:08:15,917 Says... 1454 01:08:21,140 --> 01:08:24,926 Wow. They really did a lot in six hours. 1455 01:08:24,969 --> 01:08:31,715 ♫ With happy people ♫ 1456 01:08:33,152 --> 01:08:34,979 Oh, Tish. 1457 01:08:35,023 --> 01:08:37,199 We've lost our little girl. 1458 01:08:37,243 --> 01:08:41,769 ♫ I want to be Like happy people ♫ 1459 01:08:41,812 --> 01:08:43,553 (Gomez sobbing) 1460 01:08:45,076 --> 01:08:46,774 -OPHELIA: Hey! -Wha... 1461 01:08:49,690 --> 01:08:51,518 Come here! (snortles) 1462 01:08:54,260 --> 01:08:55,348 (squeals) 1463 01:08:58,916 --> 01:09:01,180 I thought my bedroom was a mess. 1464 01:09:01,223 --> 01:09:03,617 This is awesome! 1465 01:09:03,660 --> 01:09:05,488 Hey, uh, are you hungry? 1466 01:09:05,532 --> 01:09:07,011 I'm always hungry. 1467 01:09:07,055 --> 01:09:08,448 (squeals) Check it out. 1468 01:09:12,495 --> 01:09:14,062 When my dad's not around, 1469 01:09:14,105 --> 01:09:16,456 I don't use forks or spoons 1470 01:09:17,021 --> 01:09:18,458 or anything. 1471 01:09:18,501 --> 01:09:19,894 (gasps) Me either! 1472 01:09:20,677 --> 01:09:22,592 (both chomping) 1473 01:09:26,770 --> 01:09:29,033 It's a lot easier to just use your face! 1474 01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:32,123 Just use your face! (snortles) 1475 01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:33,821 Where have you been all my life? 1476 01:09:33,864 --> 01:09:35,388 The farm. 1477 01:09:36,563 --> 01:09:37,651 Wait, what did you say? 1478 01:09:38,217 --> 01:09:39,392 (squeals) 1479 01:09:39,435 --> 01:09:40,393 (screams) 1480 01:09:41,959 --> 01:09:45,180 MORTICIA: Cyrus Strange is lying. I'm sure of it. 1481 01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,529 But how do we prove it to Wednesday that... 1482 01:09:46,573 --> 01:09:48,270 Oh, querida. 1483 01:09:48,314 --> 01:09:49,663 It's no use. 1484 01:09:49,706 --> 01:09:51,099 Wednesday has gone. 1485 01:09:51,142 --> 01:09:54,189 And now, we must do our duty. 1486 01:09:54,233 --> 01:09:56,409 We shall raise the pig girl and... 1487 01:09:56,452 --> 01:09:58,106 Pull yourself together, Gomez. 1488 01:09:58,149 --> 01:09:59,629 You're an Addams. 1489 01:09:59,673 --> 01:10:01,414 Just as Wednesday is. 1490 01:10:01,457 --> 01:10:03,851 Whether it's in her blood or not. 1491 01:10:03,894 --> 01:10:05,766 -(door opens) -PUGSLEY: Mom. Pop. 1492 01:10:05,809 --> 01:10:07,681 You have to see this! 1493 01:10:07,724 --> 01:10:09,248 (Ingrid clucks, squawks) 1494 01:10:10,945 --> 01:10:12,773 -(Ophelia snorts) -(Ingrid trills) 1495 01:10:12,816 --> 01:10:14,514 What happened to these people? 1496 01:10:14,557 --> 01:10:15,732 PUGSLEY: That's just it! 1497 01:10:15,776 --> 01:10:17,430 I... I don't think they are people. 1498 01:10:17,473 --> 01:10:19,170 CYRUS: Your idiot boy is right. 1499 01:10:20,389 --> 01:10:21,608 (Ingrid yelps) 1500 01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:24,524 They're animals I imbued with human traits. 1501 01:10:24,567 --> 01:10:26,830 Pretty neat, huh? 1502 01:10:26,874 --> 01:10:30,486 They always revert back to their original form, though. 1503 01:10:30,530 --> 01:10:32,532 So that's why you wanted Wednesday. 1504 01:10:32,575 --> 01:10:35,752 Her experiment did what you couldn't. 1505 01:10:35,796 --> 01:10:39,016 Men. Just can't come out and ask a woman for help, can you? 1506 01:10:39,060 --> 01:10:40,583 You faked that DNA test. 1507 01:10:40,627 --> 01:10:42,455 Blah, blah, blah, blah! 1508 01:10:42,498 --> 01:10:44,805 Oh, pipe down, Elvira! 1509 01:10:44,848 --> 01:10:48,243 That's it! Prepare to meet Old Deuteronomy! 1510 01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:49,940 Mazurka! 1511 01:10:51,551 --> 01:10:53,901 (Gomez grunts, coughs) 1512 01:10:56,817 --> 01:10:57,687 (groans) 1513 01:10:58,775 --> 01:11:00,386 (coughing) 1514 01:11:00,429 --> 01:11:02,344 Oh, where are my manners? 1515 01:11:02,388 --> 01:11:04,781 I forgot to thank you for the tip! 1516 01:11:04,825 --> 01:11:06,914 -(laughs evilly) -(Morticia groans) 1517 01:11:06,957 --> 01:11:08,394 (body thuds) 1518 01:11:08,437 --> 01:11:10,483 I'm good! I'm so good! 1519 01:11:16,010 --> 01:11:17,359 (lightning crashes) 1520 01:11:28,152 --> 01:11:29,502 So sorry about that. 1521 01:11:29,545 --> 01:11:30,981 (clears throat) Where were we? 1522 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,722 I have a surprise for you, Father. 1523 01:11:33,854 --> 01:11:34,898 (chuckles excitedly) 1524 01:11:34,942 --> 01:11:36,987 Yes. Yes! Of course! 1525 01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:38,902 It's so simple. (chuckles) 1526 01:11:40,034 --> 01:11:42,166 But... But could it work? 1527 01:11:44,168 --> 01:11:45,648 (keypad beeping) 1528 01:11:45,692 --> 01:11:47,171 (computer trilling) 1529 01:11:47,215 --> 01:11:48,390 (beeps) 1530 01:11:48,434 --> 01:11:50,087 You did it! 1531 01:11:50,131 --> 01:11:53,352 I knew funding those science fairs would pay off. 1532 01:11:53,395 --> 01:11:54,875 What was that? 1533 01:11:54,918 --> 01:11:56,572 Uh... Nothing. 1534 01:11:56,616 --> 01:12:00,359 I have a surprise for you as well, Wednesday. 1535 01:12:00,402 --> 01:12:02,143 (door opening) 1536 01:12:04,798 --> 01:12:08,062 They can be our first test subjects. 1537 01:12:08,105 --> 01:12:09,933 What have you done? 1538 01:12:09,977 --> 01:12:11,587 I've got all manner 1539 01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:14,503 of diabolical DNA in these test tubes. 1540 01:12:14,547 --> 01:12:16,810 You can isolate the Addams' annoying habits 1541 01:12:16,853 --> 01:12:19,769 and we'll replace them with ones you want. 1542 01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:21,554 But why? 1543 01:12:21,597 --> 01:12:24,252 I saw you trying to delay their departure. 1544 01:12:24,295 --> 01:12:27,298 This way, you can keep them around. 1545 01:12:27,342 --> 01:12:29,213 I need my little protege to be happy 1546 01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:31,259 and focused on her work. 1547 01:12:31,302 --> 01:12:33,783 This is important stuff we are doing, Wednesday. 1548 01:12:33,827 --> 01:12:34,915 (laughs) 1549 01:12:34,958 --> 01:12:37,091 World-changing! 1550 01:12:37,134 --> 01:12:38,571 "World-changing"? 1551 01:12:38,614 --> 01:12:40,355 If you could control people, 1552 01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:43,793 Imbue them with the strength and ferocity of any animal on earth? 1553 01:12:43,837 --> 01:12:46,056 Imagine who would pay for that! 1554 01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:48,494 The military, foreign governments, 1555 01:12:48,537 --> 01:12:50,147 call centers. 1556 01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:52,846 They'd all want unstoppable hybrid murder machines 1557 01:12:52,889 --> 01:12:55,414 programmed down to the cellular level! 1558 01:12:55,457 --> 01:12:59,330 Imagine how rich and famous we'll become! 1559 01:12:59,374 --> 01:13:03,596 All thanks to your experiment! (laughing maniacally) 1560 01:13:03,639 --> 01:13:05,467 But I only meant to show 1561 01:13:05,511 --> 01:13:08,078 how my Uncle Fester's intellect could be improved. 1562 01:13:08,122 --> 01:13:11,908 And now you get to improve the rest of your ex-family. 1563 01:13:11,952 --> 01:13:13,649 (Cyrus laughs wickedly) 1564 01:13:14,911 --> 01:13:16,086 WEDNESDAY: But they don't need improving. 1565 01:13:16,130 --> 01:13:18,306 They're fine as they are. 1566 01:13:19,350 --> 01:13:21,396 Except for maybe Pugsley. 1567 01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:24,791 But I'm the one who was looking for change, 1568 01:13:24,834 --> 01:13:26,183 not them. 1569 01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,968 But this way, you'll never have to feel different 1570 01:13:28,011 --> 01:13:31,101 from anyone in your family ever again, little boo-boo. 1571 01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:32,842 (alarm blaring) 1572 01:13:34,322 --> 01:13:36,498 (system trilling, chimes) 1573 01:13:38,761 --> 01:13:41,285 (liquid bubbling) 1574 01:13:43,462 --> 01:13:45,289 Here you are, Wednesday. 1575 01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:47,248 You do the honors. 1576 01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:48,902 (system beeping) 1577 01:13:49,859 --> 01:13:51,774 I won't! 1578 01:13:51,818 --> 01:13:54,603 Even though you are biologically my father, 1579 01:13:54,647 --> 01:13:58,085 these people are still my family. 1580 01:13:58,128 --> 01:14:01,523 The Addams family. 1581 01:14:01,567 --> 01:14:05,266 Fine. If you can't pull the trigger, I'll do it! 1582 01:14:05,919 --> 01:14:07,094 (buzzes) 1583 01:14:07,137 --> 01:14:08,225 (powering up) 1584 01:14:08,269 --> 01:14:09,705 (laughs evilly) 1585 01:14:15,929 --> 01:14:18,497 (Cyrus laughing maniacally) 1586 01:14:20,063 --> 01:14:22,588 I'm disappointed in you, Wednesday. 1587 01:14:22,631 --> 01:14:26,679 But it appears you're just a silly little girl playing with science. 1588 01:14:28,768 --> 01:14:30,683 (laughs maliciously) 1589 01:14:31,727 --> 01:14:34,556 Turn off the machine, Mr. Strange. 1590 01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:37,167 I won't ask you again. 1591 01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:38,517 (lightning crashes) 1592 01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:39,822 CYRUS: Aw! 1593 01:14:39,866 --> 01:14:42,172 Is little lady threatening me? 1594 01:14:42,216 --> 01:14:43,565 That depends. 1595 01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:45,741 Do you have a piano nearby? 1596 01:14:45,785 --> 01:14:48,352 Why would I have a piano in a laboratory? 1597 01:14:48,396 --> 01:14:51,355 In that case, Lurch... 1598 01:14:51,399 --> 01:14:52,574 (Lurch growls) 1599 01:14:52,618 --> 01:14:55,403 ...show this cretin what your cold, 1600 01:14:55,446 --> 01:14:58,014 -dead hands are capable of. -(Cyrus chuckles) 1601 01:14:58,058 --> 01:14:59,363 You think you're the only one 1602 01:14:59,407 --> 01:15:01,801 with a brainless Neanderthal bodyguard? 1603 01:15:01,844 --> 01:15:03,542 (laughing wickedly) 1604 01:15:06,675 --> 01:15:10,113 -(growling) -Kill, Pongo. Kill! 1605 01:15:11,550 --> 01:15:13,029 (growls) 1606 01:15:13,769 --> 01:15:15,379 (roars) 1607 01:15:15,423 --> 01:15:16,946 Oh, this is gonna be rich! 1608 01:15:18,078 --> 01:15:19,949 (Lurch moaning) 1609 01:15:19,993 --> 01:15:20,776 What? 1610 01:15:22,169 --> 01:15:23,344 (both roar) 1611 01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:26,652 Eh! No! Pongo, you imbecile! 1612 01:15:26,695 --> 01:15:29,002 I command you, you protect me. 1613 01:15:29,045 --> 01:15:31,482 You're wasting your breath. 1614 01:15:31,526 --> 01:15:34,703 You see, Pongo and Lurch are former cellmates 1615 01:15:34,747 --> 01:15:36,879 at the asylum where Lurch was held captive 1616 01:15:36,923 --> 01:15:38,620 before my parents found him. 1617 01:15:38,664 --> 01:15:40,448 Back in Texas, 1618 01:15:40,491 --> 01:15:45,888 Pongo told Lurch that he suspected I was in danger. 1619 01:15:45,932 --> 01:15:47,455 -I didn't believe it then. -CYRUS: Pongo, Pongo. 1620 01:15:47,498 --> 01:15:49,370 Bad boy, Pongo. Bad boy. 1621 01:15:49,413 --> 01:15:51,111 I was wrong. 1622 01:15:51,154 --> 01:15:52,808 -(Pongo growls) -No! No! 1623 01:15:52,852 --> 01:15:54,331 That's gonna leave a mark. 1624 01:15:54,375 --> 01:15:57,334 Unhand me! (screams) 1625 01:15:57,378 --> 01:15:59,772 Stop! I had a big breakfast. 1626 01:15:59,815 --> 01:16:01,687 Don't make me puke up my pancakes! 1627 01:16:01,730 --> 01:16:04,167 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1628 01:16:04,211 --> 01:16:06,300 (Cyrus yells) 1629 01:16:06,343 --> 01:16:08,824 (Cyrus grunting and groaning) 1630 01:16:08,868 --> 01:16:11,000 -(growling) -(Cyrus whimpering) 1631 01:16:11,044 --> 01:16:12,306 (screaming) 1632 01:16:13,829 --> 01:16:15,091 (electricity crackles) 1633 01:16:19,139 --> 01:16:20,096 (groans) 1634 01:16:21,837 --> 01:16:23,099 (gasping) 1635 01:16:23,143 --> 01:16:24,535 (Cyrus gurgling and choking) 1636 01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:31,020 Mother, Father, are you all right? 1637 01:16:31,064 --> 01:16:32,456 Yes, yes. 1638 01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:36,243 Fortunately, we escaped with no fatal wounds. 1639 01:16:39,202 --> 01:16:40,726 Even Pugsley? 1640 01:16:40,769 --> 01:16:42,553 Even Pugsley. 1641 01:16:42,597 --> 01:16:45,208 Oh, well. Maybe next time. 1642 01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,819 Wait, what? 1643 01:16:46,862 --> 01:16:49,343 (muffled bleating, squawking) 1644 01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:53,129 (muffled squawk, grunting) 1645 01:16:53,173 --> 01:16:55,218 (roars) 1646 01:16:55,262 --> 01:16:57,525 (laughs maliciously) 1647 01:16:58,569 --> 01:17:00,223 How very... 1648 01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:01,921 (squawks) touching. 1649 01:17:01,964 --> 01:17:03,313 (bleats) 1650 01:17:03,357 --> 01:17:06,142 My real daughter would know that sentimentality... 1651 01:17:06,186 --> 01:17:07,535 (clucking) 1652 01:17:07,578 --> 01:17:10,103 is the antithesis of science. 1653 01:17:10,146 --> 01:17:11,626 -That's right. -(gasps) 1654 01:17:11,670 --> 01:17:14,498 I lied about the DNA... (snorting) 1655 01:17:14,542 --> 01:17:16,109 -re... re... -(gasps) 1656 01:17:16,152 --> 01:17:17,545 ...results. 1657 01:17:17,588 --> 01:17:19,678 -(bleats) -(Gomez grunts) 1658 01:17:19,721 --> 01:17:22,550 I really should thank you, Wednesday. 1659 01:17:22,593 --> 01:17:25,074 -(elevator whirring) -You've uncaged me. 1660 01:17:25,118 --> 01:17:26,902 (snorting) 1661 01:17:26,946 --> 01:17:31,690 But your foul play is no longer amusing to me. 1662 01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:37,130 So, I think I'll exterminate you. 1663 01:17:38,348 --> 01:17:39,872 (Lurch and Pongo groan) 1664 01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,266 And your entire... 1665 01:17:43,310 --> 01:17:45,181 (clucking) family! 1666 01:17:45,225 --> 01:17:46,356 (grunting) 1667 01:17:49,359 --> 01:17:52,536 Get ready to cry uncle! 1668 01:17:52,580 --> 01:17:53,799 (Cyrus roars) 1669 01:17:54,756 --> 01:17:56,149 (groaning) 1670 01:17:57,716 --> 01:17:58,891 PUGSLEY: Ahh! 1671 01:18:00,022 --> 01:18:01,371 (groaning) 1672 01:18:05,419 --> 01:18:07,638 (burbles, grunts) 1673 01:18:07,682 --> 01:18:09,902 -(growls) -(Fester grunting) 1674 01:18:11,294 --> 01:18:13,296 GOMEZ: Incoming! 1675 01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,297 (Pugsley grunts) 1676 01:18:16,256 --> 01:18:17,518 Ophelia! 1677 01:18:17,561 --> 01:18:18,649 (Cyrus squawks) 1678 01:18:20,086 --> 01:18:21,391 (Fester groans) 1679 01:18:24,481 --> 01:18:26,353 -(Cyrus groans) -(Ingrid squawks) 1680 01:18:26,396 --> 01:18:28,311 (squealing) 1681 01:18:28,355 --> 01:18:29,791 (whimpering) 1682 01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:31,575 (grunts, gasps) 1683 01:18:32,054 --> 01:18:34,100 (roaring) 1684 01:18:34,143 --> 01:18:35,928 (whimpers) 1685 01:18:35,971 --> 01:18:37,494 GOMEZ: Oh, yeah! 1686 01:18:37,538 --> 01:18:38,757 That's it! You got him! 1687 01:18:44,763 --> 01:18:46,155 CYRUS: No! 1688 01:18:48,592 --> 01:18:49,768 GOMEZ: Get him, Fester! 1689 01:18:49,811 --> 01:18:51,247 Ink him! Ink him, baby! 1690 01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,389 Everybody, run! 1691 01:19:02,432 --> 01:19:04,565 (Cyrus whimpering) 1692 01:19:06,393 --> 01:19:08,047 (Cyrus yells) 1693 01:19:09,918 --> 01:19:10,963 (Cyrus squawks) 1694 01:19:17,143 --> 01:19:18,797 (grunting weakly) 1695 01:19:22,104 --> 01:19:23,976 (groaning) 1696 01:19:26,935 --> 01:19:28,284 (sighs exhaustedly) 1697 01:19:28,328 --> 01:19:30,330 Madison, would you do me the honor... 1698 01:19:30,373 --> 01:19:31,461 (distant mooing) 1699 01:19:36,553 --> 01:19:38,642 (Madison straining) 1700 01:19:38,686 --> 01:19:41,515 Yes, I'll marry you. 1701 01:19:42,516 --> 01:19:44,910 (Fester rumbling weakly) 1702 01:19:44,953 --> 01:19:46,694 Uncle Fester. 1703 01:19:47,869 --> 01:19:49,915 He's dying. 1704 01:19:49,958 --> 01:19:52,134 And it's all my fault. 1705 01:19:52,178 --> 01:19:54,049 Oh, Wednesday. 1706 01:19:58,445 --> 01:19:59,315 (Wednesday sighs) 1707 01:20:02,710 --> 01:20:04,712 Mother, when you said this necklace 1708 01:20:04,755 --> 01:20:06,670 was a part of every Addams, 1709 01:20:06,714 --> 01:20:08,585 what did you mean? 1710 01:20:08,629 --> 01:20:12,372 It contains a drop of blood from every Addams born into the family. 1711 01:20:12,415 --> 01:20:15,462 Your father, Pugsley, you... 1712 01:20:16,071 --> 01:20:18,508 And Uncle Fester. 1713 01:20:18,552 --> 01:20:21,163 Your little Addams DNA cocktail here 1714 01:20:21,207 --> 01:20:22,512 might just save the day. 1715 01:20:22,991 --> 01:20:24,079 Lurch! 1716 01:20:24,123 --> 01:20:26,038 (groans) 1717 01:20:28,997 --> 01:20:30,956 (system powering up) 1718 01:20:45,187 --> 01:20:45,884 (dings) 1719 01:20:49,757 --> 01:20:51,280 Bottoms up, Uncle Fester. 1720 01:20:55,415 --> 01:20:57,721 (Fester groaning) 1721 01:21:04,032 --> 01:21:05,120 Whoa! 1722 01:21:09,168 --> 01:21:10,952 (continues groaning) 1723 01:21:16,349 --> 01:21:18,090 (continues groaning) 1724 01:21:25,619 --> 01:21:26,620 (Morticia gasps) 1725 01:21:30,406 --> 01:21:31,364 (burps) 1726 01:21:32,452 --> 01:21:35,020 (sighs) Did I win? 1727 01:21:35,324 --> 01:21:37,196 Yes. 1728 01:21:37,239 --> 01:21:40,503 -Yes, you did, Uncle Fester. -(chuckles) 1729 01:21:40,547 --> 01:21:42,157 Oh, and, Pugsley, 1730 01:21:42,201 --> 01:21:44,420 it looks like Ophelia is feeling better too. 1731 01:21:47,336 --> 01:21:48,424 (gasps) 1732 01:21:49,599 --> 01:21:51,340 (both chuckle excitedly) 1733 01:21:53,473 --> 01:21:56,693 Mother, Father, I'm sorry. 1734 01:21:56,737 --> 01:21:59,392 I didn't want to be an Addams. 1735 01:21:59,435 --> 01:22:02,395 I struggled with feeling different. 1736 01:22:02,438 --> 01:22:05,833 But now, I realize that being different 1737 01:22:05,876 --> 01:22:09,097 is the most Addams-y thing there is. 1738 01:22:09,141 --> 01:22:11,186 "Different" is what the extra "D" 1739 01:22:11,230 --> 01:22:13,232 in "Addams" stands for. 1740 01:22:13,275 --> 01:22:16,235 I always thought it stood for "dismemberment." 1741 01:22:17,062 --> 01:22:18,628 Can you forgive me? 1742 01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:20,848 Wednesday, 1743 01:22:20,891 --> 01:22:24,852 you are and always will be our little ghoul. 1744 01:22:24,895 --> 01:22:26,767 We love you. 1745 01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:28,029 Thank you, Mother. 1746 01:22:28,073 --> 01:22:29,465 The feeling is mutual. 1747 01:22:30,684 --> 01:22:32,077 And, Father... 1748 01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:34,775 Yes, my little raven? 1749 01:22:34,818 --> 01:22:36,646 I have something for you. 1750 01:22:46,134 --> 01:22:49,442 Come on, Addams family. Let's go home. 1751 01:22:49,485 --> 01:22:50,704 -(Fester chuckles) -(Lurch groans) 1752 01:22:51,792 --> 01:22:53,315 (electronic dance music playing) 1753 01:22:53,359 --> 01:22:54,360 (excited shouting) 1754 01:23:00,453 --> 01:23:01,584 Gruesome. 1755 01:23:01,628 --> 01:23:04,979 Mmm! And fragrant. 1756 01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:06,720 -(glass shatters) -(people whooping) 1757 01:23:08,287 --> 01:23:09,897 -(all exclaim excitedly) -Yeah! Awesome! 1758 01:23:09,940 --> 01:23:11,072 Now, look, look, look. 1759 01:23:11,116 --> 01:23:13,640 All I did was invite a few people over 1760 01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:15,642 and things got a little bit out of hand. 1761 01:23:15,685 --> 01:23:18,558 Yes, there were a few injuries, but the EMT is here. 1762 01:23:18,601 --> 01:23:20,864 They're having a wonderful time. 1763 01:23:20,908 --> 01:23:23,693 What a lovely homecoming present. 1764 01:23:23,737 --> 01:23:25,869 Oh. (chuckles nervously) 1765 01:23:25,913 --> 01:23:29,047 Welcome home! (laughs) 1766 01:23:29,090 --> 01:23:31,266 (crowd cheering) 1767 01:23:32,702 --> 01:23:35,531 (hip-hop music playing) 1768 01:23:35,575 --> 01:23:38,317 (cackles) I thought you'd never get here. 1769 01:23:39,579 --> 01:23:40,841 (babbling) 1770 01:23:40,884 --> 01:23:42,973 Oh, my goodness! (shrieks) 1771 01:23:45,585 --> 01:23:48,240 Let's light it up, hairball! 1772 01:23:48,283 --> 01:23:50,155 (babbles) 1773 01:23:50,198 --> 01:23:51,373 ♫ You know I never left ♫ 1774 01:23:51,417 --> 01:23:52,809 ♫ That's how I brought it back ♫ 1775 01:23:52,853 --> 01:23:54,985 ♫ But what I wanna know Is where the party at ♫ 1776 01:23:55,029 --> 01:23:56,813 ♫ I came a long way to get These people out they seat ♫ 1777 01:23:56,857 --> 01:23:58,685 ♫ Now I need y'all To clap your hands ♫ 1778 01:23:58,728 --> 01:24:00,121 ♫ To the beat And have a good time ♫ 1779 01:24:00,165 --> 01:24:01,905 ♫ Don't be acting like that ♫ 1780 01:24:01,949 --> 01:24:03,255 ♫ We got it crackin' In the back ♫ 1781 01:24:03,298 --> 01:24:04,517 ♫ Oh, yeah, it's lit ♫ 1782 01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,258 ♫ My brand-new outfit ♫ 1783 01:24:06,301 --> 01:24:07,955 ♫ The one to get The party started ♫ 1784 01:24:07,998 --> 01:24:10,262 ♫ Plugged and wet Gloves and mitt, club is lit ♫ 1785 01:24:10,305 --> 01:24:11,915 ♫ Kind of the one One of a kind ♫ 1786 01:24:11,959 --> 01:24:13,134 ♫ It's Cousin It ♫ 1787 01:24:13,178 --> 01:24:14,701 ♫ He's the host with the most ♫ 1788 01:24:14,744 --> 01:24:17,356 ♫ I wanna give a toast To the wild, wild West Coast ♫ 1789 01:24:17,399 --> 01:24:18,531 ♫ Now if you're Feeling like a villain ♫ 1790 01:24:18,574 --> 01:24:20,228 ♫ Say, "Yeah, yeah" ♫ 1791 01:24:20,272 --> 01:24:22,056 ♫ Snoop Dogg is in the house And he's a playa, playa ♫ 1792 01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:23,057 ♫ And all the ladies In the house ♫ 1793 01:24:23,101 --> 01:24:24,580 ♫ Say, "Oh, yeah" ♫ 1794 01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,495 ♫ We're family for sure In case you didn't know ♫ 1795 01:24:26,539 --> 01:24:27,627 ♫ It ain't nothin' going on ♫ 1796 01:24:27,670 --> 01:24:30,020 We love you, It! 1797 01:24:30,064 --> 01:24:32,762 I still don't understand a word that guy says. 1798 01:24:32,806 --> 01:24:34,112 (Ophelia and Pugsley laughing) 1799 01:24:35,461 --> 01:24:37,245 Yeah! 1800 01:24:37,289 --> 01:24:41,031 Didn't I tell you this trip would bring the family closer together? 1801 01:24:41,075 --> 01:24:43,991 You're a wonderful father, darling. 1802 01:24:44,034 --> 01:24:46,428 There's one thing that's still troubling me. 1803 01:24:46,472 --> 01:24:48,604 Cyrus lied about being my father, 1804 01:24:48,648 --> 01:24:51,781 but when I tested your hair at the Grand Canyon, 1805 01:24:51,825 --> 01:24:55,785 it said conclusively that you were not my father either. 1806 01:24:55,829 --> 01:24:58,527 Ah, that explains it. 1807 01:24:58,571 --> 01:25:00,007 I suffered a little accident 1808 01:25:00,050 --> 01:25:02,270 with a napalm experiment a few years back 1809 01:25:02,314 --> 01:25:04,794 and lost my beautiful, beautiful hair. 1810 01:25:04,838 --> 01:25:06,187 (splutters) 1811 01:25:07,406 --> 01:25:09,756 Had it replaced with real Sasquatch fur. 1812 01:25:09,799 --> 01:25:11,584 I assure you, Wednesday, 1813 01:25:11,627 --> 01:25:13,107 I am your father. 1814 01:25:13,151 --> 01:25:15,283 Now and always. 1815 01:25:15,979 --> 01:25:17,285 (gasps and groans) 1816 01:25:17,329 --> 01:25:19,505 I already hugged you once, Father. 1817 01:25:19,548 --> 01:25:21,898 That's quite enough affection for a lifetime. 1818 01:25:21,942 --> 01:25:23,596 (Gomez laughs) 1819 01:25:24,379 --> 01:25:26,381 Well, Addams, 1820 01:25:26,425 --> 01:25:29,123 time to start planning the next family vacation. 1821 01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:32,779 Maybe a trip around the world? What do you say? 1822 01:25:32,822 --> 01:25:35,782 (theme music playing) 1823 01:25:37,044 --> 01:25:38,654 (projector whirring) 1824 01:25:40,787 --> 01:25:42,441 (singing) 1825 01:26:15,213 --> 01:26:18,346 ♫ "Mi Familia" Serrano Remix playing ♫ 1826 01:26:18,390 --> 01:26:20,870 ♫ Ay, I'm finna pull up In that creepy, crawly ♫ 1827 01:26:20,914 --> 01:26:22,394 ♫ All black Bugatti ♫ 1828 01:26:22,437 --> 01:26:24,744 ♫ Bag full of money But it's looking like a body ♫ 1829 01:26:24,787 --> 01:26:26,963 ♫ Weird but I'm wonderful Crazy but I'm confident ♫ 1830 01:26:27,007 --> 01:26:29,183 ♫ I could find a brighter side To any name they hit me with ♫ 1831 01:26:29,227 --> 01:26:31,577 ♫ I'm in that all black I think I'm all that ♫ 1832 01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:33,709 ♫ I rock designer They don't know how To pronounce that ♫ 1833 01:26:33,753 --> 01:26:35,929 ♫ And I don't trip when I fall 'Cause I bounce back ♫ 1834 01:26:35,972 --> 01:26:37,887 ♫ And I be rolling with My clique like a mousepad ♫ 1835 01:26:37,931 --> 01:26:39,933 (singing in Spanish) 1836 01:26:47,245 --> 01:26:51,901 ♫ We slide we creep All down your street ♫ 1837 01:26:51,945 --> 01:26:56,863 ♫ They say we're freaks I'm sayin' they're with me ♫ 1838 01:26:56,906 --> 01:26:58,995 -♫ We so unique ♫ -♫ So unique ♫ 1839 01:26:59,039 --> 01:27:01,346 ♫ We all black sheep ♫ 1840 01:27:01,389 --> 01:27:05,872 ♫ We're one big crazy family Cha cha cha ♫ 1841 01:27:05,915 --> 01:27:07,700 (singing in Spanish) 1842 01:27:25,195 --> 01:27:27,763 ♫ I only hang with the family 'Cause nobody can handle me ♫ 1843 01:27:27,807 --> 01:27:29,112 ♫ Try to act like I'm scary ♫ 1844 01:27:29,156 --> 01:27:30,810 ♫ Because I'm something They never seen ♫ 1845 01:27:30,853 --> 01:27:32,551 ♫ My whole room like a vanity I'm in love with myself ♫ 1846 01:27:32,594 --> 01:27:33,552 ♫ They know That they can't touch me ♫ 1847 01:27:33,595 --> 01:27:35,597 ♫ When I'm feelin' myself, eh ♫ 1848 01:27:35,641 --> 01:27:40,210 ♫ We slide we creep All down your street ♫ 1849 01:27:40,254 --> 01:27:42,604 -♫ They say we're freaks ♫ -♫ Loco ♫ 1850 01:27:42,648 --> 01:27:44,954 ♫ I'm sayin' they're with me ♫ 1851 01:27:44,998 --> 01:27:47,174 -♫ We so unique ♫ -♫ So unique ♫ 1852 01:27:47,217 --> 01:27:49,785 ♫ We all black sheep ♫ 1853 01:27:49,829 --> 01:27:54,573 ♫ We're one big crazy family Cha cha cha ♫ 1854 01:27:54,616 --> 01:27:57,924 -♫ Awoo ♫ -♫ Love that crazy baby ♫ 1855 01:27:57,967 --> 01:27:58,751 ♫ Shake it ♫ 1856 01:28:04,017 --> 01:28:05,932 (singing in Spanish) 1857 01:28:08,630 --> 01:28:11,285 ♫ Wherever we are Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1858 01:28:11,329 --> 01:28:13,461 ♫ Feels like home Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1859 01:28:13,505 --> 01:28:15,550 -♫ We slide we creep ♫ -♫ Slide ♫ 1860 01:28:15,594 --> 01:28:17,813 ♫ All down your street ♫ 1861 01:28:17,857 --> 01:28:22,992 ♫ We're one big crazy family Cha cha cha ♫ 1862 01:28:23,036 --> 01:28:25,647 ♫ I've been around Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1863 01:28:25,691 --> 01:28:27,823 ♫ Been up and down Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1864 01:28:27,867 --> 01:28:30,304 ♫ So glad I know now Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1865 01:28:30,348 --> 01:28:32,480 ♫ I'm not alone now Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1866 01:28:32,524 --> 01:28:35,091 ♫ No matter where we roam ♫ 1867 01:28:35,135 --> 01:28:37,267 ♫ Don't matter 'Cause we know ♫ 1868 01:28:37,311 --> 01:28:39,661 ♫ Wherever we are Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1869 01:28:39,705 --> 01:28:41,184 ♫ Feels like home Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1870 01:28:41,228 --> 01:28:42,185 ♫ Eh! ♫